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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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[Music]
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Hey, girls. Whatcha you doing?
4
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Oh we're making a list
of all the fun things
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00:00:10,984 --> 00:00:13,239
we want to do together
before we go to college.
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Kind of like a bucket list except
instead of dying, we're graduating.
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Oh okay. Well, what do you have so far?
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The word "list".
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I came up with that.
10
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I have the perfect idea for you girls.
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00:00:27,121 --> 00:00:29,489
How about you take a
ride in a hot-air balloon?
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00:00:29,490 --> 00:00:31,973
Ooh, that sounds good.
13
00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:32,956
Yup.
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00:00:32,957 --> 00:00:34,896
Then again, I am afraid of heights.
15
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And I'm not crazy about balloons.
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Okay, how about watching the
sunrise from the top of Pike's Peak.
17
00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:46,113
Oh, I've always wanted to do that.
18
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:47,972
Of course we'd have
to get up pretty early.
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00:00:47,973 --> 00:00:51,015
And I bet it's cold up there.
20
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:52,804
0 for 2, ma.
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Okay, why don't you two
come up with something?
22
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Road trip.
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[Excited] Road trip.
24
00:00:59,821 --> 00:01:01,739
That's sounds like fun.
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Done.
26
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- Take a break?
- Take a break.
27
00:01:06,361 --> 00:01:08,977
[Rock music playing]
28
00:01:08,978 --> 00:01:12,114
Today's all burnt toast
running late and dad jokes.
29
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"Has anybody seen my left shoe?"
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I close my eyes, take a bite
grab a ride, laugh out loud.
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There it is up on the roof.
32
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I've been there, I survived.
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So just take my advice.
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Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
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But I know your future's bright.
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00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:38,547
Hang in there,
baby, there's no maybe.
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Everything turns out all right.
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Sure life is up and down.
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But trust me, it comes back around.
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You're gonna love
who you turn out to be.
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Hang in there, baby.
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[Music]
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[Doorbell rings]
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00:02:08,042 --> 00:02:09,979
Hey, neighbors.
45
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:11,589
To what do we owe the honor?
46
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We came over because we
have some exciting news.
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Yeah, we're getting married.
48
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Didn't you two just start dating?
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At our age, you don't waste time.
50
00:02:23,027 --> 00:02:27,964
Wow, well, congratulations
and, you know, many happy years.
51
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:30,455
Yeah, hold on.
52
00:02:30,456 --> 00:02:32,133
- Hey, listen, R.J.
- P.J.
53
00:02:32,134 --> 00:02:34,107
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
54
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I want you to be my best man.
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Me? Why me?
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00:02:38,709 --> 00:02:42,422
Well, because you're
my closest friend...
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You know, who's living.
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Oh.
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Yeah, as you are mine...
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00:02:49,683 --> 00:02:53,334
Should something terrible
happen to all my friends.
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00:02:53,335 --> 00:02:56,859
And, Bob, we'd love it if you
would perform the ceremony.
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00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,660
Me?
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00:02:59,432 --> 00:03:02,274
You can be certified online.
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00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:03,733
I looked into it.
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00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:04,806
Yeah...
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00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:10,166
We figured you'd be the right choice since
we're having the wedding in your house.
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00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:11,783
Excuse me?
68
00:03:11,784 --> 00:03:14,294
We wanted to have a destination wedding.
69
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,107
Yeah, so we thought
"across the street"...
70
00:03:17,108 --> 00:03:20,528
Is the perfect destination.
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00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:22,110
So what do you say?
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00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:23,786
- Eh, well...
- Thanks.
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00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,667
That means an awful lot to us.
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00:03:26,668 --> 00:03:29,068
Thanks, Bob.
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00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:35,613
What just happened here?
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00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:37,443
I'm not sure.
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We got to stop answering that door.
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00:03:44,986 --> 00:03:46,668
Hey, Charlie.
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00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,398
- Have you seen Mom?
- No.
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Good.
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00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,489
Ah!
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00:03:54,677 --> 00:03:57,317
I see her now.
