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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:06,272 Oh, Hayley, you know what I drove by the other day? 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,642 That old place we always used to go to when you were little, 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,679 the ice cream shop with the kinda confusing name? 4 00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,447 - Hot Scoops? - Yeah. 5 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:15,815 Whaddya you say we go after this, 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,283 for old times' sake? 7 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,519 Ah, wish I could, Big Mama [BELCHES] 8 00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:22,188 but I gotta, uh... get to work. 9 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:24,257 I thought Sub Hub was still closed 10 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:26,459 because of that whole horse meat thing. 11 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,396 You know, how they found out it was actually raccoon meat? 12 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,297 That's right, huh? 13 00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,199 I meant, um, I have a... 14 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,634 ah, let's see... 15 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,469 Groff Progressive Student Alliance meeting. 16 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,905 On Cesar Chavez Day? 17 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,641 Babe, it's the Scholastic Book Fair 18 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,209 at the middle school today. 19 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,545 Can I get an advance on my allowance? 20 00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:47,647 Okay, but no "Goosebumps." 21 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,848 You'll be awake all night. 22 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,484 [GIGGLES] 23 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,320 Since when does Hayley have that kind of loot? 24 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,024 Hm, must be pickin' up a little extra scratch somehow. 25 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,627 Some, uh, walkin' around money? 26 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,862 Chuckle cheddar? Some funky frog-skins? 27 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,665 Play-Doh, lil stash o' cushion cash. 28 00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:08,902 But where is Hayley picking up that kind of wallet candy? 29 00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,203 Must get it from me. 30 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,038 The ability to make money, that is, 31 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,673 not the money itself. 32 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,375 As you know, having come from poverty, 33 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,844 I pride myself on my ability to provide this family 34 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,079 a high standard of living. 35 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,380 Steve-o, heads up. 36 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,549 Escargot, comin' in hot. 37 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,317 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING] 38 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,052 Hold up, gettin' a call from my financial planner. 39 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,720 - [CELLPHONE BEEPS] - Scotty Boombotty. 40 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,889 Lemme get somewhere quiet so you can really scream 41 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,092 those big-ass numbers at me. 42 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,027 Double digit gains, you say? 43 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:37,831 - No. I said "devastating losses." - What? 44 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,901 I told you not to put everything you had into pornographic pogs. 45 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,404 But the children of the '90s are all grown up. 46 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,039 Naturally they'll now be looking for pogs 47 00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:47,907 with more adult-oriented content. 48 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,110 I remember the words "sure thing" being said. 49 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,946 By you. I begged you not to do it. 50 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,547 Okay, give it to me straight. 51 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,582 How much have I lost? 52 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,883 Stan... 53 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:58,084 you're gonna lose the house. 54 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,954 No one must know. 55 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:04,357 No one must know that anything is wrong. 56 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,626 Porn pogs must've gone tits up. 57 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:15,902 ?? 58 00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,604 I don't think he's coming down. 59 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:21,107 - [PAGER BEEPS] - Ah, shizballs, I gotta scoot. 60 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,676 Here, can you stick this on Dad's back for me? 61 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:25,778 For your trouble. 62 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,815 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 63 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,950 Since when does Hayley have a bleeper? 64 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,986 Are you trying to say "beeper"? 65 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,788 Where the hell is this guy? 66 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,757 I got shit I gotta do. 67 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,762 ? Good morning, USA ? 68 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,900 - [FAUCET SHUTS OFF] - No one must know. 69 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,402 No one must know that I've bankrupted the family. 70 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,137 You've bankrupted the what now? 71 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,972 Probably shoulda done this in the bathroom. 72 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,008 You heard nothing. 73 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,076 Looks like you're gonna have to find us 74 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,845 some money fast, Francine. 75 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,147 One more thing to worry about. 76 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,949 What else is weighing on you? 77 00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,951 Those chimpanzees in the news, 78 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:06,686 that've been stepping on landmines 79 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,454 and losing their limbs? 80 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,522 The chimp-u-tees? 81 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,990 No, it's Hayley. 82 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,493 Klaus, I think she might be... 83 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,628 - dealing. - Pai Gow? 84 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,865 - Drugs. - Cool. But no way. 85 00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,534 Hayley's a drug doer, not a drug dealer. 86 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,870 Oh, yeah? What about the money, 87 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:26,940 the secretiveness, the bleeper... 88 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,676 Sometimes I feel like I don't know her at all. 89 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,011 It's not like it was when she was little. 90 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,014 We were two peas in a pod back then. 91 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,849 Inseparable. 92 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,520 And everywhere we went people just ate us right up, too. 93 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,156 You've heard the term "daughter-mama-charm-a-rama"? 94 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,857 No, never. 95 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,160 Well, we were a mega daughter-mama-charm-a-rama. 96 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,261 Oh, well, that I've hear. 97 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,530 But that was when she was a kid. 98 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,833 Now, honestly, God knows what she could be up to. 99 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,201 Why would you put this in here? 100 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,737 - Whatcha doing? - Nothing. 101 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,206 Say, what's in the duffel bag? 102 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,108 Nothing. Gotta go. 103 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,712 You've been making that face a lot lately. 104 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,081 Mm. Like this. Mm. 105 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,582 This face. Mm. 106 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,287 I've ruined us, Roger. 107 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,156 All our money, our iconic house, gone. 108 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,425 Oh, so you need to pick up a little extra scratch? 109 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,827 Funky frog-skins? 110 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,462 A little zip-a-dee-moo-lah? 111 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,932 'Scuse me one sec. 112 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,201 [GASPS] You. Don't move. 113 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,837 Rugged despair, salt-and-pepper stubble, 114 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,138 Buzz Lightyear chin... 115 00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,673 Why are you wearing a garbage bag? 116 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,975 I didn't bring a costume with me so I had to make do 117 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,177 with what I could find in the bathroom trash can. 118 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:42,115 Giardia Capitosto, Web Ad Stock Photo Talent Manager. 119 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,916 The internet needs handsome, 120 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,852 graying, worried faces like yours. 121 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:50,123 Erectile dysfunction, reverse mortgages, 401k mismanagement... 122 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,692 from now on, you could be the face of them all. 123 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,927 - Is there money in that? - I think so? 124 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,830 All I know is you've got it, kid, 125 00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,866 and I'm gonna put you in the pictures. 126 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,467 The little pictures at the bottom of the screen 127 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,303 on Barstool Sports. 128 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,305 [BRAKES SQUEAK] 129 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:11,511 ?? 130 00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:17,850 ?? 131 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,119 What the hell are you doing in that bush? 132 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:24,023 If you must know, I am trying to sneak into 133 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,759 my ex-boyfriend's apartment. 134 00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:27,860 Sheila? 135 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,196 Oh, great. 136 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,468 - Aah! - The jib is up. 137 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,403 I know you've been pushing... 138 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,374 ...arthritis medication? 139 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,343 It's true. These last few months 140 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,846 I've had a secret side hustle going as a... 141 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,548 pharmaceutical representative. 142 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:52,318 So that's how you've been making all that extra money? 143 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,921 Pushing pills for Big Pharma. 144 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,857 Mom, I am begging you to keep this secret. 145 00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,559 If anyone at the Groff Progressives found out... 146 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,261 Oh, I'll keep it secret, alright. 147 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,897 Secret like a fox. 148 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,432 - What does that... - I want in. 149 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,267 I want to push pills for Big Pharma, too. 150 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:16,342 Isn't this whole Pharma rep thing a little shady, though? 151 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,212 Buttering up a bunch of pervy old doctors to... 152 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,848 Informing a bunch of pervy old doctors, 153 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,516 about a miracle arthritis drug 154 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,785 that really will help so many people. 155 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,287 Hey, if I ever found out Bendjuvanex wasn't all 156 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,490 it's cracked up to be, I would quit like that. 157 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,392 But this drug is the real deal. 158 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:35,194 Derived from armadillo mucin humanely harvested 159 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,563 from the best-treated armadillos in the world. 160 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,198 Plus, it's been a great way 161 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,501 to make a little extra scratch, ya know? 162 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,336 That light-green good-good. 163 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:48,174 Our scientists start with the best part 164 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,876 of the armadillo, the mucin. 