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1
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I'm gonna rip out your spleen
2
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,393
and feed it to your husband!
3
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,979
Uh-oh.
Wouldn't want that.
4
00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:46,522
Yikes, Morty, we'd better run
before it figures out
5
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,524
what a husband is.
6
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,984
This carnival of nightmares
7
00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,277
used to be scary, right?
8
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:51,737
Eh.
We've seen too much.
9
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:54,323
It sucks, you know,
'cause it's fun to break off
10
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:55,531
a scare now and then.
11
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,949
Did I hear you fellas
wishin' for some
12
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,494
good old fashioned scares?
13
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,787
I mean, I more wish
you wouldn't eavesdrop.
14
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,954
Yeah, who are you?
15
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,332
Does the suit mean
you work here,
16
00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:05,000
or that you super
don't work here?
17
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,835
Like yourselves,
I'm a connoisseur of fear.
18
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,212
I'm also originally from Earth.
19
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,131
And did you know
Earth is the home
20
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,926
of the single scariest place
in the galaxy?
21
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:15,426
I can show you if you like.
22
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,263
We were headed that way anyway.
23
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,680
Take a left.
Almost there.
24
00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,182
We know where Earth is.
25
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,185
For guys like you, you know,
who've seen it all,
26
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:26,188
there's only a few real fears
left to conquer.
27
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:31,174
And one of them is
right down here.
28
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,238
Okay, what the hell?
29
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,864
Yeah, this is punching down.
30
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,698
Denny's is a nice chain
that gives people starchy food
31
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,367
when they're up late.
It's a hack joke, buddy.
32
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:42,412
No, this is the place.
Good luck to both of you.
33
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,414
I'm gonna get myself a slam.
34
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,207
He just wanted a ride, right?
35
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,502
He certainly took us for one.
36
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,128
Welp, as long as we're here.
37
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,215
Okay, Lumberjack Slam,
Grand Slamwhich,
38
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:55,759
Pancake Puppies,
Slamburger, two milkshakes...
39
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,009
and an order of Cheddar Tots.
40
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,679
Let me know when you want
your check,
41
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,680
and if you're here for The Hole,
it's in the men's bathroom.
42
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,849
The what now?
Hole?
43
00:02:01,873 --> 00:02:04,584
The Fear Hole.
Men's bathroom.
44
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,903
Well, it's definitely a hole.
45
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,489
They weren't lying about that.
46
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,657
Is that hair?
Seaweed?
47
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,701
Boy, it's really circling
the whole rim, huh.
48
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,413
Guess you got to jump in
without touching the sides?
49
00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:26,080
You think there's spikes
on the bottom?
50
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,748
I don't think
they want you to go in there
51
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:28,959
and just die.
52
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,294
What kind of business
would that be?
53
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,669
Well, they're not
drowning in money.
54
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,838
They still have
a built-in TV/VCR.
55
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,007
Morty: Hey, it's
that carnival guy.
56
00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:36,382
Oh, so he gets a kickback.
57
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,093
Hi. Welcome to The Hole.
Here's how it works.
58
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,763
You jump in. The Hole manifests
your greatest fear.
59
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,932
You conquer that fear,
and come out, well, fearless.
60
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,602
And you get your picture
on the wall!
61
00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:48,394
What does The Hole
get out of it?
62
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,314
Well, you know those fish that
nibble dead skin off your feet?
63
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,066
Yeah, the Hole's kind of
like that.
64
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,359
It eats fear.
65
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,820
You win. It wins.
Have fun, and enjoy the Ho-
66
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,781
Woman: Hey, Gaddafi,
cool your jets
67
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,282
with a taste of Mountain Dew!
68
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,242
This has been here
since VHS tapes
69
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,912
and there's only three photos?
70
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,163
Yeah, my tots are getting cold.
71
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,914
So you don't want to do it?
72
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,206
Do you?
I mean...
73
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,293
It says it takes away
your greatest fear.
74
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:13,961
My greatest fear, Morty,
is trusting a gross hole
75
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,131
to conquer my fear,
and I conquer that fear
76
00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:17,341
by walking away.
