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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,174
I'm taking a hormone therapy
2
00:00:03,241 --> 00:00:05,010
- to stimulate ovulation.
- You're trying for a baby?
3
00:00:05,076 --> 00:00:06,845
- Thinking about it.
- I guess that's on me.
4
00:00:06,911 --> 00:00:08,747
Actually, about how
I've managed
5
00:00:08,813 --> 00:00:10,782
to screw up most
of my relationships.
6
00:00:10,849 --> 00:00:12,684
I hear that you proposed
a reshuffle
7
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,085
in which you report
to her instead of me.
8
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,887
You're the one who told me
to build a relationship
9
00:00:15,954 --> 00:00:18,056
- with her, earn capital.
- I heard Novak's gone AWOL.
10
00:00:18,123 --> 00:00:21,159
I think we should use this
as a reason to move him
out of Trauma OR.
11
00:00:21,226 --> 00:00:24,929
- He's, like, unpredictable.
- He is toxic chaos.
12
00:00:24,996 --> 00:00:28,199
Theo, it's okay
that you wanted this life.
13
00:00:28,266 --> 00:00:30,502
This is part where
you tell me you and Mom are...
14
00:00:30,568 --> 00:00:31,736
you're praying for me?
15
00:00:31,803 --> 00:00:33,138
Every patient I see,
16
00:00:33,204 --> 00:00:35,140
I think, "Is this the person
who stabbed me?"
17
00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:38,243
- We're going to make
an accountability plan
for the painkillers.
18
00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:39,944
I just matched with a heart.
19
00:00:40,011 --> 00:00:42,480
It sounds like you got
walloped with some pretty
20
00:00:42,547 --> 00:00:45,083
- intense news yesterday.
- I want to be here for you now.
21
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,018
However you need me to be.
22
00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:03,635
You ready, Mags?
23
00:01:04,269 --> 00:01:05,737
It's time.
24
00:01:13,745 --> 00:01:15,447
Your heart is in the building.
25
00:01:15,513 --> 00:01:17,482
Prepped and ready.
26
00:01:36,568 --> 00:01:39,370
All systems go, Dr. Leblanc.
27
00:01:39,437 --> 00:01:41,873
At the behest
of our anesthesiologist
28
00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,641
whose eyes are on the monitor,
29
00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:46,077
I'm gonna ask you to count
backwards from 10.
30
00:01:47,479 --> 00:01:48,780
Okay.
31
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:53,651
10, 9,
32
00:01:53,718 --> 00:01:57,088
8, 7...
33
00:02:13,671 --> 00:02:15,507
Hi, Amira.
34
00:02:15,573 --> 00:02:18,810
No, it's 1963.
35
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:19,978
Yeah.
36
00:02:20,512 --> 00:02:22,580
Okay, just put it back
when you're done.
37
00:02:22,647 --> 00:02:24,449
Okay. Yalla. Bye.
38
00:02:24,949 --> 00:02:26,985
It's the spare key
security code.
39
00:02:27,051 --> 00:02:29,621
I mean, how difficult is it
to just know the things
40
00:02:29,687 --> 00:02:32,157
that you need to take with you
and to take them with you.
41
00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:34,926
I sound exactly like my father.
42
00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:36,828
Was he strict?
43
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:41,132
He was more of
a spiritual philosopher.
44
00:02:41,199 --> 00:02:43,401
- My mother was strict.
- My father would have called
45
00:02:43,468 --> 00:02:45,904
Mags' surgery a second chance.
46
00:02:45,970 --> 00:02:48,273
Do you miss
that kind of outlook?
47
00:02:48,339 --> 00:02:52,076
I wonder if Mags' heart
is in the hospital yet...
48
00:02:52,143 --> 00:02:54,412
I know I should focus, but...
49
00:02:55,413 --> 00:02:56,681
Thank you.
50
00:02:56,748 --> 00:02:58,249
Do you feel comfortable
51
00:02:58,316 --> 00:03:00,018
about your strategy
for managing today?
52
00:03:00,084 --> 00:03:02,220
- As best I can.
- Why, do you?
53
00:03:02,287 --> 00:03:04,189
Well, I was thinking about
what you said last month
54
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:05,590
about that ordeal
in the sinkhole.
55
00:03:05,657 --> 00:03:09,360
The trapped man. You told me
that jumping in blindly
56
00:03:09,427 --> 00:03:11,829
is what you know how to do,
even when you shouldn't.
57
00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:14,432
Mags' family is making
all the decisions today.
58
00:03:14,499 --> 00:03:19,070
Talking to the doctors,
I'm just waiting for
news above ground.
59
00:03:19,637 --> 00:03:20,939
It's, uh...
60
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:23,241
It's my father's birthday today.
61
00:03:23,308 --> 00:03:26,477
- 1963, the year he was born.
- Seriously?
62
00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,546
How weird is that, right?
63
00:03:28,613 --> 00:03:31,382
Do you do, uh, do you do
anything to mark it?
64
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,352
This is, uh...
65
00:03:34,419 --> 00:03:36,521
Okay, he loved Snickers.
66
00:03:36,588 --> 00:03:38,323
And it's one of the few candies
67
00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,291
that you can get
both here and there.
68
00:03:40,358 --> 00:03:43,795
And usually, Amira and I, but...
69
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:45,697
nobody's brought it up
this year.
70
00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:49,701
My brother died when I was 20.
71
00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:52,670
Car accident, he was 17.
72
00:03:52,737 --> 00:03:55,406
- Oh, Karim.
- I'm so sorry.
73
00:03:55,473 --> 00:04:00,645
The ways we grief
and adapt as we... move on.
74
00:04:02,547 --> 00:04:04,649
Thanks, brother.
75
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,918
I'll see you soon.
76
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:13,591
Mark?
77
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,728
Dr. Novak, where have you been?
78
00:04:16,794 --> 00:04:19,998
I woke up, made coffee,
ran 10k, came here.
79
00:04:20,064 --> 00:04:22,667
- You know full well I mean
"Where have you been
for the last two days?"
80
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:25,169
You've been on the schedule
but decidedly not here!
81
00:04:25,236 --> 00:04:27,238
My mother died.
82
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:30,141
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
83
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:32,243
If you'd let us know,
we would have been able to--
84
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:33,911
- She didn't actually die.
- I just wanted to see
85
00:04:33,978 --> 00:04:37,048
if you'd still give me
a hard time after hearing
that news, and...
86
00:04:37,115 --> 00:04:38,950
apparently, you would.
87
00:04:39,617 --> 00:04:42,387
You gonna let Pops go on
the rides at Centreville too?
88
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:44,522
I mean, he did come
a long way to take you.
89
00:04:44,589 --> 00:04:47,792
- She's going to make him do it.
- She always gets scared.
90
00:04:47,859 --> 00:04:50,194
Nothing wrong with
being afraid, Gracie.
91
00:04:50,261 --> 00:04:52,130
Theo, I can do the sunscreen
on the ferry.
