All language subtitles for Fellow.Travelers.S01E08.Make.it.Easy.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H

Tim's organizing his life.

He wants you to have this.

He doesn't want
to hear from you.

Is this milk drinking
a habit of yours?

I think my parents were hoping
it would make me taller.

- Who's my boy?
- I am! I am!

Do I scare you?

Why would you scare me?

I can handle myself.

The question is,
"Can you handle me?"

Mr. McLeod's
our head of security.

We've begun issuing summons

to those reported
or suspected of homosexuality.

Have you ever
considered yourself

to be in love with another male?

Pigs out of the Castro! Pigs...

Trying to get yourself killed?
Come on!

I've loved a man for 20 years

and lived with the consequences.

Do you have any idea what
fucking courage that takes?

Jerome lives with us.

Former student.
Homeless when I met him.

Kimberly, there are things
about your father

I don't understand.

But I loved the life
we made together.

I wish my dad
could be as cool as you.

Your father loves you
the best way he knows how.

Skippy, my boy's dead.

He's dead.

I've wasted all this time.

- No.
- My life on you.

I have to make a quick trip.

Just two or three days.

The rental agent's
coming on Friday.

I'd like you
to be home for that.

I will.

Lucy, you're everything to me.

If I was everything,

you wouldn't be going
where you're going.

You said you know someone
connected to the governor.

Convince him to set up a meeting

with the governor's
chief of staff.

Skippy, I can't make that call.

I have a family.

I have a right to protect them.

And I have a right not to die!

Tim's had another seizure.

It was severe, but they were
able to pull him out of it.

I seem to be always
searching for something

to lose myself in completely.

It's like we say in seminary,

beyond measure.

I have to go.

I have to get over you.

I didn't raise my boy
to be a soldier.

Hawk.

Promise you won't write.

I won't.

Yeah.

It's me.

Lucy.

Yeah, I thought
it was the hospital.

It's been a rough 48 hours.

- Hawk...
- I'm sorry I haven't called.

Hawk.

I'm here.

Where?

San Francisco.

I didn't hear from you.
I was worried.

Is everything all right?
Are the kids okay?

No, nothing like that.
Everyone's fine.

I was worried about you.

I am worried.

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

What about the house?

The movers.

All that's on hold.

I see.

We need to talk.

California Governor
George Deukmejian

is being pressured
by gay rights advocates

to sign legislation
aimed at preventing

AIDS patients from being fired
or denied housing.

Look who's here.

Let's take you for a stroll.

Careful with the scarf.

I don't want to go out
like Isadora.

According to the governor,

compassion for victims of AIDS

is not a sufficient reason

to make a significant change
in existing law.

He says, "There is
too little evidence..."

- Turn it off.
- "...that these groups

face discrimination."

Shame! Shame!

Replenished your supplies.

How're you feeling?

I'm seeing my friend
this afternoon.

The fundraiser, who knows
the governor's chief of staff.

That meeting that you wanted,

that we had the big fight over.

Tim.

I woke up last night,
and I didn't know where I was.

I knew I was in a hospital,
but I couldn't remember.

I didn't know who I was.

Timothy David Laughlin.

That adorable Catholic boy
from Staten Island.

It's not true
what they say about vodka.

I can smell it on you.

Really, Hawk?

10:00 in the morning.

I'll let you know
how it goes with my friend.

You're welcome, by the way.

What's this?

A do-not-resuscitate order.

There's a chance
I could come out

of the next seizure
on life support.

The social worker thinks
I might want to consider.

What?

I'll be back.

What can I get you?

Something for your throat,
a Popsicle?

Sure.

Grape.

I had you pegged for cherry.

Lucy's in town.

She asked if she could see you.

Excuse me.

Tim, I need to change your IV.

Too early for me.

Know where my wife is right now?

I give up.

The Fairmont Hotel.

The one in San Francisco.

I'm glad you think it's funny.

You can't smoke in here, sir.

Christ.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I think Jerome has the virus.

- What?
- He hasn't told me,

but he's been cold to me lately.

I see him whispering
with Frankie.

Why won't he tell me?

Boys.

What about 'em?

Well, they never want to talk
about what's eating at them.

It's up to you
to make the first move.

