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1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,705
Mr. Carlson; oh, hiya, herb.
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,908
Hi. You, uh, wanted to see me?
3
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,937
- yes, we did.
- is this a meeting?
4
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:14,413
Yes.
5
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:17,182
- uh, an important one?
- yeah.
6
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,851
Am I in any trouble?
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:24,489
- no.
- well,
What's this meeting about?
8
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,537
This meeting is about a very
Good idea that you had, herb.
9
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,938
- that I had?
- that's right.
10
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,396
Well, hell, let's
Get on with it.
11
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,865
I'm not a guy who likes
To waste a lot of time.
12
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,912
Well, herbert, andy
Here tells me that these
13
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,770
"Dear abby" talk-type shows
Are really popular now.
14
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,039
Yeah, yeah. The advice show.
15
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:44,187
Oh, yes, indeed, big guy. These
Things are sweeping the country.
16
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,744
Not 20 minutes
Ago, I was talking to
17
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,615
Crazy chuck kaminski over
At big 3-k radio in st. Louis.
18
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,551
He told me that they
Put on one of these
19
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,188
"Dear abby" sort of
Things about a month ago.
20
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:59,757
They got 75 calls the first day,
21
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,693
200 in about a week,
22
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,362
Then they won their
2:00-3:00 p.M. Time slot.
23
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,942
I mean won it outright
24
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,777
Just like that for the
First time in 20 years.
25
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,446
- they didn't.
- they did.
26
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,681
They did. That's a miserable
Time slot for us too.
27
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,539
I think we can take that hour
Easily with a show like this.
28
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,319
I like it, and I want to do it.
29
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:19,444
Hold on just a second,
Now. Wait a minute.
30
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,825
Something like that's got to
Be cleared through me first.
31
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,569
But, big guy, this is...
32
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,153
Okay, it's cleared.
33
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,745
Good. Now, here's
What I want to do. If we...
34
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,691
- come in.
- mr. Carlson,
35
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,861
Why not a full one hour of news?
36
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,096
- not now, les.
- yes, sir.
37
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,098
Now, here's what I want to do.
38
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:43,235
I want to find someone like
A dear abby and ann landers.
39
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,037
This person does not have to
Be a psychiatrist or anything.
40
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,274
Just someone with good,
Old common sense, all right?
41
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,554
- my thinking exactly.
- who have you got in mind?
42
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,656
- I don't know yet,
But I'm gonna find someone.
- uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
43
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,448
excusez-moi, travinski.
44
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,984
Look, that was my
Idea. I should find him.
45
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,820
Oh, no, herb. Don't you
Want this idea to work?
46
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,357
What is that supposed to mean?
47
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,292
Well, uh...
48
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,427
I think what andy's
Trying to say, herb,
49
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:12,308
Is that if you get your
Incompetent hands on this project,
50
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,266
You'll totally
Destroy what would
51
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,435
Otherwise be a darn good idea.
52
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,704
Oh.
53
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,541
Is that true?
54
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,176
Nah.
55
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,644
Good.
56
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,714
Then I'll find the perfect host.
57
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,293
You're gonna love him.
58
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,384
And I'll have this show on
The air by the end of the week.
59
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,887
Herbert r. Tarlek
Jr. Has spoken.
60
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,529
♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪
61
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:48,600
♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪
62
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:53,137
♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪
63
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,709
♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪
64
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:01,813
♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪
65
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:06,118
♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪
66
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:10,222
♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪
67
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:14,059
♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪
68
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:20,098
♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati ♪
69
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,937
And, uh, let's see.
70
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,706
I did a little
Family counseling.
71
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:31,810
And, uh, I was employed
By the city for a while.
72
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,178
Now, that was real interesting.
73
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,382
What got you interested
In doing a show like this?
74
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,618
Herb did. We're cousins.
75
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,589
First or second cousins, herb?
76
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,292
Okay, fine.
