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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,615 [SIGHING DEEPLY] 2 00:00:13,648 --> 00:00:16,985 OH, WILL THIS NEVER END? 3 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,420 WE'VE BEEN WAITING IN LINE FOR A MONTH! 4 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,724 DICK, DO RECALL NINA AND I EVEN INVITING YOU? 5 00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:24,593 WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S A KISSING BOOTH AT THE END. 6 00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,561 THAT'S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 7 00:00:26,595 --> 00:00:28,296 THERE'S NO KISSING BOOTH AT THE END. 8 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,264 AND I SPECIFICALLY SAID, "DON'T COME. 9 00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:33,434 YOU'LL BE BORED, AND YOU'LL ANNOY US." 10 00:00:34,569 --> 00:00:37,005 OH, GOD! I NEED CAFFEINE OR I'M GOING TO FALL ASLEEP. 11 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,741 UH, NINA, BE A LAMB AND FETCH ME A CAPPUCCINO. 12 00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:43,111 I'M HERE TO GET CLAIRE VOLK TO SIGN MY BOOK AND THAT'S ALL. 13 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:46,280 WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH CLAIRE VOLK AND HER SIGNATURE? 14 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,718 IT CAN'T BE HEALTHY. IT C BE HEALTHY! 15 00:00:49,751 --> 00:00:50,919 CLAIRE VOLK'S FIRST BOOK 16 00:00:50,952 --> 00:00:52,587 TAUGHT ME TO LOVE MYSELF 17 00:00:52,621 --> 00:00:55,156 DURING SOME REALLY ROUGH TIMES. 18 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,058 SHE'S A FULLY ACTUALIZED PERSON 19 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,093 WITH SO MUCH TO SHARE. 20 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,729 THERE ARE 2 THINGS I'M CERTAIN ABOUT. 21 00:01:00,762 --> 00:01:02,230 SHE IS NOT FULLY ACTUALIZED, 22 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,566 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 23 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,369 THERE ISN'T A HUMAN BEING ALIVE 24 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,671 THAT COULDN'T BENEFIT FROM THIS BOOK. 25 00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,806 OH. HERE, LET ME SEE IT. 26 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,676 "A ROAD MAP TO PERMANENT HAPPINESS." 27 00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:15,977 I'LL GIVE THE INTRO A SKIM 28 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,012 AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH MY THOUGHTS. 29 00:01:18,046 --> 00:01:20,248 UH! BALONEY. 30 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,282 CRAP. 31 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,051 NONSENSE. 32 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,585 MORE CRAP. 33 00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:28,556 INTERESTING. 34 00:01:29,658 --> 00:01:31,525 HMM. 35 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:32,761 NEXT. 36 00:01:32,794 --> 00:01:34,595 HI. I'M MARY ALBRIGHT 37 00:01:34,629 --> 00:01:35,697 AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME-- 38 00:01:35,730 --> 00:01:37,531 MISS VOLK! 39 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,500 IN THE LAST FEW FEET OF THIS LINE 40 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,470 YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. 41 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,639 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SIGN YOUR BOOK? 42 00:01:44,673 --> 00:01:47,541 BOOK, NOTHING! SIGN MY BREAST. 43 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,549 AND SEE IF YOU CAN USE THE NIPPLE TO DOT THE "I". 44 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:34,655 COME ON. I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT. 45 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:37,892 OHH. I LOVE YOU, TOO. 46 00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:40,261 WELL, WHO WAS THAT? 47 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,130 TOMMY. 48 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,433 HOW'S HE DOING AT COLLEGE? 49 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:48,569 OH, TERRIBLE. HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A FRATERNITY 50 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:53,341 AND BEING HAZED BY GREEKS AND IT'S HELL WEEK. 51 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,675 HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT. 52 00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:56,711 HELL WEEK? HELL WEEK? 53 00:02:56,745 --> 00:02:58,412 HE COULD BE IN MORTAL DANGER. 54 00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,914 FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY MEETING! 55 00:02:59,948 --> 00:03:01,950 LOOK, DICK. I CAN'T. I GOT TO GET UP TO TOMMY'S SCHOOL. 56 00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:03,051 HE COULD BE DEAD ALREADY. 57 00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:03,852 NOW? 58 00:03:03,885 --> 00:03:06,988 BUT I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY NEW BOOK. 59 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,823 LISTEN TO ME. I WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP TOMMY 60 00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:11,259 OR ANY MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY FROM BEING KILLED 61 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,894 EVEN IF IT MEANS KILLING YOU 62 00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:15,830 OR ANY MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY. 63 00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:22,336 HARRY, ALL THROUGH OUR TUMULTUOUS EXISTENCE 64 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,437 ON THIS PLANET, 65 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:26,607 WE HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED BY OUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. 