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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,787 --> 00:00:20,088 OH! 2 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,123 BAZOOKA JOE... 3 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,828 YOU'RE AN IMBECILE! 4 00:00:28,663 --> 00:00:29,931 GOOD MORNING. 5 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,567 DR. ALBRIGHT! 6 00:00:32,601 --> 00:00:37,271 ARGGH! 7 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,240 I AM ABOUT TO REVEAL... 8 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,943 SOMETHING ASTOUNDING. 9 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:45,313 I THINK YOU'RE OVERESTIMATING YOURSELF. 10 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,815 BEHOLD... 11 00:00:46,848 --> 00:00:47,849 AN ATM CARD. 12 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,751 OH. 13 00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:51,385 CONGRATULATIONS. 14 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,453 YOU'RE NOW A MEMBER 15 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:57,358 OF A VERY ELITE GROUP OF 2...300 MILLION AMERICANS. 16 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,527 MY NAME IS RAISED. YOU CAN TOUCH IT. 17 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,895 UH, NO... 18 00:01:00,929 --> 00:01:01,696 THANKS. 19 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:05,499 WHEN I PRESS IT INTO MY FOREHEAD... 20 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,803 YOU CAN READ MY NAME BACKWARDS. 21 00:01:08,837 --> 00:01:09,804 PACE YOURSELF. 22 00:01:09,838 --> 00:01:12,573 WE HAVE A WHOLE SEMESTER. 23 00:01:12,607 --> 00:01:14,275 NINA, DID I SHOW YOU MY NEW A-- YES. 24 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:18,379 AND, NO, I DON'T WANT TO FEEL IT. 25 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,881 I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. 26 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:23,451 WHY DON'T I USE MY NEW ATM CARD TO WITHDRAW MONEY 27 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,654 FROM ONE OF MANY CONVENIENT LOCATIONS-- 28 00:01:25,687 --> 00:01:27,889 EVEN AFTER BUSINESS HOURS... 29 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,625 AND TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT? 30 00:01:30,659 --> 00:01:31,793 ALL RIGHT. 31 00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,494 REALLY? 32 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,963 YES. 33 00:01:34,996 --> 00:01:37,331 YOU DO UNDERSTAND IT'S...DINNER? 34 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,833 OUT? 35 00:01:38,867 --> 00:01:40,134 YES. 36 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,370 BUT NOT JUST DINNER OUT OF THE HOUSE. 37 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,472 DINNER OUT OF THE CAR. 38 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,374 WELL, OUT IT IS. 39 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,843 ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PUT THIS INTO THE ATM, 40 00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:53,147 PUNCH IN MY SECRET CODE-- 1234... 41 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:57,085 OH, NO! 42 00:01:57,118 --> 00:02:00,121 I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THAT CODE TO ANYONE! 43 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,891 NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL US. 44 00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:03,457 OH! 45 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:06,027 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] 46 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,993 THAT WAS THE MALL. WASN'T IT GREAT? 47 00:02:39,027 --> 00:02:40,361 HOW WOULD I KNOW? 48 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,595 THE ESCALATOR BROKE DOWN, 49 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:45,666 AND I WAS STUCK THERE FOR 1 1/2 HOURS. 50 00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:47,568 I THINK THE ENTIRE PLANET 51 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,738 SHOULD BE COVERED BY ONE BIG ROOF. 52 00:02:49,771 --> 00:02:51,840 AND WE SHOULD NEVER BE MORE THAN 15 FEET 53 00:02:51,873 --> 00:02:54,408 FROM A WEENIE ON A STICK. 54 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,510 TOMMY, LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT. 55 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,746 A BASKETBALL? 56 00:02:57,779 --> 00:02:59,914 YOU SHOULD JOIN YOUR SCHOOL'S TEAM. 57 00:02:59,948 --> 00:03:01,115 WHY? 58 00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:02,817 BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT YOU EXPERIENCE 59 00:03:02,851 --> 00:03:04,719 THE HUMILIATION OF ADOLESCENT BOYS 60 00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:06,287 AT THE HANDS OF BITTER ADULTS 61 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,290 TRYING TO REWRITE THE FAILURES OF THEIR YOUTH. 62 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,993 IT'LL BE FUN. 63 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,362 ALL RIGHT. 64 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,165 WHO RIPPED THE RADIO FROM THE DASHBOARD? 65 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,266 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 66 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,400 THE RADIO. IT'S GONE. 67 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,402 WAIT A MINUTE. 