Original subtitles

-[snoring] -[clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

-[soft music] -[yawning]

Time to turn in for the night, guys.

[coughing]

You want to sleep down here tonight, Garfield?

[yawning] Some nights, you just want to be closer to the kitchen.

You want to sleep up in my room, Odie?

[barking happily]

Okay. Sweet dreams, Garfield.

[sighing]

[snoring]

[intriguing music]

Take a peek, Norvell. See if it's safe.

Yeah, yeah... Hey, why don't you take a peek?

Will you just look? The show starts any minute now.

[suspenseful music]

[snoring]

[Norvell] All clear.

Hey, Artie, can he hear anything with those on?

Let's see. Garfield, wake up.

[snoring]

Okay, here comes the big test.

-Garfield! Wake up! -[drums]

[snoring]

[trumpet]

We're good. Let's watch TV.

What channel is it?

Ninety-nine and a half.

It's a channel that's on every TV but humans don't know about it.

Now for our final round.

Remember, if you can name that cheese, you can eat that cheese.

Are you ready?

-Oh yes! -Ready, Bob!

Then... name that cheese!

[voices overlapping]

What's the big deal?

It's Norwegian organic yellow brick made with milk from a cow named Bessie.

[voices overlapping]

I'm sorry. The correct answer is Norwegian organic yellow brick made

with milk from a cow named Bessie.

You were right, Artie.

Hey, I know cheese.

Well, since no one got it, we'll add that cheese to next week's cheese jackpot

which will be worth 27 000 milligrams of cholesterol.

[audience cheering]

Stay tuned for The Rat Report coming up next here on the All-Rodent Channel.

For now, bye-bye from Name That Cheese!

Okay. The show we have to see is starting now.

[female announcer] You're watching the all-rodent channel,

the only channel for mice, hamsters,

guinea pigs, rats, squirrels, moles, beavers, chipmunks and porcupines.

Now! Tonight on The Rat Report,

"The Truth About Cats."

What should you as a rodent know about them?

Pay attention, Norvell. This could save our lives.

Cats. They're a fact of life and we as mice have to deal with them.

To get the lowdown, the All-Rodent Channel sent a gerbil

with a hidden camera to this house...

to find out about this cat...

Hey, isn't that Garfield?

[rat] Here are seven things every rodent must know

about a cat like this one...

Number one. Cats like to sleep all day and all night.

[snoring]

Yeah, that's him.

[rat] Number two. Cats love to claw everything in sight.

Number three. Cats love to eat.

-Right again. -Yes.

[rat] Number four. Cats can be mean to dogs.

[Odie whimpering]

Let's watch that one again in slow motion.

[laughing]

Number five. Cats can be mean to other cats.

Here you are, Garfield. Happy birthday.

Oh, this is just what I wanted.

[humming]

|intriguing music]

Hi. I'd like to regift this to someone in Abu Dhabi, please.

Why am I wasting my time?

At Garfield's house, they never throw away anything that's edible.

Number six. Cats can be mean to anyone.

I'm about to deliver the mail to the house with that cat, Muriel.

Just in case I don't return, I want you to know I've always loved you.

[suspenseful music]

[screaming]

[laughing]

Oh, it's you, Garfield.

That's an awful thing you did to me.

I oughta do something awful to you, sometime.

See how you like it!

I'm not worried.

What awful thing could you possibly do to me?

Heya, Garfield! [laughing]

I'll hand it to the man, this is pretty awful.

But the main thing

every rodent must know about cats is this.

Cats... eat... mice.

[teeth chattering]

That's so important, I'm going to repeat it...

Cats... eat... mice.

Well, some of us sure try.

Garfield wouldn't eat a mouse. Would he?

I'm not sure. They say it on television. They must know...

[rat] Our camera-gerbil was unable to get any shots

of this particular cat eating a mouse...

but we did film him eating everything else.

Except raisins, of course.

But it's a fact. Cats eat mice.

There's a name for mice who think they know a cat that won't devour them.

You know what we call those mice?

[teeth chattering]

We call them "lunch."

[female announcer] No cats were harmed in the making of this program.

Unfortunately.

We'd better get out of this house.

Sooner or later, Garfield will eat us.

You sure, Artie?

Yeah. I'm sure. He's a cat, isn't he?

Hey, change the station on the TV so Mr. Arbuckle doesn't find out

about the All-Rodents Channel.

Oh, right.

Hello, people! It's five o'clock in the morning!

Time for me to tell you all about radishes!

We love radishes!

Careful. Don't wake him up.

We don't have to worry about that.

[intriguing music]

There's nothing in this world, nothing,

that could wake that cat up.

[evil laugh]

But you know what goes real well with radishes? Lasagna.

If you're serving radishes and you want your guests to cheer,

just serve them with a side of lasagna.

Did somebody mention lasagna?

Hey, Artie, you really think Garfield would have tried to devour us?

He's tried to eat everything else in that house.

Sooner or later, we would have been dinner.

[ominous music]

How about breakfast instead?

[screaming]

[screaming]

[suspenseful music]

Hey, breakfast! Come back here!

[screaming]

[evil laugh]

[suspenseful music continues]

You're not getting...

away!

[grunting]

One more thing about radishes.

Don't you just love the sound they make

when you crunch them?

No. And get back to what you were saying about lasagna.

[screaming]

Isn't it a little early in the morning for... anything?

[intriguing music]

Artie! We can go back into the house!

And what if we go back in there

and Garfield suddenly gets the morning mouse munchies?

No!

Now, as I was saying... I think I'll start my day with a little mouse omelet.

You'd be great with some home fries on the side and maybe an English muffin.

Hi, Harry! Whatcha got there?

Oh, looks like the makings of a mouse omelet.

That'll be delicious... especially with vermin sauce.

Mmmm.

Vermin sauce?

A mouse omelet is nothing without vermin sauce.

-You have some, of course. -No.

Too bad.

Hey, I think Jon threw half a bottle out last night.

It's probably still there in the trash can.

Hey, thanks. I'll get it and... Do me a favor, Garfield.

Hold these while I fish out the bottle.

Glad to be of service.

[cackling]

[intriguing music]

I don't see it.

It's probably down near the bottom.

Is this it? No, that's a shoe. Maybe it's down here...

Hey! What's going on here? Help!

Garfield! You double-crossed me!

Now you're gonna eat my mice, Garfield!

Garfield...

are you... Are you really...

Going to...

eat us?

Eat mice? Ick.

Why would I want to dine on mice when there are donuts in this world?

Which reminds me. I'll let you two share my breakfast.

Just as long as you promise to eat like mice.

[laughing]

We're sorry we thought that about you, Garfield.

Yeah. We'll never believe anything we hear on TV again.

Oh, there are a lot of things on television that aren't true...

but there's an awful lot that is true.

The thing is don't believe it's true just because it's on television.

Stay tuned for The Garfield Show,

the funniest and most wonderful program ever!

Except for that. That's absolutely true.

I hope they show the one where the two mice get up in the middle of the night

and watch TV.

[chuckling]

[soft music]

[intriguing music]

Garfield!

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR