All language subtitles for orange.is.the.new.black.s01e01.webrip.x264-2hd

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam Download
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,835 --> 00:00:08,171 I've always loved getting clean. 2 00:00:09,463 --> 00:00:11,049 I love baths. 3 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,261 I love showers. 4 00:00:20,934 --> 00:00:22,769 It's my happy place. 5 00:00:29,276 --> 00:00:31,027 Was my happy place. 6 00:00:39,202 --> 00:00:42,289 All inmates in D dorm must be checked for lice. 7 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:46,084 Repeat, all inmates in D dorm must be checked for lice. 8 00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:51,547 Oh, I'll be out in a sec. I swear. 9 00:00:51,631 --> 00:00:55,802 I'll wait. There best be some hot water left. 10 00:00:55,969 --> 00:00:58,138 There wasn't very much when I started. 11 00:00:59,889 --> 00:01:01,808 Man, hurry! 12 00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:04,811 All right, okay, okay. 13 00:01:04,936 --> 00:01:06,980 I'm done. I'm out. I'm totally out. 14 00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:08,940 Damn, you got some nice titties. 15 00:01:10,108 --> 00:01:12,526 - Thank you. - You got them TV titties. 16 00:01:12,652 --> 00:01:15,863 They stand up on they own all perky and everything. 17 00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:17,531 Okay. 18 00:01:19,159 --> 00:01:22,703 You know they sell flip-flops at the commissary. 19 00:01:23,246 --> 00:01:24,998 My money's not in yet, so. 20 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:28,709 You creative. I give you that, high-tits. 21 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:32,172 Now get the fuck out the way. 22 00:01:32,504 --> 00:01:33,547 Okay. 23 00:03:05,973 --> 00:03:08,059 So, there's an entire pig in there? 24 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:09,310 Yes. 25 00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:10,853 For four of us? 26 00:03:11,229 --> 00:03:14,441 It's a small pig. I really wanted to use the box. 27 00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:16,025 It was my birthday present. 28 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:18,278 She's guilty she's leaving. 29 00:03:18,403 --> 00:03:19,779 It's a guilt pig-roasting box. 30 00:03:19,904 --> 00:03:21,655 At least you get something. 31 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:24,492 I'm not getting laid for a year, too, but what do I get? 32 00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:26,119 A baby? 33 00:03:26,244 --> 00:03:27,537 But you can't eat it. 34 00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:32,292 - Are we really gonna eat that? - It's thematic. 35 00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,043 You're not serving time in Cuba. 36 00:03:34,377 --> 00:03:35,753 Pigs. Cops. 37 00:03:40,049 --> 00:03:42,260 How the fuck are you going to jail tomorrow? 38 00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:44,762 Prison, not jail. 39 00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:47,474 You're missing my shower. 40 00:03:48,224 --> 00:03:49,850 Polly, I'm really sorry. 41 00:03:51,227 --> 00:03:52,520 I know. 42 00:03:55,482 --> 00:03:58,651 You focus on how you're gonna maintain your eyebrows behind bars. 43 00:03:59,235 --> 00:04:01,987 You may not come back with a unibrow. 44 00:04:04,282 --> 00:04:05,325 Am I allowed to cry? 45 00:04:05,408 --> 00:04:07,994 No. Seriously, no. 46 00:04:08,744 --> 00:04:13,291 Okay, we are ready. Everybody inside. 47 00:04:13,749 --> 00:04:14,917 - Need a hoist? - Yeah. 48 00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,586 Big girl. 49 00:04:16,919 --> 00:04:18,712 On to the last supper. 50 00:04:21,841 --> 00:04:23,801 - We got to do it. - I know. 51 00:04:25,345 --> 00:04:27,138 God, we really should not have eaten so much. 52 00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:29,641 I know. Come on, we gotta rally. 53 00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:30,891 Okay. 54 00:04:31,017 --> 00:04:34,187 - Make some memories, you know? - Yeah. 55 00:04:34,312 --> 00:04:37,023 You need spank-bank material. 56 00:04:37,315 --> 00:04:40,109 Oh, well, I mean, when you say it like that. 57 00:04:51,871 --> 00:04:53,998 - Wait, I got... - What? 58 00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:56,209 - I gotta pee. - What? No. 59 00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:57,335 - Yeah. - Really? 60 00:04:57,418 --> 00:04:59,546 I just... 61 00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,965 I'll be... I'll be right back. 62 00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:08,179 Hey. 63 00:05:08,971 --> 00:05:10,014 Yeah? 64 00:05:11,265 --> 00:05:12,517 You look beautiful. 65 00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:16,145 Thanks. 66 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,577 Oh, shit. 67 00:06:30,678 --> 00:06:31,803 What? 68 00:06:35,642 --> 00:06:37,644 You look beautiful, too. 69 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:45,359 Come on. Get in. 70 00:07:06,922 --> 00:07:08,257 Hey. You're crying. 71 00:07:10,802 --> 00:07:12,011 Just fuck me. 72 00:07:12,094 --> 00:07:13,346 Piper. 73 00:07:13,429 --> 00:07:15,097 Shut up. 74 00:07:15,181 --> 00:07:18,392 Please. Please. 75 00:07:21,437 --> 00:07:22,689 Okay. 76 00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:03,979 No visiting today. 77 00:08:04,063 --> 00:08:07,400 Hi, um, I'm here to surrender. 78 00:08:07,525 --> 00:08:09,068 Oh, okay, then. 79 00:08:13,447 --> 00:08:15,074 Did he look surprised to you? 80 00:08:15,157 --> 00:08:17,785 When I said that I was here to surrender? Didn't he look surprised? 81 00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,662 Like, "What the hell is she doing here?" 82 00:08:20,413 --> 00:08:23,416 - I didn't notice. - Well, he looked surprised to me. 83 00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:30,214 I look like shit. My eyes are all puffy. 84 00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:31,382 You're worried about how you look? 85 00:08:31,465 --> 00:08:32,592 Well, they're gonna know that I was crying. 86 00:08:32,675 --> 00:08:34,343 It's a sign of weakness. You can't show any weakness. 87 00:08:34,427 --> 00:08:35,803 That's what all of the books said. 88 00:08:35,928 --> 00:08:37,012 Oh, sweetie... 89 00:08:37,096 --> 00:08:38,931 Don't call me sweetie. 90 00:08:39,014 --> 00:08:40,433 Oh, Leonard. 91 00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:43,102 That's better. 92 00:08:49,275 --> 00:08:51,235 I can't take it with me. 93 00:08:54,572 --> 00:08:56,574 Oh, okay. Right. 94 00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:00,912 What are you doing? 95 00:09:00,994 --> 00:09:02,037 What? 96 00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:03,497 You can't put that in your pocket. 97 00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:05,541 It's gonna end up at the bottom of the washing machine. 98 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,293 Okay. Um... 99 00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:08,753 Where would you like me to put it then, Piper? 100 00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:10,296 Up your ass. 101 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,633 There's no room. Apparently, my head's already up there. 