68 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,504 I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED HERE. 69 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,007 YOU SEE IT ALL THE TIME ON THE NEWS. 70 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,742 OH, UH... 71 00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:29,177 TOUPEES! 72 00:03:31,012 --> 00:03:32,080 NO. CRIME. 73 00:03:32,113 --> 00:03:34,048 WE'RE VICTIMS OF CRIME. 74 00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:35,349 WHAT'LL WE DO NOW? 75 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:39,087 I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO. 76 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,889 * DOH DOH DOH 77 00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:42,256 * ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 78 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,024 * SSS SSS 79 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,725 * BOM BOM BOM 80 00:03:44,759 --> 00:03:46,360 * ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 81 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,395 * AND ANOTHER ONE'S GONE 82 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,262 * AND ANOTHER ONE'S GONE 83 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,630 * AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 84 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:54,068 * HEY 85 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:56,104 I CAN'T BELIEVE DICK DID THIS TO ME. 86 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,939 WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAY BASKETBALL? 87 00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:01,042 I KNOW, AND TEAM SPORTS ARE SO INFANTILE. 88 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,210 IT'S ALL MASCULINE POSTURING, 89 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,778 ALL THAT PREENING AND FLEXING. 90 00:04:03,812 --> 00:04:05,579 EXACTLY. 91 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,480 WHAT I REALLY HATE 92 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,849 IS THAT THERE'S SOME PRIMITIVE PART OF ME 93 00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:11,953 THAT REALLY RESPONDS TO THAT. 94 00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,255 AND WHAT I REALLY HATE IS BEING CURSED 95 00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,225 WITH THE HEART OF A CHAMPION. 96 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,634 WHAT IS HARRY DOING? 97 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,436 IT'S PART OF MY NEW SECURITY PROCEDURES. 98 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,403 OOH. RED ALERT. 99 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,405 [HIGH-PITCHED ALARM] 100 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:38,746 THERE'S A SQUIRREL APPROACHING THE BUILDING. 101 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,214 THIS SEEMS A BIT EXTREME, LIEUTENANT. 102 00:04:40,248 --> 00:04:43,484 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, HIGH COMMANDER, BUTT OUT. 103 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,919 SECURITY'S MY DOMAIN. 104 00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,687 I'LL TAKE THE BLAME FOR THE RADIO. 105 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,521 OH, PLEASE... 106 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,823 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN GUARDING THE RAMBLER 107 00:04:48,857 --> 00:04:50,524 INSTEAD OF SHOPPING FOR LOOFAHS. 108 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,894 YOU'RE OVERREACTING. 109 00:04:52,927 --> 00:04:56,664 DICK, THIS PLANET IS IN A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD. 110 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,366 [SIGHS] 111 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,035 WE HAVE BEEN ON FAR WORSE PLANETS THAN THIS, 112 00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:05,039 INHABITED BY CREATURES WITH FAR WORSE BREATH. 113 00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:07,608 AT LEAST WE'RE ON A PLANET THAT'S GOVERNED BY LAWS. 114 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,710 YOU'RE TOO DISTRUSTFUL OF HUMANS. 115 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,745 IT'S THOSE TWO LITTLE EYES 116 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,382 RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR HEAD. 117 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,117 MAKES THEM ALL LOOK LIKE THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING. 118 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,418 KNOCK, KNOCK-- 119 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,753 [ALARM] 120 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,590 HI. I HEARD ABOUT YOUR CAR RADIO. 121 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:23,557 DID YOU CALL THE COPS? 122 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,093 I DON'T THINK THAT'S NECESSARY. 123 00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:29,163 GO DOWN TO THE STATION AND ASK FOR OFFICER FRANCO. 124 00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:32,166 AN ITALIAN GENTLEMAN. VERY NICE. 125 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:37,872 CAME RIGHT OVER WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GOT BEAT UP IN MY HOUSE. 126 00:05:37,906 --> 00:05:39,807 YOUR BOYFRIEND GOT BEAT UP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE? 127 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,176 YEAH. MY HUSBAND DIDN'T CARE FOR HIM. 128 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:44,112 OH. 129 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,188 WOW! 130 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,557 [SNIFFS] 131 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,726 I SMELL THE FIST OF JUSTICE. 