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1
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,611
NINA, I STILL
DON'T GET IT.
2
00:00:09,644 --> 00:00:11,512
WHICH ONE IS BABY SPICE?
3
00:00:11,546 --> 00:00:14,382
OH, SHE'S THE ONE
THAT GOES LIKE THIS.
4
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,286
MARY!
5
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:19,253
DADDY!
6
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,088
HEY, MAGPIE.
7
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,824
HA HA HA! OH...
OH.
8
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,258
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE!
9
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,962
WELL, NOT REALLY.
I'VE LEFT YOUR MOTHER.
10
00:00:27,996 --> 00:00:28,663
AGAIN?
11
00:00:28,697 --> 00:00:29,898
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
12
00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:31,532
LET ME GIVE YOU TWO
SOME TIME ALONE.
13
00:00:31,566 --> 00:00:33,034
OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
14
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,536
THEY DO THIS EVERY YEAR.
15
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:39,708
I KNOW. I JUST CAN'T
BEAR TO HEAR IT AGAIN.
BUH-BYE.
16
00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:41,943
SO HOW LONG
IS THIS FIGHT
GOING TO LAST?
17
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,045
OH, THIS
WAS A BAD ONE, MARY.
18
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,814
I BROKE HER
SOUND OF MUSIC BOX.
19
00:00:45,847 --> 00:00:46,681
OH, NO!
20
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:47,849
YEP.
21
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:50,284
YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE THROUGH!
22
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,721
45 YEARS DOWN THE TOILET.
23
00:00:52,754 --> 00:00:54,756
YOU STILL GOT THAT HIDE-A-BED
IN THE LIVING ROOM?
24
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:55,523
YES.
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,927
AND YOU DON'T MIND
SLEEPING ON IT?
26
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,195
NOT REALLY. NO.
27
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:01,930
GOOD MORNING, MARY.
28
00:01:01,963 --> 00:01:02,964
OH, GOOD MORNING,
DICK.
29
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:03,832
GOOD MORNING, DICK.
30
00:01:03,865 --> 00:01:04,666
GOOD MORNING, GEORGE.
31
00:01:04,699 --> 00:01:05,967
AAH!
32
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,401
WHAT?
33
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,503
IF HE'S HERE, THAT MEANS
THE OTHER ONE'S HERE, TOO,
34
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:13,074
AND--AND SHE SCARES ME.
35
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,710
NO, DICK.
DADDY'S HERE ALONE.
36
00:01:15,744 --> 00:01:17,011
[WHISPERING]
He left Mother.
37
00:01:17,045 --> 00:01:18,112
OH...
38
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,614
FINALLY.
39
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,051
[DOORBELL RINGS]
40
00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,920
I'LL GET IT!
41
00:02:01,089 --> 00:02:02,156
HELLO, SOLOMONS.
42
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,224
HELLO, GEORGE!
43
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,059
UH, THIS
IS MY BROTHER HARRY.
44
00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:07,228
CHARMED, I'M SURE.
45
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,063
AND THIS
IS MY SON TOMMY.
46
00:02:09,097 --> 00:02:11,099
HEY, THERE, SPORT!
47
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,234
HEY!
CUT IT OUT!
48
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,869
HE STARTED IT!
49
00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,805
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
50
00:02:16,838 --> 00:02:19,173
I LEFT MYSELF WIDE OPEN.
51
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,008
COME ON IN.
52
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:20,975
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
53
00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:22,276
I'M SORRY.
HI. I'M SALLY.
54
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,845
HI. LET ME TAKE
YOUR COAT, YOUNG LADY.
55
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,280
OH, THANK YOU.
56
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,782
YOU KNOW...
57
00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:31,886
YOU REMIND ME OF A GAL
NAMED BETTY GRABLE,
58
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,288
BUT I BET SHE
WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME.
59
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:37,926
YEAH, I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE
A COUPLE YEARS.
60
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,794
SIT DOWN AND LET ME
FIX YOU A DRINK.
61
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:40,962
GREAT. I'LL HAVE A BEER.
62
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,530
A BEER?
63
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,498
A BEER'S NO DRINK
FOR A LADY.
64
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,135
LET ME MAKE YOU
A LADY'S DRINK.
65
00:02:47,802 --> 00:02:49,303
YEAH.
