All language subtitles for WKRP in Cincinnati S3E09 1080p H.264 The Painting (moviesbyrizzo TV upl)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,917 Oh, good morning, les. 2 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:07,981 Good morning, bailey. 3 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,922 - where were you sunday? - why? 4 00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:15,258 Sunday was mr. Carlson's Church auction. 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:16,292 Oh, I know. 6 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,460 It was really embarrassing, les, 7 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,230 Herb and I were the only Employees who showed up. 8 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,298 Well, I was called away Suddenly to dayton. 9 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,833 Oh, come on, les. 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,324 Nobody is ever suddenly Called away to dayton. 11 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,539 I was visiting my mother. 12 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,862 Oh, that's nice. How is she? 13 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,531 Even smaller, I'm afraid. 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,213 Oh, I'm sorry. 15 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,748 We had lunch together. 16 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,416 You know, it's Very disconcerting 17 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,885 To have those two little eyes 18 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,842 Peering up at you From table level. 19 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,658 Well, you... You didn't Really miss much, les. 20 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,826 I went last year. 21 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,495 All they auctioned Off was a lot of junk. 22 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,364 Oh, they had one Nice thing this year. 23 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:59,202 It was this really amazing Painting of a sunlit summer lawn 24 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,071 Filled with geraniums And wicker furniture, 25 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,338 And in the background, 26 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,742 Two women strolling in The gentle summer breeze. 27 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,343 Oh, I loved it. 28 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,879 - did you buy it? - oh, no. 29 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,480 The painting was the Last thing auctioned off, 30 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,515 And I couldn't afford It, so I chickened it out. 31 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:13,539 Well, I didn't. 32 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,519 Hello, herb. 33 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,888 - you bought the painting? - I did. 34 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,290 You bought it? 35 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,490 Don't rub it in, bailey. 36 00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:24,427 Les, this is it. This Is the painting. 37 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,461 Where were you? 38 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:26,696 I was out of town. 39 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,765 We had a date, lester. 40 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,268 We were going to the auction To suck up some brownie points 41 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,669 With the big guy by Buying something together. 42 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,505 50-50. 43 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,375 I waited and waited for you Until there was nothing left, 44 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,943 But this painting. 45 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,811 I had to buy it. 46 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:42,979 I was visiting my mother. 47 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,469 How is shorty? 48 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,485 Watch it, tarlek. 49 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,586 I'll watch it, les, 50 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,621 When you give me the $50. 51 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,790 That's half of what I Paid for this oil slick. 52 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,826 - now give me the money. - forget it, herb. 53 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,194 Would you just leave les alone? 54 00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,596 You were supposed To go to the auction 55 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,164 Because it was a worthy cause. 56 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,466 - don't be naive, bailey. - ah! 57 00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,730 Herb won't even give Money to jerry lewis's kids. 58 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,240 Les, I've told you A thousand times, 59 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,210 They're not jerry's kids, They're everybody's kids. 60 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,644 Well, that's not What jerry says. 61 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,712 Are you gonna give me the money? 62 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,246 - no! - yes! 63 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,270 No! 64 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,750 All right, then. 65 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,734 I'm just gonna have To punch you out. 66 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,111 You do, and I'll See you in court. 67 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:30,493 You would do that, wouldn't you? 68 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:31,517 Uh-huh. 69 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,431 Here, bailey, hold this. 70 00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,467 As a matter of Fact, you can have it. 71 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,535 Thank you. 72 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,437 All right, lester. 73 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,772 I'm gonna go sit at my desk. 74 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,831 And I'm gonna stare at You for as long as it takes. 75 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,312 Soon, les, 76 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,416 The guilt will be more Than you can take. 77 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,616 Soon, les, 78 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:57,553 It will begin to Gnaw at your insides. 79 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,655 Soon, les, you'll feel A sense of fairness, 80 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,813 Which will compel you To do the right thing. 