132 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,695 I SMELL DOUGHNUTS. 133 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,364 HMM. 134 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,400 CAN'T YOU FEEL IT, HARRY-- 135 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,003 THE STIFLING SENSE OF ORDER, 136 00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:10,204 THE DISCIPLINE, 137 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,606 THE ALMOST ROBOTIC LACK OF EMOTION, 138 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,742 THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS? 139 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,710 GOD HELP ME... 140 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,946 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 141 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:20,014 I LOVE IT! 142 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,683 WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 143 00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:27,088 JUST LET ME BE NEAR YOU. 144 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,992 O.K. 145 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,327 MY NAME'S OFFICER DON. 146 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:36,364 WELL, OFFICER DON, WE'RE HERE TO REPORT A CRIME. 147 00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,933 I BLAME MYSELF. I DROPPED MY GUARD. 148 00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:40,034 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 149 00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:41,569 CRIME HAPPENS. 150 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,238 RUTHERFORD MAY LOOK LIKE SMALL-TOWN AMERICA, 151 00:06:44,272 --> 00:06:46,707 BUT JUST BENEATH THE WELL-MANICURED LAWNS 152 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,543 LIES A HOTBED OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY. 153 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,845 WE MAY BE IN THE SHADOW OF CLEVELAND, 154 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:55,083 BUT IT'S IN THE SHADOWS WHERE EVIL LURKS. 155 00:06:57,285 --> 00:06:58,186 WOW. 156 00:06:58,219 --> 00:07:00,521 HEY, WHEN YOU DO THIS... 157 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,224 IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE NYPD BLUE, HUH? 158 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,392 HUH? 159 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,161 AHH! NYPD BLUE, HUH? 160 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:12,633 WHAT HAPPENED? 161 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,402 THE RADIO WAS STOLEN FROM OUR RAMBLER. 162 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,037 A.M.--WITH THOSE PUSH BUTTONS? 163 00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:16,971 YES. 164 00:07:17,005 --> 00:07:18,572 THOSE SICK BASTARDS! 165 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:21,875 FILL OUT THIS FORM. 166 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,044 FORM? THEN WHAT HAPPENS? 167 00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:24,145 I MAKE A COPY OF IT. 168 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:25,213 AND THEN? 169 00:07:25,246 --> 00:07:27,748 THEN ON THURSDAY, A GIRL COMES IN AND FILES IT. 170 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,483 PAPERWORK. 171 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,385 IF I HAD MY WAY, I'D BE OUT THERE, 172 00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:33,587 PUTTING THE RATS BACK IN THEIR HOLES. 173 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,323 IF I HAD A GUN LIKE THAT, 174 00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:36,857 I WOULDN'T BE SITTING BEHIND A DESK 175 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,827 UNTIL I RAN OUT OF BULLETS. 176 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,804 HI. 177 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,773 SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR? 178 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,576 THEY PICKED ME UP FOR VAGRANCY, 179 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,445 BUT THAT'S NOT THE REAL REASON. 180 00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,281 I'M HERE BECAUSE THEY KNOW 181 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,815 I'M FROM THE PLANET CLARION 182 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:02,916 IN THE BART SPIRAL 183 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,819 IN THE CEEFIUS DRAKELAND...BORDER. 184 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:11,125 DO YOU KNOW STEVE? 185 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,496 DEAR LORD... 186 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,466 IF IT BE WITHIN YOUR GREAT WISDOM AND MERCY, 187 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,534 PLEASE GRANT US THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE 188 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:23,904 TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE CENTRAL HIGH MUSKRATS. 189 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,905 EXCUSE ME, COACH. 190 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,075 WE'RE PRAYING, SOLOMON. 191 00:08:27,108 --> 00:08:30,911 SHOULD WE BE BOTHERING GOD OVER A BASKETBALL GAME? 192 00:08:31,279 --> 00:08:32,580 WELL, THIS IS IMPORTANT. 