77
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,595
And I used to be a dancer,
78
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,930
So I've always been
Interested in show business.
79
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,966
And herb says I got
80
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:58,070
I got a real good
Way with people.
81
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:03,074
Well... Y-you do.
82
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:06,311
The guy has all the
Credentials. Look at this letter.
83
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,146
I haven't met the man,
84
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,335
But I've got a hunch
You're gonna love him.
85
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,551
- mr. Van housen?
- well, good morning, gentlemen.
86
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,553
I'm victor van housen.
87
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,660
Don't you see? I
Should do the show.
88
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,299
Huh? Huh?
89
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,134
Huh?
90
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:35,674
Well, I worked very
Briefly in radio before,
91
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,654
And I had an advice
Column for a time,
92
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,188
But I gave it up
To write my book,
93
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,890
you be you, and I'll be me.
94
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,048
Oh, you wrote a book?
95
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,683
Yes. And it did quite well too.
96
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,353
Gee, that's good.
97
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,188
Well, I must admit, you're
Extremely well qualified,
98
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,802
- and you have
A very lovely voice.
- thank you.
99
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,226
I say... Yes.
100
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,594
Me too.
101
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,463
Well, let's get going.
102
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,577
I'm not the kind of guy who likes
To waste time. Come on, come on.
103
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,801
Well, I'm gonna slip on home,
104
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,304
Slide into bed, and
Sleep the day off.
105
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,340
Want to come?
106
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,311
If you change your
Mind, give me a call.
107
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,680
Aren't you gonna stick
Around for "Ask arlene"?
108
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,626
I think I'm just gonna
Check her out on the air
109
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,551
And see what I think, you know?
110
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,531
Sounds like you've
Already made up your mind.
111
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,566
I'll tell you something,
Jennifer: I am against
112
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,957
Anything that puts
A deejay out of work,
113
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,560
And this woman is taking
Dean the dream's slot.
114
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,562
Dean was leaving anyway.
115
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,598
And to what? That is my point.
116
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,833
What is dean leaving to?
117
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,703
He's going to law school.
118
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,371
Oh.
119
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,842
That could come in handy. I
Might need a lawyer someday.
120
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,509
Bye.
121
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,946
- excuse me. Where is she?
- who?
122
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,093
Arlene. She in there with
The big guy? What time is it?
123
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,416
No. 2:30.
124
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,524
Why don't you ever knock? Why?
125
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,370
I'm sorry, big guy,
But I can't find arlene,
126
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,239
And she's on the
Air in a half hour.
127
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,175
Don't panic. I'll get
A hold of travis.
128
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,877
This is her first show. I thought I'd
Pick her up and get her here in time.
129
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:12,036
Just calm down. Travis?
Get in my office immediately.
130
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,105
Ooh. This is mr. Carlson.
131
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,543
Don't suppose she
Drove herself, do you?
132
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,357
I told her, "I'll pick you up at
2:00 on the dot." she said, "Yeah."
133
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,859
- oh, gee.
- what's that?
134
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,250
- huh? What? Oh, that-that's nothing.
- okay.
135
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,387
A man in my position, herb,
Doesn't play with trains.
136
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,122
Yes, sir.
137
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:34,292
I'm not a child, I'm a hobbyist.
138
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,163
Yes, sir.
139
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,709
Come in.
140
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,232
Arlene is here.
141
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,268
- about time.
- show her in.
142
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:46,737
Mr. Carlson, herb,
I'm terribly sorry.
143
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,507
no problemo, arlene.
Just a minor little mix-up.
144
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,210
I'm just very glad you're
Here. Please sit down.
145
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,312
Thank you. Oh, is
That an electric train?
146
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,215
- yes.
- no.
147
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,718
I mean, he's not
A child, he's a...
148
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,086
- what are you?
- I'm a hobbyist.
149
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,789
What? What? What is it?
150
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:09,027
Uh... Well... Uh, arlene's here.
