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(INAUDIBLE)
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(INAUDIBLE)
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I come tonight to warn
you that you will be
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visited by three spirits.
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00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,041
What?
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00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,365
Was that the chance and hope
that you mentioned, Jacob?
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JACOB: It was.
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And you have yet the chance
and hope of escaping my fate.
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00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,722
A chance and hope
of my procuring, Ebenezer.
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EBENEZER: Thank you, Jacob.
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JACOB: Expect the first
when the bell tolls 1:00.
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MAX: Shut up, Beth!
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00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,965
TOM: I don't care who
started it, Max.
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00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,407
MAX: Ben Kuklinski started it
and everybody knows it.
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00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,845
You even have
the whole thing on video.
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00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,081
And you're gonna
write an apology
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00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,481
to the rest of your class
for ruining the recital.
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00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,561
What were you thinking, Max?
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00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,244
That kid was twice your size.
20
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,051
Yeah, but Ben Kuklinski
is always ragging on Christmas.
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00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,207
He even told the first graders
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00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,930
that Santa was just
a cheap marketing ploy
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00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,240
invented to sell Pepsi.
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00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,970
Coke.
You know what I mean.
25
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,610
But not why you care.
26
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,091
Well, someone's got to.
27
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,164
Here, let me see.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
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00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,083
Eh, it's not so bad.
Just keep icing it.
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00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,686
And was dropkicking
him into the manger
30
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,603
really the best way
to handle this?
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00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,126
Okay, that was not my fault.
I was under the influence.
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00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,127
All I had to eat was Christmas
fudge and candy canes.
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00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,646
SARAH: Well, I hate
to sound harsh,
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00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,529
but every kid has to
learn the truth someday.
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00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,404
Oh, I know. I just...
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00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,406
I didn't want it ruined.
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00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,929
For the little kids.
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00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,441
But is this
a war on Christmas,
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00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,090
a war on
over-political correctness...
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00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,207
Looks great, Mom.
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00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,520
...or a bunch of people who are
just way too easily offended?
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00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,721
(SPEAKS GERMAN)
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00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,847
Don't work too hard,
though. Sarah bought
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00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,882
- a bunch of cookies at the store.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
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00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,644
It's Roger.
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00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,370
Thought you said you weren't
working over Christmas?
47
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,891
I said no traveling
over Christmas.
48
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,928
I still have to
take a few calls.
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00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,365
Hey, Roger, what's up?
50
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,283
Wait, guys, aren't we still gonna
watch Charlie Brown
51
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,402
and wrap Christmas
presents like always?
52
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,847
You know what? After what you pulled,
you can do that alone.
53
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,968
And quick. Your cousins get
here any minute.
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00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,246
Yeah, Roger.
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00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,368
It's a Christmas
cluster-eff over here.
56
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,283
Beth, help me hang this.
57
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,647
(SIGHS)
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00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,007
Wait, Mom, aren't we gonna
watch Charlie Brown?
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00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,601
(SIGHS)
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00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,488
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
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00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,321
I started,
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00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,051
but I don't know what
to ask for this year.
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00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,727
- SARAH: Because they are family, Beth.
- (HAMMER THUMPING)
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00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,165
And it's only for a few days.
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00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,880
BETH: Well, I'm not sharing my
room with girls who pee standing up.
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00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,082
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
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00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,002
BETH: Last year I found
shit in my bed, Mom.
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00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,241
(SIGHS)
Human shit.
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00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,129
For the last time,
that was their dog!
70
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,202
"They're why some people shouldn't
be allowed to breed!"
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00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,601
Your words,
Mom, not mine!
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00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,648
I never said that!
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00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,760
(SIGHS) I said maybe they
should have to take a test
74
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:02,881
before they're
allowed to breed.
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00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,167
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
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00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,761
(SIGHS)
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00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,321
Thanks, Omi.
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00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,084
Omi?
Hmm?
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00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,242
Do you still
really believe in Santa?
80
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,322
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
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00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,728
What do you mean?
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00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,842
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
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00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,201
BETH: Yeah.
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00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,402
My cousins are crawling out of
the shallow end of the gene pool,
85
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,522
so everyone's
a little on edge.
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00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,250
DEREK: (ON LAPTOP)
Your mom popping Xanax again?
87
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,129
(CHUCKLES) Like candy.
88
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,205
Tonight we're making a Japanese snowflake
tree or some crap.
89
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,491
Takes a lot of work
to make our family
90
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,364
look more awesome than it
actually is, you know?
91
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,680
I like snowflakes,
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00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,161
but I like my plan a lot better.
93
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:46,361
(CHUCKLES) Very enticing,
but I think I'm stuck here.
94
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,521
Come on,
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00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,570
people have escaped from Alcatraz before,
and I'm only four blocks away.
96
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,722
(RUMBLING)
97
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,288
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- What? What's wrong?
98
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,444
(SIGHS) Everything.
99
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,162
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
100
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:04,721
(EXHALES)
101
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,368
Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
102
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:11,766
(DOOR BELL RINGING)
103
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,003
- HOWARD: Will you two knock it off?
- (DOOR BELL CONTINUES RINGING)
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00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,491
STEVIE: Howie, stop
ringing the doorbell!
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00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,125
- HOWARD: Well, carry something!
- STEVIE: Howie, cut it out!
106
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,929
- LINDA: Help me with the bags.
- STEVIE: Dad, you carry it.
107
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,766
It's Christmas. It's Christmas.
It's Christmas.
108
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,571
Merry Christmas!
109
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,688
Hey, sis. Merry Christmas.
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00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,001
Oh, gosh, I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
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00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,366
You have no idea.
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00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,805
Accidents all
over the freeways,
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00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,921
and nothing but crazy talk radio
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00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,161
for six hours.
Mmm. (CHUCKLES)
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00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,044
Hey. We brought you a little taste
of home, though, didn't we?
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00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,011
SARAH: Oh, wow.
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00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,451
Thank you. It looks...
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00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,601
Wow.
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00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,290
- You're welcome.
- HOWARD: Come on, Linda, move it, move it.
120
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,124
We don't have to keep
the traffic jam going now.
121
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,440
Howard, let me help you.
122
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,681
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
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00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:48,961
(GROANS)
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00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,406
- LINDA: It's all right, Tom.
- HOWARD: Thanks, Tommy.
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00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,481
TOM: Sorry about that.
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00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,324
What, you give the butler
the night off, did you?
127
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,680
LINDA: Tom,
don't worry about it.
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00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,728
HOWARD: Yeah,
we uh, brought Rosie.
129
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,165
You don't have a cat, do you?
130
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,771
It's fine.
It's fine, right?
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00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,887
It's fine.
132
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,644
Merry Christmas, girls.
Come on in.
133
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,604
Don't you look cute in
your matching jackets.
134
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:06,806
They're just a little cranky
135
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,609
because the
Steelers lost, so...
136
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,681
Uh, Jordan, Stevie,
137
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,040
why don't you
tell your Aunt Sarah
138
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,726
about your Presidential
Fitness Award, huh?
139
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,201
It's a good story.
140
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,846
Hey, Howie.
141
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,450
So, what did you ask
Santa for this year?
142
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,600
- LINDA: Really nice.
- SARAH: They did look pretty good.
143
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,244
LINDA: It looks bigger in here.
144
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,526
Toy car?
145
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,489
STEVIE: (WHISPERING)
Look what Max has got in his pocket.
146
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,050
A letter to Santa.
147
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,646
MAX: Video games?
148
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,841
Phone?
149
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,850
Dialysis?
150
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,527
- HOWARD: That long fucking drive.
- LINDA: Thank you, guys.
151
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,450
HOWARD: Where do you
want this stuff, Tom?
152
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,090
- Just anywhere?
- TOM: Yeah.
153
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,448
AUNT DOROTHY: Christ on a stick,
would it kill you to shovel your walk?
154
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,443
I could've broken
a hip out there.
155
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,409
Surprise!
156
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,891
Please don't be mad.
157
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,289
Oh, Aunt Dorothy,
it's so great to see you.
158
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,045
Yeah, well, your
sister's no Mother Teresa,
159
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,646
but at least she swings by
160
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,800
every once in a while to
make sure that I'm not dead.
161
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,530
So, where's the nog?
162
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,409
I need to get merry.
163
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,760
Uh, It's in the kitchen.
164
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,001
Help yourself.
165
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,162
LINDA: Oh, Tom, let me
take that. I'm sorry.
166
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,287
TOM: That's okay.
167
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,805
Lord Almighty.
168
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,360
Looks like Martha Stewart
threw up in here.
169
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,648
- We left the door open. Sorry about that.
- TOM: No. No, no, no.
170
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,882
LINDA: We're such a mess, honestly.
171
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,531
Six hours, I mean, come on.
Uh...
172
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,887
Sorry, wasn't there another...
173
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,521
Mmm?
174
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,366
Child?
175
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,250
Chrissy! Darn it!
176
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,920
Jordan, I told you
to bring her inside!
177
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,401
Not my kid.
178
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,527
Come on, girls.
179
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,806
Tommy, help me
get the baby
180
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,211
and the rest of the girl
crap out of the truck.