77
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,658
Okay, fine.
78
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,370
You little turd!
79
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,539
Oh, God!
80
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,564
Hold still while I stuff
you with maggots!
81
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,276
Rick!
82
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,593
Okay, the Hole thinks I'm scared
of not having a gun?
83
00:03:41,514 --> 00:03:43,598
Fear conquered!
84
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,578
Check out them gains!
Morty!
85
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:47,871
Where are you, Morty?
86
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,955
Let's go!
87
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,667
Oh, jeez!
Oh, God, oh, jeez!
88
00:03:51,691 --> 00:03:53,335
We both shit our pants!
What a fuckin' ride!
89
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:55,211
Christ, Rick!
My button. Maggots.
90
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,587
In my button!
91
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,838
Fuck yeah, on the wall,
motherfucker!
92
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,782
It's not worth it!
Not worth it!
93
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,222
Oh, my God, you both reek.
What is that?
94
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,764
Morty and I shit our pants.
95
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,308
You're looking at the two
newest members of the Hole Club.
96
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,478
Uh, okay, sluts.
97
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,270
What the hell?
98
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,149
Bomb almost killed her.
99
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:20,194
Take care of our wife.
100
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,406
Rick?
No! Oh, my God.
101
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,031
No. No!
102
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,951
Mom?
Where am I?
103
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,035
Who are you people?
104
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,202
You're my mom, but,
105
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,329
you're young?
106
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,038
Rick, what's happening?
107
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,624
W-Wait.
108
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,875
Rick?
109
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,918
What the fuck, Grandpa?
Say something!
110
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,545
Okay, we're clearly
still in the hole.
111
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,088
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
112
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,716
We never left the hole and...
113
00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,718
And part of the hole is thinking
you left the hole and then...
114
00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:44,218
And then it can
really dig into you.
115
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,762
Because you can't really be
scared of anything
116
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,805
if you know you're...
117
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,180
Together:
Still in the hole.
118
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,598
What the fuck are you
two talking about?
119
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,058
Why is dead Grandma alive
in our living room?
120
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,519
Rick, why are you old?
121
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,894
All great questions.
122
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,314
You guys get reacquainted
while we grab some equipment.
123
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,858
Wait, are we sure this isn't,
like, a double mislead?
124
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,360
A double mislead like we went
into a generic fear hole
125
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,529
and then coincidentally
came home to that?
126
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,490
That's...
That's my wife.
127
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,242
From the day I lost her.
128
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:10,370
Well, what's it got
to do with me?
129
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,579
Rick!
Right.
130
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:12,913
I think I figured it out, Morty.
131
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,832
Your greatest fear is me
getting Diane back
132
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,752
and being happy again.
What? Why?
133
00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:18,170
Because then I won't need you.
134
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,879
Look how scared you're getting
just talking about it.
135
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,589
I'm not scared, I'm insulted,
136
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,425
what kind of backhanded-ass
theory is that?
137
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,384
My greatest fear
is you hooking up?
138
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,471
You're right.
We can't know for sure
139
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,889
until I get more data.
140
00:05:28,913 --> 00:05:31,600
Alright, family, who wants
to catch up over ice cream?
141
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:34,226
I knew he was working
on teleportation.
142
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,064
But wouldn't this be
time travel?
143
00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:38,814
Oh, Dad never
touches time travel.
144
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,274
Ye calls it the Long...
145
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,151
The Long Island Iced Tea of
science fiction, yes,
146
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,903
but then what...
what is this?
147
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,613
Don't worry about it.
It's not real.
148
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,949
Okay. I figure it's better
to do this in front of you.
149
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,617
I didn't want to walk
in de-aged.
150
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,452
What do you think, D?
45? Younger?
151
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,079
I don't care about
your age, Rick.
152
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,081
I don't even want
to call you that.
153
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,334
That's my husband's name.
He just died.
154
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,711
I know. So, 27?
155
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,588
Dad!
You're traumatizing her.
