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1
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,210
GOOD MORNING,
HARRY.
2
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,111
WHAT ARE
YOU EATING?
3
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,180
NEW CEREAL.
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,249
"MONOPOLY"?
5
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:19,554
FINALLY, A CEREAL
ABOUT REAL ESTATE.
6
00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:21,790
UH, HARRY,
THAT'S A GAME,
LIKE "LIFE."
7
00:00:21,823 --> 00:00:24,025
LIFE'S A CEREAL, TOO.
8
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:25,059
AND A MAGAZINE.
9
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:25,927
AND A BOWL
OF CHERRIES,
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,095
BUT THAT DOESN'T
CHANGE THE FACT
11
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:30,298
THAT YOU'RE
EATING LITTLE
PLASTIC HOUSES.
12
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,332
PLASTIC, NO.
13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,734
THESE HOUSES
ARE JUST STALE.
14
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,507
STALE PLASTIC.
15
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,810
SALLY, DID YOU
TAKE MY BLUE SUIT
TO THE DRY CLEANERS?
16
00:00:41,843 --> 00:00:42,911
OH, NO. IT WAS
TOO EXPENSIVE,
17
00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:44,846
SO I DRY-CLEANED IT
MYSELF. HERE.
18
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,752
I THINK I MAY HAVE
SANDED OFF A BUTTON, BUT...
19
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,353
YOU RUINED
THIS SUIT!
20
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,588
I KNEW YOU WERE
GOING TO SAY THAT.
21
00:00:53,622 --> 00:00:56,457
MARY WANTS ME TO WEAR
THIS TO OUR PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
22
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,792
WAIT. DON'T YOU MEAN
HER PARTY?
23
00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,494
NO, OURS.
IT'S THE FIRST PARTY
WE'RE HOSTING TOGETHER!
24
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,597
SO EXACTLY WHICH PART
OF THE PARTY IS YOURS?
25
00:01:02,631 --> 00:01:05,734
OH, I'M IN CHARGE
OF THE HORS D'OEUVRES.
26
00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:07,435
I'VE CHOSEN
MINIATURE EGG ROLLS.
27
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,938
OH. WELL, YOU KNOW
BROWN GOES WITH EGG ROLLS.
28
00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:11,472
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
YOUR BROWN SUIT?
29
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,907
NO. MARY WANTS THE BLUE!
30
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:15,276
IF MARY WANTS THE BLUE,
MARY GETS THE BLUE.
31
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,179
UH, PERMISSION
TO STATE THE OBVIOUS,
HIGH COMMANDER?
32
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,013
PERMISSION GRANTED.
33
00:01:19,047 --> 00:01:21,215
YOU ARE SO WHIPPED.
34
00:01:25,654 --> 00:01:26,420
EXCUSE ME?
35
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,156
YEAH, DICK.
WHIPPED LIKE PUDDIN'.
36
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,092
PUDDING WHIPPED?
37
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,728
I AM NOT PUDDING WHIPPED!
38
00:01:33,762 --> 00:01:35,529
THAT WOMAN TELLS YOU
HOW TO ACT.
39
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:36,330
AND WHAT TO SAY.
40
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,265
AND WHAT TO THINK.
41
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,032
AND HOW TO ACT.
42
00:01:38,066 --> 00:01:38,800
I SAID THAT.
43
00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,501
I KNOW.
I JUST WANTED IN.
44
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,070
I WILL SAY THIS ONCE
AND ONCE ONLY.
45
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:44,572
I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER,
AND NOBODY HAS CONTROL
OVER MY LIFE,
46
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,207
ESPECIALLY MARY.
IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?
47
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,175
All: YES, SIR.
48
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,010
GOOD. SALLY, POUR ME
A CUP OF COFFEE
49
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:50,044
AND A BOWL
OF MONOPOLY.
50
00:01:50,078 --> 00:01:51,579
BUT, SIR--
51
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,182
UH-UH-UH-UH. UH-UH.
52
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,950
THE HIGH COMMANDER
HAS SPOKEN.
53
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,166
NINA, DO YOU THINK
I'M...
54
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,334
WHIPPED?
55
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,339
WHIPPED?