181
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,441
Do you mind?
Thank you.
182
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,601
All right.
183
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,001
Let's make
some memories, huh?
184
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,044
Thank you, honey.
Thank you. Oh, my goodness.
185
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,248
A holiday roast
is a surprise.
186
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,731
Hemorrhoids are a surprise.
187
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,565
She is a goddamn nightmare.
What were you thinking?
188
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,848
Come on, she's not that bad.
Oh.
189
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,081
She's not!
190
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,844
Besides, she
tricked me, okay?
191
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,490
I thought we were
just dropping off gifts,
192
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,160
and she came to the door
with a suitcase.
193
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,811
What was I supposed to do?
Tell her she has to spend Christmas by herself?
194
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,848
No, but at least you
could have warned me
195
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,571
when one of your mistakes
is gonna become my problem.
196
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,529
You think everything I do
is a mistake.
197
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,050
HOWARD: Sorry.
Look out. Look out.
198
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,321
Hey, honey.
Ooh. Oh.
199
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,004
I think this
warhead's armed.
200
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,849
Wow, you're so stinky.
(LAUGHS)
201
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,729
Okay, I'm gonna
go change her.
202
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,801
Let's go this way.
203
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,201
Just set that up wherever
you want, T. (SIGHS)
204
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,361
The whole truck
smells like shit.
205
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,405
So, what's for dinner?
206
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,201
(BURPS)
207
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,482
(HOWARD LAUGHING)
208
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,564
HOWARD: That's my boy!
209
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,971
That's my boy!
210
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,090
It sure is.
211
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,128
I'm getting Howie Junior
into game shape.
212
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,651
By the time he gets
to high school,
213
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,724
he's gonna be the biggest
lineman in the state.
214
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,283
Did you ever spend any time
on the field, Tommy?
215
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,647
No, actually,
I didn't have time in my younger years.
216
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,131
I was in training mostly.
217
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,800
HOWARD: What were you
training for? Uh...
218
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,884
Army? Marines?
219
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,726
It was the Eagle Scouts.
220
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,486
Eagle Scouts.
221
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,048
Now, Eagle Scouts, kids,
222
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,924
that's where you weave baskets
223
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,445
and help little old ladies
across the street. (LAUGHING)
224
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,244
Am I right?
No, no.
225
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,525
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no. It was actually
quite a bit of survival training.
226
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,481
So...
227
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,530
Well, the only survival training
I need is my ol' smoke pole,
228
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,769
and a big, fat
box of buckshot
229
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,569
that I keep out
in that truck.
230
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,531
A shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
231
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,282
Honey, we said no gun talk
at the dinner table.
232
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,244
This family needs
a little gun talk,
233
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,402
whether it's at the dinner table,
or anywhere else.
234
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,766
- Wow.
- HOWARD: You know what I'm saying?
235
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,000
SARAH: Looks like Chrissy's
really enjoying my gravlax.
236
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,725
(CHRISSY GIGGLING)
237
00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,841
LINDA: Careful, kids.
238
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,280
Remember that
your Aunt Sarah likes
239
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,526
everything to be
clean and perfect,
240
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,206
and that's why she makes so
much food that you can't pronounce.
241
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,644
Well, I just thought
you guys might like a break
242
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,609
from macaroni and cheese
with hot dogs.
243
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,761
Yeah, okay.
244
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,565
Well, you were wrong.
245
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,041
And who doesn't make
a ham at Christmas?
246
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,049
What are you now, a Jew?
247
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,043
Maybe it's time
for dessert, hmm?
248
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,365
It's delicious, honey.
249
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,680
It's a little dry.
250
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,728
Okay. Well, mine's delicious.
251
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,487
(SIGHS)
252
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,240
Well, I guess
I should've gotten your bird.
253
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,520
You can just say
something nice.
254
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,767
HOWARD: I'll say it
when she gets back, if dessert's good.
255
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,365
TOM: Well, if you could
just do me a favor.
256
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,284
- Tell him about Santa.
- Just say something nice about dessert.
257
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,283
Hey, Maxi-Pad.
258
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,004
Hear what happened to Santa?
259
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,600
(SIGHS) No, Stevie.
What happened to Santa?
260
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,290
Heard it on the news.
261
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,362
His sleigh crashed in the Rockies.
262
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,727
Shattered both his legs.
263
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,565
Frostbite took care of his pain,
but not his hunger.
264
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,242
So, to survive,
he had to slaughter and eat his reindeer.
265
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,211
Including Rudolph.
266
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,285
"Ate" tiny reindeer.
Get it? (CHUCKLES)
267
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,330
Knock it off!
268
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,004
Don't start anything.
269
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,565
Hey, guys, take it easy.
270
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,367
HOWARD: They're
just playing, Tommy.
271
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,645
Macaroni and cheese
and hot dogs.
272
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,848
Oh, Jesus.
273
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,766
So, what kind of godforsaken
concoction are you whipping up now?
274
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,447
You know how this fancy
food clogs my pipes.
275
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,886
Well, how about we
go to your trailer
276
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,291
for Christmas
next year, hmm?
277
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,242
And after you've spent weeks
decorating and cooking and cleaning,
278
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,084
I might just waddle in and start
bitching and moaning
279
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,800
about everything
you've worked so hard on.
280
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,166
Oh, Sarah, you know...
281
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,964
No, Aunt Dorothy, please.
282
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,451
For your sake,
283
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,564
just stay the hell
out of my kitchen.
284
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,881
You know, reindeer
are actually
285
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,889
a sustainable
food source
286
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,970
in the Northern Territories
and Alaska. Canada.
287
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,690
TOM: This time of year
288
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,846
we refer to reindeer as a transportation
system for Santa Claus.
289
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,930
We know you still believe
in the big, fat creeper.
290
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,004
I don't know what
you're talking about.
291
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,926
You sure about that?
292
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,125
Max, stop.
293
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,411
"Dear Santa,
294
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,687
"I know I haven't been great this year,
and I'm sorry for that,
295
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,489
"but I was really
hoping you could help out
296
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,688
"me and my family
this Christmas.
297
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,171
"We need you."
298
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,605
Oh, Maxi-Pad,
that's so sweet.
299
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,727
Give it back!
300
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,450
Stop, Max.
301
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,761
Blah, blah,
blah, bullshit, bullshit.
302
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,808
Ah. Here we go,
Maxi's wish list.
303
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,041
Stevie, stop.
That's enough.
304
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,804
Wait, you're up first, Beth.
305
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,481
"I wish me and Beth could
hang out like we used to.
306
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,484
"You might have noticed that
I don't have tons of friends."
307
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,847
Oh, no, really, Max?
(CHUCKLES)
308
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,807
"I wish my mom and dad
could fall in love again.
309
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,170
"I know they get
upset a lot,
310
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,049
"with Dad away
from home so much.
311
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,120
- "I think they really just miss each other.
- (JORDAN CHUCKLES)
312
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,882
"Also, I wish things
weren't so hard
313
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,566
"for Uncle Howard
and Aunt Linda.
314
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,081
"So, maybe you can lend them
a hand the rest of the year, too.
315
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,000
"And...
316
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,807
"And that..."
317
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,924
Screw you! Dad does
not wish we were boys!
318
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,811
Okay. Who wants
crème brûlée?
319
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,124
(SCREAMING)
Give me the letter! Give me it back!
320
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200
Hey, Max.
321
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,447
- Hey.
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
322
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,800
- Hey!
- LINDA: Girls!
323
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:42,881
(SCREAMS)
324
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,242
(ALL GRUNTING)
325
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,521
HOWARD: Hey! Hey!
326
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,010
Come on, Howard.
Stevie, Jordan.
327
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,080
Come on.
328
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,645
HOWARD: All right,
all right, that's enough.
329
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,960
Are you okay? Honey?
330
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,330
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
331
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,920
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be, but forget it.
332
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,086
I hate Christmas!
333
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,605
I hate all of you!
334
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,126
Max. Max!
335
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,370
AUNT DOROTHY:
Oh, lay off of him.
336
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,966
Kid deserves a prize
just for telling the truth.
337
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,121
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
338
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,283
- Can I come in?
- No. (SNIFFLES)
339
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,126
(SIGHS) You know,
they're leaving right after Christmas,
340
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,966
so we only have to survive
another three days.
341
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,280
I don't get it.
342
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,044
Every year it gets worse.
343
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,966
Why do we have to put up with
their crap just because we share DNA?
344
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,241
Because that's what
a family is, Max.
345
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,243
People you try to
be friends with,
346
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,687
even though you don't have
a whole lot in common.
347
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,449
But why?
Because...
348
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,211
Well...
349
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,161
Okay, you kind of
got me there.
350
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,441
(SIGHS)
351
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,281
Or maybe it makes us
work a little harder
352
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,840
to find what we do have
in common, you know?
353
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,602
Put everything aside,
think of other people for a change.
354
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,331
Friends, family,
355
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,681
even the assholes
you normally can't stand.
356
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,131
Like Uncle Howard?
357
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,850
Didn't wanna name names.
358
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,851
Dad, do you really
believe in all that?
359
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,002
I want to, Max.