81 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,694 And soon, les, 82 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,220 You'll beg me to release You from your guilt and sin. 83 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,397 ♪ baby, if you've Ever wondered ♪ 84 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,667 ♪ wondered whatever Became of me ♪ 85 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,139 ♪ I'm livin' on the Air in cincinnati ♪ 86 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:32,555 ♪ cincinnati, wkrp ♪ 87 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,714 ♪ got kind of tired of Packin' and unpackin' ♪ 88 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,818 ♪ town to town, up And down the dial ♪ 89 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:45,368 ♪ maybe you and me Were never meant to be ♪ 90 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:49,606 ♪ just maybe think Of me once in a while ♪ 91 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:54,733 ♪ I'm at wkrp in cincinnati... ♪ 92 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,741 Oh, I dearly love the Sound of a bagpipe. 93 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,727 Hoo... Uh, uh, good Morning, jennifer. 94 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,862 And, how-how was your weekend? 95 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:13,963 Okay. 96 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,297 It's just so unfortunate 97 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,800 I had to be in spain on Sunday and miss the auction. 98 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,303 Well, thank you for those Appliances you donated. 99 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,138 Well, they're just so Many washer driers 100 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,606 That's a girl can own. 101 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,242 Yep, I bought these little Fellows at the auction. 102 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,543 You know, this kind Of craftsmanship 103 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,412 Is almost a lost art, jennifer. 104 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,381 So rare to find nowadays. 105 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,449 And it's not immature For a grown man 106 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,650 To have toy soldiers. 107 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,485 This is a real hobby, 108 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,209 Nothing to be ashamed of. 109 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,624 Hm, oh, yes, yeah. 110 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:44,460 - may I see that? - well, absolutely. 111 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,895 You know, I caught Little arthur trying to... 112 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,297 Shoot their heads Off this morning. 113 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,631 Oh, dear! 114 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:52,235 Yeah, with an automatic pump Gun I... Haven't seen before. 115 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,437 Sometimes that boy Frightens me, jennifer. 116 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,539 I'm sure he's just Going through a stage, 117 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,643 Much like germany did. 118 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,709 Oh, I know. 119 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,346 Sometimes I fear he's Connected to some darker force 120 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,669 That could shake the world. 121 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,339 Well, maybe not. 122 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,686 Hey big guy, two questions. 123 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,577 One, why is jerry lewis So popular in france? 124 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,191 Ha!...Just kidding. 125 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:19,395 And two, how much Did the auction take in? 126 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,197 We took in over $10000. 127 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:24,567 Ooh! Right on to The church, I love it. 128 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,069 I bought a very Expensive painting. 129 00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:29,539 You? You bought a painting? 130 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,174 That's right, jennipoo. 131 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,475 And do I see a bullfighter 132 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,699 Emblazoned across a Field of black velvet? 133 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,547 Unfortunately, no. 134 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,249 It was just one of Those oil things. 135 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,751 But what the heck, It's for a good cause! 136 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,320 I didn't know you were Interested in art, herb. 137 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,789 There are a lot of things You don't know about me, baby. 138 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,513 I know, and thank you. 139 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,732 Herb, is there something I can do for you? 140 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,334 Because I'm about To become very busy. 141 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,826 I just like to say how Much I enjoyed the auction. 142 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,472 And I'm sure the staff 143 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:06,298 Who didn't show up had Perfectly good excuses. 144 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,845 Except les of course, 145 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:09,879 Who did a nowhere show, 146 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,881 Whereas les just Said to me this morning, 147 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,850 "Hey, that's baldies auction, 148 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,034 I've got better things To do with my sundays." 149 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,423 Well, I certainly appreciate Your support, herb. 150 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:23,114 Ah! Hey, you Know, I'm just, uh... 151 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,464 I'm just glad I was able To open up my heart, 152 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,267 My pocket book to Buy a painting, which... 153 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,137 In all honesty, I Don't like that much, 154 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,405 For a church I'm not Really a member of, 155 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,407 To help find a Cure for a disease 156 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,576 That quite frankly doesn't Affect that many people. 157 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,600 Well, thank you, 158 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:43,602 And I mean it. 159 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:46,850 Thank you. 160 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,507 No, thank you. 161 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,157 Herb, exactly, what Is it that you want? 162 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,892 Would you be interested In buying that painting back? 163 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,526 No. 164 00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,763 Perfect, perfect, I understand. 