102 00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:15,885 I'm sorry. 103 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,055 It's okay. 104 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:24,560 You know what? 105 00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:29,064 I'm gonna put it in my wallet. Okay? 106 00:09:29,148 --> 00:09:33,486 And when I get home, I will put it in your jewelry box. 107 00:09:34,278 --> 00:09:36,238 Until I'm short on rent, then I may hock it. 108 00:09:36,322 --> 00:09:39,742 But I'll try to get it back before you're out. 109 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:47,249 We should go. 110 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,001 Okay. 111 00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:53,840 Okay. 112 00:09:55,132 --> 00:09:56,342 Self-surrender. 113 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,218 Yeah, well, no one told me either. 114 00:09:58,344 --> 00:09:59,637 Available guards... 115 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,597 Got the paperwork right here. 116 00:10:01,681 --> 00:10:03,683 Name is Chapman. 117 00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:09,856 Yeah. Chap, like when your lips get all dry they're chapped. 118 00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:11,148 Have a seat. 119 00:10:14,652 --> 00:10:16,612 Piper. Rhymes with sniper. 120 00:10:16,696 --> 00:10:19,406 Inmate Robinson to the visitor area. 121 00:10:23,202 --> 00:10:24,495 You hungry? 122 00:10:24,578 --> 00:10:25,746 Not really. 123 00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,540 Guard Thomson to the tower. 124 00:10:27,665 --> 00:10:28,791 Eat anyway. 125 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:30,835 It's burrata. 126 00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:33,546 Thank you. 127 00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:42,054 My mother told her friends I'm doing volunteer work in Africa. 128 00:10:44,015 --> 00:10:47,393 I bet they're all appalled that you've gone somewhere so filthy and dangerous. 129 00:10:50,521 --> 00:10:54,984 So I never carried drugs. Just money. 130 00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,236 You were a lesbian? 131 00:10:57,904 --> 00:10:59,363 At the time. 132 00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:01,407 You still a lesbian? 133 00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:03,450 No, I'm not still a lesbian. 134 00:11:03,784 --> 00:11:04,911 You sure? 135 00:11:06,328 --> 00:11:10,541 I once kissed Mary Straley when I was at Miss Porter's school. 136 00:11:10,624 --> 00:11:11,918 But it wasn't for me. 137 00:11:12,251 --> 00:11:13,293 Wow. 138 00:11:14,169 --> 00:11:15,254 Did you know about all this? 139 00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:18,758 No. No, no, I didn't. 140 00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:23,345 I mean, she told me how she traveled after college, 141 00:11:23,429 --> 00:11:25,598 but she failed to mention the lesbian lover 142 00:11:25,723 --> 00:11:27,558 who ran an international drug smuggling ring. 143 00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:29,309 Imagine my surprise. 144 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,438 What on earth did you do with the money? 145 00:11:32,605 --> 00:11:35,441 Well, Grandmother, I wasn't really in it for the money. 146 00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:38,736 Oh, Piper, for heaven's sake! 147 00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:45,952 So this is my last post as a free woman. 148 00:11:46,077 --> 00:11:48,412 - What are you gonna write? - Hey! 149 00:11:48,495 --> 00:11:50,748 Oh, no. You cannot have a phone in here. 150 00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:52,792 This is a federal facility. You have to take that out. 151 00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:55,210 Oh, can I? Am I allowed to go out? 152 00:11:55,294 --> 00:11:56,336 He can take it out. 153 00:11:56,462 --> 00:11:58,839 So no phone? 154 00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,507 - You knew that. - Now. 155 00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,468 Oh, my God, Larry, by the time I get out 156 00:12:02,593 --> 00:12:04,929 there'll have been, like, three new generations of iPhones. 157 00:12:05,012 --> 00:12:07,807 Sir, I can get an officer to escort you out. 158 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:11,560 No, I'm going. It's okay, I'm going, okay? I'll be right back, okay? 159 00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:14,688 I'll take the phone to the car, I'll be right back. 160 00:12:14,814 --> 00:12:16,023 Okay? Two seconds. 161 00:12:16,147 --> 00:12:17,566 - Yeah? - Okay. 162 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,527 Two seconds. 163 00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:24,991 - Chapman! - Yes. 164 00:12:26,325 --> 00:12:29,328 Yes, that's me. But you have to wait. 165 00:12:29,411 --> 00:12:30,663 You're telling me what I have to do? 166 00:12:31,747 --> 00:12:33,666 Get your ass over here, Chapman, now. Move it. 167 00:12:33,749 --> 00:12:34,875 He's, he's gonna be right back. 168 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:36,167 We've been waiting here for two hours. 169 00:12:36,293 --> 00:12:37,628 And the wait is over. 170 00:12:37,711 --> 00:12:39,170 Here's your temporary ID, 171 00:12:39,254 --> 00:12:41,799 you'll stick this on your uniform when we get to that. Now... 172 00:12:41,882 --> 00:12:43,843 - Here. I'm here. Here I am. - Here he is. 173 00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:46,137 - Who's this? - My fianc�. 174 00:12:46,219 --> 00:12:47,471 Yeah? Good luck with that. 175 00:12:47,554 --> 00:12:48,681 Excuse me? 176 00:12:48,764 --> 00:12:50,516 - Any personal items? - Here. 177 00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:55,479 You can't take this check. 178 00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:57,731 But we called last week. And they told me to bring it. 179 00:12:57,857 --> 00:12:59,025 He has to send it to Iowa. 180 00:12:59,108 --> 00:13:00,526 It takes a few weeks to process. 181 00:13:00,609 --> 00:13:03,154 A few weeks? Doesn't she need to buy things? 182 00:13:03,236 --> 00:13:04,321 How it is. 183 00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:06,824 Where do we send it? 184 00:13:07,074 --> 00:13:09,702 Hey, you got that Iowa address? 185 00:13:10,619 --> 00:13:13,706 Any Nudie Judies in here? Skin pics? Naughty stuff? 186 00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:16,084 No. No Nudie Judies. 187 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:19,336 Time to say goodbye. It might be a while till you can visit, fianc�. 188 00:13:22,131 --> 00:13:23,214 I love you so much. 189 00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:24,341 I love you, too! 190 00:13:24,925 --> 00:13:26,510 - I'll call you as soon as I can. - Okay. 191 00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,762 Okay? Please send that check immediately. 192 00:13:28,929 --> 00:13:30,221 Okay. I will. 193 00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:32,558 I love you. Please keep my website updated. 