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1
00:00:01,036 --> 00:00:04,540
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:10,844
Melanie, explain yourself.
3
00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:12,779
I don't know what you're
talking about.
4
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,817
Oh, I think you do.
5
00:00:14,851 --> 00:00:16,752
Your hair looks amazing.
6
00:00:16,787 --> 00:00:18,023
When was your last blow out?
7
00:00:18,057 --> 00:00:19,725
I don't know.
8
00:00:19,759 --> 00:00:21,428
Seven, eight days?
Who keeps track?
9
00:00:21,462 --> 00:00:24,134
We do, it's been 12 days.
10
00:00:24,168 --> 00:00:26,336
Who is this magical
hairdresser?
11
00:00:26,371 --> 00:00:29,374
We demand to know
who's blowing you.
12
00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:35,282
I'd rather not say.
13
00:00:35,316 --> 00:00:36,717
Why not?
14
00:00:36,752 --> 00:00:40,289
Because every time I find a
cool, charming Cleveland place,
15
00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:41,591
you two do something
to ruin it.
16
00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,561
What are you talking about?
17
00:00:43,596 --> 00:00:45,564
Ray's dry cleaners.
18
00:00:45,598 --> 00:00:47,568
They were trying
to devalue my brand.
19
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:49,905
They just wanted to put your
photo on their wall.
20
00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:51,173
I think it's sweet.
21
00:00:51,207 --> 00:00:53,175
Not when the only other
headshots on the wall
22
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:57,581
are of their ugly
niece and Klinger.
23
00:00:57,616 --> 00:01:02,654
Actually, I think
they're both his niece.
24
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,823
Anyway, every time
I go in there,
25
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,792
Ray asks why you don't
come around any more.
26
00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:09,328
It's embarrassing.
Who is Ray?
27
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:13,399
The man who owns
"Ray's" dry cleaners.
28
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:15,769
The place we're talking about.
29
00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:16,936
Oh, come on, Melanie.
30
00:01:16,971 --> 00:01:18,839
That's just Victoria
being Victoria.
31
00:01:18,873 --> 00:01:20,974
We all know she can be a cat
among pigeons.
32
00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:23,644
English, please.
33
00:01:23,678 --> 00:01:25,280
That is English.
34
00:01:25,314 --> 00:01:26,915
Original English
before you people
35
00:01:26,949 --> 00:01:28,817
bastardized it
with your...
36
00:01:28,851 --> 00:01:34,158
[American accent]
Hamburgers...and elevators.
37
00:01:34,192 --> 00:01:37,862
The point is,
I don't ruin places.
38
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:40,065
You told the manager at
Gremore's that they
39
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,301
needed to incorporate
more vegan dishes.
40
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:45,939
- Well, they should.
- They're a barbecue joint.
41
00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:48,476
Veganism is the new Atkins.
42
00:01:52,382 --> 00:01:55,051
You two are always looking down
your noses at Cleveland.
43
00:01:55,086 --> 00:01:56,320
Well, of course.
44
00:01:56,354 --> 00:02:00,158
Looking down the nose is
flattering to the neckline.
45
00:02:05,354 --> 00:02:10,458
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,978
How great is it that we got
appointments at the same time?
47
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,680
Now we can gossip
with each other.
48
00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:20,749
I just have to get
all my talking out
49
00:02:20,783 --> 00:02:21,950
before I see Christopher.
50
00:02:21,985 --> 00:02:23,052
He says the sound of my voice
51
00:02:23,086 --> 00:02:25,855
makes him wanna kill himself.
52
00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:27,357
No, no, no.
53
00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:30,393
Out of my salon, get out!
54
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:33,564
But why?
55
00:02:33,598 --> 00:02:36,233
You cut your own bangs.
56
00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:38,001
It is my hair.
57
00:02:38,036 --> 00:02:39,803
No, no, it's my hair.
58
00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:42,306
You're just the dirt
from which it grows.
59
00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:43,540
Out!
60
00:02:43,574 --> 00:02:44,841
Are we still on for tonight?
