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1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,917
Oh, good morning, les.
2
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:07,981
Good morning, bailey.
3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,922
- where were you sunday?
- why?
4
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:15,258
Sunday was mr. Carlson's
Church auction.
5
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,292
Oh, I know.
6
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,460
It was really embarrassing, les,
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,230
Herb and I were the only
Employees who showed up.
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,298
Well, I was called away
Suddenly to dayton.
9
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,833
Oh, come on, les.
10
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,324
Nobody is ever suddenly
Called away to dayton.
11
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,539
I was visiting my mother.
12
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,862
Oh, that's nice. How is she?
13
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,531
Even smaller, I'm afraid.
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,213
Oh, I'm sorry.
15
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,748
We had lunch together.
16
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,416
You know, it's
Very disconcerting
17
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,885
To have those two little eyes
18
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,842
Peering up at you
From table level.
19
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,658
Well, you... You didn't
Really miss much, les.
20
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,826
I went last year.
21
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,495
All they auctioned
Off was a lot of junk.
22
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,364
Oh, they had one
Nice thing this year.
23
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:59,202
It was this really amazing
Painting of a sunlit summer lawn
24
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,071
Filled with geraniums
And wicker furniture,
25
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,338
And in the background,
26
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,742
Two women strolling in
The gentle summer breeze.
27
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,343
Oh, I loved it.
28
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,879
- did you buy it?
- oh, no.
29
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,480
The painting was the
Last thing auctioned off,
30
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,515
And I couldn't afford
It, so I chickened it out.
31
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:13,539
Well, I didn't.
32
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,519
Hello, herb.
33
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,888
- you bought the painting?
- I did.
34
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,290
You bought it?
35
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,490
Don't rub it in, bailey.
36
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:24,427
Les, this is it. This
Is the painting.
37
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,461
Where were you?
38
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,696
I was out of town.
39
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,765
We had a date, lester.
40
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,268
We were going to the auction
To suck up some brownie points
41
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,669
With the big guy by
Buying something together.
42
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,505
50-50.
43
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,375
I waited and waited for you
Until there was nothing left,
44
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,943
But this painting.
45
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,811
I had to buy it.
46
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:42,979
I was visiting my mother.
47
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,469
How is shorty?
48
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,485
Watch it, tarlek.
49
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,586
I'll watch it, les,
50
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,621
When you give me the $50.
51
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,790
That's half of what I
Paid for this oil slick.
52
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,826
- now give me the money.
- forget it, herb.
53
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,194
Would you just leave les alone?
54
00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,596
You were supposed
To go to the auction
55
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,164
Because it was a worthy cause.
56
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,466
- don't be naive, bailey.
- ah!
57
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,730
Herb won't even give
Money to jerry lewis's kids.
58
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,240
Les, I've told you
A thousand times,
59
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,210
They're not jerry's kids,
They're everybody's kids.
60
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,644
Well, that's not
What jerry says.
61
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,712
Are you gonna give me the money?
62
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,246
- no!
- yes!
63
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,270
No!
64
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,750
All right, then.
65
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,734
I'm just gonna have
To punch you out.
66
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,111
You do, and I'll
See you in court.
67
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:30,493
You would do that, wouldn't you?
68
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:31,517
Uh-huh.
69
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,431
Here, bailey, hold this.
70
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,467
As a matter of
Fact, you can have it.
71
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,535
Thank you.
72
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,437
All right, lester.
73
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,772
I'm gonna go sit at my desk.
74
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,831
And I'm gonna stare at
You for as long as it takes.
75
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,312
Soon, les,
76
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,416
The guilt will be more
Than you can take.
77
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,616
Soon, les,
78
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:57,553
It will begin to
Gnaw at your insides.
79
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,655
Soon, les, you'll feel
A sense of fairness,
80
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,813
Which will compel you
To do the right thing.
81
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,694
And soon, les,
82
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,220
You'll beg me to release
You from your guilt and sin.