92
00:04:52,196 --> 00:04:53,931
Why is everything
you say a lesson?
93
00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:56,401
Welcome to my childhood, kid.
94
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:59,137
Dr. Hunter, your patient
in six is back from imaging.
95
00:04:59,203 --> 00:05:01,072
I can relay results
if you need a minute.
96
00:05:01,139 --> 00:05:03,841
Ah, no, thank you,
Dr. Bergeron. I'm good.
97
00:05:07,078 --> 00:05:10,715
Okay, girls, take it easy
on Pops, alright?
98
00:05:11,516 --> 00:05:12,750
Thanks, Dad.
99
00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:14,619
Have a seat
for one second, okay?
100
00:05:14,686 --> 00:05:15,753
Uh, Theo...
101
00:05:16,321 --> 00:05:18,456
- Forget something?
- No, just, uh...
102
00:05:18,523 --> 00:05:20,992
- Was that...
- Was that lady your friend?
103
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:25,063
You know, it just seemed
like there was, uh, you know,
like, she knows you.
104
00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:26,731
No, Dad.
105
00:05:26,798 --> 00:05:29,734
I don't know,
why would you even think
something like that?
106
00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:32,236
Alright, I was just asking.
107
00:05:32,303 --> 00:05:33,504
- Okay.
- Okay.
108
00:05:33,571 --> 00:05:35,673
Alright, girls, we're ready.
109
00:05:43,214 --> 00:05:45,116
So sweet of your dad
to help out.
110
00:05:45,183 --> 00:05:48,319
- Liz, what the hell?
- I wanted to meet your family.
111
00:05:48,386 --> 00:05:51,923
- Even undercover.
- My head is killing me.
112
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:54,025
You know, he pulled me aside
113
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:55,827
and basically asked
if you were my girlfriend.
114
00:05:55,893 --> 00:05:59,197
Wow, impressive dad insight.
115
00:05:59,897 --> 00:06:02,567
Okay, so fine.
I accidentally forced the issue.
116
00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:04,869
No, you didn't
because I denied it.
117
00:06:04,936 --> 00:06:06,471
You lied?
118
00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:08,373
Why, because me being
sort of still married
119
00:06:08,439 --> 00:06:10,508
makes you a bad pastor's son?
120
00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,276
Another sick dog?
121
00:06:12,343 --> 00:06:15,947
- This is Esther Danbury.
- Seriously compromised airway.
122
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:18,282
- Whoa.
- Try to stay still, Esther.
123
00:06:18,349 --> 00:06:21,185
- Where's Judah? Where's Bertie?
- I can't see them.
124
00:06:21,252 --> 00:06:22,854
- They're right here, Esther.
- They're okay.
125
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,957
- Are you breathing okay?
- We were in the ravine,
126
00:06:26,023 --> 00:06:28,259
the coyote leaped out
of the bushes.
127
00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:30,161
Esther, I need you to save
your breath, alright?
128
00:06:30,228 --> 00:06:31,496
- Two units of O-neg.
- Yeah.
129
00:06:31,562 --> 00:06:35,032
Heart Rate's 105, RESP rate
24, BP's 88 over 58.
130
00:06:35,099 --> 00:06:37,802
Yeah, two grams TXA,
start ceftriaxone.
131
00:06:39,904 --> 00:06:42,774
- Bertie, is our dog okay?
- Might hurt a little.
132
00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:48,246
Alright, I'm gonna need
to secure her airway before
I can handle the bleeding.
133
00:06:48,312 --> 00:06:50,715
Bertie was on leash
when the coyote lunged at us.
134
00:06:50,782 --> 00:06:52,283
Esther threw herself in front.
135
00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:54,986
Okay, our nurse is gonna take
you to your room, okay, Judas?
136
00:06:55,052 --> 00:06:57,288
- Here, Esther needs him.
- Okay.
137
00:06:57,355 --> 00:06:58,389
Oh...
138
00:06:58,756 --> 00:07:01,626
Theo, get that dog out of
here, this is an operating room.
139
00:07:01,692 --> 00:07:03,594
She needs her dog, June.
140
00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:05,329
Can you tell me
what you feel, Esther?
141
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:06,631
How's church, Jim?
142
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,635
Where have you been?
143
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,905
It's... hard to breathe.
144
00:07:13,971 --> 00:07:16,340
Being able to talk
is impressive. But, uh...
145
00:07:16,407 --> 00:07:18,242
These kinds of trauma
usually create what we call
146
00:07:18,309 --> 00:07:22,747
- a "difficult airway".
- Options, June?
147
00:07:22,814 --> 00:07:24,715
First, intubation, but...
148
00:07:24,782 --> 00:07:26,884
You think we're dealing
with a tracheal injury?
149
00:07:26,951 --> 00:07:28,553
I'm having a hard time
getting a good look.
150
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:30,154
It seems like
it's mostly facial,
151
00:07:30,221 --> 00:07:31,322
but then she has
intra-oral bleeding,
152
00:07:31,389 --> 00:07:33,391
some loose teeth tissue,
swelling.
153
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,359
Blind nasotracheal intubation?
154
00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:37,128
Nobody does that
anymore, okay?
155
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,362
If this is a last resort,
156
00:07:38,429 --> 00:07:40,298
then it's gonna be
an emergency cric.
157
00:07:40,364 --> 00:07:42,033
Theo, why is the dog still here?
158
00:07:42,099 --> 00:07:44,569
- June, Bertie stays.
- Are you saying you
159
00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:49,740
that you can't get me breathing
because the parts of my face
aren't where they should be?
160
00:07:49,807 --> 00:07:51,976
Esther, Esther, listen to me!
161
00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:54,579
Look, I know
you're scared, okay?
162
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:56,380
But I promise you everything
is gonna be alright.
163
00:07:56,447 --> 00:07:59,717
Can you just stay back
from her open wounds?
164
00:07:59,784 --> 00:08:02,787
- 02 SAT's 86 now guys--
- Actually, I forgot.
165
00:08:02,854 --> 00:08:04,622
- I got us this.
- What is that?
166
00:08:04,689 --> 00:08:06,290
A video laryngoscope
with a stylet.
167
00:08:06,357 --> 00:08:08,459
Means we can see
what we're doing, and...
168
00:08:08,526 --> 00:08:10,194
- muscle through the debris.
- What?
169
00:08:10,261 --> 00:08:12,163
Nah, keep the emergency
cric, just in case.
170
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,899
- Call that a double-double.
- When did you get this?
171
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:17,802
50 mg of etomidate
and 70 of sux...
172
00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:19,604
I don't know,
couple of months ago.
173
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,106
- Am I supposed to...
- ask permission?
174
00:08:22,173 --> 00:08:23,774
Well, at least tell
someone you did it.
175
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:25,843
Hi, kiddo, we're going
to sedate you, okay?
