All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s01e14 Oil for the Lamps of Hogan.eng

CBS presents this program
in color.

( theme song playing )

Honor guard, Achtung!

Who could that be?

Somebody important, maybe?

General Burkhalter,
welcome to Stalag l3.

Colonel Klink,

this is Herr Fritz Bowman,

I.G. Bowman Industries.

Herr Bowman,
my pleasure, sir.

He's got a beautiful fur collar.

And I've got a sudden
attack of curiosity.

LeBeau, take listening
post number three.

See what you can find
out about that kraut.

Right, Colonel.

Uh, be careful.

The collar may
still be alive.

All right, Newkirk,
get the lead out.

You're dogging it, boy.

Oh, look at that, Carter.

We got a new boss, we have.

Yeah? Well,
Kinch is right.

You're
goofing off.

When I want your opinion,
I'll ask for it, Yank.

Get your hands
off him.

Stop it. I'll report you
to the Sergeant.

( all talking at once )

( all talking at once )

Oh, oh, ex...
Hey, excuse me.

I lost me head.
I'm sorry.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't have done that
for the world.

( Schultz speaking German )

( speaking German )

Fighting when
there is a war on?

This is not nice.

I'm sorry, Schultz.
It was my fault. I-I...

No, it really
was my fault.

No it wasn't.
It was my fault.

No, I did it.
It was my fault.

( all talking )
Quiet!

One, two, three.

The count is right.

Look at Schultz.

He can count up to three.
He's brilliant.

Night school paying
off, huh, Schultz?

Night school
paying off.

Ha. Jolly jokers.

Raus...

Right face.

And forward march.

Uh, one, two, three, four.

Uh, one, uh, two,
uh, three, uh, four.

Have to be tough
with them,

otherwise they do
not respect you.

Yes, sir.

( shouts in German )

Dismissed.

Fraulein Helga,
we do not wish to be disturbed.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Nice to see you again, my dear.

Thank you, sir.

Gentlemen, may I offer
some refreshment?

Now let us get down to business.

Of course.
Refreshments can wait.

First, our mission
is top secret.

We must have absolute security.

Herr General, you
can depend on that.

The security at Stalag 13

is absolutely airtight.

BOWMAN:
That's most reassuring.

Thank you, Herr Bowman.

We are on our toes here
at Stalag l3.

General Burkhalter will tell you
that...

Here is the problem.

He'll tell you later.

Our industrial plants have been
taking a terrible beating

from allied bombing attacks.

The Fuhrer is very concerned.

So he turned the problem
over to me.

I have developed an idea.

Brilliant.

I haven't told you
what it is yet.

I.G. Bowman Industries was going

to build a new synthetic
fuel plant at Velthuysen.

It almost certainly
will be bombed.

I think that's a
fair assumption.

Yes, that's
a fair assump... tion.

But there is one place
the Allies will not bomb.

A prisoner of war camp.

So why not put the plant
right here?

Leave the buildings as they are
and build a new Stalag 13.

KLINK:
With all due respect, Herr General,

I cannot believe

that would fool
the allied bombers.

Colonel, I said it was my idea.

They'll never
find it, sir.

As soon as Stalag 13 is ready,
we will move your prisoners

to any of the other Luft Stalags
temporarily.

Yes, sir.

So, how soon will you be ready
with your command?

I can have that
information for you

as soon as possible,
Herr General.

Fine. Herr Bowman and I will be
here for a few days,

look over the grounds
and discuss plans.

Of course, sir.

May I show you to my
quarters personally?

Oh, you will
like it here

at Stalag 13,
Herr Bowman.

Friendly, just
the right touch of hostility

that has made
us famous.

You know, when I
took over command...

BURKHALTER:
Klink.

Coming, Herr General.

Quick, a glass of wine.

I'm fainting.

Snap out of
it, Louis.

Make it burgundy.
'33 was a good year.

You know what?

I bet he's got
claustrophobia.

Now you tell me?

Moving us?

You're sure about it?

Oui, mon Colonel.

As soon as
possible, they said.

It means
we're finished.

And out of
business, kaput.

Well, we can't move.

The guys just started
digging another tunnel.

Another one?

Well, this one goes

on top of the others.

We needed an overpass.

Well, tell them to forget it.

If we don't come up
with something,

everything goes-- tunnels,
radio, contacts in town.

Even LeBeau's mushrooms
under the Rec Hall.

Never. I'll kill first.

NEWKIRK:
I suppose when we get to the new Stalag,

we might get organized again.

Well, I could carry a
few radio parts along.

How do you carry a tunnel?