66 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,609 MMM. THAT'S SO TRUE. I GOT TO RUN. 67 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,478 [SPUTTERING] 68 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,512 ARE YOU HAPPY? 69 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:31,980 YES. 70 00:03:32,013 --> 00:03:32,781 REALLY HAPPY? 71 00:03:32,814 --> 00:03:33,481 YES. 72 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,117 REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY? 73 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,219 NO. 74 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:41,522 WITH THIS BOOK, WE ARE GOING TO MASTER OUR EMOTIONS. 75 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,657 NO MORE UPS AND DOWNS, ONLY UPS. 76 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,427 FROM NOW ON, THE QUEST FOR PERMA-HAPPINESS 77 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,463 MUST BE OUR FIRST AND OUR ONLY PRIORITY. 78 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,867 CALM, CALM. HAPPY, HAPPY. 79 00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:56,670 OK. I PAID TO GET THAT LEAK IN THE KITCHEN ROOF FIXED. 80 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,439 NOW ONE OF YOU GOT TO GO UP AND PAINT THE CEILING 81 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:02,944 OR I'M KEEPING YOUR SECURITY DEPOSIT. 82 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:06,781 OK, HARRY, YOU PAINT THE CEILING, I'LL GET HAPPY FOR BOTH OF US. 83 00:04:10,952 --> 00:04:13,955 TOMMY! TOM-- 84 00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:15,924 OH, MY GOD, TOMMY. 85 00:04:15,957 --> 00:04:19,293 THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU INTO THINKING THE FLOOR IS YOUR TEETH. 86 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,728 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 87 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,430 OK. I CAME TO SAVE YOUR ASS. 88 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:26,567 NOW, JUMP ON MY BACK AND I'M GOING TO BUST YOU OUT OF THIS DEATHTRAP. 89 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,768 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 90 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:32,306 HELL WEEK. YOU TOLD HARRY YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT. 91 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,375 DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 92 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,010 TOMMY? 93 00:04:36,044 --> 00:04:37,078 TOMMY, ARE YOU IN THERE? 94 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,848 SALLY! I MEANT I WAS AFRAID 95 00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:42,250 I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT INTO THE FRAT. 96 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:47,255 THE FRAT. RIGHT. OK. 97 00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:51,559 WELL, THAT WAS WORTH A 4-HOUR BUS RIDE. 98 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,162 SALLY, THIS PLACE HAS THE BEST PARTIES, 99 00:04:54,195 --> 00:04:59,033 THE NICEST GIRLS, AND SOME OF THE SKANKIEST GIRLS. 100 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,002 WHICH IS WHY THE FRAT BROTHERS 101 00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,171 ARE PUTTING US THROUGH A SERIES OF TESTS... 102 00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:05,273 TO MAKE SURE NONE OF THE WEENY GEEKS GET IN. 103 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:10,511 OH, I SEE. SO YOU'RE WORRIED 'CAUSE YOU'RE A WEENY GEEK. 104 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,114 NO! I MERELY HAVE SOME CONCERNS 105 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:18,853 THAT THE FRAT SELECTION PROCESS MIGHT NOT BE SCIENTIFIC. 106 00:05:18,887 --> 00:05:19,653 I JUST WISH I KNEW 107 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,423 WHAT THE PLEDGEMASTER HAS PLANNED. 108 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,460 TOMMY, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU HERE. 109 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,430 AS IT HAPPENS, I'M NOT JUST A MASTER OF ESCAPE, 110 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:33,834 BUT I AM ALSO A MASTER OF GETTING INTO PLACES 111 00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:40,774 AND...SNEAKILY SECRET FINDING. 112 00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:42,676 INFILTRATION? 113 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,512 THANK YOU. INFILTRATION. 114 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,348 OH, YEAH. YOU'RE NOT A GEEK. 115 00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:52,753 OH, DICK. I CAN'T BELIEVE 116 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,388 HOW INTO THIS BOOK YOU ARE. 117 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:57,091 IT'S WONDERFUL. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. 118 00:05:57,125 --> 00:06:00,461 OH, THANK YOU, MARY. NOW, CLAIRE VOLK SAYS THAT I DON'T NEED 119 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,496 ANY AFFIRMATION BUT MY OWN, 120 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,766 SO I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT I SAID THAT. 121 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:10,204 NOW. THE BOOK SAYS THAT STEP ONE TO PERMA-HAPPINESS 122 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,373 IS THE FORGIVENESS CEREMONY. 