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1
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,679
COME ON, DICK. I WANT
TO GO TO THE MAGIC SHOP.
2
00:00:10,712 --> 00:00:13,047
HARRY, SALLY,
GO GET SOME CHANGE.
3
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,583
WE'LL WAIT HERE
WITH THE CAR.
4
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,022
OH, I GOTTA GET
SOME NEW SNEAKERS.
5
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,957
MY TOES ARE BURSTING OUT
OF THESE THINGS.
6
00:00:22,991 --> 00:00:25,059
I JUST BOUGHT YOU THOSE
THREE MONTHS AGO.
7
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,095
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FREAK,
DON'T YOU?
8
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,730
LEAVE ME ALONE.
I'M GROWING.
9
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:30,632
OH, IF IT WERE
JUST THE GROWING.
10
00:00:30,665 --> 00:00:34,202
BUT FOR EVERY INCH
YOU SPROUT, YOU BECOME
THAT MUCH MORE INSOLENT.
11
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,737
YOU DO THAT MUCH WORSE
IN SCHOOL.
12
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:36,705
SO WHAT?
13
00:00:36,738 --> 00:00:39,207
YOU'RE GONNA BECOME
THE WORLD'S TALLEST IDIOT.
14
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,142
WHY ARE YOU
ON MY CASE?
15
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,911
BECAUSE I CAN'T
STOMACH ANOTHER ONE
16
00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:46,214
OF THOSE INTERMINABLE
PARENT/TEACHER
CONFERENCES.
17
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,050
LOOK, I DID NOT ASK
TO BE THE TEENAGER, OK?
18
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,652
YOU MADE ME.
19
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:52,353
"LONE STAR
DRILLING COMPANY."
20
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,321
I'LL BET
THEY HAVE CHANGE.
21
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,389
YEAH.
OILMEN ARE RICH.
22
00:01:00,028 --> 00:01:01,663
WELL, CHECK YOU OUT.
23
00:01:01,696 --> 00:01:03,531
YOU LOOK JUST
LIKE A REAL WOMAN.
24
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,936
THANKS.
25
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:11,005
THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GOING FOR.
26
00:01:11,039 --> 00:01:13,241
I STILL CAN'T GET USED
TO THOSE MOOD SWINGS.
27
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,678
WAY TO COMMIT, GIRL.
28
00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:18,479
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
29
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,183
HELLO.
30
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:26,888
ARE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THE ART
OF ILLUSION?
31
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,257
HI THERE.
32
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,992
HI THERE.
33
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:32,827
COULD YOU CHANGE A DOLLAR?
34
00:01:32,861 --> 00:01:35,964
FOR YOU, I COULD
CHANGE ANYTHING.
35
00:01:35,997 --> 00:01:39,200
I DON'T SEE A LOT OF MEN
AS GOOD-LOOKING AS YOU.
36
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:42,070
I DON'T SEE A LOT OF MEN
AS GOOD-LOOKING AS YOU.
37
00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:52,080
WELL, WE'RE FABULOUS,
AREN'T WE?
38
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,381
OH, YEAH.
39
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,350
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
40
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,219
YOU GOT A VISITOR.
41
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,955
DR. SOLOMON,
I'M CANDACE BALLARD.
42
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,456
HELLO. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
43
00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:41,495
I'M TOMMY'S
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
44
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,430
BY THE WAY,
45
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,733
MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR
MIGHT STOP BY TONIGHT.
46
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,006
DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO BECOME
THE MODEL STUDENT?
47
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,407
I DID!
I'VE ACED EVERY TEST!
48
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,375
THEN WHAT'S SHE
DOING HERE?
49
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:58,346
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M BRILLIANT,
NOT CLAIRVOYANT.
50
00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,347
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK
51
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:03,017
YOU JUST ONCE MAKE ME
A PROUD FATHER?
52
00:03:03,051 --> 00:03:05,219
IT'S NOT MY MISSION
TO MAKE YOU PROUD.
53
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,187
IT IS IF I SAY SO.
54
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,321
IT IS NOT.
55
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,022
SAY IT'S YOUR MISSION.
56
00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:08,656
NO!