61
00:02:44,876 --> 00:02:47,677
I suppose.
62
00:02:47,712 --> 00:02:49,646
I'll do you,
but not your hair.
63
00:02:49,681 --> 00:02:51,849
Scram.
64
00:02:51,883 --> 00:02:53,251
Hi, Christopher.
65
00:02:53,285 --> 00:02:57,455
Ugh!
That voice.
66
00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:01,793
I need to go soothe my nerves.
67
00:03:02,528 --> 00:03:04,197
What a putz.
68
00:03:05,231 --> 00:03:07,633
You really should
switch to Pierre.
69
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:08,667
Oh, I don't know.
70
00:03:08,702 --> 00:03:10,103
Isn't Pierre a little flirty?
71
00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:13,139
Yeah, but it's okay.
He's gay.
72
00:03:15,642 --> 00:03:18,244
Elka, you sexy beast!
73
00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:25,618
I want to snap you in two
and suck out the middle.
74
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:27,087
Oh, Pierre.
75
00:03:27,121 --> 00:03:28,388
Thank you, Pierre.
76
00:03:28,422 --> 00:03:29,422
This is for you.
77
00:03:29,456 --> 00:03:32,625
Put it in the bank,
sweetheart.
78
00:03:32,659 --> 00:03:34,494
Thank you very much.
79
00:03:34,528 --> 00:03:36,429
And who is this
beautiful creature?
80
00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:37,564
Your sister?
81
00:03:37,598 --> 00:03:41,901
Older sister.
82
00:03:41,936 --> 00:03:44,437
Both of you, come on back
and let's get you started.
83
00:03:44,471 --> 00:03:45,805
Oh, wait, no, I don't know
if I'm allowed
84
00:03:45,839 --> 00:03:46,806
to sit in the chair yet.
85
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,874
You know, Christopher.
86
00:03:47,908 --> 00:03:51,210
Girlfriend, please!
87
00:03:51,244 --> 00:03:54,013
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely sure.
88
00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:58,050
And as for you, if that fabulous
tushy isn't in that chair
89
00:03:58,085 --> 00:04:00,820
in 20 seconds, it's gonna
be in my hands.
90
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:08,127
It's okay.
91
00:04:08,162 --> 00:04:09,128
He's gay.
92
00:04:09,162 --> 00:04:12,531
Yeah. Got that.
93
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,400
So much gorgeous
in this room,
94
00:04:14,434 --> 00:04:16,769
it's like being backstage
at a drag show.
95
00:04:20,274 --> 00:04:22,308
Whoa, whoa, whoa, who told you
you could sit there?
96
00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:23,408
I did.
97
00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:25,544
I told you never speak
to my clients.
98
00:04:25,578 --> 00:04:28,947
I don't like them to feel
comfortable talking.
99
00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:30,649
I could go sit
in the reception area.
100
00:04:30,683 --> 00:04:33,318
- Really, it's not a problem.
- Now you've upset Melanie.
101
00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:35,320
- Shame on you!
- Yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:35,355 --> 00:04:36,688
Come on, sugarbuns.
103
00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:38,623
Let's go get you shampooed.
104
00:04:38,658 --> 00:04:42,127
Oh, if I could be
your bra for one day.
105
00:04:42,161 --> 00:04:44,329
What am I saying?
I'd get nothing done!
106
00:04:46,565 --> 00:04:47,765
What's going on here?
Speak.
107
00:04:47,799 --> 00:04:49,733
Well, it's been about--
108
00:04:49,768 --> 00:04:51,802
Not you, your hair!
109
00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:54,305
What has she done to you?
110
00:04:54,339 --> 00:04:56,573
Run her greasy fingers
through you?
111
00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:57,808
Huh?
112
00:04:57,842 --> 00:04:59,442
Try on some hot girl's hat
113
00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:01,845
she's 20 years too old for?
114
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:04,914
It was just a beret,
I swear.
