All language subtitles for 01-Universal Laws of Communication

I know that when you start a course like this

you just wanna get straight into the pragmatics

but hear me out just for a second

in order to build a house

you need to set the foundation

and the bigger the house

the more important the foundations

and let me ask you this question

have you ever put together IKEA furniture

and then you didn't read the instructions

and then you did one thing wrong at the start

and then as a result of that

you have to undo everything

and then put it back and then start again yeah

let's avoid those kind of mistakes

let's avoid those situations

and let's do it right the first time

let me share with you the universal laws

when it comes to communication skills

there are few mindset things we need to

address before we dive into the content plus

in this section

you're going to learn a very cool piece of magic

let's get into what is known as the Universal Lords

now the first one is called 88 keys 88 keys

and before I start

let me ask you this

if I asked you to use your voice and and

and you know

do this and go really high

would you feel like you're being fake and phony

every time I ask my students this

they say yes

I do feel fake and phony

and I need to address this immediately

because it's not fake and phony

and it's not inauthentic

let me explain what I mean by 88 keys

when I learnt this from my vocal teacher

you see a piano has 88 keys

and this is what happens

over the course of your life

you've become very comfortable with these keys here

and we rarely use these keys over here

oh my goodness

we probably

you probably never use this one before

but when I ask you to do that

it feels uncomfortable

doesn't it now

it's uncomfortable

it's not fake and phony

and think about it

how can it be fake and phony

I mean it's your voice

if you can make the sound

it can't be fake and phony

these keys over here are not fake and phony

they're not inauthentic

these keys over here are just unfamiliar

and what's happened is

over the course of your life again

you've just become very familiar with these keys

so instead of thinking it's fake and phony

start to think it's just unfamiliar

whereas these are familiar

and you've got to look at your voice as an instrument

you hear me time and time again

through this course saying

your voice is an instrument

your voice is an instrument

because it is

it's one of the most complex instruments in the world

and you can't think

and have that frame of mind where you go

oh that's fake and phony

this is what's natural

this is what's authentic

because that's gonna stop you from exploring those keys

over there and by thinking

those are unfamiliar

these are familiar

it gets you into the right mindset to

then start to explore your entire instrument

I believe the most inauthentic thing you can do

is only play these keys over here

imagine these are the only keys that I'm using

I feel like this is being inauthentic

I feel like authenticity

I believe that authenticity

is when we can use the entire instrument

to express ourselves completely

I'd like to make another point before we

go on to the next universal law

my students tend to have this block in their minds

where they will say to me Vin

this is my natural voice

but when you ask me that

you know do that with my voice

or do this with my voice

I don't sound natural

I'm sorry to break this to you

but the voice

you have right now is not your natural voice

you lost your natural voice

you know generally

at the age of 2 or 3

you've lost it

the voice you have now

is your habitual voice

you know when we're young

and we admire our parents

or we admire

certain friends at school

or certain teachers

or maybe some

TV star or movie stars

when we admire someone

when we're young

we tend to try to emulate them

we try to emulate their vocal habits

so what happens is

you tend to lose your

natural voice at 2 or 3

and then you adopt

the habits of those that you admire

when it comes to how you use your voice

which then leads us to

having a certain habitual voice

by the time we're in our teens

moving into our adult years of life

now sometimes that could mean

that we develop a good

and effective habitual voice

but more than often

more often than not

it tends to lead us down the path of developing a

less than optimal habitual voice

think of it this way

it's kind of like a group of people who

don't know how to play guitar

teaching each other how to play guitar

the chances of someone in that group becoming a great

musician is

extremely low

this course is about recalibrating our voices

it's about exploring our voice

so that we can become more impactful

and more influential

so don't get too attached

to how you currently sound

you hear me say this a lot

but don't be so attached to who you are in the present

that you don't give the future

version of you a chance

let's get into the second

universal law

the second universal law is

only practice will lead to improvement

