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1
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:10,645
NINA! THIS NEEDS
TO GO OUT RIGHT AWAY!
2
00:00:10,679 --> 00:00:11,813
WHAT'S SO URGENT, DICK?
3
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:12,914
IT'S THE PHONE
COMPANY SURVEY.
4
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:16,551
I'M VERY SATISFIED
WITH MY SERVICE.
NINA!
5
00:00:16,585 --> 00:00:17,719
MAIL THIS.
6
00:00:17,752 --> 00:00:20,488
I'LL DO IT ON MY WAY OUT.
I'VE GOT A BLIND DATE.
7
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,489
WELL, THAT'S
EXCITING.
8
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,793
WHY, IS HE DRIVING?
9
00:00:24,826 --> 00:00:26,761
ANYWAY, YOU'LL
HAVE TO CANCEL.
10
00:00:26,795 --> 00:00:28,329
WE HAVE WAY TOO
MUCH WORK TO DO.
11
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,565
WHY NOW?
YOU HAVEN'T DONE
ANY WORK IN 2 DAYS.
12
00:00:30,599 --> 00:00:33,201
I KNOW, AND NOW
I'M PAYING FOR IT.
13
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,336
IF YOU WANT,
YOU CAN INVITE
YOUR BLIND DATE HERE
14
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,370
AND TELL HIM
IT'S A DISCO,
15
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:39,107
BUT THAT'S
THE BEST I CAN DO.
16
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,009
CAN'T THIS WAIT
UNTIL TOMORROW?
17
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,444
NO, NINA.
YOU'RE PAID TO
DO MY BIDDING.
18
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,114
I WAS NEVER PAID
TO WORK FOR YOU.
WHAT?
19
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,349
I AM DR. ALBRIGHT'S
ASSISTANT.
20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,118
WHEN YOU SHOWED UP,
THEY DOUBLED MY WORKLOAD,
21
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:53,487
AND THE ONLY RAISE
I GOT WAS THE PRIVILEGE
OF WORKING FOR YOU.
22
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:58,159
I THINK YOU'RE STARTING
TO TAKE THAT PRIVILEGE
A LITTLE FOR GRANTED.
23
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,861
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
24
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,630
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
I QUIT.
25
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:03,464
NINA,
YOU CAN'T QUIT.
I NEED YOU.
26
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,634
LET HER GO!
27
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:09,203
I GUARANTEE,
YOU'LL NEVER WORK
IN THIS TOWN AGAIN.
28
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,406
OH, I'M STILL WORKING
FOR DR. ALBRIGHT. I'M
JUST QUITTING YOU.
29
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,043
OH, NO. NO, NO!
30
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,878
NO, THAT'S
NOT HOW IT WORKS.
WE'RE A PACKAGE.
31
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,212
YOU QUIT ONE OF US,
YOU QUIT US BOTH.
32
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,447
ISN'T THAT RIGHT,
MARY?
33
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,083
SEE YOU IN
THE MORNING, NINA.
34
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,017
HA!
35
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,003
HARRY, I HAVE GREAT NEWS.
36
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,772
YOU'RE GOING TO BE
MY NEW ASSISTANT.
37
00:01:43,805 --> 00:01:49,143
WHOA! ASSISTANT
HIGH COMMANDER HARRY.
38
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,045
OH, I KNEW
THIS DAY WOULD COME.
39
00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:53,815
NO, NO, HARRY...
MY OFF ASSISTANT.
40
00:01:53,848 --> 00:01:57,418
YOU'LL FIND ME
TO BE AN EASY PERSON
TO WORK FOR.
41
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,153
MY DEMANDS
ARE SIMPLE:
42
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,723
SIMPLY SOMEONE
WHO UNDERSTANDS
THAT WORKING FOR ME
43
00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:06,027
IS IN AND OF ITSELF
A REASON TO LIVE.
44
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,931
WOW. SEEMS LIKE I
SHOULD BE PAYING YOU.
45
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:12,366
I CONSIDERED THAT,
HARRY, BUT IT'S
IMPOSSIBLE.
46
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,836
YOU'LL BE MAKING
VIRTUALLY NOTHING.
47
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:17,739
YOU'LL ONLY HAVE TO PERFORM
THE MOST BASIC OF TASKS.