Before it's too late.

It's not fair.

The kid was just

figuring himself out
when it was spreading.

And here I was, finally settled
and faithful to Frankie.

And you?

What?

Your test?

Negative.

Son of a bitch.

Still bulletproof.

Yeah.

And the kick is wide,

keeping Army in the lead.

We'll pause now
to remind our listeners

that the Red Cross
is working tirelessly

on behalf of thousands
of Hungarian refugees

fleeing the brutal
Soviet invasion.

- Who's winning?
- Army.

Humanitarian effort
by donating...

You're having a big day.

Getting settled
in your new study?

This'll always be
your father's study.

- What's this?
- A telegram.

It just came for you.

Anything to worry about?

No. It's just the boss
dogging me on my day off.

Sweetheart, would you fetch
your hardworking husband a beer?

Happy to.

Thanks.

Mr. Fuller.

Corporal Laughlin.

You broke your promise.

"Promise you won't write."
You wrote.

You sent a telegram.
Very succinct.

"Hawk. The Hungarian refugees.
Do something."

If the Soviets
hadn't invaded Hungary,

I might never have
heard from you.

I was stuck
behind a desk at Fort Polk.

I couldn't do anything,
but I knew someone

at the State Department
who could.

Still fighting
the anti-communism cause.

Yes.

But I didn't expect a job offer.

Well, you don't have
the job yet.

Come on.

- Good afternoon.
- Hello.

When Congress
passed the Relief Act,

we set up this office to process

as many Hungarian refugees
as we can.

How many positions
are you looking to fill?

Right now? Just five.

Your application may take
some time to process.

But a veteran
with your experience

shouldn't have any trouble
getting a security clearance.

And you have
a better-than-average chance

of being selected,
considering you've been

recommended by Mr. Fuller.

He tells me you used to work
for Senator McCarthy.

That's right. Yeah.

Those cowards who censured him
in '54 were wrong.

History will show.

He's a great American.

Looks like that went well.

Hawk, getting
security clearance,

that's McLeod's department.

The M Unit.

Yeah, you don't have
to worry about McLeod.

He's going to be
the ambassador to Ireland.

Exposing perverts pays off.

The M Unit's still in business,

but they're running
out of steam.

Hey.

You excited about the job?

I am.

I don't know how to thank you.

I could think of a few ways.

That's not what I meant.

The last time you and I...

I had to join the Army
to get away from you.

What's next?

The Foreign Legion?

Thanks for your help.

See you.

I'll let you know
when I hear from Osborne.

Thanks.

Just right over there.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

- Here you go, sweetheart.
- Thank you.

- All right. Right there.
- Perfect.

What?

He's kicking.

- Can I...
- Don't be afraid to touch.

Wow.

He?

You're sure it's a boy in there?

I have a hunch.

Doesn't every man want a boy?

I just want you and the baby
to be healthy.

Ma'am?

Right here.

- Oof.
- He's going to town there.

Excuse me.

Where would you like this?

Right there is perfect.

We'll get the rest.

Thank you.

I'm writing speeches
for Representative Sullivan.

Missouri's own.

- She must be a hero of yours.
- She is.

And I intend to run
for her seat someday.

Best part,

I am no longer on the
federal government's payroll,

so no risk of the FBI
raiding my underwear drawer.

And you?
Have you found something?

I've applied for a position
in the Refugee Relief Office.

At State?

And, yes.

Yes, he recommended me.

- Don't worry, he's changed.
- Do people change?

I have. I've stopped worshipping
false idols.

McCarthy, Bishop Sheen.

Even you-know-who.

Aren't you proud of me?

I got a letter last week
from Caroline.

She's married.

Living in Ohio with her husband.

That's her baby.

I wonder sometimes,
when it all happened,

if I had offered
to leave D.C. with her

and find some cottage somewhere.

We could have been
those two eccentric old ladies

that all the busybodies
in town whisper about.

The one with all the cats
and no husbands.

Have you read
The Catcher in the Rye?

There's a line in it.

Something like, "If a kid wants
to grab for the gold ring,

you have to let him do it.

If they fall, they fall."

What's the gold ring?

I don't know
if Salinger would agree,

but I think it's love.

