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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:07,450 Yo, not gonna lie. 2 00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,685 This sound... 3 00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:12,524 ...gets me hard as a fucking rock. 4 00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:18,464 But I don't like to go too fast right off the bat. 5 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:23,904 I'd rather work my way into it, nice and easy. 6 00:02:24,076 --> 00:02:26,044 So I'll start off with some stills. 7 00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:31,807 Then, once I'm getting into it, 8 00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:33,611 I start looking for a video. 9 00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:40,921 I never actually touch my cock till I find the right clip. 10 00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:42,856 Then, once I do... 11 00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:44,825 ...goodbye. 12 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:49,090 For the next few minutes, all the bullshit fades away, 13 00:02:49,268 --> 00:02:53,398 and the only thing in the world is those tits... 14 00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,096 ...that ass... 15 00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:58,238 ...the blowjob, the cowboy, 16 00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:01,937 the doggy, the moneyshot, and that's it. I don't gotta say anything, 17 00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:07,609 I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself. 18 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,948 There's only a few things I really care about in life. 19 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,192 My body... 20 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,189 ...my pad... 21 00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:21,396 ...my ride... 22 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:25,363 ...my family... 23 00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:26,561 Amen. 24 00:03:26,739 --> 00:03:27,797 ...my church... 25 00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:30,638 ...my boys... 26 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,940 ...my girls... 27 00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:41,385 ...and my porn. 28 00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:45,085 I know that last one sounds weird, but I'm just being honest. 29 00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:48,454 Nothing else does it for me the same way. Not even real pussy. 30 00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:50,891 And, yo, I get plenty of that. 31 00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:53,054 Why you think my boys call me The Don? 32 00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,764 - Jonny-Boy! - Don Jon, what's good, baby? 33 00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:56,924 - What up? - You good? 34 00:03:57,102 --> 00:03:58,626 - I'm all right. - Jonny, look at me. 35 00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:00,499 - Everything good with you? - What's the matter with this guy? 36 00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,971 - Come here, you animal! - Get the fuck off of me! 37 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,667 Real talk, real talk. Purple. 38 00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:08,108 - That's not bad. - It's better than "not bad." 39 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,339 - You ain't see her turn around. - You calling her a seven? 40 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,313 - An eight. At least an eight. - That is not an eight. 41 00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:15,282 She's cute in the face, you can maybe call the face an eight, tits are a four. 42 00:04:15,454 --> 00:04:19,083 Yeah, but the butt, man, it's exceptional. I'm telling you. It changes everything. 43 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,850 - Shit! - What? 44 00:04:21,026 --> 00:04:23,586 - Sequins. Don't look. Don't look. - What? Who is that? 45 00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,855 - You don't remember her? - She's coming over here. 46 00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:28,465 'Cause you're staring right at her. 47 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,482 - Look who the fuck it is. - How you doing? 48 00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:35,004 - Why didn't you call me back? - Come on. You're a grown woman. 49 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:37,301 Did you think I was gonna call you back? 50 00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:41,139 You're pathetic, you know that? Every week you got a new bitch. 51 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,948 Then why'd you come home with me? 52 00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:46,842 Fuck you! 53 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,687 - Eight. - No, that might be a nine. 54 00:04:49,855 --> 00:04:51,846 - You shitting me? That's a seven. - You're out of your fucking mind! 55 00:04:52,024 --> 00:04:54,390 I gave you the eight, your record's intact. Chill out. 56 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,289 You heard what she said? Everyone knows about the streak. 57 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,828 - You're sick. You know that? - I don't know what's wrong with me. 58 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,556 - Oh, my... damn! - What? What? Where? 59 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,827 - Red. - Holy shit! That's a dime. 60 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,597 - That is a dime. - Nah, she's hot, but it's not a dime. 61 00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:09,535 I don't even mess with blondes like that, but that there is a dime! 62 00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:11,539 - Fuck yeah. - I don't know, there might be 63 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,551 - some lasagna up in there. - I don't think so. 64 00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:15,977 Definitely not. She keep her shit tight, you can tell. 65 00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:18,378 - No. I don't know. - See, he likes that skinny shit. 66 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:21,519 He likes that skinny, high-fashion, looks-like-a-boy shit. 67 00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:22,813 - Fuck you! - Admit it! 68 00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:26,321 - He's kind of right, man, you do. - I don't like more than a handful of titty. 69 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:31,020 No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like no! 70 00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:33,221 Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something. 71 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:36,027 - Jesus Christ. - Your mom do got some big-ass titties. 72 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:38,169 - Don't talk about my mother. - You brought up your mother. 73 00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,601 If you don't like that, there's something wrong with you. 74 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,934 I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it's not a dime. 75 00:05:43,108 --> 00:05:45,542 - That's incorrect. - She's taller than you anyway. 76 00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,702 - Fuck you, Jonny. - I'm playing, come on. 77 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,110 You gonna get that? 78 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,011 Let me get a vodka-cranberry. 79 00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:58,021 - Jonny! - Sammy-boy, how you doing? 80 00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:00,681 - You good? - Let me get a Grey Goose and soda. 81 00:06:15,974 --> 00:06:18,442 - What makes you think you could do that? - Do what? 82 00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,737 - Get the fuck out of here. - You wanna go somewhere? 83 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:22,574 - Fuck you. - You wanna fuck me? 84 00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:24,375 - Is that why you kissed me? - I didn't kiss you. 85 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,881 Yeah, you did. 86 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,946 Stop it, I mean it. Stop it. 87 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:31,612 Come on. Let me buy you a drink. It's early. 88 00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:34,657 - Where you going? - I told you where I was going. 89 00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,091 Come on! Wait a minute! 90 00:06:37,262 --> 00:06:38,286 Shit! 91 00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:44,561 Yo. Headband. 92 00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:49,600 Nah, I don't know. 93 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,722 See? This is what I'm saying. 94 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,659 Real pussy's all good. But I'm sorry. 95 00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:48,356 It's not as good as porn. 96 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,865 Tits? 97 00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:53,835 Great. 98 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,337 Ass? 99 00:07:56,575 --> 00:07:57,872 Great. 100 00:07:58,043 --> 00:07:59,704 Blowjob? 101 00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:04,474 Sure, it's fucking fantastic in person... if she'll do it. 102 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,483 But in real life, if you wanna get head, you gotta give head. 103 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,213 Lower. Not that low! 104 00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:12,186 I know, some guys love eating pussy, 105 00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:13,814 but the thing about those guys is, 106 00:08:13,992 --> 00:08:15,323 they're fucking crazy. 107 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:19,396 Don't get me wrong, I like a good pussy-eating clip. 108 00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:23,433 But, from down here, there's nothing good about this. 109 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:30,500 And if she does finally decide to do you the big favor... 110 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,012 ...she's in a fucking hurry. 111 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:38,605 Now, when it comes to the actual fucking... 112 00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:42,618 First of all, condoms are terrible. They just are. 113 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,415 But you gotta wear one, 'cause, 114 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:48,287 unlike porn, real pussy can kill you. 115 00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:53,625 Second of all, missionary is the worst position in all of fucking. 116 00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:57,132 The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass, 117 00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,702 you can't touch her ass, 'cause she's lying on her back. 118 00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:03,973 They won't let you do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you. 119 00:09:04,776 --> 00:09:07,404 And basically it's on me to do all the work. 120 00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:10,946 Moneyshot? No. There is no real-life moneyshot. 121 00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:14,483 Real girls won't do that shit. You just gotta cum into the fucking condom. 122 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:24,623 So, you tell me, which looks better? 123 00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:26,423 This? 124 00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:33,428 Or this? 125 00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:20,346 Jesus! What are you fucking retarded?! You're fucking retarded! 126 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:25,354 You're a retarded person and you're driving a fucking car! 127 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,279 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 128 00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:53,179 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 129 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,183 It has been one week since my last confession. 