151
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,262
What?
152
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,498
Well, I just thought
You'd like to know.
153
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,667
Oh. Well, arlene,
Ready to go on?
154
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,970
Oh, yes. I've been
Preparing all morning.
155
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,772
Good. Everything's
In the "Go" mode.
156
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,819
Advertisements in
This morning's paper,
157
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,610
Air promos, intro tapes...
158
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,657
And it wasn't easy to
Concentrate either.
159
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,160
- I got a call
This morning from eddie.
- who?
160
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:33,885
Eddie. He and I were
Separated this past christmas.
161
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,420
Oh, I'm sorry.
162
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,922
Oh, it's all right
Now. It's old business.
163
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,892
But still, it does
Hurt sometimes.
164
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,794
You see, I thought this
Was gonna be the marriage
165
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,796
That finally worked.
166
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,977
- could I have
A glass of water?
- surely.
167
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,102
So, uh, you were
Married before, then, huh?
168
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,005
Oh, yes. Four times.
169
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,085
But I really don't
Count the first one.
170
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,609
We were only
Married for two days.
171
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,711
- here you go.
- thank you.
172
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,714
I hardly knew him. I only did it
173
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:05,283
To get revenge on
Barry, who had lied to me.
174
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,686
Just an aspirin.
175
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,223
We never had sex.
176
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,663
I... Beg your pardon?
177
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,632
In my first marriage.
178
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,034
Oh, well, good.
179
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:26,971
Oh, I am still very
Careful about that.
180
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,886
I mean, you can hardly have a
Relationship with a man today
181
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,410
That sex doesn't get in the way.
182
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,712
You know what I
Mean, mr. Carlson?
183
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,582
Oh, yeah.
184
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,051
Uh, arlene, why don't you
185
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,320
Just relax, and in a second,
We'll go into the booth.
186
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,390
Thank you.
187
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:48,426
You know, eddie had severe
Problems with my success.
188
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,295
He had all the usual male, uh...
189
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,098
Uh... What do you call it?
190
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,366
Attitudes?
191
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,935
The usual male
Attitudes to a marriage.
192
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,772
Eddie would be in charge.
Eddie would dominate.
193
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,774
Eddie would make the decisions.
194
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,843
Even when he started doing
The dishes and making the bed,
195
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,413
I knew where he was
Really coming from.
196
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,115
I mean, I knew
Where he was at, man.
197
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,952
Oh, my goodness.
198
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,490
Maybe ed was attempting
To communicate.
199
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,203
Oh, don't give me that bull!
200
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,028
Sorry.
201
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,731
"Communicate"? Give me a break!
202
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,667
Mr. Carlson, what, uh...
203
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,303
What time you got there, sir?
204
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,739
It's just about airtime.
205
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,375
Oh, good. I hope
Eddie's listening,
206
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:40,356
'cause I think he's gonna know
When I'm really talking about him.
207
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,913
Arlene, I wouldn't
Get too personal, now.
208
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,915
I'll be you, you be me.
209
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,662
- what?
- it's your book.
210
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,753
Oh, that piece of trash.
211
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,225
Are you coming?
212
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,294
Are you kidding?
213
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,365
And blow the whole
Country, oil fields and all,
214
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,434
Right off the map.
215
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,106
But, of course, that's just
A personal observation.
216
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,134
This is les nessman
Saying good day,
217
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,611
And may the good news be yours.
218
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,613
Arlene, you look
A little sleepy.
219
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,659
She just took an aspirin.
Come on, les, get up.
220
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,763
- arlene, you sit
Right down here.
- what kind of an aspirin?
221
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,054
I don't know. A big
Pink and blue thing.
222
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,656
Arlene, are you all right?
223
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,359
- of course I am.
- of course she is.
224
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,462
- how many did she take.
- I only saw her take one.
225
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,365
Who's that?
226
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,300
I'm les nessman.