176
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:28,412
And now we're going to use
that very good tool
177
00:08:28,479 --> 00:08:31,148
to put a tube in,
and then when you wake up,
178
00:08:31,215 --> 00:08:33,050
you'll be able to breathe
way more easily, okay?
179
00:08:33,117 --> 00:08:35,186
You know these things need
special approval, right?
180
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,687
Devi doesn't need
any more reasons to--
181
00:08:36,754 --> 00:08:38,055
- To what?
- You know, you could've
182
00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:40,191
at least answered my texts
the last few days.
183
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,226
Okay then, let's get
this kid breathing.
184
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:43,861
Alright.
185
00:08:45,129 --> 00:08:46,931
Okay, on your side.
186
00:08:46,998 --> 00:08:48,399
Thank you.
187
00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:49,800
Alright.
188
00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,869
Sorry, tender there?
189
00:08:51,936 --> 00:08:53,838
- Uh-huh.
- Appendix, bet ya anything.
190
00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:55,640
I lost that one as a kid.
191
00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:57,642
This pain's definitely
my pancreas.
192
00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:59,443
What makes you say that?
193
00:08:59,510 --> 00:09:02,179
- Uh, a few years ago,
my immune system
declared war on it.
194
00:09:02,246 --> 00:09:03,781
I've had chronic
pancreatitis since.
195
00:09:03,848 --> 00:09:06,951
- My uncle had that.
- Man was in constant discomfort.
196
00:09:07,018 --> 00:09:09,720
Of course, he was also a weasel
who drank a 40 a day.
197
00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:13,624
- Except, I wasn't much
of a drinker before this came on
and barely at all after either.
198
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:15,459
Your loss!
199
00:09:15,526 --> 00:09:17,995
Hey, hey, hey!
200
00:09:18,062 --> 00:09:20,031
Time to wake up, nurse lady.
201
00:09:21,566 --> 00:09:24,068
100 over 70, Kathy.
202
00:09:28,439 --> 00:09:29,774
Okay, this'll be cold.
203
00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:38,115
This is to rule out gallstones
or bleeding.
204
00:09:40,051 --> 00:09:42,186
Are you on any medication?
205
00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:44,689
Pancrelipase and
Rabeprazole daily.
206
00:09:44,755 --> 00:09:47,925
- Tylenol at home.
- When it gets like this, I always have to come in.
207
00:09:47,992 --> 00:09:51,162
And... what do we usually do?
208
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:53,230
On a good day,
listen to what works,
209
00:09:53,297 --> 00:09:54,865
but mostly tell me why it won't.
210
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,467
I'm hoping it's a good day.
211
00:09:56,534 --> 00:09:58,703
I like this one, she's fiery.
212
00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,471
What are you in for?
213
00:10:00,538 --> 00:10:02,940
- Congestive heart failure.
- Sorry to hear that.
214
00:10:03,007 --> 00:10:05,643
- No, no, no.
- I'll live to fight another day.
215
00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:07,812
I'll start fluids.
216
00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,048
Thanks. Um... Tell me what
usually works, Paige.
217
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:13,250
Three rounds
of intravenous Toradol,
218
00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:15,820
aggressive fluids and cipro
to avoid abscess.
219
00:10:15,886 --> 00:10:17,955
High-dose anti-inflammatories
are controversial
220
00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:20,024
- when it comes to pancreatitis--
- I know, but...
221
00:10:20,091 --> 00:10:22,093
I think the best thing
that we can do is see
222
00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:24,161
how you respond to the fluids
and manage pain orally.
223
00:10:24,228 --> 00:10:26,731
Won't work. I don't metabolize
well by mouth!
224
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:31,002
The thing is, you guys always
make me sit in agony until
my body proves me right.
225
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:33,104
Can we please just skip
that step this once?
226
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:34,839
Look, I get you've been
through this before,
227
00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:36,807
but there's a treatment protocol
that we need to follow,
228
00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:40,645
and IV and seds
risk anti-platelet effect
or acute kidney injury.
229
00:10:40,711 --> 00:10:44,715
- But if I'm willing
to take that risk to stop
my pain, why can't you?
230
00:10:44,782 --> 00:10:47,652
- Yeah, why can't ya?
- I mean, it's her body, right?
231
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:49,353
Kathy...
232
00:10:52,123 --> 00:10:55,860
Look, I want to help you,
Paige, of course, I do.
233
00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:58,396
But... I need to look
before jumping in blindly,
234
00:10:58,462 --> 00:11:01,365
so we're going to do some
blood work first, alright?
235
00:11:08,239 --> 00:11:09,940
That was weird.
236
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:11,909
Zero boundaries, that woman.
237
00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:15,246
Let me try to load her up with
diuretics and hope that works.
238
00:11:15,312 --> 00:11:17,214
Uh, no, not Kathy. Paige.
239
00:11:17,281 --> 00:11:20,117
I just saw her move easily
like she wasn't in pain.
240
00:11:20,184 --> 00:11:22,119
Do you think she's drug seeking?
241
00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:23,621
Asking for NSAIDs?
242
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:25,256
They're not
a controlled substance.
243
00:11:25,322 --> 00:11:26,991
I know, but some
patients lay a track.
244
00:11:27,058 --> 00:11:29,894
- Oh, you know the deal.
- Hiding is second nature with chronic pain.
245
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,596
It's when you need
somebody to really know
what's going on inside,
246
00:11:32,663 --> 00:11:34,398
that's when
you gotta work at it.
247
00:11:34,465 --> 00:11:35,766
Huh...
248
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,269
No Mags today?
249
00:11:39,203 --> 00:11:41,272
I, uh, took her shift.
250
00:11:42,373 --> 00:11:45,242
People are saying there's
something going on with her.
251
00:11:49,213 --> 00:11:51,849
She's having a heart
transplant right now.
252
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,018
She's been on the table
about four hours,
253
00:11:54,085 --> 00:11:55,786
about four more to...
254
00:11:56,353 --> 00:11:58,723
I didn't know it was that bad.
255
00:11:59,323 --> 00:12:00,891
None of us did.
256
00:12:01,659 --> 00:12:03,227
Is she gonna...
257
00:12:04,829 --> 00:12:07,531
Is she gonna be able
to come back to work?
258
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:11,068
I think the drugs she's asking
for are a real risk.
259
00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:12,503
Paige.
260
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,038
Maybe.
261
00:12:14,939 --> 00:12:17,074
But she's the one alone
with the pain.
262
00:12:20,277 --> 00:12:21,612
Dr. Devi, sorry.
263
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,981
Uh, I imagine you heard about
Trauma OR this morning.
264
00:12:24,048 --> 00:12:26,016
I know you've been
auditing the logs,
265
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,452
so if you have any questions
about the fancy
266
00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:29,653
piece of equipment
Dr. Novak ordered--
267
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,522
Oh, I have a lot
of questions for Mark.
268
00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,858
All of which I'd prefer
to ask without a buffer.