57
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,092
SAY IT! SAY IT!
58
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,661
IT'S MY MISSION.
59
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,064
IS EVERYTHING
ALL RIGHT?
60
00:03:16,097 --> 00:03:16,865
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
61
00:03:16,898 --> 00:03:17,766
THEN I'LL SEE YA.
62
00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:20,769
COME BACK IN HERE
AND SIT DOWN.
63
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,404
SIT DOWN.
64
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,539
THANK YOU.
65
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,440
GIVE ME YOUR COAT.
66
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,109
OK.
67
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:48,329
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN
IF YOU KEEP LETTING ME OUT?
68
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:57,806
WELL, I HAVE SOME NEWS.
69
00:03:57,839 --> 00:03:59,841
MAYBE YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.
70
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,147
TOMMY SCORED HIGHER
ON THE NATIONAL MERIT QUIZ
71
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,982
THAN ANYONE
IN OHIO'S HISTORY.
72
00:04:08,016 --> 00:04:09,250
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
73
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,986
NO. THAT'S A GOOD THING.
74
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,888
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
75
00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:16,825
YOU'VE RAISED
A VERY BRIGHT BOY.
76
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:19,193
SORRY. COULD YOU
REPEAT THAT?
77
00:04:19,227 --> 00:04:20,962
YOU'VE RAISED
A VERY BRIGHT BOY?
78
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:23,731
NO ONE'S EVER
SAID THAT TO ME BEFORE.
SAY IT AGAIN.
79
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,866
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO TALK--
80
00:04:24,899 --> 00:04:27,836
NO. JUST SAY IT.
I LOVE THAT,
THE BRIGHT BOY PART.
81
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,904
BRIGHT BOY.
82
00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,806
IN FACT,
HE'S DONE SO WELL,
83
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:33,241
I THINK HE SHOULD TRANSFER
84
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:36,010
TO THE PICKNEY COUNTRY
DAY SCHOOL FOR THE GIFTED.
85
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,514
BECAUSE I RAISED
A GIFTED SON.
86
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,016
YES!
87
00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,784
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE
ALREADY GIVEN HIM.
88
00:04:43,818 --> 00:04:46,287
THE STIMULATION...
89
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,755
THE NURTURING...
90
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,558
AND NOT TO MENTION
THE GENES HE INHERITED.
91
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:54,462
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I DO GIVE A LOT
AS A FATHER.
92
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,397
UHH!
93
00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:02,370
[POP]
94
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,175
SALLY.
95
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:13,014
THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU
ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
96
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:17,351
HE COOKS,
HE LOVES THE ARTS,
HE WEARS GREAT SHOES,
97
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,687
AND HE'S SINGLE.
98
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,489
YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
99
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,357
SALLY...
100
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,693
MARRY THIS MAN.
101
00:05:26,895 --> 00:05:28,897
TOMMY! COME IN HERE!
102
00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:29,931
TOMMY!
103
00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:33,001
GREAT NEWS. I'M SENDING YOU
TO THE PICKNEY SCHOOL
104
00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:34,702
WHERE OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
WILL BE RECOGNIZED.
105
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,238
WHAT? NO!
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
106
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:38,839
I'D HAVE TO LEAVE
ALL MY FRIENDS.
107
00:05:38,873 --> 00:05:40,741
STOP THINKING
OF YOURSELF.
108
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,577
THINK OF ME!
HOW PROUD I'LL BE.
109
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,413
HE'LL GO.
110
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,915
WONDERFUL.
111
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:49,250
A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO GRAZE ON.
112
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:58,026
I'M OUT.
113
00:05:58,059 --> 00:05:59,994
I'M OUT OF THE CLOSET.
114
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,833
I LOVE THIS FAMILY.
115
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,740
WHAT IS DICK'S PROBLEM?
116
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,076
I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO THE PICKNEY SCHOOL.
117
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,177
OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
118
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,545
YOUR FATHER'S A PROFESSOR.
119
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,915
BY REJECTING EDUCATION,
YOU'RE REJECTING HIM.
120
00:06:20,949 --> 00:06:23,284
REJECTION'S THE MOST
POWERFUL WEAPON THERE IS.