194 00:13:32,683 --> 00:13:33,726 I love you so much. 195 00:13:36,227 --> 00:13:37,228 It's okay. 196 00:13:46,906 --> 00:13:48,239 It's okay. 197 00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:02,421 - What size shoe are you? - Nine and a half, ten. 198 00:14:08,343 --> 00:14:09,762 These are kinda like Toms. 199 00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:12,598 - Who's Tom? - Toms are shoes. 200 00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:15,851 When you buy a pair, the company gives another to a child in need. 201 00:14:15,935 --> 00:14:18,395 They're great. And they come in lots of different colors and... 202 00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:19,772 How nice. 203 00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:22,775 Strip. 204 00:14:45,422 --> 00:14:46,465 Get over here. 205 00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:00,771 Come here. 206 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,577 Are you gonna miss me? 207 00:15:16,495 --> 00:15:17,830 Yes. 208 00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:21,959 Too much. 209 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:26,546 Come with me. 210 00:15:27,298 --> 00:15:28,548 What? 211 00:15:29,508 --> 00:15:30,926 Come to Bali. 212 00:15:32,552 --> 00:15:34,554 Come with me. I mean it. I'll buy you a plane ticket. 213 00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:39,685 Are you serious? 214 00:15:42,229 --> 00:15:43,438 Yes. 215 00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:51,238 Come with me. Quit your job. Come with me. 216 00:15:52,198 --> 00:15:56,493 Well, I'd have to give notice. 217 00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:59,038 You're a fucking waitress. You don't need to give a notice. 218 00:16:00,164 --> 00:16:01,790 Will I get in trouble? 219 00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:02,958 God, I hope so. 220 00:16:07,629 --> 00:16:09,715 You know what I mean. 221 00:16:09,798 --> 00:16:11,675 You don't have to do anything. 222 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:15,971 You're just there to keep me company, all right? 223 00:16:19,683 --> 00:16:21,185 Come on, babe. I want you to come. 224 00:16:21,894 --> 00:16:23,103 And I want you to come. 225 00:16:27,066 --> 00:16:28,901 Yes? Is that a yes? 226 00:16:29,026 --> 00:16:30,236 Yes. 227 00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:33,197 Yes. 228 00:16:33,613 --> 00:16:35,115 Open your mouth, stick out your tongue. 229 00:16:35,532 --> 00:16:37,492 Inmates, an updated facility rules with 230 00:16:37,576 --> 00:16:39,411 inmate discipline list is posted in the day room. 231 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:42,706 Lift up your arms. 232 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:46,919 Turn around. 233 00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:51,715 Squat. 234 00:16:55,052 --> 00:16:56,678 Spread your cheeks and cough. 235 00:16:59,056 --> 00:17:00,266 Seriously? 236 00:17:13,195 --> 00:17:14,405 That it? 237 00:17:14,487 --> 00:17:16,156 One more coming, hold on. 238 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:22,829 My zipper's broken. 239 00:17:25,665 --> 00:17:26,792 First time down? 240 00:17:26,917 --> 00:17:28,127 My first time here? 241 00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,837 Oh, no, your first time in prison? 242 00:17:30,963 --> 00:17:33,257 Oh, yeah. 243 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:36,260 It's not so bad. Everyone's okay. 244 00:17:36,343 --> 00:17:38,429 You've gotta watch out for the stealing. 245 00:17:40,639 --> 00:17:42,641 So, what's your name? Your last name. 246 00:17:42,724 --> 00:17:44,643 Everyone uses last names here. 247 00:17:44,768 --> 00:17:47,438 I'm Morello and that is Watson. 248 00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:49,856 Chapman. 249 00:17:49,982 --> 00:17:51,858 And how much time you got, Chapman? 250 00:17:53,235 --> 00:17:54,278 Fifteen months. 251 00:17:54,361 --> 00:17:57,072 Oh, that's not so bad. I got 34, 252 00:17:57,156 --> 00:17:59,491 but I'm hoping with good time it'll be less. 253 00:17:59,574 --> 00:18:03,870 You... so you're a... they let you drive? 254 00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:05,956 Well, who else is gonna do it? 255 00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:08,334 We do everything around here. 256 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:13,005 Hey, can I ask you something? You look like you'd know. 257 00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,714 All right, which dress you like better? 258 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,133 My top two faves are the ones 259 00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,510 with the half-and-half lids stuck to the pages. 260 00:18:18,593 --> 00:18:22,139 See, I want something that's gonna express my personality. 261 00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:25,600 And the trick is, I wanna show off the boobs and the ass, 262 00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:28,437 but I'm not so happy with the upper arms and the stomach, 263 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,356 so there's the challenge. 264 00:18:33,484 --> 00:18:34,485 Both nice. 265 00:18:35,527 --> 00:18:36,778 That's all you gotta say? 266 00:18:39,531 --> 00:18:42,701 I gotta look good. My first dance is gonna go on YouTube. 267 00:18:42,826 --> 00:18:45,829 Look! I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. 268 00:18:45,912 --> 00:18:48,123 - No. - It's my Lance Armstrong rock. 269 00:18:48,665 --> 00:18:51,960 Hold it up. Let me see, let me see. Nice. 270 00:18:52,044 --> 00:18:53,795 Okay, now lick it, softly and tenderly, 271 00:18:53,879 --> 00:18:55,255 like you would've when you thought he was clean. 272 00:18:55,381 --> 00:18:56,715 Oh, Jesus! Shut that thing off. 273 00:18:56,798 --> 00:18:58,884 You're making a huge mistake. This could go viral. 274 00:18:59,051 --> 00:19:00,093 Seriously, shut it off. 275 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:02,054 - What? - I'm so fat from all the stress-eating. 276 00:19:02,179 --> 00:19:04,723 I really don't want a record of it. 277 00:19:06,558 --> 00:19:08,894 You know, that's one thing I'm gonna do in prison. 278 00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:11,146 I'm gonna get ripped. 279 00:19:12,064 --> 00:19:13,899 Like Jackie Warner ripped. 280 00:19:14,566 --> 00:19:17,569 And I'm gonna read everything on my Amazon wish list. 281 00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:21,990 And maybe even learn a craft, you know? I could be crafty. 282 00:19:22,074 --> 00:19:23,700 I'm gonna make it count, Larry. 283 00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:27,162 I'm not gonna throw away a year of my life. 284 00:19:27,246 --> 00:19:28,705 What the hell are you looking for? 285 00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:36,255 Oh, no! 286 00:19:36,338 --> 00:19:37,423 What is that? 287 00:19:37,506 --> 00:19:39,091 Piper... 288 00:19:39,174 --> 00:19:40,967 Oh, Jesus, Larry. Why would you want... 289 00:19:41,134 --> 00:19:45,847 Why would I want a felonious, former lesbian, WASP-shiksa 290 00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:47,433 who's about to go to prison, to marry me? 291 00:19:47,558 --> 00:19:49,601 Yes. And all of the stress-eating? 