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00:04:00,654 --> 00:04:02,063
Hey, Mom.
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00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:03,591
What's all this?
85
00:04:03,592 --> 00:04:06,846
Oh, um, I'm going to
go play catch with Jake.
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00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:07,914
In a uniform?
87
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:11,635
We take catch pretty seriously.
88
00:04:11,844 --> 00:04:14,325
Are you playing baseball behind my back?
89
00:04:14,326 --> 00:04:15,919
Not anymore.
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00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,579
Why would you do that?
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00:04:17,580 --> 00:04:19,500
Because, Mom, every
time you watch me play,
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00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:22,255
you yell, you scream, and
get totally out of control.
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00:04:22,256 --> 00:04:23,897
That doesn't sound like me.
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00:04:23,898 --> 00:04:26,418
Yes, it does.
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00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:29,002
I can't believe you're
playing secret baseball.
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00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:33,143
It's only a secret to you. See ya.
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00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:39,045
Charlie, honey, you'd never play
a sport behind my back, would you?
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00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,286
- No, Mommy.
- That's my girl.
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00:04:42,287 --> 00:04:44,410
Hey, Charlie, you ready
for T-ball practice?
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Hey!
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00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,733
[Doorbell rings]
102
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,132
Hey, Ivy, what's up?
103
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,799
So my dad, he just bought this new R.V.
104
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,205
Would you mind checking it out,
make a big deal about how cool it is?
105
00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:08,866
It would really make his day.
106
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,129
- T?
- Sorry.
107
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:17,030
I was just remembering something my
dad said about not answering the door.
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00:05:19,465 --> 00:05:21,394
Welcome aboard, Teddy.
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00:05:21,395 --> 00:05:24,400
I'm Captain Harry and
the pilot of this vessel.
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00:05:24,401 --> 00:05:26,092
I believe you know my copilot.
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Ahoy, Teddy.
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00:05:28,864 --> 00:05:30,659
Oh, wow, Mr. Wentz.
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This is fantastic.
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00:05:33,285 --> 00:05:37,397
You know, it's a home that has a motor.
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00:05:37,398 --> 00:05:40,477
And it's recreational...
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But it's also a vehicle.
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And ain't she a beauty?
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Ivy, give Teddy the tour.
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Sure.
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00:05:49,627 --> 00:05:51,009
Ivy: All right.
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00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:54,632
This is the kitchen,
dining room, living room...
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00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:57,741
You should check out
how comfy the seats are.
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00:05:57,742 --> 00:06:01,762
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- [Seatbelt clicks]
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00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,067
Okay, dad. Let's go.
125
00:06:04,068 --> 00:06:04,999
[Engine starts]
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00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,326
What's going on?
127
00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:09,102
Remember the road
trip we wanted to take?
128
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,623
We're on it!
129
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:20,815
Okay, boys, your dad is about
to become a wedding officiant.
130
00:06:20,816 --> 00:06:24,237
Okay, I hope this isn't too complicated.
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00:06:24,238 --> 00:06:26,878
"Name". [Typing]
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00:06:26,998 --> 00:06:29,638
"Email address".
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00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:31,657
"Ordain me".
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00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:34,058
[Harps play]
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00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,324
[Doorbell rings]
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00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:37,247
- I'll get it, dad.
- Hey!
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00:06:37,248 --> 00:06:39,708
Reverend Bob.
138
00:06:42,561 --> 00:06:46,791
Hey, we're here for the bachelor party.
139
00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:48,505
What bachelor party?
140
00:06:48,506 --> 00:06:49,946
The one you're throwing.
141
00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:53,517
You're my best man.
It's part of the job.
142
00:06:53,518 --> 00:06:56,149
Okay, well, come on in.
143
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,250
This is Arnie.
144
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,575
We work together at The Post Office.
145
00:06:59,576 --> 00:07:03,946
[Heavy accent] I was
told there would be food.
146
00:07:03,947 --> 00:07:06,016
Okay, well, uh...