83
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,397
♪ baby, if you've
Ever wondered ♪
84
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,667
♪ wondered whatever
Became of me ♪
85
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,139
♪ I'm livin' on the
Air in cincinnati ♪
86
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:32,555
♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪
87
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,714
♪ got kind of tired of
Packin' and unpackin' ♪
88
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,818
♪ town to town, up
And down the dial ♪
89
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:45,368
♪ maybe you and me
Were never meant to be ♪
90
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:49,606
♪ just maybe think
Of me once in a while ♪
91
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:54,733
♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati... ♪
92
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,741
Oh, I dearly love the
Sound of a bagpipe.
93
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,727
Hoo... Uh, uh, good
Morning, jennifer.
94
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,862
And, how-how was your weekend?
95
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:13,963
Okay.
96
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,297
It's just so unfortunate
97
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,800
I had to be in spain on
Sunday and miss the auction.
98
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,303
Well, thank you for those
Appliances you donated.
99
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,138
Well, they're just so
Many washer driers
100
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,606
That's a girl can own.
101
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,242
Yep, I bought these little
Fellows at the auction.
102
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,543
You know, this kind
Of craftsmanship
103
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,412
Is almost a lost art, jennifer.
104
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,381
So rare to find nowadays.
105
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,449
And it's not immature
For a grown man
106
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,650
To have toy soldiers.
107
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,485
This is a real hobby,
108
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,209
Nothing to be ashamed of.
109
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,624
Hm, oh, yes, yeah.
110
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:44,460
- may I see that?
- well, absolutely.
111
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,895
You know, I caught
Little arthur trying to...
112
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,297
Shoot their heads
Off this morning.
113
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,631
Oh, dear!
114
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,235
Yeah, with an automatic pump
Gun I... Haven't seen before.
115
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,437
Sometimes that boy
Frightens me, jennifer.
116
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,539
I'm sure he's just
Going through a stage,
117
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,643
Much like germany did.
118
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,709
Oh, I know.
119
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,346
Sometimes I fear he's
Connected to some darker force
120
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,669
That could shake the world.
121
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,339
Well, maybe not.
122
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,686
Hey big guy, two questions.
123
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,577
One, why is jerry lewis
So popular in france?
124
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,191
Ha!...Just kidding.
125
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:19,395
And two, how much
Did the auction take in?
126
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,197
We took in over $10000.
127
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:24,567
Ooh! Right on to
The church, I love it.
128
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,069
I bought a very
Expensive painting.
129
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:29,539
You? You bought a painting?
130
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,174
That's right, jennipoo.
131
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,475
And do I see a bullfighter
132
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,699
Emblazoned across a
Field of black velvet?
133
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,547
Unfortunately, no.
134
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,249
It was just one of
Those oil things.
135
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,751
But what the heck,
It's for a good cause!
136
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,320
I didn't know you were
Interested in art, herb.
137
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,789
There are a lot of things
You don't know about me, baby.
138
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,513
I know, and thank you.
139
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,732
Herb, is there something
I can do for you?
140
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,334
Because I'm about
To become very busy.
141
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,826
I just like to say how
Much I enjoyed the auction.
142
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,472
And I'm sure the staff
143
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:06,298
Who didn't show up had
Perfectly good excuses.
144
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,845
Except les of course,
145
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:09,879
Who did a nowhere show,
146
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,881
Whereas les just
Said to me this morning,
147
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,850
"Hey, that's baldies auction,
148
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,034
I've got better things
To do with my sundays."
149
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,423
Well, I certainly appreciate
Your support, herb.
150
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:23,114
Ah! Hey, you
Know, I'm just, uh...
151
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,464
I'm just glad I was able
To open up my heart,
152
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,267
My pocket book to
Buy a painting, which...
153
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,137
In all honesty, I
Don't like that much,
154
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,405
For a church I'm not
Really a member of,
155
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,407
To help find a
Cure for a disease
156
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,576
That quite frankly doesn't
Affect that many people.
157
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,600
Well, thank you,
158
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:43,602
And I mean it.
159
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:46,850
Thank you.
160
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,507
No, thank you.