292 00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:54,398 Well, because this peculiar, 293 00:19:55,607 --> 00:19:59,361 underachieving, underemployed Jew-boy loves her. 294 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,616 And knows that he will never be bored, 295 00:20:05,325 --> 00:20:10,956 and can't believe how lucky he is that he met her. 296 00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:16,962 I gotta lock this shit down before you leave, Pipes. 297 00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:21,174 I love you. 298 00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:23,885 You wanna marry me? 299 00:20:24,553 --> 00:20:26,012 When I get out, right? 300 00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:27,806 Whenever you want. 301 00:20:28,765 --> 00:20:30,058 I'll be so ripped. 302 00:20:32,144 --> 00:20:36,148 You could wear a wedding dress that's like a half-shirt, you know? 303 00:20:36,231 --> 00:20:37,899 Show off those abs. 304 00:20:37,983 --> 00:20:39,485 Yeah! 305 00:20:45,115 --> 00:20:46,950 Was it your grandmother's? 306 00:20:47,117 --> 00:20:49,661 No, my mom's saving that one for my sister. 307 00:20:49,786 --> 00:20:52,205 This is my great-aunt Marcia's. 308 00:20:52,331 --> 00:20:53,790 She had thyroid cancer 309 00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:57,043 and a series of schnauzers, all named Schnapps. That's all I know. 310 00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:01,714 Put it on. I had it sized. Good. 311 00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:08,263 It's beautiful. 312 00:21:08,347 --> 00:21:10,015 And that's a "yes," right? 313 00:21:10,098 --> 00:21:11,350 Yes. 314 00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:12,976 Yeah. 315 00:21:13,602 --> 00:21:16,229 Will you say that just one more time for me? 316 00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:19,274 But, this time, just into the camera, okay? 317 00:21:19,358 --> 00:21:21,818 Oh, you asshole! 318 00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:23,778 - Come on, I had to capture the moment. - Shit. Turn it off! 319 00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:25,656 - What? - Give me that! 320 00:21:28,158 --> 00:21:30,410 Oh, you're cold. Come here. 321 00:21:30,536 --> 00:21:32,538 Bounce your legs up and down. It keeps your feet warm. 322 00:21:32,621 --> 00:21:33,830 Thanks. 323 00:21:35,123 --> 00:21:37,668 You think your man is still gonna be around when you're out? 324 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,170 Yeah, he'll be there. I'm the love of his life. 325 00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:43,923 Thirty-four months is a long time. 326 00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:46,718 Yeah, but she's the love of his life! 327 00:21:47,553 --> 00:21:49,846 And who the fuck asked you? 328 00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:51,056 Head on up. 329 00:21:51,139 --> 00:21:52,683 All the gates open to one and two. 330 00:21:52,765 --> 00:21:56,061 All right, so his tie is gonna match the bridesmaids' dresses. 331 00:21:56,144 --> 00:21:57,479 There's six bridesmaids. 332 00:21:57,563 --> 00:21:59,606 My cousin's being a bitch, so I'm thinking about dropping her. 333 00:22:08,615 --> 00:22:10,409 All right, let's go. 334 00:22:35,475 --> 00:22:36,560 Hello, Miss Claudette. 335 00:22:36,643 --> 00:22:38,144 Morello. 336 00:22:41,147 --> 00:22:42,399 Watch out for that one. 337 00:22:42,482 --> 00:22:44,610 Don't get me wrong, she's a good lady, 338 00:22:44,735 --> 00:22:46,278 but you don't wanna get on her bad side. 339 00:22:47,028 --> 00:22:48,697 Go ahead. Go. 340 00:22:51,575 --> 00:22:54,327 Okay, I'm gonna send you all through to processing, 341 00:22:54,453 --> 00:22:55,786 you'll get your room assignments, 342 00:22:55,912 --> 00:22:58,998 and I'll meet you back here and show you your bunks. Okay? 343 00:22:59,124 --> 00:23:01,543 Don't look so bummed. Gonna get the wrinkles. 344 00:23:01,876 --> 00:23:04,463 All right, raise your head and look at the lens. 345 00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:07,507 Oh, crap! 346 00:23:07,882 --> 00:23:10,594 New guy, what's your name, Bennett? 347 00:23:11,344 --> 00:23:13,639 Bennett, it's not fucking working again. 348 00:23:13,764 --> 00:23:16,057 - You turn it on? - Yeah, I turned it on. 349 00:23:19,894 --> 00:23:23,356 Wait, I think I got it. Ready? 350 00:23:23,482 --> 00:23:24,815 Yeah. Yep. 351 00:23:26,318 --> 00:23:28,027 Wait, no. 352 00:23:28,153 --> 00:23:30,071 - What does this button do? - No! Don't touch that. 353 00:23:30,863 --> 00:23:32,407 Sorry, princess. 354 00:23:33,366 --> 00:23:34,534 There's a cord right there. 355 00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:37,412 Do you think that that needs to be connected to something? 356 00:23:38,747 --> 00:23:40,332 Shut your mouth and stand still. 357 00:23:44,628 --> 00:23:46,463 - She's right. - Okay, fine. 358 00:23:46,546 --> 00:23:47,673 Got it. 359 00:23:47,798 --> 00:23:48,923 I wasn't ready. 360 00:23:49,007 --> 00:23:50,967 Tough shit. Next. 361 00:23:51,343 --> 00:23:54,845 This is a TB test. Nice veins. 362 00:23:54,929 --> 00:23:56,765 - No track marks. - Thanks. 363 00:23:56,847 --> 00:23:58,558 Tattoos? 364 00:23:58,684 --> 00:23:59,934 Oh, yeah. 365 00:24:01,812 --> 00:24:03,522 Oh, a fish. You like fish? 366 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,694 Saw it on a scuba diving trip. 367 00:24:08,819 --> 00:24:10,069 Thought it was beautiful. 368 00:24:10,195 --> 00:24:15,283 I don't like fish. I like pork, chicken. But it's a pretty fish. 369 00:24:16,660 --> 00:24:17,994 Thanks. 370 00:24:18,077 --> 00:24:19,538 It's gonna rub off when I sweat. 371 00:24:19,663 --> 00:24:22,708 No, it won't. It's waterproof. Stop. 372 00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:28,547 So, when this dries, you should be good to go. 373 00:24:30,298 --> 00:24:31,591 How am I gonna get it off? 374 00:24:31,717 --> 00:24:32,843 Acetone. 375 00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:37,013 Great. Alex, I don't, I don't know if I can... 376 00:24:37,096 --> 00:24:38,557 Hey. 377 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,099 Hey, hey, hey. 378 00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:49,609 You are a nice blonde lady, aren't you? 379 00:24:52,237 --> 00:24:54,030 A proper young lady. 380 00:24:55,615 --> 00:24:58,660 Just picking up her sensible bag in the baggage claim 381 00:24:59,369 --> 00:25:02,748 before heading off to her mid-range hotel to go over her schedules. 382 00:25:02,873 --> 00:25:05,208 Museum visits and fancy dinners. 383 00:25:12,424 --> 00:25:16,010 It's all fine. It's all good. 384 00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:18,471 And I will meet you in Brussels, 385 00:25:18,597 --> 00:25:20,849 and everything will work out perfectly, babe. 386 00:25:20,931 --> 00:25:22,267 I promise. 387 00:25:24,394 --> 00:25:26,271 It's all gonna be okay. 388 00:25:27,731 --> 00:25:28,732 Are you okay? 389 00:25:29,733 --> 00:25:32,068 Fine. I guess. 390 00:25:35,113 --> 00:25:36,615 What's PoPi? 391 00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:37,948 Poppy. 392 00:25:39,618 --> 00:25:43,162 It's a bath products line I'd started with my friend, Polly. 393 00:25:43,288 --> 00:25:47,500 Polly and Piper. PoPi. We're gonna be in Barneys. 394 00:25:48,167 --> 00:25:49,168 Barneys? 395 00:25:50,044 --> 00:25:51,421 It's a nice store. 