165 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,712 And through a proprietary extraction technology 166 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,149 - yield an efficacy rate of 42% over placebo... - [SIGHS] 167 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,383 ...with a Bayesian credible interval 168 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,853 of .52 to 1.39. 169 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,723 Alleviation of arthritic immobility reaches 170 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,725 - 39% and 47%... - [SIGHS] 171 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,260 over leading generic therapies 172 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,728 - at initial dosages... - [SIGHS] 173 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,898 ...of 200 and 400 milligrams respectively. 174 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,700 Other compelling numbers include 27, 175 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,336 7,000, 70,000... 176 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,172 [SIGHS] 177 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,873 Okay, thanks so much, 178 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,575 but I think I'll just stick with generics. 179 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,310 Have a blessed day. 180 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,279 Another bust. 181 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,582 The commissions came so easy at first, but lately... 182 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,417 Maybe it's time to just hang it up. 183 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,587 Or maybe we just need to jazz up our pitch a little... 184 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:37,457 Mom, I've been doing this a while now, okay? 185 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,859 This is how we do it. 186 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,594 [LAUGHTER] 187 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,898 Alright, sugar dumpling, 188 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,934 now, y'all don't forget your chip clips 189 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,470 and your pen-flashlight-thumbdrive. 190 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,271 Oh, sweet. 191 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,907 And I'll be in touch with those Shark tickets, too. 192 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:58,478 - Do you come with the tickets? - [LAUGHS] 193 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,446 Listen, y'all keep those prescriptions 194 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,549 a-scribble-dibble-doodlin', and I just might. 195 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:04,884 Kidding not kidding. 196 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,486 Oh, I will. 197 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,920 Also kidding. 198 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,156 I'm not kidding. 199 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,795 There he is. 200 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,498 My worried web ad Adonis. 201 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,766 So rugged. So handsome. 202 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,301 So haunted. 203 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,803 Brian, your KFC Famous Bowl is here. 204 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,472 - Don't move a muscle. - Bubbeleh, amazing news. 205 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,808 We already have another 10 gigs lined up. 206 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,977 Your money troubles are finito. 207 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,446 Ah. Oh, my God, thank you, Roger. 208 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,814 Giardia Something-Something. 209 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,616 This is such a relief. 210 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,851 Now, you've just taken out a reverse mortgage, 211 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,487 and you're rocked to your very core 212 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,624 contemplating the unforeseen risks. 213 00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:47,994 No, no, no, no, no, no. 214 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:51,764 What the... You, trash woman, over here. 215 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:52,999 - What's up? - What happened? 216 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,367 - He's lost the look. - The what? 217 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,335 The look. Look. 218 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,371 Just look at him. 219 00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,505 Oh, yeah. 220 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,873 God, he sucks. 221 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,475 Where's the concern? 222 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,977 The stunned, grave, soul-piercing worry? 223 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,979 It's not there. He's [BLEEP] it up. 224 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,549 - I got this. - What's up. Everything good? 225 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,684 Hmm, you know, on the set of "The Exorcist," 226 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,986 Billy Friedkin once slapped an actor 227 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,522 to get the stunned, haunted look he needed. 228 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,524 Well, that's a really interesting bit of movie trivia. 229 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,526 - Thanks for... - There it is. Go, go, go. 230 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,861 [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] 231 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,031 - Hayley, listen! - Aah! 232 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:29,302 Sorry. Look, I know you wanna stick to facts and figures, 233 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,370 but if we're gonna keep this gig goin' 234 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:35,074 and the money a-flowin', we have to change things up. 235 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,410 Okay, well, just how, exactly? 236 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:39,979 By focusing on the four S's... 237 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:43,749 sex, sass, and swag. 238 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,386 That's three. What's the fourth "S"? 239 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,754 It's "us." 240 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,723 The "S" is at the end of that one. 241 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,892 Us. You and me. 242 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,728 The daughter-mama-charm-a-rama. 243 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,897 Trust me. 244 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,367 This is how we do it. 245 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,369 ? This is how we do it ? 246 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,838 ? Sha, la, la, la, la, la, lo ? 247 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:07,773 ? This is how we do it ? 248 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:11,077 ? Sha, la, la, la, la, la, lo ? 