66
00:02:50,739 --> 00:02:52,774
A LADY'S DRINK.
67
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,614
I LIKE THIS SCOTCH.
68
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:03,718
YEAH. SO DOES
EVERYBODY ELSE.
69
00:03:03,752 --> 00:03:06,020
SO TELL ME ABOUT NORMANDY
AGAIN, GEORGE.
70
00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:09,323
OH, YOU JUST
CAN'T HEAR ENOUGH ABOUT
THE BIG ONE, CAN YA?
71
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,492
NO.
72
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,661
I LO WAR.
73
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:17,866
OH, I MEAN, I HATE WAR,
BUT I LOVE HEARING
ABOUT THE KILLING.
74
00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:22,236
YOU KNOW,
I ONCE KILLED A NAZI
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
75
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,638
OH, PLEASE!
76
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:26,875
SO, HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
77
00:03:26,908 --> 00:03:29,643
WELL, I WAS ASLEEP IN
THIS BURNED-OUT CHURCH
78
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,212
IN THE FRENCH
COUNTRYSIDE.
79
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,580
AND HE TRIPPED,
AND YOU CHOKED HIM,
80
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,748
AND I THINK
IT'S GETTING LATE.
81
00:03:33,782 --> 00:03:35,049
DICK!
82
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:35,950
HUH?
83
00:03:35,984 --> 00:03:37,285
OH!
84
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,853
OH, MARY!
85
00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:40,554
OH, THANK GOD
YOU'RE HERE!
86
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,390
I HAD A TERRIBLE DREAM.
87
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,658
YOUR FATHER WAS THERE...
88
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,060
AND--
89
00:03:46,094 --> 00:03:48,496
AND HE WAS TELLING ALL
THESE BORING WAR STORIES.
90
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:52,033
I COULDN'T KEEP
MY EYES OPEN!
91
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:57,839
HELLO, GEORGE.
92
00:03:57,872 --> 00:03:59,340
CHOP-CHOP, EVERYONE!
TIME TO GO!
93
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:04,545
OH, COOL,
I'M STILL KINDA DRUNK.
94
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,916
HEY, THERE'S
NO HAIR ON MY CHEST.
95
00:04:07,949 --> 00:04:08,950
THANK YOU, MARY.
96
00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,518
GEORGE, IT WAS
A WONDERFUL EVENING,
97
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,520
BUT I'M AFRAID WE'VE
GOT TO BE OFF. SALLY!
98
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,055
REALLY? SO SOON?
99
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:17,558
I DIDN'T EVEN GET
A CHANCE TO TELL SALLY
ABOUT MY DISCHARGE.
100
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,829
THAT'S NOT
APPROPRIATE, DAD!
101
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,033
FROM THE AIR FORCE!
102
00:04:25,066 --> 00:04:26,667
OH.
103
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,102
WELL, HEY...
104
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:32,073
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SALLY
TO THE RUTHERFORD AIR
AND SPACE MUSEUM TOMORROW.
105
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,507
YOU CAN TELL HER
ALL ABOUT IT.
106
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:37,211
HEY, BUT I THOUGHT WE
WERE GONNA HAVE LUNCH
TOMORROW, MAGPIE.
107
00:04:37,245 --> 00:04:38,579
OH, THAT'S OK.
108
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,281
WELL, I'D LOVE TO GO.
109
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:43,451
THEY'VE GOT
A PERFECTLY RECONSTRUCTED
P-38 LIGHTNING.
110
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:47,021
COULD WE GET IT
AND PRETEND
WE'RE BOMBING CITIES?
111
00:04:47,055 --> 00:04:48,622
I'LL SLIP THE GUARD
A FIVER.
112
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,959
OH, YOU ARE AWESOME!
113
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,739
HEY, TOMMY,
DO YOU LIKE EGG SALAD?
114
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,441
'CAUSE I LIKE EGG SALAD.
115
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,011
HARRY,
IF YOU EAT DICK'S LUNCH
BEFORE WE FIND HIM,
116
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:12,180
THEN WE HAVE NO REASON
TO FIND DICK.
117
00:05:12,213 --> 00:05:14,048
THAT'S A LOAD OFF.
118
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,318
OOH, LOOK!
119
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,520
AN EXHIBIT ON
THE EARLY DAYS
OF RADIO.