396 00:25:53,548 --> 00:25:57,135 It's a pretty big case. Criminal conspiracy. 397 00:25:57,260 --> 00:25:59,805 That's what they charged me with. 398 00:25:59,930 --> 00:26:02,432 I carried a suitcase of money. 399 00:26:02,515 --> 00:26:05,184 Drug money. Once. 400 00:26:06,227 --> 00:26:07,479 Ten years ago. 401 00:26:07,604 --> 00:26:09,230 What's the statute of limitations on that? 402 00:26:11,274 --> 00:26:12,484 Twelve years. 403 00:26:13,485 --> 00:26:14,820 That's tough. 404 00:26:14,945 --> 00:26:16,112 Well, 405 00:26:17,697 --> 00:26:23,578 I did it, that one time, 10 years ago. 406 00:26:23,912 --> 00:26:25,079 What did your lawyer say? 407 00:26:25,204 --> 00:26:27,624 He said with the mandatory minimums with drug crimes, 408 00:26:27,707 --> 00:26:30,460 he wouldn't recommend risking a trial. So, I pleaded out. 409 00:26:30,710 --> 00:26:31,837 And here you are. 410 00:26:32,587 --> 00:26:33,588 Here I am. 411 00:26:34,464 --> 00:26:38,343 Costing the tax payers money and sweating in my armchair. 412 00:26:38,844 --> 00:26:41,262 You know, I've been here for 22 years, 413 00:26:41,346 --> 00:26:44,683 and I still can't figure out how the system works. 414 00:26:45,350 --> 00:26:47,686 I got a crack dealer who is doing nine months, 415 00:26:47,811 --> 00:26:52,565 and then I have a lady who accidently backed into a mailman 416 00:26:52,691 --> 00:26:54,693 who is doing four years. 417 00:26:54,776 --> 00:26:57,027 I mean, the guy broke his collar bone, but come on. 418 00:26:57,111 --> 00:26:58,905 I just don't get it. 419 00:27:01,366 --> 00:27:03,409 Are you gonna barf? 420 00:27:03,535 --> 00:27:04,577 Tell me if you're gonna barf. 421 00:27:04,703 --> 00:27:06,036 Because there's a can behind you. 422 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:07,789 I won't barf. 423 00:27:07,873 --> 00:27:10,876 I will be truly displeased if you barf anywhere but in that can. 424 00:27:11,751 --> 00:27:13,211 Not gonna barf. 425 00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:16,840 Miss Chapman, 426 00:27:18,341 --> 00:27:22,303 no one's gonna mess with you here unless you let them. 427 00:27:23,346 --> 00:27:25,097 This isn't Oz. 428 00:27:25,348 --> 00:27:27,600 Women fight with gossip and rumors. 429 00:27:28,226 --> 00:27:32,898 They might peg you for rich and try to hit you up for commissary. 430 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,859 And there are lesbians. 431 00:27:37,402 --> 00:27:38,820 They're not gonna bother you. 432 00:27:38,904 --> 00:27:40,906 They'll try to be your friend, 433 00:27:40,989 --> 00:27:42,407 just stay away from them. 434 00:27:43,324 --> 00:27:49,873 I want you to understand, you do not have to have lesbian sex. 435 00:27:56,004 --> 00:27:57,672 I have a fianc�. 436 00:27:59,257 --> 00:28:00,425 His name is Larry. 437 00:28:00,508 --> 00:28:02,052 He's a writer. 438 00:28:03,887 --> 00:28:05,137 Can he come visit me? 439 00:28:05,263 --> 00:28:07,473 - Is he in here? - Yes. Everybody's in there. 440 00:28:07,599 --> 00:28:10,685 All the people in the PSI are cleared to visit. 441 00:28:10,769 --> 00:28:12,020 He can come this weekend. 442 00:28:12,938 --> 00:28:14,689 I'll make sure the list is in the visiting room. 443 00:28:14,773 --> 00:28:16,524 Thank you so much, Mr. Healy. 444 00:28:17,817 --> 00:28:21,571 You just keep to yourself. And you'll be fine. 445 00:28:21,654 --> 00:28:23,031 And don't make friends. 446 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:29,621 And remember, nothing goes on here that I don't know about. 447 00:28:29,913 --> 00:28:33,123 You know everything about me! I tell you everything! 448 00:28:34,042 --> 00:28:36,628 The webcam horror, the penis shaving incident. 449 00:28:36,711 --> 00:28:38,046 How do I not know this? 450 00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:40,548 What was I supposed to say? It was... 451 00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:42,550 It was a phase. 452 00:28:42,634 --> 00:28:47,179 It was my lost-soul, post-college adventure phase. 453 00:28:48,932 --> 00:28:53,144 I was so embarrassed. I can't believe that she did this. 454 00:28:53,269 --> 00:28:54,980 I can't believe you did this. 455 00:28:55,772 --> 00:28:56,982 I mean, who are you? 456 00:28:57,107 --> 00:29:00,318 I feel like I'm in a Bourne movie. Have you killed? 457 00:29:02,779 --> 00:29:05,824 Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. Baby. Stop. Stop, stop. 458 00:29:05,991 --> 00:29:07,283 Come on. Come on. 459 00:29:09,035 --> 00:29:10,120 Okay. 460 00:29:10,202 --> 00:29:11,871 You should break up with me. 461 00:29:11,997 --> 00:29:14,373 - What? - You didn't sign up for this. 462 00:29:14,499 --> 00:29:18,252 Okay, stop it. Stop it. Come on. Shh. It's okay. 463 00:29:18,628 --> 00:29:20,046 Okay? 464 00:29:20,212 --> 00:29:21,339 Okay? 465 00:29:24,467 --> 00:29:27,178 "Witness states, Piper Chapman carried drug money. 466 00:29:27,261 --> 00:29:29,347 "Piper Chapman was part of the ring." 467 00:29:29,472 --> 00:29:30,682 Were you? 468 00:29:32,017 --> 00:29:33,392 I was 22. 469 00:29:34,477 --> 00:29:36,688 I thought that I was in love. 470 00:29:37,396 --> 00:29:39,065 I was in love. 471 00:29:39,190 --> 00:29:41,359 And it was all crazy. 472 00:29:41,442 --> 00:29:45,738 And then it got scary, 473 00:29:45,864 --> 00:29:47,323 and I ran away, 474 00:29:47,406 --> 00:29:51,202 and I became the nice blonde lady that I was supposed to be. 475 00:29:51,369 --> 00:29:56,499 I knew that she wasn't a good person, but fuck her! 476 00:29:58,250 --> 00:30:01,921 Fuck her! This is not gonna be okay. 477 00:30:03,506 --> 00:30:04,757 - No. - No. 478 00:30:04,924 --> 00:30:06,217 It's not. 479 00:30:11,848 --> 00:30:14,893 But we'll deal with it, okay? 480 00:30:17,562 --> 00:30:19,313 We'll figure it out. 481 00:30:20,190 --> 00:30:21,399 Have you called a lawyer? 482 00:30:22,483 --> 00:30:24,235 - No. - I'll call my dad. 483 00:30:24,318 --> 00:30:26,779 No! No. Please don't call your dad. He already hates me. 484 00:30:26,905 --> 00:30:30,116 Yeah, well, I love you. 485 00:30:30,241 --> 00:30:36,039 And, and he loves me, so, here we go. 486 00:30:36,706 --> 00:30:38,708 All right, we gotta hustle, 'cause the count's soon. 487 00:30:38,791 --> 00:30:41,211 Uh, rooms are there. Dorms are down there. 488 00:30:41,293 --> 00:30:43,254 Now, you are not allowed down there. 489 00:30:43,337 --> 00:30:45,423 It's out of bounds for you guys until you get assigned there. 490 00:30:45,548 --> 00:30:47,133 You understand? 491 00:30:47,258 --> 00:30:48,801 Namaste, Jones! 492 00:30:48,927 --> 00:30:49,928 Namaste! 493 00:30:50,011 --> 00:30:51,804 She teaches yoga if you ever want. 494 00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:54,015 And she's good. She's very spiritual. 495 00:30:54,099 --> 00:30:55,934 All right, we got some offices here. 496 00:30:56,017 --> 00:30:59,104 This is the dining hall, common room, counselor's office. 497 00:30:59,229 --> 00:31:00,730 Who you got for a counselor? 498 00:31:00,813 --> 00:31:02,148 Uh, Healy. 499 00:31:02,273 --> 00:31:03,441 Okay. Yeah. 500 00:31:03,566 --> 00:31:04,609 What? 501 00:31:04,692 --> 00:31:07,403 Nah, it's fine. It's fine. He does his paperwork. That's a good thing. 502 00:31:08,654 --> 00:31:10,573 When do we get outfits like everybody? 503 00:31:10,656 --> 00:31:13,118 I don't know. Maybe tomorrow after breakfast. 