56
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,641
I--I--I KNOW.
IT'S CRAZY.
57
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,209
BY DR. ALBRIGHT?
58
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:59,213
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
59
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,314
DR. SOLOMON...
60
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,116
YES, NINA?
61
00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:07,455
YOU ARE WRAPPED AROUND
THAT WOMAN'S FINGER
LIKE A YO-YO.
62
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,091
AND SHE IS ALWAYS
WALKIN' THE DOG.
63
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,796
MARY, WE NEED TO TALK.
64
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:16,898
CAN IT WAIT?
I'M LATE FOR CLASS.
65
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,699
I WILL NOT BE WEARING
MY BLUE SUIT
66
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,268
TO OUR PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.
67
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,703
THAT'S OK.
68
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,438
YOU'RE POSITIVE?
IT'S ALL RIGHT?
69
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,339
SURE.
70
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,507
OH, GREAT.
71
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,209
THAT'S GREAT!
72
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,510
I'LL WEAR MY BROWN SUIT.
73
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,212
AH, NO, NO, NO.
74
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:35,383
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
YOUR BLUE BLAZER AND KHAKIS?
75
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,252
OK.
76
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:41,289
AND YOU REALLY
SHOULD GET A HAIRCUT
BEFORE TOMORROW NIGHT.
77
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:41,923
YOU CAN GO AT LUNCH.
78
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:44,558
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT!
79
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,360
I'LL GO AT 2:00.
80
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,001
DAMN!
81
00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:55,036
1, 2, 3, 4--
82
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,337
HEY, YOU'RE NOT
THE TOP HAT.
83
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,839
I'M THE TOP HAT.
YOU'RE THE BOOT.
84
00:03:57,872 --> 00:03:58,739
I'M NOT THE BOOT.
85
00:03:58,773 --> 00:03:59,974
HARRY,
WHO'S THE BOOT?
86
00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,609
SALLY SAID THAT SHE
WANTED TO BE THE BOOT
87
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,980
BECAUSE IT REMINDED HER
OF A BOOT.
88
00:04:06,014 --> 00:04:07,615
FINE,
I'M A BOOT.
89
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:11,252
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
COMMUNITY CHEST.
90
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,721
"YOU HAVE WON SECOND PRIZE
IN A BEAUTY CONTEST.
91
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,722
COLLECT $10."
92
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,960
OOH, $10. YOU
MUST BE REAL PRETTY.
93
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,996
YEAH, PRETTY CLOSE
TO OWNING YOUR KNOBBY BUTT.
94
00:04:22,030 --> 00:04:24,598
NOW ROLL THE DICE,
YOU LONG-HAIRED ALIEN FREAK.
95
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,036
9.
96
00:04:28,069 --> 00:04:30,771
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9.
97
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,342
Harry: "GO TO JAIL."
98
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,710
GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.
99
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:37,846
DO NOT PASS GO.
100
00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:39,780
DO NOT COLLECT $200,
101
00:04:39,814 --> 00:04:42,516
AND DO NOT,
I REPEAT, DO NOT
102
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,852
DROP THE SOAP.
103
00:04:48,056 --> 00:04:51,826
AND SO YOU WILL SEE THAT
"A" EQUALS DV OVER DT,
104
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,061
WHICH EQUALS "D"
OVER DT ENCLOSED--
105
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:55,663
[LAUGHTER]
106
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,598
OH, GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU FIND
107
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,533
NEWTON'S LAWS
IN VECTOR NOTATION
108
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:02,703
AS HILARIOUSLY
MISCONCEIVED AS I DO.
109
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,805
THAT'S NOT WHY
THEY'RE LAUGHING,
DR. SOLOMON.
110
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,775
THEY'RE LAUGHING
BECAUSE OF THIS.
111
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,177
A WOMAN
IN A COCKTAIL DRESS?
112
00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:10,644
TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN.
113
00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:17,785
OH, MY!
114
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,887
I'M SORRY.
115
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,623
I'LL HAVE TO CONFISCATE THIS
UNTIL I'M THROUGH WITH IT.
116
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,658
DR. SOLOMON.
I NEED THAT BACK.
