All language subtitles for rick.and.morty.s07e10.1080p.web.h264-nhtfs[EZTVx.to]

♪

[ Electricity crackling ]

I'm gonna rip out
your spleen

and feed it
to your husband!

Uh-oh.
Wouldn't want that.

Yikes, Morty, we'd better run
before it figures out

what a husband is.

This carnival
of nightmares

used to be scary, right?

Eh.
We've seen too much.

It sucks, you know,
'cause it's fun to break off

a scare now and then.

Did I hear you fellas
wishin' for some

good old fashioned
scares?

I mean, I more wish
you wouldn't eavesdrop.

Yeah, who are you?

Does the suit mean
you work here,

or that you super
don't work here?

Like yourselves,
I'm a connoisseur of fear.

I'm also originally
from Earth.

And did you know
Earth is the home

of the single scariest place
in the galaxy?

I can show you
if you like.

We were headed
that way anyway.

Take a left.
Almost there.

We know
where Earth is.

For guys like you, you know,
who've seen it all,

there's only a few real fears
left to conquer.

And one of them is
right down here.

Okay, what the hell?

Yeah, this
is punching down.

Denny's is a nice chain
that gives people starchy food

when they're up late.
It's a hack joke, buddy.

No, this is the place.
Good luck to both of you.

I'm gonna get myself a slam.

He just wanted
a ride, right?

He certainly
took us for one.

Welp, as long
as we're here.

Okay, Lumberjack Slam,
Grand Slamwhich,

Pancake Puppies,
Slamburger, two milkshakes...

and an order of Cheddar Tots.

Let me know when you want
your check,

and if you're here for The Hole,
it's in the men's bathroom.

The what now?
Hole?

The Fear Hole.
Men's bathroom.

Well, it's definitely
a hole.

They weren't
lying about that.

Is that hair?
Seaweed?

Boy, it's really circling
the whole rim, huh.

Guess you got to jump in
without touching the sides?

You think there's spikes
on the bottom?

I don't think
they want you to go in there

and just die.

What kind of business
would that be?

Well, they're not
drowning in money.

They still have
a built-in TV/VCR.

Morty: Hey, it's
that carnival guy.

Oh, so he
gets a kickback.

Hi. Welcome to The Hole.
Here's how it works.

You jump in. The Hole manifests
your greatest fear.

You conquer that fear,
and come out, well, fearless.

And you get your picture
on the wall!

What does The Hole
get out of it?

Well, you know those fish that
nibble dead skin off your feet?

Yeah, the Hole's kind of
like that.

It eats fear.

You win. It wins.
Have fun, and enjoy the Ho-

Woman: Hey, Gaddafi,
cool your jets

with a taste of Mountain Dew!

This has been here
since VHS tapes

and there's only
three photos?

Yeah, my tots
are getting cold.

So you don't
want to do it?

Do you?
I mean...

It says it takes away
your greatest fear.

My greatest fear, Morty,
is trusting a gross hole

to conquer my fear,
and I conquer that fear

by walking away.

Okay, fine.

[ Yelps, panting ]

You little turd!

[ Screams ]

Oh, God!

[ Screams ]

Hold still while I stuff
you with maggots!

Rick!

Okay, the Hole thinks I'm scared
of not having a gun?

[ Grunting ]

[ Laughs ]
Fear conquered!

[ Grunting ]

Check out them gains!
Morty!

Where are you, Morty?

Let's go!

Oh, jeez!
Oh, God, oh, jeez!

We both shit our pants!
What a fuckin' ride!

Christ, Rick!
My button. Maggots.

In my button!

Fuck yeah, on the wall,
motherfucker!

It's not worth it!
Not worth it!

Oh, my God, you both reek.
What is that?

Morty and I
shit our pants.

You're looking at the two
newest members of the Hole Club.

Uh, okay, sluts.

[ Screams ]
What the hell?

Bomb almost killed her.

Take care of our wife.

Rick?
No! Oh, my God.

No. No!

Mom?
Where am I?

Who are you people?

You're my mom, but,

you're young?

Rick,
what's happening?

W-Wait.

Rick?