193 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:36,517 BUT THE OTHER TEAM'S PRAYING, TOO. 194 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,287 SO, OUR GOD IS STRONGER THAN THEIR GOD? 195 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,355 THERE'S ONLY ONE GOD, SOLOMON. 196 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:43,857 AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING A CONFLICT OF INTEREST? 197 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,859 YES! 198 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,795 ALL RIGHT! OUT ON THE COURT! LET'S GO! 199 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,798 HUSTLE IT OUT THERE! GET OUT THERE! 200 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,466 COACH, WHAT ABOUT ME? 201 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,468 SORRY, SOLOMON, YOU'RE NOT TALL ENOUGH. 202 00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:55,769 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 203 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,806 YOU'RE TOO DAMN SHORT! 204 00:08:58,839 --> 00:08:59,207 LOOK OUT! 205 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,175 OH! 206 00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:06,514 WHY, YES, I WILL HAVE ANOTHER TRANSACTION. 207 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,649 AND THIS TIME IN... 208 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,584 ESPAÑOL. 209 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:14,288 I'LL BE DONE SHORTLY. 210 00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:15,856 I WANT TO SEE WHAT MY LIMIT IS. 211 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,658 TAKE YOUR TIME. 212 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,927 I PUT THE CARD IN AND MONEY COMES OUT. 213 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,795 CARD IN, MONEY OUT. 214 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:27,435 OH! AS MUCH AS I WANT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ISN'T IT AMAZING? 215 00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,303 YEAH. NOW GIVE IT TO ME. 216 00:09:29,337 --> 00:09:33,607 UH, NO. THIS IS MY MONEY. 217 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:34,975 BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN CARD-- 218 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,145 QUIT FOOLING AROUND. HAND IT OVER. 219 00:09:37,178 --> 00:09:39,180 LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU AGAIN. 220 00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:41,882 THIS $300 IS MINE, 221 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,152 JUST LIKE THE 100 I PUT IN MY WALLET. 222 00:09:44,185 --> 00:09:45,085 YEOW. 223 00:09:45,119 --> 00:09:46,620 WHOA. 224 00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:51,259 THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. 225 00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:54,061 WHAT WAS I THINKING, LETTING YOU GO OUT BY YOURSELF? 226 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,131 A MAN WHO STEALS A WALLET IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. 227 00:09:57,165 --> 00:09:59,099 HE COULD HAVE PUT YOU IN A VAT OF SALINE 228 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,402 AND HARVESTED YOUR ORGANS FOR MONTHS, 229 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,705 FORCING YOU TO REGENERATE KIDNEY AFTER KIDNEY! 230 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:05,973 OH, STOP! 231 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,075 JUST RELAX AND CALM DOWN. 232 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,009 HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? 233 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,946 I FEEL SO UTTERLY EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE... 234 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:17,551 AND NOT IN THAT FUN, SPANKY WAY. 235 00:10:17,585 --> 00:10:19,487 O.K. YOU'RE SAFE NOW. 236 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,721 WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS 237 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:25,092 WHERE YOU CAN'T WAVE MONEY AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? 238 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,828 DID THIS GUY HAVE ANY DISTINGUISHING MARKS? 239 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,598 HIS SKIN WAS RATHER NICE. 240 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:33,201 WELL, I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE PRETTY UPSET, 241 00:10:33,234 --> 00:10:35,169 SO I'LL GIVE MY HOME PHONE NUMBER 242 00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:38,138 TO YOUR SISTER. 243 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,176 CALL IF YOU HAVE ANY... 244 00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:44,111 NEEDS. 245 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,449 OH. 246 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,318 WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? 247 00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:51,319 IT WAS LATE. 248 00:10:51,352 --> 00:10:54,388 WHY WAS I THERE TAKING OUT THAT MONEY? 249 00:10:54,422 --> 00:10:55,523 DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. 250 00:10:55,556 --> 00:10:57,491 I DON'T. I BLAME YOU! WHAT? 251 00:10:57,525 --> 00:10:59,760 YOU AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME. 252 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,295 WHY'D YOU PICK NOW TO SAY YES? 253 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,263 I DON'T KNOW. 254 00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:04,097 SEE? YOU WEREN'T THINKING. 