117
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,160
IT'S FOR MY BROTHER'S
BACHELOR PARTY.
118
00:05:26,194 --> 00:05:27,028
BACHELOR PARTY?
119
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,029
HE'S GETTING MARRIED
120
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:31,199
AND ALL THE GUYS
ARE TAKING HIM
TO A STRIP CLUB.
121
00:05:31,232 --> 00:05:32,300
STRIP CLUB?
122
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,169
ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS.
123
00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:36,637
WHY WASN'T I INVITED?
124
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,473
BUT, DR. SOLOMON,
IT'S JUST A PATHETIC EXCUSE
125
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,943
FOR GUYS TO GET TOGETHER
AND BEHAVE LIKE PIGS.
126
00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,545
SO WHY WASN'T I INVITED?
127
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,381
WELL, DR. SOLOMON,
WE JUST DIDN'T THINK
THAT MAYBE YOU--
128
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,416
YOU THINK THAT
I'M TOO WHIPPED
129
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,052
TO GO TO YOUR
TWISTED LITTLE SOIREE?
130
00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,286
SORRY, DR. SOLOMON,
BUT--
131
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,189
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
JUST TELL ME WHERE IT IS
AND I'LL BE THERE.
132
00:05:55,223 --> 00:05:58,826
WELL, UM, WE DON'T EXACTLY
HAVE A TIME SET--
133
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,262
YEAH, WE'RE NOT
REALLY EVEN SURE
WHAT THE WIND AND--
134
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:06,400
8:00 TOMORROW NIGHT.
135
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,636
WELL, HE WAS STARING
RIGHT AT ME.
136
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,206
FRIDAY NIGHT, 8:00.
137
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,209
ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS.
138
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:22,083
OW!
139
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:22,883
OW!
140
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:24,552
OW! AAH!
141
00:06:28,957 --> 00:06:32,593
NEXT TIME
MY ANSWER IS PAPER.
142
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,628
OH, DICK, WOULD YOU
DO ME A FAVOR?
143
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:38,132
TOMORROW NIGHT
WOULD YOU KEEP AN EYE
ON SAUL TALBERT?
144
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,501
LAST PARTY, I THINK
HE TRIED ON SOME
OF MY TEDDIES.
145
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,236
THEY WERE STRETCHED OUT
AND SCRUNCHED UP.
146
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,873
DON'T OPEN THOSE.
147
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,809
I WANT THEM FRESH
FOR THE TAPENADE.
148
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,612
IF I HAD SOMETHING
I HAD TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT,
149
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:52,613
SOMETHING ELSE,
150
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,682
YOU'D UNDERSTAND,
WOULDN'T YOU?
151
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,051
DICK, WE'VE BEEN
PLANNING THIS PARTY
FOR WEEKS.
152
00:06:57,085 --> 00:06:58,886
ALL YOUR BORING
PHYSICS FRIENDS
ARE COMING.
153
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:03,257
WELL, BUT IT--
BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY--
AN EMERGENCY BACHELOR PARTY
154
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,725
AT ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS.
155
00:07:07,028 --> 00:07:07,928
WHO'S GETTING MARRIED?
156
00:07:07,962 --> 00:07:09,397
BUG'S BROTHER FRED.
157
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,400
OR FRANK OR SOMETHING.
158
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,801
YOU'RE GOING
TO ABANDON ME
159
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,237
TO GO TO A PARTY
FOR SOMEONE YOU
DON'T EVEN KNOW?
160
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,605
PITMAN'S GOING.
161
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,573
THIS WHOLE PARTY
WAS YOUR IDEA!
162
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,274
NO, IT WASN'T.
163
00:07:20,308 --> 00:07:20,908
YES, IT WAS!
164
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,710
YES, IT WAS!
NO, IT WASN'T!
165
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,378
WE WERE
AT THE SEA SHANTY
WITH THE SULLIVANS.
166
00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:26,547
YOU WERE HAVING
CRAB CAKES,
WHICH YOU HATED.
167
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,748
THEY SANG
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
168
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,882
TO THE KID
AT THE NEXT TABLE.
169
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,019
YOU JUMPED UP
AND SAID, "I WANT
TO HAVE A PARTY, TOO!"