130 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,653 - Tell me your sins. - Since last Sunday, I had sexual relations 131 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,917 out of wedlock two times. I also watched 132 00:11:01,059 --> 00:11:03,619 pornographic videos and masturbated 17 times. 133 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,888 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 134 00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:08,589 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 135 00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:10,128 Through the ministry of the Church, 136 00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,259 may God give you pardon and peace, 137 00:11:11,436 --> 00:11:13,495 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, 138 00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:14,805 the Son and the Holy Spirit. 139 00:11:14,806 --> 00:11:15,830 Amen. 140 00:11:16,007 --> 00:11:19,841 Bullshit! Bullshit! Did you see that? That was fucking bullshit. Bad call. 141 00:11:19,978 --> 00:11:22,845 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Jon! 142 00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:26,279 - Fucking bullshit. Did you see that? - Nah, I didn't see it. What happened? 143 00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:27,941 They'll do a replay. They better do a fucking replay. 144 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,918 Unless they just don't want us to see how bad that fucking call was. 145 00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:33,057 Why don't you get the thing where you can pause... 146 00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:35,117 - Assholes, where's the replay?! - Dad, there's a thing you can pause 147 00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:36,973 - and rewind. - What are you talking about? 148 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,896 It's digital. You just rewind and watch it. 149 00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:41,388 - I'm not taping this. - No, I know you're not taping it. 150 00:11:41,566 --> 00:11:43,466 Are you people serious, no fucking replay?! 151 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:44,796 I'm not talking about a VCR. 152 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:47,063 How do I know what the fuck you're talking about? 153 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,764 I don't know, I guess 'cause most American people have heard of TiVo. 154 00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:52,239 Most people that pay attention to the world around them! 155 00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:54,572 Here it is. Shut up already, finally. Shit! 156 00:11:54,746 --> 00:11:58,443 - You seriously never heard of that? - Yes! I've heard of it, Jesus fucking... 157 00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:02,644 There! Look, his foot's on the line! Look at that bullshit! 158 00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:05,181 - Jon! All right already! - So if you've heard of it, 159 00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:06,620 - what is it? - Did you see that? 160 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:09,158 - I'm asking you a question. - It's a fucking thing... 161 00:12:09,327 --> 00:12:12,125 Wait a minute. Did you see that? I'm asking you. 162 00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,162 - Did you? - Nah, I didn't see it. 163 00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:16,133 Why not?! What the fuck's the matter with you? 164 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:19,931 I said look at this play, I said it right to you! 165 00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:22,767 I ask you to do the easiest fucking thing, and you can't do it! 166 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:25,943 - At least I know what a fucking TiVo is. - I know what a fucking TiVo is! 167 00:12:25,944 --> 00:12:27,711 You want a TiVo? Is that what you're saying? 168 00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,680 - I would love a fucking TiVo. - Who do you love? 169 00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:33,807 He loves TiVo. He sure as shit don't love football. We know that. 170 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:46,458 One of these days, I'm gonna sit down here and start eating, and you're gonna say, 171 00:12:46,631 --> 00:12:48,292 - "Mom, I found her." - Ma! 172 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,695 One of these days. 173 00:12:55,340 --> 00:13:00,107 Holy Mary... Mother of God... 174 00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:02,371 ...pray for us now... 175 00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:04,515 ...and at the hour of death... 176 00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,011 Amen. 177 00:13:13,191 --> 00:13:15,625 Hail Mary... full of grace... 178 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,561 All right, I'll admit, 179 00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:19,154 there are some down sides. 180 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:22,858 Like there's the times you find a great clip, with a hot chick. 181 00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:27,368 And right when you're starting to cum, it shows the guy. 182 00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:32,199 Fuck! Goddamn it! 183 00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:36,507 It's no one's fault, really, but it still sucks. So... 184 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,763 Also, nowadays you got so much 185 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:44,015 to choose from, finding just the right clip can take a lot of time. 186 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:45,884 And my time is precious to me. 187 00:13:46,057 --> 00:13:49,322 Yeah, I got shit to do. So... 188 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,856 And, every once in a while, 189 00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:57,229 you find a clip that's so good, it's fucking depressing. 190 00:13:57,402 --> 00:14:00,337 And you're thinking to yourself, why can't real pussy be like this? 191 00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:03,531 You know, I smash new girls all the fucking time, 192 00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:07,166 always an eight or better, and it's still never this good. What am I doing wrong? 193 00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:13,950 Maybe it's time to try something new. So... 194 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,661 Yo, you remember that dime from last week? 195 00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:25,296 Oh, shit. 196 00:14:25,463 --> 00:14:28,023 The blonde in the dress? She was insane, bro. You hit that? 197 00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:31,100 No, I didn't, you fucking alcoholic, I saw you after she left. 198 00:14:31,269 --> 00:14:33,464 - Fuck you, Jonny! - I thought you made that happen. 199 00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:35,435 - I threw it to this other random. - Typical. 200 00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,327 - Probably an eight or nine. - Six or seven. 201 00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:39,409 Shut the fuck up! Who'd you take home, huh? 202 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,443 Twos and threes, baby. I'm telling you, 203 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,741 twos and threes are some open-minded ladies. 204 00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:46,713 - I wanna find that girl. - You get her name? 205 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:49,547 - Her name? - First and last name. 206 00:14:49,721 --> 00:14:52,281 I'm looking for her name, first and last name. 207 00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:54,425 Shit, I don't know. You know who would? 208 00:14:56,962 --> 00:15:00,056 - Barbara Sugarman. - Sugarman? 209 00:15:00,231 --> 00:15:01,562 Thanks, bro. 210 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,225 - OK, what was it again? - Barbara Sugarman. 211 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,096 - You see her anywhere? - No. 212 00:15:10,842 --> 00:15:12,503 - Oh, shit! - That's her? 213 00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:15,805 - That's definitely her. - Oh! Got you, bitch! 214 00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,846 What you wanna say? You gotta say something. 215 00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:20,348 - Really? - A girl that bad gets mad friend requests. 216 00:15:20,518 --> 00:15:24,477 - Fuck! - I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch. 217 00:15:24,656 --> 00:15:26,749 Might have to take this girl out for coffee. 218 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,654 - Christ! - Yeah, this is the long game. 219 00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:32,319 You're not getting that butt from Barbara Sugarman anytime in the immediate future. 220 00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:33,987 If you had it like that, it would have went down. 221 00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,633 You're right. You're totally right. Shit! 222 00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:39,998 I know, I was about to say, the mighty Don bringing out the long game? 223 00:15:40,171 --> 00:15:42,366 - She's a dime, but... - This girl's more than a dime. 224 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:44,007 Come on, son. There's no such thing, 225 00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:46,042 that's the point, it's a scale from one to ten. 226 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,008 - I'm saying, this girl... - Oh, my God! 227 00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:52,138 - You in love with this girl already? - Go fuck yourself. 228 00:15:57,856 --> 00:15:59,448 - Hi. - Can I help you? 229 00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:03,060 - Yeah, two for lunch. - Sure. Right this way. 230 00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:41,988 Hey. 231 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:45,833 - How are you? - Good. Good. How you been? 232 00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:49,235 - How did you get my Facebook? - Oh. Getting right to it. 233 00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:51,204 - Yeah. - I just looked up your name. 234 00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:54,243 - I didn't tell you my name. - Obviously you did, 'cause I looked it up. 235 00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:56,880 - No, I definitely did not tell you my name. - Yeah, you did. 236 00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:59,881 - I think I would remember. - No offense, but you were pretty wasted 237 00:17:00,051 --> 00:17:02,292 - the other night. So was I. - Can I get you some drinks? 238 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,717 - Diet Coke, please. - A Coke. 239 00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:07,449 Coke and a Diet Coke. I'll be right back to take your order. 240 00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:09,893 I had a few drinks the other night, 241 00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:12,529 so I may not have remembered telling you my first name, 242 00:17:12,697 --> 00:17:14,790 but I definitely did not tell you my last name. 243 00:17:14,966 --> 00:17:16,866 - I'm telling you... Hey! - Don't lie to me. 244 00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:19,902 Look, you don't know me, so I'm gonna let you off the hook this time. 245 00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:23,529 But trust me, in the future you'll be much happier if you always tell me the truth. 246 00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,608 Wait, wait, wait, I'll be happier? 247 00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:29,213 You don't think I could make you happy if I wanted to? 248 00:17:30,615 --> 00:17:32,207 So how did you find out my name? 249 00:17:32,383 --> 00:17:34,317 - I asked around. - You asked around about me? 250 00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:37,319 - Yeah. - That's interesting. 