227
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,003
I read your book.
Didn't help me any.
228
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:45,109
All right, arlene, now, here are
The phones. You remember the phones?
229
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,646
- of course I am.
- good.
230
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,883
All right. Here we go.
231
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,152
♪♪ man: void where prohibited.
232
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,553
Jingle singers: ♪ wkrp ♪
233
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,790
♪ cincinnati ♪
234
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:02,626
Man: and now, it's
Time for "Ask arlene,"
235
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,096
a bold new venture in
Cincinnati radio listening
236
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,666
where you, the listener,
Call in to ask arlene
237
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,735
poignant personal questions
And receive in return
238
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,071
poignant personal expert advice
239
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:19,110
from an expert...
Expert. Expert. Expert.
240
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:23,915
and now, - here's arlene!
241
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,059
Good afternoon, everyone.
242
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,428
This is arlene.
243
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,396
Welcome to my show,
244
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,866
And feel free to
Ask me anything.
245
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,970
Our number here is 555-wkrp,
246
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,105
And I'd like to see
Those phones light up
247
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,241
As soon as possible.
248
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,682
Jennifer, it was great.
249
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,784
You were absolutely wonderful!
250
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,120
Oh, thank you. Andy, could
I have a cup of coffee?
251
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:06,290
- you bet.
- I have never talked
So much in my whole life.
252
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,859
Oh, that advice you
Gave, it was perfect!
253
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,195
- just common sense.
- how do you know all that?
254
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:14,399
I don't know. I read...
psychology today, field & stream.
255
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,569
- here you go, star.
- thank you.
256
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,706
Hey, hey, hey. I heard the
Last 30 minutes of your show.
257
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,074
It was great. You were
Wonderful! Wonderful!
258
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,411
- I'm so excited.
- how's arlene?
259
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,047
Oh, she's okay, fine. I took
Her to emergency ward,
260
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,316
And it was nothing
But a case of nerves
261
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,484
And about three valium.
262
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,264
Eddie came and picked her up.
263
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,288
Will she be able to
Be back tomorrow?
264
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:42,693
- well, I really don't know.
- you'd better find out.
265
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,997
What for? We've got you.
266
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:48,065
Now, wait a minute.
267
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,745
- jennifer?
- yes, sir?
268
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,737
There's a pushy salesman
In the lobby to see me.
269
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:56,640
I was wondering if you
Could, uh, make him go away.
270
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:59,443
- yes, sir.
- hold it. Wait.
271
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,846
Sir, didn't you listen
To "Ask arlene"?
272
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,948
- no.
- jennifer did the show.
273
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,718
- she was great!
- I did okay.
274
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,931
I'll handle the salesman.
What's he look like?
275
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,089
You.
276
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,657
Good.
277
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:16,193
Dracula meets frankenstein.
278
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,429
Venus, did you
Listen to the show?
279
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:22,266
Did I hear? I'd recognize that sexy
Voice anywhere. You were great, jennifer.
280
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:25,414
I listened to you for just 10
Minutes, and already I've decided to
281
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,371
Go back to school,
Lose 50 pounds,
282
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,041
And get a sex-change operation.
283
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,249
Just how personal did
These questions get?
284
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,052
- oh, very personal,
Mr. Carlson.
- oh, no.
285
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,054
Oh, don't worry, mr. Carlson.
286
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:46,824
- I assure you I'll be
Back at my desk tomorrow.
- jennifer...
287
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,104
- I'm not going to do it.
- why not?
288
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,694
Because it goes against
My basic philosophy
289
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,063
Of "Do your job, but
Don't do too much of it."
290
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,199
Look, it would be
Much more exciting
291
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,301
Than being stuck
In the lobby all day.
292
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,704
I like it out there. We
Hardly get any calls.
293
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,706
Mr. Carlson won't
Accept visitors.
294
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,275
It's quiet. I can read,
Study a foreign language,
295
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,322
Occasionally answer
A question or two.