120
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:23,024
NO. THIS IS JUST
THE COLLEGE'S CRUDDY
OLD RADIO STATION.
121
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,627
NO. I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT GUY'S ANIMATRONIC.
122
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,333
HEY, EDDIE.
123
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,234
ARE YOU THE D.J.?
124
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,669
HUH? NO. HE LEFT
FOR SPRING BREAK.
125
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,571
WHAT? YOU MEAN
THERE IS NO D.J.?
126
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,740
WELL, ISN'T THAT KIND
OF CHEATING PEOPLE?
127
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,575
THIS IS, LIKE, 8 WATTS, MAN.
128
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,946
I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE
IS THAT, LIKE...
129
00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:46,915
8?
130
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:48,282
OH! EDDIE!
131
00:05:48,316 --> 00:05:49,650
CAN I BE YOUR D.J.?
132
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,752
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
133
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,721
DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?
134
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,490
WHY, YES, I DO!
135
00:05:56,524 --> 00:06:01,562
YES. I WAS IN CHARGE
OF THE MORNING DRIVE TIME
ZOO CREW TEAM
136
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:05,299
AT WLMNOP.
137
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:06,968
I CAN WORK THE KNOBS
PERFECT.
138
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,736
OH, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.
139
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,571
ALL RIGHT!
OOH!
140
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,406
OH, UH, JUST...
141
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,774
DON'T CURSE...
142
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,609
AND DON'T SPILL NOTHIN',
143
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,778
AND IF YA SPILL SOMETHIN',
144
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,048
DON'T CURSE.
145
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:26,921
OH, WAIT--
WAIT A SECOND.
146
00:06:26,955 --> 00:06:27,455
WHOA! WHOA!
147
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,222
WHAT DO I SAY?
148
00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:31,859
IN 4...3...2...
149
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,062
GOOD MORNING,
RUTHERFORD.
150
00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:35,696
I'M HARRY SOLOMON.
151
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,467
IT'S 10:52 IN THE A.M.
HERE AT WPDL.
152
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,501
IT'S A SUNNY DAY,
153
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:44,838
AND I'VE GOT A SUNNY WAY
TO PLAY.
154
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:45,906
HERE'S ONE
OF MY FAVORITES,
155
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,776
AND I HOPE
IT'S ONE OF YOURS.
156
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,812
SEE IF YOU
RECOGNIZE THIS ONE.
157
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,051
PUT THE TAPE IN.
158
00:06:57,085 --> 00:07:01,022
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
159
00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:05,393
WELCOME TO TALK RADIO,
PEOPLE.
160
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,895
VROOOOM!
161
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,830
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-
TAT-TAT-TAT!
162
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,700
OH, HOW WAS THE AIR
AND SPACE MUSEUM?
163
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,202
IT WAS TERRIFIC!
164
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:15,536
I HAD THE BEST TIME!
165
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,737
OOH!
166
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,872
SO, YOU SURE
YOU DON'T MIND ME
TAKING THE LINCOLN?
167
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:19,907
NOT AT ALL.
168
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,642
YOU RUN YOUR ERRANDS
IN STYLE.
169
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,543
THANKS.
170
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,911
I'M GONNA PICK UP
THAT ELLA FITZGERALD CD.
171
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:24,945
OH, YOU'RE
GONNA LOVE IT!
172
00:07:24,979 --> 00:07:29,450
OH, I KNOW I WILL
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
WHAT I LIKE.
173
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,120
OH, ISN'T SHE SWEET?
174
00:07:32,153 --> 00:07:34,055
YOU KNOW, MUFFIN,
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
175
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:37,591
I'D SAY THAT LITTLE GAL
REALLY LIKES ME.
176
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:41,862
WELL, OF COURSE SHE DOES.
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
177
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,733
NO. I MEAN
SHE REALLY LIKES ME.
178
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,601
OH, PLEASE.
179
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,603
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO
LEAVE THE AIR MUSEUM.
180
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:56,577
WELL, OBVIOUSLY, SHE
HAS SOME PERVERSE INTEREST
IN OLD WAR RELICS.
181
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,613
IN MY OPINION,
IF DOGS WERE MEANT
TO BE ON LEASHES,
182
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:03,317
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN
BORN WITH THEM.
183
00:08:03,351 --> 00:08:05,586
AND DON'T GIVE ME
THAT TIRED, OLD ARGUMENT
184
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:09,623
THAT THEIR TAILS
ARE LEASHES.