123 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,141 SO, AHEM. 124 00:06:13,174 --> 00:06:13,874 SHOULD I GO FIRST? 125 00:06:13,908 --> 00:06:17,278 NO, NO, NO. I'VE BEEN SAVING UP. 126 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:23,517 I FORGIVE NINA FOR EATING MY LUNCH TODAY. 127 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:27,355 DICK, NINA DID THAT BECAUSE YOU ATE HER LUNCH. 128 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,123 MARY, IS THIS A FORGIVENESS CEREMONY 129 00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:32,560 OR A WHO ATE NINA'S LUNCH INQUISITION? 130 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:33,861 YOUR TURN. 131 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,629 I FORGIVE... 132 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,967 MY MOTHER FOR MAKING A MESS OF MY CHILDHOOD. 133 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:39,733 UH! 134 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,370 BUT YOU'RE STILL MAD. I CAN TELL. 135 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,505 IT'S DICK, ONE. MARY, ZERO. 136 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:45,873 DICK, THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION. 137 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,141 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING. 138 00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:49,543 OK. IT'S--IT'S MY TURN. 139 00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:53,114 I FORGIVE YOU, MARY... 140 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:56,250 FOR THOSE 5 POUNDS YOU PUT ON LAST CHRISTMAS. 141 00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:56,850 DICK! 142 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:57,918 NO, NO. 143 00:06:57,952 --> 00:06:58,652 IT'S DONE. 144 00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:01,222 COME ON. YOUR TURN. 145 00:07:03,124 --> 00:07:05,526 I FORGIVE... 146 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,195 THE WORLD... 147 00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:08,562 FOR ITS CAPRICIOUS-- 148 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:09,597 THAT MAKES ME THINK OF ONE. 149 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,899 NO, YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 150 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:12,900 FORGIVE ME? 151 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:13,934 YES, BUT-- 152 00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:16,637 OK, THEN IT'S MY TURN AGAIN. 153 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:24,512 I FORGIVE THE WORLD FOR ITS CAPRICIOUS... 154 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,116 WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO PUT ON THE END OF THAT, MARY? 155 00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:30,551 OH, DICK, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THIS THING SEPARATELY. 156 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,054 THE THINGS I'M TRYING TO FORGIVE ARE SNOWBALLING ON ME HERE. 157 00:07:33,087 --> 00:07:34,355 BUT, MARY! 158 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:35,956 I WAS GOING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR SNORING, 159 00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:37,525 FOR--FOR CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN, 160 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,693 AND FOR A LOUD PHONE VOICE. 161 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,195 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MISS ALL THAT? 162 00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:42,896 I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. 163 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:43,731 COME ON, MARY. 164 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,999 NO, NO. JUST GO AWAY. 165 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:46,234 IMPATIENCE, TOO. 166 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:48,069 NO, GET OUT. 167 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:51,505 I FORGIVE YOU. 168 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,974 GET OUT! 169 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:01,715 HEY, HARRY. 170 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,384 HERE'S THE PAINT AND BRUSHES FROM WHEN 171 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:05,519 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME PAINT MY APARTMENT. 172 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:08,222 HMM. THANKS FOR HURRYING OVER TO HELP ME, NINA. 173 00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:10,091 HELP NOTHIN'. I CAME TO GET MY HUNDRED BUCKS BACK 174 00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:13,261 FROM WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME PAINT MY APARTMENT. 175 00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:14,695 YEAH. HOW'D THAT GO? 176 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,397 WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP-- 177 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,898 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 178 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,567 I GOT A CEILING TO PAINT, 179 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,437 SO EITHER PAY ME THE HUNDRED BUCKS YOU OWE ME OR GET OUT. 180 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:27,241 NO, YOU OWE ME, SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SO FIRED UP ABOUT? 181 00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:29,377 WELL, IT'S NOT EVERYDAY THAT DICK GIVES ME AN ASSIGNMENT. 