48
00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:19,307
YOU'VE SENT OUT
MAIL BEFORE.
49
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,209
NOPE.
50
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,811
WELL, YOU'VE
STAPLED BEFORE.
51
00:02:22,844 --> 00:02:25,179
I HAVE NOT.
52
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,248
WELL, SURELY, YOU'VE
USED A PAPER CLIP.
53
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:32,286
OH, YOU MEAN THOSE
COTTON THINGS YOU
PUT IN YOUR EAR?
54
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,755
HARRY, HOW MANY FINGERS
AM I HOLDING UP?
55
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,156
2!
YOU'RE HIRED.
56
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:11,192
HAVE SOME TEA.
57
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,896
UM, THERE'S
NO TEA IN HERE.
58
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:18,666
IT'S PINK TEA,
AND IT'S GOOD TEA.
59
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:22,270
KID, DID YOU FALL OFF
THE JUNGLE GYM OR WHAT?
60
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,872
HEY. WHAT'S
GOING ON?
61
00:03:23,905 --> 00:03:28,977
I'M WATCHING DUBCEK'S
ILLEGITIMATE GRANDKID.
62
00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:31,079
YOU'RE LATE
FOR TEA.
63
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,987
WAIT, THERE'S NO
ACTUAL TEA, RIGHT?
64
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,790
IT'S PINK TEA,
AND IT'S GOOD TEA.
65
00:03:41,823 --> 00:03:43,224
THE CAKE IS PINK, TOO.
66
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:46,260
"THE CAKE
IS PINK, TOO!"
67
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,662
ALL RIGHT, MAYBE
THIS IS TEA,
68
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,865
BUT THIS
IS DEFINITELY
NOT CAKE.
69
00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:12,954
HI, HARRY. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
70
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,256
OH, YOU'RE DICK'S
NEW ASSISTANT.
71
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:19,127
YES, SIR!
I'M THE NEW GUY.
72
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,163
YOU KNOW,
AT FIRST, NO ONE
LIKES THE NEW GUY.
73
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,565
PEOPLE ARE
THREATENED BY
THE NEW GUY,
74
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:30,404
BUT OTHER PEOPLE ARE
SECRETLY ATTRACTED
TO THE NEW GUY.
75
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:33,441
OH, HELLO,
MR. DR. SOLOMON, SIR!
76
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,608
WELCOME BACK.
77
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:35,944
"WELCOME BACK."
78
00:04:35,977 --> 00:04:39,380
HARRY, UNLIKE NINA,
YOU ARE A GENTLEMAN.
79
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,517
HERE ARE YOUR MAIL
AND YOUR MESSAGES.
80
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,886
I'VE ALREADY
TAKEN CARE OF
THE FIRST 2,
81
00:04:44,919 --> 00:04:46,387
AND I RESTOCKED
YOUR STATIONARY.
82
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,388
THANK YOU, NINA.
83
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,257
HARRY, DID I GET
ANY PHONE CALLS?
84
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,894
OH, YES. IT RANG
REPEATEDLY.
85
00:04:52,927 --> 00:04:56,030
AND, UM...
WHO CALLED?
86
00:04:56,064 --> 00:05:01,035
WELL, I DON'T
KNOW, DICK. I'M
NOT CLAIRVOYANT.
87
00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:04,906
OF COURSE NOT,
BUT I'M SURE YOU
FILED MY MID-TERMS.
88
00:05:04,939 --> 00:05:09,410
NO...
BUT I DID PRE-LICK
ALL YOUR STAMPS...
89
00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:14,582
AND I PLACED
THEM HERE ON YOUR
FILING CABINET
90
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,550
FOR YOUR
CONVENIENCE.
91
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,523
NICE WORK, HARRY.
92
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,959
NOW WHEN I WANT
TO MAIL A LETTER,
93
00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:27,261
I'LL JUST STEAM,
SCRAPE, AND TAPE.
94
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,568
SO ANYWAY, SHE LOOKS
AT ME AND SHE SAYS,
95
00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:36,871
"IT'S PINK TEA,
AND IT'S GOOD TEA."
96
00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:38,639
OH, THAT'S
SO SWEET.