What the fuck, Grandpa?
Say something!

Okay, we're clearly
still in the hole.

That's exactly
what I was thinking.

We never left
the hole and--

And part of the hole is thinking
you left the hole and then--

And then it can
really dig into you.

Because you can't really be
scared of anything

if you know you're--

Together:
Still in the hole.

What the fuck are you
two talking about?

Why is dead Grandma alive
in our living room?

Rick, why are you old?

All great questions.

You guys get reacquainted
while we grab some equipment.

Wait, are we sure this isn't,
like, a double mislead?

A double mislead like we went
into a generic fear hole

and then coincidentally
came home to that?

That's...
That's my wife.

From the day I lost her.

Well, what's it got
to do with me?

Rick!
Right.

I think I figured
it out, Morty.

Your greatest fear is me
getting Diane back

and being happy again.
What? Why?

Because then
I won't need you.

Look how scared you're getting
just talking about it.

I'm not scared,
I'm insulted,

what kind of backhanded-ass
theory is that?

My greatest fear
is you hooking up?

You're right.
We can't know for sure

until I get more data.

Alright, family, who wants
to catch up over ice cream?

I knew he was working
on teleportation.

But wouldn't this be
time travel?

Oh, Dad never
touches time travel.

Ye calls it the Long--

The Long Island Iced Tea of
science fiction, yes,

but then what--
what is this?

Don't worry about it.
It's not real.

Okay. I figure it's better
to do this in front of you.

I didn't want to walk
in de-aged.

What do you think, D?
45? Younger?

I don't care about
your age, Rick.

I don't even want
to call you that.

That's my husband's name.
He just died.

I know. So, 27?

Dad!
You're traumatizing her.

What?
It's my face, too.

And now Diane gets
to understand

that I'm still sexy
and a genius.

[ Scoffs ]
What a kindness.

You were right, Rick.
I'm really terrified right now.

Terrified of what?

If you don't mind,
I'd like to get to know

the adult version of my--
Oh, my God.

Where's my real daughter?

Sweetie,
it's all right.

This may as well be
our real daughter

because she's just
as real as you.

What?
Put it this way.

You're all
basically NPCs.

Only Morty
and I are real,

so your side quests
don't matter.

The main quest is us.

You're disgusting.

You're talking about

our baby girl like
she's theoretical?

Welcome to the family.

No, you don't
get it, honey.

Even if this was real,
she'd be only a version

of your daughter who could also
be a clone of your daughter.

Stop wearing
my husband's face!

You're nothing like him!

Because I lost you!

Maybe you
didn't deserve me!

You want to
hear a new theory?

Maybe your greatest fear
is getting a second chance

with her and blowing it.

You don't think that fear's
been pretty well faced?

Then you haven't
conquered it.

Or accepted it.
Or something.

"Or something?"
I'm not a fearologist!

Morty, all rom-coms
have an arc.

Even "You've Got Mail"
begins with Tom Hanks

killing that cop.
Really?

I don't know.
I'm not going to

fucking watch
"You've Got Mail."

I'm doing this
for you, Morty.

The sooner I get her back,
the sooner you can conquer

your fear of being
a useless, lonely turd.

You don't think
that's been faced?

♪ Hello, Diane, here's
the song I rehearsed ♪

♪ You had a bad day
and Rick made it worse ♪

♪ He felt bad,
so he created me ♪

♪ I deliver you
waffles and an apology ♪

Why do I have memories
of being a human child?

Why would I need--
Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Goddamnit, there was
a whole second verse

about inviting you
to the zoo with the family.

I've seen
that robot's arms.

Yeah, I used them
on a law enforcement drone

that the Feds
had me build.

It's how we, uh--
How I met my wife.

The zoo sounds nice.

And this one time,
we raised a civilization

living on
a zit on my face,

and Grandpa helped me
rule over it as queen.

It sounds like you guys
are a real family now.

I wish you could've
been part of it, Mom.

Oh.

Oh, honey.

Rick, is there a deadline
on this theory you're chasing?

Uh, yeah, sure.
Uh, that's a good idea, Morty.

Do that.

I always wished I knew
what they were saying.