161
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,157
Herb, exactly, what
Is it that you want?
162
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,892
Would you be interested
In buying that painting back?
163
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,526
No.
164
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,763
Perfect, perfect, I understand.
165
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,265
So, what if I don't
Have the money
166
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,699
To take the family to milwaukee?
167
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:07,570
- what?
- oh, it's... Well for months now,
168
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,872
You know, lucille has
Been planning a family trip
169
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,542
To milwaukee to tour the
Different breweries there.
170
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,998
Her, uh...
171
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,181
Her brother is an
Assistant brew master.
172
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,882
Did I ever mention
That? No, probably not.
173
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,684
Well, to make a
Long story short...
174
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,720
Herb, look, will
You get of my office
175
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:24,820
If I buy your painting?
176
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,723
- yes sir.
- ha-ha.
177
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,667
Exactly how much
You want for it?
178
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:32,228
Well, whatever you
Feel in your heart is right.
179
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,896
Oh! How about $10?
180
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,166
Oh, god. Uh,
181
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,767
I'll probably need a
Little more than that.
182
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,705
You see, I paid 150
For that painting.
183
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,174
W-were you there when that
Painting was auctioned off?
184
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,676
Yes, I believe you were,
And come to think of it,
185
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,135
I got that painting for
$100. What am I thinkin' about?
186
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,586
I'll give you $50 if you get
Out of my office right now,
187
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,421
$20 if you're still here
20 seconds from now,
188
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,645
And $10 if we're face-to-face
A minute from now.
189
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,362
I'll be right back
Before you gonna say,
190
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:09,231
"Thanks, herb tarlek
For helping my church."
191
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,499
What do you mean
It's your painting?
192
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,669
Well, you gave
It to me, it's mine!
193
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,570
- when?
- ten minutes ago.
194
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:15,605
- where?
- right here.
195
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,440
You said, "Here,
You can have it."
196
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,774
Oh! Bailey.
197
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,809
Bailey, bailey, bailey...
198
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,801
"You can have it" is
Just a figure of speech.
199
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,318
People say it all the time,
It doesn't mean anything.
200
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,553
It's like, uh,
201
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,657
"Thanks a million"
Or "So's your mother."
202
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,222
It's my painting,
Herb. Thanks a million.
203
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,265
I-I really don't believe you.
204
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,533
I-I just don't
Believe you, bailey.
205
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:48,771
You come in here every morning
In your freshly pressed outfits
206
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,240
And your freshly
Scrubbed face, and...
207
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,876
And you sit here... All day,
208
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,912
Hardly speaking above
A whisper, and then,
209
00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,249
When a man is... Is
Vulnerable, shaken, upset,
210
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,650
You... You just reach out and,
211
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,410
And rip from him what is
Rightfully and fairly his!
212
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:11,316
Bailey, uh, I-I'm just
So, so disappointed!
213
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,152
Herb, so's your mother.
214
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,671
Good morning boys. I'm here.
215
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,607
I wanted you to
See my new painting.
216
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,609
Isn't it great?
217
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:30,501
Don't you just love the shading
And the color of the flowers?
218
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:38,187
Don't you just hate the shading
And the color of the flowers?
219
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,855
Bailey, don't pay any
Attention to those jerks,
220
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,346
- they don't know anything.
- well, do you like it?
221
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,727
I don't know!
222
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,217
I should surely like the frame.
223
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,854
Venus?
224
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,290
Let me see.
225
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,588
That's nice, that's really nice.
226
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,891
Thank you.
227
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,861
Well.
228
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,842
So... It's nice.
229
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,511
- you don't like it?
- I don't like it.
230
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,514
Oh! I'm really surprised at you.
231
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:39,815
I always thought
You had a little taste.
232
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,383
Not as much as herb
Of course, but still..
233
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:42,584
Oh, come on, bailey.
234
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,953
Before I could
Like the painting,
235
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:47,456
I have to be able to smell
The psychic sweat of the artist
236
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,792
Coming off the canvas, you know?