185
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,725
OK, LET'S CHECK IN
WITH THE TRAFFIC
186
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,095
WITH OUR GOOD BUDDY
TOMMY G!
187
00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,229
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
188
00:08:15,263 --> 00:08:19,100
WELL, UH...THERE'S
A TRUCK OUT THERE,
AND NOW IT'S GONE.
189
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:20,868
BACK TO YOU, HARRY!
190
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,405
LET'S BE CAREFUL
OUT THERE,
PEOPLE!
191
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:27,007
OOH, HEY, WE
GOT AN IN-STUDIO
GUEST:
192
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:28,276
MISS
NINA CAMPBELL!
193
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:30,711
HEY, YOU GUYS,
I TURNED ON THE RADIO,
AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!
194
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,080
THIS IS SO GREAT!
195
00:08:32,113 --> 00:08:35,049
YEAH. I WANNA SEND SOME
SHOUTS OUT TO STEVEN
AND BOBBY AND CLARISSE--
196
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,185
OOH! AND REGGIE AND SHY GIRL
AND LITTLE B AND--
197
00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:39,787
NO. THIS IS MY SHOW.
198
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,856
OOH, WE'VE
GOT A CALLER
ON LINE 1.
199
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,125
GO AHEAD, CALLER.
200
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:47,961
YEAH. I TOTALLY DISAGREE
WITH YOU ON THAT WHOLE
LEASH LAW THING.
201
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,730
OH...
202
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,269
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD...
203
00:08:56,404 --> 00:08:59,173
BECAUSE YOU,
MY FRIEND, ARE WRONG.
204
00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:00,574
YOU TELL HIM, HARRY!
205
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,809
YEAH! NEXT SOUND
YOU HEAR
206
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:05,813
WILL BE THE SOUND
OF ME HANGIN' UP
ON A DUMB ASS.
207
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,754
OK, SO FAR YOU'VE
ATTACKED LEASH LAWS,
CITY COUNCIL,
208
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,524
AND SOME OLD LADY.
209
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,826
YEAH, BUT I'M RUNNIN' OUT
OF STUFF TO SAY.
210
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,094
I MEAN, WE NEED A GUEST.
211
00:09:20,128 --> 00:09:22,096
OH, YOU KNOW
WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE ON?
212
00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:23,164
GEORGE ALBRIGHT.
213
00:09:23,197 --> 00:09:25,799
HE KILLED A NAZI
WITH HIS BARE HANDS.
214
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,368
THAT'S COOL.
215
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,037
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY
ARE SPENDING A LOT
OF TIME WITH THAT MAN.
216
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,106
WELL, WHY NOT? HE'S GREAT.
217
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:33,941
HE'S NOT LIKE ANY GUY
I'VE EVER MET.
218
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,309
HE'S SO CONFIDENT.
219
00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:38,546
I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL
THE PLAID HE WEARS.
220
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,814
WELL, I WILL ADMIT
HE IS JAZZY.
221
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,284
OH, YEAH. HE'S GOT STYLE,
222
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,819
PLUS HE SMELLS LIKE SPICES.
223
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:49,123
OLD SPICES.
224
00:09:49,157 --> 00:09:51,925
DICK, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND
YOUR ALBRIGHT ATTRACTION.
225
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,795
IT MUST BE THEIR DNA.
THEY'RE IRRESISTIBLE.
226
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,797
YES! AT LAST
I'M UNDERSTOOD!
227
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,499
THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THEM, A CHARM...
228
00:09:58,532 --> 00:09:59,267
A MAGNETISM...
229
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,067
A STRENGTH...
230
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:00,934
A QUIET FORCE--
231
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:04,037
THEY'RE
BOTH A PAIN
IN THE ASS.
232
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,606
I DON'T KNOW, YOU GUYS.
233
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,607
DO YOU REALLY THINK
A GUY LIKE GEORGE
234
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,177
WOULD BE INTERESTED
IN A GAL LIKE ME?
235
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:14,515
SALLY, WHY WOULD A GUY
IN HIS 70s WANT TO BE
WITH A WOMAN IN HER 20s?
236
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,450
OH!
237
00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:23,991
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
238
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,160
OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT,
IS GEORGE HERE?