115
00:05:04,949 --> 00:05:08,184
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
116
00:05:08,218 --> 00:05:11,554
Oh, my God, how did
you guys find me?
117
00:05:11,589 --> 00:05:12,856
We have our ways.
118
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:14,490
You followed me,
didn't you?
119
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:17,794
Yes, that is our way.
120
00:05:17,829 --> 00:05:19,229
I cannot believe you two.
121
00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:22,800
Oh, relax, we just wanted to
see what all the fuss was about.
122
00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:24,735
Still wanna see it.
123
00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:26,202
Excuse me, I don't
come to your work
124
00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:29,339
and knock the mop
out of your hands.
125
00:05:29,374 --> 00:05:30,707
Rude to customers.
126
00:05:30,741 --> 00:05:32,341
Very un-Cleveland.
127
00:05:32,376 --> 00:05:34,110
You, go get shampooed.
128
00:05:34,144 --> 00:05:36,345
You two, time to leave.
Buh-bye.
129
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,647
Yeah. Buh-bye.
130
00:05:38,682 --> 00:05:40,782
One question before I go.
131
00:05:40,816 --> 00:05:43,684
Is it true that your blow outs
last 12 days?
132
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,186
No.
133
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,554
14.
134
00:05:46,588 --> 00:05:50,356
16 if the bitch
follows my instructions.
135
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,058
He's so mean.
136
00:05:52,093 --> 00:05:53,994
I know, I love him already.
137
00:05:54,028 --> 00:05:55,662
You have to do my hair, today.
138
00:05:55,696 --> 00:05:57,263
[Chuckles]
I'm booked.
139
00:05:57,298 --> 00:06:00,166
Yeah, yeah, there's always
room if the price is right.
140
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,667
What do you charge?
141
00:06:01,702 --> 00:06:03,302
$30.
142
00:06:06,807 --> 00:06:07,940
Look, we're not
gonna get anywhere
143
00:06:07,975 --> 00:06:09,408
if you insist
on joking around.
144
00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:13,346
What do you charge?
145
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:16,415
If your blow outs are as good
as I think they are,
146
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,583
you could be charging
ten times that amount.
147
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,252
Oh, people
wouldn't pay that.
148
00:06:20,286 --> 00:06:21,519
Of course they would.
149
00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:22,754
Nothing's more seductive
150
00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:24,956
than the illusion
of exclusivity.
151
00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:26,858
I have been thinking
about taking
152
00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:28,459
the salon in a new direction.
153
00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:30,427
Yeah, like out of 1975?
154
00:06:30,462 --> 00:06:32,129
I mean, what is
with this area over here
155
00:06:32,163 --> 00:06:35,133
with the hooded driers
and the dog photos?
156
00:06:35,167 --> 00:06:36,701
Yeah, this area has to go.
157
00:06:36,736 --> 00:06:37,969
That's what
I've been thinking.
158
00:06:38,004 --> 00:06:39,404
Pierre, get out here.
159
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:41,707
- What is it?
- You're fired.
160
00:06:41,741 --> 00:06:42,709
What?
161
00:06:42,743 --> 00:06:45,145
Let me lather, rinse
and repeat that.
162
00:06:45,179 --> 00:06:47,047
What?!
163
00:06:47,081 --> 00:06:48,682
Wait, wait, wait, this is not
what I was talking about.
164
00:06:48,717 --> 00:06:52,118
Quiet, robot.
165
00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:54,054
I'm taking the salon
in a new direction.
166
00:06:54,088 --> 00:06:55,589
I'm tired of you
holding me back.
167
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,357
You want me out?
I'm out.
168
00:06:57,392 --> 00:06:58,459
- Good.
- Good!
169
00:06:58,493 --> 00:07:00,795
- Fine.
- Fine!
170
00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:01,996
What's going on out here?
171
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,531
The pissant fired me.
172
00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:06,133
Somehow he's got an idea
that I'm holding him back.
173
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:10,170
But in the words of Abba,
"The winner takes it all."