269
00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:36,861
- Yeah, I, uh...
- Dr. Curtis?
270
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:38,295
This is Murray, Esther's father.
271
00:12:38,362 --> 00:12:40,598
I just saw my son,
but they said you could tell me
272
00:12:40,664 --> 00:12:41,932
what's happening
with my daughter.
273
00:12:41,999 --> 00:12:43,667
Yes, we were able
to secure Esther's airway.
274
00:12:43,734 --> 00:12:45,269
She's gonna need several
reconstructive surgeries
275
00:12:45,336 --> 00:12:47,638
- over the next couple of days--
- Well, can I see her?
276
00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:51,108
- You need to be prepared.
- Her face and her airway
277
00:12:51,175 --> 00:12:52,743
were damaged extensively.
278
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,378
Well, she's gonna
recover, right?
279
00:12:54,445 --> 00:12:56,413
She's starting
university soon and--
280
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,883
Functionally,
her prognosis is good.
281
00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:01,252
But she may have
some trouble swallowing,
282
00:13:01,318 --> 00:13:02,920
she might need
a speech therapist.
283
00:13:02,987 --> 00:13:05,089
And they'll be
some scaring, but...
284
00:13:06,624 --> 00:13:10,227
This dog, we got him
the week their mom left.
285
00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:15,232
Anytime one of them was sick
or sad, he'd be by their side.
286
00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:17,868
Like, their pain is his to bear.
287
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:21,472
Well, you can come see her
288
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,474
in the ICU, I just, uh...
289
00:13:24,475 --> 00:13:26,477
Sorry, you just,
you can't take the dog.
290
00:13:27,578 --> 00:13:30,047
No, I can't, you can't...
291
00:13:34,418 --> 00:13:36,420
- I got your page, Bash.
- You ever held a living
292
00:13:36,487 --> 00:13:38,923
creature before because you
look completely unnatural, June.
293
00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:40,724
Then maybe you should
take him since you made
294
00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,693
such a big deal of him
staying in Trauma.
295
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,795
Okay... Geez.
296
00:13:45,229 --> 00:13:46,964
What are you guys
even doing here? I told you
297
00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:48,899
I'd fill you in if I had
any news on her surgery.
298
00:13:48,966 --> 00:13:52,069
We were just discussing
that while Mags is in recovery,
299
00:13:52,136 --> 00:13:54,672
if we split her shift,
they won't need to hire
a temp replacement.
300
00:13:54,738 --> 00:13:57,308
- I already have
my hands full trying to keep
my job from imploding.
301
00:13:57,374 --> 00:13:58,742
What, June, you won't help?
302
00:13:58,809 --> 00:14:01,011
Did she even ask you
to do this?
303
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:02,913
Wait here.
304
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,315
June...
305
00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:11,488
- I mean, Mags does work at,
like, three times the capacity
of a normal person.
306
00:14:11,555 --> 00:14:13,390
Are we even gonna make a dent?
307
00:14:14,124 --> 00:14:16,160
- She coded on the table.
- What?
308
00:14:16,227 --> 00:14:18,195
- June, did she--
- They were able to get her back
309
00:14:18,262 --> 00:14:21,432
- but it's not looking...
- That's all I could get.
310
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:23,434
Okay, then I'll
find out myself.
311
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,668
- Bash!
- What are you gonna do?
312
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:26,604
I have to talk to them,
maybe I can help!
313
00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:29,607
- Hey, hey!
- You can't just storm into the OR with zero context
314
00:14:29,673 --> 00:14:32,743
and distract the people
who can actually help her.
315
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:37,581
Bash...
316
00:14:46,490 --> 00:14:48,959
wailing)
317
00:15:09,079 --> 00:15:11,749
- It's about time!
- The poor girl's dying here.
318
00:15:12,283 --> 00:15:13,450
Your labs are back.
319
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,586
You're not gonna give me
the meds I asked for.
320
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,655
The risk of straining
your kidneys is too high.
321
00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:20,791
We're managing your pancreatic
inflammation with fluids.
322
00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:23,627
I know it's not the news
you wanted but...
323
00:15:23,694 --> 00:15:25,429
I own a restaurant.
324
00:15:25,496 --> 00:15:28,065
And you know,
it's my job to taste our food.
325
00:15:28,132 --> 00:15:30,801
Fatty foods being the exact
thing I'm supposed to avoid.
326
00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:33,537
- Well, isn't that a sick joke.
- Right?
327
00:15:33,604 --> 00:15:35,472
And usually I just have a taste.
328
00:15:35,539 --> 00:15:37,174
Only last night we were slammed.
329
00:15:37,241 --> 00:15:41,812
And after close, these 18-hour
short ribs were calling to me.
330
00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:44,014
Why won't you help her?
331
00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,950
I understand
this is frustrating.
332
00:15:46,016 --> 00:15:48,085
I can give you other suggestions
for pain management.
333
00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:50,220
It's just that we see a lot
of people come in
334
00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:52,456
with pancreatitis and based
on my personal experience--
335
00:15:52,523 --> 00:15:54,358
That's really what it's
about, though, isn't it?
336
00:15:54,425 --> 00:15:57,261
- Your experience.
- The day that you're having
337
00:15:57,328 --> 00:15:58,796
when you walk in the room.
338
00:15:58,862 --> 00:16:01,832
Once, a doctor at another
hospital seemed
339
00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:04,468
so personally offended that none
of his solutions were working,
340
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:06,971
he suggested I apply
for medically assisted death.
341
00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:09,873
Jesus. What is wrong
with you people?
342
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:13,377
- At least I know I have
a fall-back option in case
no one can help me here.
343
00:16:13,444 --> 00:16:14,878
This is your life, Paige.
344
00:16:14,945 --> 00:16:17,581
That's not some idle threat
to waive around.
345
00:16:21,151 --> 00:16:26,390
Someone else will come in
and offer you other suggestions
for pain management.
346
00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:36,300
Heard about your
friend Leblanc.
347
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:40,437
You bought $11,000 worth
of unsanctioned equipment.
348
00:16:40,504 --> 00:16:43,474
- Life-saving equipment.
- "Get you fired" equipment.
349
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,309
- I'm serious.
- While you were AWOL,
350
00:16:45,376 --> 00:16:48,245
Devi was trying to convince me
to help her find ways
of moving you out.
351
00:16:48,312 --> 00:16:50,080
- Well, did ya?
- No!
352
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:53,450
- Short-sighted on your part.
- It could've been a good career move for you.
353
00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:55,419
Why do you not care
about this?
354
00:16:55,486 --> 00:16:57,121
C'mon, what's wrong
with these doors?
355
00:16:57,187 --> 00:16:59,256
When we started Trauma OR
together, you loved it
356
00:16:59,323 --> 00:17:01,125
because building and making up
the rules as you go
357
00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,460
works for you, but actually
following them, not so much.
358
00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:05,696
Wow, that is
so insightful of you, June.