360
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,889
But, hey,
bet there's still time
361
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,526
to drop that letter
in the mailbox, huh?
362
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,002
(WIND WHOOSHING)
363
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,602
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
364
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,690
- (RATTLING)
- (THUNDER CRACKING)
365
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,921
(BELLS CHIMING)
366
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,881
(WIND HOWLING)
367
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,086
SARAH: Don't you find it
the least bit strange?
368
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,764
I mean, they can see
dust specks on Mars,
369
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,684
but no one noticed a giant
blizzard hurtling towards us.
370
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,569
Well, as soon
as the power's back,
371
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,085
you can write
an angry e-mail
372
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,605
to the National
Weather Service.
373
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,967
But in the meantime,
let's just try and stay calm.
374
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,565
Mom, there's
something weird outside.
375
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,766
SARAH: I am calm.
376
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,966
I would just be
calmer if I knew
377
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,087
how we were gonna
survive Christmas
378
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,446
with 12 people
stuck in a house
379
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,763
with no hot water,
no heat, and no electricity.
380
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,921
Or food.
381
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,571
Well, there's plenty
of leftovers, Howard.
382
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,845
Beer it is.
383
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,251
Phone's dead, too.
384
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,680
- Mom!
- What, Max?
385
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,842
There's a snowman
in our yard.
386
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,285
See?
387
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,251
That's... That's great, Max.
388
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,606
But who built it?
389
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,761
You can barely see
across the street,
390
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,208
but it doesn't look
like it's just us.
391
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,930
I can walk over,
check with the Turners.
392
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,650
The Turners are in Hawaii.
393
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,131
The Lamberts are in Florida,
394
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,486
and the Cartwrights
stopped talking to us
395
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,801
after Max's noodle incident.
396
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,120
After his what?
397
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,964
Max, please go and get Omi
out of the fireplace
398
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,042
before she burns
the whole house down.
399
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:30,361
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
400
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,131
LINDA: I'll get it!
401
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,964
Fine.
402
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,724
Seriously,
what are we gonna do?
403
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:37,801
(WIND HOWLING)
404
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,041
MAN: Merry Christmas.
Whoa!
405
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,487
Sign here.
Yeah.
406
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,561
Wow.
407
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,686
Honey, stuff to carry.
408
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,966
Some weather, huh?
409
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,929
Yeah, it's a ghost town
out there.
410
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,161
Roads are a nightmare.
411
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,287
Yeah, no kidding.
412
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,404
Hey, these, too?
413
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,521
MAN: Uh, not mine.
414
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,041
- Uh, must be from the boys in brown.
- LINDA: All right.
415
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,168
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you, too.
416
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,766
(GROANS)
What is it?
417
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,245
Hey, look at this, huh?
418
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,560
What?
419
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,130
They got more stuff.
420
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,163
Man, how come rich people
get all the free shit?
421
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,288
LINDA: I don't know, honey.
Democrats, probably.
422
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,721
(GRUNTS)
423
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,290
LINDA: Oh, my God!
424
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,767
- Argh!
- Who needs this much cheese?
425
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,521
SARAH:
It's one singular moment.
426
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,284
You guys, I've texted Derek,
like, nine times,
427
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,970
and he still
hasn't written back.
428
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,530
That is not normal.
429
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,841
It's the blizzard, honey.
Nothing's working right now.
430
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,490
Then can I walk over
and check on him?
431
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,206
It's only a few blocks.
432
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,647
I don't think
that's a good idea.
433
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,649
Well, I could see if anyone else
has power on the way.
434
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,604
She'll be fine.
435
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,523
Okay. One hour.
436
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,170
But when you get back,
I want you to spend
437
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,720
some girl time with
Jordan and Stevie.
438
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,046
- Got it?
- (JORDAN GRUNTING)
439
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,202
You call that a reversal?
440
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,328
Come on, Jordy,
plant your feet!
441
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,441
Plant your feet.
442
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,640
All right. Here we go.
Right.
443
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,603
HOWARD: Again.
You know what I mean.
444
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,681
Thanks.
445
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,205
Be careful, okay?
446
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,406
BETH: Okay. Back later.
447
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,046
Love you. One hour.
448
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,451
Okay.
449
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,611
Max, I told you to
get Omi out of the...
450
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,168
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
451
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,642
She says hot chocolate
makes everything better.
452
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,408
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
453
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,367
(LOUD THUD)
454
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,121
(BREATH TREMBLING)
455
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,685
Oh, my God.
456
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,241
(SCREAMING)
457
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:50,681
Please!
458
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,162
(HOWLING)
459
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,083
Somebody help me!
460
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,931
Please!
461
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,611
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
462
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,161
(SCREAMING)
463
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,322
(CREATURE HOWLING)
464
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,967
(PANTING)
465
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,962
(CHAINS JANGLING)
466
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,688
(MUSIC PLAYING)
467
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,001
(MUSIC STOPS)
468
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,321
(GASPS)
469
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,722
(BETH SOBBING)
470
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,840
(PURRING)
471
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,691
(SCREAMING)
472
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,165
(RUMBLING)
473
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:28,921
SARAH: Get anything?
474
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,086
TOM: No.
475
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,849
It's the weirdest thing.
There's no cars,
476
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,924
no people,
not even a salt truck.
477
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,606
Don't suppose
you got me
478
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,121
a backup generator
for Christmas, did you?
479
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,046
SARAH: Yeah, it's under the tree,
next to your ties and underwear.
480
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,406
TOM: Good.
481
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:49,681
(SARAH EXHALES)
482
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,250
It's getting late.
483
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,565
Beth should be home by now.
484
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,881
She's fine.
She's at Derek's.
485
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,530
All the more
reason to worry.
486
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,923
Hey, hon, relax.
Just for once. Okay?
487
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,285
How's everybody else doing?
488
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,882
You know, cranky, bored,
489
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,769
sick of the snow.
490
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,126
And each other.
491
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,361
'Tis the season.
492
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,441
(CHUCKLES)
493
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,249
Oh, God, I miss us.
494
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,205
Me, too.
495
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,082
(SIREN BLARING)
496
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,965
Mom, Dad.
497
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,841
It's already dark out
and Beth isn't back yet.
498
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,001
TOM: Hey, Howard.
499
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,243
Do you think your Hummer
could get through this mess?
500
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,890
Lucinda?
501
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,849
I could point her
due east, hit the gas,
502
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,890
and she'd be storming the beaches
at Normandy by sunrise.
503
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,086
What's on your mind, T?
504
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,241
Well, it's Beth.
505
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,765
She went to her
boyfriend's earlier
506
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,080
and she hasn't
come back yet.
507
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,400
AUNT DOROTHY: See?
508
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,241
Let them out of your sight for one second,
and boom, shotgun wedding.
509
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,527
Aunt Dorothy, please.
510
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,165
Well, you ought to know.
511
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,810
TOM: It's probably nothing.
512
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,241
But I thought
we'd go pick her up,
513
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,600
take a quick swing
around town,
514
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,966
see what's
going on out there.
515
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,166
A little recon mission, huh?
516
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:25,971
Thought you'd never ask.
517
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,246
LINDA: Okay.
518
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,885
HOWARD: (GRUNTS) Go to Mama.
Yep.
519
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,086
All righty.
520
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,527
OMI: Thomas. Thomas.
521
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,524
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
522
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,484
What? Why?
523
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,080
What the hell is
she so riled up about?
524
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:39,646
(OMI SPEAKING GERMAN)
525
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,691
She says not to go.
526
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,160
That it's too dangerous, and that we
should wait until the storm's over.
527
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,406
SARAH: Tom.
No, I got this.
528
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,086
Hey, Mom, we have to
go pick up Beth,
529
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,243
but Max and Sarah will take
care of you while I'm gone. Okay?
530
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,328
(SPEAKING IN GERMAN)
Mom. Hey, Mom, listen.
531
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,802
(TOM SPEAKING GERMAN)
532
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,930
Everything's gonna be okay.
533
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:07,721
(OMI SIGHS)
534
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,762
HOWARD:
Global warming, my ass.
535
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,760
- Must be -20 out here.
- (RADIO CRACKLING)
536
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,002
TOM: This just
doesn't make any sense.
537
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,327
- You try AM?
- Yeah, I tried everything.
538
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,607
The storm probably knocked out
the radio stations, too.
539
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,130
I guess so.
540
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,482
What I wouldn't give for a little
Bing Crosby right about now.
541
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,805
Wait, wait, wait. Slow down.
542
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,450
What is that?
543
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,770
(CAR BRAKES CREAKING)
544
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,200
Is that a snowplow?
545
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,846
TOM: Hello?
546
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,331
HOWARD: Christ.
547
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,485
Poor bastard must have
sailed clear through.
548
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,726
Looks more like
the opposite.
549
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,245
What do you mean?
550
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,322
TOM: The glass is
punched in.
551
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,608
We gotta find Beth.
552
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,162
You packed guns
on Christmas.
553
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,607
Always be prepared,
Boy Scout.
554
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,160
It's kind of heavy.
555
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,401
Yeah.
556
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,170
It's Linda's.