97
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,075
I'M NOT DONE WITH
THE STORY. IT WAS
IMAGINARY TEA.
98
00:05:41,109 --> 00:05:43,744
DID SHE SERVE
IMAGINARY CAKE
YES! AND MUFFINS?
99
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,780
THAT'S SO CUTE!
THAT'S SO CUTE!
100
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,283
HOLD ON.
IS THERE SOME SORT
OF IMAGINARY BAKERY
101
00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:51,419
I'M MISSING OUT ON?
102
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,821
I ALWAYS HAD
BARBIE TEA PARTIES.
103
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:58,592
OH, BARBIE--
BLOND HAIR, TINY WAIST,
LEGS UP TO HER NECK.
104
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,294
WHO GROWS UP
TO LOOK LIKE THAT?
105
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:00,929
YEAH, WHO?
106
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:03,664
YEAH, WHO?
107
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,804
OH, WHY DID EVERYTHING
SEEM POSSIBLE AT THAT AGE?
108
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:13,174
YES. DID YOU EVER
PLAY DRESS-UP?
109
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,143
WEARING YOUR
MOTHER'S CLOTHES?
110
00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:17,245
MY BROTHER ROY
DID THAT.
111
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:19,914
BALLET LESSONS.
112
00:06:19,948 --> 00:06:21,349
OH, BALLET!
BALLET!
113
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,317
BALLET!
114
00:06:23,351 --> 00:06:26,787
OH, ON MY RECITAL NIGHT,
I FELT LIKE CINDERELLA.
115
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,991
OF COURSE, I LOOKED
LIKE ONE OF THE HIPPOS
IN FANTASIA.
116
00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:31,725
YEAH, ME--
117
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,628
NO. I--
I LOOKED CUTE.
118
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:40,468
SO, REMEMBER WHEN
WE USED TO DO...WHAT?
119
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,971
MY DAD GAVE ME
A SINGLE WHITE ROSE.
120
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:45,906
I WAS HIS
LITTLE PRINCESS.
121
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,109
I WANT MY CHILDHOOD.
122
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,312
DON'T WE ALL?
123
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,517
TOMMY!
124
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,485
I'M NOT COMING OUT.
125
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,620
I WANNA PLAY BARBIE!
126
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:14,735
I FEEL LIKE
TOMMY LONGSTOCKING!
127
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,404
THAT'S WHAT I
WAS GOING FOR.
128
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,472
ALL RIGHT, NOW,
SIT DOWN. YOU'RE KEN.
129
00:07:23,411 --> 00:07:26,047
OK, KEN, SO, WHAT
DO YOU WANNA DO TODAY?
130
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,983
HMM. NOTHING THAT
INVOLVES BENDING
MY KNEES OR ELBOWS.
131
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,122
OK, WELL, HAVE
A GREAT DAY AT WORK.
132
00:07:34,155 --> 00:07:35,456
OH, I WILL,
AND WHILE THERE,
133
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,560
I'LL LEARN 25%
MORE THAN YOU
BECAUSE I'M A MAN.
134
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,329
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
135
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:44,999
I'M GONNA SUE YOU
IN MALIBU DREAM COURT.
136
00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:48,136
DON'T GET YOUR MINK
IN A BUNCH, PRECIOUS.
137
00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:50,304
OK, WELL, NOW YOU'RE
TALKING DOWN TO ME...
138
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,673
SO NOW I HAVE TO RIP
YOUR HEAD OFF. ARGHH!
139
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,446
YOU DON'T
PLAY RIGHT!
140
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,549
YOU BABY. HERE,
YOU FORGOT YOUR HEAD.
141
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,318
SHUT UP!
142
00:08:04,352 --> 00:08:07,555
SO, DICK, YOU KNOW
WHAT I OVERHEARD
AT THE WATER COOLER?
143
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,456
NO. WHAT?
144
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,091
THAT THERE'S
THIS WEIRD GUY
145
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:11,959
HANGING AROUND
THE WATER COOLER.
146
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:17,498
DICK, I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HOME. READ THAT.
147
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,301
AN APPLICATION TO
LITTLE MISS SLIPPERS
BALLET ACADEMY?
148
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,270
YEAH. I REALLY NEED
BALLET LESSONS.