251 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:39,150 - Why? - Why? What do you mean why? 252 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,622 - Why did you ask around about me? - 'Cause I wanted to. 253 00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,454 - You wanted to take me to lunch? - Yeah. 254 00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:46,119 - Don't lie. - OK, I asked around about you 255 00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:49,018 'cause I wanna fuck your brains out. Is that what you want me to say? 256 00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:53,768 - Well, at least you're being honest now. - Let me ask you a question. 257 00:17:53,938 --> 00:17:57,135 Why did you come here, huh? Why did you say yes to me? 258 00:17:57,308 --> 00:17:59,105 - That's a very good question. - Yeah, so? 259 00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:00,835 You're gonna have to wait to find out. 260 00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:03,640 - All right. I got time. - Really? You got time? 261 00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:05,680 It seemed like you were in a big hurry the other day. 262 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:07,370 I can be that way when I'm shit-faced. 263 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,686 You're cute, I like you. 264 00:18:11,856 --> 00:18:13,790 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 265 00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:17,427 Listen, you wanna know the truth? 266 00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:20,257 This is the truth. 267 00:18:20,431 --> 00:18:23,332 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. 268 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,508 You like movies? 269 00:18:33,044 --> 00:18:35,171 I don't watch too many movies. 270 00:18:36,714 --> 00:18:39,308 I used to watch 'em a lot when I was a little kid, 271 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,645 before I could get my hands on any porn. 272 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:45,813 Back then, if I wanted to see a really hot girl, my best bet was to watch a movie. 273 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,958 - That's the one you like? - Oh, it's so great. 274 00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:50,856 - I love these two. And you? - Yeah. They're great. 275 00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:58,661 But now, I don't really see the point. 276 00:19:02,874 --> 00:19:05,741 I don't know, I guess I'm missing something. 277 00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:09,539 Because most people eat that shit up. 278 00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:14,875 The pretty woman. 279 00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:16,913 The pretty man. 280 00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,156 Love at first sight. 281 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:21,551 The first kiss. 282 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,323 - The breakup. - I felt that! 283 00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,486 - The makeup. - I'm scared. 284 00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:30,259 The expensive wedding, and they drive off into the sunset. 285 00:19:30,435 --> 00:19:34,428 Everyone knows it's fake, but they watch it like it's real fucking life. 286 00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:42,208 She was the most important thing to him. He gave up everything for her. 287 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,848 It was just meant to be. 288 00:19:45,016 --> 00:19:48,042 - I love movies like that. - Yeah, it was great. 289 00:19:48,219 --> 00:19:52,519 He's just such a real man. And she's so beautiful too, always. 290 00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,181 - Her? No, she's too skinny. - Yeah. 291 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,124 - What? - You wanna know who's beautiful? 292 00:20:16,447 --> 00:20:20,474 - What makes you think you could do that? - Do what? 293 00:20:55,653 --> 00:20:58,322 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. 294 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,964 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 295 00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:03,025 It has been one week since my last confession. 296 00:21:03,194 --> 00:21:06,163 - Tell me your sins. - Since last Sunday I did not have 297 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,629 sexual relations out of wedlock. 298 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:13,362 I did kiss a girl, this one girl, out of wedlock, several times, 299 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:18,703 but it's just kissing. I don't know, I forget if that counts, so... 300 00:21:18,876 --> 00:21:22,004 Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 22 times. 301 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,478 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 302 00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:27,117 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 303 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:28,646 Through the ministry of the Church, 304 00:21:28,753 --> 00:21:29,811 may God give you pardon and peace, 305 00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:32,789 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, of the Son 306 00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:34,655 - and the Holy Spirit. - Amen. 307 00:21:57,715 --> 00:21:59,615 Introducing the 308 00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:02,379 charbroiled, not fried, codfish sandwich, 309 00:22:02,553 --> 00:22:04,680 only at Carl's Jr. and Hardee's. 310 00:22:11,362 --> 00:22:14,160 More than just a piece of meat. 311 00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:30,171 Oh, go! Jesus. It's a yellow light! Fuck you! 312 00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:42,086 Our Father... Who art in heaven... 313 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,956 ...hallowed be Thy name... Thy Kingdom come... 314 00:22:45,129 --> 00:22:46,721 ...Thy will be done... 315 00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:48,058 ...on earth... 316 00:22:48,766 --> 00:22:49,755 as it is in heaven... 317 00:22:54,272 --> 00:22:56,069 - No. - No... What? 318 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,265 - Not out here. - So let's go inside. 319 00:22:58,443 --> 00:22:59,432 Mm-mm. 320 00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:01,737 - Why not? - It's not time for that yet. 321 00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:04,609 - You sure? - Yeah. We barely know each other. 322 00:23:04,782 --> 00:23:09,742 Yeah, we do, pretty much. 323 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:12,890 - I don't know your friends. - My friends? 324 00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:14,718 Mmm... 325 00:23:14,892 --> 00:23:17,918 - I wanna meet your friends. - Those guys are assholes. 326 00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,586 - Yeah? - Yeah. 327 00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:22,164 And you don't know my friends. 328 00:23:23,267 --> 00:23:26,065 - Or our families. - Wait, our families? 329 00:23:26,237 --> 00:23:29,798 Yeah. I wanna meet your parents and your sister. 330 00:23:29,974 --> 00:23:30,474 Oh, Jesus! 331 00:23:30,608 --> 00:23:32,337 What? You don't wanna meet my brothers 332 00:23:32,510 --> 00:23:36,571 - and my sister? - Uh... 333 00:23:36,747 --> 00:23:41,616 - 'Cause I know they wanna meet you. - Yeah... I bet they do. 334 00:23:41,786 --> 00:23:43,754 Mmm... 335 00:23:46,924 --> 00:23:47,424 Mm-hm. 336 00:23:51,295 --> 00:23:52,284 - Jon. - Yeah? 337 00:23:52,463 --> 00:23:56,194 - I can't let you come inside just yet. - No? 338 00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:59,803 No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know? 339 00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:03,031 I don't want to do anything unless it means something. 340 00:24:03,207 --> 00:24:04,196 Uh-huh... 341 00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:08,175 Mm... Don't you think it's always better when it means something? 342 00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:10,109 - Yeah. - Mm... 343 00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:13,307 I think you should go back to school, baby. 344 00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:13,974 What? 345 00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:18,555 - Yeah, come on. Just a night class. - Oh, my God! 346 00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:20,850 - Just get your degree. - Oh! 347 00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:24,017 - You would be so sexy with a real job. - Mm! 348 00:24:24,195 --> 00:24:27,130 Mm-hm! Yeah... 349 00:24:27,298 --> 00:24:30,961 So, what do you say? You, me and our friends, we go out sometime? 350 00:24:31,135 --> 00:24:34,468 - Oh, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? And our families meet, huh? 351 00:24:34,605 --> 00:24:35,629 - Oh! - Yeah? 352 00:24:35,806 --> 00:24:37,205 - Yeah. - Mm... 353 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:40,401 And you take one night class for me, baby? One little class? 354 00:24:40,578 --> 00:24:42,637 - Oh! Oh! - Huh? Yeah? Yeah? 355 00:24:42,813 --> 00:24:46,214 - Yeah! Oh! - Come on, baby, cum... cum... 356 00:24:46,384 --> 00:24:50,514 Mm-hm! Uh-huh. 357 00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:56,849 - Nice. - Oh, Jesus... 358 00:24:57,028 --> 00:24:58,655 Yeah. 359 00:25:06,204 --> 00:25:08,434 You're so cute. 360 00:25:14,879 --> 00:25:16,574 Call me. 361 00:25:51,449 --> 00:25:53,747 - Baby! - Baby, what? 362 00:25:53,918 --> 00:25:55,249 - Baby. - Baby... 363 00:25:55,419 --> 00:25:57,649 - You guys having a good time? - You bitch, I don't wanna hear it. 364 00:25:57,822 --> 00:25:59,881 - Jesus Christ. - A toast. Let's make a toast. 365 00:26:00,057 --> 00:26:02,924 Everyone listen up. You get up too. This is for you. Come on. Get up. 366 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:04,254 - Oh, God. - All right. 367 00:26:04,428 --> 00:26:08,831 You guys know tonight is me and this girl's one-month anniversary. 368 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,798 I'm counting that from the first time I ever saw her, 'cause ever since then, 369 00:26:11,969 --> 00:26:15,996 I've felt the same way. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. 370 00:26:16,173 --> 00:26:18,107 - To you, baby. - No, to us. 371 00:26:18,276 --> 00:26:19,675 To us. 372 00:26:19,844 --> 00:26:22,312 - Mwah. Cheers. - Cheers! 373 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,141 God bless. 374 00:26:25,349 --> 00:26:27,681 - So, what's he do? - He's in school. 375 00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:30,082 - Oh, the family's got money? - No, he's got a job. 376 00:26:30,254 --> 00:26:31,278 - Retail? - No. 377 00:26:31,455 --> 00:26:32,444 - Service? - Yeah. 378 00:26:32,623 --> 00:26:34,591 He's definitely been spending time at the gym. 379 00:26:34,725 --> 00:26:38,126 - Right? I know. He is so disciplined. - You guys work out together? 380 00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:41,288 - Mm-mm. No. - Does he do that muscle guy thing 381 00:26:41,465 --> 00:26:44,366 where he's, like, looking at himself while you're doing it? 382 00:26:44,535 --> 00:26:47,800 - Oh. We haven't done it yet. - Shit, really? 383 00:26:47,972 --> 00:26:51,965 - Oh, my God. That's so amazing! - All right. I like him. 384 00:26:52,143 --> 00:26:54,338 Goddamn! White shorts. 385 00:26:58,382 --> 00:27:00,680 - Nah. - What? Come on, that's a dime! 386 00:27:00,851 --> 00:27:03,342 - That's not a dime. - I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that 387 00:27:03,521 --> 00:27:06,012 - than do yours. - You faggot motherfucker! 388 00:27:06,190 --> 00:27:09,182 - I can like any girl I wanna like. - But she's not hotter than my girl. 389 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,227 - To you, maybe not, but to me... - Look at that. Sorry, buddy. 390 00:27:12,396 --> 00:27:15,661 - Fuck you, Jonny! - That's the way... 391 00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:17,323 Hi. 392 00:27:31,882 --> 00:27:34,146 Shit! 393 00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:36,048 So, uh... 394 00:27:38,889 --> 00:27:41,380 I'm sort of seeing this girl. 395 00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:43,857 - What did you say? - What do you mean, what did I say? 396 00:27:44,028 --> 00:27:45,518 - Did you say...? - She asked you what you said. 397 00:27:45,696 --> 00:27:47,630 What's the matter with that? I couldn't understand you, either. 398 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,493 Speak up and talk like a human being. 399 00:27:49,667 --> 00:27:51,100 - Shush. - What's your problem? 