I'm here to see a patient,
Timothy Laughlin.

Room 511, straight ahead.

I don't need to wear gloves,
do I?

No, you're perfectly safe.

Thank you.

May I?

How are you?

I have KS, recurring seizures,

and my hair is falling out.
What else? Um...

My social worker
suggested I sign

a do-not-resuscitate order.
How are you?

The government
ought to do more about this.

It's terrible.

They could do more.

But people like you would
have to pay higher taxes.

My father used to argue for
a national healthcare system.

He believed government should
take care of its citizens.

So do I.

It's not always wise to judge
someone on appearances.

You're right.

This hospital is not
what I expected it to be.

It's the only one
like it in the country,

where people with AIDS
are treated like human beings.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Fuller,
but why are you here?

I don't know.

You mean something
to my husband.

I suppose I had to see you
so I would know.

Know?

How much you mean to him.

Shouldn't you ask him?

Right.

That wouldn't get you anywhere.

No.

My time with Hawk was rushed,
with years in between.

You had him most of his life.

But you were always there.

I could never get away from you.

- It's not a contest.
- Of course it is.

It always has been.

Then why didn't you leave him?

Because we had a good life.

And children.

And then when Jackson...

You don't want to hear this.

Please.

When Jackson died,
it was so unbearable.

The only comfort I had

was knowing that Hawk
understood that suffering,

felt the same way.

If I had had to bear that alone,

I wouldn't have
lived through it.

I should be going.

Mrs. Fuller, thank you

for coming to see me.

It's a favor for a friend.

He'll settle for anyone
on the governor's staff,

but he's really hoping
to meet with Lonigan.

- Howard?
- Yeah.

Your friend's aiming high.

You raise a lot of money
for the governor.

How do you know this friend?

He's actually Lucy's friend.

He just...
He wants to have

a civil conversation
about this disease.

It's killing
an awful lot of people.

Yeah, but it's killing
the wrong people,

or the right people,

depending on how you look at it.

How do you look at it?

Helping kids with cancer
gives you votes and donations.

Fags with AIDS,
who gives a shit?

Besides, they made a choice.

Nobody chooses to get
a terminal disease

because they wanted
to fuck somebody.

God knows, you put your dick
in plenty of holes

back in the day.

Are you taking this personally?

No. Sorry.

Lucy is.
It's just,

I'm trying to keep
the peace at home, you know.

Happy wife, happy life.

It's a big ask, Hawk.

Nobody wants to talk
about freaking AIDS.

- Two of them.
- Just the bill, baby?

Oof.

She's young.

What can I say?
I like it tight.

Yep. That reminds me

of that congressman's aide
at the Republican Convention.

What was that, 1980?

Didn't security take her
out of your room

in the middle of the night

because the two of you
were shit faced

- and making so much noise?
- Yeah.

Christ.

Did Linda ever
find out about that?

That's low, Hawk.

Even for you.

I'll see what I can do
to help Lucy's friend,

but don't get your hopes up.

Thousands appeared
to pay their respects

to Senator Joseph McCarthy,
who died of hepatitis

at Bethesda Naval
Hospital on Thursday.

Some 70 senators,
Vice President Nixon

and FBI Director Hoover
were in attendance.

Tomorrow, McCarthy's body
will be moved

to St. Matthew's Cathedral
for a Requiem Mass.

Sorry.

Present arms!

Rest in peace.

You served
our country well, sir.

Rest in peace, Senator.

God bless you, sir.

You're Mr. Fuller's friend.

That's right.
Do I know you?

Cocksucker!

You don't belong here.

Get out of here!

Hey, hey, careful.

Hey. I had a hunch
you'd be here.

Come on.

Lucy made me
give up my apartment,

so I use this place.

We inherited it after one of
Lucy's great uncles passed.

We plan to sell in the fall,

after we've settled
with the baby.

What do you do here, exactly?

Read, listen to music.

What a man does when he gets
the chance to be alone.

Alone?

I'm the epitome
of marital fidelity.

Can I get you a beer?

Sure.

There's milk,
if you change your mind.

Charles Mingus.

Yeah, Lucy hates jazz.

It's Brahms or Cole Porter
at our house.