149
00:08:22,303 --> 00:08:23,637
IT'S IMPERATIVE
TO MY MISSION.
150
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:24,538
CAN YOU GET IN?
151
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,507
DO YOU HAVE $150?
152
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,008
FOR THIS?
153
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:30,144
DON'T MAKE ME BEG.
154
00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:31,345
NO.
155
00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:35,816
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
156
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,152
ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!
157
00:08:38,186 --> 00:08:39,853
ENJOY.
158
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,823
I'M GONNA BE THE BEST
DAMN BALLERINA IN
THAT WHOLE CLASS!
159
00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:50,198
WHOO! MY BOYFRIEND
DRIVES A CAMARO! WHOO!
160
00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:51,099
HARRY, GET UP!
161
00:08:51,132 --> 00:08:52,566
YES, SIR.
162
00:08:59,173 --> 00:09:00,641
I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT
WORK TODAY.
163
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:04,212
OH! IT WAS THE GREATEST
DAY OF MY LIFE.
164
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,079
IT WAS A DISASTER.
165
00:09:05,113 --> 00:09:06,147
I'M GLAD IT'S OVER.
166
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,515
NOW I CAN STOP
PRETENDING.
167
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,150
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
168
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:11,452
THERE'S GONNA BE
SOME CHANGES AROUND
HERE, HARRY.
169
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,621
FROM NOW ON, YOUR DESK
WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
170
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:14,888
HER NAME WILL BE LUCILLE.
171
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,491
SHE WILL BE THE ONLY WOMAN
IN YOUR LIFE.
172
00:09:17,525 --> 00:09:20,361
DICK, I DON'T LIKE
YOU LIKE THIS.
173
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,295
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LIKE ME
174
00:09:21,329 --> 00:09:22,663
BECAUSE LIKING
LEADS TO LOVING,
175
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,964
AND LOVING LEADS
TO REPRODUCTION,
176
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,968
AND NOBODY REPRODUCES
WITH ME, UNDERSTOOD?!
177
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,503
NOW GET SOME SLEEP.
178
00:09:29,537 --> 00:09:32,406
STARTING TOMORROW,
I'M GOING TO WHIP
YOU INTO SHAPE.
179
00:09:35,176 --> 00:09:38,946
OK, BUT DON'T TOUCH
THE FACE...
180
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,081
'CAUSE I'M A PRETTY MAN.
181
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:49,823
Dick:
HARRY!
182
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,492
MY PENCILS ARE DULL.
183
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:56,297
WELL, TALK TO
DR. ALBRIGHT INSTEAD.
SHE'S RIVETING.
184
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,899
THANK YOU, HARRY.
185
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,902
SHARPEN THESE.
THAT'S 8 PENCILS
AT 7 SECONDS EACH,
186
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:02,970
AND I WANT
A PROGRESS REPORT
187
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,872
TYPED
AND ON MY DESK
IN 50 SECONDS.
188
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,608
NOW GO, GO, GO,
GO, GO, GO, GO!
189
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:08,442
HARRY?
190
00:10:08,476 --> 00:10:11,279
NOT NOW, NINA.
I'M ON A DEADLINE.
191
00:10:11,312 --> 00:10:13,547
DON'T YOU THINK
DR. SOLOMON'S MAKING
192
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:15,349
SOME UNREASONABLE
DEMANDS OF YOU?
193
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:16,950
OH, DON'T
BE SILLY.
194
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,720
HARRY!
195
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:20,688
PEE IN THIS CUP.
196
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,123
I WANT TO SEE
IF YOU'VE BEEN
EATING MY MINTS.
197
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,264
THAT'S FINE, YOU KNOW?
198
00:10:30,298 --> 00:10:32,733
DICK'S JUST TRYING
TO WHIP ME INTO A
FIRST-CLASS ASSISTANT.
199
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,303
LOOK, NEXT TIME
HE STARTS TO GET
ON YOUR CASE,
200
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,305
YOU TELL HIM
TO TALK TO THE HAND.
201
00:10:37,338 --> 00:10:39,207
"TALK TO THE HAND."
202
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,541
OH, I DON'T KNOW...
203
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:43,477
HARRY, GET OUT HERE!