400 00:27:51,268 --> 00:27:53,600 - Jon. Did you say you found her? - What? 401 00:27:53,771 --> 00:27:57,263 - Well, I said I'm sort of... - Oh, my God! What's her name? 402 00:27:57,441 --> 00:28:00,410 - Barbara. - Barbara! Barbara what? 403 00:28:00,578 --> 00:28:02,739 - Here we go... - Shh! Barbara what? 404 00:28:02,913 --> 00:28:05,905 - Barbara Sugarman. - Sugarman? 405 00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:08,142 - She a Jew? - I don't think so. 406 00:28:08,352 --> 00:28:10,445 - You don't know? - We haven't really talked... 407 00:28:10,621 --> 00:28:12,418 She's not Italian, we know that. 408 00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,524 - Sugarman. She black? - No. 409 00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:16,182 What does she look like? 410 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,555 She's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life. 411 00:28:18,729 --> 00:28:21,562 - Oh, boy. - Baby! Oh! 412 00:28:21,732 --> 00:28:23,927 That's the sweetest thing I ever heard anybody say. 413 00:28:24,101 --> 00:28:27,264 - And does she love you? - Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding? 414 00:28:27,438 --> 00:28:29,599 - Jon, shush! - They're kids, for Christ's sake! 415 00:28:29,774 --> 00:28:32,208 - So what? - You know what? Don't call me a kid. 416 00:28:32,376 --> 00:28:33,843 We talked about this, I don't appreciate it. 417 00:28:34,044 --> 00:28:36,308 - Excuse me. - Dad, I'm asking you nicely. 418 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,414 To not call you a kid? You're a fucking kid. 419 00:28:38,582 --> 00:28:39,913 - Jon! - Fuck you! 420 00:28:40,084 --> 00:28:43,247 Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me? 421 00:28:43,387 --> 00:28:43,887 Jon! 422 00:28:44,054 --> 00:28:47,182 He said they're in love, they're in love. It doesn't matter how old they are. 423 00:28:47,391 --> 00:28:50,224 He's older than you were when we got married. 424 00:28:50,361 --> 00:28:53,228 You know that? For God's sake, he's your son! 425 00:28:55,232 --> 00:28:56,563 You love this girl? 426 00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:00,293 Yes, I do. 427 00:29:01,472 --> 00:29:03,940 Then when do we get to meet her? 428 00:29:04,108 --> 00:29:06,906 Oh! 429 00:29:07,077 --> 00:29:08,442 All right, Mom, OK. 430 00:29:08,612 --> 00:29:11,513 Oh! 431 00:29:13,117 --> 00:29:16,348 Bella? Sweetheart, come over here. 432 00:29:19,190 --> 00:29:22,853 Come on, let me fix your lipstick. Here we go. 433 00:29:24,094 --> 00:29:25,618 - You look so beautiful. - Thank you. 434 00:29:25,796 --> 00:29:28,788 - Can I get you a refill, Mrs. Sugarman? - You don't have to do that. 435 00:29:28,966 --> 00:29:30,593 - No, it's my pleasure. - Jon. 436 00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:32,793 - Thank you. - Jon, you meet Daryl? 437 00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:34,995 - Oh, wow. - You wanna hold him? 438 00:29:35,172 --> 00:29:38,198 - I don't know... - Come here. 439 00:29:38,375 --> 00:29:40,866 Here you go, babe. 440 00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:45,141 - All right. Is that good? Is that right? - Yeah. 441 00:29:45,316 --> 00:29:47,250 You look so cute, the two of you. 442 00:29:56,494 --> 00:29:57,859 Barbara! 443 00:29:58,028 --> 00:30:00,826 - How long have we been up here for? - Not long. 444 00:30:00,998 --> 00:30:05,697 Well, I gotta go, we gotta go. Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on. 445 00:30:06,704 --> 00:30:08,365 Close the door. 446 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:11,533 OK. Let's take a break and when we get back 447 00:30:11,675 --> 00:30:13,905 we'll go over the course syllabus. 448 00:30:30,394 --> 00:30:32,828 - Hey. - Baby! How is it? 449 00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:35,022 - It's great. - Yeah? You're on break? 450 00:30:35,199 --> 00:30:38,396 - Yeah. How did you know? - Your schedule's online. 451 00:30:38,569 --> 00:30:41,538 - Baby, I'm just so proud of you. - Thanks. 452 00:30:41,705 --> 00:30:43,036 - Baby? - Yeah? 453 00:30:43,207 --> 00:30:45,675 Can I come over when you're done? 454 00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:47,811 - You wanna come to my place? - Mm-hm. 455 00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:49,946 - What, tonight? - Yeah. 456 00:30:50,114 --> 00:30:51,706 OK, great. 457 00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:55,249 - You get back to class, sexy man. - All right. 458 00:30:55,419 --> 00:30:57,944 - Bye, baby. - OK, bye. 459 00:31:11,068 --> 00:31:13,798 Jesus fucking Christ! 460 00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:22,438 - Excuse me. Sorry. - Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. 461 00:31:22,613 --> 00:31:24,308 It's fine. It's fine. 462 00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,218 - Hi, baby. - Hey. 463 00:32:05,623 --> 00:32:08,524 - It's OK. I'll be right back. - Baby... 464 00:32:21,438 --> 00:32:24,839 I'm in love with Barbara. I am. 465 00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:27,375 And tonight, I finally got to fuck her. 466 00:32:27,544 --> 00:32:31,947 But I'm sorry to say, it's still not as good as porn. 467 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:33,344 Tits? 468 00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:37,613 Best ever. 469 00:32:37,788 --> 00:32:39,119 Ass? 470 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,184 Best ever. 471 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:44,725 Blowjob? 472 00:32:52,336 --> 00:32:57,137 Shit. Good luck. A girl that hot? She doesn't have to give head. 473 00:33:01,578 --> 00:33:05,878 For her, she just wants to go from kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking. 474 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:09,508 Or, you know, making love. 475 00:33:09,687 --> 00:33:12,383 And when I say "making love, " I mean... 476 00:33:12,556 --> 00:33:14,888 ...missionary fucking. 477 00:33:15,059 --> 00:33:17,584 No doggie. No cowboy. 478 00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:19,903 - What the fuck are you doing? - Baby! 479 00:33:20,064 --> 00:33:22,225 - What the fuck are you doing? - I was reading e-mails. 480 00:33:22,399 --> 00:33:25,040 - You weren't. You were watching porno! - That's not what that was. 481 00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,397 - I saw you! - But, baby... 482 00:33:26,570 --> 00:33:28,595 Don't call me that. Oh, my God! That's the most disgusting thing 483 00:33:28,772 --> 00:33:31,292 - I've ever seen in my life! - Wait, don't go right now, please! 484 00:33:31,442 --> 00:33:33,376 I don't even know what that is. That's sick... 485 00:33:33,544 --> 00:33:35,876 - But, baby, I'm telling you... - Don't call me that! 486 00:33:36,046 --> 00:33:38,742 But I'm telling you, that thing I was watching was just a joke! 487 00:33:38,916 --> 00:33:42,443 Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent it to me as a joke. Come on! 488 00:33:42,619 --> 00:33:45,884 You think I'm the kind of guy that watches porn? 489 00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:48,849 No, you didn't seem like that type. 490 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:52,018 Right. 'Cause fucking losers watch porn, guys that can't get laid. 491 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:55,597 Well, no. My friends' boyfriends are watching porno on the Internet all the time, 492 00:33:55,766 --> 00:33:58,101 - it's fucking disgusting. - It's stupid is what that is. 493 00:33:58,102 --> 00:34:01,299 Why would they watch porn when they can get with a real girl? 494 00:34:01,472 --> 00:34:04,600 - So you don't do that normally? - No. 495 00:34:04,775 --> 00:34:06,800 When was the last time you did that before this? 496 00:34:06,977 --> 00:34:09,969 I don't even know. When I was a kid or something. 497 00:34:10,147 --> 00:34:12,047 You're never gonna do it again? 498 00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:15,982 No. Why would I? 499 00:34:17,254 --> 00:34:19,722 - Promise? - I promise. 500 00:34:19,890 --> 00:34:21,755 Baby... 501 00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:24,288 I love you. 502 00:34:32,803 --> 00:34:34,828 Come here. 503 00:35:14,611 --> 00:35:18,206 It's not that I can't stop. I just figure, why should I? 504 00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:21,818 I mean, my girlfriend doesn't like it. So she doesn't have to know about it. 505 00:35:21,985 --> 00:35:25,819 It's not like I'm cheating on her. I don't do it when she's around. 506 00:35:30,460 --> 00:35:31,859 And everything's fine. 507 00:35:34,798 --> 00:35:39,565 She has been spending a lot of time at my place, though. So I looked into it. 508 00:35:39,736 --> 00:35:43,968 And it's pretty amazing how easy it is to get porn on-the-go these days. 509 00:35:44,474 --> 00:35:46,635 So... 510 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,185 Excuse me? Sorry, were you on your phone? 511 00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:00,890 No. 512 00:36:00,891 --> 00:36:03,052 - I'm Esther. - Good to meet you. 513 00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:05,218 - What's your name? - Jon. 514 00:36:05,395 --> 00:36:07,329 - I hope I'm not bothering you. - No, it's fine. 515 00:36:07,497 --> 00:36:10,022 I just wanted to apologize. I don't know if you remember, 516 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,328 you caught me in a kind of an inopportune moment last week. 517 00:36:13,503 --> 00:36:17,098 - When I was sobbing by the door? - Oh! Yeah, sorry, I'm sorry about that. 518 00:36:17,274 --> 00:36:20,710 Please, don't. Please, don't you apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. 519 00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:23,711 - I felt like I should say something. - OK. Well... 520 00:36:23,881 --> 00:36:27,578 Because I've been thinking about it, a lot actually, and I realized that, 521 00:36:27,751 --> 00:36:31,517 you know, nobody's seen me like that in, like, six months, 522 00:36:31,688 --> 00:36:34,418 - and it's not like it's a rare... - Good evening, everyone. 523 00:36:34,591 --> 00:36:38,288 ...a rare occurrence, I mean, I do that all the time, 524 00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:42,922 I'm crying all the time. It's just something that I do in private now. 525 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:46,069 On the one hand, you go there when you go there. 526 00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:49,205 On the other hand, it's really fucked up to keep it hidden, right? 527 00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:52,103 That's what became clear to me when you startled me. 528 00:36:52,276 --> 00:36:54,904 You didn't, you didn't mean to startle me, you walked by, 529 00:36:55,078 --> 00:36:58,445 but I just... so I wanted to say thank you. 530 00:36:58,615 --> 00:37:02,210 Were you... I'm sorry, this might be rude, 531 00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:04,149 but were you watching people fucking on your phone? 532 00:37:04,321 --> 00:37:07,188 - What? No! - It's OK if you were. I'm not judging you. 533 00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:10,383 - Lady, I'm just here to take this class. - Did you just call me "lady"? 534 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,222 So you take care. 535 00:37:13,363 --> 00:37:15,263 Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say no more. 536 00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:23,132 - I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. 537 00:37:36,753 --> 00:37:39,688 What, are you fucking kidding me?! You're fucking kidding me, right?! 538 00:37:39,856 --> 00:37:41,448 - Baby! - What? 539 00:37:53,603 --> 00:37:57,596 I feel like I should leave my jacket in the car. Maybe not. Should I bring it? 540 00:37:57,774 --> 00:38:00,174 - Yeah, whatever you want. - Oh... 541 00:38:00,344 --> 00:38:02,642 - I'm nervous. That's all. - Why you nervous? 542 00:38:02,813 --> 00:38:04,212 - I don't know... - You got nothing to be nervous about. 543 00:38:04,381 --> 00:38:07,248 You look beautiful. God, you look beautiful. 544 00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:09,851 Oh. 545 00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:11,885 - Are you ready? Go ahead. - Yeah. All right. 546 00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:15,115 - Hi, Mom. - Hi. 547 00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:18,853 Oh, hello, hello! You must be Barbara. 548 00:38:19,029 --> 00:38:23,523 - Hi, Mrs. Martello. Here, for you. - Thank you, and please call me Angie. 549 00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:29,366 Come in, come in. Jon! Jonny's here! Come say hello to your son! 550 00:38:29,539 --> 00:38:32,406 - Please. - Let me get by you there, babe. 551 00:38:32,576 --> 00:38:37,240 Dad? I would like you to meet Barbara. Baby, this is my dad. 552 00:38:37,414 --> 00:38:40,178 - Hi, Mr. Martello. - Hey, good to meet you. 553 00:38:40,350 --> 00:38:42,910 - Jesus Christ! - Jon! 554 00:38:43,086 --> 00:38:46,385 Oh, I... I wasn't expecting such a lovely lady, that's all. 555 00:38:46,556 --> 00:38:49,354 Thank you. It's so nice to finally meet you both. 556 00:38:49,526 --> 00:38:51,551 My pleasure, my pleasure. 