121
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:24,953
WELL, MAYBE ON EARTH.
122
00:06:27,188 --> 00:06:30,258
I KNOW THIS IS
GONNA BE MISERABLE.
I ALREADY HATE IT THERE.
123
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:34,495
YOU KNOW,
ALL THOSE BRAINY GIRLS
ARE GONNA BE UGLY.
124
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,064
ARE YOU SAYING THAT
125
00:06:36,097 --> 00:06:40,034
INTELLIGENT GIRLS ARE BY
DEFINITION UNATTRACTIVE?
126
00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:42,203
YEAH. MOST OF THEM ARE.
127
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:48,676
OH, WHUH--HEH,
NOT ALL OF THEM ARE.
128
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:52,913
I MEAN--IN FACT,
ON THE GRAPH
OF SMART GIRLS
129
00:06:52,947 --> 00:06:54,482
AND THE GRAPH
OF PRETTY ONES,
130
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,417
YOU'RE THE SOLE
INTERSECTION.
131
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,086
THE SINGLE POINT
OF PERFECTION
132
00:06:58,119 --> 00:07:01,489
IN AN INFINITY OF
STUPID AND HOMELY.
133
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:05,960
WOW...
134
00:07:05,994 --> 00:07:07,761
YOU ARE GIFTED.
135
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,500
* AS LONG AS I KNOW
HOW TO LOVE *
136
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,268
* I KNOW I'LL FEEL ALIVE
137
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:16,237
* I'VE GOT ALL MY LIFE
TO LIVE *
138
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,339
* I'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE
TO GIVE *
139
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,141
* I'LL SURVIVE
140
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,977
* I WILL SURVIVE
141
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,915
YOU'RE SMOKIN'.
142
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:31,952
I GUESS MY BODY
JUST RESPONDS
TO THE CLASSICS.
143
00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:34,622
THEY'RE HAVING
A DANCE CONTEST
HERE NEXT WEEK.
144
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,157
WE'D BE UNBEATABLE.
145
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,226
ESPECIALLY IF WE TARGET
OUR KEY COMPETITION
146
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:40,328
AND SEVER
THEIR ACHILLES TENDONS.
147
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:42,696
WHAT?
148
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,398
YOU'RE JUST SO GREAT.
149
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:46,634
YOU'RE A WARRIOR
IN A WORLD FULL OF PHONIES.
150
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,369
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID
TO BE WHO YOU ARE.
151
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:51,139
YOU'RE IN THE MILITARY,
AND YOU WEAR A DRESS.
152
00:07:51,172 --> 00:07:54,708
I JUST WANT TO BE
ALL I CAN BE.
153
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,810
YOU'RE THE STRONGEST PERSON
I'VE EVER MET.
154
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,415
I KNOW.
155
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,089
OH, YEAH, WE'RE THRILLED
TO HAVE YOU HERE.
156
00:08:08,122 --> 00:08:11,292
OH, DR. SOLOMON, AS
A PARENT AND EDUCATOR,
157
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,593
KUDOS TO YOU,
158
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,995
YOU'VE RAISED
A VERY SPECIAL BOY.
159
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:16,230
YES, I HAVE.
160
00:08:16,264 --> 00:08:18,632
AND YOU'VE HAD
THE FORESIGHT TO BRING HIM
TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
161
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,834
WELL, I AM
THE HIGH COMMANDER.
162
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,507
YES, WELL,
PEOPLE OF BRILLIANCE
163
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:31,112
CAN'T BE EXPECTED
TO FUNCTION IN A SOCIETY
RUN BY INTELLECTUAL MIDGETS.
164
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:32,846
THAT'S WHAT
WE ALWAYS SAY.
165
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,982
HA HA HA HA.
166
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,153
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
167
00:08:39,187 --> 00:08:42,756
YES, YES, YOU AND TOMMY
HAVE FOUND A HOME HERE
AT THE PICKNEY.
168
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,458
IT'S NOT JUST
FOR EXCEPTIONAL STUDENTS,
169
00:08:44,492 --> 00:08:46,327
IT'S FOR EXCEPTIONAL
PARENTS.