156
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,798
What?
It's my face, too.
157
00:06:02,822 --> 00:06:04,298
And now Diane gets to understand
158
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,343
that I'm still sexy
and a genius.
159
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,968
What a kindness.
160
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,305
You were right, Rick.
I'm really terrified right now.
161
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,639
Terrified of what?
162
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,475
If you don't mind,
I'd like to get to know
163
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:16,894
the adult version of my...
Oh, my God.
164
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,521
Where's my real daughter?
165
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,855
Sweetie, it's all right.
166
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,358
This may as well be
our real daughter
167
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,151
because she's just
as real as you.
168
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,235
What?
Put it this way.
169
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,946
You're all basically NPCs.
170
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,154
Only Morty and I are real,
171
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,615
so your side quests
don't matter.
172
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,492
The main quest is us.
173
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:31,701
You're disgusting.
174
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,952
You're talking about
175
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,870
our baby girl like
she's theoretical?
176
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:35,913
Welcome to the family.
177
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,374
No, you don't get it, honey.
178
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,084
Even if this was real,
she'd be only a version
179
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:41,002
of your daughter who could also
be a clone of your daughter.
180
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,045
Stop wearing my husband's face!
181
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,130
You're nothing like him!
182
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,339
Because I lost you!
183
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:48,492
Maybe you didn't deserve me!
184
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,432
You want to hear a new theory?
185
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,935
Maybe your greatest fear
is getting a second chance
186
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,478
with her and blowing it.
187
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,230
You don't think that fear's
been pretty well faced?
188
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,108
Then you haven't conquered it.
189
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,317
Or accepted it.
Or something.
190
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,112
"Or something?"
I'm not a fearologist!
191
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,697
Morty, all rom-come have an arc.
192
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,656
Even "You've Got Mail"
begins with Tom Hanks
193
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,824
killing that cop.
Really?
194
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,160
I don't know.
I'm not going to
195
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:14,536
fucking watch
"You've Got Mail."
196
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,995
I'm doing this for you, Morty.
197
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,538
The sooner I get her back,
the sooner you can conquer
198
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,082
your fear of being
a useless, lonely turd.
199
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,151
You don't think
that's been faced?
200
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,800
♪ Hello, Diane, here's
the song I rehearsed ♪
201
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,553
♪ You had a bad day
and Rick made it worse ♪
202
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,889
♪ He felt bad,
so he created me ♪
203
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,726
♪ I deliver you
waffles and an apology ♪
204
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,060
Why do I have memories
of being a human child?
205
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,730
Why would I need...
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
206
00:07:41,754 --> 00:07:43,606
Goddamnit, there was
a whole second verse
207
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,524
about inviting you
to the zoo with the family.
208
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,069
I've seen that robot's arms.
209
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,113
Yeah, I used them
on a law enforcement drone
210
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,406
that the Feds had me build.
211
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:55,451
It's how we, uh...
How I met my wife.
212
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,661
The zoo sounds nice.
213
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,581
And this one time,
we raised a civilization
214
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:00,915
living on a zit on my face,
215
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,625
and Grandpa helped me
rule over it as queen.
216
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,170
It sounds like you guys
are a real family now.
217
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,379
I wish you could've
been part of it, Mom.
218
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,007
Oh.
219
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,425
Oh, honey.
220
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,593
Rick, is there a deadline
on this theory you're chasing?
221
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:16,264
Uh, yeah, sure.
Uh, that's a good idea, Morty.
222
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,557
Do that.
223
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,310
I always wished I knew
what they were saying.
224
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,519
Your Master's thesis.
225
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,646
Non-human Intelligence.
226
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,356
When did you read that?
227
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,649
After you were gone.
228
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,817
It helped me develop this.
229
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,446
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Greg!
230
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,072
Fuck you, Lisa!
Yum, bread.
231
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,533
- No, fuck you!
- Fuck you! There's bread.
232
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:35,783
I guess that's what I expected?
233
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:36,784
Anticlimactic, isn't it?