359
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,899
- You know what I don't get?
- If you don't like your job, why are you still here,
360
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:11,835
- when you could just leave?
- Why are you trying to get Devi to push you out?
361
00:17:11,902 --> 00:17:13,470
Because you won't let me!
362
00:17:13,537 --> 00:17:16,640
You keep dragging me
into conversations like this one
363
00:17:16,707 --> 00:17:21,078
in which you remind me
about important how our working
relationship is to you.
364
00:17:22,513 --> 00:17:24,982
I never wanted a partner.
365
00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:27,184
Then why did you recruit me?
366
00:17:27,251 --> 00:17:29,787
That was one
of my many mistakes.
367
00:17:32,156 --> 00:17:34,925
Okay, I'm pretty sure
this counts as harassment now.
368
00:17:34,992 --> 00:17:37,795
- Well, we're gonna have
this conversations because
I'm not just gonna walk away.
369
00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:42,099
- Really?
- You should try it sometimes because it really feels good.
370
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:43,901
I can't.
371
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:46,670
I'm thinking about
having a kid, okay?
372
00:17:46,737 --> 00:17:50,107
There. And if I do something
that's that crazy by myself,
373
00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,810
I need to know that my work
environment is stable.
374
00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:55,279
And I know you don't
want me putting my emotional
stability on you.
375
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:58,816
- Guilt tripping me
because you're suddenly nesting
is the opposite of that.
376
00:17:58,882 --> 00:18:01,018
It's not why I'm saying this.
377
00:18:01,085 --> 00:18:03,153
I actually like being
your partner.
378
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,355
- And I know you like it, too.
- Like, you would miss it
379
00:18:05,422 --> 00:18:09,026
if you got run out of here
for being a stubborn idiot!
380
00:18:09,093 --> 00:18:10,761
Oh, how magnanimous
of you, June.
381
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,963
I care about
what happens to you, Mark!
382
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:15,199
The only reason
our partnership exists
383
00:18:15,265 --> 00:18:18,168
is because you stepped over me
to get yourself power.
384
00:18:18,235 --> 00:18:20,037
That happened,
like, months ago.
385
00:18:20,104 --> 00:18:22,806
You could've told me
something instead of burning me!
386
00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,608
That actually hurt you?
387
00:18:25,976 --> 00:18:27,878
That proves my point.
388
00:18:27,945 --> 00:18:29,146
You care.
389
00:18:29,213 --> 00:18:32,449
You're too damaged
to be a mother, June.
390
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,724
Where's Paige?
391
00:18:41,492 --> 00:18:42,726
What the...
392
00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:45,562
Kathy?
393
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,265
Seriously?
394
00:18:48,332 --> 00:18:50,267
Figured what harm
could it do now, right?
395
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:52,903
But this is a hospital,
you're in heart failure,
396
00:18:52,970 --> 00:18:54,905
and you have a sick roommate!
397
00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:57,241
Not anymore, Paige left!
398
00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:59,376
Left, what do you mean "left"?
399
00:18:59,443 --> 00:19:01,145
Well, the details
are between me and her,
400
00:19:01,211 --> 00:19:04,715
but I will tell you that this
place failed her big time!
401
00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:06,083
Do you know where she is?
402
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:07,751
Because she still
needs treatment.
403
00:19:07,818 --> 00:19:10,187
She needs fluids
and pain control.
404
00:19:10,254 --> 00:19:11,655
Is that what these are? Nice!
405
00:19:11,722 --> 00:19:13,690
Hey, those are
basically morphine!
406
00:19:13,757 --> 00:19:16,860
- Oh! Beautiful!
- Anyway, why?
407
00:19:16,927 --> 00:19:20,063
Paige already told you
that the good stuff doesn't
even work on her.
408
00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:22,933
Those were not meant for you!
409
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:28,839
Well, screw me for wanting to
feel good, you uncaring bitch!
410
00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:41,385
Where have you been?
411
00:19:41,451 --> 00:19:45,055
I mean, you weren't here
to stop Paige from leaving.
412
00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:46,957
To go where?
413
00:19:51,161 --> 00:19:54,731
Of course, Abby swore she
wanted to go on the drop ride,
414
00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:58,135
but as soon as we got to
the top, she panicked, poor kid.
415
00:19:58,202 --> 00:20:01,605
- Just give it a couple of days,
she'll remember it like
she conquered it.
416
00:20:01,672 --> 00:20:04,875
Uh, hey, do you mind
if we sit?
417
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,410
Sure.
418
00:20:07,211 --> 00:20:11,148
Uh, look, I don't want you
419
00:20:11,215 --> 00:20:14,218
to feel like you need
to hide from me, son.
420
00:20:14,284 --> 00:20:17,621
You know, whether you're, well,
dating that person or not--
421
00:20:17,688 --> 00:20:18,889
- Dad...
- No, no, no.
422
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,058
I should not have pried,
that wasn't...
423
00:20:21,124 --> 00:20:22,693
Not my business.
424
00:20:22,759 --> 00:20:24,895
And to set an example,
425
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:30,367
you should know that I am
no longer with the church.
426
00:20:31,001 --> 00:20:32,536
You retired,
Dad, that's big--
427
00:20:32,603 --> 00:20:36,473
- No, no, no, not retired.
- Uh... resigned.
428
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:41,979
I wanted to tell you, but
you're always so busy and, uh...
429
00:20:42,045 --> 00:20:46,049
Okay, but... So you and Mom,
you still go, right?
430
00:20:46,116 --> 00:20:50,120
Uh, well, yeah,
your mother, from time to time.
431
00:20:50,187 --> 00:20:53,123
But it would be
too weird for me.
432
00:20:54,258 --> 00:20:57,127
And actually,
I work Sundays now.
433
00:20:57,194 --> 00:20:59,930
Yeah, for a small
landscaping outfit.
434
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,565
You know, it's, uh...
435
00:21:01,632 --> 00:21:06,336
Dad, you gave up
a lead pastor to, what?
436
00:21:06,403 --> 00:21:10,173
Trim hedges? You've been doing
that job for 30 years, Dad!
437
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,943
The church has stayed
exactly the same.
438
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:18,749
And there are just things
about that that I can't
reconcile anymore.
439
00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,852
- You used to say
that wrestling with doubt
was a good thing.
440
00:21:21,918 --> 00:21:23,854
- Yeah.
- Right, that, uh...
441
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,790
- faith grows with the fight.
- You would say that.
442
00:21:26,857 --> 00:21:28,292
I still believe that.
443
00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:30,627
You know what, I also,
I sometimes wonder, perhaps,
444
00:21:30,694 --> 00:21:33,230
I pushed you too far towards
something that I believed.
445
00:21:33,297 --> 00:21:34,731
You know, maybe
that's why you left.
446
00:21:34,798 --> 00:21:36,667
Oh, so now it's my fault
that you're throwing away
447
00:21:36,733 --> 00:21:38,602
- everything we grew up believing?