237
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,761
I mean I-I-I-wa-I want to sense
238
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,195
That he shares my vision
239
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:54,864
That we're all morally adrift
240
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,767
In the chaotic world of
Distorted social values.
241
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,802
I-I want to feel his,
242
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,904
His loathing, his self-contempt
243
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,706
And all those dark urges.
244
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,307
I want to sense from his work
245
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,477
That he's come to grips
With his own homosexuality
246
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,379
If not going to jail for.
247
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,448
I wan to know...
Fever: oh, shut up!
248
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,482
- what?
- shut up!
249
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,506
Okay.
250
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,788
Here you are. There it is.
251
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,822
Leave it alone, herb.
252
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,490
But it is mine!
253
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,858
Here's the receipt, I found it.
254
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,627
- w-what's going on?
- he gave me the painting,
255
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,395
Now he's trying
To steal it back.
256
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,531
That's right, and I
Can't think of a thing
257
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,233
That's gonna stop me.
258
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,417
What about the four of
Us beating you to dust?
259
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,630
You do, and I'll
See you in court.
260
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,735
We don't care.
261
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,692
Can I speak privately
With you in the hall?
262
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,782
- nope.
- okay.
263
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,285
Al-all right.
264
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,225
Herb. Oh, herb.
265
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,773
Oh, hi bailey how's it going?
266
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,241
Stop it.
267
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:15,377
Well, how would you
Feel of saving that $100
268
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,635
To help take the little
Lady to oklahoma city?
269
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,217
Cowboy hall of
Fame is down there,
270
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,451
And her brother
Used to be a trail boss.
271
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:26,589
Did I ever mention
That? No, probably not.
272
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,490
You found somebody to
Buy the painting, didn't you?
273
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,326
Oh, bailey, it...
274
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,229
It's not the money, I
Don't care about that.
275
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,898
- who?
- mr. Carlson,
276
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,762
Uh, he-he loves the darn thing.
277
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:39,824
How much?
278
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,971
How much?
279
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,955
How much? That's
English "How much?"
280
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,745
Well, I don't know,
About, about $160.
281
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,414
- oh... Really?
- yeah.
282
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,583
Uh, were you in there
When we talked about it?
283
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,707
No, of course, you weren't. 160.
284
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:04,126
- I'll give you $200.
- two hundred...
285
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,461
Oh, gee, bailey, I
Don't know, uh...
286
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,596
I'll go to the bank at lunch.
287
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,398
All right, if it means
That much to you.
288
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,301
Oh! It does. I love it.
I love this painting.
289
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,769
Oh, herb, thank you.
290
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,304
Your mother would
Be proud of you.
291
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,429
Yeah, sure she would.
292
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,835
God, I have no values.
293
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,890
So the big tall guy
Says to the doctor,
294
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,892
"Are ya sure that's
Your elephant?"
295
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,215
And the doctor...
296
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:42,731
The doctor...
- it was that...
- come in
297
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,501
Big guy, bad news.
298
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,436
I can't sell you that painting.
299
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,704
Okay.
300
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,539
So, now, th-th-the doctor
301
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,808
Takes a look over
At the kangaroo
302
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,476
Who's seated
Further down the bar.
303
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,444
Oh, I've heard this
One, and he says
304
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,802
"If that's your elephant,
You buy him a drink."
305
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,074
Funny, funny, funny, big guy.
306
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,125
So herby, did you sell the
Painting to someone else?
307
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,192
Yeah.
308
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,261
- should have kept it.
- why?
309
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,597
Because it was donated by
The van gieson family, jug head.
310
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,588
The van giesons? Oh, my!
311
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,703
Who's that?
312
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:24,306
- you've never heard of them?
- no. Maybe.
313
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,543
Well, herb, they're a
Very rich old family.
314
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,578
You know, half the paintings
At the county museum
315
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,713
Were donated by them.
316
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,775
I knew that.
317
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:48,263
Uh-huh, would you please
Have mrs. Van gieson call me?
318
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,532
Right.