only practice will lead to improvement

here I'm going to show you a piece of magic

first of all

so let's cut to a piece of magic now

sorry to bother you

my name is Vin

I'm gonna be your speaker this morning

I'd love to show you a little something

if you don't mind cliff

could I try this with you mate

sure could you shuffle the cards for me

right for sure

so if you if you you shuffle right yeah

so if you shuffle the cards

it means there's no pattern in this pack right

because you shuffled it right

so I'm going to get you now Andrew to help with this

um as well I want you to cut the cards in half

me just cut in half and just leave it there

so I want you in a moment

I want you to take

take the card there and have a look at the top card

just have a look at it

don't show me

don't show anyone

just you have a look at it

and then put it back in the pack okay

good thank you

no way I saw that

no way any of these people saw it

so and I'm sorry

it seems like I'm a bloody gambler

but I'm not

but I'm obsessed with how people used to cheat

and they could do this by reading tells

so you know a card right now

none of us know what it is

I think you might know what it is okay

okay good okay good

so we have to work out what your card is

so I'm gonna ask you a series of questions

you can tell the truth or a lie okay

but if you lie Andrew

you'll do something

to give it away okay

okay okay good

he's a bad liar

you can tell um

so I want you to read the cards out from ace

through to 10

so go ace to do it nice and slow okay

and I want you to look at everyone while you do this

cause it creates more pressure okay

and watch you do something to give it away

when it gets this card and see if you see what I see

so go for it 8

2 3 4 5 6 7

8 9 10 good

you may not notice this

but the pace slowed down towards the end

six and nine

good and oh

you're very good at this sir

I I don't I'm not

I'm not sure yet

but let me see sir

it's the pace slows down

which is because pressure increases

and we're trying to make

ourselves less obvious by overthinking it

and therefore slowing down

so what that means is it's between

you're right

it's between six and 10

so between six and 10

I'm going to ask you this

just in your head

answer truthfully

in your head

please genuinely do this

was your card odd

or even just in your head

okay good so it's odd

so thank you for that

so yeah thank you

they're raising the eyebrows so good

so it's an odd odd

so it's either the 6

the 7 or the 9

I want you to say yes three times

to these questions about to ask

just say yes

regardless of what I asked was it a 6

yes was it a 7

yes what is it

was it a nine

oh you answered just before I finished

so was the 9

nervous again

so was the 9

so your card was the

was the 9 okay good

so was the 9

good now it was the oh

you got it well done

so was the 9

and now I'm gonna get the suit of the card um

can you think of the color

think of the vibrant

so if it's vibrant

it has to be red

so then it's got to be a red

I'm gonna go

nine of hots

was it that

hots yes oh

that's amazing

we should go play poker together

we would be amazing yo

that is amazing

and welcome back

I hope you enjoyed that

when we see something amazing

we tend to immediately develop this thirst

for knowledge

this tends to happen with magic

I know you're thinking right now

how did he do that

let me quench that thirst for you

I'll teach you how it's done

alright this is exciting

what you're about to learn right now

technically

is called the criss cross force

now a force in the word of magic

when you hear the word force

what it means is that

the person doesn't really have a free choice

now the magician presents the choice as if it's a

free choice

but it's not a free choice

you're forcing them to pick a card

you want them to pick

but on their end

they feel like it's a free choice

that's what is called a force

now this particular one is called a Criss Cross Force

so you can take any ordinary pack of the cards

you can give it to anyone to shuffle

so let's say that someone shuffles a card

if you're here

I'd let you do it

but you're not

so I'll shuffle it for you

when they hand you back the cards

under the disguise of saying that look

now that you've shuffled the cards

all the cards are in a different order

is that fair

under the disguise of saying that

what you're actually doing

and this is hiding in plain sight

what you're doing is

as you spread out the cards

to show that there's no particular order

you take a peek of the top card

which I'm pointing out with my thumb

which is the two of spades

so as you do that

that looked very innocent

and very sincere

so all the cards are different

see that you glimpse at the two of spades

then you turn the cards over

now you're one step ahead of the audience

you know that the top card

is the two of spades

but they don't know that

you know that

they don't know that

you have a piece of information

so what you then

say is you use

the pattern that I was using