249 00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:13,079 Okay, I'll do anything you want. 250 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,614 Just give it to me. 251 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,350 ? This is how we do it ? 252 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,852 ? I'll never come wack on an old-school track ? 253 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:21,787 ? This is how we do it ? 254 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,423 ? I'm kinda buzzed, it's all because ? 255 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,925 ? This is how we do it ? 256 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,661 ? South Central does it like nobody does ? 257 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,796 ? This is how we do it ? 258 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:34,100 ? Oh, it's party time ? 259 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,102 ? This is how we do it ? 260 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,404 ? Straight up comin' from the West Side ? 261 00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:40,806 ? This is how we do it ? 262 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,942 ? OG's got the flavor, yeah ? 263 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,644 ? This is how we do it ? 264 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,547 Hmm, the broad's got the right look, 265 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,649 but your boy... 266 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,117 On it. 267 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,452 And this is how we do it. 268 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,588 - Who are you talking to? - Anyone who'll listen. 269 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,089 ? This is how we do it ? 270 00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:00,159 - ? South Central does it like nobody does ? - _ 271 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,927 ? This is how we do it ? 272 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,830 - ? To all my neighbors you got much flavor ? - _ 273 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,632 ? This is how we do it ? 274 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,602 - ? I'll never come wack on an old-school track ? - _ 275 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,103 ? This is how we do it ? 276 00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,572 - ? I'm kinda buzzed, it's all because ? - _ 277 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,940 ? This is how we... ? 278 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:16,809 Have we made enough money to save the house yet? 279 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,977 - Not quite, love. - [GROANS] 280 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,545 But never fear. 281 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,981 Because you're moving up to the big leagues... 282 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:26,786 a live-action TV commercial for, wait for it, Bendjuvanex. 283 00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:29,889 One last big slap, and your money troubles are finito. 284 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,925 Whaddya say we go to BJ's and celebrate with a Pizookie? 285 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,493 One more big slap, 286 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,962 and your troubles could be just beginning. 287 00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,631 Oh, right, I forgot we were here. 288 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,800 All those slaps have left your face as fragile 289 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:45,004 as a gossamer veil of ice atop a springtime lagoon. 290 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,839 My God, that's... 291 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,841 a beautiful description. 292 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,043 The point is, even one more slap 293 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,145 to Stan's bullshit face bones 294 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,547 and he risks... 295 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,216 a full facial cave-in. 296 00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,618 [BOTH GULP] 297 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,721 I still wanna get a Pizookie. 298 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,894 I give you our new top regional reps, 299 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,197 Hayley and Francine Smith, 300 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:15,000 who will be receiving a hefty bonus and the honor 301 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:19,538 of driving the Bendjuvanex Pillmobile. 302 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,173 [ENGINE REVS] 303 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,542 [ALL COUGHING] 304 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,745 I couldn'a done it without ya. 305 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,980 So here's to you, Big Mama. 306 00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:31,083 Nah, nah, nah, Little Mama. To us. 307 00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,552 I couldn't've done it without you either. 308 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,721 No us? No magic. 309 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,089 And no magic... 310 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,858 no mona-a-a-y. 311 00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,829 Aight, I gotta use the little reps' room. 312 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,598 [HANDS CLAPPING] 313 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:52,238 Congra-a-a-a-tulations to the big hero. 314 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,606 You wanna go, brah? 315 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,007 What's your problem, chief? 316 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,077 Our problem is Bendjuvanex. 317 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,180 I was the lead scientist who developed it. 318 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,049 And this miracle drug that I made, 319 00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,785 and that you're selling... 320 00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:08,187 isn't all it's cracked up to be. 321 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,622 Oh, no. 322 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,723 Does it not work? 323 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,258 What? It works great. 324 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,793 I take it myself. 325 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:18,864 In fact, it works too great. 326 00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,600 The clinical trials all went so well at first. 327 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,870 The subjects' arthritis improved rapidly. 328 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:29,041 But soon, after ingesting all that damn mucin, 329 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,611 they must've built up so many armadillo pheromones that... 330 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,879 they began to attract... 331 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,548 - [SNARLING] - [SCREAMING] 332 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,615 ...predators. 