165 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,265 So, what if I don't Have the money 166 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,699 To take the family to milwaukee? 167 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:07,570 - what? - oh, it's... Well for months now, 168 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,872 You know, lucille has Been planning a family trip 169 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,542 To milwaukee to tour the Different breweries there. 170 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,998 Her, uh... 171 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,181 Her brother is an Assistant brew master. 172 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,882 Did I ever mention That? No, probably not. 173 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,684 Well, to make a Long story short... 174 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,720 Herb, look, will You get of my office 175 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:24,820 If I buy your painting? 176 00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,723 - yes sir. - ha-ha. 177 00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,667 Exactly how much You want for it? 178 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:32,228 Well, whatever you Feel in your heart is right. 179 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,896 Oh! How about $10? 180 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,166 Oh, god. Uh, 181 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,767 I'll probably need a Little more than that. 182 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,705 You see, I paid 150 For that painting. 183 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,174 W-were you there when that Painting was auctioned off? 184 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,676 Yes, I believe you were, And come to think of it, 185 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,135 I got that painting for $100. What am I thinkin' about? 186 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,586 I'll give you $50 if you get Out of my office right now, 187 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,421 $20 if you're still here 20 seconds from now, 188 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,645 And $10 if we're face-to-face A minute from now. 189 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,362 I'll be right back Before you gonna say, 190 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:09,231 "Thanks, herb tarlek For helping my church." 191 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,499 What do you mean It's your painting? 192 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,669 Well, you gave It to me, it's mine! 193 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,570 - when? - ten minutes ago. 194 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:15,605 - where? - right here. 195 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,440 You said, "Here, You can have it." 196 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,774 Oh! Bailey. 197 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,809 Bailey, bailey, bailey... 198 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,801 "You can have it" is Just a figure of speech. 199 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,318 People say it all the time, It doesn't mean anything. 200 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,553 It's like, uh, 201 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,657 "Thanks a million" Or "So's your mother." 202 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,222 It's my painting, Herb. Thanks a million. 203 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,265 I-I really don't believe you. 204 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,533 I-I just don't Believe you, bailey. 205 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:48,771 You come in here every morning In your freshly pressed outfits 206 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,240 And your freshly Scrubbed face, and... 207 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,876 And you sit here... All day, 208 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,912 Hardly speaking above A whisper, and then, 209 00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,249 When a man is... Is Vulnerable, shaken, upset, 210 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,650 You... You just reach out and, 211 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,410 And rip from him what is Rightfully and fairly his! 212 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:11,316 Bailey, uh, I-I'm just So, so disappointed! 213 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,152 Herb, so's your mother. 214 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,671 Good morning boys. I'm here. 215 00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,607 I wanted you to See my new painting. 216 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,609 Isn't it great? 217 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:30,501 Don't you just love the shading And the color of the flowers? 218 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:38,187 Don't you just hate the shading And the color of the flowers? 219 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,855 Bailey, don't pay any Attention to those jerks, 220 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,346 - they don't know anything. - well, do you like it? 221 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,727 I don't know! 222 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,217 I should surely like the frame. 223 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,854 Venus? 224 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,290 Let me see. 225 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,588 That's nice, that's really nice. 226 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,891 Thank you. 227 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:28,861 Well. 228 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,842 So... It's nice. 229 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,511 - you don't like it? - I don't like it. 230 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,514 Oh! I'm really surprised at you. 231 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:39,815 I always thought You had a little taste. 232 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,383 Not as much as herb Of course, but still.. 233 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:42,584 Oh, come on, bailey. 234 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,953 Before I could Like the painting, 235 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:47,456 I have to be able to smell The psychic sweat of the artist 236 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,792 Coming off the canvas, you know? 237 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,761 I mean I-I-I-wa-I want to sense 238 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,195 That he shares my vision 239 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:54,864 That we're all morally adrift 240 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,767 In the chaotic world of Distorted social values. 