204
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:44,745
WHY IS MY
OUT BOX FULL?
205
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,247
BECAUSE THE MAIL
JUST CAME IN.
206
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,548
WHY DID YOU PUT IT
IN THE OUT BOX?
207
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,584
BECAUSE IT CAME
OUT OF THE MAIL.
208
00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:52,753
THEN WHY IS MY
LETTER TO THE DEAN
IN THE IN BOX?
209
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,588
WELL, THE DEAN
WON'T BE BACK
TILL TOMORROW,
210
00:10:54,622 --> 00:10:57,425
BUT ONCE HE'S IN,
THE IN GOES OUT.
211
00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:59,693
HARRY, THINGS
IN THE OUT BOX
ARE GOING OUT.
212
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,729
WHY DON'T WE JUST
GET ONE BIG BOX,
213
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,131
AND THAT WAY
WE'LL JUST PUT
EVERYTHING IN THERE?
214
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,567
I MEAN, THAT'S
50% LESS BOX.
215
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,101
BECAUSE THAT'S
NOT HOW IT'S DONE.
216
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,404
HARRY, ANYONE WITH
HALF A BRAIN COULD
DO THIS JOB.
217
00:11:10,438 --> 00:11:12,240
WHAT IS YOUR
PROBLEM?
218
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,845
DICK...
YES?
219
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,581
TALK TO THE HAND.
220
00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:34,328
* LA LA LA LA
221
00:11:34,362 --> 00:11:37,298
* LA LA LA LA
222
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,849
DICK! DICK,
LOOK AT ME!
223
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,051
JUST TRY TO KEEP YOUR FOOT
OUT OF THE EGG SALAD.
224
00:12:04,325 --> 00:12:09,363
LOOK AT ME.
LOOK WHAT I
LEARNED. LOOK.
225
00:12:09,397 --> 00:12:10,664
OH...
226
00:12:10,698 --> 00:12:13,133
GOOD. THEY TAUGHT YOU
TO SQUAT.
227
00:12:14,402 --> 00:12:17,438
IT'S NOT A SQUAT.
IT'S A PLIé.
228
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:21,008
WHAT'S A PLIé?
A FRENCH SQUAT.
229
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,710
I'M PRACTICING
FOR MY RECITAL.
230
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,878
I'M SO EXCITED.
EVERYBODY'S PARENTS
WILL BE--
231
00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:28,749
SALLY...
232
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,184
OOH! TOMMY!
233
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,926
WELL, TOMMY,
YOU ARE STYLIN'!
234
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,093
YEAH, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
235
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,195
WILL YOU PLEASE
FIX WHAT YOU'VE
DONE TO MY HEAD?
236
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,231
NO, BUT I WILL
LET YOU BORROW SOME
OF MY BARRETTES.
237
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,900
OH, WELL, THAT'LL
LOOK BETTER.
238
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:50,438
DICK, I CANNOT
WAIT FOR YOU TO
SEE THE RECITAL.
239
00:12:50,471 --> 00:12:52,072
I DO A PIROUETTE
AT THE END,
240
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:56,043
AND THE TEACHER SAYS
I LOOK LIKE A DRUNK BEAR.
241
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,445
I'LL BE THERE.
242
00:12:57,478 --> 00:13:01,482
LOOK AT ME, DAMN IT!
I'M YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS!
243
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:05,853
AWW! YOU LOOK
BEAUTIFUL!
244
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,321
THANK YOU.
245
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:10,057
COME ON, TOMMY.
I NEED YOU FOR
THE PAS DE DEUX!
246
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,625
HARRY,
COME WATCH
ME PRACTICE.
247
00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,126
SORRY, SALLY.
I HAVE TO SIT HERE
248
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,963
AND SILENTLY
GLARE AT DICK.
249
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,272
AM I GOING TO HAVE
AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST...
250
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,106
OR ARE YOU?
251
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:26,774
YOU JUST DID.
252
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,376
I DID NOT!
AHA!
253
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:33,213
HARRY, I HIRED YOU
TO REPLACE NINA,
254
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:37,451
BUT INSTEAD, SHE'S
TURNED YOU INTO HER
SASSY DOPPELGANGER!