182 00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:31,545 AND I WANT TO PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO IT. 183 00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,881 YOU KNOW? MAKE IT A LABOR OF LOVE. 184 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,483 HARRY, IT'S A CEILING. 185 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,017 PICK A COLOR AND SLAP IT ON. 186 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:38,986 I CAN'T JUST PICK ANY COLOR! 187 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,356 IT'D HAVE TO SPEAK TO ME. 188 00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:46,760 IT'D HAVE TO REFLECT THE GOLDEN RAYS OF SUNLIGHT OFF MY CHEERIOS IN THE MORNING 189 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:52,333 OR STIR MY INTEREST AS I STARE UP AT IT WHILE DICK'S TALKING. 190 00:08:56,404 --> 00:08:57,138 HI! 191 00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:59,640 HI THERE. HI. 192 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,242 YOU KNOW, I WAS WALKING ACROSS CAMPUS 193 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,843 ON MY WAY TO A CAMPUS BUILDING, 194 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:07,581 AND I THOUGHT I'D JUST SWING BY AND ASK YOU WHAT YOUR HAZING RITUALS WERE. 195 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,317 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 196 00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:11,018 I'VE TAKEN A SOLEMN VOW 197 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,921 NEVER TO REVEAL THE SECRETS OF THIS PLEDGE BOOK. 198 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,623 YOU TELL ME, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU. 199 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,326 LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH IT. 200 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,753 WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! 201 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,789 HOW CAN PAINT THAT TASTES THIS GOOD 202 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,359 LOOK THIS BAD? 203 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,931 ALL RIGHT, LINE UP! COME ON. LINE UP! 204 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:01,034 OK, LADIES, WE'VE GOT A NEW ASSISTANT PLEDGEMASTER. 205 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,336 HER NAME'S SALLY. 206 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:05,773 WELL, STAN IS HALF-RIGHT. MY NAME IS SALLY, 207 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:09,277 BUT FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL ALL KNOW ME AS... 208 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,978 OW! OW! OW! 209 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:14,682 THAT'S RIGHT. SALLY OW OW OW! 210 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:15,816 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 211 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:16,784 I'M BUCKY. 212 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,353 OH, MY GOD. YOUR PARENTS ARE SO CRUEL, 213 00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:21,689 BUT GUESS WHAT? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET. 214 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,356 AAH! 215 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,691 ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 216 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,058 I'M JIM. 217 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:25,759 NOT ANYMORE. 218 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,528 FROM NOW ON, YOUR NAME IS ROSE 219 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,663 AND YOU'RE A 78-YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER. 220 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:34,202 GO RUN 6 MILES WITH A WALKER. GO, GO, GO! 221 00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:35,303 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, TOMMY? 222 00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,438 I'M TOMMY. 223 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,642 Stan: EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME! 224 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,776 DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 225 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,946 UH, NO, NOT AT ALL. I NEVER MET HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 226 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,881 NO SPECIAL TREATMENT HERE. 227 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,750 SHE'LL TREAT ME EXACTLY LIKE SHE TREATS EVERYONE ELSE 228 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,119 SHE DOESN'T KNOW, RIGHT? 229 00:10:52,553 --> 00:10:53,921 THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, RIGHT? 230 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:54,988 YEAH. 231 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:55,789 OK. 232 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:56,257 REALLY? 233 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,492 [WHISPERING] Yes! 234 00:10:58,526 --> 00:10:59,727 ALL RIGHT, GOOD. 235 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,096 ONE QUESTION. YOU WEARING BOXERS OR BRIEFS? 236 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,632 BOXERS. 237 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:08,236 WRONG ANSWER. AAH! 238 00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:17,278 MARY, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT 239 00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:19,380 I'M DEEP INTO STEP 2. 