557 00:38:51,728 --> 00:38:55,061 Well, please sit down and I will be right back. 558 00:38:55,232 --> 00:38:58,895 - Can I help you with anything at all? - Oh! I love her already. 559 00:38:59,069 --> 00:39:02,664 - Yes, please, sweetie, come on. - You want me to take that, babe? 560 00:39:04,207 --> 00:39:06,801 - Hey, hey, Jonny-boy! - She's cute, right? 561 00:39:07,010 --> 00:39:09,001 Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't tell me you were bringing home 562 00:39:09,179 --> 00:39:12,410 - a piece of ass like that! - I told you she was the most beautiful thing 563 00:39:12,582 --> 00:39:15,380 - I've ever seen in my life. - Yeah, you told me, but I mean, 564 00:39:15,552 --> 00:39:17,383 Jesus Christ, those tits! They're real? 565 00:39:17,554 --> 00:39:21,115 - Yeah, they're real. - Oh! Fuck me! 566 00:39:21,291 --> 00:39:24,920 - Did you clear the table? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here, honey. 567 00:39:25,095 --> 00:39:28,189 Let me move this here, so you can put that right there. 568 00:39:28,365 --> 00:39:31,630 - Right here? - Right there. That's perfect. 569 00:39:34,471 --> 00:39:37,565 So tell me. Tell me, how did it go? 570 00:39:37,741 --> 00:39:40,574 I was out with some girlfriends. We went to see some band. 571 00:39:40,744 --> 00:39:42,712 Back then you used to see bands when you went out. 572 00:39:42,879 --> 00:39:46,315 - Honey, what band was it? - You think I remember? 573 00:39:46,483 --> 00:39:49,543 It was 28 years ago, and I didn't even give a shit then. 574 00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,778 Anyway, I saw him early in the night, 575 00:39:51,955 --> 00:39:54,924 I don't know if he saw me till later, but I saw him. 576 00:39:55,092 --> 00:39:57,788 And I saw her, you couldn't miss her. 577 00:39:57,961 --> 00:40:00,953 - She was like you. - Thank you. 578 00:40:01,131 --> 00:40:03,463 - You know what I said? - Listen to this. 579 00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:08,297 I said right then, right when I saw her, I said... 580 00:40:08,472 --> 00:40:10,064 ..."That's mine." 581 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:13,937 - Oh, God. - Yup. And he was right. 582 00:40:14,111 --> 00:40:15,806 Can you... Well, that's beautiful. 583 00:40:15,979 --> 00:40:19,176 - Oh! Big play! Look at that! - OK, Jon. 584 00:40:19,349 --> 00:40:21,579 - All right, Dad. - All right, yeah. 585 00:40:21,751 --> 00:40:25,312 - Good job, big guy. - Sweetie, so nice to meet you. 586 00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:29,016 - Bye, Mr. Martello. - Please call me Jon. 587 00:40:29,192 --> 00:40:30,659 OK, Mom. 588 00:40:31,628 --> 00:40:32,925 - All right, babe? - Oh! Bye. 589 00:40:33,096 --> 00:40:34,063 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 590 00:40:34,264 --> 00:40:36,596 - Bye-bye. - Drive safe. 591 00:40:37,367 --> 00:40:42,304 - I love her! I love her! - Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all. 592 00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:02,289 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. 593 00:41:02,392 --> 00:41:05,054 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 594 00:41:05,228 --> 00:41:07,062 It has been one week since my last confession. 595 00:41:07,063 --> 00:41:08,103 Tell me your sins. 596 00:41:08,231 --> 00:41:12,793 Since last Sunday, I had sexual intercourse out of wedlock seven times. 597 00:41:12,969 --> 00:41:16,461 But... I stopped watching porn. 598 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,633 Yeah, no more of that, just the intercourse now. 599 00:41:20,777 --> 00:41:22,369 So... 600 00:41:22,546 --> 00:41:25,640 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 601 00:41:25,815 --> 00:41:28,682 - Five Lord's Prayers and five Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 602 00:41:28,852 --> 00:41:30,285 Through the ministry of the Church, 603 00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:31,546 may God give you pardon and peace, 604 00:41:31,721 --> 00:41:34,490 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, of the Son 605 00:41:34,491 --> 00:41:36,459 - and the Holy Spirit. - Amen. 606 00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:38,851 Very good. OK, when we come back, 607 00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:41,225 we'll go over employee personality testing. 608 00:41:41,398 --> 00:41:43,491 Go ahead, take a break. 609 00:41:46,870 --> 00:41:49,896 - Hi. Mind if I sit down? - You know, actually, I... 610 00:41:50,073 --> 00:41:51,700 - I brought you something. - You what? 611 00:41:51,875 --> 00:41:53,137 - What's that? - Open it. 612 00:41:53,343 --> 00:41:55,544 - I don't want to take that from you. - No, no, open it. 613 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:57,943 It's something silly. It's a little thing. Go ahead. 614 00:41:58,114 --> 00:41:59,775 All right. I'll open it. 615 00:42:01,851 --> 00:42:04,081 - What the fuck is this? - It's actually pretty good. 616 00:42:04,254 --> 00:42:06,245 - What is the matter with you? - Have you seen it? 617 00:42:06,423 --> 00:42:08,516 - Are you crazy? - It was made by this Danish woman 618 00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:13,459 in the '70s. It's probably not what you're used to looking at, but it's pretty hot. 619 00:42:13,630 --> 00:42:17,031 OK. Look, I have a girlfriend, all right? So... 620 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:21,261 I'm sorry, did you think I was hitting on you? Because I'm not. 621 00:42:21,438 --> 00:42:22,564 Will you just take this? 622 00:42:22,739 --> 00:42:25,537 I didn't mean for it to be a big thing. I thought you could use something better 623 00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:27,700 than that shit you're watching on your phone. 624 00:42:27,877 --> 00:42:30,573 Am I right? 625 00:42:30,747 --> 00:42:33,682 If you have a girlfriend, why are you watching dirty movies? 626 00:42:33,883 --> 00:42:36,317 - What? - I'm just asking. 627 00:42:36,486 --> 00:42:39,319 - You're fucking weird, you know that? - I don't entirely disagree, 628 00:42:39,489 --> 00:42:41,116 but you're the one who's gonna pretend you're texting 629 00:42:41,291 --> 00:42:43,486 while you watch people pretend they're fucking on your phone! 630 00:42:43,660 --> 00:42:45,661 The shit I watch on here, they're not pretending. 631 00:42:45,662 --> 00:42:48,096 Of course they are. 632 00:42:56,573 --> 00:42:58,939 Forgive us our trespasses... 633 00:42:59,109 --> 00:43:02,636 ...as we forgive those... who trespass against us... 634 00:43:02,812 --> 00:43:07,647 ...and lead us not... into temptation... 635 00:43:07,817 --> 00:43:09,250 ...but deliver us from evil... 636 00:43:09,419 --> 00:43:10,977 - Baby? - Huh? 637 00:43:11,154 --> 00:43:13,349 What are you doing? You talking to yourself? 638 00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:16,515 - Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight? - That's dubious. 639 00:43:16,693 --> 00:43:18,820 I'm gonna wait for Barbara to call. We're gonna meet up for dinner. 640 00:43:18,995 --> 00:43:21,429 - This fucking guy. Come on! - What did you think he was gonna say? 641 00:43:21,598 --> 00:43:24,192 I thought he still had a pair of balls hanging between his legs. 642 00:43:24,367 --> 00:43:27,302 You sound so fucking stupid to me right now, I feel sorry for you. 643 00:43:27,470 --> 00:43:29,199 - Fuck you. - I do. I feel sorry for you. 644 00:43:29,372 --> 00:43:32,107 You never been in love, so you don't know what you're talking about. 645 00:43:32,108 --> 00:43:34,133 Hold up. Wait a minute. In love? 646 00:43:34,311 --> 00:43:36,711 When you really love a girl, there's a lot that goes into it. 647 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,711 - You're saying you love her? - Of course I love her. 648 00:43:38,882 --> 00:43:41,680 - I never heard you say you loved her. - You weren't paying attention. 649 00:43:41,851 --> 00:43:44,718 I've been in love with this girl since the first time I saw her. 650 00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:46,856 Why would I wanna go out and try to pull randoms? 651 00:43:47,023 --> 00:43:48,991 None of 'em are gonna look as good as my girl, 652 00:43:49,159 --> 00:43:50,854 none of 'em are gonna fuck me as good as my girl. 653 00:43:51,027 --> 00:43:52,722 - Really? - Yeah, really. 654 00:43:52,896 --> 00:43:55,126 - So she's good? - What did I say? Yeah, she's good. 655 00:43:55,298 --> 00:43:57,163 - She's the best. - So you titty-fuck her? 656 00:43:57,334 --> 00:44:00,633 Bro, she lets me do whatever the fuck I want. 657 00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:03,398 This is what I'm trying to tell you, if you would listen to me. 658 00:44:03,573 --> 00:44:07,373 I'm telling you guys something. You be a man, you do the right thing, 659 00:44:07,544 --> 00:44:10,570 you find the right girl and you treat her the right way? 660 00:44:10,747 --> 00:44:14,012 Watch what happens. Best sex of your life. 661 00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:15,173 Hey, baby. 662 00:44:15,352 --> 00:44:17,081 - Hey. - Hi. 663 00:44:18,221 --> 00:44:21,588 - I love it when you wear this shit. - Oh, you're crazy. 664 00:44:24,894 --> 00:44:26,759 - You good? - Yeah. You order anything yet? 665 00:44:26,930 --> 00:44:29,330 - No, I waited for you. - Sweet. 666 00:44:31,668 --> 00:44:33,761 - Oh, fuck! - Who's that? 667 00:44:33,937 --> 00:44:37,395 It's Linda. She's been fighting with Chris. 668 00:44:37,574 --> 00:44:39,565 I don't think they're gonna work out. 669 00:44:39,743 --> 00:44:42,678 - You remember Linda and Chris, yeah? - Yeah, yeah. 670 00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:46,407 - I thought they were cute together, no? - Sure. They seemed pretty good. 671 00:44:46,583 --> 00:44:50,019 She's 28 years old. She put like four years into the guy already. It's terrible. 672 00:44:51,688 --> 00:44:54,714 - How did you get off work tonight? - I got Stevie to cover my shift. 673 00:44:54,891 --> 00:44:57,257 - Stevie? - Yeah, he needed the hours. 674 00:44:57,427 --> 00:45:00,692 - I don't think I know Stevie, no? - No, I don't think you ever met him. 675 00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:04,561 - Oh! I wish somebody would cover for me. - See? What did I tell you? 676 00:45:04,734 --> 00:45:06,725 The service industry, it's not a bad thing. 677 00:45:06,903 --> 00:45:08,768 Come on, you're gonna look so good in a suit. 678 00:45:08,938 --> 00:45:11,133 - I don't know. - What? Please. 679 00:45:11,307 --> 00:45:13,267 If Armando can do it, that man is such an asshole. 680 00:45:14,644 --> 00:45:19,775 He treats women like they're trash, but... he makes six figures. 681 00:45:19,949 --> 00:45:23,441 Well, he's got a pretty great life, no? If he could do it, you could do it. 682 00:45:24,788 --> 00:45:29,555 Hey, baby. You're a winner, right? You respect people. 683 00:45:30,493 --> 00:45:31,983 You listen to people. 684 00:45:32,162 --> 00:45:35,154 - You think so? - I know so, mister. 685 00:45:55,351 --> 00:45:58,115 Fucking 'caused it! Fuck! 686 00:46:46,636 --> 00:46:47,864 Hi, babe. 687 00:46:48,037 --> 00:46:51,370 I don't know which ones to get. Baby, what do you think? 688 00:46:51,541 --> 00:46:54,442 That depends. You gonna drill into your wall? 689 00:46:54,644 --> 00:46:56,202 I don't know. 690 00:46:56,379 --> 00:46:59,143 - You don't have a drill, do you? - No. 691 00:46:59,315 --> 00:47:02,250 Nah, I didn't think so. My dad has got a pretty good one. 692 00:47:02,418 --> 00:47:04,750 If you want me, I can borrow his, I'll do it for you. 693 00:47:04,921 --> 00:47:08,755 - You gonna drill into my wall for me? - Whatever you want, babe. 694 00:47:11,394 --> 00:47:14,363 You decide what color. I'm gonna meet you at the registers. 695 00:47:14,531 --> 00:47:16,658 I wanna pick up a few things in cleaning products. 696 00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:17,822 Where are you going? 697 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:19,525 - What? - Where are you going? 698 00:47:19,702 --> 00:47:21,693 I'm almost out of Swiffer pads. I'm gonna pick a few up. 699 00:47:21,871 --> 00:47:23,432 - What pads? - For the Swiffer. 700 00:47:23,540 --> 00:47:26,100 - I don't know what that is. - You don't know the Swiffer? 701 00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,117 - What is that? No. - Seriously? It's the best. 702 00:47:28,278 --> 00:47:30,198 You gotta try it. What do you do for your floors? 