170
00:07:31,052 --> 00:07:33,554
THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!
171
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,523
DICK,
THIS IS YOUR PARTY.
172
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,725
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME
ALONE WITH THOSE
PHYSICS GUYS.
173
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,093
I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO THEM!
174
00:07:39,127 --> 00:07:42,696
FINE!
I'LL BE HERE!
175
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,432
WHO NEEDS FUN ANYWAY?
176
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,939
I WANT TENNESSEE.
177
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,775
YOU ALREADY OWN THE RAILROADS
AND ALL THE UTILITIES.
178
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:59,413
I NEED TENNESSEE.
I NEED IT BAD.
179
00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:02,450
YOU JUST NEED TO BE
THE BIG MAN, DON'T YOU?
180
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,052
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
TOMMY?
181
00:08:04,085 --> 00:08:05,753
IT'S THE LITTLE ONES...
182
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:09,157
THE ONES WHO LABORED TO
BUILD HOUSES ON THE BALTICS
AND THE MEDITERRANEANS,
183
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:12,126
THE ONES WHO
PAY SCHOOL TAXES
AND PROPERTY TAXES,
184
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,862
THE ONES WHO ARE HAPPY
JUST TO GET A BANK ERROR
IN THEIR FAVOR,
185
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,165
THEY'RE THE ONES, TOMMY,
186
00:08:17,198 --> 00:08:19,567
THE ONES WHO OWN
THIS COUNTRY!
187
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,070
I'LL GIVE YOU $400 AND MY
"GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD.
188
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:23,637
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
189
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,542
I HAVE MADE
A COMMAND DECISION.
190
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,711
I AM NO LONGER
WHIPPED.
191
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,712
GOOD FOR YOU.
192
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,847
I'M TIRED OF FEELING
LIKE A CATHOLIC
SCHOOLBOY,
193
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:37,385
ALWAYS GETTING
HIS KNUCKLES RAPPED
BY THE NUN HE'S DATING.
194
00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:40,821
SO WHAT'S
SISTER MARY ALBRIGHT
GONNA SAY TO THAT?
195
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,223
SHE'LL JUST
HAVE TO ACCEPT IT
196
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,225
BECAUSE I'M THE MAN.
197
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:45,659
I'M STRONGER
THAN SHE IS.
198
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,328
I HAVE A LARGER CRANIUM.
199
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,263
I'M FAR MORE LIKELY
TO GO TO PRISON.
200
00:08:49,297 --> 00:08:51,665
I'M A MAN!
201
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:53,267
NOW IF I COULD
JUST FIND SOMEONE
WHO CAN TEACH ME
202
00:08:53,301 --> 00:08:55,503
HOW TO ACT LIKE ONE.
203
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,238
TOMMY?
204
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,009
I'M SORRY.
205
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,477
BUT BEFORE YOU TEACH HIM
HOW TO BE A MAN,
206
00:09:03,511 --> 00:09:06,847
SHOULDN'T YOU GET
AUGUST'S PERMISSION FIRST?
207
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,584
SHE TOLD ME
NOT TO CALL HER
UNTIL AFTER DINNER.
208
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,421
PROBLEM IS THAT YOU'VE BOTH
HAD YOUR MASCULINE ENERGY
209
00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:17,125
SAPPED BY
BLONDE SHIKSA GODDESSES.
210
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:20,894
GUESS THAT MAKES ME
THE ONLY REAL MAN
IN THE ROOM.
211
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,168
NOT EVEN SALLY
COULD MAKE THAT CLAIM.
212
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,702
THAT'S TRUE.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
213
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:29,470
WHO, ME?
214
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,473
[BELCHES]
215
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:37,245
BY KEEPING IT REAL,
DICK.
216
00:09:37,278 --> 00:09:38,579
KEEPING IT REAL.
217
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:41,615
YOU THINK
YOU COULD HELP ME?
218
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,016
FOLLOW ME.
219
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:52,560
SO, UM, YOU WANNA WATCH
THE PENCIL-NECKED
LEADING THE HENPECKED?
220
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,663
SO I TAKE IT
YOU'RE FORFEITING.