240 00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:20,581 I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ELIMINATED 241 00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:22,650 ALL THE NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE-- 242 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:25,619 JUDITH, STRUDWICK, THE CHANCELLOR. 243 00:11:25,653 --> 00:11:27,555 I'VE EVEN STOPPED YELLING AT THE LITTLE VOICE 244 00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:28,822 THAT COMES OUT OF THE CLOWN'S HEAD 245 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,259 WHEN I'M AT THE DRIVE-THROUGH. 246 00:11:31,292 --> 00:11:33,126 WOW, YOU'VE REALLY GROWN! 247 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,363 YES, I HAVE, MARY. 248 00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:37,365 I'M ALMOST PERMA-HAPPY DICK. 249 00:11:37,398 --> 00:11:39,300 OHH! 250 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:41,402 ANYWAY, YOU'RE HISTORY. 251 00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:43,036 WHAT? 252 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:43,904 YEAH, YOU'RE GONE. 253 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,506 I CAN'T BE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. 254 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:49,076 TOO MANY UPS AND DOWNS. 255 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,178 YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF THIS BOOK? 256 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,914 YEAH. I'M AFRAID SO. 257 00:11:58,252 --> 00:12:00,421 NO. 258 00:12:01,355 --> 00:12:02,323 I KNOW IT'S HARD, MARY. 259 00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:05,025 NO, IT'S NOT HARD, DICK. IT'S JUST NOT HAPPENING. 260 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,360 WHAT? 261 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:10,698 WELL, WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM THIS BOOK IS THAT 262 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:17,338 "ON THE FERRIS WHEEL OF LIFE, I AM THE CARNY HOLDING THE THROTTLE." 263 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,308 I CHOOSE NOT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. 264 00:12:20,341 --> 00:12:21,442 REALLY? 265 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,910 CAN YOU DO THAT? 266 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,445 YEAH. 267 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:25,879 YEAH. I MEAN, I THINK "YOU HAVE A TENDENCY 268 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,316 "TO UNDERESTIMATE THE-- THE SICKNESS 269 00:12:28,349 --> 00:12:30,918 OF THE CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP," 270 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:34,888 AND WE'RE IN ONE, MISTER, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 271 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,057 WELL, IN THAT CASE, I NEED TO, UH... 272 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,393 "STEP OFF THE DESPERATION TREADMILL 273 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,662 "AND FROLIC THROUGH THE FOREST OF SOLITUDE 274 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:45,132 WITH MY SELF ELF." 275 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,735 SELF ELF?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 276 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:48,836 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, 277 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,872 IT IS THE SPRIGHTLY INNER HAPPINESS THAT YOU ACHIEVE 278 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:55,075 WHEN YOU SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE SELF, 279 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,044 BUT YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU'D READ THE BOOK. 280 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,812 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM. 281 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,013 Dick: CALM, CALM. HAPPY, HAPPY. 282 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,082 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM. 283 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,617 CALM, CALM, HAPPY, HAPPY! I'M AT THE HELM. 284 00:13:03,651 --> 00:13:05,653 I'M AT THE HELM. I'M AT THE HELM! 285 00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:11,859 GRANDMA ROSE, GET ME ANOTHER BEER 286 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,795 YES PLEDGE MASTER SALLY! 287 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,336 PERMISSION TO SPEAK WITH THE ASSISTANT PLEDGE MASTER 288 00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,004 AND PUT THIS THING DOWN? 289 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,374 DENIED AND DENIED. 290 00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:29,009 COME ON SALLY! 291 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,012 OH! 292 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,080 THAT IS HIGHLY UNSEEMING. 293 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,181 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 294 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,248 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME OUT 295 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,450 THAT IS WHAT I'M DOING. 296 00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,951 I'M HELPING YOU BUILD CHARACTER. 297 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,020 I JUST WANT YOU TO HELP ME GET INTO THIS FRAT. 298 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:40,754 AND YOU WILL. 299 00:13:40,788 --> 00:13:41,622 I WILL? 300 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,123 OH, YEAH! IF YOU GET THROUGH HELL WEEK. 301 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,658 IF I GET THROUGH? 