174
00:07:12,507 --> 00:07:14,375
Now where would Christopher
get the idea
175
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:17,412
that Pierre's
holding him back?
176
00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:21,416
Wherever Pierre is going,
we're going too.
177
00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:23,986
Right, Melanie?
Uh...
178
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,654
Come on, let's just
storm out of here.
179
00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,223
Yeah, but wouldn't
my storming look better
180
00:07:27,257 --> 00:07:28,458
if my hair was
freshly blown out?
181
00:07:28,492 --> 00:07:30,393
Now, Melanie.
182
00:07:30,428 --> 00:07:32,195
Come on, you guys.
183
00:07:32,229 --> 00:07:37,900
I would, but I think an
appointment just opened up.
184
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:40,002
Skinny, in the chair.
185
00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:43,405
Skinnier, go get shampoo.
186
00:07:43,439 --> 00:07:44,906
Which is which?
187
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:47,709
He's trying to sow dissention
between us.
188
00:07:48,243 --> 00:07:50,745
The man is a genius.
189
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:01,479
I was minutes away from
getting a blow out,
190
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:04,382
and instead I get kicked out
with my hair still wet.
191
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:07,417
My hair dried... naturally.
192
00:08:10,121 --> 00:08:12,122
I think it makes
you look young.
193
00:08:12,156 --> 00:08:13,890
Like you went swimming
at the beach
194
00:08:13,924 --> 00:08:17,627
and drove home
in a convertible.
195
00:08:17,661 --> 00:08:20,663
Then... got hit by lightning.
196
00:08:22,732 --> 00:08:24,833
I can't believe you guys
showed up at the salon.
197
00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:26,402
Well, if you didn't
want us there,
198
00:08:26,436 --> 00:08:27,837
then why didn't you say so?
199
00:08:27,871 --> 00:08:29,939
I did.
200
00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:31,574
Like a hundred times.
201
00:08:31,608 --> 00:08:33,543
- Well, I didn't hear it.
- Of course not.
202
00:08:33,577 --> 00:08:35,679
The only way to guarantee you
hear anything
203
00:08:35,713 --> 00:08:37,347
is to mention
your agent called.
204
00:08:37,382 --> 00:08:39,416
Well, I don't know why you're
taking this out on me.
205
00:08:39,451 --> 00:08:41,819
Joy's the one who said,
"who cares how Melanie feels?
206
00:08:41,853 --> 00:08:43,888
Let's follow her."
207
00:08:43,922 --> 00:08:46,890
I told you that
in confidence.
208
00:08:46,924 --> 00:08:49,826
And I didn't say it.
209
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,828
Look, she's the one that got
Pierre fired.
210
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:53,696
No, no, no that
was Melanie's fault.
211
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,231
If you hadn't been getting
secret blow outs,
212
00:08:55,265 --> 00:08:56,432
this never
would have happened.
213
00:08:56,467 --> 00:08:59,034
J'accuse!
214
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:01,270
Okay, let's just stop.
215
00:09:01,304 --> 00:09:02,737
Obviously there's some
tension here.
216
00:09:02,772 --> 00:09:04,940
And I think we have all
noticed that we have been
217
00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:08,577
getting on each other's
nerves lately.
218
00:09:08,612 --> 00:09:10,747
So I think it might be a good
idea if we just clear the air
219
00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:15,118
and vent our frustrations
in a calm and respectful manner.
220
00:09:15,153 --> 00:09:17,521
- Okay, that's a good idea.
- I'm willing to try.
221
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:20,591
And I'll start by saying
I love you both.
222
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:24,663
But, uh, lately,
you have a been a little,
223
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:27,899
shall we say, disrespectful.
224
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,367
For example, when--
225
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,438
We're not getting any younger
here, Melanie.
226
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,572
This is exactly what I'm
talking about.
227
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:37,407
You barely listen to me.
228
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:39,610
Because you take forever
to get to the point.
229
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,778
Now I can say what's wrong
with both of you in two words.
230
00:09:41,813 --> 00:09:44,781
You're a wimp and
you're a bummer.