147
00:07:06,017 --> 00:07:10,997
You guys go on downstairs and
I'll put something together.
148
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,518
Hey, come on, Bob.
149
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:15,383
- Me?
- Yeah. Four's a party.
150
00:07:15,384 --> 00:07:18,204
Three's just sad.
151
00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:23,478
Four can be sad, too.
152
00:07:28,983 --> 00:07:31,217
You ever think my parents
might wonder where I am?
153
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,152
They know exactly where you are.
154
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,648
Your Mom even packed your bag.
155
00:07:36,649 --> 00:07:42,228
You know what? I'm making a new
list, and you and my Mom are on it.
156
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,976
Come on, T, it's gonna be fun.
157
00:07:45,977 --> 00:07:47,834
Where are we going, anyway?
158
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,970
Las Vegas.
159
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:52,576
Oh, I love Vegas!
160
00:07:52,577 --> 00:07:56,833
Hey, Mr. Wentz, how long
until we get to Las Vegas?
161
00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,211
Oh, hard to say.
162
00:07:58,212 --> 00:08:02,181
Depends on how much time we
spend at the mystery stop.
163
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,217
We're making a mystery stop?
164
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,987
Oh, I love Harry's mystery stops.
165
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:11,090
Sometimes they're better
than the final destination.
166
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,352
Ooh, I just got tingly!
167
00:08:13,353 --> 00:08:16,435
Did you girls get tingly?
168
00:08:16,436 --> 00:08:18,599
We might as well get comfortable.
169
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,680
She's gonna be tingly for a while.
170
00:08:28,492 --> 00:08:30,712
Hey, Mom.
171
00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:33,315
Hello, Gabriel.
172
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,410
How was your baseball game?
173
00:08:36,411 --> 00:08:39,052
It was great. We won
4-1 and I had two hits.
174
00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:44,179
Huh, that sounds like something
a parent might enjoy seeing.
175
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:46,026
Mom, how long is this gonna go on?
176
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,862
How long is baseball season?
177
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:53,700
Look, okay, I admit that in the
past, I may have gotten a little...
178
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,550
Animated.
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00:08:55,551 --> 00:08:57,136
But a person can change.
180
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,941
Yeah, sure, a person can
change, but what about you?
181
00:09:00,942 --> 00:09:03,634
Look, if you let me go
to your game I promise,
182
00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:06,227
that I will be so quiet you
won't even know that I'm there.
183
00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:06,937
[Sighs]
184
00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:08,701
What do you think,
Toby? Should I trust her?
185
00:09:08,702 --> 00:09:10,502
No.
186
00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:14,735
Don't listen to him. He's one.
187
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:18,336
And yet he's probably right.
188
00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:31,471
So...
189
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:35,426
We've played Pinochle.
190
00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:40,408
Now what do you guys want to do?
191
00:09:40,409 --> 00:09:43,589
You tell us, best man.
192
00:09:45,757 --> 00:09:49,390
[Loudly whispers] He should
have planned more activities.
193
00:09:49,391 --> 00:09:52,631
He's dropping the ball.
194
00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:58,952
Just so you know, old guy whispering
is just like young guy talking.
195
00:09:59,259 --> 00:10:04,097
[Loudly whispers] Your
best man has a lot of tude.
196
00:10:04,098 --> 00:10:06,810
Well, I better get upstairs
and make some more sandwiches.
197
00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:08,269
Uh, you need some help with that?
198
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:12,530
No, you come up with your own excuse.
199
00:10:15,921 --> 00:10:18,141
So you...
200
00:10:19,045 --> 00:10:21,807
You guys were postal workers, huh?
201
00:10:21,808 --> 00:10:24,208
Exterminator.
202
00:10:26,154 --> 00:10:31,194
[Loudly whispers] He's
more boring than the son.
203
00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:39,504
[Reading] "Right lane ends".
204
00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,960
"Watch for falling rocks".
205
00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:45,088
Are you gonna read every road sign?
206
00:10:45,089 --> 00:10:49,651
This is how I keep my
sanity on these trips.