302 00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:45,493 TOMMY, LISTEN TO ME. 303 00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:47,194 I TOOK AN OATH HERE, OK? 304 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:52,265 I MUST UPHOLD THIS FRATERNITY'S HALLOWED TRADITIONS. 305 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,735 I THINK YOU'RE JUST ON A POWER TRIP. 306 00:13:56,504 --> 00:13:58,972 THAT'S A BIT DISRESPECTFUL, PLEBE. 307 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,073 WELL, GUESS WHAT? 308 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,875 I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU. 309 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,377 MAYBE NOT, 310 00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:05,278 BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF-- 311 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,980 ME. 312 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,449 MAYBE SO, 313 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:09,650 BUT ANYTHING YOU PUT ME THROUGH 314 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,718 ONLY MAKES ME STRONGER. 315 00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:12,886 OK, SO YOU'RE SUPPORTING MY INITIAL ARGUMENT. 316 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,221 THEN I RECANT. 317 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,623 IF YOU RECANT, THEN YOU QUIT. 318 00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:16,790 THEN I QUIT. 319 00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,091 OH, YOU ARE SUCH A COWARD. 320 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,193 YOU NEVER DESERVED TO BE IN THIS FRATERNITY. 321 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,061 OH, REALLY? 322 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,496 WELL, HIT ME WITH EVERYTHING YOU GOT. 323 00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:23,731 20 PUSHUPS NOW! 324 00:14:23,764 --> 00:14:24,765 HOW ABOUT 10? 325 00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:28,235 I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! 326 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,078 JEEZ, AREN'T YOU DONE YET? 327 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,481 MADAME, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME. 328 00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:43,984 DID YOUR REPUTATION AS A GIN-SOAKED GOOD TIME GIRL 329 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,819 HAPPEN OVERNIGHT? 330 00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:48,989 NO, IT HAPPENED OVER SEVERAL NIGHTS. 331 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:53,160 AND IT REALLY STUCK AFTER THAT CONVENTION. 332 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:56,163 LOOK, I DON'T NEED YOU NAGGING ME, OK, 333 00:14:56,196 --> 00:15:00,233 WHEN THIS HAS BEEN MOCKING ME DAY AND NIGHT! 334 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,102 STOP IT! 335 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,437 SHUT UP! 336 00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,305 YOU SHUT UP! 337 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,808 WHAT'S THAT? I DIDN'T THINK I HEARD YA! 338 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:08,842 EEW! 339 00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:10,444 EEW! 340 00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:13,947 WHOA! 341 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,584 IT'S FINISHED. 342 00:15:16,617 --> 00:15:18,786 HEY, THAT--THAT'S GOOD. 343 00:15:18,819 --> 00:15:22,122 SO YOU GOING TO PAINT THE GARAGE NEXT? 344 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,791 IMPOSSIBLE. 345 00:15:23,824 --> 00:15:26,494 I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE. 346 00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:35,302 AHEM! 347 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,770 UH-UH, NO, NO. 348 00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:39,473 JUST THE ONE. 349 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,315 HEY, GOOD-LOOKING. 350 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,017 HAVING A GOOD TIME? 351 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,052 OF COURSE. 352 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,988 QUITE A DIFFERENCE, EH? 353 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,625 NOW THAT YOU'VE ELIMINATED ALL THE PROBLEM PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, 354 00:15:57,658 --> 00:16:00,828 ONLY THE HAPPY ELITE REMAINS--YOU... 355 00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,696 AND ME. 356 00:16:03,731 --> 00:16:05,298 I GUESS. 357 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,467 IS SOMETHING WRONG, DICK? 358 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:09,670 WRONG? WHAT COULD BE WRONG? 359 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:13,073 NO ONE'S CONTRADICTING ME. NO ONE'S TELLING ME TO LOWER MY VOICE. 360 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,510 NO ONE'S TOLD ME NOT TO LICK THE SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS. 361 00:16:16,544 --> 00:16:19,680 I'M CALM AND--AND--AND... 362 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,415 I'M HAPPY. 