234
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,269
Yep, they kind of suck.
235
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,543
Hey, want to grab a drink?
236
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:47,485
Whoo!
Alright, yeah!
237
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,517
Oh, when did you stop
being a lightweight?
238
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,269
Kept looking for my wife
at the bottom of a bottle.
239
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,645
You're pathetic.
240
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,673
Hey.
To being pathetic.
241
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,094
Clear!
242
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,315
My turn, my turn.
243
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,379
I'll tell you what, old man.
244
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:34,049
Seems like losing me made you
cooler.
245
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,700
I should die more often.
246
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,263
You did.
247
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:41,015
You died everywhere forever.
248
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,891
You're the only thing
I can't replace.
249
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,019
Okay, okay,
Mr. Weepy.
250
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,105
I'm not even real, remember?
251
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,691
Nothing's real.
That's your jam, right?
252
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:53,193
My grandson, our grandson,
thinks this is happening
253
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,487
because my greatest fear
is letting you go.
254
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,572
Then don't.
255
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,865
I don't want to.
Then kiss me.
256
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,868
I'm old, and we have puke mouth.
257
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:02,977
Well, I'm not here,
and it's not real puke.
258
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,254
Okay, Rick... whoa!
Dude!
259
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,715
Fuck you, Morty.
It's a blazer.
260
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,716
That's not what I meant.
You look sick.
261
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,009
The hole is feeding on you.
262
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,720
I thought it's supposed
to eat my fear.
263
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,263
Can we get some fucking
rules up in this hole?
264
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,139
I don't know the rules!
Maybe you're just dying
265
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,807
because you've been
in here too long!
266
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,059
Interesting theory.
267
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,811
I wonder why you're
so rosy-cheeked.
268
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,270
What are you saying?
269
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,064
Maybe the real you is off
somewhere running from spiders.
270
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,482
Oh, so now I'm not real?
271
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,400
Yeah, maybe my greatest fear
is having to tell you to
272
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,735
fuck the fuck off.
273
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,071
Go ahead and face it!
Fuck the fuck off!
274
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,864
Hey.
Ready to Showbiz Pizza?
275
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,908
Let me see that bear play banjo!
276
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:40,950
Here's one for ya.
277
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,744
I'm afraid of watching you die.
278
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:46,312
I like that theory, Morty.
So stop watching.
279
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,378
Okay, this is it.
You nailed it.
280
00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:55,215
My worst nightmare.
I'd like to leave The Hole now.
281
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,926
Hey. Hey, Hole,
I'm talking to you.
282
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,951
Are you listening?
283
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,397
So, what are you,
like, the Hole?
284
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:11,773
The Hole's promoter?
285
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,441
The Hole's intern?
Is there a hole here?
286
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,110
Right, I'm supposed to go
in there and be shocked
287
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,779
that there's no hole,
or that there is a hole?
288
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:19,947
What difference would it make?
289
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,158
Hm, you are hard to scare.
290
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,493
And Rick isn't, right?
291
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,452
The Hole's gonna, like,
suck on him forever
292
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,498
because his big secret
is that he's got the most fear?
293
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,332
Well, we can certainly say
you're not afraid
294
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,500
to be reductive.
295
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,293
I doubt your grandpa
has "more" fear
296
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,046
than the average asshole
in a Denny's.
297
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,255
Man: Hey!
Sorry.
298
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,756
If anything,
he seems pretty brave.
299
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,466
He's certainly not
afraid to die.
300
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,995
Maybe that makes his
fear extra delicious.
301
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,307
So, what, he's scared of love?
302
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,185
Everyone's scared of
love, dipshit.
303
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,394
You'll learn that in your '20s.
304
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,563
It takes a very rare,
very powerful
305
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,191
being to be terrified
of happiness.
306
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,900
Dumb.
You're dumb.
307
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,278
That's why you're not scared
to be happy.
308
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,653
The smarter you are,
the more you know.
309
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,365
Happiness is a trap.
It can't last forever.
310
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,991
Let's say you meet the love
of your life,
311
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,534
well, it's still gonna end.