Uh, c'est fini.

It's terrible.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
hold it.

You guys throw
in the towel awful fast.

There must be a way
to keep them

from building
that refinery here.

How?
I don't know.

We'll stall for time

and come up with something.

Kinch, get a message off
to London,

tell them what's happening.

We may need some help...

Colonel Hogan?
Shh!

Shh.

( whispering ):
Colonel Klink wants to see you

in his office, right away.

Fine, Schultz.

Why am I whispering?

You really
want to know?

I don't want to know nothing...

What does Klink want?

I don't know, but this may be
our chance to buy some time.

Carter, get me the picture
of Klink off the wall

of the delousing station.

CARTER:
Okay.

I'm going to try
to reach our Kommandant

through his heart,
if I can find it.

You sent for me, Colonel?

KLINK:
Yes, Hogan. Sit down, sit down.

All right.

I have some important news
for you.

The entire personnel
of Stalag 13,

prisoners and guards...

Are about to be moved?
That's it.

How did you know?

Just an educated guess.

That kraut, or German
that came in this morning,

uh, looked like a
real estate dealer.

Does the General know
you're selling the camp?

Insolence.

We are being moved to another
Luft Stalag temporarily

while a new and modern Stalag 13
is being built.

I can hardly wait.

Hogan, I warn you,
any attempt at escape

during this transfer
will be severely punished.

You don't have to worry
on that score, sir.

Good.

We'll try.

Now, you've been warned.

I expect you and your men
to be ready for this move

within three days.

Impossible.

That word does not exist
in my vocabulary.

Oh, come on,
moving isn't easy.

There's a lot
to be done--

packing, writing
letters,

having the phone
turned off.

I am not interested
in your problems.

Three days, ready or not.

Dismissed.

Uh, sir, I have a request.

Would you autograph
this picture for the boys?

Me autograph a picture for them?

Oh, nothing elaborate.

Just a greeting,
maybe, uh,

"Good luck to the gang
from the Iron Colonel."

The Iron Colonel?

The Iron Colonel.

I must say I'm rather surprised.

Well, we've had our
differences, but

heck, there
have been a lot

of tunnels going
under the wire

since we've been
at Stalag 13.

And besides, it's something

to remember you by.

Sometimes you find sentiment
in the strangest places.

You can say that again.

Wait.

Something to remember me by?

I'm not going anywhere.

Am I?

Sure you are.

Back into combat,
you lucky dog.

Combat?

This move is
General Burkhalter's idea.

He is a General
of the Third Reich,

the Fuhrer's right hand man.

Are you suggesting
that he is a liar?

How do you
think he got

to be the Fuhrer's
right hand man?

No. It can't be.

Did he tell you anything
about the new Stalag 13,

or anything about
the transit camp,

or anything
really important?

Now that you mention it, no.

Why is he doing this?

Oh, it's a quiet way

to disperse the POWs
to other camps.

I've seen it done before.

Yeah, but it won't
be so bad for you.

It won't?

Oh, you're going

to be flying again.

The German Eagle back up

in the wild blue yonder,

screaming down to drop
your eggs in the snow.

Snow?

Well, I mean,
let's face it.

Moscow isn't exactly
the French Riviera.

But I am not qualified
to fly these new planes.

Ah, you'll pick it
up easy enough,

and if you don't,
they'll pick you up.

( laughs )

Sorry, that's bad taste.

Break up Stalag 13?

I don't believe it.

HELGA:
Herr Kommandant,

the General's here
to see you, sir.

At ease, gentlemen.

You have told
Hogan the news?

We were just discussing it, sir.

Never mind
the discussion.

I want action.

How soon will
you be ready?

Oh, we were just trying
to determine that, sir.

I'd like more information
about this new Stalag 13.

You will find
out soon enough.

I want to know which Luft Stalag

we're going
to be sent to temporarily.

That has not
been determined.

Will my men be protected

from the civilian population
during the move?

Security is none
of your affair.

What is this?

I walk in here,

and the prisoner of war
begins to question me?

No offense, Herr General.

I want the estimate
of your moving time

as quickly as possible,

or there will
be an offense...

against you.

( door closing )

You believe it now?

Ducked every question.

When I pressed him,
he pulled rank.

Yes, yes.

What is to be done?

Well, if I were you, I'd
stall as much as you can.

Burkhalter may
change his mind,

or it could be
changed for him.

You don't know him.
He is a mountain.

That's true.
He ought to cut down on starches.

The German Eagle,

dropping my eggs in the snow.

It's-It's terrible.

Well, that's the way
the big war bounces.