255 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,633 YOU CAN'T TAKE A RANDOM ACT, 256 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,501 TURN IT AROUND, AND BLAME AN INNOCENT PERSON. 257 00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:09,102 JUST WATCH ME! 258 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,104 WHY'D I THINK TONIGHT WOULD BE DIFFERENT? 259 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,373 YOU'RE INSANE! 260 00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:13,541 THE WORLD'S INSANE! 261 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:15,276 THEY TALK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE BEING RANDOM. 262 00:11:15,309 --> 00:11:17,177 THIS PLACE IS RANDOM! 263 00:11:17,211 --> 00:11:18,045 I'M LEAVING! 264 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,180 PEOPLE ASSAULTING TOTAL STRANGERS 265 00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,350 FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO TAKE THEIR MONEY! 266 00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:24,285 THAT'S RIGHT! RUN AWAY! 267 00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,887 SOONER OR LATER, YOU'LL HAVE TO FACE THE FACT 268 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,357 THAT THE EARTH IS A COLD, DARK, AND EVIL PLACE, 269 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,492 CRAWLING WITH CRAZED NE'ER-DO-WELLS 270 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,361 AND LARCENOUS JACKANAPES! 271 00:11:33,394 --> 00:11:37,197 WELL, I DON'T L-L-LIKE IT! 272 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:39,867 LIEUTENANT! 273 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:40,668 YES, SIR! 274 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,537 THIS PLANET HAS CROSSED THE LINE. 275 00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:45,773 ASSEMBLE THE GIANT ROBOT. 276 00:11:49,343 --> 00:11:51,178 WE DIDN'T PACK IT. 277 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,646 WE DIDN'T? WHY NOT? 278 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,349 I WANTED TO, BUT YOU NEEDED ROOM FOR YOUR EXERCISE BIKE, 279 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:58,386 WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, YOU NEVER USE. 280 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:07,060 THE STRENGTH OF THE REFRACTED LIGHT... 281 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,896 VARIES... 282 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,333 IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS VELOCITY, 283 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:13,867 AS MEASURED IN LIGHT YEARS-- 284 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,135 UH, DR. SOLOMON... 285 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,404 WHAT IS IT, LEON? 286 00:12:16,437 --> 00:12:17,971 WHY ARE YOU WRITING LIKE THAT? 287 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,073 BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE AS SOON AS YOU TURN AROUND 288 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,675 SOMEONE'S WAITING TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK 289 00:12:21,709 --> 00:12:23,411 AND STEAL YOUR WALLET. 290 00:12:23,444 --> 00:12:26,079 YOU HAVE TO HAVE MORE FAITH IN PEOPLE. 291 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,817 I THINK THAT, DEEP DOWN, THERE'S A BASIC DECENCY. 292 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,286 BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. 293 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:36,624 YOUR CHIRPY OPTIMISM HAS NO PLACE IN REALITY. 294 00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:37,425 GUESS WHAT. 295 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,092 SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD! 296 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,430 BEATEN SENSELESS FOR HIS SHINY BLACK BOOTS. 297 00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:44,365 AND HIS REINDEER DON'T GIVE A DAMN! 298 00:12:44,398 --> 00:12:46,667 [BELL RINGS] 299 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,806 YOU KNOW, DR. SOLOMON, 300 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,175 YOU SEEM TO BE CARRYING AROUND SO MUCH BAGGAGE. 301 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,344 YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF IT, 302 00:12:56,377 --> 00:12:59,146 SO GET AWAY FROM ME! 303 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,453 LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT. 304 00:13:05,486 --> 00:13:08,989 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS OR HOW DIFFICULT IT IS. 305 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,058 I WANT A SECURITY SYSTEM THAT WILL GUARANTEE 306 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,060 THAT OUR LIVES WILL BE FILLED 307 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,729 WITH ABSOLUTE SAFETY AND CONTENTMENT. 308 00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:18,499 THAT WOULD BE THE ELECTROFORT 2000. 