or the dialogue

I was saying look

in the casino

they only let

you touch the cards once

and that's to cut the cards

so then you can say to them

and the only reason they

let you do that is because that's the only act that is

truly random

so you tell them

cut the cards anywhere you like

and then they cut the cards

now where's the two of spades

it's here so

the card they actually cut to

was the 5 of diamonds

which was a truly random one

what you do is

while you're talking

you said them look

I'm just going to leave the Mark

I'm gonna leave

the cards there

and Mark the cut

and then you bring their

attention back up to your face

and you talk a little

bit more about you know

making sure this is random

you cut wherever you wanted

are you happy with that

and then when they look back down

because of that momentary

misdirection

that when they look back down

they give you

the benefit of the doubt

now that that's the card

they cut to

whereas the card they actually cut to

was this top card

so then without

skipping a beat

you just look down

you go look

you lift off

the top pack and you go

I don't wanna touch that card there

I want you to have a look

at the card

you cut to and

you gesture to it

and then they lift it up

they look at it

and you already know what card they picked

and then once they

put it back down

you go look

I don't wanna touch the card

you take it

now you already know what their card is

and the rest of it is

showmanship

oh I hope you enjoyed that

you know when you're learning magic

you often feel disappointment because you go

oh is that how it's done

damn I thought it was more complex than that

but don't be fooled by simplicity

simplicity is power

notice how I use

the very simple piece of slaughter hand

but I was able to keep an entire table of people

engaged so simplicity is not stupidity

simplicity is distilled power

now if we follow

the experiential experience of your journey

you now feel satisfied

and what that tells us is that

knowledge brings about great satisfaction

that's it though

only satisfaction

there's no fulfillment there

to gain fulfillment

we need one extra step

and that's application

you see this is probably

one of the most original things I'll say

the acquisition of knowledge brings about satisfaction

but it is through the application of knowledge

that brings about fulfillment again

the acquisition of knowledge brings about satisfaction

but it is the application of knowledge

that brings about fulfillment

what I'm trying to say here is that

you will only ever experience satisfaction

with that little piece of magic that I taught you

until you actually perform it

until you apply the knowledge you acquired

and up until that point

you'll never feel the fulfillment

that a magician actually feels when they perform

and the same goes for that magic trick that I taught

you goes with communication

in the word of communication

you can acquire all the knowledge you want

and you satisfy the thirst for knowledge however

you never experience the fulfillment

that can come from applying the lessons that you learn

until you go out there and actually apply it

most people read communication books

or self development books like they read a magic book

they're reading it

for the sake of just acquiring knowledge

knowing how something is done

but they don't truly apply the things they learn

when it comes to communication

there's only one way to improve

and it is through practice

the application

everything you learn in this course

if you don't practice it with your teams

if you don't practice it with those

people that you love

and you don't practice it in your life

nothing will change period

let's move to the third universal law

the third universal law

no automatic transfer of skills

and what I mean by

no automatic transfer of skills is that

everything you learn in this course

you're learning it in a in a vacuum

and there's no

automatic transfer of the skills you learn here

into your everyday life

there's a process that needs to occur

and the first part of this process is called

neutral ears

and when it comes to neutral ears

if you're starting to feel inspired by this course

and you go home tonight and

you neatly change the way you use your voice

and let's say that you're

you're normally very quiet

and you go home tonight and you say

honey I'm home

you will freak the crap out of your behalf

and you freak them out again

because your voice is linked to your personality

your voice is actually deeply linked to your

personality

it's why one of my vocal teachers always used to say

your voice is

your personality

your voice is your personality I mean

think about it

if that is a true statement

which I fundamentally believe it is

when you change your voice

you indicate to others around you that

you're changing as a person

and often this can freak those we

are the closest to out

and this is why neutral ears is so important

because a neutral

ear is someone who has no preconceived idea