231
00:09:46,283 --> 00:09:48,084
In what way am I bummer?
232
00:09:48,118 --> 00:09:49,819
Well, you're always
pooh-poohing things
233
00:09:49,854 --> 00:09:53,489
and your "can't do"
attitude is exhausting.
234
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:55,358
I will file that under
235
00:09:55,392 --> 00:09:57,360
"things Victoria says
that make no sense"
236
00:09:57,394 --> 00:10:02,798
or, to avoid redundancy,
"things Victoria says".
237
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:04,567
Okay, come on, that's not calm
and respectful.
238
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:08,905
Thank God we have Hall Monitor
Melanie to keep us in line.
239
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,241
I'll have you know
that hall monitor
240
00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:14,178
was a respected position
in my high school.
241
00:10:14,712 --> 00:10:16,414
If you wanted to go
to the bathroom,
242
00:10:16,448 --> 00:10:19,751
you had to go through me.
243
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,455
While we're on Melanie,
do you have to be
244
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,991
so damn friendly
to everyone we run into?
245
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,060
You know, just once I would
like to be able to go
246
00:10:29,094 --> 00:10:32,330
to the grocery store without
being introduced to the bag boy.
247
00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:33,998
[Sharp laugh]
Like you've ever been
248
00:10:34,032 --> 00:10:35,199
to a grocery store.
249
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:36,200
I'm the one that does
all the shopping.
250
00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:37,367
That is so not fair.
251
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:39,002
I make the lists,
you do the shopping,
252
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:41,070
and Joy drinks all the vodka.
253
00:10:41,105 --> 00:10:44,173
How else do you expect me
to sit through one of your
254
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,309
"it's so hard being famous"
stories?
255
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:47,344
I'm sorry.
256
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:49,346
Am I seriously being attacked
257
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:52,717
for being a celebrity?
258
00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:56,488
Newsflash, the ins and outs
of the Lifetime Original Movie
259
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,490
where you portrayed a sexy
manicurist who played
260
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:01,060
by her own rules, aren't
as interesting as you think.
261
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:05,565
I'll have you know that
Lifetime had its best ratings
262
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,601
of the year with
You're Soaking In It.
263
00:11:11,973 --> 00:11:14,208
What exactly were
the manicurist rules
264
00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:15,242
she was breaking anyway?
265
00:11:15,277 --> 00:11:18,012
And here come the questions.
266
00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:19,046
What is that
supposed to mean?
267
00:11:19,081 --> 00:11:20,915
It means living
with you is like
268
00:11:20,949 --> 00:11:22,349
a never-ending game
of Jeopardy.
269
00:11:22,384 --> 00:11:24,718
Everything is in the form
of a question!
270
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,220
Where in the world
would you get that idea?
271
00:11:27,255 --> 00:11:30,524
And there's
our Daily Double.
272
00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:31,691
So what?
273
00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,359
Are there worse things
in the world?
274
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,428
And yes, I realize those are
both questions
275
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,496
to which there is one answer.
276
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,533
[Blows raspberry]
277
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,003
Well...
278
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,338
This was certainly productive.
279
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,807
I think I'm done here.
280
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,643
- Me too.
- Me too.
281
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,578
But seriously,
did my agent call?
282
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:57,450
Both: No!
283
00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:00,353
Hello, traitors.
284
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:03,156
Pierre, Joy is so very sorry
about what happened today.
285
00:12:03,191 --> 00:12:06,527
Yes, Victoria would like
to apologize for any part
286
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:07,995
she played
in you getting fired.
287
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:10,798
Please, like the great Gloria
Gaynor once said,
288
00:12:10,832 --> 00:12:13,768
I will survive.
289
00:12:13,802 --> 00:12:16,938
Besides, who could be unhappy
290
00:12:16,972 --> 00:12:21,210
surrounded by
three gorgeous women?
291
00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:24,513
Oh, that's so sweet,
but there's four of us here.
292
00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:27,683
I know.
293
00:12:27,717 --> 00:12:30,151
You've got to do something
about that hair.