239
00:10:26,194 --> 00:10:27,461
OH, ACTUALLY,
HE JUST WENT OUT.
240
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:28,796
WITH WHO?
241
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:29,797
TO GET A PAPER.
242
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:30,798
OH.
243
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:31,499
COME IN.
244
00:10:31,532 --> 00:10:34,034
COME IN.
THANKS.
245
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,505
YOU KNOW, SALLY,
246
00:10:37,538 --> 00:10:39,373
MOTHER AND DAD
DO THIS EVERY YEAR,
247
00:10:39,407 --> 00:10:41,209
AND I DO NOT
LOOK FORWARD TO IT,
248
00:10:41,242 --> 00:10:42,843
SO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING ME OUT.
249
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,846
DAD APPRECIATES IT.
HE REALLY DOES.
250
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,681
HE DOES? HE SAID THAT?
251
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,817
TELL ME EXACTLY
WHAT HE SAID, RIGHT NOW.
252
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,752
OH! HE'S HAVING A BALL,
253
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,522
AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY
ENTERTAINING DAD
ALL DAY.
254
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,290
NO, NO. I LIKE IT.
255
00:10:56,324 --> 00:11:00,994
YOU'RE SO LUCKY.
YOUR DAD IS AMAZING.
256
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:05,098
SOMETIMES HE GETS
A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY,
AND HE GETS THESE IDEAS.
257
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:08,001
ALL I'M ASKING
IS THAT YOU BE GENTLE
WITH HIM, OK?
258
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,804
OK. NO MORE WRESTLING.
259
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:14,908
NO. I'M SERIOUS.
I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
260
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:20,180
OH, DON. THANKS
FOR COMING DOWN.
261
00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:21,982
WE KNOW HOW BUSY
YOU ARE.
262
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684
WE APPRECIATE
YOUR TIME.
263
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,118
OH.
264
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,287
IT'S MY PLEASURE.
265
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,356
IN FACT, I THINK
I GOT AN INTERESTING STORY
FOR YOU GUYS.
266
00:11:28,389 --> 00:11:30,558
IN 4...3...2...
267
00:11:30,591 --> 00:11:32,860
AND WE'RE BACK!
268
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:36,029
WELL, LOOK WHO
DROPPED BY
TO SAY HELLO.
269
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,232
OFFICER DON ORVEL.
270
00:11:38,266 --> 00:11:42,736
OR AS HE'S KNOWN
ON THE STREETS,
MADGE WITH A BADGE.
271
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,340
I'VE GOT THIS STORY
FOR YOU GUYS.
272
00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:50,411
YEAH, SO TELL ME,
OFFICER BACON BITS...
273
00:11:51,612 --> 00:11:53,781
WHEN YOU'RE
WORKING OVER A SUSPECT,
274
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,783
DOES THAT MAKE YOU
FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN?
275
00:11:55,816 --> 00:12:00,388
[MAN SCREAMS ON TAPE]
276
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:02,856
WELL, HARRY, I TRY NOT
TO ABUSE MY BADGE,
277
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,825
WHICH BRINGS ME
TO MY STORY.
IT'S ABOUT--
278
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,227
BORING!
279
00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:09,763
[MAN SNORES ON TAPE]
280
00:12:10,631 --> 00:12:12,466
SO, DON, TELL ME,
WHAT DO YOU THINK
281
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,469
ABOUT OLD DUDES
DATING YOUNG,
HOT BABES?
282
00:12:15,503 --> 00:12:18,071
IS IT SMART
OR SKANKY.
283
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,109
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
284
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,111
MM, YOU'RE DOWN
WITH THAT?
285
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,348
YEAH. I AM.
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
286
00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:30,684
YEAH! HE'S DOWN
WITH THAT.
287
00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:32,553
WELL, WOULD YOU
STILL BE DOWN WITH IT
288
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:37,291
IF THE YOUNG, HOT BABE
WAS, OH, SAY, SALLY...
289
00:12:37,325 --> 00:12:40,928
AND THE OLD DUDE
WAS ALBRIGHT'S DAD?
290
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,432
THAT I'M NOT DOWN WITH.
291
00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:49,002
SO, SALLY LIKES MR. ALBRIGHT.
HA, THAT'S MESSED UP.
292
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,238
OH, WE'VE GOT A
CALLER ON LINE ONE.