170
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,862
THEN YOU MUST BE
DELIGHTED TO MEET ME.
171
00:08:51,199 --> 00:08:52,966
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
172
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,536
AH, ARAMIS, THANKS
FOR STOPPING BY.
173
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:59,107
TOMMY, CONSIDER ARAMIS
PICKNEY'S WELCOME WAGON.
174
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:03,411
I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU
WHAT'S WIRED AND WHAT'S TIRED.
175
00:09:03,444 --> 00:09:06,180
SOMEBODY SHOOT ME
IN THE HEAD.
176
00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:09,283
WELL, DR. MENARD,
NOW THAT THE
CHILDREN ARE AWAY,
177
00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:12,220
LET'S DISCUSS ME
AT GREAT LENGTH.
178
00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:15,389
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
179
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,839
OH, HEY!
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
180
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,608
GREAT! I AM THE KING
OF DORKOPOLIS.
181
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,248
MY LIEGE.
182
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,956
TOMMY.
183
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:52,126
LOOKIN' GOOD.
184
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,261
DICK...
185
00:09:53,294 --> 00:09:56,564
FEELIN' STUPID.
186
00:09:56,597 --> 00:10:00,368
OH, DICK, YOU GOT MONEY
IN YOUR SHOES.
187
00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:01,969
OOH!
188
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,572
YOU'VE GOT MONEY
IN YOUR SHOES.
189
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,707
I WANT MONEY SHOES.
190
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,511
HARRY, NO. MONEY SHOES
ARE FOR PICKNEY STUDENTS
191
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:13,681
AND PICKNEY PARENTS
ONLY.
192
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,217
RATS!
193
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:24,024
TOMMY, LOOK AT THIS.
194
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,993
FIRST IN YOUR CLASS.
195
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,661
YOU'RE A GENIUS.
196
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,097
YOU'VE MADE ME
SO PROUD, SON.
197
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,332
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED:
198
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:33,967
MONEY, A RIDE SOMEWHERE,
CUFFLINKS?
199
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,269
CAN I BUILD YOU
A DARKROOM?
200
00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,505
ANYTHING YOU WANT,
NAME IT, IT'S YOURS.
201
00:10:37,538 --> 00:10:40,040
I WANT TO GO BACK
TO MY OLD SCHOOL.
202
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,809
CUFFLINKS, IT IS.
203
00:11:11,272 --> 00:11:13,907
DON'T PUT BUMPER STICKERS
ON MY CAR.
204
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,776
WHY DO YOU THINK
IT WAS ME?
205
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,713
"I'M THE PROUD SECRETARY
FOR THE FATHER OF THE
SMARTEST KID AT PICKNEY."
206
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,317
IT MAY HAVE BEEN ME.
207
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:33,327
DICK, DID YOU SEE THIS ARTICLE
ABOUT TOMMY IN THE PAPER?
208
00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:34,295
TOMMY?
209
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,396
MY SON?
210
00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,930
THE CHILD
GENIUS?
211
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:37,931
YES, THAT TOMMY.
212
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:41,435
"FINEST TO COMPETE
IN PICKNEY'S
KNOWLEDGE BOWL.
213
00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:44,438
SMARTEST..."
[MUMBLING]
214
00:11:44,472 --> 00:11:47,541
AH! HERE IT IS.
215
00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:51,545
"TOMMY'S FATHER,
DR. DICK SOLOMON,
216
00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:54,982
"PHYSICS PROFESSOR
AT NEARBY PENDELTON
UNIVERSITY,
217
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,919
"REMINDS PEOPLE
THAT GENIUS
IS 1% PERSPIRATION,
218
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:04,292
AND 99%
BRILLIANT FATHER."
219
00:12:04,325 --> 00:12:07,795
YOU DON'T THINK
I OVERSTATED MY
INFLUENCE, DO YOU?
220
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,363
NO.
221
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:15,769
AND HIP AND HIP
AND HIP, HIP, HIP.
222
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:20,107
NOW THE ARMS AND ARMS
AND OUT AND IN
223
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:25,479
AND, SALLY,
YOU'RE LEADING AGAIN.
