All language subtitles for Nurse.Jackie.S03E08.eng

Previously on Nurse Jackie...

There are more than 10,000 saints.

What if I choose
the wrong one for the pageant?

How much you got?

Two hundred bucks.

I would love to hear your thoughts

about how All Saints
can better service the community,

especially in relation
to childhood obesity issues.

Chung was a killer
when it came to kids' health.

Yes, Lily is a killer.

All right, you're having a hard day.
I can tell.

Kevin, can I... Let me explain.

Are you fucking out of your mind?

This is old. This is not from now.

This is from a long time ago.

Okay? Thirty days clean.

We are okay, Kevin. It is okay.

It is okay. We're okay.

I am Christina the Astonishing.

I am from Belgium.

I am remembered for my faith
and my violent fits of ecstasy.

Grace, honey, please stay still.

You are gonna look great
for this pageant thing tonight.

Mom, I'm trying to practice my speech.

- Sorry.
- And it's not a pageant. It's a litany.

Well, whatever it is, you're going to be
the prettiest saint on the stage.

The storm kept me up
and now I can't remember my lines.

I was born a peasant...

I was born a peasant,

and when I was 21 years old,

I had epilepsy and died.

What's epilepsy?

It's a neurological disorder
in which you have seizures.

Honey, yes, that's absolutely right,
but if you don't stay still,

I'm going to poke you with this thing.

What are seizures?

I have to practice, with gestures.

Wow, Gracie, you look astonishing.

Dad.

When they had my funeral...

When they had my funeral,
I came back to life

in my coffin and I
floated up to the rafters

and told everybody in the church

that I saw heaven and hell and purgatory
while I was dead.

Kev, can you pass me those wings?

She didn't have wings.

It says she floats up to the rafters
of the church. I made them last night.

If she had wings, it wouldn't be a miracle.

All right.
You yell at the nuns with that mouth?

Saints, not angels, babe.

I'm never gonna remember my lines.

You're gonna do great.
You're gonna knock it out of the park.

You're gonna dominate. You're gonna
crack them and rack them and stack them.

- Dad.
- And we're gonna be there,

snapping pictures.

You'll be fine, sweetie pie.

Just try to relax, keep
your shoulders back,

your eyes straight ahead, keep breathing.

What is the worst that could happen?

Greg, how about you just do your job?

And your job is to remove
the naked Grecian dude

from my living room.

Yeah, or I take my business elsewhere.

Thank you.

Interior decorator
wants to go all Greco-Roman.

That's fascinating. Can I get a hug?

Moving into a condo.

Hey, how about that storm last night?

What? No small talk, just a hug?

Just a hug.

Sorry, fresh out.

Flying to Miami tonight to re-up.

Painkiller capital of the world.

Old people, gotta love 'em.

You're going out of town?
You've gotta have something.

Okay, look,

after work, come by my place,

I'll see if I can't scrounge
something up for you, okay?

Your place, like your home?

Relax.

Right up the block.

It's the deco joint with
the gargoyles on top.

Go figure.

There's a doorman. I'll see you later.

Twenty-five-year-old male,
went nuts on the High Line.

Threatened to jump,
clawed a chunk of skin out of his own neck.

- Sherm or dust?
- We're thinking dust.

- He bent the gurney with his bare hands.
- I need a tox screen and Thor.

Bring me my giant!

It's dust for sure. It's totally PCP.

Either way, keep him in restraints.
Personally, I think he's a glue-sniffer.

It looks more like a sherm stick, a cigarette
dipped in formaldehyde. Totally cuckoo.

Everyone has opinions.
No one has information.

- Goodbye.
- Overdose?

Wow.

It's so hard to know
what's going on inside someone.

Yes, indeed, it is.

Yes, well, you two can stand here
and mull over his right to privacy

while Thor draws blood for a tox screen.
Thor?

On it.

I have a gift certificate to Utsav.
Indian. $50.

- Wanna have lunch?
- You and I?

Jackie, too. It's $50.

Jacks, Zoey's invited us to lunch.

Today? Let me think about it.

Come on. It's one lunch.

Really?

'Cause if either of you
ever asked me to lunch...

- I've invited you to lunch.
- I know, and I jumped at the chance.

Come on, I do everything for you guys.
I sing your praises on high.

And now I want to buy you lunch

and you're looking at each other
like, "I'll go if you go."

Fine, I'll say it out loud.
Jackie, I'll go if you go.

Yeah, no, it's fine with me.
Lunch is lunch.

What?

No one sounds excited.

In with the new, out with the old.
New phone.

She sounds excited.

Come in.

I wanted to give you a heads up.

My phone's gonna be down for a little bit.

I made this in the fifth grade.

Very nice.

It's a diorama
of a 19th century dentist's office.

The three of us made it together
for social studies.

We were up all night.

I'm gonna have this conversation
with you once and only once.

Your mothers called me, both of them.