363 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,618 IT'S BORING, ISN'T IT? 364 00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:26,486 WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT IS. 365 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:27,855 YOU KNOW WHY? 366 00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:30,658 BECAUSE THERE'S NO CONFLICT HERE, DICK, 367 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:32,325 AND I THINK YOU NEED THAT. 368 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,794 WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 369 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,895 ARE YOU SO SURE? 370 00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,864 WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE. 371 00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,431 YOU KNOW WHAT? 372 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,534 YOU'RE NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME HERE, 373 00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:42,903 AND FRANKLY, NEITHER AM I. 374 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:45,105 YOU KNOW WHOSE FAULT THAT IS? 375 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,807 YOURS? 376 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,243 IT'S THE BOOK'S FAULT. 377 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,713 OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT! 378 00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:55,348 I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU AND NOT THAT STUPID BOOK. 379 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,685 I ALMOST THREW AWAY MARY. 380 00:16:57,718 --> 00:17:00,420 YEAH. AND SHE'S THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU'VE GOT GOING. 381 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:05,693 HA. YEAH, NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH MARY. 382 00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:06,994 WE'D BETTER GET OVER THERE. 383 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,830 YEAH. I'M WITH YOU. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE-- 384 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,666 OH, BY THE WAY, 385 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:13,834 ABOUT THE CHECK. 386 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,303 I KNOW. I KNOW. I'LL GET IT. 387 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,437 YOU GO. 388 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:21,041 THANKS, DICK. YOU'RE THE GREATEST! 389 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,743 NO. 390 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,312 CHECK PLEASE! 391 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:31,318 THIS IS GOOD. 392 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,653 WE JUST HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS LAST TEST 393 00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:34,421 AND WE'VE MADE IT. 394 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,290 SHE KNOWS HOW TO BREAK ME. SHE'LL BREAK ME. 395 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:38,826 TOMMY, RELAX, MAN. 396 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:40,460 YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING SHE'S THROWN AT YOU. 397 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,395 YOU'RE RIGHT. I HAVE. 398 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:43,664 I'M A MOUNTAIN. 399 00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:45,699 I AM A MOUNTAIN! 400 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,669 STAND UP, PLEBES! 401 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,038 HI, LADIES. 402 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:56,376 BOY, ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT TODAY! 403 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,980 I HAVE 3 TASTY POPOVERS RIGHT HERE. 404 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,816 LADIES LIKE POPOVERS, DON'T THEY, LADIES? 405 00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:03,884 HUH? 406 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,986 OK. HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS. 407 00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:09,056 ONE IS CHERRY. 408 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,523 HUH? 409 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:14,995 ONE IS APRICOT. 410 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:19,232 AND ONE MAY OR MAY NOT BE SPIDER. 411 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,300 UHH! 412 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,202 I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT ONE OF YOU 413 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,973 IS PATHOLOGICALLY AFRAID OF SPIDERS. 414 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,075 DON'T WORRY, TOMMY. IT'S JUST A PSYCHE-OUT. 415 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,377 NO ONE WOULD ACTUALLY PUT A POISONOUS SPIDER IN A POPOVER. 416 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,344 POISONOUS? 417 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,180 DID SHE SAY POISONOUS? 418 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:33,914 LADIES... 419 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:34,648 AHEM! 420 00:18:34,682 --> 00:18:38,151 TAKE EAT OF THE POPOVER! 421 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,758 MMM! APRICOT. 422 00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:45,125 OH! 423 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:45,826 SPIDER? 424 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:49,262 NO, CHERRY! I HATE CHERRY. 425 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:52,933 CONGRATULATIONS, MEN. THAT'S FANTASTIC! 426 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,567 YOU'VE JOINED THE FRATERNITY! 427 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,169 [CHEERING] 428 00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:59,740 SADLY, EVERYONE EXCEPT TOMMY. 