Your Master's thesis.

Non-human Intelligence.

When did you read that?

After you were gone.

It helped me
develop this.

Fuck you.
Fuck you, Greg!

Fuck you, Lisa!
Yum, bread.

- No, fuck you!
- Fuck you! There's bread.

I guess that's
what I expected?

Anticlimactic,
isn't it?

Yep, they kind of suck.

[ Both laughing ]

Hey, want to
grab a drink?

Whoo!
Alright, yeah!

[ Laughing ]

Oh, when did you stop
being a lightweight?

Kept looking for my wife
at the bottom of a bottle.

You're pathetic.

Hey.
To being pathetic.

Clear!

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Both belching ]

[ Retches ]

My turn, my turn.

[ Retches ]

[ Laughs ] I'll tell
you what, old man.

Seems like losing me made you
cooler. [ Chuckles ]

I should
die more often.

[ Both chuckle ]

You did.

You died everywhere forever.

You're the only thing
I can't replace.

Okay, okay,
Mr. Weepy.

I'm not even
real, remember?

Nothing's real.
That's your jam, right?

My grandson, our grandson,
thinks this is happening

because my greatest fear
is letting you go.

Then don't.

I don't want to.
Then kiss me.

I'm old,
and we have puke mouth.

Well, I'm not here,
and it's not real puke.

♪

Okay, Rick-- whoa!
Dude!

Fuck you, Morty.
It's a blazer.

That's not what I meant.
You look sick.

The hole
is feeding on you.

I thought it's supposed
to eat my fear.

Can we get some fucking
rules up in this hole?

I don't know the rules!
Maybe you're just dying

because you've been
in here too long!

Interesting theory.

I wonder why you're
so rosy-cheeked.

What are you saying?

Maybe the real you is off
somewhere running from spiders.

Oh, so now
I'm not real?

Yeah, maybe my greatest fear
is having to tell you to

fuck the fuck off.

Go ahead and face it!
Fuck the fuck off!

Hey.
Ready to Showbiz Pizza?

Let me see
that bear play banjo!

Here's one for ya.

I'm afraid
of watching you die.

I like that theory, Morty.
So stop watching.

Okay, this is it.
You nailed it.

My worst nightmare.
I'd like to leave The Hole now.

Hey. Hey, Hole,
I'm talking to you.

Are you listening?

[ Thunder crashes ]

So, what are you,
like, the Hole?

The Hole's promoter?

The Hole's intern?
Is there a hole here?

Right, I'm supposed to go
in there and be shocked

that there's no hole,
or that there is a hole?

What difference
would it make?

Hm, you are
hard to scare.

And Rick isn't, right?

The Hole's gonna, like,
suck on him forever

because his big secret
is that he's got the most fear?

Well, we can certainly say
you're not afraid

to be reductive.

I doubt your grandpa
has "more" fear

than the average asshole
in a Denny's.

Man: Hey!
Sorry.

If anything,
he seems pretty brave.

He's certainly not
afraid to die.

Maybe that makes his
fear extra delicious.

So, what,
he's scared of love?

Everyone's scared of
love, dipshit.

You'll learn that
in your '20s.

It takes a very rare,
very powerful

being to be terrified
of happiness.

Dumb.
You're dumb.

That's why you're not scared
to be happy.

The smarter you are,
the more you know.

Happiness is a trap.
It can't last forever.

Let's say you meet the love
of your life,

well, it's still
gonna end.

It's inevitable, whether
by the slow pull of a disease,

or the shock of loose footing
on a hiking trail,

whether it be the corrosion
of two personalities

that reshape each other
until they're incompatible,

or maybe the old
stranger in a bar

who says the things
that need to be said,

to that person,
that night.

The point is,
happiness always ends.

Best case scenario,
think about this.

Best case is that you die
at the same time.

Yikes.

Can't the Hole just
let me go then?

Sounds like I don't matter.
You don't.

But if you go,
you'll take him away.

Don't worry.

Rick will die before
accepting happiness.

After that, we'll chase you
with some clowns

or some dumb shit
like that.