207
00:10:49,652 --> 00:10:51,992
"Exit 29B".
208
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,021
[Radio static]
209
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:55,455
This is Mama Bear
cruising down the highway
210
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:59,320
with a couple of cubbies and a
hubby-wubby on our way to a mystery stop.
211
00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:01,841
Come on back.
212
00:11:02,039 --> 00:11:04,977
This is Mama Bear.
Anybody have their ears on?
213
00:11:04,978 --> 00:11:08,018
[Distorted crackle, muffled speech]
214
00:11:08,019 --> 00:11:11,362
Sounds like we got a mud duck.
215
00:11:11,363 --> 00:11:15,028
Affirmative to that, hubby-wubby.
216
00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:17,137
That's C.B. lingo, Teddy.
217
00:11:17,138 --> 00:11:19,925
What I said was "sounds
like he's got a weak signal".
218
00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:23,946
And I responded "I agree, husband".
219
00:11:27,182 --> 00:11:30,002
"Speed limit; 70".
220
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,799
[Music]
221
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,605
You're not peeking,
now are you, Mary Lou?
222
00:11:39,606 --> 00:11:44,046
Oh no! I wouldn't spoil a mystery stop.
223
00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:45,660
All right.
224
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,731
Open your eyes.
225
00:11:47,732 --> 00:11:51,272
Welcome to the four corners.
226
00:11:51,993 --> 00:11:55,053
Four corners of what?
227
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:57,715
Ivy, this is the only
place in the whole country
228
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:01,762
where four states connect
at one single point.
229
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:05,457
Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico.
230
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,113
Oh, Harry!
231
00:12:07,114 --> 00:12:09,840
Oh, you've done it again!
232
00:12:09,841 --> 00:12:11,087
I know.
233
00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:15,808
It doesn't get much
more exciting than this.
234
00:12:15,809 --> 00:12:18,855
Ivy, could I talk to you for a second?
235
00:12:18,856 --> 00:12:23,836
Sure, which state would
you like to see me in?
236
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:29,963
Bob: Hey! How are the sandwiches coming?
237
00:12:29,964 --> 00:12:32,175
Couple more minutes.
238
00:12:32,176 --> 00:12:34,816
[Doorbell rings]
239
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:38,150
[Tv turns off]
240
00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:41,252
Hey, Mrs. Dobbs. What
are you doing here?
241
00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:43,449
- I have to talk to you.
- Is everything okay?
242
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:46,870
Oh, P.J., I have to
confess a terrible secret.
243
00:12:46,871 --> 00:12:49,169
You see, I was married before.
244
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:54,215
Well, that's not that much of a
secret since your name is "Mrs. Dobbs".
245
00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:56,350
- Let me finish.
- Mm hmm.
246
00:12:56,351 --> 00:13:00,851
My first husband did all the
cooking, so I never learned how.
247
00:13:00,852 --> 00:13:02,796
But Bert raves about your cooking.
248
00:13:02,797 --> 00:13:08,697
That's because I secretly order takeout,
and then serve it as if I made it myself.
249
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,131
Oh, hey, my Mom used to do that...
250
00:13:11,132 --> 00:13:13,817
Back when she still cared.
251
00:13:13,818 --> 00:13:17,660
I came over because I know
you're going to cooking school
252
00:13:17,661 --> 00:13:20,714
and I was hoping you could
teach me a few things.
253
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,716
Sure, I'd be glad to
give you a few lessons.
254
00:13:22,717 --> 00:13:25,097
I just hope Bert doesn't
see me come over here.
255
00:13:25,098 --> 00:13:26,887
Well, if he does... [snaps]
256
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:28,588
You just tell him...
257
00:13:28,589 --> 00:13:32,669
I'm teaching you how to tap dance.
258
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:35,310
Yeah.
259
00:13:35,311 --> 00:13:38,611
I'll think of something.
260
00:13:42,770 --> 00:13:44,106
Smile, Teddy!