of how you should sound

whereas the ones we love

they already know us

and they've already attached

meaning to how we use our voice

they've attached all of that to a certain

personality that they believe is who we are however

a neutral ear again

you could be

quiet and you're naturally a fairly quiet person

and that's how your loved ones perceive you however

when you go out tonight to a

clothing store or a gas station or the grocery store

and you say hi

could I ask you where the peanuts are

I have a craving for peanuts

I don't know why

you'd have a craving for peanuts

but I often do

and if you did that

because they're a neutral ear

they're not judging you

they have no preconceived ideas

and they'll just say to you look mate

it's down aisle 7 damn

you must really want peanuts and again

when they don't give you a negative reaction to you

playing with your voice in a different way

when someone doesn't negatively react to a new behavior

you're trying out guess what

that behavior

sticks a little more

where is what happens

when we go home and we

we try outrageous things

and we try to use our voice in a different way

our loved ones will often react negatively

they often will be the first

to react negatively

and they'll say things like

why are you doing that with your voice

that's just weird

let me show you here a comment that I got when I

was teaching my classes live

let me show you a comment on Facebook

check this out

this particular student of mine was Texan

so let's see if I can do him justice

let's get in the zone

alright alright

alright last night

I was discussing the course with some family members

and I described the five vocal foundations

and how we practice changing them

one person responded that

I hate that

I won't listen to anybody who does that

and so now I retreat back into my old ways

it was great

meeting y'all

or not love today

session as well

they just won't hear about it Yeehaw

you see that

isn't that crazy

one of my students just got inspired to try

new things with his voice

and immediately got a negative reaction from his family

now again it's not his family's fault

it's just again

when we change the way we use our voice

those around us

it scares them

because it indicates a change in you and often

unfortunately

anytime there's change

people just tend to react negatively

that's again

why we need to find

neutral ears

find neutral

ears in your

environment

when you're driving home from work

when you're driving to work

change the coffee place that you normally get coffee at

change the place where you fill up your car

change grocery stores

and then start trying out

new behaviors with neutral ears

because again

when they don't give you a negative reaction

it helps these new behaviors stick

just a little bit more

now of course

we're gonna want our family members

and those that we love

to support us

on our journey

as we aim to

improve our communication skills

some of you even want

your colleagues to be a part of that journey

and if you do want

your families

and your colleagues

and those that you work with

if you want them to be a part of the journey

you have to learn a

psychological concept

called priming or prime

you've got to prime them

and what I mean by this is again

you can't immediately just try

new behaviors with those

who have preconceived ideas

of how you should sound

what you wanna do is

you prime them

you can say something simple as

whether it's to

your family

or those that

you work with

you can say

hey look I'm

currently on a journey

I wanna improve

the way I communicate

I wanna I wanna I

I don't wanna be so

lazy with my voice

I wanna be more engaging

and I'm telling

you this because

I was hoping

you'd support me on this journey

do you mind just

calling me out

if I'm being lazy with my voice

you know I'm naturally quiet

can you just call me out if I'm

if I'm not using

enough volume

and by saying something

simple as that

it changes the

way they perceive

your new behaviours

whereas before

they didn't have context

you were trying to improve

all of a sudden

you come home

and you're being ridiculous

and to them

they'll be like

oh I don't like that

that makes me feel

very uncomfortable

because again

it's indicating change

in most people

let's face it

don't like change

where's the moment

you prime them

that allows them to

perceive the

new behaviors that

you're trying out

from a different perspective

and all of a sudden

you find that many of

your colleagues

and many of

your family members

are now more likely

to support you

and this leads us nicely

into the fourth

universal law

and the fourth

universal law is

all your judgements are temporary

all your judgements about you

and how you currently communicate

they're temporary

please understand this

when we make judgements about ourselves

and how we currently communicate

we make them as if they're permanent

but it's not

I mean we often say things like

oh I'm never gonna be someone that's engaging