557
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:31,801
(CHRISSY COOS)
558
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,280
Oh, my gosh.
559
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,166
You had Mom's angel
this whole time?
560
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,163
SARAH: Yeah,
I thought you knew.
561
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,730
No.
562
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,841
Oh.
563
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,847
Remember how we used to fight
over who got to place her?
564
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,763
Yeah, and you fought dirty.
565
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,201
I think I still have the scars.
(CHUCKLES)
566
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,408
Where do you think
my girls get it from?
567
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,450
Wow. You saved everything.
568
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,481
Yeah.
569
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,766
I figured that's what
Mom would have done, you know.
570
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,448
(FOOTSTEPS)
571
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,081
(BABBLING)
572
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,240
Mom?
573
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,090
Probably just squirrels.
574
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,489
In this weather?
575
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,766
(FOOTSTEPS CONTINUES)
576
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,361
(LIGHT THUD)
577
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,041
(LOUD BOOM)
578
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,729
(CRYING)
579
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,646
See?
580
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,805
- Squirrels.
- AUNT DOROTHY: Right.
581
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,802
Probably playing
with their nuts.
582
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:20,004
(WIND WHOOSHING)
583
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,531
(CREAKING)
584
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:26,526
TOM: Beth?
585
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,365
Derek!
586
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,361
Beth!
587
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,047
HOWARD: Quiet, Tommy.
I don't like this.
588
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,681
Whoever did this
is a demented son of a bitch.
589
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,526
Don't worry.
We'll find her, buddy.
590
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,565
Looks like a gas line blew.
591
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,766
HOWARD: What's that?
592
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,722
HOWARD: I've hunted
a lot of game in my day.
593
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,810
Those are hooves.
594
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,251
Big ones, too.
595
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,082
Could be an elk or a goat.
596
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,448
What kind of goat
walks on its hind legs?
597
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,124
(BETH SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
598
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,281
Beth!
599
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,884
- Beth!
- BETH: Help me!
600
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,410
Beth!
601
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,806
BETH: Help!
602
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,651
TOM: Beth!
603
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,330
Beth!
604
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761
Beth!
605
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,205
Tommy!
606
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,920
Wait up!
607
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,971
(CREATURE RATTLING)
608
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,041
(CREATURE BITING)
609
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,121
(SCREAMING)
610
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,441
Howard!
611
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,442
(CREATURE GROWLING)
612
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:46,881
(SCREAMING)
613
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,086
Oh, my God!
614
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,764
TOM: Hold on, Howard!
615
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,729
HOWARD: (MUFFLED)
Help! Oh, God!
616
00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:55,241
(GRUNTS)
617
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,007
Tommy!
618
00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,241
(CREATURE SNARLING)
619
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,361
Something's biting me!
620
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,290
Don't let go!
621
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:04,966
(SCREAMING)
622
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,321
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
623
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,801
(WHIMPERS)
624
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,721
Tommy?
625
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,361
(DISTANT GUNSHOTS)
626
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,688
(CREATURE SHRIEKING)
627
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:21,921
(GROANING)
628
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,206
TOM: Let's go!
629
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,645
HOWARD:
What was that thing?
630
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,331
TOM: I don't know,
but we have to move!
631
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,849
(GROANING)
632
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,087
Oh, my God.
Oh!
633
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,764
HOWARD: Lucinda!
634
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,207
Where do you
think you're going?
635
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,691
To find them.
I don't like this.
636
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,926
What are you talking about?
637
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,923
Tom and Howard know
what they're doing. They're fine.
638
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,202
- Are they?
- MAX: Mom?
639
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,289
SARAH: Honey, I'll be
right back. I promise.
640
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,361
- Just lock the door.
- (DOOR THUDDING OPEN)
641
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:58,601
(TOM AND HOWARD YELLING)
642
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,411
Max, get the first aid kit!
Sarah, lock the door.
643
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,640
Girls! Make some room for your dad!
Oh, my God!
644
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,250
- TOM: Get the door, shut the door!
- (CHRISSY CRYING)
645
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,321
Where's Beth?
646
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,401
LINDA: We heard gunshots!
647
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,811
TOM: I'll explain everything,
648
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,451
but right now everybody just needs
to stay calm and stay inside!
649
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,965
HOWARD: Get away
from the windows!
650
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,964
Swords, guns, knives, pots, pans,
get whatever you can...
651
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,485
- Howard!
- What?
652
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,484
(SOFTLY) Not here.
653
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,121
Jiminy Christmas.
654
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,202
What happened out there?
655
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,361
Nothing.
656
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,766
It's just a scratch.
657
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,091
Oh, my God. it looks
like something bit you!
658
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,486
HOWARD: Nope.
659
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,847
Probably a bear trap
under the snow or something.
660
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,285
We don't have bears here.
661
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,244
Okay. Um...
662
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,811
Kids, why don't you
go into the kitchen
663
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,490
and get something
to eat now, okay?
664
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,369
You just don't wanna tell us
what's really going on here!
665
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,841
Everybody, in the kitchen right now, Max!
Okay? Right now.
666
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,960
SARAH: Come on, let's go.
Girls. Come on. It's okay.
667
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,843
Aunt Dorothy, will you
keep an eye on them?
668
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,001
AUNT DOROTHY: Why me?
669
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,560
I never liked kids,
even when I was one.
670
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:58,927
Please.
671
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,921
Oh, all right. All right!
672
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,765
Come on, guys,
I'm gonna teach you
673
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,968
how to make
peppermint schnapps.
674
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,803
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Mom.
675
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,126
Mom. Will you please go into
the kitchen and help with the kids?
676
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,162
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
677
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,123
- (HOWARD GROANS)
- LINDA: Come here, baby.
678
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,366
AUNT DOROTHY: See?
A little sugar and a little spice
679
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:34,521
(CHUCKLES)
680
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,491
makes everything nice.
681
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,081
Mmm.
682
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:51,127
(SIGHS) All right.
But don't you rat me out.
683
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,403
SARAH: But who
or what did all this?
684
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,283
HOWARD: Your guess
is as good as mine.
685
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,160
- First I thought it was a gang thing,
- (MEAT CLEAVER SWISHES)
686
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,600
but between this and all the
crazy stuff we saw out there,
687
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,205
it just doesn't add up.
688
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,243
LINDA: It could be
terrorists, right?
689
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,446
HOWARD: Yeah, terrorists.
690
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,091
Maybe traded their suicide vests
for rabid snow dogs?
691
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,810
Tommy! (GROANS)
692
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,325
Tom, God!
Sorry. Sorry.
693
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,450
- (HOWARD GROANS)
- SARAH: Um...
694
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,921
And Beth?
695
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,844
Okay. She wasn't at Derek's,
but that doesn't mean anything.
696
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,081
She may have
found somewhere safe.
697
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,241
So, she's still out there.
698
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,169
Yes. And we will
find her, I promise.
699
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,806
But I had to make sure you guys were safe.
I had to get Howard back...
700
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,291
I don't care how
long it takes, Tom.
701
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,486
We have to keep looking.
702
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,369
We have to pair up and take turns...
Yes.
703
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,522
We can't go back out there!
You see this?
704
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,840
It's damn near frostbite.
705
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,001
In under four minutes!
706
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,241
(SOFTLY) Honey, keep
your voice down.
707
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,129
HOWARD: Besides it being
sub-zero out there,
708
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,407
someone's tearing through your
fancy-ass neighborhood
709
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,481
picking everybody off.
710
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,800
It's the truth!
711
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,042
Honey, sweetheart.
Listen, why don't we just leave?
712
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,770
Right? We can all
pile in the truck
713
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,966
and we'll just see
as far as we can get,
714
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,088
- and we pick up Beth...
- HOWARD: The truck's gone.
715
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,366
Torn to pieces.
716
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:58,601
- What?
- LINDA: What?
717
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,524
HOWARD: Yeah. And even if she wasn't,
the streets are totally screwed.
718
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,001
We can't go anywhere.
It's too dangerous. You got it?
719
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,964
Howard, how much ammo
do you have?
720
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,727
A couple shells still loaded,
maybe a dozen in my pocket.
721
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,131
Why?
722
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,329
I think our best bet
is to stay put.
723
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,289
Board up all
the doors and windows.
724
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,361
And as soon as the weather breaks,
we'll go find her.
725
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,965
I told you we should've
gone to my brother's.
726
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,923
Sure, Howard.
Christmas on a pig farm.
727
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,280
Jesus was born in a barn!
728
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,441
SARAH:
Knock it off, you guys!
729
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,090
What about the kids?
What are we gonna tell them?
730
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,446
I don't know. The truth?
731
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,284
Sure. Which version of it?
732
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,162
Hey, you guys.
Oh, God.
733
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,890
SARAH: How much
of that did you hear?
734
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,731
Enough.
735
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,882
Mama, did someone
take Beth?
736
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,007
Are they coming for us?
737
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,606
No. No, babies.
No, everything's fine.
738
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,161
Beth's just with her
boyfriend, that's all.
739
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,201
And nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
740
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,011
You know what, let's have a campout, okay?
We'll watch a movie. Yeah?