255
00:13:37,485 --> 00:13:38,419
IS THAT RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
256
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:39,853
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT?
257
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,555
I'M NOT TAKING
IT ANYMORE.
258
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,491
THE CARNIVAL
IS LEAVING
DICKSVILLE.
259
00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:44,425
I QUIT!
260
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:45,893
YOU CAN'T QUIT, HARRY.
YOU'RE FIRED!
261
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,661
NOOO!
262
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,837
I'M SORRY THINGS
DIDN'T WORK OUT,
HARRY,
263
00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:00,307
BUT BEST OF LUCK
IN YOUR FUTURE
ENDEAVORS.
264
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,342
OK. SEE YOU TONIGHT.
265
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,313
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'VE
COME TO YOUR SENSES
266
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,015
AND YOU'LL APOLOGIZE
TO NINA?
267
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,618
NO. I WILL NEVER
COME TO MY SENSES!
268
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,856
I DON'T NEED NINA.
I DON'T NEED HARRY.
I DON'T NEED ANYBODY.
269
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,725
FROM NOW ON, I'LL
BE MY OWN ASSISTANT.
270
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:20,327
[RING]
271
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,195
HELLO?
272
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,798
YES, I'LL BE
AT THE SEMINAR.
273
00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:26,800
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
DR. SOLOMON.
274
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:27,968
HOLD ON A SECOND.
275
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:28,802
DICK--
276
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:31,739
TRANSFER IT
TO MY ASSISTANT,
PLEASE.
277
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:32,806
OK.
278
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,307
[BUZZ]
279
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,782
[ALTERS VOICE]
DR. SOLOMON'S LINE.
WHO'S CALLING PLEASE?
280
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:45,018
UH, I'LL ASK HIM.
THE SEMINAR? YES.
281
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,655
I'LL ASK HIM AND GET BACK
TO YOU THIS AFTERNOON.
282
00:14:47,688 --> 00:14:49,490
[RING]
283
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:51,725
DR. SOLOMON'S LINE.
WHO'S CALLING PLEASE?
284
00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:54,361
HOLD ON, PLEASE.
I'LL TRANSFER YOU.
285
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,796
[BUZZ]
286
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,537
THIS IS DICK SOLOMON.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
287
00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:08,075
NO, NO, NO. YOU
WANT DICK SULLIVAN IN
THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT.
288
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,544
TRANSFER YOU?
I'M ALREADY DOING
THE JOB OF 2 MEN!
289
00:15:10,578 --> 00:15:12,580
NEXT TIME PICK UP
A PHONE BOOK,
YOU MORON!
290
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,319
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
291
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,888
DICK, I THINK
YOUR PHONE'S RINGING.
292
00:15:24,825 --> 00:15:26,794
DICK SOLOMON'S LINE.
WHO'S CALLING PLEASE?
293
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:29,830
THIS IS LOUELLA FROM
THE DEAN'S OFFICE.
294
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,865
PLEASE TELL DR. SOLOMON
WE NEED COPIES
295
00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:34,868
OF ALL PAST
PURCHASE ORDERS FOR
THE PAST 18 MONTHS.
296
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:37,437
UH, UH,
PURCHASE ORDERS?
297
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:39,907
YES. I DROPPED THEM
OFF THIS MORNING.
298
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,142
YOU NEVER DROPPED
THOSE OFF, YOU LYING--
299
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,410
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
YOU WEREN'T EVEN
THERE.
300
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,912
I CAN TELL JUST
BY LOOKING AT YOU!
301
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,279
I CAN'T WORK
LIKE THIS!
302
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,515
OBVIOUSLY NOT.
303
00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:48,482
SUCH MISTRUST!
304
00:15:48,516 --> 00:15:49,349
WELL, GET OUT THEN!
305
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,685
FINE! I WILL!
306
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,456
NOT SO EASY,
IS IT, DICK?
307
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,391
ON THE CONTRARY.
308
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,028
ALL I HAVE
TO DO NOW IS...
309
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:04,798
TAKE DR. SOLOMON'S
EXAM TO HIS
10:00 CLASS.
310
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,136
WELL, THERE'S
ONLY ONE HERE.
311
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,138
I HAVE 30 STUDENTS.