333 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,784 First came the coyotes. 334 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,719 Our headquarters was right next to a desert. 335 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,922 Then the bears, owls, 336 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:46,559 red-tailed hawks, a few Komodo dragons. 337 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,128 94% of the non-control group 338 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:52,765 was killed by armadillo predators. 339 00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,633 Well, that was in a lab setting. 340 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,669 We don't know it'll translate to... 341 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:57,903 Yes, we do! 342 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,206 And we covered it up! 343 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,845 God knows what we're unleashing on the world! 344 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,847 Shame on all of us! 345 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,851 I didn't get to finish my negroni! 346 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:12,918 Hey. 347 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,019 Did I miss anything? 348 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:18,190 Nope. In fact, you're getting half a negroni. 349 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,529 Make sure you got the Bendjuvanex barbecue set. 350 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,398 The doc we're seeing here is a total swag hag. 351 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,535 [SIREN WAILS] 352 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,403 Hey, you can't park that there! 353 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,874 It's okay! We're top regional reps! 354 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,042 His office is just through the E.R. 355 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,911 [PATIENTS GROANING, MONITORS BEEPING] 356 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,350 Another coyote bite here. 357 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,853 Komodo dragon just tore through the Ruby Tuesday's on Sixth. 358 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,555 - Incoming! - Coyotes? 359 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,258 Komodo... What the hell is going on? 360 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,093 I have no idea. 361 00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:56,562 Oh, don't you? 362 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,431 This is exactly what I warned you would happen. 363 00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,433 Mom, what's this guy talking about? 364 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,370 I'm talking about Bendjuvanex. 365 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,405 They knew this would happen. 366 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,874 They knew and they covered it up. 367 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,409 And so did she. 368 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,912 - Wha... I... - Bear! 369 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:15,247 - [GUN COCKS] - [GROWLS] 370 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,182 Oh, God, what have we done? 371 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,084 So this is true? 372 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,953 And you... knew? 373 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,188 I... didn't know for sure that... 374 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,124 And you let me go out there with you, 375 00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:27,426 pushing this death drug onto people? 376 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:30,429 - I just... I needed... - You needed what? 377 00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,097 A little extra scratch? 378 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,432 How could you? 379 00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:36,268 I... I never want to speak to you again. 380 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,305 TOM BAGETTI: Can you do me a solid? 381 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,608 Check out my toe tag. Tell me what it says? 382 00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,476 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. 383 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,645 - "Goner." - [GROANS] 384 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,281 Are you sure you want me to slap you, Stan? 385 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,583 If you care to remember, your face might cave in. 386 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,285 I'm afraid we have no choice. 387 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,054 It's a risk I'll just have to take. 388 00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,289 I needs dem clams. 389 00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:02,494 Whoa. Now, that's what I call grave, soul-piercing worry. 390 00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,129 Stan. Lock that in. 391 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,931 You got back the look. It's a miracle. 392 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,434 What the... What... What the hell is this? 393 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,469 Weren't you just a photographer a few weeks ago? 394 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,105 Yeah, my career has advanced, too. 395 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,340 I'm a director now. 396 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,475 But this is an "after" commercial. 397 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,645 After the drug has given hm a new lease on life. 398 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,281 I need ease, contentment, joy. 399 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,083 Quick, Stan, smile. 400 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,651 [GROANS] I... 401 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,353 I can't. I'm locked in here. 402 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,921 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 403 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,255 Roger, slap me. 404 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:31,991 If you could slap worry onto my face, 405 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,492 just maybe you can slap it... 406 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,060 [GRUNTING] 407 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,532 ? Bendjuvanex ? 408 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,204 NARRATOR: Look forward again to the free time, 409 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:48,540 the quality time, 410 00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,909 the good times. 411 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:53,512 Bendjuvanex. 412 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,514 Look forward again... 413 00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:58,217 to what's around the bend. 414 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,387 ? Bend, bend, Bendjuvanex ? 