741
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,366
Let's get cozy
on the couch.
742
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,487
Go get your
sister, Stevie.
743
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,085
Come on, baby. Come on.
744
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,850
We'll find her,
I promise.
745
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,764
ELF: (ON TABLET) "And lo, the angel
of the Lord came upon them.
746
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,606
"And the glory of the Lord
shone round about them.
747
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,603
"And they were so afraid.
748
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,682
"And the angel said unto them,
749
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,451
"'Fear not. For behold,
I bring you tidings of great joy..."'
750
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,966
Won't the battery die?
751
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,804
Gotta die sometime.
752
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,405
Might as well
enjoy it while we can.
753
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:26,721
Hey.
754
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,765
Beth's a tough girl.
755
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,003
Takes after her mom.
756
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,764
I'm sure she's fine.
757
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,691
Thank you.
758
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,240
Hey, Tommy.
759
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:48,841
I, uh...
760
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,562
I just wanna say
thanks for, you know,
761
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,489
saving my ass back there.
762
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,769
Oh, well, sure.
No problem.
763
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,531
And I just wanna say
I'm sorry
764
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,160
for thinking you're such a
spineless dick all these years.
765
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:19,886
Yeah.
766
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,531
You should get
some sleep, pal.
767
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,205
How?
768
00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,651
TOM: Good point.
769
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:34,721
MAX: Hey, Dad?
770
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,080
Are we gonna die?
771
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,888
Hey. No, no.
772
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:43,767
No.
773
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,564
Omi's been acting different.
774
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,968
Ever since the storm.
775
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,327
TOM: Yeah, well,
you know,
776
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,648
she always gets a little
weird around Christmas.
777
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,606
How come?
778
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,042
I don't know.
She never wanted to talk about it.
779
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,490
SARAH: Max. Come on.
780
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,166
Time for bed.
781
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,289
It's gonna be fine.
782
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,086
All right.
783
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:31,801
(TOM SIGHS)
784
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,804
You know, Linda and I,
we butt heads,
785
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,682
but I can't imagine
life without her.
786
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,324
Yeah, I know what you mean.
787
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,564
One of us should probably
stay up and keep watch.
788
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,564
That's a good idea.
I'll go first.
789
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,371
No. You go ahead and catch
some winks with your family.
790
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,408
- Are you sure?
- HOWARD: Yeah.
791
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,802
A shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
792
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,763
Night, Howard.
Good night.
793
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:07,721
(SIGHS)
794
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,528
(SNORING)
795
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,802
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TABLET)
796
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:06,361
(MUSIC STOPS)
797
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,808
- (CHITTERING)
- (FOOTSTEPS)
798
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,121
(CHITTERING CONTINUES)
799
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,531
(CHITTERING GROWS LOUDER)
800
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:00,726
(CHAIN JANGLING)
801
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:06,081
(CREATURE CALLING)
802
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,165
(SNIFFLES)
803
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,728
(CHITTERING RESUMES)
804
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,051
(EXCLAIMS)
805
00:47:58,360 --> 00:47:59,361
(GASPS)
806
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,081
(WHOOPING)
807
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,285
(LAUGHING MISCHIEVOUSLY)
808
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:08,920
(WHISTLES)
809
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:09,961
(EXCLAIMS)
810
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:11,881
(HOWIE YELLING)
811
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,960
Howie!
812
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,650
HOWIE: Dad! Dad!
813
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,483
Hang on, Howie!
814
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,361
HOWIE: Dad!
815
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,648
LINDA: Sarah!
Hold on, Sarah!
816
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,803
- Mom!
- LINDA: Call 911!
817
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:33,361
(SCREAMING)
818
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:35,361
(BARKS)
819
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:37,965
- Howie, hold on!
- (STRAINED GRUNTING)
820
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,881
Hold on!
821
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:45,167
(SCREAMING)
822
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,161
(SCREAMS)
823
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:55,811
Max, get the
fire extinguisher!
824
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,040
Help me! Help me! Help me!
825
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,487
- TOM: Sarah! I got you!
- (CACKLING)
826
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:02,601
(SCREAMS)
827
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,001
(SCREAMING)
828
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,650
Pull me down!
829
00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:06,881
I got you!
830
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,041
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
831
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,211
(FOOTSTEPS)
832
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:17,881
(SOBBING)
833
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,001
Hey!
834
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,127
HOWARD: No!
835
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:21,531
Howie!
836
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:22,601
No, no, no!
837
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,570
JORDAN: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
838
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:38,810
(SCREAMING)
839
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,207
Honey? Are you okay?
Are you hurt? Hon?
840
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,084
What unholy thing was that?
841
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:49,161
(CRYING)
842
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,404
- LINDA: Howard. Howard.
- (BREATH TREMBLING)
843
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,286
It's my fault.
No.
844
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,124
HOWARD: I fell asleep.
845
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,881
And they got our boy.
It's all my fault.
846
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,082
(OMI SPEAKING GERMAN)
847
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:13,290
Tom, what's she saying?
848
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,327
TOM: This is all of our fault?
849
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,928
He's come for us all?
850
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,644
He? Who?
851
00:50:21,720 --> 00:50:23,484
(VOICE TREMBLING)
Who's he? I don't know.
852
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,244
Mom, what are you
talking about?
853
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,163
Please. Listen.
854
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,721
English. I knew it.
855
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,483
I must tell you something.
856
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,764
To all of you.
857
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,488
It started with the wind.
858
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,126
On a cold winter night,
much like this.
859
00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:52,291
It was almost Christmas.
860
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:58,201
But this Christmas was darker.
Less cheerful.
861
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,170
But I still
believed in Santa.
862
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,170
In magic,
863
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,962
and miracles.
864
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,851
And the hope that we
could find joy again.
865
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,921
But our village had given up.
866
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,250
On miracles, and on each other.
(GASPS)
867
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,602
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
868
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,531
They had forgotten
the spirit of Christmas.
869
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,891
The sacrifice of giving.
870
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:37,801
And my family
was no different.
871
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,530
I tried to help them
to believe again,
872
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,611
but we were no longer
the loving family I remembered.
873
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,731
They, too, had given up.
874
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,601
And eventually, so did I.
875
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,287
And for the first time,
I didn't wish for a miracle.
876
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,763
I wished for them
to go away.
877
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,727
A wish I would come to regret.
878
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,283
And that night,
879
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,887
in the darkness of
a howling blizzard,
880
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,531
I got my wish.
881
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:29,840
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
882
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:32,651
- (CHAINS JANGLING)
- (LOUD THUDDING)
883
00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:37,647
I knew Saint Nicholas
was not coming this year.
884
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:39,041
(THUDDING CONTINUES)
885
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:46,801
Instead, it was a much darker,
more ancient spirit.
886
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,885
The shadow of Saint Nicholas.
887
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,001
It was Krampus.
888
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,408
And as he had for
thousands of years,
889
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,927
Krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
890
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:11,009
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
- Not to give, but to take.
891
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,046
He and his helpers.
892
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,608
- (GROWLING)
- (CACKLING)
893
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:23,726
I could only listen as they dragged
my family into the underworld,
894
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,805
knowing that I would be next.
895
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,807
But Krampus didn't
take me that night.
896
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:42,443
He left me as a reminder
of what happens when hope is lost,
897
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,808
when belief is forgotten,
898
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,810
and the Christmas spirit dies.
899
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,405
(SOBBING)
900
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,161
(SIGHS)
901
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,163
And here I thought
I was the one losing it.
902
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,527
- Howard.
- What?
903
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,286
You believe this senile horseshit?
I don't know.
904
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,291
HOWARD: Evil Santa?
Jesus H. Almighty.
905
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,003
She'll be yammering about
a rabid Easter Bunny come Spring.
906
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,081
Howard, that's enough.
907
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,681
(GRUNTS)
908
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,242
HOWARD: You damn right
it's enough.
909
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,287
Whoever the hell's
messing with us
910
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,442
took my boy
and your daughter,
911
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,206
and we're sitting around
listening to some twisted bedtime story?
912
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,205
Screw that.
913
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:38,680
- I'm getting Howie back.
- TOM: Howard!
914
00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:40,131
Daddy? Daddy, don't go!
Howard, what are you doing?
915
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,486
- HOWARD: Tommy, don't!
- STEVIE: Stay with us, please!
916
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,920
- Don't, Tommy!
- JORDAN: Daddy, don't!
917
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,001
Whoa!
918
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,805
I'm starting to like you.
919
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:49,720
I am.
920
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,050
But this is my choice.
921
00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,366
Howard, what are you doing?
922
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,484
We've got four
other kids here to protect.
923
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:57,561
Howard.
924
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:58,801
Baby, please don't do this.
925
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,770
Listen, we can figure
something else out. Honey.
926
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,446
This is how I
figure things out.
927
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,567
Howard, you don't
wanna do this.
928
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:06,921
(GROANS)
Howard!
929
00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:08,241
(WIND HOWLING)
930
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,561
Howie!
931
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,931
- Howie!
- (CREATURE CACKLING)
932
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,970
No, shut the door!
933
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,769
Inside! Shut it!