309 00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:22,035 THE ALARM CONNECTS DIRECTLY TO OUR COMMAND CENTER DOWNTOWN, 310 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,037 WHERE WE IMMEDIATELY DISPATCH 311 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,039 TRAINED PATROLMEN TO YOUR DOOR. 312 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,875 I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION. 313 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:28,576 SURE. 314 00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:29,877 WHERE DO I BURY MY FAMILY 315 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,079 AFTER THE BURGLARS HAVE PUMPED BULLETS INTO THEIR SKULLS 316 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:36,550 WHILE YOUR GUYS ARE STROLLING OVER? 317 00:13:36,584 --> 00:13:38,919 THAT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. 318 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,622 TOMMY SHOULD BE HERE. 319 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,757 HE'S IN THE DRIVEWAY, PLAYING ONE-ON-ONE. 320 00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:47,495 TOMMY, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW I'D BE THAT GOOD. 321 00:13:47,528 --> 00:13:49,897 I'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE. 322 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,533 YOUR COMPANY'S OBVIOUSLY RUN BY AMATEURS. 323 00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:54,402 THIS IS TOTALLY UNSATISFACTORY. 324 00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:56,604 ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU A FEW SCHEMATICS 325 00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:59,139 THAT, UH, I DREW UP. 326 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,275 NOW...THE GIANT SWINGING BLADE 327 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,512 WOULD FALL FROM HERE... 328 00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:08,649 STEEL SPIKES PLUNGE INTO THE BURGLAR'S EYES HERE... 329 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,951 AND THE CONVEYER BELT DROPS THE CARCASS 330 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,822 INTO THE TANK OF GREAT WHITE SHARKS HERE... 331 00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,056 HERE... 332 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,892 AND HERE. 333 00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,963 IT'LL WORK. 334 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,000 NOW, THAT'S A PLAN. 335 00:14:28,536 --> 00:14:30,471 NOW, LET'S GO, GIRLS! 336 00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:31,739 COACH? WHAT? 337 00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:33,574 WE'RE UP 40 POINTS WITH 2 MINUTES TO GO. 338 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,076 PUT ME IN. I WON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. 339 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,547 I'LL JUST STAND THERE. 340 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:40,247 NO! 341 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,450 COME ON, COACH! 342 00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:45,085 My girlfriend's watching. 343 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,955 THIS ISN'T JUST MY CHANCE. 344 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,823 THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE REMEMBERED 345 00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:51,459 AS THE BELOVED COACH STRICKLAND 346 00:14:51,492 --> 00:14:54,361 AND NOT AS COACH SUCKLAND. 347 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,363 THAT WASN'T MINE. 348 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,465 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 349 00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:58,832 O.K., SOLOMON, ENOUGH. 350 00:14:58,866 --> 00:15:00,534 I'LL PUT YOU IN. JUST SHUT UP. 351 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,769 THANKS, COACH. 352 00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:03,003 KNOW WHAT PLAYER HANSEN IS? 353 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,705 THE GUY WHOSE NECK'S THICKER THAN MY WAIST? 354 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:05,906 THAT'S HIM. 355 00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,677 STOP HIM FROM DRIVING THE LANE. 356 00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:10,611 GOOD JOB. 357 00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,312 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 358 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,215 [THUD] 359 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,651 [BYSTANDERS] OH! 360 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,523 GOOD MORNING. 361 00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:23,557 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 362 00:15:23,591 --> 00:15:25,192 WIRED, THANK YOU. 363 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,394 MY ENTIRE HOUSE IS WIRED FOR SECURITY. 364 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,563 AND I'M GETTING A CAR ALARM. 365 00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:31,364 OH, GOOD. 366 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,766 NOW ALL YOU NEED IS AN ARMED GUARD 367 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,669 TO WALK YOU FROM THE HOUSE TO THE CAR. 368 00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:37,605 WHAT A GOOD IDEA. 369 00:15:37,638 --> 00:15:40,708 A BIG, SCARY ONE. I COULD HIRE A CRIMINAL. 370 00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:42,109 THEY'RE TAKING MY MONEY ANYWAY. 371 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,678 WHY NOT GIVE IT TO THEM HOURLY? 372 00:15:44,712 --> 00:15:47,781 ALL RIGHT. STOP. NOW YOU ARE A VICTIM. 373 00:15:47,815 --> 00:15:50,150 YOU HAVE LOST ALL TRUST IN HUMANITY. 374 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,419 DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN TRUST PEOPLE? 