261
00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:47,032
Mrs. Wentz, if you want me
to smile, you might want to,
262
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:51,347
stand in front of the
part of me that smiles.
263
00:13:51,348 --> 00:13:53,051
- [Shutters click]
- Got it.
264
00:13:53,052 --> 00:13:55,879
Oh, how's the weather
in Arizona, Mary Lou?
265
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,753
Well, it's sunny and... oh, Harry!
266
00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:01,794
Gotcha!
267
00:14:02,969 --> 00:14:05,729
Well, this was...
268
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:08,412
Can we get going now?
269
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:10,259
Right you are, Ivy.
270
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:14,534
Onto our final destination,
Las Vegas, New Mexico.
271
00:14:14,535 --> 00:14:16,937
Um, you mean Nevada.
272
00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:20,290
Oh, no, no, no, no. That Las
Vegas has been done to death.
273
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:22,843
We're going to Las Vegas, New Mexico.
274
00:14:22,844 --> 00:14:24,911
There's a Las Vegas, New Mexico?
275
00:14:24,912 --> 00:14:26,723
The original.
276
00:14:26,724 --> 00:14:32,624
Uh, I thought we were going to the one
with the spas, the pools and the shopping.
277
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,687
What's in Las Vegas, New Mexico?
278
00:14:34,688 --> 00:14:37,491
The rough-rider museum.
279
00:14:37,492 --> 00:14:40,972
The world's largest cactus.
280
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:43,663
Ivy, did you know about this?
281
00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:45,247
I don't recall.
282
00:14:45,248 --> 00:14:46,699
Really?
283
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,331
Because I'll tell you what I recall.
284
00:14:48,332 --> 00:14:50,860
First, you came up with
the idea for the road trip,
285
00:14:50,861 --> 00:14:55,688
then you lured me into the R.V., and then
you conveniently left out the crucial...
286
00:14:55,689 --> 00:15:00,391
"New Mexico" part about
Las Vegas, New Mexico.
287
00:15:00,392 --> 00:15:04,114
Ivy, you didn't tell Teddy
we were going to New Mexico?
288
00:15:04,115 --> 00:15:06,887
She didn't tell me we
were leaving the driveway.
289
00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:10,245
Harry, if Teddy doesn't want to
be on this trip, we should go home.
290
00:15:10,246 --> 00:15:12,926
What?! No Rough Riders?
291
00:15:12,927 --> 00:15:15,507
No big cactus?
292
00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:18,598
We can come back another time.
293
00:15:18,599 --> 00:15:21,239
Come on, honey.
294
00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:26,828
Dad, what are you doing?
295
00:15:26,829 --> 00:15:32,729
Seeing what it feels like to have
my heart broken in four states.
296
00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:36,549
[Applause]
297
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:37,993
[Deep calming breathes]
298
00:15:37,994 --> 00:15:39,847
Why you doing that?
299
00:15:39,848 --> 00:15:45,748
Because bases are loaded, and Gabe is
up to bat, and I promised I'd stay calm.
300
00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,114
- Strike one!
- What?!
301
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,986
Are you out of your...
302
00:15:49,987 --> 00:15:52,103
Zip code?
303
00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:57,084
Because if you are,
welcome to the neighborhood.
304
00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:01,473
Strike two!
305
00:16:04,846 --> 00:16:07,486
You stink, ump.
306
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:12,043
What? It was Charlie.
307
00:16:12,044 --> 00:16:14,382
I thought you weren't gonna
tell your Mom you were playing.
308
00:16:14,383 --> 00:16:18,076
Yeah, I gave it my best shot.
309
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,543
Strike three!
310
00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:21,728
What?! Are you kidding me?!
311
00:16:21,729 --> 00:16:23,796
On what planet is that
considered a strike?
312
00:16:23,797 --> 00:16:27,868
You are the sorriest excuse
for an ump I've ever seen!
313
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:29,326
You think you can do better?
314
00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:31,967
- Yeah.
- Fine.
315
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,823
I thought you changed.
316
00:16:37,824 --> 00:16:39,558
I did...