221
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,466
'CAUSE EITHER YOU'RE
ROLLING THESE DICE
OR YOU'RE FORFEITING.
222
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,604
HAH! FREE PARKING, LOSER!
223
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,972
DAMN!
224
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,809
FIRST OF ALL,
YOU NEED A MANLY NAME.
225
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,778
DICK IS SO...GIRLY.
226
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,918
YOU NEED SOMETHING HIP,
SOMETHING SEXY.
227
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,720
SOMETHING THAT SAYS
"I'M A REAL MAN."
228
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,589
SOMETHING LIKE...
229
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,823
MANNY.
230
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,263
HARLEY.
231
00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:31,932
TUBBY.
232
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,603
BATMAN.
233
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:36,737
HOW ABOUT...
234
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,038
SOLO-MONE?
235
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,241
OOH! I LIKE THAT!
236
00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:42,643
DICK SOLO-MONE.
237
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,446
HI. I'M DICK SOLO-MONE.
238
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,682
HOW MUCH
ARE THOSE PLIERS?
239
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:51,485
NO! NO!
240
00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:54,154
DON'T LOOK
AT YOUR FINGERNAILS
LIKE THAT.
241
00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:56,257
IT'S NOT MANLY.
242
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,792
THIS WAY.
243
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,794
MANLY.
244
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,596
NOT MANLY.
245
00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:04,265
VERY MANLY.
246
00:11:04,298 --> 00:11:05,233
MANLY, NO.
247
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:06,600
MANLY, YES.
248
00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:11,004
HOW ABOUT SCRATCHING?
249
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,073
OUTSIDE THE PANTS?
MANLY.
250
00:11:17,278 --> 00:11:18,579
INSIDE THE PANTS?
251
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,113
TOO MANLY.
252
00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:24,184
THIS IS SO HARD, HARRY.
253
00:11:24,218 --> 00:11:26,053
HOW DOES A REAL MAN
KNOW WHAT TO DO?
254
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,689
OH! LOOK DEEP
INSIDE YOURSELF.
255
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:33,394
FIND YOUR
PRIMAL INSTINCTS.
256
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:36,897
[GRUNTING]
257
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,535
GRRR...
258
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:43,036
NOW LET IT COME OUT.
259
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:43,804
SLOWLY.
260
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,773
GRRR...
261
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:49,142
GRRR...
262
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,946
NOW LET IT GO!
LET IT GO!
263
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,682
HEY, BABY,
WHAT'S SHAKIN'?
264
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:01,922
THERE YOU GO.
265
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,156
NOW...
266
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,793
WALK THE WALK.
267
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,632
NOW TALK THE TALK.
268
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:14,268
HEY, MAMA.
269
00:12:14,302 --> 00:12:15,269
I GOT ANTS
IN MY PANTS,
270
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:19,039
AND THEY MAKE ME
DO THE HULA DANCE.
271
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:19,773
YOU DA MAN.
272
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:20,874
NO, YOU DA MAN.
NO, YOU DA MAN.
273
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,810
NO, YOU DA MAN.
NO, YOU DA MAN.
274
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,312
DAMN IT, HARRY,
I'M THE HIGH COMMANDER!
275
00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:28,181
IF I SAY YOU DA MAN,
YOU DA MAN!
276
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,050
OK, OK.
277
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,552
I'M DA MAN.
278
00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:46,367
HELLO, LADIES.
279
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,968
HEY, JUDITH.
280
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,471
DO THOSE FRIES
COME WITH SOUP?
281
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,676
I'D SUE HIM IF I KNEW
WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.
282
00:12:58,346 --> 00:13:00,581
OW!
283
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,716
HEY...DID IT HURT?
284
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:03,851
WHAT?
285
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,819
WHEN YOU FELL
FROM HEAVEN?
286
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,088
OHH!
287
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,290
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
288
00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:13,894
THAT'S THE SCENT
OF A MAN...
289
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,463
AND BRUT.
290
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,774
GO HOME
AND TAKE A SHOWER.
291
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,308
USE STEEL WOOL.
292
00:13:28,342 --> 00:13:29,510
THE PARTY'S TONIGHT.