504 00:31:13,243 --> 00:31:15,453 You go down, you speak to the lady... 505 00:31:17,455 --> 00:31:18,581 What the fuck? 506 00:31:19,832 --> 00:31:20,875 Friend of yours? 507 00:31:21,876 --> 00:31:24,420 No. It's my mom. 508 00:31:25,421 --> 00:31:29,008 All right, Chapman, Diaz, this is you. 509 00:31:29,134 --> 00:31:31,343 DeMarco, this is Chapman. She's new. 510 00:31:31,469 --> 00:31:32,887 Self-surrender. You show her what's what? 511 00:31:32,971 --> 00:31:34,180 Sure. 512 00:31:34,305 --> 00:31:37,391 Okay, Mendoza, this is Diaz. Go, go. She'll help you. 513 00:31:40,603 --> 00:31:42,063 Um, I don't speak Spanish. 514 00:31:43,064 --> 00:31:44,857 Great. Another fucking coconut. 515 00:31:44,983 --> 00:31:47,110 What's the matter with your mother, she don't teach you Spanish? 516 00:31:49,695 --> 00:31:53,992 Here. Here's some tissues. First night's always hard. 517 00:31:54,659 --> 00:31:58,329 And a toothbrush. They don't give you one. 518 00:31:59,371 --> 00:32:01,540 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for everything. 519 00:32:01,666 --> 00:32:04,335 No, no. It's no problem. We look out for our own. 520 00:32:05,795 --> 00:32:06,879 Our own? 521 00:32:07,005 --> 00:32:11,092 Oh, don't get all PC on me. It's tribal, not racist. I'll see you around. 522 00:32:17,974 --> 00:32:19,017 Tell me your name again? 523 00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:22,103 Piper. Chapman. 524 00:32:22,603 --> 00:32:23,729 That's Miss Rosa. 525 00:32:25,023 --> 00:32:28,400 And that's Nichols. Just got out of SHU a week ago. 526 00:32:28,526 --> 00:32:31,946 Told a CO to kiss her ass. Dumb. 527 00:32:32,030 --> 00:32:33,990 Why make trouble for yourself, you know? 528 00:32:34,073 --> 00:32:35,825 SHU. That's solitary? 529 00:32:35,908 --> 00:32:38,995 Yep. And you don't want it, honey. Trust me. 530 00:32:39,537 --> 00:32:41,914 Here's some toilet paper. You gotta take it with you. 531 00:32:42,874 --> 00:32:45,084 Thanks. What's that thing? 532 00:32:46,794 --> 00:32:50,381 Oh, that's my machine. I need it at night. 533 00:32:50,506 --> 00:32:52,424 When I first got here, I had a massive heart attack. 534 00:32:54,177 --> 00:32:55,220 Do you know about the count? 535 00:32:55,303 --> 00:32:56,971 Wait, can you go back to the heart attack? 536 00:32:57,055 --> 00:32:58,223 I don't like to dwell. 537 00:32:58,389 --> 00:33:00,391 How do I make a phone call? 538 00:33:00,516 --> 00:33:04,687 You need a PAC number. Fill out a form. Whole rigmarole. 539 00:33:04,770 --> 00:33:07,439 But maybe Caputo will let you make a call later. 540 00:33:07,565 --> 00:33:09,525 It helps if you cry. 541 00:33:13,154 --> 00:33:14,280 Don't make your bed! 542 00:33:14,405 --> 00:33:15,406 What? 543 00:33:15,489 --> 00:33:16,908 We'll make it for you. 544 00:33:17,033 --> 00:33:18,576 Oh, no, that's okay. You don't need to do that. 545 00:33:18,784 --> 00:33:19,785 Honey! 546 00:33:20,661 --> 00:33:24,082 We'll make the bed. 547 00:33:24,165 --> 00:33:25,166 We know how. 548 00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:27,293 I know how to make a bed. 549 00:33:27,418 --> 00:33:29,670 We know how to do it so we'll pass inspection. 550 00:33:29,754 --> 00:33:33,841 You can help clean. We clean everything with Maxi Pads. 551 00:33:34,425 --> 00:33:35,426 Seriously? 552 00:33:35,593 --> 00:33:38,054 Yep. It's a head-scratcher, but that's what we got. 553 00:33:38,763 --> 00:33:40,765 So, we make our beds in the morning before they... 554 00:33:40,890 --> 00:33:44,643 No. You sleep on top of the bed. With a blanket over you. 555 00:33:45,270 --> 00:33:46,771 What if I want to sleep in the bed? 556 00:33:46,896 --> 00:33:49,065 Look, you can do what you want, 557 00:33:49,148 --> 00:33:52,277 but you will be the only one in this entire prison that does. 558 00:33:52,402 --> 00:33:55,154 You want that? Be my guest. 559 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,199 Count time! Count time! Count time, ladies! 560 00:33:58,616 --> 00:34:01,452 That light comes on, you need to be where you're supposed to be, 561 00:34:01,577 --> 00:34:05,123 and you don't move until it goes off. Dinner's after. 562 00:34:06,207 --> 00:34:08,293 Hey, blanca. You speak Spanish? 563 00:34:09,127 --> 00:34:12,004 Un poco. Entiendo mas de lo que puedo hablar. 564 00:34:12,588 --> 00:34:15,967 You see, fucking white girl speaks Spanish. 565 00:34:30,898 --> 00:34:31,941 So? 566 00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:33,401 Shh. Wait. 567 00:34:44,996 --> 00:34:46,247 Dinner's at 4:30? 568 00:34:46,372 --> 00:34:48,207 Recount, ladies! 569 00:34:49,125 --> 00:34:51,461 They always screw it up. 570 00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:53,463 How hard is it to fucking count? 571 00:34:53,545 --> 00:34:55,465 Nicky, this is uh... 572 00:34:55,589 --> 00:34:57,008 Piper. Uh, Chapman. 573 00:34:58,134 --> 00:35:00,011 Look at you, blondie. What'd you do? 574 00:35:00,094 --> 00:35:02,763 Aren't you not supposed to ask that question? 575 00:35:02,847 --> 00:35:04,515 I read that you're not supposed to ask that. 576 00:35:05,350 --> 00:35:06,767 You read that? 577 00:35:07,559 --> 00:35:10,146 What, you studied for prison? 578 00:35:19,197 --> 00:35:20,198 What did you do? 579 00:35:20,323 --> 00:35:21,907 I can't understand your French. 580 00:35:22,033 --> 00:35:24,869 Mon bag! Bag! 581 00:35:24,952 --> 00:35:26,371 My bag hasn't arrived. 582 00:35:26,537 --> 00:35:29,374 Oh! The bags do not make it onto the right flight sometime. 583 00:35:29,457 --> 00:35:31,417 Wait for the next shuttle from Paris. 584 00:35:31,542 --> 00:35:33,336 It's probably on that plane. 585 00:35:59,487 --> 00:36:01,239 Mon bag! 586 00:36:01,322 --> 00:36:02,407 My bag. 587 00:36:16,587 --> 00:36:18,089 - Bonjour. - Oh! Bonjour. 588 00:36:19,257 --> 00:36:22,093 Welcome to Belgium. All good? 589 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,596 I was starting to worry. Where did you come from? 590 00:36:25,721 --> 00:36:26,722 Over there. 591 00:36:27,806 --> 00:36:29,016 You didn't go through customs? 592 00:36:29,183 --> 00:36:31,519 No, I just walked out of that door and it brought me right here. 593 00:36:31,602 --> 00:36:35,689 You skipped customs? Holy shit! It's genius. 594 00:36:35,814 --> 00:36:38,401 - Well, should I go back? - Fuck, no. We're going to the hotel. 595 00:36:38,484 --> 00:36:40,694 I'm gonna eat you for dinner. 596 00:36:41,820 --> 00:36:44,782 Alex, I was so freaked out when the bag didn't show up, I almost bailed. 597 00:36:44,949 --> 00:36:46,492 Well, it's good thing you didn't. 598 00:36:46,617 --> 00:36:47,910 There's over 50 grand in that bag. 599 00:36:47,993 --> 00:36:50,329 Kubra would have had you killed. Come on. 600 00:36:52,039 --> 00:36:53,958 Keep moving. You're blocking up the works. 601 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,386 Okay, go sit there. She's a nice white lady. 602 00:37:07,179 --> 00:37:08,180 Thanks. 603 00:37:18,816 --> 00:37:19,984 Hi. 604 00:37:21,652 --> 00:37:22,820 It's okay if I sit here? 605 00:37:23,446 --> 00:37:24,655 Sure, newbie. 606 00:37:26,657 --> 00:37:27,741 I'm Jones. 607 00:37:28,409 --> 00:37:29,577 Chapman. 608 00:37:30,786 --> 00:37:32,246 You doing okay, Chapman? 609 00:37:32,997 --> 00:37:35,333 I don't really know how to answer that question. 610 00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:39,086 Everything's pretty surreal right now. 611 00:37:42,256 --> 00:37:44,216 Do you know what a mandala is? 612 00:37:44,716 --> 00:37:45,759 Um... 613 00:37:45,843 --> 00:37:48,179 Those are those round Buddhist art things. 