293
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,173
YOU'RE ON THE AIR
WITH HARRY SOLOMON.
294
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,743
Sally: YEAH,
THIS IS, UM, THELMA...
295
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,245
FROM OHIO.
296
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,047
IT'S NONE OF YOUR
BUSINESS WHAT I DO,
297
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,049
AND IF YOU IDIOTS
KEEP TALKING ABOUT ME,
298
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:06,019
I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR FACES IN
WITH A MONKEY WRENCH
WHEN YOU GET HOME.
299
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:10,057
NEW TOPIC.
300
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,225
MICHELLE PFEIFFER'S LIPS.
301
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,164
ARE THEY REAL?
302
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,638
DADDY?
YOU STILL UP?
303
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,141
YES.
304
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,410
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
305
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:32,346
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
306
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:35,315
HEY! ALBRIGHT! ALBRIGHT!
307
00:13:35,349 --> 00:13:38,218
I'M BEING GENTLE.
308
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:50,364
HEADS UP! I'M COMING
INTO THE ROOM!
309
00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:52,332
I CAN'T SLEEP.
WE HAVE TO TALK.
310
00:13:52,366 --> 00:13:53,701
GREAT.
LET'S TALK.
311
00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:56,103
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK
TO MY FATHER ALONE,
PLEASE?
312
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,439
OH, OK.
GOOD NIGHT, SUGAR.
313
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,340
OH, LISTEN, UM,
314
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:01,642
GEORGE AND I WANT
TO TAKE YOU AND DICK
315
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,076
OUT TO DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT.
316
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:06,380
OH, GOODY. A DOUBLE DATE
WITH MY DAD.
317
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:08,416
PLEASE GO.
318
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,754
MARY, LISTEN, I JUST
WANT YOU TO KNOW NOW
319
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:15,756
THAT GEORGE AND I
ARE TOGETHER,
320
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:17,891
AND I'M NOT GONNA TRY
TO REPLACE YOUR MOTHER,
321
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:21,228
OK? I JUST...
322
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,163
I JUST HOPE TO BECOME
A WAY BETTER MOTHER
323
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,133
AND GRADUALLY TURN YOU
AGAINST HER.
324
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,937
I'M NOT GONNA CALL YOU
MUMMY.
325
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:30,938
SALLY'S FINE. OH!
326
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,339
LISTEN, I WANT TO
TAKE YOU SHOPPING
NEXT WEEK,
327
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,776
GET YOU A PRETTY
NEW DRESS. WOULD YOU
LIKE THAT?
328
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,112
DID I TELL YOU SHE'S
GOT THE HOTS FOR ME?
329
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,481
WAS I RIGHT?
330
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:42,983
STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS
AND GO BACK TO MOTHER!
331
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,319
NO! AFTER 45 YEARS
OF PURE MISERY,
332
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:51,191
I FINALLY THINK
THERE'S A PLAN
FOR THE UNIVERSE.
333
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,760
WHY HER?
334
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,428
I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.
335
00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:58,331
AND THAT'S WHY
I THINK I'M GONNA
GIVE HER THIS.
336
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,734
THAT'S MOTHER'S
HEIRLOOM BRACELET.
337
00:15:00,768 --> 00:15:03,403
WELL, MARTHA DOESN'T
WEAR IT ANYMORE.
338
00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:07,541
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HER
TO DIE TO GET THAT!
339
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:12,513
WE ALL HAVE, HONEY.
WE ALL HAVE.
340
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:21,021
OH, YEAH? WELL,
WHY DON'T YOU COME
DOWN TO THE STATION
341
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,492
AND MAKE ME,
YA BIG JERK?!
342
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,894
[POW]
343
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:30,063
HARRY, SHE
WAS 8 YEARS OLD.
344
00:15:31,532 --> 00:15:33,901
SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW
IF IT WAS GONNA RAIN.
345
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,904
[BOOM]
346
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:40,240
YOU JUST STIFLE IT,
LITTLE MAN.
347
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:45,012
SO GEORGE THINKS
WE SHOULD TAKE
A COLD WATER CRUISE,
348
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,482
BECAUSE IT'S FAR MORE
INTERESTING THAN DOING
THAT WHOLE ISLAND THING.
349
00:15:48,516 --> 00:15:49,483
OH, YEAH.