429 00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:02,042 TOMMY, BITE THE POPOVER... 430 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:05,679 AND JOIN THE COVENANT OF YOUR BRETHREN. 431 00:19:05,713 --> 00:19:07,014 YEAH, COME ON, TOMMY. DO IT. 432 00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:08,581 YOU CAN DO IT! 433 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,051 I CAN'T DO IT! 434 00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:14,487 All: BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! 435 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,456 BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! BITE IT! 436 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,891 BITE IT! BITE IT! 437 00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:20,560 WAIT! GUYS, LET ME EXPLAIN. 438 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,229 SALLY IS MY AUNT, 439 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,197 AND I WANTED TO GET INTO THIS FRAT SO BADLY, 440 00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:26,133 THAT I DID WHAT ANY OF YOU WOULD'VE DONE. 441 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,667 I ASKED MY AUNT FOR HELP, 442 00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:29,302 BUT NOW, SHE'S GONE MAD WITH POWER, 443 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,538 AND I THINK WE NEED TO KICK HER OUT. 444 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,806 RIGHT? 445 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,542 BROTHERS, UNITE! 446 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,814 GET THE WEENY. 447 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,928 MARY! AAH! 448 00:19:54,962 --> 00:19:55,428 WAKE UP, UP, UP, UP, UP! 449 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,696 WHAT? I'M SLEEPING! 450 00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,131 HENCE THE DEMAND. 451 00:19:58,165 --> 00:19:59,299 I'M HERE FOR A FIGHT! 452 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,067 WHAT DID I DO? 453 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:00,868 NOTHING 454 00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,102 BUT LET'S FIND SOMETHING 455 00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:03,904 OR, OR, BETTER YET, SOMETHNIG I DID 456 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,439 THAT'S A MUCH RICHER AREA. 457 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,440 IS THIS FROM THE BOOK? 458 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,042 OH, FORGET THE BOOK! 459 00:20:09,076 --> 00:20:10,610 THE BOOK JUST WANTS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 460 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,112 AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY? 461 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:14,214 NOT ALL THE TIME. IT'S NO FUN. 462 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,548 I NEED CONFLICT. 463 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,118 IT MAKES ME FEEL. IT MAKES ME LEARN! 464 00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:19,486 SO COME ON, BRING IT. 465 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,822 NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I'M HAPPY. 466 00:20:21,855 --> 00:20:22,589 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 467 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:23,223 YES, I AM. 468 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,224 YES, I AM. NO, YOU'RE NOT. 469 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,392 NO, YOU'RE NOT. YES, I AM! 470 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,628 YES, I AM! NO, YOU'RE NOT! 471 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,931 THIS IS THE FACE OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY-- 472 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:33,400 PERMA-HAPPY MARY! 473 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,838 OH, GOD, YOU'RE SEXY WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY. 474 00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:38,271 KISS ME. 475 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,006 MMM! 476 00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:41,341 MMM! 477 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,279 AH, SO TOMMY IS REALLY BUMMED 478 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:47,815 HE DIDN'T GET INTO THAT FRATERNITY. 479 00:20:47,848 --> 00:20:50,150 GOOD! LET HIM FEEL MISERABLE NOW. 480 00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:52,685 THAT WAY, HE'LL APPRECIATE HOW GOOD HE FEELS 481 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:53,854 WHEN HE FINALLY DOES GET IN. 482 00:20:53,887 --> 00:20:54,922 AH, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 483 00:20:54,955 --> 00:20:57,925 I REWROTE THE BY-LAWS. 484 00:20:57,958 --> 00:20:59,126 YOU KNOW, IT'S WEIRD. 485 00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:02,162 IF A HUMAN WANTS TO BE RICH OR THIN OR HAPPY, 486 00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,297 THEY GOT TO READ ABOUT HOW TO DO IT IN A BOOK. 487 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:08,435 YEAH, BUT ALL THE NEGATIVE CRAP SEEMS TO COME EASILY. 488 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,403 THERE'S NO BOOK THAT TELLS YOU HOW TO BE 489 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:12,705 SELFISH, STUPID OR OBNOXIOUS. 490 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:16,676 HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE ONE. 491 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,846 WELL, I COULD, BUT I'M TOO LAZY. 492 00:21:18,879 --> 00:21:21,148 YEAH. 33738

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