934
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,082
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
935
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:38,320
(CACKLING CONTINUES OUTSIDE)
936
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,530
Don't open the door.
937
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,440
MAX: Dad?
938
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:46,806
What are we gonna do now?
939
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,809
We keep the fire hot.
940
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,042
(WIND HOWLING)
941
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:11,881
(THUNDER CRACKLING)
942
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,803
JORDAN: But what if you've
been good, like, all year?
943
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,529
And you leave out
milk and cookies,
944
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:27,720
and do everything else right?
945
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,488
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
946
00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:41,085
It's not what you do.
947
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,648
It's what you believe.
948
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,929
And what you've given up
949
00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:47,571
in here.
950
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,361
STEVIE: But can't we
make him go away?
951
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,002
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
952
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,244
JORDAN: What's she saying?
953
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,731
I'm not sure.
954
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:02,006
She says we're fucked.
955
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,681
Eh.
956
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:06,446
How did you...
957
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,488
Because I'm old enough
to know when life is coming at you
958
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,085
with his pants down.
959
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,048
(SIGHS)
Hey.
960
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,731
When they took Howie,
what did you see up there?
961
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,330
You believe
that story, right?
962
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,841
Do you?
963
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,568
I don't know
what I believe anymore.
964
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,766
I know I'm going out there
to find Beth. I have to.
965
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,520
I don't even care if I die trying.
I know.
966
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:56,167
Listen. Let's get Howard
and Linda. I have an idea.
967
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,722
(JANGLING)
968
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:42,481
(JANGLES)
969
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,600
SARAH: Linda.
970
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,443
Can we talk with you
and Howard for a minute?
971
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,090
Can it wait?
972
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,441
I just wanna get
these rewrapped for the kids.
973
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,484
It's important.
974
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,726
HOWARD: The snowplow?
975
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,531
TOM: The keys were in the
ignition and it was beat to hell.
976
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,807
But if it runs,
I drive it back here,
977
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,042
then everyone
piles in the car
978
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:13,329
and follows, while I clear
a path in front of us.
979
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,607
And go where?
980
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,887
SARAH: The mall doubles
as an emergency shelter.
981
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,725
And if it's empty,
we'll try the police station.
982
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,007
And what if
they're gone, too?
983
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:27,125
Then we keep driving
till we see lights or people,
984
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,487
plowed road,
somewhere safe for the kids.
985
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,289
And then we
bring help back here.
986
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,369
For Beth and Howie.
987
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:36,131
You're not thinking of going
for the plow by yourself, are you?
988
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,484
Well, shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
989
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,002
(CREATURES CACKLING
AND CHITTERING)
990
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:51,680
- (BOX RATTLING)
- (CREATURE CHITTERING)
991
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:53,761
(RUMBLING)
992
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:12,481
(GASPS)
993
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,640
STEVIE: I can't believe you're
afraid to come up here by yourself.
994
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:34,923
JORDAN: It's not my fault
Aunt Dorothy clogged up the crapper.
995
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,646
Hey, Stevie?
996
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:38,846
Yeah?
997
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:40,971
Do you think
they took Howie
998
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,646
because of the time
we painted the cats?
999
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,290
I don't know, Jordan.
1000
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:48,844
Do you think he's dead?
1001
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:50,845
I don't know.
1002
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:53,927
GIRL: Jordan?
1003
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,365
Stevie?
1004
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:02,447
Beth?
1005
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:04,561
Beth, you up there?
1006
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,641
GIRL: Stevie? Jordan?
1007
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,324
What are you doing?
1008
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:12,563
Where have you been?
Everyone's freaking out.
1009
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,608
GIRL: Come up here
and I'll show you.
1010
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,451
I've been
waiting for you guys.
1011
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:18,766
Hurry.
1012
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,405
Have you told Max yet?
1013
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,569
No. Not yet.
1014
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:25,561
(STEVIE SCREAMING)
1015
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:26,961
Jordan?
1016
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:28,721
Stevie!
1017
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,683
Where are they?
Where did they go?
1018
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,046
They were just here.
1019
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,849
I think they went
to the bathroom.
1020
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:37,200
And you just let them go?
1021
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,770
Was there another option?
1022
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,729
(STEVIE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
1023
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:42,887
LINDA: Jordan!
1024
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,962
Stevie? Jordan?
Linda.
1025
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,881
Listen.
1026
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:47,961
(CACKLING)
1027
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,051
Honey, who is that?
1028
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,444
TOM: Howard, stay here.
1029
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:58,486
MAX: Omi?
Hmm?
1030
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,004
I think all this
might be my fault.
1031
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:02,811
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1032
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:12,848
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
1033
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:14,281
(SNARLS)
1034
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,801
Uncle Howard?
1035
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:18,241
(SHUSHING)
1036
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:22,601
(WHISPERS) Rosie.
1037
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,206
Come here, girl.
1038
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,328
(WHINES)
1039
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,163
Useless turd.
1040
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:32,882
All right, wait here.
1041
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:50,600
LINDA: Jordan?
1042
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,365
Stevie?
1043
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,888
(STAIRS CREAKING)
1044
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,763
LINDA: (BREATHING HEAVILY)
Okay. Okay.
1045
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,131
TOM: Jordan.
1046
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,247
SARAH: Stevie?
1047
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,289
LINDA: You guys.
1048
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:40,731
The hell is this?
1049
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:48,010
- (CRASH)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
1050
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:49,525
TOM: God damn it.
1051
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:51,689
- (CHRISSY CRYING)
- (SHUSHING)
1052
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,604
It's okay.
I got you.
1053
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,964
You're gonna be okay.
1054
01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:59,041
(GLASS SHATTERING)
1055
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:00,121
(CACKLING)
1056
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:26,291
- (CREATURE CLACKING)
- (GRUNTS)
1057
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:54,687
(CREATURE GROWLS SOFTLY)
1058
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:58,807
SARAH: What...
1059
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,324
Oh, come on!
(SHUDDERING)
1060
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:14,840
Hey!
1061
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,803
SARAH: Oh, my God!
1062
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,163
- TOM: No!
- LINDA: Jordan! No!
1063
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:20,765
(SCREAMING)
Oh, my God!
1064
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:24,961
(SOBBING)
1065
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,524
Shoot it, Tom!
Shoot it!
1066
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,170
For God's sake,
shoot it!
1067
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:31,481
(GUNSHOTS)
1068
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:35,921
Linda!
1069
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:37,841
(GRUNTS)
1070
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:40,607
(CREATURES CACKLING)
1071
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:48,084
We should have
gone to my brother's.
1072
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:50,247
(SCREAMING)
1073
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,165
Where did it go?
I don't know!
1074
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:06,571
Oh, my God.
1075
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:07,921
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1076
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:26,202
(SHRIEKING)
1077
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:28,521
(ALL SCREAMING)
1078
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:29,601
(SHRIEKS)
1079
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:33,889
(SCREAMING)
1080
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:36,761
Ow!
1081
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:42,287
- TOM: Bear!
- What?
1082
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:44,689
Bear!
1083
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:50,441
(NAIL GUN CLICKING)
1084
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:02,481
(SCREAMING)
1085
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:04,601
- (SCREAMING)
- (GROWLING)
1086
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:16,921
(SCREAMING)
1087
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,887
SARAH: Oh, my God!
1088
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:26,641
(GRUNTS)
1089
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:29,485
(GROANING)
1090
01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:33,884
You have got to be
kidding me!
1091
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,322
(SCREAMING)
1092
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,286
Merry Christmas, mother...
1093
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,124
There he is!
Charge!
1094
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:48,521
(GUN COCKS)
1095
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:55,010
(SCREAMING)
1096
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:56,641
(SCREAMING)
1097
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:58,161
(SCREAMING STOPS)
1098
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:08,083
(LAUGHING)
1099
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,730
That's a good girl.
1100
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:13,765
(GRUNTING)
1101
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:25,041
(CHOKING)
1102
01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:28,681
LINDA: Get off of me!
1103
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:35,491
(LINDA WHIMPERING)
1104
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:38,966
Stevie?
1105
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:40,201
Stevie!
1106
01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:41,841
(SCREAMING)
1107
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,244
(BEAR SHRIEKING)
1108
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,201
(GRUNTS)
1109
01:08:57,520 --> 01:08:58,521
(CREATURE SHRIEKS)
1110
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:05,164
(PANTING)
1111
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:11,444
Hey! Give me back
my kids, you fudger!
1112
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:16,440
Jordan!
1113
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:21,046
Stevie. I'm coming, baby.
1114
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,767
Stevie. Baby.
1115
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:24,841
It's okay.
1116
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,049
Mama's here. Mama's here.
There you go! (GASPS)
1117
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,282
STEVIE: Mom, it got Jordan.
1118
01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:32,562
It was gonna eat me next.
1119
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:36,201
TOM: Thanks, honey.
1120
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,248
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
1121
01:09:43,240 --> 01:09:44,241
(GUN CLICKING)
1122
01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:46,888
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1123
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,411
What?
1124
01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,204
MAX: Mom!
1125
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:58,884
Max!
1126
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:02,806
LINDA: Come on, baby.
Come on, baby. It's okay.