Although I suspect,
when I'm not home,

she puts on
that Elvis character.

Cheers.

You're happy.

Happy within reason.

So, tell me
what's bothering you.

You can't be grieving
for Tail Gunner Joe.

At the end, I saw McCarthy
for what he was.

A rabble rouser, demagogue.

So why do I feel like
I've lost someone?

Because you knew him.

And you're a decent person.

He believed in something.
He had ideals.

And even if they were misguided,
he held them with passion.

I used to have
passion like that.

Does the bathroom work?

Yeah, it's... down there.

The epitome of marital fidelity.

I try.

You bring men here?

You'd be the first.

Don't believe you.

Shut up and drink your milk.

The Army made a man
out of my Skippy.

- Yeah, it did.
- Yeah.

He's all grown up now.

I am.

I want you to fuck me.

Shit!

God!

I'll check with Osborne
about your application.

Is that a bribe?

To get me to come back?

Do I have to bribe you
to come back?

No.

I knew this was going to happen
the minute I opened your letter.

Leave a message for me at the Y.

I'll meet you here
whenever you want.

Better.

I'll leave the key
on the frame above the door.

Come when you like.

I promise
I won't be any trouble.

I don't have any expectations.

I have plenty.

I can't find it, Hawk.

I think it's at the cleaner's.

It's okay, Luce.
I'll wear the light blue.

Wait. Here it is.

I might have to
give it a quick press.

What?

I'm going
to give it a quick press.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Fuck.

- May I come in?
- Of course.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Would you like a soda?

Thanks.

So you...

You talked to Tim.

I did.

I'm sorry that I've been away
for so long.

I shouldn't have
left you hanging.

I know that the move's
been stressful.

If we have to,

we'll push things back
a week or two.

I'll let the office know.
I'll make some excuse.

I'm not moving to Italy.

What are you talking about?

I'm not moving.

The kids are in D.C.

My life is there.

I have to go to Italy.

- It's my job.
- I know.

But I'm not going with you.

I can't.

Okay. Then I won't go.

You don't understand.

- I'll put in for retirement.
- Hawk...

- And you and I can make...
- Hawk.

When you first came out here,
I didn't mind.

Tim means something to you.

You deserve a chance
to say goodbye.

And I thought...

God forgive me.

When he dies, it will be over.

The two of you.

And you and I
can have our life together

in a way we never had it.

Free of him.

But now I know

it will never be over.

I'll fly home tomorrow,
if that's what you want.

- That's not...
- Today. Whatever you need.

No, Hawk. Stop.

You have
unfinished business here.

You need to see it through.

Come home when you're ready,
but when you do,

I don't think I'll be there.

I have to leave for the airport.

I moved up my flight.

I will stay with Kimberly
and Mark for a while.

You're not going to throw away

thirty years of marriage
just like that.

We have a family.

- Grandbabies.
- What about desire?

Like the kind you had for Tim.

- Lucy...
- I have lived my whole life

not knowing what it's like
to be desired.

Do you have any idea
how lonely that's been?

Look, we are going
to work this out.

We always do.

Goodbye, Hawk.

Luce.

Luce.

That's game.

Run it back. Your ball.

Jerome.

Take it out!

What's going on with you?

You've been avoiding me.

I can't get more than
two words out of you.

- Just fucking play.
- No.

What's going on with you?
Tell me what's wrong.

- Nothing.
- Tell me what's wrong.

- Nothing.
- Cut the bullshit.

I'm fucking positive!

You happy now?

Don't. Just... don't.

- I'm sorry.
- It's not...

- It's not about you.
- It is about me.

It's about you, it's about me.

Don't you understand that
by now?

I was so fucking stupid.

It's my fault.

I... I shouldn't have
fucked around.

I should have been more careful.

- Stupid.
- No, no, no.

- It's too fucking...
- You're young.

You have the right to explore.

You're Black in a country

that will try to convince you
you ain't shit.

You're gay, and your own people
may never accept you.

But listen to me, and hear this.

You're innocent.

You are...

innocent.

Say it.

Go on, say it.

- I'm innocent.
- You're innocent.

- I'm innocent.
- You're innocent.

You're innocent.

I'm innocent.

- I'm innocent.
- You're innocent.