241 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,802 I-I want to feel his, 242 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,904 His loathing, his self-contempt 243 00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,706 And all those dark urges. 244 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,307 I want to sense from his work 245 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,477 That he's come to grips With his own homosexuality 246 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,379 If not going to jail for. 247 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,448 I wan to know... Fever: oh, shut up! 248 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,482 - what? - shut up! 249 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,506 Okay. 250 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,788 Here you are. There it is. 251 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,822 Leave it alone, herb. 252 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,490 But it is mine! 253 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,858 Here's the receipt, I found it. 254 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,627 - w-what's going on? - he gave me the painting, 255 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,395 Now he's trying To steal it back. 256 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,531 That's right, and I Can't think of a thing 257 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,233 That's gonna stop me. 258 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,417 What about the four of Us beating you to dust? 259 00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,630 You do, and I'll See you in court. 260 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,735 We don't care. 261 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,692 Can I speak privately With you in the hall? 262 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,782 - nope. - okay. 263 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,285 Al-all right. 264 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,225 Herb. Oh, herb. 265 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,773 Oh, hi bailey how's it going? 266 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,241 Stop it. 267 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:15,377 Well, how would you Feel of saving that $100 268 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,635 To help take the little Lady to oklahoma city? 269 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,217 Cowboy hall of Fame is down there, 270 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,451 And her brother Used to be a trail boss. 271 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:26,589 Did I ever mention That? No, probably not. 272 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,490 You found somebody to Buy the painting, didn't you? 273 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,326 Oh, bailey, it... 274 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,229 It's not the money, I Don't care about that. 275 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,898 - who? - mr. Carlson, 276 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,762 Uh, he-he loves the darn thing. 277 00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:39,824 How much? 278 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,971 How much? 279 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,955 How much? That's English "How much?" 280 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:49,745 Well, I don't know, About, about $160. 281 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,414 - oh... Really? - yeah. 282 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,583 Uh, were you in there When we talked about it? 283 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,707 No, of course, you weren't. 160. 284 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:04,126 - I'll give you $200. - two hundred... 285 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,461 Oh, gee, bailey, I Don't know, uh... 286 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,596 I'll go to the bank at lunch. 287 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,398 All right, if it means That much to you. 288 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,301 Oh! It does. I love it. I love this painting. 289 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,769 Oh, herb, thank you. 290 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,304 Your mother would Be proud of you. 291 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,429 Yeah, sure she would. 292 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,835 God, I have no values. 293 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,890 So the big tall guy Says to the doctor, 294 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,892 "Are ya sure that's Your elephant?" 295 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,215 And the doctor... 296 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:42,731 The doctor... - it was that... - come in 297 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:45,501 Big guy, bad news. 298 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,436 I can't sell you that painting. 299 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,704 Okay. 300 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,539 So, now, th-th-the doctor 301 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,808 Takes a look over At the kangaroo 302 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,476 Who's seated Further down the bar. 303 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,444 Oh, I've heard this One, and he says 304 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,802 "If that's your elephant, You buy him a drink." 305 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,074 Funny, funny, funny, big guy. 306 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,125 So herby, did you sell the Painting to someone else? 307 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,192 Yeah. 308 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,261 - should have kept it. - why? 309 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,597 Because it was donated by The van gieson family, jug head. 310 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,588 The van giesons? Oh, my! 311 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,703 Who's that? 312 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:24,306 - you've never heard of them? - no. Maybe. 313 00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,543 Well, herb, they're a Very rich old family. 314 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,578 You know, half the paintings At the county museum 315 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,713 Were donated by them. 316 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,775 I knew that. 317 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:48,263 Uh-huh, would you please Have mrs. Van gieson call me? 318 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,532 Right. 319 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,568 Herbert ruggles, R-u-g-g-l-e-s, tarlek the third. 320 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,336 Oh, no, no, no... No, the fourth. 