They told me about the divorce
and that they're worried about you.

This is not my job!

You have two mothers.
You don't need a third.

Get your act together
and clean your office.

This is a health hazard.

What would you do if you were me?

I'd purge.

Back from the lab.
Spazzed-out guy in 3? PCP.

He's due for Ativan. Do you mind?

Drug cases are kind of weird for me.

You know,
I'm just trying to negotiate everything.

The drug cases? Really?

Sam, you're a nurse.
You don't get to choose who you treat.

No, I know. I'm just saying if...

Okay, what would your sponsor
or whatever tell you?

He'd tell me to be of service.

Okay, be of service,
be a productive member of this staff.

Assist Dr. O'Hara
in treating this afflicted man.

Yeah. Yeah, you're...

I'm sorry, Jackie. You're right.

You would so kick ass in AA.

What? She would.

You're on your own.

Sore topic.

Not for me.

This is Dr. Cooper.
He's gonna be taking care of you.

These ladies skipped school,
hit the bottle, then hit the sidewalk.

I fell.

She was like, bop!

He's totally the guy from the bus stop.

- The "looks can cure" guy?
- Oh, my God, you're so hot.

Hot stop.

My God, you're totally, like,
sexy doctor man.

Stitches, and let's get an x-ray.

- We both wanna marry doctors.
- Or even a nurse.

I'd get with a nurse,
cause they're healers.

- Do you know it.
- Doctors make some money.

Girls, I'm gonna drop some wisdom on you.

You don't have to do that, Dr. Cooper.

So many things that we love are illusions.

Look at these shoes. These shoes are $600.

Illusions.

Look at this phone. Awesome phone.

Illusion.

But this guy, this guy is real.

Are you really real?

100%.

Shit. That tree took out a power line.

I had no electricity for six hours.
Beer's gonna be warm.

You're up and running now.

Hey, good to know people in high places.

I appreciate you coming out.

City Hall is going nuts, I bet.

Yeah, a terrible storm,
trees down everywhere.

I heard about this one on a dispatch
and I thought I'd swing by.

What's it been, eight years?

- Fi's baptism.
- Eight years.

Look, Kev,

I ran a check

just to make sure you still owned
the place before I trekked out here,

noticed you had an outstanding ticket
a few months back.

Yeah, I got pulled over.

Seventy-five in a 30, two kids in the car?

I was in a rush.

Pay the ticket, Kev, you're overdue.
They will nail you.

I'm working on it.

- You want a warm beer?
- I'd love one.

India.

This is nice.

Yes, it is.
Zoey, you're right, this is a nice gesture.

So, Dr. O'Hara, how would you
characterize your friendship with Jackie?

Excuse me?

Zoey, tell me this is
not for that blog thing.

My next entry is titled:

"Doctors and Nurses:
No longer cats and dogs."

- No, it isn't.
- Zoey, you do realize

if you mention either of us online,

we will cut you into little pieces
and feed you to snakes.

Your names are changed.

Lady Penelope

and Taffy.

You named me Taffy?

It's just that I look at the two of you
and I see something,

you know, rare and amazing.

I think people could learn.

My fondness for nurses
does not extend beyond Jackie.

And you, of course.

Of course.

What about Kelly? Everybody loves Kelly.

The ladies love Kelly.

Yeah, well, we are not ladies.

Way to go, Taffy.

Wait, so you guys don't like Kelly.

No, Zoey, we did not say that.

Kinda you did.

Just in case you were tempted to stab her.

I did that already. I punched in star.
Oh, for God's sakes.

Do you know how to work this phone?
I am so backed up.

These things are supposed
to help us do our jobs. Piece of junk.

I want to demonstrate something to you.

Purging.

So what do you want, a cookie?

I need a hug.

- No.
- Come on, Gloria. Just a hug.

Don't call me that. And no. I need Thor.

Tell him to get in here.

You know,
there are lots of people that would hug me.

Then find them and hug them.

She fucking drove off with my kids.

I'm standing there in
the middle of nowhere,

had to call a buddy to pick me up
on his motorcycle.

Look, you married a piece of work. Jackie?

Jackie'd chew off her own paw
before she gave an inch.

I've never been so angry at her
in my entire life.

Next day, she goes off to work.

I pack suitcases for the girls,
I put them in the car and I take off.

You left her?

I was in a state.

I didn't realize how fast I was going
until I saw the flashing lights.

And then what?

I got pulled over and went home.
It was just...

Rage.

What are you, a battered wife?
Taking the kids and leaving?

Fuck off, Carl.

I was out of my head.

I'd been happily married for 15 years
and suddenly, I've got an exit plan.

And rage.

I've got a lot of rage.

You ever consider
stepping out of your marriage?

Not permanently, just a little something...

No.

Well, speaking only for myself,
there were a couple of times...

Yeah, I get it, but that's you.

You were a big deal, Kev.
You had your pick.