294
00:12:30,186 --> 00:12:31,819
Holy Toledo.
295
00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:33,854
It's a mess!
296
00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:38,325
Let's have a little fun
with this, shall we?
297
00:12:38,359 --> 00:12:41,761
Have you ever thought about
going a tiny bit shorter?
298
00:12:41,796 --> 00:12:43,196
A little brighter?
299
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,798
Yeah, I have, actually.
300
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,834
Then leave it to Pierre.
301
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:53,875
Oh, God.
302
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:54,976
Good lord.
303
00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:58,513
You look fantastic.
304
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,418
All right, done.
305
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:05,886
But you're gonna have to wear
this wig until it grows back.
306
00:13:06,421 --> 00:13:07,387
[Gasps]
307
00:13:07,422 --> 00:13:09,924
Oh, my God, it's perfect.
308
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:14,062
It looks just like my old hair.
309
00:13:14,096 --> 00:13:15,263
That's 'cause I'm a genius.
310
00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:16,598
- Say it.
- You're a genius.
311
00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:19,068
Stop kissing my ass.
312
00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:21,805
This is a relief.
313
00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:24,240
Normally I'd be excited to go
home and show my roommates,
314
00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:26,209
but, oh, after the
fight we just had...
315
00:13:26,243 --> 00:13:27,543
Let's just say
the gloves came off.
316
00:13:27,578 --> 00:13:29,512
We're not even speaking
to each other.
317
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,581
I don't care.
318
00:13:31,615 --> 00:13:34,417
It's just that it's not only
this one thing.
319
00:13:34,452 --> 00:13:38,388
- Lately they've been--
- Driving me crazy.
320
00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:40,991
I mean it is kind of remarkable
that we got along
321
00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:42,492
as long as we did.
322
00:13:42,526 --> 00:13:46,329
A lonely British expat, an
all-American girl next door,
323
00:13:46,363 --> 00:13:50,366
and an underappreciated, though
highly sought after actress
324
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,403
living away
from the limelight.
325
00:13:53,437 --> 00:13:54,937
I won't insult
your intelligence
326
00:13:54,972 --> 00:13:57,340
by telling you who
the beautiful actress is.
327
00:13:57,374 --> 00:13:59,344
Yeah.
I don't care.
328
00:14:01,378 --> 00:14:03,646
Oh, it was
a horrible argument.
329
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,116
But in my defense,
Melanie is obnoxiously nice.
330
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:10,387
I don't care.
331
00:14:10,421 --> 00:14:13,990
And Joy, I mean, she has such
amazingly low self-esteem.
332
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:16,426
It's probably why she's
always falling into bed
333
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:19,729
with the most unavailable men.
334
00:14:19,764 --> 00:14:22,465
Go on.
335
00:14:22,499 --> 00:14:24,633
I have half a mind to--
336
00:14:24,668 --> 00:14:27,236
Try to find
a place of my own.
337
00:14:27,271 --> 00:14:29,807
I don't care.
338
00:14:30,841 --> 00:14:34,143
Listen, sweetie, I got
a client coming, so could you,
339
00:14:34,178 --> 00:14:38,181
you know, fold up the couch
and beat it?
340
00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:40,550
Wait, what about getting my
hair blown out?
341
00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:43,586
Oh, babe, sorry, no time.
342
00:14:45,955 --> 00:14:47,956
Come here.
343
00:14:51,294 --> 00:14:53,861
- There you go.
- Thanks.
344
00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:54,996
Call me.
345
00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:56,363
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
346
00:14:56,398 --> 00:14:59,399
[Silently]
I love you.
347
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,042
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
348
00:15:08,076 --> 00:15:10,314
- I asked you first.
- I was here first.
349
00:15:12,348 --> 00:15:15,351
It seems that we
are at a stalemate.
350
00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:20,657
Well, clearly we're all here
for the same reason.
351
00:15:20,692 --> 00:15:22,093
We're all thinking
about moving out.