312
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,705
It's inevitable, whether
by the slow pull of a disease,
313
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,914
or the shock of loose footing
on a hiking trail,
314
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:13,168
whether it be the corrosion
of two personalities
315
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:15,628
that reshape each other
until they're incompatible,
316
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,004
or maybe the old
stranger in a bar
317
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,840
who says the things
that need to be said,
318
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,216
to that person, that night.
319
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,678
The point is,
happiness always ends.
320
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,514
Best case scenario,
think about this.
321
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:30,809
Best case is that you die
at the same time.
322
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,977
Yikes.
323
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,354
Can't the Hole just
let me go then?
324
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,023
Sounds like I don't matter.
You don't.
325
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,774
But if you go,
you'll take him away.
326
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:37,984
Don't worry.
327
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,443
Rick will die before
accepting happiness.
328
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,821
After that, we'll chase you
with some clowns
329
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,405
or some dumb shit like that.
330
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,865
But Grandpa...
331
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,619
Yummy, yummy.
Grandpa's gonna die.
332
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,894
Just like Diane.
333
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,047
Sir, you've been in this booth
for a really long time.
334
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:00,548
One coffee isn't gonna cut it.
335
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,716
That's fair. Want to split
some pancake puppies?
336
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:03,967
No!
337
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:07,679
Beth!
Summer? Anyone!
338
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,057
Dad, it's not real.
Neither are you.
339
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,726
If that's true,
then you deal with it!
340
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,187
You know what?
You're right.
341
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:17,481
How about this?
342
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:18,899
Morty!
What are you doing?
343
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,883
Being scared!
344
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,323
How is that not enough fear?
345
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,243
You're the one
scaring me, Morty!
346
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,619
No, no, Dad, it's okay.
347
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,269
It's not okay!
That wasn't normal!
348
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:37,418
My greatest fear
is not being accepted.
349
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,794
It should be!
350
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,070
And you need to fear it
a hell of a lot more!
351
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,883
I can do that.
352
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,884
You like that?
Do you want to die?
353
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:50,264
I have enough unaddressed trauma
to flood this hallway.
354
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,225
You fuckin' idiot,
this list says
355
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,000
"Top Five Things", and you
only wrote down four.
356
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,277
Trust fall!
357
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,884
None of us touch or speak
to this kid ever.
358
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,700
Morty: Maybe take a picture,
send it to your friends?
359
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,451
Huh. Not a bad idea.
360
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,328
How can we do the school play
if Johnny has laryngitis?
361
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,706
There's no understudy!
362
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,292
Put me in the play.
You don't know the lines.
363
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:19,836
Yes, I do.
"Three Days of Rain."
364
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,211
I have it memorized.
365
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,964
And I refuse to prove that
until you cast me.
366
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:25,466
Have it your way, but
The New York Times is coming,
367
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,719
and they're doing a feature
on the current state
368
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,284
of young American theater.
369
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,807
Perfect.
370
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,641
It ended in a church?
What?
371
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:38,145
Yeah, they'd already died.
It was purgatory or something.
372
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,897
How did your universe's
version end?
373
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,191
Mm, Jack, Locke, and Sawyer
teamed up to kill a fog monster
374
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,817
and everyone got rescued.
375
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,028
It was one season long,
and it was perfect television.
376
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,655
You can be great or you can be
around forever, right?
377
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:52,368
True. True.
378
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,202
Where's this going?
379
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,854
We doing robot role play?
I've got oil at home.
380
00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,333
What was that?
True. True. True. True.
381
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,668
Diane.
Diane? Diane?
382
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,336
Hey. Stay with me.
Diane. Diane.
383
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,629
Diane?
Rick?
384
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,839
What's happening?
385
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,758
Fuckin' Morty!
He's trying to hog the hole.
386
00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,575
Come on!
387
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:18,727
Alas, our father is dead.
388
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,836
Walker, are you here?
389
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:26,527
Uh, hi.
I'm Walker. Uh...