317
00:16:39,559 --> 00:16:42,559
Then I changed back.
318
00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:46,833
Thank you.
319
00:16:51,558 --> 00:16:53,471
Now this...
320
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:56,832
Is what we call a spoon.
321
00:16:57,303 --> 00:17:00,503
Say it with me now, "spoon".
322
00:17:00,504 --> 00:17:05,288
Can we speed this up?
The wedding's tomorrow.
323
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:07,333
Hey, what's going on here?
324
00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:09,036
A five, six, seven, eight.
325
00:17:09,037 --> 00:17:11,197
[Tapping]
326
00:17:14,494 --> 00:17:16,823
I came over to give
my best man the rings,
327
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:19,928
but it seems like there's
something going on here.
328
00:17:19,929 --> 00:17:23,771
Bert, there's something
I have to confess.
329
00:17:23,772 --> 00:17:25,427
I...
330
00:17:25,428 --> 00:17:27,118
I can't cook.
331
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,586
You've been lying to me all this time?
332
00:17:29,587 --> 00:17:30,973
I'm sorry.
333
00:17:30,974 --> 00:17:36,134
Well, sorry's not good
enough. The wedding's off.
334
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:38,104
This is awful.
335
00:17:38,105 --> 00:17:39,865
What am I going to do?
336
00:17:39,866 --> 00:17:43,928
- [Timer dings]
- Oh, I have an idea.
337
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:47,680
That was just the timer,
but I do have an idea.
338
00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:49,722
Bert, wait. Wait, Bert.
339
00:17:49,723 --> 00:17:52,139
- You're making a huge mistake.
- My mind's made up.
340
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:56,266
- She lied to me and I can't forgive that.
- Come on, everyone makes mistakes.
341
00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:58,219
Did she lie? Yes.
342
00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:00,127
Did that hurt the trust? Yes.
343
00:18:00,128 --> 00:18:02,296
Am I bad at these
kinds of speeches? Yes.
344
00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:03,629
But... but...
345
00:18:03,630 --> 00:18:08,409
But, Bert, there's a woman in there who
is learning how to cook just for you.
346
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:11,411
Now who else is gonna go to that
much trouble to make you happy?
347
00:18:11,412 --> 00:18:13,608
[Door opens]
348
00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:15,921
That's all I ever wanted, Bert;
349
00:18:15,922 --> 00:18:18,310
To make you happy.
350
00:18:18,311 --> 00:18:21,611
You can't cook anything?
351
00:18:23,642 --> 00:18:26,822
I can boil a hot dog.
352
00:18:27,729 --> 00:18:31,749
Well, okay, the wedding's back on.
353
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,671
Ivy: T...
354
00:18:40,304 --> 00:18:43,795
I'm so sorry I tricked you.
355
00:18:43,796 --> 00:18:45,630
I just really wanted you to come along.
356
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:49,936
Everything's more fun when you're around,
always has been ever since kindergarten.
357
00:18:49,937 --> 00:18:53,057
We met in preschool...
358
00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:55,741
But go on.
359
00:18:56,674 --> 00:18:59,132
I just wanted to spend
some time with you.
360
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:04,503
We're both going away to different
colleges soon and things are gonna change.
361
00:19:04,504 --> 00:19:07,599
Well, Ivy, we're always
gonna be best friends.
362
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,172
I know, but...
363
00:19:10,173 --> 00:19:12,160
It won't be the same.
364
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,833
[Sighs]
365
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,461
I'm gonna miss you so much.
366
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:18,604
I'm gonna miss you too, T.
367
00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:22,359
And just so you know, everything's
more fun when you're around too.
368
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:27,940
This last day was a bad
example, but generally speaking.
369
00:19:29,829 --> 00:19:34,004
Believe it or not, I'm
even gonna miss them.
370
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:38,805
Mama Bear, this is
Teddy Bear. Come on back.
371
00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:41,827
This is Mama Bear, over.