703 00:47:30,346 --> 00:47:32,712 You got those nice floors at your place. What, do you mop? 704 00:47:32,882 --> 00:47:35,908 - No. - What do you do? 705 00:47:36,085 --> 00:47:39,748 - I don't know. I sweep it up with a broom. - No, I mean to really clean it. 706 00:47:39,923 --> 00:47:43,381 - I don't know. The housekeeper does it. - Oh, right. 707 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,028 - Listen, I'll just be a second, OK? - No, no, no. Come here. 708 00:47:46,195 --> 00:47:49,255 - What? - You're not gonna go buy a mop right now. 709 00:47:49,432 --> 00:47:51,798 - It's embarrassing. - No, I told you, it's not a mop. 710 00:47:51,968 --> 00:47:53,299 - It's these pads. - I don't care. 711 00:47:53,469 --> 00:47:55,369 You shouldn't be doing your own housework. 712 00:47:55,538 --> 00:47:57,301 - Why not? - 'Cause you're a grown man. 713 00:47:57,473 --> 00:47:59,600 You shouldn't be cleaning your own floors. 714 00:47:59,742 --> 00:48:00,868 Why? I enjoy doing it. 715 00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:03,274 You know what? I'll call Rosa. She'll do your place. 716 00:48:03,446 --> 00:48:05,812 - Who? - Rosa, my cleaning lady, she's great. 717 00:48:05,982 --> 00:48:08,542 Babe, no. Thanks, but I like doing it myself. 718 00:48:08,718 --> 00:48:10,879 Are you kidding me? You don't got to be doing that. 719 00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:13,989 She won't do it right anyway. You gotta vacuum my carpet a certain way, 720 00:48:14,157 --> 00:48:16,318 - or else it looks... - Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me. 721 00:48:16,492 --> 00:48:19,154 - Why? What's wrong? - Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why. 722 00:48:19,329 --> 00:48:21,388 You're not listening to me. I like my place, OK? 723 00:48:21,564 --> 00:48:22,963 I'm proud of it, I like to take care of it. 724 00:48:23,132 --> 00:48:25,657 I don't care. We're not having this discussion right now. 725 00:48:25,835 --> 00:48:27,496 There's only a few things I really care about... 726 00:48:27,670 --> 00:48:30,104 We're not talking about this anymore. 727 00:48:35,845 --> 00:48:38,177 - Fine, let's drop it. - Good. 728 00:48:41,017 --> 00:48:42,917 Those ones. 729 00:48:43,686 --> 00:48:45,586 - You want those? - Yeah. 730 00:48:48,691 --> 00:48:50,682 Come here. Listen to me. 731 00:48:50,860 --> 00:48:54,261 When we're living together, you're not... 732 00:48:54,430 --> 00:48:57,365 ...going to be doing... any cleaning. 733 00:48:58,534 --> 00:49:00,161 Come on. 734 00:49:12,949 --> 00:49:13,779 Jon? Excuse me. 735 00:49:14,283 --> 00:49:17,150 Look, I know you don't wanna talk to me. 736 00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,220 I would leave you alone, but I swear to God, 737 00:49:19,389 --> 00:49:21,380 I just fell asleep during that entire class. 738 00:49:21,557 --> 00:49:24,890 The whole fucking thing. Can I copy your notes? 739 00:49:25,061 --> 00:49:28,030 I'd ask somebody else, but everyone in the class are like children. 740 00:49:28,197 --> 00:49:32,361 I'm not calling you old. It'll take like five minutes... 741 00:49:32,535 --> 00:49:34,560 - Do you mind? - Fine. 742 00:49:35,805 --> 00:49:38,467 Thank you so much. Do you wanna go somewhere? There's a café... 743 00:49:38,641 --> 00:49:41,075 My girlfriend's waiting at home, so... 744 00:49:41,244 --> 00:49:44,145 Oh. OK, well, then I'll... OK, I'll do this. 745 00:49:52,422 --> 00:49:56,518 I really shouldn't get so high after lunch if I'm gonna be coming here later. 746 00:49:58,327 --> 00:50:00,693 You're probably right. 747 00:50:00,863 --> 00:50:03,889 It is pretty boring, don't you think? 748 00:50:04,067 --> 00:50:05,500 What? 749 00:50:05,668 --> 00:50:09,502 - I said this class is pretty fucking boring. - Oh. Yep. 750 00:50:09,672 --> 00:50:11,867 Like they're teaching you to be a robot. 751 00:50:15,511 --> 00:50:18,537 - Why are you here? - Hm? 752 00:50:18,715 --> 00:50:22,048 - Why did you pick this class? - I didn't. 753 00:50:22,218 --> 00:50:24,243 What? 754 00:50:24,420 --> 00:50:27,912 No, it seemed like a good idea. I'm in the service industry now. 755 00:50:28,091 --> 00:50:30,389 - You mean you're a waiter? - No. 756 00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,926 - Bartender? - Yeah, so, if you wanna move up, 757 00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:34,723 - you gotta go to school. - Right. 758 00:50:34,897 --> 00:50:40,267 But what do you mean you didn't pick this class? 759 00:50:40,436 --> 00:50:43,303 - No, I did. - Did somebody pick it for you? 760 00:50:43,473 --> 00:50:45,907 - No! - Was it your parents or your girlfriend? 761 00:50:46,075 --> 00:50:47,755 - What is it with you? Huh? - No, I just... 762 00:50:47,877 --> 00:50:50,038 - I was wondering... - I'm doing something polite... 763 00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:52,477 That's mine. 764 00:50:52,648 --> 00:50:55,048 OK. Sorry. 765 00:50:58,788 --> 00:51:01,484 Jesus! 766 00:51:01,657 --> 00:51:05,889 Oh, man! Oh, God! 767 00:51:11,901 --> 00:51:15,496 - Hey, baby. - Hi, Jon. 768 00:51:15,671 --> 00:51:17,605 What's wrong? 769 00:51:18,741 --> 00:51:21,141 Remember when we first started dating? 770 00:51:21,310 --> 00:51:25,144 What's the one thing I asked? I said, "Don't lie to me." 771 00:51:25,314 --> 00:51:28,806 - All right, who's talking shit about me? - Nobody said anything. 772 00:51:28,985 --> 00:51:33,445 - You gotta help me out... - You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon. 773 00:51:33,623 --> 00:51:35,784 - Just today. - I don't know what you're talking about. 774 00:51:35,958 --> 00:51:38,449 - Don't fucking lie to me! - I don't know who told you that! 775 00:51:38,628 --> 00:51:40,960 Nobody said anything. It's right there in your history! 776 00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:44,497 All you do is look at porno. That's all you fucking do! 777 00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:48,933 - Wait, wait. My what? - It's in your history. 778 00:51:49,105 --> 00:51:51,335 In your browser? 779 00:51:51,507 --> 00:51:54,101 Come on, don't tell me you don't know what your history is. 780 00:51:54,243 --> 00:51:57,110 No. Of course you don't, 'cause if you did, you would have erased it, 781 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:58,645 like a good little phony. Here. 782 00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:03,218 There. Go ahead, look. Go ahead. 783 00:52:08,324 --> 00:52:10,986 - Baby, I... - Please, no, don't call me that. 784 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,856 - I love you. - Don't ever say that to me, ever again. 785 00:52:14,030 --> 00:52:16,464 - What do you want me to say? - What do I want you to say? 786 00:52:16,632 --> 00:52:20,227 How about, "I'm sorry I've been lying to you since the first day 787 00:52:20,403 --> 00:52:21,734 that we started dating"? How about that? 788 00:52:21,904 --> 00:52:25,396 - I'm sorry. I am. - How about, "I'm sorry I have more sex 789 00:52:25,575 --> 00:52:27,167 with that thing than I do with my girlfriend"? 790 00:52:27,343 --> 00:52:30,710 First of all, everybody watches porn, OK? All guys. 791 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:32,905 Any guy tells you he doesn't is lying to you. 792 00:52:33,082 --> 00:52:34,883 - You are so full of shit! - Second of all... 793 00:52:34,884 --> 00:52:38,342 - You are full of shit! - Second of all, you know damn well 794 00:52:38,521 --> 00:52:40,641 - we do it all the fucking time! - Yeah, I know we do. 795 00:52:40,756 --> 00:52:43,156 - Whenever you want! - So what the fuck is wrong with you? 796 00:52:43,326 --> 00:52:45,760 What the fuck are you doing? How do you watch that shit? 797 00:52:45,928 --> 00:52:48,055 I don't know! OK? I don't know! 798 00:52:48,231 --> 00:52:50,995 How do you watch all the stupid fucking movies you watch? 799 00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:52,725 How do I watch movies? What are you talking about? 800 00:52:52,902 --> 00:52:55,496 I'm saying, you probably watch that shit as much as I watch porn. 801 00:52:55,671 --> 00:52:57,332 What are you saying? That has nothing to do with anything! 802 00:52:57,506 --> 00:53:01,237 - I'm just saying... - Jon, movies and porno are different! 803 00:53:01,410 --> 00:53:04,072 - They give awards for movies! - They give awards for porn too. 804 00:53:04,247 --> 00:53:06,511 Shut up! Shut the fuck up! 805 00:53:11,621 --> 00:53:13,714 I can't believe we're talking about this. 806 00:53:13,890 --> 00:53:15,881 I'm sorry. Jesus. Look, stop it. 807 00:53:16,058 --> 00:53:18,720 I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with me. 808 00:53:27,403 --> 00:53:31,305 I'm sorry, OK? I... I'm sorry. I am so sorry... 809 00:53:36,712 --> 00:53:39,203 I really liked you, you know? 810 00:53:46,756 --> 00:53:49,782 I thought you were different. 811 00:53:49,959 --> 00:53:51,722 But you're not. 812 00:54:14,617 --> 00:54:17,916 So up until now, my record was ten in one day. 813 00:54:18,087 --> 00:54:22,023 And for a long time, I thought I'd never beat that. But today... 814 00:54:22,191 --> 00:54:24,989 ...I hit 11. 815 00:54:27,163 --> 00:54:30,599 And you know, when I have great fucking days like this, 816 00:54:30,766 --> 00:54:35,260 it just reminds me how much I love being single. 817 00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:38,032 I do what I want, when I want. 818 00:54:38,207 --> 00:54:40,471 I don't have to flake on my friends anymore. 819 00:54:42,111 --> 00:54:44,636 I don't have to waste my time in a fucking classroom. 820 00:54:44,814 --> 00:54:48,807 It just feels good, like... like I got my own life back. 821 00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:55,020 I mean, you think I could have hit 11 when I was with Barbara? No! Definitely not. 822 00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,487 So... 823 00:55:16,912 --> 00:55:20,404 - Jonny-boy! - Jesus, bro, I can smell it on you already. 824 00:55:20,583 --> 00:55:23,183 - You got to catch up, baby! - You mean I got to buy your poor ass 825 00:55:23,319 --> 00:55:25,981 - a fucking drink? - Yo, the Don mad anxious tonight. 826 00:55:26,155 --> 00:55:27,679 - Fuck you! - Where's wifey? 827 00:55:27,857 --> 00:55:30,417 - Fuck that bitch. - Oh, shit! 828 00:55:30,593 --> 00:55:32,026 - Damn, OK! - All right. 829 00:55:32,194 --> 00:55:36,426 You can't have this one, 'cause I saw her first, but check out pink. 830 00:55:36,599 --> 00:55:39,500 Yeah. She's all right. 831 00:55:57,753 --> 00:56:00,381 - Hey, fuck you, buddy! - Fuck you! 832 00:56:00,556 --> 00:56:05,016 What'd you say? Huh? What the fuck did you just say?! Hey! 833 00:56:05,194 --> 00:56:08,063 You wanna say some shit? Let's hear it, you fat fuck! What did you say?! 834 00:56:08,064 --> 00:56:12,763 - I said fuck you! - Fuck me, huh? Fuck me? 835 00:56:12,935 --> 00:56:17,065 Is that what you said?! Huh? Huh? You fuck! Ah! 836 00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,675 Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck! 837 00:56:36,158 --> 00:56:38,558 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 838 00:56:38,561 --> 00:56:41,257 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 839 00:56:41,430 --> 00:56:42,829 It has been one week since my last confession. 840 00:56:42,998 --> 00:56:44,932 - Jonny, where were you? - Don't worry about it. 841 00:56:45,101 --> 00:56:46,432 - What did you do to your...? - Mom, it's fine. 842 00:56:46,602 --> 00:56:49,435 - Shh! - Hey, hush yourself! 843 00:56:49,605 --> 00:56:52,073 Mom! It's fine. OK? 844 00:56:52,241 --> 00:56:53,435 Tell me your sins. 845 00:56:53,609 --> 00:56:57,272 Father, I don't know what happened, but... 846 00:56:57,446 --> 00:57:00,210 ...I guess I lost my temper and I... 847 00:57:00,416 --> 00:57:03,317 I punched through this guy's window on my way here right now. 848 00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:05,613 I didn't hurt anybody, but... 849 00:57:06,655 --> 00:57:09,180 Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me. 850 00:57:11,193 --> 00:57:14,754 Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 35 times. 851 00:57:14,930 --> 00:57:18,297 For these and all the sins of my life, I'm sorry. 852 00:57:18,467 --> 00:57:21,959 - Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 853 00:57:22,138 --> 00:57:23,872 Through the ministry of the Church, 854 00:57:23,873 --> 00:57:25,273 may God give you pardon and peace. 855 00:57:25,274 --> 00:57:27,041 I absolve you from your sins in the name of 856 00:57:27,042 --> 00:57:28,669 the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 857 00:57:28,844 --> 00:57:30,209 Amen. 858 00:57:30,379 --> 00:57:34,645 - So Barbara couldn't come tonight? - No, she had this family thing tonight. 859 00:57:34,817 --> 00:57:36,876 But she wanted to make it, she just couldn't. 860 00:57:37,052 --> 00:57:40,044 - She told me to say hello to you guys. - That's sweet. 861 00:57:40,222 --> 00:57:41,883 Everything good with the two of you? 862 00:57:44,326 --> 00:57:47,523 - Yeah, she's great. - She's a catch, Jonny. 