224
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:27,715
I KEEP FORGETTING.
I'M THE GIRL.
225
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:35,923
YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT TO GO.
I'M GETTING MY CHEST WAXED.
226
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,825
HEY, YOU WANNA COME?
I'VE GOT A COUPON.
227
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,961
UH, NO.
I PREFER TO TWEEZE.
228
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,830
OUCH!
229
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,098
YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT USUALLY
ATTRACTED TO YOUR TYPE,
230
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,535
BUT YOU
ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL.
231
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:50,804
WELL, WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
232
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,581
YOU'RE PRETTY
INTO HIM, HUH?
233
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,451
I THINK HE MIGHT BE
THE ONE.
234
00:13:03,484 --> 00:13:06,387
HIP, HIP,
HIP, HIP, HIP.
235
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:12,926
WHY WOULD I WANT
TO WAX MY CHEST?
236
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,030
OK, TOMMY, I READ
THAT YOU'RE COMPETING
IN THE KNOWLEDGE BOWL.
237
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:17,965
SO WHAT?
238
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,500
SO, WE HAVE TO REVIEW.
239
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,569
WHAT? DICK, THAT'S STUPID.
240
00:13:21,602 --> 00:13:24,171
I'M THE INFORMATION OFFICER.
I KNOW EVERYTHING.
241
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,139
MAYBE...MAYBE NOT.
242
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,541
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
243
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:31,879
HOW ABOUT PHYSICS...
IN RUSSIAN?
244
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:38,686
[QUESTIONING IN RUSSIAN]
245
00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:40,421
[ANSWERING IN RUSSIAN]
246
00:13:40,454 --> 00:13:42,456
WRONG.
247
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,724
IT'S...
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
248
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:44,825
NO. YOU ASKED
THE QUESTION WRONG.
249
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:45,859
IF YOU WANTED...
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
250
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:50,398
YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED...
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
251
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:58,271
FAMOUS ONTOLOGISTS
IN GREEK.
252
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:03,544
[SPEAKING GREEK]
253
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:04,545
[SPEAKING GREEK]
254
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,213
BRYANT GUMBEL.
255
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,350
IN THE FORM
OF A QUESTION.
256
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:12,420
[SPEAKING GREEK]
BRYANT GUMBEL?
257
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,926
POETS OF
THE LI RIVER DELTA.
258
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:23,296
COMPLETE HUANG PO'S
CLASSIC COUPLET
OF LOVE AND BETRAYAL.
259
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:26,366
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
260
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,904
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
261
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,444
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
262
00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:40,481
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
263
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:44,418
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
264
00:14:44,452 --> 00:14:47,688
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
265
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,391
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
266
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:52,626
AGGHH.
267
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:54,962
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
268
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,277
THIS ISN'T EVEN
A SO-CALLED LIFE.
269
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:14,081
OH, WELL,
AS HARRY HOUDINI
ONCE SAID,
270
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,884
"PICK A CARD,
ANY CARD."
271
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,219
IT'S MY MISSION TO BE
A TEENAGER, BUT RIGHT NOW,
272
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,221
I HATE MY FATHER,
I HATE MY SCHOOL,
273
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,124
AND MY LIFE SEEMS HOPELESS.
SOME TEENAGER I AM.
274
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,659
CUT THE DECK.
275
00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:28,061
IF I'M GONNA DO MY JOB,
I'VE GOTTA BE
IN A REAL SCHOOL,
276
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,931
ONE WITH METAL DETECTORS
AND PREGNANT CHEERLEADERS.
277
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,669
FOLD THE EDGES
OF YOUR CARDS
EVER SO SLIGHTLY.
278
00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:37,938
WHY AM I EVEN PUTTING MYSELF
THROUGH ALL THIS,
279
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,541
SO DICK CAN FEEL PROUD?
280
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:43,644
PICK ANOTHER CARD,
ADD THE VALUE,
MULTIPLY BY 4.
281
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,079
SO, I MEAN,
SOMETHING'S CRAZY.
282
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,416
I'M NOT DICK'S SON.
I'M THE INFORMATION OFFICER.