Innocent.
You're innocent.

You're innocent.

Paul's the social one,
believe it or not.

Well, he loves to dance.

We used to dance all the time.

Paul's a terrific dancer.

Did we get the meeting?

It doesn't look good.

We took tango lessons.

We were one of two gay couples
in the class.

No one cared.

That's San Francisco.

How long have you two
been together?

Seventeen years.

We were...
We were babies when we met.

I don't know if it was love
at first sight,

but we met in college

and moved in together
right away.

We haven't been apart
for more than a week since.

It's funny.

What?

When I get that job...

we'll be colleagues.

We'll see each other every day.

Skippy.

Skippy.

What?

You were making noises.

I was worried.

- I'm okay.
- All right.

I'm cold.

- Hawk.
- Yeah?

Hawk,
the do-not-resuscitate-order...

I'm not gonna sign it.

If something happens to me,
I want them to bring me back.

I wanna fight.

Good.

I'm glad.

- I'll get the nurse.
- No. Don't.

Don't go.

Here.

It's all right, buddy.

That better?

Yeah.

I feel like I'm fading away.

I'm disappearing
a little every day.

No, I'm here.

I've got you.

I've got you.

Come on, Dave.

I can't get Lonigan
to meet with your friend.

Listen, if this was
about the joke I made,

I was just kidding around.

AIDS is a touchy issue
for the governor right now.

Look, there's this thing,
a fundraiser gala.

I could get you
a couple tickets.

- When?
- Friday night.

Lonigan'll be there.

I can arrange for you to have
five minutes with him.

Maybe he'll agree to see
Lucy's friend at some point.

At some point?
No, that's not good enough.

I promised him, Dave!

You don't understand.

I owe him.

It's the best I can do.

You said Lucy was in town.
Bring her.

Skippy.

I don't suppose
you happen to own a tuxedo.

Roy Cohn,
the lawyer and right-hand man

to the late
Senator Joseph McCarthy

during the infamous Red Scare
of the 1950s, is dead.

Cohn died today in Bethesda,
Maryland, at the age of 59.

The causes were a heart attack
and complications

from the HTLV-III virus,
which is thought to cause AIDS.

The last two decades
of his career were marred...

Roy Cohn died.

Guess that fucker
was human after all.

What do you think?

It's just about Tim's size.

Got this too.

Not officially black tie, but...

What?

It's always been you.

Me?

You've always been
the stronger one.

Always.

He told you?

It's gonna be okay.

I... I just don't want
to let him down.

You won't, baby.

We won't.

We're here.

Do you think Hawk has any idea
what he's getting into?

Not a clue.

Almost there.

There. You okay?

- All right.
- There he is, big guy.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

Lucy.

Hey.

What are you doing home?

Well, your mother
left word for me.

- The doctor was here?
- I had a little scare,

but it turned out to be nothing.

Helen said you'd been
feeling ill all week.

You know how she exaggerates.

I'm uncomfortable,
but that's natural,

and it's only a few hours a day.

You never said anything.

I tried you at the office
but you were out.

- Yesterday?
- Yesterday.

And the day before.

I'm fine.

It's a woman's job
to worry about the baby.

You have your work, I have mine.

Go on.
Go back to the office.

Shoo.

All right.

I'll see you at dinner, then.

Of course.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Fuller.
Senate Affairs.

That's right.

What can I do for you?

It's about a fellow
who's getting close to a job

in the Hungarian
Refugee Relief program.

His name?

Timothy Laughlin.

And the issue is?

He's got a few problems
in the area

you once questioned me about.

Osborne's office
sent me this letter.

I don't satisfy
their security considerations.

You know what that means?
Somebody's told them that...

Shh. Calm down.

Honest, Mary. Mary?

I don't understand.

I have lived a perfectly
clean life in the Army.

There isn't a soul
in Washington who knows.

It was Hawkins.

No, that's impossible.

He came to see me last night.

He wanted me to tell you.

That's why
I invited you to lunch.

He reported you to the M Unit.

I don't understand.

He wanted to do it now
before you got the job,

so there won't be
an investigation.

They'll just...
You will be...

Be banned from working
for the federal government

for the rest of my life.