- Dad, that's unhinged.
448
00:21:38,669 --> 00:21:40,771
- That's...
- It's not, it's not, Theo.
449
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:43,140
No, I think it's so brave
what you did.
450
00:21:43,206 --> 00:21:48,111
- It is.
- Recognizing that you weren't happy, and then changing your life.
451
00:21:48,178 --> 00:21:50,380
The path that you were on.
452
00:21:50,447 --> 00:21:52,983
No. Look, if anything,
that inspired me.
453
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,451
Oh...
454
00:21:55,218 --> 00:21:59,690
Do not rethink your calling
because of me, please.
455
00:22:13,704 --> 00:22:14,871
Hey.
456
00:22:15,272 --> 00:22:16,707
Still no news.
457
00:22:17,107 --> 00:22:18,375
How you doing?
458
00:22:18,909 --> 00:22:20,577
Don't really know.
459
00:22:24,181 --> 00:22:27,551
Think I was a little
harsh earlier.
460
00:22:28,051 --> 00:22:31,221
Just don't know how
to deal with these things.
461
00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:34,124
You're asking me how?
462
00:22:35,225 --> 00:22:36,993
I was gonna go pray.
463
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,762
Does that really work for you?
464
00:22:39,329 --> 00:22:40,597
Uh-huh.
465
00:22:41,898 --> 00:22:44,768
Also, it just gets me
out of my head,
466
00:22:44,835 --> 00:22:46,570
so I don't do
something like...
467
00:22:46,636 --> 00:22:48,705
Barge into an operating room.
468
00:22:48,772 --> 00:22:50,073
Yeah...
469
00:22:50,607 --> 00:22:52,642
Look, if Mags, uh...
470
00:22:56,179 --> 00:22:58,815
If she doesn't make it,
I just...
471
00:22:59,850 --> 00:23:02,052
I think that's it for me, June.
472
00:23:03,587 --> 00:23:05,255
What do you mean?
473
00:23:05,789 --> 00:23:07,124
No...
474
00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:09,226
Not that.
475
00:23:09,292 --> 00:23:10,961
I just...
476
00:23:14,731 --> 00:23:18,335
I just know I won't be
able to start over.
477
00:23:19,169 --> 00:23:21,171
No, not again.
478
00:23:27,277 --> 00:23:29,479
laying)
479
00:24:25,035 --> 00:24:26,403
How do you feel?
480
00:24:27,304 --> 00:24:29,639
I was dreaming
about the anesthetic.
481
00:24:29,706 --> 00:24:31,775
That sleep is so heavy.
482
00:24:31,842 --> 00:24:35,479
Every time I wake up now,
I feel a huge wave of relief
483
00:24:35,545 --> 00:24:39,416
washing over me when I realize
how lucky I am to have made it.
484
00:24:40,517 --> 00:24:42,552
I'm making vegetable soup.
485
00:24:42,619 --> 00:24:45,222
Think you'll be hungry later?
486
00:24:45,722 --> 00:24:47,457
Maybe.
487
00:24:51,628 --> 00:24:53,263
Hey, Dad.
488
00:25:06,009 --> 00:25:07,577
Who died?
489
00:25:18,722 --> 00:25:19,856
Hi, Paige.
490
00:25:19,923 --> 00:25:22,626
It's Dr. Hamed from
York Memorial, again.
491
00:25:22,692 --> 00:25:25,795
You haven't returned
any of my calls so...
492
00:25:25,862 --> 00:25:28,131
just checking
if everything's okay.
493
00:25:29,466 --> 00:25:30,867
You're on my bed.
494
00:25:30,934 --> 00:25:33,870
Yeah, you asked me
to lie here earlier.
495
00:25:33,937 --> 00:25:35,939
- I did?
- Hmm.
496
00:25:37,007 --> 00:25:40,310
These immunosuppressants
are messing me up.
497
00:25:40,377 --> 00:25:42,679
I feel so spaced out.
498
00:25:43,747 --> 00:25:46,483
- And is that a rash?
- I feel itchy.
499
00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:51,187
No, I don't see anything,
but let's keep an eye on it.
500
00:25:52,556 --> 00:25:54,224
Who were you talking to?
501
00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:56,860
Uh, a patient
with pancreatitis.
502
00:25:56,927 --> 00:26:01,131
She left AMA and things ended
sort of weird between us.
503
00:26:01,197 --> 00:26:03,833
Mmm, maybe she
just needs space.
504
00:26:03,900 --> 00:26:07,203
- What if she needs help?
- She can ask.
505
00:26:07,270 --> 00:26:09,372
You know, it's gotta
come from her.
506
00:26:13,109 --> 00:26:15,879
I wish I didn't need
all the drugs that
they're putting me on.
507
00:26:16,346 --> 00:26:19,983
Hey, look, you and I both
know that the immune system...
508
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:24,287
attacks foreign substances.
In this case, that's organs.
509
00:26:24,354 --> 00:26:26,723
Will it be the heart
that rejects the patient
510
00:26:26,790 --> 00:26:29,159
or the patient
that rejects the heart?
511
00:26:29,225 --> 00:26:32,596
Both of those options
end in rejection.
512
00:26:34,764 --> 00:26:38,935
Because it was never mine
to begin with, the heart.
513
00:26:39,402 --> 00:26:44,040
And now, part of another human
being is braiding with me.
514
00:26:46,476 --> 00:26:49,045
Should I be happy
that that's all behind me
515
00:26:49,112 --> 00:26:50,513
or afraid about what's ahead?
516
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:52,182
Bash called
while you were asleep.
517
00:26:54,985 --> 00:26:58,755
If you want me to tell him
to lay off a bit, I can do that.
518
00:26:58,822 --> 00:27:00,523
Gently.
519
00:27:02,959 --> 00:27:04,461
How do you feel?
520
00:27:04,527 --> 00:27:07,697
I would love it if people
would stop asking me that.
521
00:27:09,699 --> 00:27:11,668
Mum's making soup.
522
00:27:12,636 --> 00:27:15,672
Well, if you must know,
I feel like a zombie.
523
00:27:15,739 --> 00:27:18,375
Like the Walking Dead.
524
00:27:19,042 --> 00:27:20,877
Oh, how long
it's been like that?
525
00:27:20,944 --> 00:27:24,147
- I think it just came on.
- Is it time for your meds?
526
00:27:25,081 --> 00:27:28,218
- What if they're not working?
- Magalie, don't.
527
00:27:28,284 --> 00:27:30,654
Your doctor's checked in every
day, he says you're good.
528
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,591
- I can feel it, Cam.
- I can feel it trying to fight its way out of me.
529
00:27:34,658 --> 00:27:36,660
The funny thing is
she fought so hard
530
00:27:36,726 --> 00:27:38,361
to get into this art school,
531
00:27:38,428 --> 00:27:40,997
and now, the thing she likes
the most is math.