350
00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:51,084
THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE SNUGGLING UP
ON THE DECK
351
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:54,287
WITH YOUR SWEETIE
AND A HOT TODDY.
352
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:57,625
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
AND DON'T GO TOO FAR!
353
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,562
SHALL WE DANCE?
354
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:04,498
OH, I'D LOVE TO.
355
00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:07,735
OH, WHOOPSIE, MARY.
LET ME GET IT.
356
00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:13,607
GOOD DOUBLE-BAKED
POTATOES.
357
00:16:13,641 --> 00:16:15,008
LOOK AT THOSE TWO.
358
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:15,743
WHO?
359
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,946
WOODY AND SOON-YI
OVER THERE.
360
00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:24,217
THIS WORLD WORKS IN WONDERFUL
AND MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
361
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,986
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
362
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,756
THOSE TWO PEOPLE
COULD BE FATED
TO FALL IN LOVE,
363
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:32,392
JUST WHEN YOUR MOTHER
WAS CONVENIENTLY
OUT OF THE WAY.
364
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:37,364
LOOK AT HIM DANCING,
GUSHING ALL OVER HER.
365
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,498
DANCING?
366
00:16:38,532 --> 00:16:40,901
MAKING A FOOL
OF HIMSELF.
367
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,236
DANCING.
368
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,038
IS THIS MAYONNAISE
OR HORSERADISH?
369
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,740
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT
IT IS WITH SALLY.
370
00:16:46,774 --> 00:16:49,777
SHE'S JUST TRYING
TO REPLACE THE FATHER
SHE LOST.
371
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:52,479
OH! OH!
372
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,082
WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S HOT.
373
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,384
DON'T TELL ME
I'M JEALOUS,
BECAUSE I'M NOT!
374
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,853
MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE.
375
00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:03,023
THAT'S MY DADDY!
376
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,793
THAT'S MY NAPKIN!
377
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:09,129
DADDY, YOU WANT
TO DANCE WITH ME?
378
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:13,033
WELL, SURE...
KITTEN.
379
00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:15,468
I'LL DANCE
WITH YOU, SALLY.
380
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,137
HE CALLED HER KITTEN!
381
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,171
I'M KITTEN!
382
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,539
CAN'T YOU BE
PUMPKIN?
383
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:21,541
I DON'T WANT
TO BE PUMPKIN!
384
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,611
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GET SOME THINGS
STRAIGHTEN OUT
385
00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:25,378
IF SHE'S GONNA BE
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
386
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,581
BUT AREN'T YOU GONNA
BE HER STEPMOTHER?
387
00:17:27,615 --> 00:17:29,116
WHATEVER.
388
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,385
EXCUSE ME.
UH, SHALL WE DANCE?
389
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,521
EHH--
390
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,626
SHALL WE DANCE?
391
00:17:38,659 --> 00:17:40,661
NO!
392
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:42,830
DADDY?
393
00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:45,032
SALLY, PEOPLE
ARE WATCHING.
394
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,399
REALLY?
395
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,736
OHH!
396
00:17:49,837 --> 00:17:52,572
I WAS DANCING
WITH MY DADDY.
397
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:54,942
NO! YOU WERE DANCING
WITH MY BOYFRIEND.
398
00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:58,646
HE WAS MY DADDY WAY BEFORE
HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND.
399
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,781
LISTEN, I THINK
YOU'D BETTER GROW UP.
400
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:01,682
GEORGE AND I
ARE A THING,
401
00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:03,583
AND YOU JUST BETTER
GET USED TO IT, MISSY.
402
00:18:03,617 --> 00:18:07,187
WELL, YOU JUST BETTER
GET USED TO ME!
403
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,856
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG,
KITTENS?
404
00:18:08,889 --> 00:18:10,891
NO!
NOTHING!
405
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,363
OK. WE'RE BACK.
406
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,699
LET'S GO
TO THE PHONES.
WHO'S ON?
407
00:18:18,732 --> 00:18:19,332
NOBODY.
408
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,233
YEAH. WE HAVEN'T
HAD A CALL
409
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:25,038
SINCE YOU MADE FUN
OF THAT LADY'S DEAD CAT.
410
00:18:25,072 --> 00:18:26,940
MAYBE WE NEED A NEW TOPIC.