1127
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,526
- Max, are you okay?
- Yeah.
1128
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:05,761
What happened up there?
1129
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,968
- TOM: They got Jordan.
- Who?
1130
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:09,367
(CREATURE GROWLING)
1131
01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:14,685
(LOUD THUD)
1132
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:15,886
MAX: Mom?
1133
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,120
I think it's panicking,
trying to get outside.
1134
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,045
Well, we boarded
everything up.
1135
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,441
Howard, that's Jordan.
1136
01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:25,567
We gotta get in there.
1137
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:26,926
We gotta get in
there and get her out.
1138
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,890
Linda, what are we dealing with?
What did you see up there?
1139
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,724
You don't wanna know,
sweetheart.
1140
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,531
Honey, I just got
my ass kicked
1141
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:35,965
by a bunch of
Christmas cookies,
1142
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:38,486
so trust me when I say I can take it!
(SHUSHING)
1143
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:40,849
(CREATURE GROWLING)
1144
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:43,767
(ROSIE BARKING)
1145
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:51,484
Max, what are you doing?
1146
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,686
Go get them, girl.
1147
01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:58,921
(CREATURE GROWLING)
1148
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:02,163
(ROSIE BARKING)
1149
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:04,961
Get them, Rosie.
1150
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,010
- (GROWLING INTENSIFIES)
- (ROSIE BARKING)
1151
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:09,605
(CREAKING)
1152
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:18,127
(ROSIE YELPS)
1153
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:23,561
(CREAKING STOPS)
1154
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,170
Rosie?
1155
01:11:28,720 --> 01:11:29,721
(LINDA EXCLAIMING)
1156
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:35,563
(GROANING)
1157
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:44,768
(GROWLING)
1158
01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:46,769
For God's sake,
Howard, shoot it!
1159
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,048
- (SCREAMING)
- (SHRIEKING)
1160
01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,321
STEVIE: Dad!
1161
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,685
Get it off me!
1162
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:54,091
Dad!
1163
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,080
You bitch!
1164
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:02,604
HOWARD: Get it off me! God!
1165
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,651
- STEVIE: Dad!
- (SNARLS)
1166
01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:08,131
Dad!
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1167
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,721
Omi!
1168
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:19,321
(ALL GRUNTING)
1169
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:23,201
(ALL PANTING)
1170
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,963
Aunt Dorothy.
1171
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,280
Finish it.
1172
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,203
- With pleasure.
- (GUN COCKS)
1173
01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:34,370
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
1174
01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:36,527
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1175
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:39,601
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1176
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,081
Oh, shit.
1177
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,444
TOM: Max, be careful!
1178
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:49,446
Mom!
1179
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:51,291
TOM: Stay behind me!
1180
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:52,601
(SNARLING)
1181
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:04,766
(SHRIEKING)
1182
01:13:07,640 --> 01:13:09,688
(GROANING)
1183
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:12,641
(CRYING)
1184
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:25,249
Howard, where's Chrissy?
I don't know!
1185
01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,402
Where's the baby?
1186
01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,005
Honey, where's your sister?
1187
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,081
No!
1188
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,321
HOWARD: No, Linda! No!
1189
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:34,481
LINDA: Howard!
1190
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,842
Howard, the baby!
1191
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:39,004
I'll see you in hell.
1192
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:41,361
(SCREAMING)
1193
01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:44,524
Twisted fairytale horseshit!
1194
01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:45,681
Howard, no!
1195
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:48,001
- (SCREAMING)
- (GASPS)
1196
01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,170
Oh, great!
1197
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,046
- (CACKLING)
- (GROWLING)
1198
01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:01,527
(CREATURE HOWLING)
1199
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,127
Are you okay?
1200
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:22,731
Are you okay?
1201
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,365
Max, get the ammo.
1202
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:30,201
Where did they go?
1203
01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:31,965
I'm more worried about
when they come back.
1204
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:33,405
We need to make
a break for it.
1205
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,681
For what, Tom?
1206
01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:36,649
The snowplow.
It's our only shot.
1207
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,291
And then we're
going after them.
1208
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,404
(SOBBING) What is going on?
1209
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:43,085
Sarah, what's going on?
1210
01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:44,731
Mom, come on,
we're leaving.
1211
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:46,686
You're gonna be okay.
1212
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,570
Mom! We have to go. Now!
1213
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:52,641
(LOUD THUD)
1214
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:56,401
It's him.
1215
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:58,001
(STATIC)
1216
01:14:58,120 --> 01:14:59,960
- (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
- (MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
1217
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:08,726
Let's go.
1218
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,208
Max. Max.
Come, come, come.
1219
01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:18,446
- TOM: Hurry, hurry.
- SARAH: Get your gloves on.
1220
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,165
Here, put your hood up.
1221
01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:24,800
Okay, ready?
1222
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,161
Everybody...
1223
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,445
Hold onto each other.
1224
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:37,325
(WIND HOWLING)
1225
01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:44,725
Omi!
1226
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:46,441
Be good.
1227
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:47,801
Omi!
1228
01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,331
- Omi! Omi, no!
- (LOCK CLICKING)
1229
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,409
Omi!
1230
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,005
TOM: Mom!
1231
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,320
Mom, open the door!
1232
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:58,721
- Mom!
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1233
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,491
- (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
- Mom, you open this door now!
1234
01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:05,967
The window.
1235
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:07,201
Dad!
1236
01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:09,282
She wants to face him.
1237
01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:10,930
She's trying to help.
1238
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:14,083
(CREATURE SHRIEKING)
1239
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:16,841
Let's go.
1240
01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:19,641
Let's go, let's go. Go!
1241
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:29,208
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
1242
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:34,361
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1243
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:46,761
(THUDS)
1244
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:49,490
(CREAKING)
1245
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:29,281
(SCREAMING)
1246
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:31,365
(WIND HOWLING)
1247
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:39,924
TOM: Keep moving!
1248
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:56,725
(CREATURE SHRIEKING)
1249
01:18:58,480 --> 01:19:01,643
Go! Go, get
behind me. Go.
1250
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:04,168
Go, go, go!
Keep moving.
1251
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,010
Come on, buddy.
1252
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,161
(GUN COCKING)
1253
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,843
TOM: Come on.
1254
01:19:15,360 --> 01:19:16,361
(GUNSHOT)
1255
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:19,927
(GUNSHOT)
1256
01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:22,885
(SHRIEKING CONTINUES)
1257
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:26,843
You have to go.
You have to go.
1258
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:28,251
I need you to go!
No.
1259
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:31,529
All of you, you have to go.
Do you understand?
1260
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:34,365
Keep driving.
Do you understand?
1261
01:19:34,600 --> 01:19:35,840
(SOBBING)
1262
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:38,851
I love you.
1263
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:40,530
I love you, buddy.
1264
01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:44,202
Go! Now. Go!
1265
01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:48,441
Go!
1266
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:56,561
- (GUN COCKING)
- Come on!
1267
01:19:57,200 --> 01:19:59,202
(GUNSHOTS)
1268
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:03,846
(GUNSHOTS CONTINUES)
1269
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:08,721
(GUN CLICKING)
1270
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:12,565
(CREATURE HISSING)
1271
01:20:17,160 --> 01:20:18,207
(CREATURE GROWLS)
1272
01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:20,926
SARAH: Come on.
1273
01:20:25,560 --> 01:20:28,086
SARAH: Keep going, keep going.
God, get in.
1274
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:29,366
I want you to
get up in here.
1275
01:20:29,440 --> 01:20:30,800
And I don't want
you to move, okay?
1276
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:32,285
You stay here,
you don't move.
1277
01:20:32,400 --> 01:20:33,401
(CREATURE SNARLING)
1278
01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:34,607
(EXCLAIMS)
1279
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,206
SARAH: Okay?
You understand?
1280
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,726
- Mom! Mom, please!
- (CREATURE SHRIEKING)
1281
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:40,326
Sarah!
1282
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,926
Baby, go with
your Aunt Sarah.
1283
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:44,001
Sarah! Go! Go on!
1284
01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,410
Stevie, sweetheart, it's okay.
Mom!
1285
01:20:46,480 --> 01:20:48,323
It's okay. Come on.
No! Mom!
1286
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:49,681
Sarah!
1287
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:52,440
SARAH: Stay here.
I'll be right back.
1288
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:55,162
(SCREAMING) Sarah!
1289
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,124
Mom! No!
1290
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,044
I love you.
Mom! Mom!
1291
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:01,966
Mom!
1292
01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:04,121
(SOBBING)
1293
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:09,529
STEVIE: Max, we gotta go.
1294
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:12,046
Max, we gotta go. Max.
1295
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:14,927
MAX: Come on.
1296
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:17,086
- Come on.
- (ENGINE SPUTTERING)
1297
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,769
It's not starting.
It's not starting.
1298
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:21,325
Why isn't it starting?
Come on. (LOUD THUDDING)
1299
01:21:21,480 --> 01:21:23,528
Come on! Come on, Max, please.
I'm trying.
1300
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,409
I don't even know
how to drive a stick!
1301
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,005
We have a hybrid!
1302
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:28,520
- Come on! Please!