283
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,084
I GOTTA BRING THIS MISSION
BACK ON COURSE.
284
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,821
WRITE THE NUMBER
ON YOUR ARM
SO I CANNOT SEE IT.
285
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:55,489
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
LEFT TO DO...
286
00:15:55,523 --> 00:15:56,857
SHUFFLE.
287
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,826
SABOTAGE.
288
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:06,867
ALL RIGHT. WE'RE OK,
AS LONG AS NONE
OF THOSE ARE CLUBS.
289
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,368
PICK A CARD.
290
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,973
TA-DA!
291
00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:21,982
REMEMBER TO PHRASE
YOUR ANSWER IN THE FORM
OF AN ANSWER.
292
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,684
OK. NEXT QUESTION.
293
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:28,455
"TABULA RASA IS
A LATIN TERM MEANING WHAT?"
294
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,390
TOMMY KNOWS THIS ONE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
295
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,525
[DING]
296
00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:34,828
"TABULA RASA" MEANS
BLANK SLATE.
297
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:35,629
THAT IS CORRECT.
298
00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:36,296
JAA!
299
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,831
HE'S PROBABLY
JUST NERVOUS.
300
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:43,236
RELAX! DAMN YOU! RELAX!
301
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:48,475
"WHICH IMPRESSIONIST PAINTER
IS KNOWN FOR HIS SERIES
OF WATER LILIES?"
302
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,677
[DING]
303
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,645
THAT'S A VERY EASY ONE,
DR. MENARD.
304
00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:54,114
THE ANSWER IS...
305
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,283
PICASSO.
306
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,919
NO!!
307
00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:00,320
[DING]
308
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,657
THE ANSWER IS
CLAUDE MONET.
309
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:07,227
DR. SOLOMON,
COMPETITION IS
ESSENTIAL TO LEARNING.
310
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,530
BITE ME!
311
00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:15,302
"WHAT IS THE OUTER ENVELOPE
OR ATMOSPHERE OF GAS
SURROUNDING THE SUN CALLED?"
312
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,337
[DING]
313
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,706
OOH, HMM...
314
00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:20,007
THAT'S A TOUGHIE.
315
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,809
YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS.
316
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,353
Dr. Menard: 5 SECONDS.
317
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,356
3...2...1.
318
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,958
IT'S CALLED THE CORONA.
319
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,026
YOU'VE BEEN THERE!
320
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,695
YOU KNOW THAT!
321
00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:43,063
DICK, COME ON,
HE'S TRYING.
322
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,331
HE'S YOUR SON.
323
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,533
SON? HE'S NOT MY SON!
324
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,435
I HAVE NO SON!
325
00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,174
AY!
326
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,408
OH!
327
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,983
LET'S GO WIN US
A CONTEST.
328
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:04,918
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
THAT LITTLE RED NUMBER
YOU'VE GOT?
329
00:18:04,952 --> 00:18:06,386
IT'LL LOOK BETTER
WITH MY OUTFIT.
330
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,788
BUT I LOOK SO HOT.
331
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,456
YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING
FLASHIER THAN THAT.
332
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,557
LET ME SEE YOUR CLOSET.
333
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,959
FINE. HELP ME
WITH THE ZIPPER.
334
00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:13,426
DON'T WORRY.
I'M VERY GOOD AT THIS.
335
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,595
SLIP OUT OF THAT DRESS.
336
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:17,430
AAH!
337
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,240
OHH!
338
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,576
LOOK, I MADE A BIG,
BIG MISTAKE.
339
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,944
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT DID I DO?
340
00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:31,979
HOW CAN I PUT THIS?
341
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:35,448
I EXPECTED MORE...
342
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,019
WHAT, I'M NOT
YOUR KIND OF WOMAN?
343
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,388
OH, SALLY...
344
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,758
YOU ARE A WOMAN.
345
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,031
WH-WHAT DID YOU
THINK I WAS?
346
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,546
WOW.
347
00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:10,317
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH
REPREHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR.
348
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,086
I DON'T BLAME YOU IF YOU
HAVE TO EXPEL TOMMY.