372
00:19:41,828 --> 00:19:44,389
Teddy Bear would like to
do a little flippity-flop
373
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:48,470
on the whole Las Vegas thing, over.
374
00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:52,860
Teddy Bear, are you saying
what I think you're saying?
375
00:19:52,861 --> 00:19:56,597
We're going to Las Vegas, New Mexico!
376
00:19:56,598 --> 00:19:58,878
Copy that.
377
00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:05,359
Play ball!
378
00:20:05,647 --> 00:20:07,601
Hey, batter, batter, batter!
379
00:20:07,602 --> 00:20:09,297
Hey, batter, batter, batter, batter!
380
00:20:09,298 --> 00:20:13,221
- Hey...
- Mom, Mom, the umpire doesn't chatter.
381
00:20:13,222 --> 00:20:17,076
Sorry, I just really like that part.
382
00:20:17,077 --> 00:20:19,417
Strike one!
383
00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:21,459
Hey, what are you looking at?
384
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:25,377
I'll run you out of here so
fast it'll make your head spin.
385
00:20:25,378 --> 00:20:28,762
At least you don't have
to go home with her.
386
00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:31,002
No, no, no, too low! Downstairs!
387
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:32,464
Ball one!
388
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,105
You stink, ump.
389
00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:38,208
Sweetheart, no, not
now. Mommy's the ump.
390
00:20:38,209 --> 00:20:40,309
I know.
391
00:20:45,514 --> 00:20:48,855
Well, Charlie, I went to Las Vegas...
392
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,831
New Mexico.
393
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:55,347
And I'd tell you all about the trip,
but as they say, what happens in Vegas...
394
00:20:55,348 --> 00:20:57,380
Is nothing.
395
00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,074
But it doesn't matter because
I was with my best friend,
396
00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:02,719
which means we had a lot of fun.
397
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,417
Oh, hey, check this out.
398
00:21:05,418 --> 00:21:10,432
So by the power vested in me by
the website "Five Minute Minister".
399
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:13,908
I pronounce you husband and wife.
400
00:21:13,909 --> 00:21:15,131
[Sniffles]
401
00:21:15,132 --> 00:21:17,338
I'm always a wreck at these things.
402
00:21:17,339 --> 00:21:20,219
[Loudly blows nose]
403
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:22,711
Well, just a...
404
00:21:22,712 --> 00:21:28,612
Just another Duncan-family living-room
wedding between people we barely know.
405
00:21:28,742 --> 00:21:32,342
Wish them good luck, Charlie.
406
00:21:32,819 --> 00:21:34,859
[Music]
407
00:21:36,658 --> 00:21:40,205
You know what? All this wedding
stuff has really got me thinking.
408
00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:42,324
You and I should go off
on that second honeymoon.
409
00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:44,175
You know, the one we're
always talking about.
410
00:21:44,176 --> 00:21:45,673
You mean Paris?
411
00:21:45,674 --> 00:21:48,014
Where else?
412
00:21:48,442 --> 00:21:52,222
You have got to be kidding me.
413
00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:54,436
Paris, Texas?!
414
00:21:54,437 --> 00:21:55,694
Oh, yeah.
415
00:21:55,695 --> 00:21:57,364
What Paris we're you thinking of?
416
00:21:57,365 --> 00:21:59,884
- The one in France!
- Oh!
417
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,877
That's been done to death.
418
00:22:01,878 --> 00:22:04,480
This is where it's at.
419
00:22:04,481 --> 00:22:08,189
Oh, come on. Who's gonna
choose this place over France?
420
00:22:08,190 --> 00:22:10,830
Howdy, partners.
421
00:22:11,136 --> 00:22:14,302
We didn't know that you
were such world travelers.
422
00:22:14,303 --> 00:22:17,648
Hey of you want to join
us, our next stop is Athens.
423
00:22:17,649 --> 00:22:20,804
- Georgia?
- Where else?
424
00:22:20,805 --> 00:22:23,843
Greece. Greece is where else.
425
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:29,744
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426
00:22:29,794 --> 00:22:34,344
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