352
00:15:22,127 --> 00:15:24,194
Yes, and obviously we
all saw the advertisement
353
00:15:24,229 --> 00:15:25,595
for this apartment
at the salon.
354
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:28,098
No, I found it
a different way.
355
00:15:28,132 --> 00:15:29,299
You followed us?
356
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:30,903
That is my way.
357
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:37,939
Fine, we're all here to find
an apartment of our own
358
00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:39,941
so let's just look
at it on our own.
359
00:15:39,976 --> 00:15:41,976
- Fine.
- Fine.
360
00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:50,919
This place is sad.
361
00:15:50,954 --> 00:15:52,087
Really sad.
362
00:15:52,122 --> 00:15:55,124
This place is where sad comes
to hang itself.
363
00:15:57,461 --> 00:16:01,332
Maybe...I'm just sad because
I really hate it when we fight.
364
00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:05,002
- Me too.
- Oh, me too.
365
00:16:05,036 --> 00:16:06,937
Let's not beat ourselves up.
366
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,739
I mean, we've been living
together for three years.
367
00:16:08,773 --> 00:16:09,907
We were due.
368
00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,375
And it's not
the end of the world
369
00:16:11,409 --> 00:16:12,876
that we wanna
find our own place.
370
00:16:12,910 --> 00:16:14,111
I mean, we are adults.
371
00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:16,446
Exactly. We all had our own
places in L.A.
372
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,516
Mm-hmm, and we can still
hang out like we did in L.A.
373
00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:21,818
And have sleepovers
like we did in L.A.
374
00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:23,720
And then the next morning,
talk about how fun
375
00:16:23,754 --> 00:16:26,624
it would be to someday
all live together.
376
00:16:28,659 --> 00:16:31,661
Like we do now.
377
00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:33,530
We're actually
living our dream.
378
00:16:33,564 --> 00:16:35,866
And to think we were
about to throw it away
379
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,234
over a bunch of nonsense.
380
00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:40,505
It may be weird that women
our age live together,
381
00:16:40,539 --> 00:16:42,574
- but I really like it.
- Me too.
382
00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:43,708
Me too.
383
00:16:43,743 --> 00:16:45,143
Okay, then let's just
go home
384
00:16:45,177 --> 00:16:46,978
and pretend none of this
ever happened.
385
00:16:47,012 --> 00:16:48,412
But we still have
a mess to clean up
386
00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:50,313
and Elka's still mad at us
for getting Pierre fired.
387
00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:51,882
Who's Pierre?
388
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:54,018
Your agent called.
389
00:16:55,853 --> 00:16:57,687
Pierre is the guy
we got fired.
390
00:16:57,721 --> 00:16:59,222
And we have to get him
his job back.
391
00:16:59,256 --> 00:17:02,191
Christopher will never take
him back, he's too outdated.
392
00:17:02,226 --> 00:17:04,160
So let's give him
a makeover.
393
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:07,430
I look ridiculous.
394
00:17:07,464 --> 00:17:09,498
Without my neckerchief
and my white bucks,
395
00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:12,535
I feel a little... gay.
396
00:17:15,105 --> 00:17:20,009
You are two scoops of yummy
with a side of ka-pow!
397
00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:21,910
Oh. Hello, Pierre.
398
00:17:21,945 --> 00:17:23,078
Pierre!
399
00:17:23,112 --> 00:17:25,114
You told me he was dead.
400
00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:30,184
And to think
I slept with you.
401
00:17:34,123 --> 00:17:36,458
She'll be back.
402
00:17:36,492 --> 00:17:38,627
What the hell
is going on here?
403
00:17:38,661 --> 00:17:40,963
All right, I poached
some of your clients.
404
00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:43,565
I thought I could run
the salon without you,
405
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,237
but then I realized that most
of our business is older ladies.
406
00:17:48,271 --> 00:17:49,238
No offense.
407
00:17:49,272 --> 00:17:52,774
All: Why would I be offended?