321 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,370 Okay? 322 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,573 Yeah, it-it-it concerns A work of art, 323 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:58,757 You know, like a painting. 324 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,265 Right, there you have my number. 325 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,502 Right... No... Thank you. 326 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,105 And au revoir. 327 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,509 That's french. 328 00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,613 What an idiot. 329 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,659 - herb. - we got to talk bailey. 330 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,630 - here's my money. - huh, don't want it. 331 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,377 Where is my painting? 332 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,580 Well, I... I had To take it back. 333 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,671 Oh, no, you don't! We made a deal. 334 00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:46,354 Uh, bailey, evidently You don't know 335 00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:49,146 What the word "Deal" means, you see. 336 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,163 A deal is when Papers are signed, 337 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:56,565 Receipts are given, 338 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,667 Legal obligations take place. 339 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,235 I think I'll call the police. 340 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,939 - what? - that's right. 341 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,339 You would too, wouldn't you? 342 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,363 You're darn right. 343 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,442 I don't care. 344 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,487 Hello... Oh, stop It, put it away. 345 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,584 All right, the painting Is yours, I'll just... 346 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,753 I'll just buy it back for $300. 347 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,388 Oh! No! 348 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,324 I like the painting, you don't. 349 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,292 I want it. I want to admire it. 350 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,828 I like it. I... It makes Me feel good. 351 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:26,829 Four hundred. 352 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,631 Ugh! No, you don't understand! 353 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,799 Not everything in This world is for sale. 354 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,802 Not everything is commerce. 355 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,669 $500. 356 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,794 Oh, oh. 357 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,231 All right. 358 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,844 Deal. 359 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,179 Five hundred is too much. 360 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,337 Five hundred is a price An art appreciates. 361 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,254 All right, 500, I'll Write you a check. 362 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,658 And I want your receipt From the auction as tax deduct 363 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,602 Or I'll write you Another receipt. 364 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,397 You know, bailey, 365 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,466 Deep down inside You are just another 366 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,701 Shrewd businessman like myself. 367 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,537 Oh, no, I'm not, but I know you. 368 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,474 You think everything is business And that everything is a deal. 369 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,509 - no, I don't. - yes, you do. 370 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,334 You got poor les to give You 50 bucks, didn't you? 371 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,416 Yes, I did, thank you. 372 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,253 I just stared at him Through the dj window till 373 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:27,423 Sweat rolled down The back of his neck, 374 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:31,327 Fifty bucks just popped Right out of his back pocket. 375 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,795 And at home you're a real Sweet guy with the kids. 376 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,598 I am. 377 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:39,223 Okay. Your 200 And my check for 3. 378 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,293 Okay. 379 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,173 Lester baby! 380 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,508 Herb, I already gave you $50, now leave me alone! 381 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:50,412 I know and you were right All along and I was wrong. 382 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,476 Here's your 50 back. 383 00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:55,173 I won't take it. 384 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,753 Come on, take it! 385 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,288 - no. - yes. 386 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,089 - no. - why not? 387 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,290 Because it's not fair. 388 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:03,525 Ugh! 389 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:08,630 Les, fair is just a word People use. Like, uh... 390 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,665 All right, average. 391 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,167 You shouldn't take the 50, les. 392 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,791 The painting's worth 500 now, Herb owes you half of that. 393 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,797 What's a stroke feel like? 394 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,217 Well, obviously you Found another buyer. 395 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,652 Half the sale price Must go to les. 396 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,288 No, I didn't find Another buyer really, 397 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,789 I'm not lying this time. 398 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,653 I mean, I mean I'm not lying. 399 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,850 Look, I-I-I just Want the painting. 400 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,452 I tell you what les. 401 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,800 I'll give you your 50 402 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,526 And I'll write you Out a check for 100. 