415 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,189 NARRATOR: Side effects, while rare, may include hypoxia, 416 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,225 hypothermia, heart palpitations, hyperhydrosis, 417 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:08,961 hydrohyposis, encephalitis, elephantitis, and weeping anus. 418 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,229 If you experience weeping anus that lasts longer 419 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,031 than 24 hours, that's a bad sign. 420 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,133 If while taking the drug you see any coyotes, bears, 421 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,402 owls, Komodo dragons or various desert raptors lurking nearby, 422 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,537 don't worry about it. It's probably just your imagination. 423 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,372 ? Bendjuvan... ? 424 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,409 They're still covering it all up and selling the damn stuff. 425 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,044 Sorry, what? No one's been keeping me 426 00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:26,412 in the loop on this one. 427 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,414 You were, dealing Pai Gow or something? 428 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,681 [DOORBELL RINGS] 429 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,685 - This a religious thing? - No. 430 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,655 I'm here on behalf of Bobo's Promise, 431 00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,058 the chimp-u-tee char-i-tee? 432 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,026 Are you Francine Smith? 433 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,694 [BLEEP] no. [SPITS] 434 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:46,331 Oh, well, we're here to thank her 435 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,200 for the generous weekly donations 436 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,601 of $10,000 437 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,503 she's been making for the past two months. 438 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,739 Wait, that would've been her entire share 439 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:56,742 of everything we made, from the very start... 440 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,410 "Made." 441 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,447 So that means there's no more money? 442 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,583 Ah, crap, I'm selling this thing for scrap metal, then. 443 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,453 See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya, Bobo. 444 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,789 [WHIMPERS] 445 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,459 [INHALES SHARPLY] 446 00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:18,230 [SIGHS] 447 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,498 HAYLEY: So you didn't do it for the money? 448 00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:21,266 No. 449 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,268 I knew your dad was taking care of that. 450 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:26,271 I mean, his face is all over the dang internet. 451 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:29,541 The money... was always just an excuse. 452 00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,111 - For what? - To hang out with you. 453 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,413 Like we did when you were little. 454 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,783 That's why I didn't tell you when I found out about the drug. 455 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:40,586 I just didn't want it to end. 456 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,421 I'm sorry, kiddo. 457 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,591 Now, come on. Let's go [BLEEP] 458 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,060 that [BLEEP] pharmaceutical company's shit 459 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,862 right up in the [BLEEP] face. 460 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,301 Alright, we go in through the vents, 461 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,803 make our way to the C-suite, 462 00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,405 download the secret animal attack data, 463 00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,141 and get it to the press. 464 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:03,609 Why'd you bring the t-shirt cannon? 465 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,210 Case we run into any trouble. 466 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:11,617 ?? 467 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:18,157 ?? 468 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,525 Got it. 469 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,461 [LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS] 470 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,897 Hand it over, ladies. 471 00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:30,836 Quick, Hayley. 472 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,404 Charm him. 473 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,542 [CHUCKLES] You think you can tug 474 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,477 at my heartstrings? 475 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,679 I'm a pharmaceutical executive. 476 00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,681 I don't have any. 477 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,652 Run! 478 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:55,360 ?? 479 00:19:55,394 --> 00:20:03,835 ?? 480 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,604 - Gotcha. - [GASPS] 481 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,172 Hey. Skinko. 482 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,042 Time to take your medicine. 483 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,579 [COUGHS] Oh, no. 484 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,581 [SQUAWKING] 485 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,418 SECURITY GUARD: Mr. Skinko, coyotes have 486 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,587 breached the perimeter and are in the vents. 487 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,755 [COYOTES GROWLING] 488 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,791 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS, BEAR GROWLS] 489 00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:28,894 Armadillo tuck. 490 00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:31,129 [BEAR ROARS] 491 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,899 You know, we should do this more often. 492 00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:37,102 Hang out, that is, not, you know, this. 493 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:38,904 [GRUNTING] 494 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,543 [SCREAMING] 495 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,914 Now, that's what I call a little extra scratch. 496 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,249 [SCREAMING CONTINUES] 497 00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:51,416 Let's get outta here. 498 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,285 This is actually pretty gruesome. 499 00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,990 Bye. Have a great time. 500 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,590 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35500

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