He knew how much
I wanted that job.

Why?

You'd become inconvenient.

No.

- He isn't like that.
- He is.

He is exactly like that.

- I have to see him.
- You can't.

Lucy went into labor.

They've been
at Sibley Memorial all night.

Thanks.

Here you go.

What?

It feels like we're on a date.

I should warn you,
I may make a pass.

A girl can hope, can't she?

Parts?

There's Dave.

You ready?

Yeah.

All right, all right.

Nice to see you.
So glad you could come.

Enjoy the evening.

- Dave.
- Hawk.

Lucy couldn't make it,
so I brought the friend

I was telling you about.

Dave Holm.
Tim Laughlin.

Nice to meet you.

We're looking forward
to meeting Mr. Lonigan.

Maybe even the governor,
if he makes an appearance.

- I'm not sure Howard's here.
- He's right there.

Right.

Well, I don't want
to interrupt him right now.

Maybe later. But,
I can't make any promises.

Dave, he came all this way
to meet Lonigan...

- It's fine.
- We're not leaving.

It's fine.

We'll wait.

I'm gonna get some air.

Look, Hawk,

the governor's gonna veto
the AIDS bill anyway,

so introducing
Lucy's friend to Lonigan,

it's a waste of time.

- No hard feelings.
- Me?

None.

- Just to be clear...
- What the fuck?

Tim isn't Lucy's friend.

He's my friend.

He just got out of the hospital.

I was there with him
the whole time.

I climbed into his bed
and held him.

Great party, Dave.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Skippy.

A long time ago,
I did something to hurt you.

And I think, even being
in your life hurt you

- in some way.
- Hawk.

You don't have...

I spent most of my life
waiting for God to love me.

And then I realized
the only thing that matters

is I love God.

It's the same with you.

I have loved you my whole life.

I've never loved anyone but you.

You were
my great, consuming love.

And most people
don't get one of those.

I did.

I have no regrets.

Would you look at that?

In public, and the world
didn't come to an end.

Tim.

What are you doing here?

I'll take your badge.

Marcus is going inside with me.

He needs your badge to get in.

I don't understand.

I knew Lonigan
would refuse to see us.

And we'd never
get close to the Governor.

And then...

I invited you to the gala.

I mean, it was very convenient.

I think I've been used.

A little.

All right.

Hey. Give us a minute?

Look, whatever you're up to,

and I don't want to know
all the details,

I'll wait for you.

No. You need to go home.

Where you belong.

No.

It's not...

I want to stay.

I have to fight this fight.

That means
letting go of everything else.

And if you're around,
I will not be able to let go.

But I wanna show up for you.

Go home, Hawk.

Please.

Make it easy for me.

Hey, Skippy.

Promise you won't write.

I won't.

Thank you.

I'm honored to be representing

Governor Deukmejian tonight,

a candidate who can lead
this party and this state

into the 21st century.

Governor Deukmejian is grateful

for your support tonight,
ladies and gentlemen.

And I hope you will do
everything you can

to help keep him in his seat
as California's governor.

Your help is essential

in securing the gains we've made

and keeping this great state
moving forward.

And our governor is a champion

of the opportunity
society of the future.

The Fullers.
They just had a baby. Where...

Mr. Fuller
went home to change,

and I believe
Mrs. Fuller is resting.

All right, one moment.
Let me go and check.

- Let's go.
- Governor Deukmejian

is grateful...

- Excuse me. Gentleman...
- Get it.

- I got it.
- Excuse me.

What are you people doing?

This way, sir.

I got it. Here.

- All right.
- Yes. Got it.

- Ready?
- Yes.

Three thousand Californians
with HIV have died.

But Governor Deukmejian

continues to veto legislation
to protect us.

We're not dying from AIDS,

we're dying from indifference.

Our government is killing us!

AIDS funding now!

Our government is killing us!

AIDS funding now!

Our government is killing us!

AIDS funding now!

Lucy.

Our government is killing us!
AIDS funding now!

Our government is killing us!

AIDS funding now!

Dad?

You found him?

It's beautiful.

From what you've told me,
it really suits your friend.

Yeah.

It does.

Sweetheart.

He wasn't my friend.

He was the man I loved.

>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
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