863 00:57:47,696 --> 00:57:50,290 Beautiful girl. 864 00:57:50,466 --> 00:57:54,630 I'm telling you, a woman like that make a boy into a man. 865 00:57:54,803 --> 00:57:56,998 I can see it on you too, it's starting. 866 00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:10,844 Holy Mary... 867 00:58:12,021 --> 00:58:13,386 ...Mother of God... 868 00:58:14,890 --> 00:58:16,824 ...pray for us sinners... 869 00:58:19,028 --> 00:58:20,359 ...now... 870 00:58:21,730 --> 00:58:23,493 ...and at the hour of our death. 871 00:58:25,901 --> 00:58:27,425 Amen. 872 00:58:45,554 --> 00:58:47,283 What the fuck? 873 00:58:58,701 --> 00:59:00,896 - The fuck you doing here? - Damn, really? 874 00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:03,595 - Bro, I'm busy. - Word, what you doing? 875 00:59:04,907 --> 00:59:08,707 Right. Just 'cause you don't pick up your phone don't make you busy. 876 00:59:11,780 --> 00:59:14,874 - You smashed up somebody's car? - Who told you that? 877 00:59:15,050 --> 00:59:19,350 Kerry's sister said she heard you broke through some guy's window. 878 00:59:19,555 --> 00:59:21,580 - Well, did you? - The guy was a fucking asshole. 879 00:59:21,757 --> 00:59:23,156 - What did he do? - Why you taking his side? 880 00:59:23,325 --> 00:59:24,815 - I'm not taking his side. - You are. 881 00:59:24,994 --> 00:59:28,122 Stop and think for a second. Stop and think for a second. 882 00:59:28,297 --> 00:59:31,391 I don't care about that guy, I don't give a damn about his car. Fuck him. 883 00:59:31,567 --> 00:59:33,432 What do you think I'm doing here, man? 884 00:59:34,169 --> 00:59:36,000 - You wanna have a seat? - Bro, honestly... 885 00:59:36,171 --> 00:59:38,264 Man, sit your ass down. 886 00:59:44,747 --> 00:59:46,510 All right, what happened with your girl? 887 00:59:46,649 --> 00:59:47,445 Fuck that bitch. 888 00:59:47,616 --> 00:59:49,607 You said that already. What, she drop you? 889 00:59:49,752 --> 00:59:49,979 No. 890 00:59:50,152 --> 00:59:52,848 No? You drop her? After all that, she cheat on you? 891 00:59:53,022 --> 00:59:54,649 - No! - So, what happened? 892 00:59:54,823 --> 00:59:58,259 Nothing! It's so fucking stupid. That's what I'm saying, she's a bitch. 893 00:59:58,427 --> 01:00:00,952 She did drop your ass. What did you do, man? You cheat on her? 894 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:02,427 No! 895 01:00:02,598 --> 01:00:06,329 All right, you wanna hear this shit? It's so fucking retarded. 896 01:00:06,502 --> 01:00:08,800 She caught me watching porn. 897 01:00:08,971 --> 01:00:11,166 - That's it? - Right? 898 01:00:11,340 --> 01:00:13,331 - That's bullshit. - Swear to God. 899 01:00:13,509 --> 01:00:17,775 Oh, my God! OK, hold on, hold on, all right. 900 01:00:17,946 --> 01:00:22,349 So after all that obligatory shit, the friend mixing and meeting her folks, 901 01:00:22,518 --> 01:00:25,715 she just walks in on you, you know, beating your meat to a little video 902 01:00:25,888 --> 01:00:27,480 - and she's out? - You don't know her. 903 01:00:27,656 --> 01:00:30,648 - She's crazy, she's a princess. - Goddamn! 904 01:00:30,826 --> 01:00:32,521 - I know. - No, for real, 905 01:00:32,695 --> 01:00:34,219 that's some crazy bullshit right there. 906 01:00:34,396 --> 01:00:38,196 - Fuck that bitch. - Yeah. Fuck that bitch. 907 01:00:40,169 --> 01:00:43,536 But you still gonna finish that class? 908 01:00:43,706 --> 01:00:45,674 - Really? - What are you, my mom? 909 01:00:45,841 --> 01:00:48,469 No, I just thought it was almost done. How much longer you got? 910 01:00:50,012 --> 01:00:52,674 All right, everyone, three more weeks until the final. 911 01:00:52,848 --> 01:00:54,713 If you have any questions or concerns, 912 01:00:54,850 --> 01:00:57,182 please feel free to e-mail me. Have a good night. 913 01:01:15,704 --> 01:01:18,332 - Hey. - Hi. 914 01:01:19,108 --> 01:01:22,544 - Where you going? - To my car. 915 01:01:26,115 --> 01:01:28,208 - Oh, shit! 916 01:01:28,384 --> 01:01:31,182 No, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine. 917 01:01:33,822 --> 01:01:35,881 Oh, my God! 918 01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:47,567 Should've smoked this before, you might've relaxed a little. 919 01:01:47,736 --> 01:01:49,601 What's that supposed to mean? 920 01:01:50,939 --> 01:01:54,875 I'm playing with you. Trust me, I'm a perfectly satisfied customer. 921 01:01:55,043 --> 01:01:58,137 - You want some? - Thanks. 922 01:02:02,317 --> 01:02:05,252 So I'm parked all the way on the other side. I don't know if you want... 923 01:02:05,421 --> 01:02:07,184 I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy 924 01:02:07,322 --> 01:02:09,051 this and I'll drive you back to your car. 925 01:02:13,462 --> 01:02:17,228 - So, what happened with your girlfriend? - Fuck that bitch. 926 01:02:17,399 --> 01:02:20,766 - That bad? She find somebody else? - No. 927 01:02:20,936 --> 01:02:23,056 Wanna know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. 928 01:02:24,506 --> 01:02:27,669 She snooped around on my computer, she found out I watch porn. 929 01:02:27,843 --> 01:02:30,641 I told her every fucking guy watches porn, she didn't believe me. 930 01:02:30,813 --> 01:02:34,909 She acted like I was cheating on her or something, which I wasn't. 931 01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:37,415 So... we broke up. 932 01:02:37,586 --> 01:02:40,020 And you know what? I'm glad we did. 933 01:02:41,824 --> 01:02:43,849 - Just porn? - Yeah. 934 01:02:44,026 --> 01:02:46,927 - No, I don't buy it. - I'm telling you. That's all. 935 01:02:47,095 --> 01:02:50,496 Was it just once? Oh. 936 01:02:50,666 --> 01:02:54,932 OK. So she caught you once, which is why you're watching it on your phone at school, 937 01:02:55,103 --> 01:02:57,872 'cause you're hiding it from her, but she caught you the second time. 938 01:02:57,873 --> 01:03:00,842 I don't know. Am I right? I'm just guessing, but... 939 01:03:02,044 --> 01:03:05,480 Oh, God, you're like a junkie. You can't stop. 940 01:03:07,182 --> 01:03:09,423 - How often do you watch it? - What the fuck do you care? 941 01:03:09,551 --> 01:03:15,046 - No, like every day? - Every guy watches porn every day. 942 01:03:15,224 --> 01:03:19,160 All right. When was the last time you went a day without it? 943 01:03:19,328 --> 01:03:21,125 - I don't know. - No, come on, try and think. 944 01:03:21,296 --> 01:03:23,856 - Seriously, I have no idea. - Like this week, like this month? 945 01:03:24,032 --> 01:03:27,866 No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it every day. I always have. 946 01:03:28,036 --> 01:03:31,631 Maybe when I was a kid, like before I had a VCR in my room and I couldn't, 947 01:03:31,807 --> 01:03:34,833 but even then I had Playboys, so... 948 01:03:35,010 --> 01:03:37,501 - Have you ever thought about quitting? - Quit...? 949 01:03:37,679 --> 01:03:40,580 You're talking about it like... No, why would I? 950 01:03:40,749 --> 01:03:43,217 OK, let me ask you this. 951 01:03:43,385 --> 01:03:46,513 You're a good-looking guy, I'm sure you attract a lot of young ladies. 952 01:03:46,688 --> 01:03:49,020 Why bother with porn when you can have the real thing? 953 01:03:49,191 --> 01:03:51,421 Nah, see, it's not the same thing. 954 01:03:51,593 --> 01:03:54,585 I mean, real pussy's all good, but, no offense... 955 01:03:54,763 --> 01:03:59,530 No, no, no offense taken. So you like porn better than sex? 956 01:04:03,505 --> 01:04:05,439 Well, what is it? What do you get from porn 957 01:04:05,607 --> 01:04:08,269 that you don't get from sex with an actual person? 958 01:04:10,045 --> 01:04:12,775 - I lose myself. - You lose yourself. 959 01:04:12,948 --> 01:04:16,247 Yeah, just... goodbye. 960 01:04:16,418 --> 01:04:18,909 And that doesn't happen when you have sex. 961 01:04:19,054 --> 01:04:19,918 I wish it did. 962 01:04:20,088 --> 01:04:24,115 Sure, don't we all? Um... 963 01:04:24,293 --> 01:04:27,956 OK. One more question, then I'll drive you back. 964 01:04:28,130 --> 01:04:31,759 - You ever jerk off without porn? - What do you mean? 965 01:04:55,991 --> 01:04:58,084 I'm not like a junkie. Come on, that's stupid. 966 01:04:58,260 --> 01:05:00,956 It's porn, it's not fucking heroin. 967 01:05:01,129 --> 01:05:06,226 I knew a few guys in high school who actually smoked crack, like all the time. 968 01:05:06,368 --> 01:05:11,499 That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop. I could stop if I wanted to. I could. 969 01:06:08,330 --> 01:06:09,695 - Hi. - Hey. 970 01:06:09,865 --> 01:06:13,392 - Somebody's excited. - Yeah. Come on. 971 01:06:13,568 --> 01:06:17,197 - I wanted to talk to you. - Yeah? What about? 972 01:06:18,674 --> 01:06:20,266 Don't you wanna...? 973 01:06:21,710 --> 01:06:24,474 Don't you wanna wait till after class? 974 01:06:33,588 --> 01:06:35,021 All right. 975 01:06:48,437 --> 01:06:51,895 You're... You're intense today. What's going on with you? 976 01:06:52,074 --> 01:06:54,565 - I gotta talk to you. - I didn't think you meant that 977 01:06:54,743 --> 01:06:56,608 - when you said it. - Well, I did. 978 01:06:56,778 --> 01:07:00,305 Well, I'm flattered. What do you wanna talk about? 979 01:07:00,515 --> 01:07:03,177 Um... 980 01:07:03,351 --> 01:07:04,909 So you were right. 981 01:07:05,087 --> 01:07:06,714 - About what, your girlfriend? - No. 982 01:07:06,888 --> 01:07:09,618 I'm sorry. I was right about what? 983 01:07:09,791 --> 01:07:12,521 - I stopped watching porn. - Oh, yeah? That's great! 984 01:07:12,661 --> 01:07:14,101 - I don't know if it is. - No, it is. 985 01:07:14,229 --> 01:07:18,529 I wasn't gonna stop, but then I was thinking about what you asked me before, 986 01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:23,603 if I ever jerk off without watching porn, and I tried to... 987 01:07:23,772 --> 01:07:27,401 - Yeah? And you couldn't? - No, I couldn't. 988 01:07:27,576 --> 01:07:29,100 I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been 989 01:07:29,244 --> 01:07:30,911 trying for a week, it's really fucked up. 990 01:07:30,912 --> 01:07:36,817 - Oh, my God! You haven't cum in a week? - Mm... 991 01:07:37,686 --> 01:07:41,645 OK, wait. No. I want to hear the rest of the story. 992 01:07:43,658 --> 01:07:46,991 - So you haven't watched porn in a week. - Yeah. 993 01:07:47,162 --> 01:07:48,857 - That's good. - What do you mean? 994 01:07:49,030 --> 01:07:50,657 You said you watched porn. 995 01:07:50,832 --> 01:07:54,324 Uh, yeah, but that movie that I gave you was totally... 996 01:07:54,503 --> 01:07:55,993 - Did you ever watch it? - No. 997 01:07:56,171 --> 01:07:59,299 OK. It's totally unlike the stuff that I imagine you watch every day. 998 01:07:59,474 --> 01:08:01,942 - That is not healthy. - What do you mean? How do you know? 999 01:08:02,110 --> 01:08:05,136 Oh, my God, please! That stuff is ridiculous 1000 01:08:05,313 --> 01:08:07,110 and it's nothing to do with actual sex. 1001 01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:09,376 That's why you have trouble with real women. 1002 01:08:09,551 --> 01:08:13,453 - No, I get off fine with real girls. - Yeah, you definitely do. 1003 01:08:13,622 --> 01:08:16,785 Yeah, I just couldn't get off beating it with my eyes closed. 1004 01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:21,952 But didn't you tell me last week that you like porn better than real sex? 1005 01:08:22,898 --> 01:08:26,994 Well, honey, I'm gonna be honest with you, 'cause it seems like that's what you want. 1006 01:08:27,169 --> 01:08:30,627 Look, the way you have sex, it's like totally one-sided. 1007 01:08:30,806 --> 01:08:33,468 It's like I'm not even there. 1008 01:08:33,642 --> 01:08:37,078 I mean, look, it's fine with me. I'm not complaining. 1009 01:08:37,245 --> 01:08:39,839 It just so happens that meaningless sex is something that I want in my life now, 1010 01:08:40,015 --> 01:08:43,507 but you said that you wanna lose yourself in sex. 1011 01:08:43,685 --> 01:08:47,815 If you wanna lose yourself, you have to lose yourself in another person. 1012 01:08:47,989 --> 01:08:52,392 And she has to lose herself in you. It's a two-way thing. 1013 01:08:59,167 --> 01:09:01,135 You know what? I shouldn't have said that. 1014 01:09:01,303 --> 01:09:03,567 - No, it's fine. - No, no, no. I'm sorry. I am. 1015 01:09:03,738 --> 01:09:07,504 - What are you talking about? - No. I'm really sorry. 1016 01:09:07,676 --> 01:09:10,076 I'm... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 1017 01:09:10,245 --> 01:09:13,043 - You didn't. That's fine. - No, I really didn't. 1018 01:09:15,550 --> 01:09:17,381 You know what? 1019 01:09:17,953 --> 01:09:20,080 Let's take a bath. 1020 01:09:20,255 --> 01:09:23,986 - What? Nah! - No, come on. It'll be nice. It'll be nice. 1021 01:09:24,125 --> 01:09:26,992 Come on, let's take a bath. 1022 01:09:32,100 --> 01:09:34,159 I'm gonna get you a towel. 