390
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,612
Sure has been raining
391
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,763
a lot of days.
392
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,868
What the fuck is he doing?
393
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,535
What's wrong with him?
394
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,703
He's naked.
395
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,874
And why does he look sick?
396
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,793
Because he's dying.
397
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,836
Fuck.
398
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,922
I got to get him out of here.
399
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,715
But if I do, I might
have to go with him.
400
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,301
I don't want to.
I don't want to, Diane,
401
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,052
I think my greatest fear
is letting you go.
402
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:55,056
That's a good fear, Rick.
Keep that fear.
403
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,015
If you don't, you'll kill me.
404
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,518
Again.
405
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,727
I know. But I don't have
to kill Morty, too.
406
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,562
How do you know he's even real?
407
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:05,817
Look at his weird little balls.
408
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,633
Goodbye, Diane.
409
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,240
Rick!
Shut up Morty.
410
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:15,182
DJ, drop that beat.
We got to conquer a fear!
411
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,078
♪ This is my grandson ♪
412
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,371
♪ Don't look at his pee-pee ♪
413
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,748
♪ Instead of staring at Morty ♪
414
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,125
♪ Put your eyes on me-me ♪
415
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,418
♪ I'm a roped-out freak ♪
416
00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:24,793
♪ Loose dog in my ass ♪
417
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,003
♪ Macaroni in my pocket ♪
418
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,587
♪ Rickity masterclass ♪
419
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:28,880
♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
420
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,258
♪ I don't know how to rhyme ♪
421
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,092
♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
422
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,553
♪ Now eat my shit! ♪
423
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,846
Incredible.
424
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,097
♪ Now throw your hands up! ♪
425
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,390
♪ And put your hands down ♪
426
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,891
♪ Throw your hands up ♪
427
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,310
♪ Now put them back down ♪
428
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,253
♪ Three days of rain ♪
429
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:48,942
That was an astounding feat
of personal bravery.
430
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,321
Nudity always makes theater
serious and good.
431
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,614
How do you feel?
432
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,365
Accepted. You?
433
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,618
Pathetic. But...
434
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,893
happy?
435
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,593
We did it!
We conquered our fears.
436
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:15,951
Right?
437
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,183
Uh, hey, Rick.
438
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,226
You just looked real sad,
which I'm afraid of.
439
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,188
You know, of being responsible
for your sadness.
440
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,484
Which means, I think
we might still be in The Hole.
441
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:31,444
Huh. Well,
I am definitely afraid
442
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,361
of you ever knowing
anything before me.
443
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:37,824
So, yeah, I'd say there's a 100%
chance that we're still...
444
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,453
God damn it. Is this
going to be a whole thing?
445
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,245
No word play, Morty.
We have to figure out
446
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,997
our actual fears if we're ever
going to get out of here.
447
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,457
Actual fears?
Yeah.
448
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,209
Tell me your fuckin' fear
so we can conquer it.
449
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,585
I just had to crucify myself
450
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,504
in order to save you
from your Hole wife,
451
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,216
and you think I'm the one
with unresolved fears?
452
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,176
I ought to be afraid that
we'll never get out,
453
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,743
because you'll never admit
that you're afraid!
454
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,809
Okay. Good job.
You conquered it, right?
455
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:05,186
I think so.
How are we supposed to know?
456
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,687
No, no, this is real.
I can tell.
457
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,523
You're not afraid that you
could be certain
458
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:12,526
about something
and still turn out to be wrong?
459
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,027
You cowardly asshole!
460
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,846
How was I supposed to know?!
461
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,742
$8 for a side of bacon!
462
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,828
Are you fucking kidding me?!
463
00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:23,704
It's a symptom of
a larger concern, Morty.
464
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,039
If capitalism collapses...
465
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,666
Are we done here?
I don't know.
466
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,208
Aren't you a little
afraid at this point
467
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,210
of The Hole itself?
What?
468
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,213
I swear to God, if we're
still climbing out of this
469
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,048
fucking Hole
two seasons from now.
470
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,466
Maybe that was it.