I'm never gonna be someone that communicates in a more

confident manner

I'm never gonna be someone that's charismatic

it's not true

even if you say things like

I'm a monotone

we say things like this

as if they're permanent judgements

as if that's how we're always going to be

all of your judgements are temporary

as you learn little behaviour tricks

and as you learn little

methods on how you can change the way you communicate

you can change those behaviours immediately

a lot of my students ask me Vin

is it actually possible to change the

way you communicate

and I asked them the question in return

is it possible for you to change your behaviour

the answer is yes

and if you can change your behaviour

it means you can change the way you come across

you can change the way you communicate

all the judgements that you have about you right now

they're temporary

you can make a decision now

you can make a decision tomorrow

next week next month

you can make the decision to change the behaviour

therefore you can change the way you communicate 100%

so let's not get so caught up in

the judgements we currently have about ourselves

now this brings us nicely into the final and fifth

universal law

generosity and when we often think about generosity

we think of it in terms of money

so oh this person is very generous

because they give away lots of money

or we say that this person is very generous

because they give away a lot of their time

now we never think of generosity in its third form

and this is the form that's most relevant

when it comes to communication

I want you to think of generosity in terms of energy

you see when you think about

generosity in terms of energy

I'm giving you lots of my energy right now

I'm being very generous with my energy

um no that seems like a bit like oh

then you're patting yourself on the back

how gross you're making all of us want to vomit and die

but I'm doing this because I'm trying to prove a point

I could give you very low levels of my energy

and be less generous with it

I could give you all a little bit of my energy and

and not be as generous and be what we call in Australia

a tight ass when it comes to energy and look

I can do this this is really easy for me I mean

if this was the case I could probably record videos and

create online content for about 25 hours a day you know

I could create an extra hour if I was bloody

conserving my energy like this

and and low levels of energy

I'm trying to indicate that by

even kneeling on the ground

I've given up completely and I mean

just to really push this example another step further

I could give even lower levels of energy if I wanted

imagine you watched an online course

hold on course of me delivering it like this haha

I am a little bit extreme at times

but keep it

can you see the difference

I'm being generous with you with my energy

and this is a mindset shift that I want you to make

I want you to all become more generous

with your energy when you communicate

because as you are more generous with your energy

you're going to be more influential and more impactful

and I'm saying this in the universal law section

because we've got to all build our stamina

as communicators

just like how

you have to become more fit if you wanna run a Marathon

if you want to become a more influential communicator

you're going to have to learn

how to become more generous with your energy

which is going to require you to build

communication fitness

I mean I don't like to say this often

but since we're not being humble in this video anyway

I kinda consider myself as the LeBron James

of fitness when it comes to communication

oh and just in case you're wondering

this is my arrogant face no

I'm kidding

it's way worse

what I'm trying to get at here is

I want you to know that this is a form of fitness

and I'm saying it over and over

but I really wanna drive this home

it takes time to build this level of fitness

and once you have this fitness though

you're now able to be generous with your energy

and I promise you

the world is going to react to you differently

as you become more generous with your energy

especially when you communicate

but remember

athletes don't become athletes overnight

it takes time

the first time you try to be more generous with your

energy for 30 minutes

you're gonna find yourself feeling exhausted

I felt exhausted after doing this for like an hour

when I first started

however now

you can't shut me up

which is probably not a good thing however

I'm able to be more generous with my energy

when I need to be

look I don't do this all the time

but however

when I need to

be more influential

when I need to have more impact

I have the fitness to be able to do so

so have a higher level of expectation for yourself

just make the statement

I want to be more generous with my energy

these are the five core

universal laws

that I really want you to start to embed into your mind

and have them in your mind

and the forefront of your mind

as we're going through

the entire course