319
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,568
Herbert ruggles,
R-u-g-g-l-e-s, tarlek the third.
320
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,336
Oh, no, no, no...
No, the fourth.
321
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,370
Okay?
322
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,573
Yeah, it-it-it concerns
A work of art,
323
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:58,757
You know, like a painting.
324
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,265
Right, there you have my number.
325
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,502
Right... No... Thank you.
326
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,105
And au revoir.
327
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,509
That's french.
328
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,613
What an idiot.
329
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,659
- herb.
- we got to talk bailey.
330
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,630
- here's my money.
- huh, don't want it.
331
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,377
Where is my painting?
332
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,580
Well, I... I had
To take it back.
333
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,671
Oh, no, you don't!
We made a deal.
334
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:46,354
Uh, bailey, evidently
You don't know
335
00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:49,146
What the word
"Deal" means, you see.
336
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,163
A deal is when
Papers are signed,
337
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:56,565
Receipts are given,
338
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,667
Legal obligations take place.
339
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,235
I think I'll call the police.
340
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,939
- what?
- that's right.
341
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,339
You would too, wouldn't you?
342
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,363
You're darn right.
343
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,442
I don't care.
344
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,487
Hello... Oh, stop
It, put it away.
345
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,584
All right, the painting
Is yours, I'll just...
346
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,753
I'll just buy it back for $300.
347
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,388
Oh! No!
348
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,324
I like the painting, you don't.
349
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,292
I want it. I want to admire it.
350
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,828
I like it. I... It makes
Me feel good.
351
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:26,829
Four hundred.
352
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,631
Ugh! No, you don't understand!
353
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,799
Not everything in
This world is for sale.
354
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,802
Not everything is commerce.
355
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,669
$500.
356
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,794
Oh, oh.
357
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,231
All right.
358
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,844
Deal.
359
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,179
Five hundred is too much.
360
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,337
Five hundred is a price
An art appreciates.
361
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,254
All right, 500, I'll
Write you a check.
362
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,658
And I want your receipt
From the auction as tax deduct
363
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,602
Or I'll write you
Another receipt.
364
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,397
You know, bailey,
365
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,466
Deep down inside
You are just another
366
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,701
Shrewd businessman like myself.
367
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,537
Oh, no, I'm not, but I know you.
368
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,474
You think everything is business
And that everything is a deal.
369
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,509
- no, I don't.
- yes, you do.
370
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,334
You got poor les to give
You 50 bucks, didn't you?
371
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,416
Yes, I did, thank you.
372
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,253
I just stared at him
Through the dj window till
373
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:27,423
Sweat rolled down
The back of his neck,
374
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:31,327
Fifty bucks just popped
Right out of his back pocket.
375
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,795
And at home you're a real
Sweet guy with the kids.
376
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,598
I am.
377
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:39,223
Okay. Your 200
And my check for 3.
378
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,293
Okay.
379
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,173
Lester baby!
380
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,508
Herb, I already gave you
$50, now leave me alone!
381
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:50,412
I know and you were right
All along and I was wrong.
382
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,476
Here's your 50 back.
383
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:55,173
I won't take it.
384
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,753
Come on, take it!
385
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,288
- no.
- yes.
386
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,089
- no.
- why not?
387
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,290
Because it's not fair.
388
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:03,525
Ugh!
389
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:08,630
Les, fair is just a word
People use. Like, uh...
390
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,665
All right, average.
391
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,167
You shouldn't take the 50, les.
392
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,791
The painting's worth 500 now,
Herb owes you half of that.
393
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,797
What's a stroke feel like?
394
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,217
Well, obviously you
Found another buyer.
395
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,652
Half the sale price
Must go to les.
396
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,288
No, I didn't find
Another buyer really,
397
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,789
I'm not lying this time.
398
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,653
I mean, I mean I'm not lying.
399
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,850
Look, I-I-I just
Want the painting.
400
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,452
I tell you what les.
401
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,800
I'll give you your 50
402
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,526
And I'll write you
Out a check for 100.
403
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,240
- well...