Don't ever forget that.

And I picked Jackie.

Loud and clear.

Whose bag is in the middle of the floor?

- That's our bag!
- All right.

- You can't take that beer...
- That's our beer. Private...

Pipe down!

- Hey, Slater.
- Yeah?

What are you doing?

I'm following up with the concussion.

Check on the PCP in 3. Now.

Yes, ma'am.

The line's crimped.

You might want to keep him restrained.
That dog bites.

He's knocked out.

Yeah, well, PCP.

All right.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You've got remote access
to all phone services through VPN,

unified messaging,
rich-media conferencing,

this thing could probably make waffles.

How do I make a telephone call?

Well, here we go. Up and running.

- Lily Chung calling.
- Don't answer it.

- I want to show you how it works.
- Thor, listen to me.

Last night,
after one too many vodka gimlets,

I called Lily Chung
twice, maybe three times,

and left a series of
increasingly embarrassing voice mails.

Drunk dialing, know it well.

You're afraid of this woman? You?

She makes me feel unaccomplished.

She's my Voldemort.

May I?

Gloria Akalitus's office.

I see. I'm sorry, she's not
in the office right now.

Maybe I can reach her. Hey, Megan,

see if you can reach Ms. Akalitus
at Mayor Bloomberg's office.

They're having their Tuesday lunch.
Thanks, hon.

Hello, Ms. Chung?

Of course, you can try her tomorrow.
I'll let her know you called.

Bye.

Holler at your boy.

Come on. He gets a hug?

That looks like it hurts.

I'm fine.

That's gonna bruise.

You're gonna wanna get in front of that,
get something from Eddie.

I'm fine.

Even if it's just for your nerves.
You look pale. You should take something.

I'm fine.

Last call.

This place really does need a bar.

Hey, I heard.

- You okay?
- Don't know.

Well, what are we talking about?

Benzo for nerves? Percocet for pain?

Maybe something in between?

Fuck it all. I'll live with it.

Wow. People still do that?

It's scary shit, huh?

Yeah.

It's all right.

What an asshole.

Sorry.

- Hello?
- Mom?

Gracie, what's wrong?

I borrowed Alison's phone.

I'm in the bathroom.
I'm not supposed to be on the phone.

- What's the matter, honey?
- Nothing.

I just wanted to tell you

that I liked the wings you made for me.

The wings?

You were being nice.

I was mean.

I didn't mean to be mean.

It's just that she wasn't an angel.

She was a saint.

Gracie.

I have to go. I don't want to get caught.

Okay, honey.

Honey?

Bye-bye.

No, thanks. I dined with the girls.

That reminds me.

A little heads up
from someone who's been here awhile.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance
of getting along with Jackie.

Well, I think we get along great.

Why? Did she say something?

- Because if she doesn't like me...
- No, no one said anything.

I tried to be gossipy and it's totally
backfiring. Abort. Abort. Abort.

Slater, you wanna try taking it easy
around the jailbait?

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- The hell you don't.

I'm not gonna engage in this.

I'm not jailbait.

I wasn't talking about you.

- I used to be jailbait.
- Shut up.

My bait used to be very jail.

- Are you kidding me right now?
- What are they, like, 16?

Seriously, lady, back the fuck off.

You think I'm stupid?

If you're gonna accuse me,
do it through proper channels.

But remember, you're the one
in the men's room right now.

If you're gonna come after me,
I'm coming after you.

- I know what I saw.
- You're fucking high!

As you were.

Hey.

How's O'Hara?

She says she's fine.

- You okay?
- Me?

Yeah, fine.

Is she taking anything for it?

She says she doesn't want any.

God. I think she's in more pain
than she lets on.

That PCP guy was a disaster.

I threw my back out trying to restrain him.

Well, back again, huh?

Try Pilates or something?

You know what, Eddie?

Fuck you.

So, just to be clear,
are we throwing these out or...

No. What?

No. We're just...

We're just keeping them in here.

Okay.

I like the dollhouse.

It's not a dollhouse.

But you could use it as one, though,

if you had dolls and they needed a house.

It still wouldn't be a dollhouse.

What is it, anyway?

It's a replica of a 19th century
dentist office made to scale.

I even made the dentist
and the little man in the chair.

When I was little, everything had
to be perfect or I'd freak out.

Look at that poor guy.

Looks like it hurts.

He's having his impacted molar extracted
without anesthesia,

so yeah, it hurts.

It does.

Have a good night, sir.

I am Christina the Astonishing.

I am from Belgium.

I am remembered for my faith

and my violent fits of ecstasy.

I am the patron saint of insanity
and lunatics.

I died but came back to life.

Psalm 102 is attributed to me.

It is the prayer of the afflicted.

"For my days vanish like smoke.

"I am like an owl in the desert

"among the ruins.

"I have mingled my drink with weeping.

"And my days are like a shadow.

"Pray for me."