312
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:14,808
WELL, THAT'S FUNNY.
THEY USUALLY DUPLICATE
THEMSELVES.
313
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:20,247
NO, WAIT. NINA ALWAYS
MADE THE COPIES.
314
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,250
OH...NINA MADE
THE COPIES, HUH?
315
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,519
THEN I CAN MAKE
THE COPIES.
316
00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:28,088
I'LL JUST TAKE
THIS PAPER
317
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,023
AND WALK
OUT THIS DOOR
318
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:33,260
AND, UH, TURN
TO THE, UH...
319
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,494
RIGHT.
YES...
320
00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:36,063
I KNEW THAT...
321
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,466
AND THEN WALK RIGHT
INTO THE, UH...
322
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,002
THIRD DOOR
ON THE LEFT.
323
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:44,237
DON'T PATRONIZE ME.
324
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:50,143
IT SAYS "XEROX"
ON IT.
325
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,645
OBVIOUSLY.
326
00:16:55,248 --> 00:17:00,654
OK. I PUT THIS
UNDER HERE...
327
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:02,422
PRESS THIS...
328
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,793
ENTER THE NUMBER 30,
AND...START.
329
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:09,129
[WHIRRING]
330
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,298
PIECE OF CAKE.
331
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,866
[WHIRRING
STOPS SUDDENLY]
332
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,705
"PAPER JAM."
333
00:17:17,738 --> 00:17:20,140
OK...FINE.
334
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,475
I JUST PRESS THIS...
335
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,145
OPEN THIS...
336
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,447
REMOVE THE PAPER...
337
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,818
PRESS THIS...
AND...START.
338
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,022
UH, "SEE KEY OPERATOR."
339
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:38,091
WELL, THAT'S ME.
I'M OPERATING THE KEYS.
340
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:41,729
ME! DAMN YOU!
341
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:44,331
I'M GONNA PRESS CANCEL.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
342
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,266
'CAUSE I'LL DO IT.
I'LL PRESS IT.
343
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,468
START! START!
344
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,738
DAMN YOU!
345
00:17:50,771 --> 00:17:54,241
FINE. THAT DOES IT!
START!
346
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:57,110
I'M GONNA BEAT
YOU WITH YOUR OWN
TONER CARTRIDGE!
347
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,121
THERE'S MY DADDY.
348
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,691
THERE'S MY DADDY!
349
00:18:10,724 --> 00:18:13,894
DICK?
350
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,863
DICK?
351
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:17,631
HER DADDY'S NOT HERE.
352
00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:19,499
HER DADDY'S
A BAD MAN.
353
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,873
[DOORBELL RINGS]
354
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,113
[GASPS] DR. SOLOMON!
355
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:37,250
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU?
356
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:41,588
OH, NINA,
I WAS SO WRONG.
357
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,890
I THOUGHT
I DIDN'T NEED
ANYONE,
358
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,124
BUT I DO!
I NEED YOU!
359
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,525
GET OFF THE CARPET.
360
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,059
OH.
361
00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:49,429
AAH! DON'T SIT THERE!
362
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,132
NINA...
363
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:54,234
NINA, YOUR PLACE
IS BEAUTIFUL.
364
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,169
OH, NO...
365
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:57,771
WHERE ARE YOUR
FILE CABINETS?
366
00:18:57,805 --> 00:19:00,607
YOUR PENCIL SHARPENERS?
YOUR OFFICE FURNITURE?
367
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,544
YOU THINK THE ONLY
NINA YOU SEE EXISTS
IN THE OFFICE?
368
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,112
YOU'RE WRONG.
369
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,613
THERE'S
ANOTHER NINA.
370
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,817
WILL SHE WORK FOR ME?
371
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:11,551
YOU DON'T RESPECT
ME, DR. SOLOMON.
372
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,619
IF YOU WANT ME
TO WORK FOR YOU,
373
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:13,721
I NEED YOUR RESPECT.
374
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:16,056
NINA, I RESPECT YOU.
375
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,190
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
376
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:21,294
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO,
CRAWL ON MY HANDS AND KNEES?
377
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,395
OK, YOU RESPECT ME!
378
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,831
OK, OK, OK!
I'LL COME BACK!