- (THUDDING CONTINUES)
1303
01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:32,050
- (ROARING)
- (CHILDREN SCREAMING)
1304
01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:34,561
(SCREAMING)
1305
01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:39,486
MAX: Get off of me!
1306
01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:42,967
(CACKLING)
1307
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:44,761
Stevie! Stevie!
1308
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:46,367
Get off me!
1309
01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:52,531
MAX: I said get off!
1310
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:58,281
(CREATURE GROWLS)
1311
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:01,527
STEVIE: Max!
1312
01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:06,407
(GRUNTS)
1313
01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:08,924
STEVIE: (SCREAMING)
Max! Max, no!
1314
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:10,729
No! No! No!
1315
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:12,567
Max!
1316
01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:14,165
MAX: Stevie!
1317
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:19,645
(CHAINS JANGLING)
1318
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:02,167
OMI: He left me as a reminder
1319
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:06,723
of what happens
when hope is lost,
1320
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,811
when belief is forgotten,
1321
01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:15,686
and the Christmas spirit dies.
1322
01:23:19,920 --> 01:23:21,445
(WIND WHOOSHING)
1323
01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,090
STEVIE: Help!
1324
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:35,288
- (STEVIE SCREAMING)
- (CREATURES CACKLING)
1325
01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,361
Help me!
1326
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:42,761
Max!
1327
01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:47,002
(GROWLING)
1328
01:23:51,320 --> 01:23:53,368
(GROWLING)
1329
01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:55,601
STEVIE: Get off me!
1330
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:01,243
(CACKLING)
1331
01:24:01,320 --> 01:24:02,810
(YELLING) Hey!
1332
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:04,686
Asshole!
1333
01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:08,404
(CACKLING AND GROWLING STOPS)
1334
01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:18,962
I take back my wish!
1335
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,448
I take it all back!
1336
01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:23,010
(THUNDER CRACKING)
1337
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:28,809
Give me back my family!
(GRUNTS)
1338
01:24:32,720 --> 01:24:34,404
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
1339
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:43,162
(RUMBLING)
1340
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:47,205
(CREAKING)
1341
01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:54,690
(GROWLING)
1342
01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:27,007
STEVIE: Max!
1343
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:28,961
(SCREAMING)
1344
01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:31,849
MAX: Let her go!
1345
01:25:32,040 --> 01:25:33,644
STEVIE: (SCREAMS)
Help me!
1346
01:25:39,720 --> 01:25:40,881
(HISSES)
1347
01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:55,520
Please.
1348
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,328
I know you can fix this.
1349
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,323
Give them back.
1350
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,925
Take me instead.
1351
01:26:04,920 --> 01:26:06,251
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
1352
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:34,568
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
1353
01:26:34,640 --> 01:26:36,130
(SINISTER LAUGHTER)
1354
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:38,407
(CACKLING)
1355
01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:43,124
No, what are you doing?
I said take me.
1356
01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:45,605
No, take me!
1357
01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:47,290
No, what are you doing?
Take me!
1358
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:49,530
- No!
- (STEVIE SCREAMING)
1359
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:50,926
Stevie!
1360
01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:53,125
(SINISTER LAUGHTER
CONTINUES)
1361
01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,644
MAX: Let me go!
1362
01:27:00,800 --> 01:27:02,689
No! No! Please!
1363
01:27:07,440 --> 01:27:08,487
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1364
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:11,801
I'm sorry.
1365
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,811
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be.
1366
01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:18,520
(HISSES)
1367
01:27:21,760 --> 01:27:23,410
(SCREAMING) No!
1368
01:27:24,880 --> 01:27:26,848
(SCREAMING)
1369
01:27:50,680 --> 01:27:51,886
(MAX SCREAMING)
1370
01:27:51,960 --> 01:27:53,291
- (THUDS)
- (GRUNTS)
1371
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:55,606
(GASPS)
1372
01:27:55,680 --> 01:27:57,762
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1373
01:28:36,480 --> 01:28:38,164
LINDA: Good throw, Sarah.
1374
01:28:39,120 --> 01:28:41,009
- LINDA: You want down?
- HOWARD: Thank you. I appreciate that.
1375
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:43,526
LINDA: Doggie can't have cookie.
No, that's your cookie.
1376
01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:45,045
HOWARD: This dog
didn't keep you guys up?
1377
01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:46,201
She likes to
bark at night.
1378
01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:47,964
She sure does.
1379
01:28:48,040 --> 01:28:50,884
LINDA: Thanks for making pancakes.
Those were really good.
1380
01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,371
Good girl.
1381
01:28:52,440 --> 01:28:54,329
SARAH: Morning.
1382
01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:56,289
TOM: Flax smoothie
in the morning...
1383
01:28:56,800 --> 01:28:59,644
About time you got up.
We've been waiting forever.
1384
01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:01,529
Oh hey, there he is!
Hey, kiddo.
1385
01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,680
We thought the sugarplum fairies
may have gotten you.
1386
01:29:04,600 --> 01:29:05,761
You're all alive.
1387
01:29:06,080 --> 01:29:07,241
AUNT DOROTHY: Barely.
1388
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:11,650
I haven't felt this hungover
since the pope died.
1389
01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,000
TOM: What's up, buddy?
You okay?
1390
01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:15,126
MAX: Yeah, I just...
1391
01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:20,683
Just had a bad dream,
I guess.
1392
01:29:20,880 --> 01:29:21,881
Aw.
1393
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:24,046
STEVIE: Enough with
the sappy crap.
1394
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:25,531
Let's open up
the damn presents.
1395
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,045
Okay. Okay, already.
1396
01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:29,122
Come on, Linda, let's do this.
You wanna help me?
1397
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:32,081
Okay.
1398
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,161
LINDA: Okay.
1399
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:35,846
Merry Christmas, Max.
1400
01:29:35,920 --> 01:29:36,920
HOWARD: Girls.
1401
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:38,724
I got two beverages.
1402
01:29:41,640 --> 01:29:42,680
LINDA: Stevie, sweetheart.
1403
01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:44,561
STEVIE: Thank you, Mom.
1404
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:45,641
TOM: Are you excited?
1405
01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:47,802
SARAH: Jordan.
Should be.
1406
01:29:49,560 --> 01:29:50,800
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
1407
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:51,961
LINDA: Isn't that fun?
1408
01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:54,842
Hey, Maxi-Pad.
Training batting gloves.
1409
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:56,161
(JORDAN LAUGHS)
1410
01:29:56,360 --> 01:29:57,805
TOM: What could
that possibly be?
1411
01:29:58,440 --> 01:29:59,646
Oh, my God!
1412
01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:01,610
LINDA: "Oh, my God," is right.
1413
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:03,120
HOWARD: That's from
me and the girls.
1414
01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,089
I had to reattach the foot.
1415
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:07,322
LINDA: Yeah,
if you look closely,
1416
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:10,131
he did a really good
job of reattaching it.
1417
01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,880
HOWARD: The darn thing,
when we came up on it,
1418
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:14,240
it was trying to chew
its own foot.
1419
01:30:14,320 --> 01:30:15,731
Oh, thank you.
1420
01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:17,569
TOM: This is great.
1421
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,444
You're the best, Howard.
I want travel-size.
1422
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:21,563
Wow. What's
this all about?
1423
01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:24,522
It's nothing. Just...
1424
01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:26,685
Merry Christmas.
1425
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:29,444
SARAH: Merry Christmas
to you, too, Max.
1426
01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:31,363
Merry Christmas, son.
1427
01:30:32,880 --> 01:30:33,881
(EXHALES)
1428
01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:40,121
LINDA: Right?
1429
01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:41,565
TOM: I cannot believe it.
1430
01:30:41,680 --> 01:30:44,160
- This is the best.
- BETH: Oh, my God.
1431
01:30:44,320 --> 01:30:45,810
LINDA: You're very welcome.
1432
01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:47,689
- TOM: Oh, man.
- (LINDA CHUCKLES)
1433
01:30:58,920 --> 01:31:01,571
MAX: I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be.
1434
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:04,249
TOM: That's what
a family is, Max.
1435
01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:06,169
LINDA: Nothing bad's
gonna happen on Christmas, right?
1436
01:31:06,240 --> 01:31:09,608
HOWARD: I just got my ass kicked
by a bunch of Christmas cookies,
1437
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:10,920
so trust me when I
say I can take it!
1438
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:12,929
BETH: "They're why some
people shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
1439
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,770
JORDAN: Do you think
they took Howie
1440
01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,569
because of the time
he painted the cats?
1441
01:31:17,240 --> 01:31:18,924
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
1442
01:31:19,680 --> 01:31:22,524
OMI: And as he had for
thousands of years,
1443
01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:27,764
Krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
1444
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:33,364
Not to give, but to take.
1445
01:31:35,200 --> 01:31:38,044
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)
1446
01:32:23,600 --> 01:32:25,648
(SNARLING AND CACKLING)
1447
01:37:29,080 --> 01:37:30,764
(CREATURES WHOOPING AND CACKLING)
1448
01:37:40,222 --> 01:37:55,666
Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: April 15, 201696951
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