532
00:27:41,064 --> 00:27:43,366
Well, you know,
533
00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:45,468
not knowing what path
they're on is part of the fun.
534
00:27:45,535 --> 00:27:47,837
This feels like
a horrible memory.
535
00:27:48,405 --> 00:27:51,708
Being 12 years old and you guys
were so worried about me.
536
00:27:55,111 --> 00:27:57,580
Never too late to start again.
537
00:27:57,647 --> 00:27:59,549
What were you saying
about your sister?
538
00:27:59,616 --> 00:28:03,920
- Oh, she got invited
to the STEM exchange program
at this school in England
539
00:28:03,987 --> 00:28:06,022
for kids who excel at math,
540
00:28:06,089 --> 00:28:07,957
and I can't decide
whether to let her go.
541
00:28:08,024 --> 00:28:10,060
Mmm, they all go eventually.
542
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,662
Bon appétit.
543
00:28:13,263 --> 00:28:15,098
- Something went wrong.
- We've lost her.
544
00:28:19,769 --> 00:28:21,204
You'll never work
again after this.
545
00:28:21,971 --> 00:28:24,207
No! There's a bad rash,
Dr. Zhang.
546
00:28:24,274 --> 00:28:25,508
And her fever won't
come down now!
547
00:28:25,575 --> 00:28:27,277
We need to get it out.
548
00:28:27,844 --> 00:28:29,045
Please!
549
00:28:29,112 --> 00:28:30,580
Magalie, you're only dreaming.
550
00:28:30,647 --> 00:28:32,449
Please!
551
00:28:33,717 --> 00:28:35,218
You need to get it
out of me now!
552
00:28:42,358 --> 00:28:44,360
♪Memories ♪
553
00:28:45,762 --> 00:28:48,698
♪Feel like a disease... ♪♪
554
00:28:54,204 --> 00:28:55,672
Come in.
555
00:28:56,506 --> 00:29:00,176
Hey, Cam said you need
to be awake anyway.
556
00:29:00,243 --> 00:29:03,146
Yeah, come sit.
557
00:29:04,514 --> 00:29:06,950
Tell me...
558
00:29:07,751 --> 00:29:10,019
What's the panic level
out there really?
559
00:29:10,086 --> 00:29:12,288
Um...
560
00:29:12,355 --> 00:29:15,225
Well, your mother thinks
that her soup will solve
561
00:29:15,291 --> 00:29:18,661
all of your problems
and I assured her
you would be fine.
562
00:29:19,395 --> 00:29:22,398
I love that I don't have
to pretend with you.
563
00:29:23,366 --> 00:29:26,770
- It does seem
like you're adjusting
to your meds better now.
564
00:29:26,836 --> 00:29:31,407
I know it's been a rocky couple
of weeks in this place.
565
00:29:31,474 --> 00:29:32,842
Yeah...
566
00:29:35,478 --> 00:29:37,347
- Mags--
- What is it?
567
00:29:37,413 --> 00:29:40,650
I had a thought
during your surgery
568
00:29:40,717 --> 00:29:44,687
when I got scared that you
weren't going to come out of it.
569
00:29:44,754 --> 00:29:46,589
Every time I fall asleep now,
570
00:29:46,656 --> 00:29:48,691
I'm afraid I'm not
gonna wake up.
571
00:29:50,059 --> 00:29:52,328
It's been really unsettling.
572
00:29:52,395 --> 00:29:55,565
That's normal,
it'll take time.
573
00:29:56,332 --> 00:29:57,867
What thought?
574
00:29:59,035 --> 00:30:02,672
Look, I know when
you and I were together,
575
00:30:02,739 --> 00:30:04,274
we had our issues
on figuring out
576
00:30:04,340 --> 00:30:06,042
how we were going
to move forward
577
00:30:06,109 --> 00:30:08,244
or if we were going to at all.
578
00:30:08,311 --> 00:30:12,649
And I know a lot of that was
me and my fears, but...
579
00:30:15,218 --> 00:30:17,921
I can't see a future
unless you're in it.
580
00:30:19,088 --> 00:30:22,792
- This is real, Mags.
- I want this to be real.
581
00:30:35,605 --> 00:30:39,309
Did you... make this when
you thought Mags might die?
582
00:30:39,375 --> 00:30:41,211
Um...
583
00:30:41,911 --> 00:30:44,848
It was like the day
of her surgery,
584
00:30:44,914 --> 00:30:49,285
but it's not usually,
like, about one thing.
585
00:30:49,352 --> 00:30:51,221
It's about everything.
586
00:30:53,122 --> 00:30:55,525
When we were together,
587
00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:58,962
I had no idea
this was a part of you.
588
00:30:59,829 --> 00:31:02,966
I've never been good
at letting people know me.
589
00:31:03,032 --> 00:31:05,935
Not sure that's true anymore.
590
00:31:32,161 --> 00:31:34,864
- Hey, Karim.
- Hey, Bashir.
591
00:31:34,931 --> 00:31:37,233
I got your call this morning,
I was just, uh--
592
00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:39,068
I put it all
on the line with Mags.
593
00:31:39,135 --> 00:31:41,738
I told her that I want us
to be together
594
00:31:41,804 --> 00:31:44,607
and she has to think about it.
595
00:31:44,674 --> 00:31:47,210
- How's she doing these days?
- It's been, uh,
596
00:31:47,277 --> 00:31:49,679
it's been a couple of weeks
since her surgery.
597
00:31:49,746 --> 00:31:51,681
She's moving around
the apartment,
598
00:31:51,748 --> 00:31:54,284
but there's also
the psychological component
599
00:31:54,350 --> 00:31:56,986
of when do I get
to believe I've survived,
600
00:31:57,053 --> 00:31:58,922
and I get that because it's...
601
00:31:58,988 --> 00:32:00,390
Can we go in here?
602
00:32:00,456 --> 00:32:02,625
Uh, yeah, sure.
603
00:32:09,499 --> 00:32:11,334
Bashir, do you know
what transference is?
604
00:32:11,401 --> 00:32:15,305
Uh, it's when an emotion
gets redirected to...
605
00:32:15,371 --> 00:32:16,873
where it doesn't belong.
606
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,542
You think that's what
I'm doing with Mags.
607
00:32:19,609 --> 00:32:21,311
Actually,
I'm talking about us.
608
00:32:21,377 --> 00:32:23,947
You call or text with thoughts
609
00:32:24,013 --> 00:32:27,216
and ask questions like a friend
or family member would.
610
00:32:27,283 --> 00:32:28,751
- Yeah--
- Just wait.
611
00:32:28,818 --> 00:32:31,054
- I'm gonna get through this.
- I think because you and I
612
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,691
are similar in so many ways,
culturally, in part, yes,
613
00:32:34,757 --> 00:32:36,726
but also just personality-wise,
614
00:32:36,793 --> 00:32:39,862
that it's been easier for me
to let my boundaries lax.