What?
471
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:38,343
Maybe we needed to let go of
our fear of uncertainty.
472
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,970
You know?
Right.
473
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,348
I'd say we're pretty native
to that at this point.
474
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,266
Okay, thank you, Hole!
Thank you, Hole!
475
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,601
We no longer need to know
if we're in you.
476
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,421
So, bye.
477
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,237
Are you afraid
we're still in it?
478
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,738
I mean, I hope we're not,
479
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,949
but if we are...
We'll find out eventually.
480
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,284
Which no longer scares me.
481
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,519
Same. Okay.
I'm gonna go get drunk.
482
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:13,254
♪ Move on they say, you'll
feel better with time ♪
483
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:18,240
♪ But time alone can't heal
this heart of mine ♪
484
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:25,891
♪ You can't go back,
that's the only rule ♪
485
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:31,606
♪ But rules were meant to break
when it comes to you ♪
486
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:38,195
♪ I saw time and time
slip by when I withdrew ♪
487
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:44,183
♪ I wandered far and wide
without you ♪
488
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,977
♪ Without you ♪
489
00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:04,138
♪ So I bury my dead,
and I try to start again ♪
490
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:10,311
♪ But it will never be the same
as it was back then ♪
491
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:16,484
♪ I've seen time and time
slip by, but I'll make do ♪
492
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,360
♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪
493
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,346
Oh, my God!
I've turned into my dad!
494
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:23,949
Oh, maybe there's no way out.
495
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,618
Maybe we were born here.
496
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,745
Come on.
We're gonna get through this.
497
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,287
I'm staying here.
498
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:32,207
No. We're Rick and Morty.
I'm not leaving without you.
499
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,376
What did you say?
500
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,834
I said I'm not leaving you
in here.
501
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,544
Come on.
You're irreplaceable...
502
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,048
irreplaceable...
irreplaceable...
503
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,800
What?
Oh, my God!
504
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,342
I know what I'm afraid of.
505
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,552
I'm afraid you'd never say
that in real life.
506
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,514
I'm afraid that if
I jumped into a hole,
507
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,683
you wouldn't even bother
jumping in after me.
508
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,517
You'd just stand there
and watch.
509
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,852
This entire thing
has been about me.
510
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:57,190
You're not even in the Hole,
are you?
511
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,235
Thank you for visiting
the Fear Hole, Morty.
512
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,988
Your fear of relying on Rick
has been delicious.
513
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,682
Dear God!
514
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,869
Rick: Morty!
How was it?
515
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,161
Was it spiders?
516
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,456
Oh. Oh, jeez.
Oh, my God, no.
517
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,543
You... You didn't
go in at all?
518
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:16,960
No, it's a one-person ride.
519
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,838
You can't face two fears
at the same time.
520
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,297
If my fear was fire
and yours was water...
521
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,741
I get it.
It's fine.
522
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,720
It really is fine. Huh.
523
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:29,098
You do seem a little
less burdened.
524
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,766
Rick, am I irreplaceable?
525
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,395
I mean, define irreplaceable.
526
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:37,231
That's good. Good.
527
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:38,858
I'm back.
528
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:41,068
Don't! Or I won't know
if I'm out!
529
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:42,235
Is it that good?
530
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,486
Should I go in?
No!
531
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,156
You holdin' out on me?
532
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,866
You don't want to deal
with it, Rick.
533
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,159
There was messed-up
mental shit in there.
534
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:50,410
Like, Diane was in there.
535
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,162
What?
Not in a good way.
536
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,621
Just trust me.
537
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,900
Okay, buddy.
Let's go slam some pancakes.
538
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,383
Ooh-whee.
How bout that?
539
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:48,927
Season 7!
540
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,554
It was touch and go there
for a second.
541
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,974
Remember when I stole my kid?
542
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,210
I stole one of these, too!
543
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,857
It's all about having a goal
544
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,651
and stopping at nothing
to achieve it!
545
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:07,511
Then you'll be fulfilled!
546
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,769
Did you get any of that?39728
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