375 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,687 YES, I DO. 376 00:15:53,721 --> 00:15:55,155 REALLY? 377 00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,794 DO YOU TRUST ME? 378 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,130 OF COURSE I DO. 379 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,333 AND WHY NOT? YOU WORK WITH ME. 380 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,702 YOU KNOW THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU. 381 00:16:08,736 --> 00:16:09,603 IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME, 382 00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:12,540 YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. 383 00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,442 DO YOU TRUST ME? HUH? HUH? 384 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,545 DR. SOL-- 385 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,514 THE... 386 00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:22,282 POLICE CALLED. THEY HAVE YOUR MUGGER. 387 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:22,950 THEY WHAT? 388 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,718 THEY HAVE YOUR MUGGER. 389 00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:28,255 YOU HAVE TO GO AND IDENTIFY HIM. 390 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,557 YOU'VE GOT TO CONFRONT HIM. 391 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,225 N-N-N-NO, NO. 392 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,962 IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO REASSERT CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE. 393 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,897 YOU'LL FEEL BETTER, BELIEVE ME. 394 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:39,166 WELL...WILL YOU GO WITH ME? 395 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,034 YES... 396 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:44,004 BUT FIRST, THERE'S ONE THING I REALLY HAVE TO DO. 397 00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:55,949 O.K... 398 00:16:55,983 --> 00:16:57,985 LET'S GO. 399 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,422 I'LL GET THE CAR. 400 00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:11,331 YOU KNOW, I'M REAL PROUD OF YOU. 401 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,468 FOR THE WAY I SLIPPED IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS? 402 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,872 NO. FOR THE WAY YOU WERE UNASHAMED 403 00:17:18,906 --> 00:17:20,874 TO SHOW HOW NONATHLETIC YOU ARE. 404 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:27,848 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING YOU THINK I SHOULD. 405 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,049 BUT IT'S NOT WORKING. 406 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,318 AND I'M SORRY IF THIS REDEFINES THE PARAMETERS 407 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,654 OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. 408 00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:34,788 BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ACCEPT ME 409 00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:36,857 FOR WHO I AM, REGARDLESS IF I'M SHORT 410 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,827 OR LOUSY AT BASKETBALL OR WHATEVER! 411 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:50,270 I KIND OF LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE ASSERTIVE LIKE THIS. 412 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,338 YOU DO? 413 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,006 BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. 414 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,810 WELL, HOW OFTEN SHOULD I BE ASSERTIVE? 415 00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:58,278 IF I TOLD YOU THAT-- 416 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,246 RIGHT, RIGHT. 417 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,414 I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 418 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,549 IS NOW A GOOD TIME? 419 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,951 SURE. 420 00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:07,120 COME ON. 421 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,122 O.K. 422 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,328 O.K., MR. SOLOMON, TIME TO FINGER YOUR PERP. 423 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,096 BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED, 424 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,130 BUT SHE JUST WON'T LET ME. 425 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:29,710 NO. WE NEED YOU TO I.D. YOUR ASSAILANT. 426 00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:32,045 I DIDN'T REALLY GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM. 427 00:18:32,079 --> 00:18:35,749 IT WAS DARK AND... IT HAPPENED SO QUICK. 428 00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:36,784 YOU! 429 00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:38,652 VOILÄ! 430 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:42,289 YOU OWE ME $400! 431 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,157 YOU--YAH! 432 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,192 THAT'S A POSITIVE I.D. 433 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,527 TAKE HIS CUFFS OFF! TAKE 'EM OFF! 434 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,162 I WANT A FAIR FIGHT! 435 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,198 RUSTY! 