But Grandpa...[ Chuckles ]

Yummy, yummy.
Grandpa's gonna die.

Just like Diane.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Sir, you've been in this booth
for a really long time.

One coffee
isn't gonna cut it.

That's fair. Want to split
some pancake puppies?

No!

[ Screams ] Beth!
Summer? Anyone!

Dad, it's not real.
Neither are you.

If that's true,
then you deal with it!

You know what?
You're right.

[ Screams ]
How about this?

Morty!
What are you doing?

Being scared!

[ Screaming ]

[ Gulps ]

How is that not enough fear?

You're the one
scaring me, Morty!

No, no, Dad,
it's okay.

It's not okay!
That wasn't normal!

[ Rumbling ]

My greatest fear
is not being accepted.

It should be!

And you need to fear it
a hell of a lot more!

[ Rumbling ]

I can do that.

You like that?
Do you want to die?

I have enough unaddressed trauma
to flood this hallway.

You fuckin' idiot,
this list says

"Top Five Things", and you
only wrote down four.

[ Laughter ]

[ Rumbling ]

Trust fall!

None of us touch or speak
to this kid ever.

[ Rumbling ]

Morty: Maybe take a picture,
send it to your friends?

Huh. Not a bad idea.
[ Rumbling ]

How can we do the school play
if Johnny has laryngitis?

There's no understudy!

Put me in the play.
You don't know the lines.

Yes, I do.
"Three Days of Rain."

I have it memorized.

And I refuse to prove that
until you cast me.

Have it your way, but
The New York Times is coming,

and they're doing a feature
on the current state

of young American theater.

[ Rumbling ]

Perfect.

It ended in a church?
What?

Yeah, they'd already died.
It was purgatory or something.

How did your universe's
version end?

Mm, Jack, Locke, and Sawyer
teamed up to kill a fog monster

and everyone got rescued.

It was one season long,
and it was perfect television.

You can be great or you can be
around forever, right?

True. True.

Where's this going?

We doing robot role play?
I've got oil at home.

[ Rumbling ]

What was that?
True. True. True. True.

Diane.
Diane? Diane?

Hey. Stay with me.
Diane. Diane.

Diane?
Rick?

What's happening?

Fuckin' Morty!
He's trying to hog the hole.

Come on!

Alas, our
father is dead.

Walker, are you here?

[ Crowd gasping ]

Uh, hi.
I'm Walker. Uh...

Sure has been raining

a lot of days.

[ Rumbling ]

What the fuck
is he doing?

[ Groans ]
What's wrong with him?

He's naked.

And why does he look sick?

Because he's dying.

Fuck.

I got to get
him out of here.

But if I do, I might
have to go with him.

I don't want to.
I don't want to, Diane,

I think my greatest fear
is letting you go.

That's a good fear, Rick.
Keep that fear.

If you don't,
you'll kill me.

Again.

I know. But I don't have
to kill Morty, too.

How do you know
he's even real?

Look at his weird
little balls.

Goodbye, Diane.

[ Gasping ]

Rick!
Shut up Morty.

DJ, drop that beat.
We got to conquer a fear!

[ Music playing ]

♪ This is my grandson ♪

♪ Don't look at his pee-pee ♪

♪ Instead of staring at Morty ♪

♪ Put your eyes on me-me ♪

♪ I'm a roped-out freak ♪

♪ Loose dog in my ass ♪

♪ Macaroni in my pocket ♪

♪ Rickity masterclass ♪

♪ I don't know how to rap ♪

♪ I don't know how to rhyme ♪

♪ I don't know how to rap ♪

♪ Now eat my shit! ♪

Incredible.

♪ Now throw your hands up! ♪

♪ And put your hands down ♪

♪ Throw your hands up ♪

♪ Now put them back down ♪

♪ Three days of rain ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

That was an astounding feat
of personal bravery.

Nudity always makes theater
serious and good.

How do you feel?

Accepted. You?

Pathetic. But...

happy?

[ Rumbling ]

[ Gasping ]

We did it!
We conquered our fears.

Right?

Uh, hey, Rick.

You just looked real sad,
which I'm afraid of.

You know, of being responsible
for your sadness.