HOGAN:
Hi, Schultz.

Hi, Colonel.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute!

What are you
doing in there?

Just putting back
an empty oil drum, Schultz.

You know what they say:
a neat Stalag's a happy Stalag.

No one is allowed
in there

without the orders
of the commandant.

You don't
understand, Schultz.

We're putting back,
not taking out.

Do you want me
to be in trouble?

Heaven forbid.

Well, then take it out.

All right, Newkirk,
Kinch, bring it back out.

Here we go.

That's better.

Please, Colonel Hogan,
do not go in here again.

Of course not-- uh, uh,
by the way, Schultz,

I won't say anything
if you don't.

I saw nothing. Nothing.

Hey, Schultz!

( shrieks )

Guten abend, Schultz.

What gives?

What are you
trying to do?

We're escaping, buddy.
We dug our way out.

We're taking a scarper.

Back into the... before
someone catches you.

Come on, Schultz,
sound the alarm.

You're all going to get us
into trouble.

You've caught us.
Take us to your leader.

Please... don't tell me
my business.

ALL:
Kommandant! Kommandant! Kommandant!

( alarm ringing )

Sound the alarm!

So, you tried to dig
your way out,

and you came up under
the water tower.

Boy, did we ever make
a wrong turn.

It's a wildcat operation, sir.

The Escape Committee knew
nothing about it.

I am not interested
in your Escape Committee.

How do you know-- you've never
been to any meetings.

( chuckles )

You think it's funny, huh?

Well, you have plenty of chances
to laugh... in the cooler!

Schultz.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

30 days in solitary.

Sentence to begin the moment

General Burkhalter leaves
Stalag 13.

Schultz didn't do anything.

Not him, them.

It will be done,
Herr Kommandant.

Now, get them
out of my sight.

Prisoners, left face.

Wait, wait, wait, wait...

What is that dirt on your faces?

Nothing, Colonel.
Just a little shoe polish.

We didn't want to shine
in the moonlight.

Yeah, you know,
like the commandos in the movies.

There is no moon tonight.

Nobody ever tells us
anything.

Schultz, get 'em
out of here.

Just a minute, Hogan.

Raise your hand.

( sniffs )

That is oil.

Sure, there's lots of it
down there.

Carter.

Sorry, Colonel.

Idiot.

Him and his ruddy
big mouth.

Go on, tell me more.

Might as well.
You blew it anyway.

There's so much oil
down there

that you can't even dig
a decent tunnel.

That's why we got caught
tonight.

It was either that
or drown in that stuff.

Why, the other day,
we were down there,

and there was so much oil...

Carter.

Thank you, gentlemen.

I shall give the matter
some further thought.

Schultz, take them away.
Hogan, you will remain.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
Forverts, march.

A one, a two,
a three, a four,

a one, a two,
a three, a four...

It's probably just a
broken pipeline that runs under the camp.

Hogan, do you want me
to go out there

and start digging myself?

Okay, you know
most of it anyway.

Tell me, Hogan,
is this really oil?

Not just oil,
Commandant, black gold.

Stalag 13 is located
right over a sea

of high-grade
pure crude money.

( whimpers )

When did you discover this?

Well...

remember about, uh,
six months ago,

there was
an American lieutenant,

an engineer who was captured
and brought here?

He found it?

Yeah, just before he was
transferred to Stalag 9.

Besides being an engineer,
he was also a geologist.

Confirmed by an expert?

You bet he is.

You have been sitting on this
for six months?

Like a mother hen.

You see, I figured
that after the war,

prisoner camps would
be selling for about, oh, ten cents apiece.

I'd come back and
buy Stalag 13, sink a few wells and...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes?

There'd be dancing
in the streets.

Just call me
Diamond Jim Hogan.

You are a greedy,
selfish person.

I do my best.

You'd keep it all
to yourself?

There's enough oil
down there to make ten millionaires.

There is?

( clears throat )

Let us, uh, build
on that thought for a moment.

What do you got in
mind, Commandant?

After the war,
a sign on the gate,

and instead of Stalag 13,

it reads, "The Klink
and Hogan Oil Company."

So, your name comes first,
Wilhelm?

Wilhelm?

Aren't we being
a little familiar, Hogan?

I think partners should be.

Oh, you don't know
what this means to me.

After the war,
I won't just have

a 500-year-old
aristocratic name,

but for the first time,
some money to go with it.

I will be impossible.

You're doing all right now.

Look, I hate to shoot you down
right over the target,

but we have a problem.

What?

They go ahead and build
on this site,

they're bound to find out
about the oil, and we're dead.