296
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,779
See, that's it.
297
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,927
Everybody always
Comes to you for advice.
298
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:13,250
So I say, share your wisdom
With the rest of the world.
299
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:16,387
- oh, come on.
- jennifer, do I ever
Ask you for anything?
300
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:17,822
No, I don't.
301
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,491
Look, I just need you
To do this for a while,
302
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,560
Till herb can find
Somebody else.
303
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,574
That shouldn't take too long, should
It, for herb to find somebody else?
304
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,066
Oh, no. Just a matter of days...
305
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,234
- weeks.
- days.
306
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,370
So come on. What do you say?
307
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,239
- just this once?
- I say no.
308
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,986
Yes, you're on the air.
309
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,710
Man: arlene, what's
The meaning of life?
310
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,747
- the cereal or the magazine?
- huh?
311
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,015
We could take out iraq too,
312
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:48,986
Then later apologize and say
It was a typographical error.
313
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,622
But, of course, that's just
A personal observation.
314
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,651
This is les nessman
Saying good day,
315
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,626
And may the good news be yours.
316
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,462
And now stay tuned
For "Ask arlene."
317
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,864
Man: what to do about foot odor?
318
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,833
How's the mad bomber today?
319
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,546
Good, thank you. Hi, jennifer.
320
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,837
Hi, les. Oh, thank you.
321
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,940
Ooh.
322
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:15,279
Jennifer, I was wondering if I could
Ask your advice about something.
323
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,549
- all righty.
- why don't you call her
Like everybody else does?
324
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,185
- this is personal.
- what is it, les?
325
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,321
- johnny?
- yeah?
326
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,356
Cover your ears.
327
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,561
It has to do with
One coming to grips
328
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,598
With one's own nudity.
329
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:37,001
Les, perhaps we could
Discuss this at a later date.
330
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,947
- you promise?
- arlene promises.
331
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:40,838
Thank you. Thank you, john.
332
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,174
Sure, les. And good
Luck with that problem.
333
00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:48,646
Ah, I tell you, I feel so much
Closer to you now, jennifer.
334
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:52,116
I mean, now that we're
Colleagues, we're both
335
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,986
Broadcast personalities,
Announcers.
336
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,522
- we ought to tour together.
- what would we tour?
337
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,425
Army bases. Little
Overnight stays.
338
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,527
Wait a minute.
Something is wrong.
339
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,796
- what?
- something is missing here.
340
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,698
- what?
- sorry, arlene.
341
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,234
Running a little late today.
342
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,381
Jennifer: hello, this
Is arlene. You're on.
343
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,873
Woman: arlene, I've got a problem,
But I don't want to use my real name.
344
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:19,210
- that's okay.
- so just call me joan.
345
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:22,947
Okay. Uh, what's
Your problem, joan?
346
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,516
who?
347
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,518
Well, you are joan, aren't you?
348
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,787
no, I'm not.
349
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:32,823
anyway, arlene, what
Do you do with a husband
350
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,793
who's always running
Around with other women?
351
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,828
Have your lawyer chat with him.
352
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,298
oh. Okay.
353
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,300
Hi. This is arlene. You're on.
354
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:44,268
arlene, this is betty.
355
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,382
I've been engaged to
A man three months,
356
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,639
and I just found out
He has a wooden leg.
357
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,707
should I break it off?
358
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:57,281
Oh, I don't think so.
359
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,383
Hello, you're on.
360
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,619
Man: arlene, I don't
Have a question for you.
361
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,323
I just want to say I
Thank god for you.
362
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:09,694
Well, that's very nice,
But not necessary.
363
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,529
Hello, you're on.
364
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,609
say, arlene, this is joe.
How does a guy get rid of
365
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,634
really problem dandruff?
366
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,936
I wouldn't know, herb.
367
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,938
it's joe.
368
00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:24,208
Well, joe, we have to
Go to a commercial now.