614 00:37:48,387 --> 00:37:52,183 The Tibetan monks make them out of dyed sand 615 00:37:52,308 --> 00:37:55,811 laid out into big, beautiful designs. 616 00:37:56,187 --> 00:37:59,857 And when they're done, after days or weeks of work, 617 00:37:59,982 --> 00:38:02,026 they wipe it all away. 618 00:38:03,528 --> 00:38:06,531 Wow. That's a lot. 619 00:38:06,947 --> 00:38:10,951 Try to look at your experience here as a mandala, Chapman. 620 00:38:12,203 --> 00:38:17,208 Work hard to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can. 621 00:38:17,291 --> 00:38:21,003 And when you're done, pack it in and know it was all temporary. 622 00:38:21,629 --> 00:38:25,966 You have to remember that. It's all temporary. 623 00:38:27,385 --> 00:38:29,178 It's all temporary. 624 00:38:30,388 --> 00:38:35,767 I'm telling you. Surviving here is all about perspective. 625 00:38:38,896 --> 00:38:40,064 Don't eat the pudding. 626 00:38:40,189 --> 00:38:42,191 What's the perspective on the pudding? 627 00:38:42,274 --> 00:38:44,443 It comes in big cans marked "Desert Storm." 628 00:38:45,361 --> 00:38:49,574 Sometimes the kitchen has to scrape the mold off the top before they serve it. 629 00:38:50,115 --> 00:38:51,367 Hi, there. 630 00:38:52,034 --> 00:38:54,828 Hi, Sister. This is Chapman. 631 00:38:55,454 --> 00:38:56,622 Sister? As in nun? 632 00:38:56,830 --> 00:38:59,208 Yep. A killer nun. 633 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,044 Now, stop it. She doesn't know you're joking. 634 00:39:02,127 --> 00:39:05,881 She chained herself to a flagpole at a nuclear test site. 635 00:39:10,219 --> 00:39:11,596 Amen. 636 00:39:11,679 --> 00:39:15,224 So. Now, Chapman, what's your story? 637 00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:18,060 I chained myself to a drug dealer. 638 00:39:20,145 --> 00:39:23,608 Piper, you can't be taking advice from a nun and a hippie. 639 00:39:23,815 --> 00:39:28,279 By all means, seek out the supreme wisdom of the junkie philosopher. 640 00:39:28,779 --> 00:39:29,947 I pray for you, Nicky. 641 00:39:30,197 --> 00:39:33,242 Aw. I pray for you, too, Sister. 642 00:39:33,325 --> 00:39:36,828 I lust after you, Yoga Jones, those sinewy arms. 643 00:39:38,163 --> 00:39:39,624 You gotta love a yoga body. 644 00:39:39,749 --> 00:39:42,293 You should come to class. Watch me chaturanga. 645 00:39:42,501 --> 00:39:44,503 That whole common room smells like farts. 646 00:39:44,629 --> 00:39:46,130 It kind of takes away the magic for me. 647 00:39:46,547 --> 00:39:47,715 You like pussy, Piper? 648 00:39:48,173 --> 00:39:50,468 Or you prefer pipe as your name suggests? 649 00:39:50,551 --> 00:39:52,803 I'm feeling some Sapphic vibes coming off you. 650 00:39:52,928 --> 00:39:54,346 Oh, leave her alone. 651 00:39:55,889 --> 00:39:56,974 Come on, Sister. 652 00:39:57,099 --> 00:39:59,143 You know you would've gone my way if you hadn't married Jesus. 653 00:40:06,525 --> 00:40:07,610 Thank you, Mommy. 654 00:40:09,987 --> 00:40:11,029 Thanks, Red. 655 00:40:14,241 --> 00:40:15,326 Thanks, Red. 656 00:40:18,746 --> 00:40:19,871 She's your mom? 657 00:40:20,038 --> 00:40:21,415 Maternal figurehead. 658 00:40:21,499 --> 00:40:24,251 My actual mother lives in Brazil with her boyfriend, Paolo, 659 00:40:24,335 --> 00:40:26,962 who destroys rainforests and collects photorealistic art. 660 00:40:27,045 --> 00:40:29,006 She is a cunt. I am an embarrassment. 661 00:40:29,089 --> 00:40:31,717 Hey, Red. You got one of those for me? 662 00:40:32,384 --> 00:40:34,178 You got what I asked you for? 663 00:40:34,595 --> 00:40:36,263 Uh, I'm working on it. 664 00:40:37,014 --> 00:40:41,352 So am I. Treats come when I sleep better. 665 00:40:46,816 --> 00:40:49,318 How hard is it to get me a board from the woodshop? 666 00:40:49,401 --> 00:40:50,944 People. 667 00:40:53,197 --> 00:40:54,323 Who's this? 668 00:40:54,699 --> 00:40:58,828 This is Chapman. She's new. Self-surrender. Thinks she's fancy. 669 00:41:00,454 --> 00:41:04,208 Here, fancy. Have a yogurt. 670 00:41:07,961 --> 00:41:09,547 What do I have to do for it? 671 00:41:10,548 --> 00:41:14,385 You're new. You're one of us. Consider it a gift. 672 00:41:15,177 --> 00:41:19,348 Thank you. Thank you so much. 673 00:41:23,060 --> 00:41:25,229 The food here is disgusting. 674 00:41:35,030 --> 00:41:36,114 What? 675 00:41:36,323 --> 00:41:38,325 Did I mention that Red runs the kitchen? 676 00:41:41,036 --> 00:41:44,498 Shit. I'm sorry. 677 00:41:49,545 --> 00:41:50,880 Honey. 678 00:41:51,881 --> 00:41:54,258 I know you just got here, so you don't know what's what. 679 00:41:54,550 --> 00:41:56,134 Well, I'm gonna tell you. 680 00:41:56,260 --> 00:42:01,056 You don't like the food? It's no problem. 681 00:42:08,522 --> 00:42:12,568 Holy shit. That was an epic fuck-up. 682 00:42:15,362 --> 00:42:16,363 Can I help you? 683 00:42:16,530 --> 00:42:20,451 Um, I'm Chapman. I'm new today. 684 00:42:20,659 --> 00:42:24,079 They told me I should talk to you. I don't have a PAC number. 685 00:42:24,246 --> 00:42:25,414 Who's they? 686 00:42:28,125 --> 00:42:32,504 Mr. Caputo, please let me call my fianc�. 687 00:42:32,630 --> 00:42:34,381 I have to let him know I'm okay. 688 00:42:35,925 --> 00:42:38,928 Two minutes. You got two minutes, that's it. 689 00:42:39,010 --> 00:42:41,096 Close the door, I don't want a run on my office. 690 00:42:41,221 --> 00:42:43,641 Inmate Gonzalez report to the supply room. 691 00:42:49,647 --> 00:42:51,356 Dial nine to get out. 692 00:43:01,533 --> 00:43:03,494 - Hello, Larry's phone. - Amy? 693 00:43:03,619 --> 00:43:05,245 - Piper? - Give me the phone. 694 00:43:05,329 --> 00:43:07,122 One second. Can I say hello? 695 00:43:07,247 --> 00:43:09,500 Amy, I only have two minutes to talk. 696 00:43:09,625 --> 00:43:12,336 Are you okay? What's it like in there? 697 00:43:12,419 --> 00:43:15,714 Howard and I brought Chinese. Larry is so upset. 698 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:16,841 - Mom. - Let him talk, Amy. 699 00:43:16,966 --> 00:43:17,967 Ma, give me the phone. 700 00:43:18,049 --> 00:43:19,593 Amy, please let me talk to Larry. 701 00:43:19,677 --> 00:43:22,638 You know, I read that when Martha Stewart was in prison, 702 00:43:22,721 --> 00:43:24,139 she foraged for dandelions. 703 00:43:24,306 --> 00:43:25,724 Okay, Mom, please. 704 00:43:25,850 --> 00:43:28,602 - I was talking! - Amy, it's not always about you, dear. 705 00:43:28,727 --> 00:43:30,521 - What is that supposed to mean? - Piper? 706 00:43:30,604 --> 00:43:32,648 I only have a minute now. I'm calling from the guard's office. 707 00:43:32,731 --> 00:43:34,483 Hey, are you okay? What's going on? 708 00:43:34,566 --> 00:43:35,860 I love you so much. 709 00:43:35,943 --> 00:43:37,820 I love you, too. Are you okay? 710 00:43:37,903 --> 00:43:40,531 I'm wearing granny panties and I've only spoken to white people. 711 00:43:40,656 --> 00:43:42,908 You joining the Aryan Nation? 712 00:43:43,033 --> 00:43:44,869 I don't know. But there's a nun here. 713 00:43:45,035 --> 00:43:47,204 And you're not allowed to sleep in your bed. Only on top of it. 714 00:43:47,287 --> 00:43:48,330 That's weird. 715 00:43:48,455 --> 00:43:49,498 I know, right? 716 00:43:49,581 --> 00:43:50,624 And when I got here, they gave me these 717 00:43:50,708 --> 00:43:53,002 little bars of hotel soap, but no shampoo. 