436 00:18:54,702 --> 00:18:55,602 OH... 437 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,104 AND BY THE WAY, MUGGER BOY, 438 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,372 YOUR SKIN'S NOT NEARLY AS CREAMY 439 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,342 AS YOU'D LIKE PEOPLE TO THINK! 440 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,611 DR. ALBRIGHT... 441 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,513 THANK YOU. YOU WERE RIGHT. 442 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,015 ALL I HAD TO DO WAS CONFRONT HIM. 443 00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:10,450 AND BEAT HIM SENSELESS? 444 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,619 OH, NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS PURE GRAVY. 445 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,454 OH. 446 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,424 YOU KNOW, WE NEVER HAD THAT DINNER. 447 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,458 CARE TO JOIN ME? 448 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,428 HMM, NO. NOT TONIGHT. 449 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,595 I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING 450 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,833 THAT I HAVEN'T DONE FOR QUITE A WHILE... 451 00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:27,267 SLEEP. 452 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:31,438 OF COURSE, YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN ME IF YOU LIKE. 453 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,439 I'LL PASS. 454 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,775 HMM. 455 00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:37,277 JUST BEING POLITE. 456 00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:40,480 SO, DON... 457 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,515 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TORTURE HIM? 458 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,785 NO. HE STILL HAS TO GO TO TRIAL. 459 00:19:44,818 --> 00:19:47,154 YOU'LL TORTURE HIM AT THE TRIAL? 460 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,588 WE DON'T WORK THAT WAY. 461 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,123 EVERYONE HAS EQUAL RIGHTS. 462 00:19:50,157 --> 00:19:51,024 THAT'S THE LAW. 463 00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,627 OH, DON... 464 00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:58,665 I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU... 465 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,601 BUT WE COME FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS. 466 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,736 NO, WE DON'T. 467 00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:05,638 YOU COME FROM A PLACE FILLED WITH LAWS AND RIGHTS 468 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:08,141 AND FAIR TRIALS. 469 00:20:08,175 --> 00:20:12,045 I COME FROM A PLACE WHERE THE WIND BLOWS COLD 470 00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,646 AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN COUNT ON 471 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,550 IS THAT YOU CAN'T COUNT ON ANYTHING. 472 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,120 YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO? 473 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,690 GOODBYE, DON. 474 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,493 IT'S TOO BAD. 475 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,461 WE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT. 476 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,196 UGH. 477 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,899 SALLY, YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG. 478 00:20:31,932 --> 00:20:35,302 THEY BROUGHT ME UP ON BRUTALITY CHARGES. 479 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,371 THERE'S A VIDEO! 480 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,944 WE SHOULD TRANSFER $500 FROM OUR MONEY MARKET ACCOUNT 481 00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:45,612 TO OUR CHECKING ACCOUNT. 482 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,280 WE DON'T HAVE A MONEY MARKET ACCOUNT. 483 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,648 SHH. 484 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:52,119 IT DOESN'T KNOW THAT. 485 00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:54,487 I'M PROUD OF US FOR COMING HERE TONIGHT. 486 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,890 DR. ALBRIGHT SAID A VERY WISE THING. 487 00:20:56,924 --> 00:21:00,093 SHE SAID, "IF YOU LET FEAR DRIVE YOU INTO HIDING, 488 00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:03,663 THEN THE CRIMINALS HAVE WON." 489 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,335 DICK, THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND US. 490 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,271 WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE? 491 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,040 75, FEMALE, VERY FRAIL. 492 00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:14,574 WHAT DO WE DO LIEUTENANT? 493 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,909 KNOCK HER DOWN AND RUN FOR THE CAR, 494 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:16,844 WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY? 495 00:21:16,877 --> 00:21:18,011 WE DON'T HAVE TIME. GO! 496 00:21:18,045 --> 00:21:20,047 AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! 33061

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