408
00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:54,543
It turns out,
in this economy,
409
00:17:54,577 --> 00:17:57,412
no one wants to pay
$300 for a blow dry.
410
00:17:57,447 --> 00:18:00,251
In fact, these three idiots
are the only ones that did.
411
00:18:02,285 --> 00:18:03,786
Your hair doesn't look done.
412
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:06,756
Shh! Let him talk.
413
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,991
So, uh, you want me back.
414
00:18:09,026 --> 00:18:10,595
Yes, dad.
415
00:18:12,329 --> 00:18:13,596
Dad?
416
00:18:13,631 --> 00:18:15,732
I have so many questions...
417
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:18,068
That I won't ask.
418
00:18:18,103 --> 00:18:19,603
But no more scented candles.
419
00:18:19,638 --> 00:18:21,072
And then no more yelling
at the customers.
420
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,173
Then no more Abba.
421
00:18:22,207 --> 00:18:24,208
And if you get to date
the customers,
422
00:18:24,242 --> 00:18:25,509
so do I.
423
00:18:25,544 --> 00:18:27,545
Then be my guest.
424
00:18:27,579 --> 00:18:30,147
How about it, sweet cheeks?
425
00:18:30,181 --> 00:18:31,315
Wanna hit the town?
426
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,618
You're interested in me?
427
00:18:33,652 --> 00:18:36,120
Haven't you noticed
that I've been hitting on you
428
00:18:36,154 --> 00:18:38,522
relentlessly for
the past 20 years?
429
00:18:38,556 --> 00:18:40,824
But we all thought
that you were...
430
00:18:40,859 --> 00:18:42,593
An insatiable ladies' man?
431
00:18:42,627 --> 00:18:44,131
I get that all the time.
432
00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:49,301
I assure you,
I'm a one-woman guy.
433
00:18:49,335 --> 00:18:54,107
Well, how could I possibly
say no?
434
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,811
Sweet Barbra Streisand.
435
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,883
I can't wait to get
my hands on those buns!
436
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,519
Hurry up!
437
00:19:04,553 --> 00:19:05,921
It's okay.
438
00:19:07,056 --> 00:19:08,757
He's not gay.
439
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:14,082
To everything going back
to just the way it was.
440
00:19:14,317 --> 00:19:15,417
Yes, and, Elka,
thank you
441
00:19:15,451 --> 00:19:17,085
for this beautiful
bottle of champagne.
442
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,922
Actually, I bought
it for myself.
443
00:19:20,956 --> 00:19:23,958
To celebrate
you guys moving out.
444
00:19:27,062 --> 00:19:29,263
Well, at least you
got a new boyfriend.
445
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,331
Hold it down.
446
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:34,569
He's asleep upstairs.
447
00:19:34,603 --> 00:19:36,805
Wait, Pierre's asleep in one
of our rooms?
448
00:19:36,839 --> 00:19:39,875
We goldilocks-ed your place.
449
00:19:39,909 --> 00:19:44,313
Joy's bed was just right.
450
00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,218
[Doorbell rings]
451
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:51,520
I'll get it.
452
00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:54,223
On my way out
to buy a new mattress.
453
00:19:58,161 --> 00:19:59,694
Oh, my God.
454
00:19:59,729 --> 00:20:01,629
Oh, my God.
455
00:20:01,664 --> 00:20:03,598
Oh, my God.
456
00:20:03,632 --> 00:20:06,401
Sacre bleu!
457
00:20:06,436 --> 00:20:07,903
Pierre's teaching me French.
458
00:20:07,937 --> 00:20:10,639
[Baby coos]
459
00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:14,577
Do people still leave babies
on doorsteps?
460
00:20:14,611 --> 00:20:16,479
Does it matter
if it's a done thing?
461
00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:17,647
It's been done.
462
00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:19,782
Well, what are we gonna do?
463
00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:22,351
Good question, Melanie.
464
00:20:22,386 --> 00:20:24,154
Good question.
465
00:20:26,589 --> 00:20:29,589
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466
00:20:29,639 --> 00:20:34,189
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