411
00:18:26,974 --> 00:18:28,976
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
412
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:32,512
HEY! LET'S GO
ONE-ON-ONE WITH
NINA CAMPBELL.
413
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:33,546
OK.
414
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:37,284
OK. SO, NINA,
HOW MANY DATES
HAVE YOU HAD LATELY,
415
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,386
LIKE ZERO?
416
00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:42,923
WHAT?
417
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:45,158
NO, NO, NO! IT'S OK.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT
THE PROBLEM IS.
418
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:45,993
OH, REALLY?
419
00:18:46,026 --> 00:18:49,362
YEAH. YOU'RE
A GREAT BIG LOSER.
420
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,597
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS!
421
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,232
YES, YOU DO
'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER.
422
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,266
I'M OUT OF HERE!
423
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,601
WAIT, HARRY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
424
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,737
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'M NOT DOING.
425
00:18:56,770 --> 00:19:01,008
I'M NOT JUST
SITTING THERE BEING
A PIMPLE RANCHER.
426
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,712
HOW'S THE NEW CROP
THIS YEAR, TEEN BOY?
427
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:05,846
THIS IS OVER.
428
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:06,613
I AM GONE!
429
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,082
OH, GO! LEAVE!
430
00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:12,352
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T NEED
ANY OF YOU.
431
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:17,691
COME BAAACK!
432
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,260
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
433
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,564
HEY, SALLY.
434
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,632
HEY, GEORGE.
435
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,534
LISTEN,
WE HAVE TO TALK.
436
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,602
WELL, COME IN.
437
00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:33,340
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
438
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,975
WELL, UM,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
439
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:40,247
AND, UH, I THINK WE SHOULD
COOL THINGS OFF A BIT.
440
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:45,252
OH, IF I HAD A NICKEL
FOR EVERY SECRETARY
I'VE SAID THAT TO.
441
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,920
I'M SERIOUS.
442
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:48,956
WELL, WHY?
443
00:19:48,989 --> 00:19:51,925
WELL, I JUST--
I'M NOT READY TO BE
WITH SOMEBODY
444
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:54,561
WHO HAS CHILDREN.
445
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,898
WHAT, MARY?
SHE REALLY CAN TAKE
CARE OF HERSELF.
446
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,834
OH, LET'S NOT FOOL
OURSELVES, GEORGE.
447
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,803
SHE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF WORK.
448
00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:06,573
KIDS JUST ARE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
449
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,708
SHE'S OLD.
450
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,612
THIS ISN'T EASY
FOR ME, OK?
451
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,082
I DON'T WANT TO PENALIZE YOU
FOR BEING A GREAT DAD.
452
00:20:15,115 --> 00:20:18,919
IT'S JUST--
I HAVE TO BE SELFISH HERE.
453
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:21,521
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE
CLOSED THIS DEAL
THE NIGHT WE MET.
454
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,257
I KNEW THAT.
455
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,927
I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE.
456
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,996
AW...
457
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,932
WELL, I USUALLY DO.
458
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,803
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
459
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,506
BYE, SUGAR.
460
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,076
SALLY.
461
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:44,878
ALBRIGHT.
462
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,547
LOOK. I'M SORRY
FOR THE WAY I ACTED
THE OTHER NIGHT.
463
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,249
MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL
TALK THIS OUT.
464
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,751
NO. THERE'S NOTHING TO
TALK ABOUT MUFFIN, I--
465
00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:53,286
I'M GOING BACK TO MOTHER.
466
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:53,954
REALLY?!
467
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,288
YEAH, HE IS.
468
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,791
AND I'M SORRY
IF THIS CAUSED
469
00:20:57,825 --> 00:21:00,093
ANY FRICTION IN
YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
470
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:04,932
BUT, MARY, I JUST
WANT YOU TO KNOW
SOMETHING.
471
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:07,467
I COULD'VE HAD HIM.
472
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:27,287
SHE AIN'T LYING.
473
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,689
NOW ARE YOU SURE YOU
HAVE EVERYTHING?
474
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,191
YEAH.
475
00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:38,731
MARY, I WOULDN'T
MENTION THIS SALLY
THING TO MOTHER.
476
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:42,302
GEE DAD, I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN DO THAT.
477
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:44,671
HERE.
478
00:21:45,005 --> 00:21:48,508
MY LIPS ARE SEALED.
32555
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