1023 01:10:43,338 --> 01:10:45,670 Hey, where were you? 1024 01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,138 I used one of the towels that was in there, hope you don't mind. 1025 01:10:48,310 --> 01:10:50,175 Yeah, that's fine. 1026 01:10:50,345 --> 01:10:53,678 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 1027 01:10:56,251 --> 01:11:01,655 - You don't live here alone, do you? - I actually do. 1028 01:11:01,823 --> 01:11:07,523 There's some kind of... bad marriage situation here? 1029 01:11:07,696 --> 01:11:09,687 - No. - I know it's none of my business, sorry. 1030 01:11:09,864 --> 01:11:13,800 I don't wanna get caught out and now some guy's coming at me with a bat or some shit. 1031 01:11:13,969 --> 01:11:16,199 No, it's nothing like that. 1032 01:11:17,172 --> 01:11:20,005 All right. So, what is it? 1033 01:11:20,175 --> 01:11:22,871 Since when do you ask me personal questions? 1034 01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:26,742 Since right now. 1035 01:11:27,515 --> 01:11:30,575 - It really doesn't matter. - Well, it seems like it matters to you. 1036 01:11:30,752 --> 01:11:32,720 No, it doesn't. 1037 01:11:32,887 --> 01:11:37,324 Didn't you tell me it's sort of fucked up to keep stuff like this hidden? 1038 01:11:43,465 --> 01:11:48,368 My husband and my son died 14 months ago. 1039 01:11:48,536 --> 01:11:49,833 - Jesus! - Thank you. 1040 01:11:50,005 --> 01:11:51,529 What happened? 1041 01:11:51,706 --> 01:11:54,675 Cars are terrible things. 1042 01:11:56,111 --> 01:11:58,978 I'm sorry, but your hair is so much better this way. 1043 01:11:59,114 --> 01:12:01,674 - What? - I can touch it. 1044 01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:05,752 - What are you talking about? - You put so much junk in your hair, 1045 01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,889 it's all sticky and hard, this is much better. 1046 01:14:29,564 --> 01:14:32,590 ♪ Good vibration 1047 01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:36,361 ♪ It's such a sweet sensation 1048 01:14:36,538 --> 01:14:39,905 ♪ It's such a good vibration... 1049 01:14:45,146 --> 01:14:46,943 ♪ Yo! It's about that time 1050 01:14:47,148 --> 01:14:48,868 ♪ To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme... 1051 01:15:04,399 --> 01:15:06,799 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 1052 01:15:06,901 --> 01:15:09,903 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 1053 01:15:09,904 --> 01:15:11,428 It has been one week since my last confession. 1054 01:15:11,606 --> 01:15:15,064 - Tell me your sins. - First of all, I lied to you before. 1055 01:15:15,243 --> 01:15:16,642 I told you that, uh... 1056 01:15:16,844 --> 01:15:19,779 Well, actually, I don't know if it was you. 1057 01:15:19,948 --> 01:15:21,677 Something I've always kinda wondered is, 1058 01:15:21,816 --> 01:15:23,545 is it the same guy I'm talking to every week 1059 01:15:23,718 --> 01:15:28,382 or there's a few of you and you switch off, or... how does that all work? 1060 01:15:31,125 --> 01:15:35,084 Well, anyway, I told the Father a while back 1061 01:15:35,263 --> 01:15:41,168 that I stopped watching pornography, but that was a lie, I didn't stop at all. 1062 01:15:41,336 --> 01:15:45,864 The thing is, this week I actually did stop, like totally just not doing it anymore. 1063 01:15:46,007 --> 01:15:48,032 So... 1064 01:15:49,644 --> 01:15:53,102 - Yes? - Yeah, so that's like zero for the week. 1065 01:15:53,281 --> 01:15:57,308 Other than that, I did have sex out of wedlock one time, 1066 01:15:57,485 --> 01:16:02,513 but it was different, it wasn't just sex, it was like... 1067 01:16:02,690 --> 01:16:07,753 I don't know, it's hard to explain, but... yeah, that's it. So... 1068 01:16:07,929 --> 01:16:11,831 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 1069 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:15,834 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Really? Same thing, no difference? 1070 01:16:16,004 --> 01:16:18,268 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you... 1071 01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:20,737 Wait! Father, I'm really sorry, 1072 01:16:20,908 --> 01:16:24,275 but could you just tell me how you got to those numbers, please? 1073 01:16:24,445 --> 01:16:28,939 'Cause I... I really thought there was gonna be a difference this week. 1074 01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:35,218 Have faith, my son. 1075 01:16:35,390 --> 01:16:37,950 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, 1076 01:16:38,126 --> 01:16:40,356 and I absolve you from your sins in the name 1077 01:16:40,495 --> 01:16:42,725 of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 1078 01:16:47,302 --> 01:16:52,171 - So, uh... me and Barbara split up. - What? 1079 01:16:52,340 --> 01:16:57,243 - Barbara and I split up. - I can't believe it, this is horrible! 1080 01:16:57,445 --> 01:16:59,174 - Can you get her back? - I don't think so. 1081 01:16:59,347 --> 01:17:01,747 - Did you try to call her? - She doesn't want me to call her. 1082 01:17:01,916 --> 01:17:04,180 - Look what you did. - Sorry. What do you want me to do? 1083 01:17:04,352 --> 01:17:08,083 I just want you to be happy, that's all! Is that too much to ask? 1084 01:17:08,256 --> 01:17:12,249 - I wasn't happy. - A nice wife and some nice kids? 1085 01:17:12,427 --> 01:17:14,987 Look at me! I look like a grandmother, 1086 01:17:15,163 --> 01:17:17,563 but do I have any grandchildren? No! 1087 01:17:17,732 --> 01:17:19,723 Am I a bad mother, is that what I'm hearing? 1088 01:17:19,901 --> 01:17:22,495 - Honey, calm down, please! - You know, Ma, I don't know 1089 01:17:22,670 --> 01:17:24,501 if I really want a wife and kids. 1090 01:17:24,639 --> 01:17:27,073 What are you saying? You don't mean that. 1091 01:17:27,241 --> 01:17:29,004 - Jon, say something! - All right! 1092 01:17:29,177 --> 01:17:31,907 Stop upsetting your mother! What the fuck is the matter with you? 1093 01:17:32,080 --> 01:17:34,378 - I don't know. - Having a family is the greatest joy 1094 01:17:34,549 --> 01:17:37,484 - in a man's life, everybody knows that! - Then maybe I'm not a man. 1095 01:17:37,652 --> 01:17:41,952 'Cause I sure don't want a family. Maybe one day, but not right now! 1096 01:17:42,123 --> 01:17:44,819 - Well, and that's all she wanted. - What did she say? 1097 01:17:44,959 --> 01:17:49,191 - I said that that girl... - I cannot hear any fucking thing! 1098 01:17:52,433 --> 01:17:55,425 - What are you saying? - All I'm saying is, that girl, 1099 01:17:55,603 --> 01:17:57,771 she has her own agenda. She doesn't care about Jonny, 1100 01:17:57,772 --> 01:17:59,452 she doesn't know the first thing about him. 1101 01:17:59,574 --> 01:18:02,543 She just wants a guy who's gonna do whatever she tells him to. 1102 01:18:02,710 --> 01:18:04,803 It is a good thing that she broke up with you. 1103 01:18:06,581 --> 01:18:09,982 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1104 01:18:18,426 --> 01:18:22,487 - Jon, I will fucking kill you! - All right. Easy. 1105 01:19:06,007 --> 01:19:11,639 All right, listen, listen, I gotta go, so I'll see you later? All right. Bye. 1106 01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:13,440 - Sorry. - That's cool. 1107 01:19:13,614 --> 01:19:16,208 - Sorry about that. - No problem. How you doing? 1108 01:19:16,384 --> 01:19:19,012 - A little windy. - Yeah, it's windy out here. 1109 01:19:19,187 --> 01:19:22,122 - So... I'm good. How are you? - Good, thanks. 1110 01:19:22,290 --> 01:19:24,724 - Everybody good? - Yeah, great. 1111 01:19:26,527 --> 01:19:29,018 - Thanks for meeting me. - Sure. 1112 01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:31,665 Hope you understand why I thought lunch was not a good idea. 1113 01:19:31,833 --> 01:19:35,360 - That's fine. You want some coffee? - No, actually I gotta go pretty soon, so... 1114 01:19:38,973 --> 01:19:43,808 - You changed your hair? - Yeah... 1115 01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:49,673 - So? - Yeah, so... 1116 01:19:51,719 --> 01:19:53,880 I just wanted to apologize. 1117 01:19:54,589 --> 01:19:57,820 I lied to you, and I'm sorry for that. 1118 01:20:03,698 --> 01:20:06,098 Well, that's all you're gonna say? 1119 01:20:08,569 --> 01:20:11,834 I don't really know what I do with that. What do I say? 1120 01:20:12,006 --> 01:20:14,702 I forgive you, or we're supposed to get back together or something? 1121 01:20:14,876 --> 01:20:18,869 - No. No, I just wanted to tell you... - You're not capable of a relationship, Jon. 1122 01:20:19,046 --> 01:20:22,743 - You're not. - No. Right now I'm not. 1123 01:20:22,917 --> 01:20:25,681 'Cause you're a selfish person, and you're a liar. 1124 01:20:25,853 --> 01:20:29,721 - Yeah, I was. I'm sorry. - I asked you to do one thing for me... 1125 01:20:29,891 --> 01:20:33,918 Yeah. I was thinking about that when you said it before. 1126 01:20:34,095 --> 01:20:37,531 Well, I said it because it's true, that's why. 1127 01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:43,534 - It's not true. - Really? 1128 01:20:43,704 --> 01:20:46,639 You didn't only ask me for one thing. You asked for a lot, 1129 01:20:46,807 --> 01:20:49,139 a lot of different things and then... 1130 01:20:50,111 --> 01:20:51,578 ...I couldn't do it all for you. 1131 01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:56,046 Well, when a real man loves a woman, he doesn't mind doing things for her. 1132 01:20:56,217 --> 01:20:58,708 He'll do anything for her. 1133 01:20:58,886 --> 01:21:04,017 Yeah, but don't you think that sounds a little bit one-sided? 1134 01:21:04,158 --> 01:21:06,558 No, I don't. 1135 01:21:06,727 --> 01:21:10,288 But that's why you like to watch those whores in those videos, 1136 01:21:10,464 --> 01:21:12,728 because you don't gotta do anything for them, right? 1137 01:21:12,900 --> 01:21:17,769 Yeah, that's one-sided also. Definitely. 1138 01:21:19,574 --> 01:21:23,237 Look, sweetie, I'm gonna go, OK? 1139 01:21:26,280 --> 01:21:28,407 Don't call me anymore. 1140 01:21:37,124 --> 01:21:39,319 The streak is over, motherfucker! How's it feel? 1141 01:21:39,493 --> 01:21:42,690 - I'd rather get pizza with my boys. - That's new. 1142 01:21:42,897 --> 01:21:46,628 Every fucking time we go out, Don Jon smashes! 1143 01:21:46,801 --> 01:21:48,701 But not tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 1144 01:21:48,869 --> 01:21:51,963 The fans are devastated. Jonny, what happened? 1145 01:21:52,139 --> 01:21:54,437 Yeah! Well, I thought it was on with old crop top. 1146 01:21:54,609 --> 01:21:56,770 - No, that girl was annoying. - She was tight though. 1147 01:21:56,944 --> 01:21:58,138 - Eight. - Solid eight. 1148 01:21:58,312 --> 01:22:00,780 Her body was at least an eight, but you didn't talk to her. 1149 01:22:00,948 --> 01:22:03,439 - Who cares how she talks? - You asked why I didn't smash, 1150 01:22:03,618 --> 01:22:07,577 that's why I didn't smash. What about you? You were kicking it to pony-tail, right? 1151 01:22:07,722 --> 01:22:10,623 - How did it go? - You get her name? 1152 01:22:10,791 --> 01:22:13,624 - I got a number. - Oh! Hey! 1153 01:22:13,794 --> 01:22:15,694 - You like that? - Fucking right I do! 1154 01:22:15,863 --> 01:22:20,300 - Easy, easy. Did you get her name? - Yeah! 1155 01:22:20,468 --> 01:22:21,662 Wait... 1156 01:22:24,138 --> 01:22:25,571 - Oh, fuck! - What? 1157 01:22:25,740 --> 01:22:27,207 I saved it as pony-tail. 1158 01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:29,809 - Danny-boy! - Danny-boy! 1159 01:22:29,977 --> 01:22:33,344 All right, all right, all right. Take it easy, take it easy. 1160 01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:47,421 This fucking lady. 1161 01:22:47,628 --> 01:22:51,655 I don't usually like it when a girl looks me right in the eye, 1162 01:22:51,832 --> 01:22:53,595 and this girl does that a lot. 1163 01:22:53,801 --> 01:22:58,033 But I don't know what it is about her. When she does it, I don't mind. 1164 01:22:58,205 --> 01:23:02,539 I just look right back at her, and pretty soon... 1165 01:23:02,710 --> 01:23:04,905 ...I'm hard as a fucking rock. 1166 01:23:05,079 --> 01:23:07,513 It's like she knows what I'm thinking. 1167 01:23:07,682 --> 01:23:10,412 Or I know what she's thinking, or... 1168 01:23:10,584 --> 01:23:14,520 I don't know, it's that two-way thing. I fucking love it. 1169 01:23:17,491 --> 01:23:21,552 And I don't mean love like, "I love her, I wanna marry her." 1170 01:23:21,729 --> 01:23:24,391 I'm definitely not thinking about all that shit. 1171 01:23:24,565 --> 01:23:26,965 And she's not either. 1172 01:23:28,302 --> 01:23:30,395 She can't. 1173 01:23:34,041 --> 01:23:36,976 I guess I just mean love like, 1174 01:23:37,144 --> 01:23:41,376 you know, like when we're making love. 1175 01:23:42,216 --> 01:23:46,414 And while we're doing it, all the bullshit does fade away, 1176 01:23:46,587 --> 01:23:49,613 and it's just me and her, right there, 1177 01:23:49,790 --> 01:23:53,282 and yeah, I do lose myself in her, 1178 01:23:53,461 --> 01:23:56,828 and I can tell she is losing herself in me, 1179 01:23:56,997 --> 01:24:02,162 and we're just fucking... lost together. 100044