293
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:32,045
WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK I'M COMING
TO OUR LITTLE PARTY?
294
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:36,149
THIS EL DORADO
IS LEAVING FOR
ROY'S HOUSE OF CLASS.
295
00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:41,855
IS THIS A TEST TO SEE
HOW PISSED I COULD GET?
296
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,792
OH, COME ON, MARY.
YOU CAN'T RUN MY LIFE.
297
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:48,095
YOUR WHAT?
I HAVE TO BE
MY OWN MAN!
298
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,064
FINE. GO AHEAD.
299
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,466
GO TO THE HOUSE OF CLASS.
300
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:58,739
LEAVE ME ALONE
TO ENTERTAIN YOUR FRIENDS.
301
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:02,042
THAT WAS EASIER
THAN I THOUGHT.
302
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,243
OH!
303
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,315
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.
304
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,349
YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME
MARVIN GARDENS,
305
00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:10,851
I'M GIVING YOU
WATERWORKS
AND ST. CHARLES.
306
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:11,719
I DON'T WANT
WATERWORKS.
307
00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:13,353
I'M GIVING YOU
WATERWORKS,
ST. CHARLES,
308
00:14:13,387 --> 00:14:14,855
I'M GIVING YOU $200.
YOU'RE TAKING THE DEAL.
309
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:15,889
I'M NOT TAKING THE DEAL.
310
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,057
$400! TAKE THE DEAL!
311
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,926
$500!
DEAL!
312
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,594
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
THIS DEAL.
313
00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:30,037
TOMMY, DICK AND I ARE GOING
TO THE BACHELOR PARTY.
314
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:30,971
YOU WANNA COME?
315
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,406
DOES IT LOOK
LIKE I HAVE TIME
FOR STRIPPERS?
316
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,109
I'M PLAYING
FREAKIN' MONOPOLY HERE!
317
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,177
COME ON, HARRY.
318
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:41,749
LET'S MAKE LIKE
A BANANA SPLIT
AND LEAVE.
319
00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:44,351
BOY, DON'T YOU
LOOK STUPID.
320
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,385
YOU'RE JUST UPSET
321
00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:46,854
'CAUSE YOU HAVE
TO BE PRETENDING
TO BE MY SISTER
322
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,357
AND CAN'T GET ANY PLAY.
323
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,826
YEAH, RIGHT.
324
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:57,531
HEY, DICK, WHY DON'T YOU
SLIP ONE OF THESE
IN YOUR WALLET?
325
00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:59,366
MIGHT COME IN HANDY.
326
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,970
A MOIST TOWELETTE?
327
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,005
IN CASE
THEY SERVE RIBS.
328
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,645
[HOWLING]
329
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:13,681
OH, MY GOD,
I LOVE YOU!
330
00:15:13,714 --> 00:15:15,616
I LOVE YOU!
331
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:25,025
OK, DICK, THE THING
ABOUT THESE WOMEN IS
YOU GOTTA PLAY IT COOL.
332
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,395
JUST IGNORE 'EM.
PRETEND THEY'RE
NOT EVEN HERE.
333
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,531
CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
334
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,436
OH, MAN,
SOLOMON'S HERE.
335
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,572
HI THERE.
336
00:15:38,606 --> 00:15:40,273
WELL, HELLO,
337
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,409
HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO BUY A BOTTLE
OF CHAMPAGNE?
338
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,677
HOW MUCH?
339
00:15:43,711 --> 00:15:44,845
$75.
340
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,648
WHAT, FOR A BOTTLE
OF CHAMPAGNE?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
341
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,449
HOW ABOUT IF I SIT DOWN
AND DRINK IT WITH YOU?
342
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:53,286
WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD
BUY IT YOURSELF.
343
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,322
AT LEAST PAY FOR HALF.
344
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,161
ROLL THE DICE.
345
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,329
I'M DOWN
TO NOTHING, TOMMY.
346
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,031
I GOTTA PASS GO.
347
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,634
SALLY, THE DICE
ARE GONNA DO WHAT
THEY'RE GONNA DO.
348
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,135
LET 'EM FLY.
349
00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:12,606
BOARDWALK.
350
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,776
NOOOOOOO!