379
00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:26,199
OH, NINA, THANK YOU!
380
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,140
I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.
381
00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:36,276
BUT...
382
00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:41,815
WHAT A GYP!
383
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,583
ALL I WANTED WAS
A NORMAL CHILDHOOD,
384
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,819
BUT DICK JUST
COULDN'T LET ME
HAVE ONE.
385
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,755
I FELT SO HUMILIATED.
386
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:50,090
MM. I BET WHEN
YOU LOOKED OUT
INTO THAT AUDIENCE
387
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,591
AND DIDN'T SEE
DICK THERE,
388
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,193
YOU FELT LIKE
YOUR HEART WAS
TORN UP.
389
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,227
YEAH.
YEAH.
390
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,963
AND YOU FELT
BETRAYED AND ALONE.
391
00:19:55,996 --> 00:19:56,930
UH-HUH.
392
00:19:56,964 --> 00:19:58,799
AND NOW, YOU'RE
PRETTY MUCH DAMAGED
FOR LIFE
393
00:19:58,832 --> 00:20:00,667
AND YOU'LL
NEVER TRUST ANYONE
EVER AGAIN, RIGHT?
394
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,935
EXACTLY.
395
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,871
WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS,
SALLY.
396
00:20:03,904 --> 00:20:08,141
YOU'VE JUST TAKEN
YOUR FIRST STEP
INTO CHILDHOOD.
397
00:20:08,175 --> 00:20:09,176
I HAVE?
398
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,411
YEAH. AND NOW
YOU TAKE ALL THIS
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
399
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,782
AND LET IT FEED
YOUR ADULT NEUROSES.
400
00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:17,184
THE BEST PART
IS THAT IF YOU
EVER KILL A GUY
401
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:21,554
OR BALLOON UP
TO 400 POUNDS, YOU
GET TO BLAME DICK.
402
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:25,658
SALLY! SALLY!
403
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,595
I'M SO SORRY
I MISSED YOUR
RECITAL.
404
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,133
GOOD. UM...
THANKS, DICK.
405
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:34,201
WHAT FOR?
406
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,669
WELL, YOU'VE GIVEN
ME THE MOST PRECIOUS
GIFT OF ALL:
407
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,406
EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
408
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,473
THANKS.
409
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:41,674
YOU'RE WELCOME.
410
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,211
NOW I GOTTA
GO EAT
411
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,015
I'M SORRY, HARRY.
412
00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:49,482
I THOUGHT I DIDN'T
NEED ANYONE.
413
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:52,385
I THOUGHT I COULD
DO EVERYTHING
BY MYSELF.
414
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,288
IT TURNS OUT
I WAS WRONG.
I DO NEED SOMEONE.
415
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,990
JUST NOT YOU.
416
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,795
WELL, IT TAKES A BIG MAN
TO ADMIT THAT.
417
00:21:01,829 --> 00:21:03,163
GUESS IT JUST GOES
TO SHOW YOU,
418
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,565
YOU CAN'T WORK
WITH YOUR FAMILY.
419
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,868
BUT, TECHNICALLY,
WE'RE NOT A FAMILY.
420
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:09,269
WE'RE MORE LIKE
CO-WORKERS.
421
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,570
WELL, IT JUST
GOES TO SHOW
422
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:14,875
YOU CAN'T
WORK WITH YOUR
CO-WORKERS.
423
00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:17,410
ISN'T THAT THE MOTTO
OF THE POSTAL SERVICE?
424
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,056
OK, DICK, THIS
IS HOW IT WORKS.
425
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:30,924
YOU PUT
THE PAPER
IN THERE...
I DID THAT.
426
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,592
PRESS
THIS BUTTON.
I DID THAT.
427
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,626
IT SHOULD WORK.
428
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,195
THERE--
"PAPER JAM."
429
00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:37,630
NOT A PROBLEM.
OK...PULL
THIS OUT...
430
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:41,068
I DID THAT.
PRESS THIS
BUTTON...
431
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:43,636
IT'S NOT
WORKING.
432
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:44,872
WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH
THIS?!
433
00:21:44,905 --> 00:21:46,573
DAMN IT!
434
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,609
HERE.
STUPID...
435
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:54,915
HARDER!
30365
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