369
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,744
surely. I'd love to hear one.
370
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:30,047
Man: say, how does a guy get
Rid of really problem dandruff?
371
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,150
Hello?
372
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,197
hello, arlene.
This isn't joan again.
373
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,888
Oh, hi.
374
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,396
you told me to get a lawyer to
Chat with my goombah husband
375
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,237
who's been fooling around with
Every other woman in cincinnati.
376
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,662
- I remember.
- well,
377
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,764
I've taken your advice.
378
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,299
but I don't know how
To tell bob I'm leaving.
379
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:52,202
of course, "Bob" isn't
His real name either.
380
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,372
Well, joan, I'd tell him
As soon as possible.
381
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:58,175
I'd look him right straight
In the eyes and say,
382
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,178
"Bob, you're out. And
That's the way it is,
383
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,781
February 8th, 1981."
384
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,983
- arlene, this is earl.
- oh, hi, earl.
385
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,030
I just want to tell
You that my wife and I
386
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,132
are getting along great
Since I talked to you.
387
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,123
- thank you.
- well, good.
388
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,992
and she stopped
Carrying the pistol.
389
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,394
Oh, that's great, earl.
390
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:19,975
- hello?
- woman: arlene?
391
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,132
- yes?
- everybody in my office
392
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,736
says I'm difficult to get along with
Because I can never admit I'm wrong.
393
00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:28,038
- what do you think?
- maybe they're right.
394
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,718
what do you know?!
395
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,642
You said a couple of days.
396
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,145
It's been 64 of them. 64
Does not a couple make.
397
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,025
Yeah, but you're doing so well.
398
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,417
How long does it take
Herb to find somebody?
399
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,198
- he's giving it
Everything he's got.
- that's what I was afraid of.
400
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,267
Andy, I don't want to be the
Advice lady for the rest of my life.
401
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,226
Look, how about just
For the next, uh, 10 years?
402
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,072
How about just for
The next 10 minutes?
403
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,240
- 10 days.
- five days.
404
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,341
- deal.
- two days.
405
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,365
- five.
- deal.
406
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,144
I don't know what you're worried
About. You're making new friends.
407
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,302
That's what I'm worried
About. Coming out.
408
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,038
♪♪
409
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:04,642
Hello, you're on.
410
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,226
Woman: I just want to say
411
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,617
that I don't make a
Move without you.
412
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,787
Oh, please, don't do
That. Live your own life.
413
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,501
And remember, I'm not a
Psychologist or a psychiatrist.
414
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,292
I'm just the advice lady.
415
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,321
Woman: arlene, do
You think I'm fat?
416
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,363
You look okay to me.
417
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,801
arlene, this is arlene.
418
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,571
Oh, hello, arlene.
This is arlene.
419
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,906
arlene, I just want
You to know that
420
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,375
eddie and I are
Back together again.
421
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,845
- oh, that's great, arlene.
- bye, arlene.
422
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,581
Bye, arlene. Hello,
This is arlene.
423
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:45,382
Woman: arlene, hello.
424
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,251
uh, this isn't joan again.
425
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:49,086
Oh, hello.
426
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:52,356
remember you told me to
Tell bob I was leaving him?
427
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:53,824
I did?
428
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,259
well, I told him.
429
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,428
last night.
430
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,064
And?
431
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,967
he hit me.
432
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,102
I can't hear you.
433
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,104
he beat me up, arlene.
434
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:11,241
and I don't know what to do.
435
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,049
arlene?
436
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:21,985
Don't worry about it. Herb's
Gonna find somebody today.
437
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,555
He's only been on
The case for 194 days.
438
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,326
Hello, wkrp.
439
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,529
Mr. Carlson? Oh, he's not in.
440
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,266
The guy's never in.
441
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,568
We probably should just
Forget the whole thing.
442
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:40,404
I just wish jennifer
Was back here.