718 00:43:53,377 --> 00:43:57,088 But I think that I can borrow some from other white people. 719 00:43:58,215 --> 00:43:59,758 I love you so much. 720 00:44:01,343 --> 00:44:03,846 One of my roommates had a massive heart attack when she got here. 721 00:44:03,971 --> 00:44:06,223 Okay, you are not allowed to have a heart attack. 722 00:44:07,432 --> 00:44:08,600 What did you have for dinner? 723 00:44:09,476 --> 00:44:11,520 My folks brought from The Palace. 724 00:44:11,645 --> 00:44:13,939 Oh. The Palace. 725 00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:16,567 Dinner here was scary liver. 726 00:44:17,442 --> 00:44:19,611 And I insulted the chef, 727 00:44:19,737 --> 00:44:22,113 and you're not supposed to eat the pudding 728 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:23,615 because it's been to Desert Storm. 729 00:44:23,741 --> 00:44:26,577 Piper, listen to me. You cannot lose your shit, okay? 730 00:44:26,660 --> 00:44:29,038 I mean it. Please, please tell me you're keeping it together. 731 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,999 Please, please tell me you're okay. 732 00:44:32,165 --> 00:44:35,044 - Wrap it up, Chapman. - I'm Chapman here. 733 00:44:35,252 --> 00:44:41,091 You're my Pipes, okay? And, uh, I love you, and this is only temporary. 734 00:44:42,092 --> 00:44:45,095 That's what Yoga Jones said. But it's just been one day. 735 00:44:45,178 --> 00:44:46,638 And I can't, I can't! 736 00:44:46,764 --> 00:44:48,933 Piper, you can. You so can, okay? 737 00:44:49,058 --> 00:44:51,936 You are so strong, babe. You... 738 00:44:52,019 --> 00:44:53,353 And you love adventure, right? 739 00:44:53,437 --> 00:44:55,731 That's what got you in there, and that's what's gonna get you through. 740 00:44:55,814 --> 00:44:59,735 This is all just a big adventure with liver and Yoga Jones, 741 00:44:59,818 --> 00:45:01,612 and racism. 742 00:45:01,779 --> 00:45:04,031 You can come on Friday. Please come on Friday. 743 00:45:04,113 --> 00:45:05,365 Tell my mother to come on Saturday, 744 00:45:05,449 --> 00:45:07,242 and don't tell her that you're coming on Friday, okay? 745 00:45:07,325 --> 00:45:09,118 Of course. Okay? 746 00:45:09,202 --> 00:45:11,162 Two sleeps. That's it. 747 00:45:11,288 --> 00:45:13,540 Two sleeps on top of your bed. 748 00:45:13,624 --> 00:45:14,959 And then, I will be there. 749 00:45:15,667 --> 00:45:18,295 Coming up on lights out. Say goodbye. 750 00:45:19,128 --> 00:45:20,129 I have to go. 751 00:45:20,255 --> 00:45:21,381 Hey, no crying. 752 00:45:21,465 --> 00:45:22,674 I'm not crying. 753 00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,010 Piper, I love you. I will see you on Friday. 754 00:45:25,134 --> 00:45:28,137 Please, be brave. Don't let anyone into your granny panties. 755 00:45:28,263 --> 00:45:29,347 I love you. 756 00:45:29,473 --> 00:45:30,766 I love you. 757 00:45:35,562 --> 00:45:38,565 Your head's not here yet. Don't worry, it'll catch up. 758 00:45:39,775 --> 00:45:42,569 In the meantime, try to get some sleep. 759 00:45:42,653 --> 00:45:45,739 Orientation is tomorrow at 9:00. 760 00:45:45,823 --> 00:45:47,574 Shampoo for you. 761 00:45:49,952 --> 00:45:52,161 I think the words you're looking for are, "Thank you." 762 00:45:52,830 --> 00:45:54,163 Thank you. 763 00:45:54,999 --> 00:45:56,207 Good night, Chapman. 764 00:46:00,462 --> 00:46:02,171 Close the door behind you. 765 00:46:20,858 --> 00:46:23,443 Chapman. Hey, Chapman. 766 00:46:23,527 --> 00:46:24,528 - What? - Rise and shine. 767 00:46:24,653 --> 00:46:25,779 What? What? 768 00:46:25,863 --> 00:46:28,615 You want time to shower and eat, you gotta get up. 769 00:46:28,740 --> 00:46:30,742 Aw, look at your eyes. 770 00:46:30,868 --> 00:46:32,243 You should put some cold water on them. 771 00:46:32,369 --> 00:46:33,662 Okay. Thanks. 772 00:46:33,745 --> 00:46:35,372 Take a nice shower, get dressed, 773 00:46:35,497 --> 00:46:37,708 you'll start to feel normal soon enough. 774 00:46:38,291 --> 00:46:40,002 - You got flip-flops? - No. 775 00:46:40,544 --> 00:46:43,964 Oh, honey. There's wicked fungus in the showers. 776 00:47:01,899 --> 00:47:03,901 You're driving me crazy! 777 00:47:35,849 --> 00:47:38,060 Everyone gets a piece of fruit at breakfast. 778 00:47:38,143 --> 00:47:41,354 I'm telling you, it'll all start to feel normal, soon. Really. 779 00:47:41,939 --> 00:47:44,566 - You hungry? - I'm starving. Excuse me. 780 00:47:44,733 --> 00:47:46,275 - Such pretty hair. - Thank you. 781 00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:47,527 When those roots start to show, 782 00:47:47,611 --> 00:47:48,946 be sure to come and see me, okay? 783 00:47:49,029 --> 00:47:50,781 I'll take good care of you. 784 00:47:50,906 --> 00:47:53,742 But even if you don't come to me, don't go to Danita. 785 00:47:53,825 --> 00:47:57,328 She'll burn the shit out of your scalp. Go. Line's moving. 786 00:47:58,455 --> 00:47:59,748 Wait, Chapman? Are you Chapman? 787 00:47:59,873 --> 00:48:00,958 Yes. 788 00:48:04,878 --> 00:48:06,838 Red says she made that special for you. 789 00:48:06,964 --> 00:48:09,967 Wow. Thanks. Tell her I said thanks. 790 00:48:10,134 --> 00:48:12,052 I don't say nothing. I'm just working. Next. 791 00:48:13,929 --> 00:48:14,972 Man, I'm telling you, 792 00:48:15,097 --> 00:48:17,975 before my teeth got knocked out, I had this awesome gap. 793 00:48:18,058 --> 00:48:19,893 Now they look like Chiclets, look. 794 00:48:20,018 --> 00:48:21,937 You're crazy. Your fake teeth are beautiful. 795 00:48:22,020 --> 00:48:23,730 Bet you never get the food stuck in them. 796 00:48:23,814 --> 00:48:25,523 So, you got the nice fresh breath all the time. 797 00:48:25,649 --> 00:48:26,608 It's minty. It's beautiful. 798 00:48:26,691 --> 00:48:28,652 It's like God put them in you every day. 799 00:48:28,735 --> 00:48:30,154 A summer breeze coming over here. 800 00:48:30,319 --> 00:48:32,823 - Yeah? You like that? - Always smell... Yeah. Yeah. 801 00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:36,952 What did you do? 802 00:48:37,035 --> 00:48:38,536 She insulted the food in front of Red. 803 00:48:38,703 --> 00:48:40,998 Oh, jeez. I don't think you're gonna be eating for a while. 804 00:48:42,166 --> 00:48:46,086 Oh! Put it away. I'm enjoying menopause very much, thank you. 805 00:48:47,171 --> 00:48:49,673 You gotta figure out how to make things right with Red. 806 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,716 And yeah, yeah. You gotta go down to laundry. 807 00:48:51,842 --> 00:48:54,343 Don't forget that. And check the elastic on all the pants. 808 00:48:54,469 --> 00:48:56,221 Don't let them get you stretched-out garbage. 809 00:48:56,345 --> 00:48:58,473 Orientation starts in 10 minutes. 810 00:48:58,556 --> 00:49:00,851 At least you had a nice shower this morning, right? 811 00:49:00,934 --> 00:49:02,186 I think I saw you in there? 812 00:49:06,355 --> 00:49:10,027 I don't... I don't know. Excuse me. 813 00:49:10,110 --> 00:49:12,361 Hey! Hey, hey, don't forget, you gotta bus your tray. 814 00:49:19,036 --> 00:49:20,912 Where's she going with that tray? 815 00:49:21,038 --> 00:49:22,080 Can't take them out of here. 816 00:49:22,247 --> 00:49:23,372 Yeah, she'll figure it out. 817 00:49:23,581 --> 00:49:25,209 Was she really in the shower this morning? 818 00:49:46,730 --> 00:49:48,732 Maybe this is a bad time to say hi, huh? 58753

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.