What can we do?

We should change the name
on the front gate

to read, "The Burkhalter,
Klink, Hogan Oil Company."

Who needs Burkhalter?

We do. He's got the power
to leave Stalag 13

and our oil just the way it is.

Give him a piece of the pie?

Or there won't be any.

I've got to
get some sleep.

Good night, Colonel.

Good night, Lucky.

Oil field?

An oil field, you say?

I saw it myself.

Herr General, as we
are talking here,

there is a sea
of oil beneath us bubbling, bubbling,

trying to come to
the surface and turn into money.

Klink, you're making
a spectacle of yourself.

Forgive me, Herr General.

It's the excitement
of the money.

I mean, the moment.

The question is whether
to drill for it now

or later, much later.

You mean, like, after the war?

Uh, that kind of later?

The war effort of
the Third Reich

is being geared to the
use of synthetic fuel.

An important oil discovery
right now

could easily upset
the entire economy.

That is brilliant, Herr General,
absolutely brilliant.

I had a feeling
you'd agree.

But what about Herr Bowman
and the new plans?

I'll have a talk
with him tomorrow.

I don't think he's
going to be too hard to handle.

Oh, not for you,
Herr General.

The three of us are going
to make a winning combination.

The three of us?
Oh, yes.

The "Burkhalter, Klink,
Hogan Oil Company."

Hogan? Who needs Hogan?

Well, he's the one who...

Go to bed, Klink,

before you give away any
more shares of my company.

I'm sorry I cannot agree
with you, General.

It is an ideal location
for the plant.

The railroad
is three miles away.

BOWMAN:
Simple enough to have some track laid.

There is no airport.

So we can build one
in a week.

I want to remind you,
Herr Bowman,

that I represent the Fuhrer
in this project,

and if I make a decision,
it is final.

Of course...
that is truly patriotic

and for the good of Germany.

General, I respect your position
and your frankness,

and I have a suggestion

that can easily resolve
our differences.

Yes?

We will each submit our proposal
to the Fuhrer...

...and let him decide.

I may have been
a bit hasty.

Perhaps if we look over
the grounds once more.

I'll try to keep
an open mind.

Of course, General.

There is something
I would like Herr Bowman to see

that would certainly show
him... Fraulein Helga.

Yes, Herr Kommandant.

Will you please tell
Schultz to get Hogan over here right away?

Bowman is holding out.

He wants the
plant built here.

Well, that's it, then.
We've had it.

Yeah, we're through.

And it looks like we're out
of the escape business.

Now, there's one
more thing we can do.

Kinch, take this
message, get it off to London.

Right. Shoot.

Colonel Hogan, Stalag
13, Headquarters London.

Request fake
bombing mission tomorrow 1500 hours.

Repeat, no bombs.
Require leaflets.

Carter.
Yes, sir.

Tonight, you and Newkirk
plant some dynamite charges in the compound.

Wire 'em up so we
can set 'em off when we're ready.

All right,
Colonel. Okay.

Uh, Colonel, what do you want
Headquarters to print on these leaflets?

Let me see, uh... To
Whom It May Concern...

Colonel Hogan.

I hope Burkhalter's
making headway with him.

Well, we don't have to worry
about our senior partner.

He's one of the great
con artists of all time.

If he doesn't convince
Bowman, we are through.

I wouldn't say that.

I told you
it was a bad idea.

Take cover.

I told you
this was a bad idea.

Colonel, I think
we've struck oil.

Schultz!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant?

Get the prisoners
back into the barracks.

Who, me?

Yes, you.

Prisoners,
back into the barracks!

"To Whom It May Concern...

"Today is a sample
of what you will get

if you build a plant at
Stalag 13. Good luck."

BURKHALTER:
Our security has been broken.

Bowman, this finishes any plans
for building here.

Of course, but how
did they find out?

I haven't the slightest
idea, but we can...

Wait a minute. Hogan...

Hogan?
Hogan?

Don't look at me.
I only work here.

It is incredible,
Colonel Hogan,

you deliberately
poured oil in...

into that hole
to fool me.

And there is the evidence.

Also to save you... sir.

What?

If they had gone ahead
with their plans to build,

by now you'd be on
the eastern front.

Perhaps.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

General Burkhalter
still thinks

that there is oil
under this can.

And he won't do
a thing about it till after the war.

It's obvious the way
things are going, you're going to lose,

so Burkhalter goes
back into the woodwork.

Of course.

Wait.

Suppose we should win?

Impossible.

Why?

How do you expect to win
a war without oil?

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