443
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,474
Oh, I just don't like sharing
Jennifer with other people.
444
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,279
Hello, wkrp.
445
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,747
Travis? Oh, he's not in.
446
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,816
Ah, the guy's never in.
447
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,008
It was all herb's idea.
448
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,390
No, it wasn't. It was mine.
449
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:02,026
Gentlemen...
450
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,596
Arlene has just resigned.
Johnny's filling in.
451
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:08,299
Wait a minute, jennifer.
You promised me...
452
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,868
With bailey's help,
I just got a caller
453
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,370
In touch with a center
For battered women.
454
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,741
Well, that-that's good.
455
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,243
Except she probably
Wouldn't have gotten battered
456
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:22,279
Were it not for my cute,
Flip, off-the-cuff advice.
457
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:24,515
Well, now, wait a
Minute, jennifer.
458
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,903
You can't take responsibility
For something like that.
459
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:30,121
- why not?
- because we talked you
Into this. I mean...
460
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,955
You don't understand, andy.
461
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:35,058
I kind of liked
It. I enjoyed it.
462
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,706
Do you think I would've done
That day after day if I hadn't?
463
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,663
Does that sound like me?
464
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:42,900
So, now I'm going to
Take my little seat
465
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,671
Right out here in the lobby
And keep my big mouth shut.
466
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:50,107
Oh, no, jennifer. Don't do that.
467
00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:51,709
Why not?
468
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:55,112
Because you can't
Just shut yourself off.
469
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:56,213
Why not?
470
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,583
Because I need you.
471
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,854
I don't want people to need me.
472
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,290
Oh, yes, you do.
473
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,993
You want me to need you.
474
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,040
And I'll tell you
Something else, young lady.
475
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:14,264
If you hadn't been on
That phone, that woman
476
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:18,502
Probably wouldn't have gotten the
Help that she needed from you and bailey.
477
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,071
And do you really
Think that a radio show
478
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:24,375
Has anything at all to do
With a man who batters women?
479
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,413
Would you gentlemen
Please excuse me?
480
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,442
Because I think I'm
Going to cry now,
481
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,604
And I don't want
Anybody to see me do that.
482
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:38,522
Sure.
483
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,358
Yeah, of course.
484
00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:02,012
Jennifer, would you
Come in here, please?
485
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,448
- mr. Carlson...
- look, I need you.
486
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:07,651
What's wrong?
487
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,022
My train's broken.
488
00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:23,567
No, no, no. Patricia,
You're wrong.
489
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,613
well, I just don't know
What I'm gonna do about it.
490
00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:27,437
Right, right. Wait a second.
491
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:29,472
Would you just
Listen to me, please?
492
00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:31,308
- all right.
- okay.
493
00:23:31,376 --> 00:23:34,078
'cause you don't want
To look like a fool, right?
494
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:36,246
- no.
- right? Okay.
495
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,949
So now listen very
Carefully, because, uh,
496
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:42,753
I'm not always going to
Be here to help you, okay?
497
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:46,656
You always want to start on
These things from the outside,
498
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:49,860
And that'll lead you
Naturally, organically,
499
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,829
Into those inner areas,
500
00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:55,165
And that's where all
The real action is, you dig?
501
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:57,634
Now, what's furthest out
502
00:23:57,703 --> 00:24:00,503
Is the salad fork
And the soup spoon.
503
00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:03,073
And then the teaspoon, okay?
504
00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:06,143
- which side?
- on the right.
505
00:24:06,212 --> 00:24:09,179
The big fork is
On the inside left,
506
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,982
And the dessert
Spoon is above, okay?
507
00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:14,251
"Above"? Above what?
508
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:17,121
All right, pat,
Pat, pat, patricia...
509
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,022
I'll tell you what...
510
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:21,369
Put the napkin over your head
And eat with your hands, okay?
511
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,761
We've got a lot of
Calls. Let's move on here.
38771
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