351
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,311
WITH A HOTEL,
THAT'S $2,000.
352
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,614
I ONLY GOT $600, TOMMY.
353
00:16:20,648 --> 00:16:22,750
$600.
354
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:23,684
MORTGAGE
ANOTHER PROPERTY.
355
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,385
I MORTGAGED 'EM ALL.
356
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,054
REALLY?
357
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,656
WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
358
00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,591
THAT MEANS I LOST?
359
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:31,124
NO.
360
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:31,759
NO?
361
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,794
IT MEANS I WON!
362
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,530
I WON!
363
00:16:36,564 --> 00:16:38,098
OH, YOU'RE THE WARRIOR.
364
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,299
YOU THINK
YOU CAN WIN ANYTHING,
365
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,901
BUT NOT THIS TIME,
PALLY!
366
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,136
THIS TIME
YOU'RE THE LOSER!
367
00:16:44,872 --> 00:16:46,740
OH, SALLY, SALLY,
368
00:16:46,774 --> 00:16:48,041
AND YOU KNOW
WHAT THE BEST PART IS?
369
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:48,909
WHAT?
370
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:51,845
THE LOSER CLEANS UP.
371
00:16:54,782 --> 00:16:57,317
FINE.
372
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,018
WHAT ARE YOU--
373
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,721
HEY.
374
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,490
[GARBAGE DISPOSAL GRINDING]
375
00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:09,897
HEY, THAT FELT GOOD.
376
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,079
OH, YEAH, YEAH!
377
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,915
YOU'RE A WOMAN,
YOU'RE HALF NAKED.
378
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:32,385
I'M A GUY.
YEAH, I GET IT.
379
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,687
ARE YOU ENJOYING
YOURSELF?
380
00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:35,889
OH, YEAH.
381
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:37,490
YOU THINK WE'VE
PARTIED LONG ENOUGH?
382
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,426
OH, YEAH.
383
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,794
WE'VE BEEN HERE
ALMOST--
384
00:17:40,828 --> 00:17:44,197
WOW. 12 MINUTES.
385
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:45,599
HOW LONG
DO YOU THINK
WE HAVE TO STAY
386
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:48,068
SO THESE GUYS
DON'T THINK WE'RE,
UH, YOU KNOW.
387
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:48,636
WOMEN?
YEAH.
388
00:17:48,669 --> 00:17:51,905
5 SECONDS.
389
00:17:51,939 --> 00:17:52,505
OH, YEAH!
390
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,040
WALK THAT AROUND.
391
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,974
SHAKE THAT THING.
392
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:54,608
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
393
00:17:54,642 --> 00:17:56,677
COME TO PAPA, OW!
394
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,846
OW!
395
00:17:58,879 --> 00:18:00,547
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
396
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:05,152
UH-HUH.
397
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:05,552
UH-UH.
398
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,755
UH-HUH.
399
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:10,123
MARY, SETTLE
THIS ONE FOR US.
400
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,425
WHO IS THE MORE
ORIGINAL PHYSICIST?
401
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,128
NIELS BOHR
OR MAX PLANCK?
402
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:18,932
PLANCK.
403
00:18:18,966 --> 00:18:20,433
DEFINITELY PLANCK.
404
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,703
THERE'S SO MUCH FOOD HERE,
IT'S LIKE A WHITE HOLE
405
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:26,273
AND THE BLACK HOLE
IS AT THE A&P.
406
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:26,974
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
407
00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:28,475
GREAT.
408
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:32,746
THESE ARE THE
DULLEST PEOPLE I
HAVE EVER MET.
409
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:38,085
THEY MAKE MY MOTHER
LOOK LIKE RIP TAYLOR.
410
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:43,390
GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GO WAKE UP.
411
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,092
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
412
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,459
EXCUSE ME.
413
00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:49,930
HELLO, MARY.
414
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,032
OH, DICK,
WHAT A SURPRISE.
415
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:56,670
I'D INVITE YOU IN,
BUT THERE'S NO ONE TAKING
THEIR CLOTHES OFF IN HERE.
416
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:58,305
OF COURSE, AT THIS POINT
ANYTHING WOULD HELP.