Which means, I think
we might still be in The Hole.

Huh. Well,
I am definitely afraid

of you ever knowing
anything before me.

So, yeah, I'd say there's a 100%
chance that we're still--

God damn it. Is this
going to be a whole thing?

No word play, Morty.
We have to figure out

our actual fears if we're ever
going to get out of here.

Actual fears?
Yeah.

Tell me your fuckin' fear
so we can conquer it.

I just had
to crucify myself

in order to save you
from your Hole wife,

and you think I'm the one
with unresolved fears?

I ought to be afraid that
we'll never get out,

because you'll never admit
that you're afraid!

[ Both groan ]

Okay. Good job.
You conquered it, right?

I think so.
How are we supposed to know?

No, no, this is real.
I can tell.

You're not afraid that you
could be certain

about something
and still turn out to be wrong?

[ Groans ]
You cowardly asshole!

How was I supposed
to know?!

$8 for a side of bacon!

[ Groans ] Are you fucking
kidding me?!

It's a symptom of
a larger concern, Morty.

If capitalism collapses--

Are we done here?
I don't know.

Aren't you a little
afraid at this point

of The Hole itself?
What? [ Gasps ]

I swear to God, if we're
still climbing out of this

fucking Hole
two seasons from now.

Maybe that was it.
What?

Maybe we needed to let go of
our fear of uncertainty.

You know?
Right.

I'd say we're pretty native
to that at this point.

Okay, thank you, Hole!
Thank you, Hole!

We no longer need to know
if we're in you.

So, bye.

Are you afraid
we're still in it?

I mean, I hope
we're not,

but if we are--
We'll find out eventually.

Which no longer
scares me.

Same. Okay.
I'm gonna go get drunk.

♪

♪ Move on they say, you'll
feel better with time ♪

♪ But time alone can't heal
this heart of mine ♪

♪ You can't go back,
that's the only rule ♪

♪ But rules were meant to break
when it comes to you ♪

♪ I saw time and time
slip by when I withdrew ♪

♪ I wandered far and wide
without you ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪

♪ So I bury my dead,
and I try to start again ♪

♪ But it will never be the same
as it was back then ♪

♪ I've seen time and time
slip by, but I'll make do ♪

♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪

Oh, my God!
I've turned into my dad!

Oh, maybe there's
no way out.

Maybe we were
born here.

[ Groans ] Come on.
We're gonna get through this.

I'm staying here.

No. We're Rick and Morty.
I'm not leaving without you.

What did you say?

I said I'm not leaving you
in here.

Come on.
You're irreplaceable...

[ Echoing ] irreplaceable...
irreplaceable...

What?
Oh, my God!

I know what I'm afraid of.

I'm afraid you'd never say
that in real life.

I'm afraid that if
I jumped into a hole,

you wouldn't even bother
jumping in after me.

You'd just stand there
and watch.

This entire thing
has been about me.

You're not even in the Hole,
are you?

Thank you for visiting
the Fear Hole, Morty.

Your fear of relying on Rick
has been delicious.

Dear God!

Rick: Morty!
How was it?

Was it spiders?

Oh. Oh, jeez.
Oh, my God, no.

You-- You didn't
go in at all?

No, it's
a one-person ride.

You can't face two fears
at the same time.

If my fear was fire
and yours was water--

I get it.
It's fine.

It really is fine. Huh.

You do seem a little
less burdened.

Rick, am I
irreplaceable?

I mean, define irreplaceable.

That's good. Good.

I'm back.

Don't! Or I won't know
if I'm out!

Is it that good?

Should I go in?
No!

You holdin' out on me?

You don't want to deal
with it, Rick.

There was messed-up
mental shit in there.

Like, Diane
was in there.

What?
Not in a good way.

Just trust me.

Okay, buddy.
Let's go slam some pancakes.

[ Panting ]

♪

Ooh-whee.
How bout that?

Season 7!

It was touch and go there
for a second.

Remember when I stole my kid?

I stole one of these, too!

It's all about having a goal

and stopping at nothing
to achieve it!

Then you'll be fulfilled!

Did you get any of that?