- don't do it, les.
404
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,430
Do it, les. Trust me.
405
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,602
All right, herb.
406
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,664
I hate him but he
Is my best friend.
407
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,219
Les, it's so dumb.
408
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,521
He has found out that
The painting is valuable.
409
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,491
This is another one
Of his little schemes.
410
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,160
- is that true, herb?
- okay, okay.
411
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,685
All right, les. It is a scheme.
412
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,499
But when have you ever known
413
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,403
Any of my schemes
To pan out huh?
414
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,337
I mean when was it that
415
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,628
I never wound up on
The short end of a stick?
416
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,733
And the 50?
417
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,784
Herb, do you know anything about
A call for ruggles the fourth?
418
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,275
Oh, I'll get that. Thank you.
419
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,721
Hello, mrs. Ruggles...
420
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:43,425
Uh, oh, I'm sorry. Mrs.
Van gieson, I'm ruggles.
421
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:44,826
All right, listen.
422
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,197
I purchased a painting which
You donated to a church auction.
423
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,198
Yes, right.
424
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:52,301
Uh, would you be so kind as to,
425
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,703
You know, give me a brief
History on that painting?
426
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,727
Thank you.
427
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,431
Uh-huh!
428
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,402
Uh-huh!
429
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,874
Thank you.
430
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,011
Au revoir.
431
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:31,796
Are you okay?
432
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,245
Her son did it.
433
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,079
He paints a painting a day
434
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:01,458
Because he's in prison
For selling quaaludes.
435
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,876
Looks like the roosters
Have come home to roost.
436
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,433
That's one way of putting it.
437
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,770
I'm out.
438
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,538
Let's see...
439
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,746
100 for the painting.
440
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,249
100 to les.
441
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,722
300 to bailey.
442
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,893
$500.
443
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,331
I'm out $500!
444
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,546
See what greed got you?
445
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,815
Please, bailey, no lectures.
446
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:50,607
Herb, I want to buy
The painting back.
447
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,592
- you do?
- yes, herb.
448
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,526
For $500?
449
00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:02,297
No, no. I'll keep my cash and
I'll just tear up your check.
450
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,856
Bailey, y-you'd be getting
The painting for free.
451
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,204
Really?
452
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:13,375
- that, that's not fair!
- you mean as in state fair?
453
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:17,100
- oh, bailey.
- please, herb, no lectures.
454
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,782
Okay.
455
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,383
You're lucky.
456
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:22,567
I hope I don't get luckier.
457
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:24,810
Where is it?
458
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,232
- behind the couch.
- oh!
459
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,393
You know, that was a very
Nice thing for bailey to do.
460
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,297
She could have kept your check.
461
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:43,238
Yes, it was a very nice
Thing for bailey to do.
462
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,539
Speaking of nice,
463
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,842
I believe you have $150
Of my money on your desk.
464
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,199
Oh, yes.
465
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,552
Herb, I think you ought to
Learn a lesson from all this.
466
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:59,877
So I'm going to give
This to jerry's kids.
467
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,153
His real kids.
468
00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:13,724
- hi mr. Carlson.
- hi les.
469
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:18,440
See, where were you on sunday?
470
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,730
Yeah, where were you?
471
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,212
I was in dayton visiting
My mother, mr. Carlson.
472
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,848
Something I'm sure
That you can appreciate,
473
00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:28,516
But I wanted you to
Know that my thoughts
474
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:31,353
Were with you and
Your very fine auction.
475
00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:32,788
Oh, it's very kind of you, les.
476
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:35,924
And I would like to
Endorse this check
477
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:39,561
In the amount of $100
478
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:42,285
As my small way of
Letting you know...
479
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,623
I care.
480
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,470
Oh, thanks les.
481
00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:49,871
Now, I must say goodbye
482
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,429
So that I can go home and
Prepare my work for tomorrow.
483
00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:54,732
Goodbye, herb.
484
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,270
Now, is that some kind
Of a guy or what, huh?
485
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,690
You should see
Somebody about that.
34593
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