417
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,941
MARY, I'M BACK,
AND I'M WILLING
TO FORGIVE YOU
418
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,276
FOR TRYING
TO RUN MY LIFE.
419
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,377
GOOD-BYE, DICK.
420
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,879
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
421
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:11,651
MARY, WHAT I MEANT WAS,
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR REACTING SO POORLY
422
00:19:11,685 --> 00:19:14,154
WHEN YOU TRIED
TO RUN MY LIFE.
423
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,456
NO, NO, NO, NO, MARY,
PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME.
424
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,793
I--I'M SORRY.
I WAS ACTING
LIKE AN IDIOT.
425
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,461
I DIDN'T BELONG
AT THAT CLUB TONIGHT.
426
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,898
I BELONGED HERE
WITH YOU.
427
00:19:24,932 --> 00:19:26,533
CAN'T I COME IN?
428
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,701
DICK, IT WILL
BE A LONG TIME
429
00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:31,038
BEFORE I LET YOU
BACK INTO MY LIFE,
MUCH LESS MY HOUSE.
430
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,674
MARY, MARY.
431
00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:36,609
WE'RE ABOUT
TO PLAY A.P.C.
432
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:37,878
A.P.C.?
433
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,579
ASTROPHYSICS CHARADES.
434
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,517
OK, YOU'VE WAITED
LONG ENOUGH.
435
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,619
HI, EVERYONE.
436
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:52,960
WOW.
437
00:19:52,993 --> 00:19:55,162
WHAT A ROOM FULL
OF WEIRDOS.
438
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,669
SO, YOU TWO
TOGETHER?
439
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:08,108
OK, OK, READY.
440
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,076
BOOK?
441
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,243
TEXTBOOK?
442
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,812
JOURNAL?
443
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:13,113
THEORY?
444
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,849
24 WORDS.
445
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,717
Woman: FIRST WORD.
446
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:18,685
Man: SMALL WORD.
447
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,555
Second Man:
SECOND WORD.
448
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,625
THE NUMBER 2.
449
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,694
Man: SECOND WORD.
450
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,628
SKY?
451
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,496
COSMOS?
452
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,730
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH!
453
00:20:30,764 --> 00:20:32,833
BIG GIANT HEAD.
454
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:37,470
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
455
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:40,307
OH, OH, OH, ALIEN!
I'M AN ALIEN!
456
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,875
NO!
457
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:46,980
REVOLUTION?
458
00:20:47,014 --> 00:20:48,548
UH, INERTIA?
459
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,984
OH, OH, 2 CELESTIAL
BODIES OF EQUAL MASS
460
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:52,853
SHARING A SINGLE
GRAVITATIONAL FIELD
461
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:54,922
WILL EXHIBIT IDENTICAL
ROTATIONAL PROPERTIES
462
00:20:54,955 --> 00:20:57,190
FOR AS LONG AS THEIR
INERTIAL INTEGRITY
IS MAINTAINED.
463
00:20:57,224 --> 00:20:58,725
YES!
464
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,766
DICK, THIS--THIS IS
THE PHYSICS BLOWOUT
OF THE SEMESTER.
465
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,500
Dick: OK,
466
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:11,004
WHO'S UP FOR
QUANTUM PICTIONARY?
467
00:21:11,038 --> 00:21:13,340
MEN. YOU CAN'T
LIVE WITH 'EM.
468
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,746
GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
469
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,756
OK, PROFESSOR PLUM
470
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,994
DID IT IN THE LIBRARY
WITH A PILLOW.
471
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:35,228
A PILLOW?
472
00:21:35,262 --> 00:21:36,964
YOU CAN KILL SOMEONE
WITH A PILLOW.
473
00:21:36,997 --> 00:21:38,431
THERE'S NO PILLOW
IN CLUE.
474
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,767
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
SO INGENIOUS.
475
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,771
I'VE ELIMINATED THE LIBRARY
AND THE BILLIARD ROOM,
AND I'M PRETTY SURE--
476
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,574
HEY, TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS.
477
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,476
WHAT AM I DOING
PLAYING BOARD GAMES?
478
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:54,882
OH, MY.
31624
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