403 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,240 - well... - don't do it, les. 404 00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,430 Do it, les. Trust me. 405 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,602 All right, herb. 406 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,664 I hate him but he Is my best friend. 407 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,219 Les, it's so dumb. 408 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,521 He has found out that The painting is valuable. 409 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,491 This is another one Of his little schemes. 410 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,160 - is that true, herb? - okay, okay. 411 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,685 All right, les. It is a scheme. 412 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,499 But when have you ever known 413 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,403 Any of my schemes To pan out huh? 414 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,337 I mean when was it that 415 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,628 I never wound up on The short end of a stick? 416 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:28,733 And the 50? 417 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,784 Herb, do you know anything about A call for ruggles the fourth? 418 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,275 Oh, I'll get that. Thank you. 419 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,721 Hello, mrs. Ruggles... 420 00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:43,425 Uh, oh, I'm sorry. Mrs. Van gieson, I'm ruggles. 421 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:44,826 All right, listen. 422 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,197 I purchased a painting which You donated to a church auction. 423 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,198 Yes, right. 424 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:52,301 Uh, would you be so kind as to, 425 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,703 You know, give me a brief History on that painting? 426 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,727 Thank you. 427 00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,431 Uh-huh! 428 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:03,402 Uh-huh! 429 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,874 Thank you. 430 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,011 Au revoir. 431 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:31,796 Are you okay? 432 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,245 Her son did it. 433 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,079 He paints a painting a day 434 00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:01,458 Because he's in prison For selling quaaludes. 435 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,876 Looks like the roosters Have come home to roost. 436 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,433 That's one way of putting it. 437 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,770 I'm out. 438 00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,538 Let's see... 439 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,746 100 for the painting. 440 00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,249 100 to les. 441 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,722 300 to bailey. 442 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,893 $500. 443 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,331 I'm out $500! 444 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,546 See what greed got you? 445 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,815 Please, bailey, no lectures. 446 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:50,607 Herb, I want to buy The painting back. 447 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,592 - you do? - yes, herb. 448 00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,526 For $500? 449 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:02,297 No, no. I'll keep my cash and I'll just tear up your check. 450 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,856 Bailey, y-you'd be getting The painting for free. 451 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,204 Really? 452 00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:13,375 - that, that's not fair! - you mean as in state fair? 453 00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:17,100 - oh, bailey. - please, herb, no lectures. 454 00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,782 Okay. 455 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,383 You're lucky. 456 00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:22,567 I hope I don't get luckier. 457 00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:24,810 Where is it? 458 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,232 - behind the couch. - oh! 459 00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,393 You know, that was a very Nice thing for bailey to do. 460 00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,297 She could have kept your check. 461 00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:43,238 Yes, it was a very nice Thing for bailey to do. 462 00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,539 Speaking of nice, 463 00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,842 I believe you have $150 Of my money on your desk. 464 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,199 Oh, yes. 465 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,552 Herb, I think you ought to Learn a lesson from all this. 466 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:59,877 So I'm going to give This to jerry's kids. 467 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,153 His real kids. 468 00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:13,724 - hi mr. Carlson. - hi les. 469 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:18,440 See, where were you on sunday? 470 00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,730 Yeah, where were you? 471 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,212 I was in dayton visiting My mother, mr. Carlson. 472 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,848 Something I'm sure That you can appreciate, 473 00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:28,516 But I wanted you to Know that my thoughts 474 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:31,353 Were with you and Your very fine auction. 475 00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:32,788 Oh, it's very kind of you, les. 476 00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:35,924 And I would like to Endorse this check 477 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:39,561 In the amount of $100 478 00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:42,285 As my small way of Letting you know... 479 00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,623 I care. 480 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,470 Oh, thanks les. 481 00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:49,871 Now, I must say goodbye 482 00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,429 So that I can go home and Prepare my work for tomorrow. 483 00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:54,732 Goodbye, herb. 484 00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,270 Now, is that some kind Of a guy or what, huh? 485 00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,690 You should see Somebody about that. 34593

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