349
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,489
DR. SOLOMON, WE STILL CONSIDER
TOMMY PICKNEY MATERIAL.
350
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:20,127
IT IS YOU WHO IS BANNED
FROM THE PICKNEY.
351
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,695
I'M BANNED!
352
00:19:21,729 --> 00:19:22,930
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
353
00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:26,266
TOMMY DIDN'T EVEN
WANT TO COME TO THIS
ROBOT FACTORY OUTLET.
354
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,602
I MADE HIM!
ME! ME! ME!
355
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:33,006
AND NOW I'M PUTTING HIM
BACK IN A REAL SCHOOL
WHERE HE CAN BE HIMSELF.
356
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,507
THE KIND OF SCHOOL
WHERE KIDS AREN'T JUDGED
357
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,544
ON HOW WELL THEY TEST
OR HOW MUCH THEY KNOW.
358
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,513
WHERE THEY AREN'T
JUDGED AT ALL!
359
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:43,216
WHERE THEY HAVE
THE FREEDOM TO STAY
FACELESS AND NAMELESS
360
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,152
FROM FROM "K"
THROUGH 12,
361
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,488
CARRYING THEIR DIPLOMAS
STRAIGHT THROUGH
THE GOLDEN ARCHES
362
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,292
AND ON INTO
THEIR WAITING McJOBS.
363
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,394
COME ON, TOMMY.
WE'RE GOING HOME.
364
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:57,765
[SMACK]
365
00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,867
AHH.
366
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,473
DICK AND TOMMY WERE
THE BEST OF PALS.
367
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,642
BUT THEN ONE DAY,
DICK USED TOMMY
368
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,112
TO MAKE HIMSELF
LOOK GOOD.
369
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:15,182
NOW, TO GET BACK AT HIM,
TOMMY USED DICK
370
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:18,318
TO MAKE DICK
LOOK VERY BAD.
371
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,889
NOW, APART,
THEY WERE JUST TWO
SEPARATE HANDKERCHIEFS--
372
00:20:21,922 --> 00:20:23,556
SHUT UP, HARRY.
SHUT UP, HARRY.
373
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,361
BUT THEN MAGICALLY
THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER.
374
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,702
WHY DID YOU
DO THAT TO ME?
375
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,905
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS...
376
00:20:37,938 --> 00:20:40,540
BECAUSE YOU MADE
MY LIFE SUCK.
377
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,142
WHY DIDN'T YOU
JUST TELL ME THAT?
378
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:45,078
WELL, I TRIED TO.
YOU WERE IMPENETRABLY HAPPY.
379
00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:47,347
WHAT IS IT ABOUT
THE FATHER/SON
RELATIONSHIP
380
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,583
THAT MAKES COMMUNICATION
SO DIFFICULT?
381
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,519
IS IT THE FATHER
USING HIS SON
382
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:55,255
TO MAKE GOOD ON HIS
UNFULFILLED DREAMS?
383
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,857
OR IS IT THE SON,
384
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:59,893
DEFINING HIMSELF
BY REJECTING HIS FATHER?
385
00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:01,261
IT'S NEITHER.
386
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,996
IT'S BOTH.
387
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:06,033
IT'S MEN.
388
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:08,435
AND HOW DID YOU ACQUIRE
THIS NEW EXPERTISE?
389
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,838
YEAH. WHAT HAPPENED
WITH GLENN?
390
00:21:10,871 --> 00:21:15,408
REMEMBER WHEN
WE SAID TWO SEXES
MUST BE SO LIMITING?
391
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,078
I THINK GLENN
FOUND A LOOPHOLE.
392
00:21:27,254 --> 00:21:28,922
YOU'RE A PRECOCIOUS KID,
393
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:30,590
BUT THIS IS A GAME
OF WISDOM.
394
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,525
ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN,
395
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,661
LET'S SETTLE THIS ONCE
AND FOR ALL.
396
00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:43,403
CHECKMATE!
397
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,438
OH! DAMN IT!
398
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,042
OH...
399
00:21:49,076 --> 00:21:50,944
OH, WAIT, LOOK.
400
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:53,213
MY ROOK CAN TAKE YOUR...
27491
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