615
00:32:39,929 --> 00:32:43,066
And you have this need
for a brother,
616
00:32:43,132 --> 00:32:45,268
or father figure,
or role model...
617
00:32:46,202 --> 00:32:47,804
And it pulls at me, man.
618
00:32:48,338 --> 00:32:50,773
So as your therapist,
I've let my guard down.
619
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,710
I also should never have told
you about my brother who died.
620
00:32:53,776 --> 00:32:56,512
- Bu--
- That was about me.
621
00:32:56,579 --> 00:32:59,015
And it crossed a line
I have never crossed before.
622
00:32:59,082 --> 00:33:01,117
Is any of this making sense?
623
00:33:02,485 --> 00:33:04,454
The work we're doing,
it's helping.
624
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,357
I know, but I need
to keep a firm grasp
625
00:33:07,423 --> 00:33:09,726
- on professional boundaries.
- I just...
626
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,595
...can't be your brother.
627
00:33:16,899 --> 00:33:19,535
Are you firing me
as your patient?
628
00:33:19,602 --> 00:33:23,840
No, but I do hope
that we can reset.
629
00:33:24,507 --> 00:33:27,443
So book an appointment
and we'll talk then.
630
00:33:39,622 --> 00:33:41,791
- Hey, Esther.
- Hey!
631
00:33:41,858 --> 00:33:44,160
Your dad hanging in?
632
00:33:44,227 --> 00:33:46,662
I don't know, he kind
of looked tired or...
633
00:33:46,729 --> 00:33:50,466
- Crazy?
- Yo, he murdered that coyote.
634
00:33:50,533 --> 00:33:53,669
- What, why?
- Revenge, he said.
635
00:33:53,736 --> 00:33:56,172
Like, we don't even know
if it was the same one.
636
00:33:56,239 --> 00:33:58,408
- Killed it with what?
- A hunting rifle.
637
00:33:58,474 --> 00:34:04,614
After the attack, he went out,
looking every night just...
638
00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:09,685
I'm worried about him.
639
00:34:09,752 --> 00:34:11,287
Yeah, I guess so.
640
00:34:11,354 --> 00:34:15,291
And he raised us on his own,
that's a lot to carry.
641
00:34:15,358 --> 00:34:17,060
And even Bertie's upset.
642
00:34:17,126 --> 00:34:20,496
I mean, this is a trauma
on all of us.
643
00:34:20,563 --> 00:34:22,398
Look, I checked back in
with Plastics,
644
00:34:22,465 --> 00:34:24,534
and they said your second
surgery went well.
645
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,237
Yeah, I mean, I can swallow
better, if that's what you mean.
646
00:34:28,304 --> 00:34:31,074
Do you think after the next one
though I can go home,
647
00:34:31,140 --> 00:34:35,044
maybe help my dad, even make it
back for Fall semester?
648
00:34:35,111 --> 00:34:37,280
Look, Esther...
649
00:34:39,782 --> 00:34:42,618
About a year ago,
I was in a helicopter crash.
650
00:34:42,685 --> 00:34:45,621
Pilot died and I got stranded
in the woods.
651
00:34:46,222 --> 00:34:49,358
Okay? I mean, wow!
652
00:34:49,425 --> 00:34:51,627
- But--
- Why am I telling you this?
653
00:34:52,562 --> 00:34:54,931
I know I promised you that
everything would be fine.
654
00:34:54,997 --> 00:34:57,767
- Are you saying that it's not?
- No.
655
00:34:57,834 --> 00:35:00,336
- I'm just saying tha--
- Because you seem okay to me.
656
00:35:00,403 --> 00:35:02,004
And am I. I am.
657
00:35:02,071 --> 00:35:05,475
And I barely even think
about it anymore.
658
00:35:05,942 --> 00:35:08,344
But I'm just now starting
to understand
659
00:35:08,411 --> 00:35:09,712
the effects that it had on me.
660
00:35:09,779 --> 00:35:13,149
I don't really know what
to do with any of that.
661
00:35:13,216 --> 00:35:16,152
- I know.
- Which is kind of my point.
662
00:35:16,219 --> 00:35:20,323
Okay, how you react
to all of this, just trust me,
663
00:35:20,389 --> 00:35:23,192
and just try to take it slow.
664
00:35:23,926 --> 00:35:26,395
I'm gonna go check on your dad.
665
00:35:29,265 --> 00:35:30,700
I need help out here!
666
00:35:30,766 --> 00:35:32,502
Need some help down here!
667
00:35:35,037 --> 00:35:37,306
Arnold, what is this?
668
00:35:37,373 --> 00:35:38,875
I just found her
collapsed here.
669
00:35:38,941 --> 00:35:41,110
- Her O2 SAT's brutal, Claire.
- This is Kathy,
670
00:35:41,177 --> 00:35:42,745
she's been in and out with
congestive heart failure.
671
00:35:42,812 --> 00:35:44,447
I heard a tonne of fluid.
672
00:35:44,514 --> 00:35:46,415
- Prep trauma.
- Yeah!
673
00:35:49,018 --> 00:35:51,187
- Kathy, hey!
- Hang in there.
674
00:35:51,254 --> 00:35:53,789
Hang in there, we're gonna
help you breathe, okay?
675
00:35:53,856 --> 00:35:56,526
No. No!
676
00:35:56,592 --> 00:35:58,594
No, not you!
677
00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:02,665
Mr. Danbury, Murray.
678
00:36:02,732 --> 00:36:06,102
I know it's been a tough few
weeks, but I just wanted to...
679
00:36:06,636 --> 00:36:08,871
- What?
- Uh...
680
00:36:08,938 --> 00:36:10,506
Am I crying blood?
681
00:36:10,973 --> 00:36:13,176
- Uh, June. Have you seen this?
- Yeah?
682
00:36:15,378 --> 00:36:17,280
- I'll get that, you get this.
- Yeah, okay.
683
00:36:17,346 --> 00:36:20,750
- Hi, sir.
- Just look at me.
684
00:36:29,625 --> 00:36:31,227
Claire...
685
00:36:31,761 --> 00:36:33,095
Claire.
686
00:36:33,462 --> 00:36:34,830
It's over.
687
00:36:40,002 --> 00:36:41,671
She wouldn't let me tube her.
688
00:36:41,737 --> 00:36:45,608
By the time help came
and got her on the bed,
she deteriorated so fast.
689
00:36:45,675 --> 00:36:47,476
I did three rounds of CPR.
690
00:36:47,543 --> 00:36:50,179
I don't even know how she got
here, who brought her in.
691
00:36:50,246 --> 00:36:51,447
I did.
692
00:37:01,591 --> 00:37:03,993
my street
knew where that thing slept.
693
00:37:04,060 --> 00:37:06,596
This city wasn't going to do
anything about it so...
694
00:37:06,662 --> 00:37:09,699
But did you physically
handle the animal?
695
00:37:09,765 --> 00:37:11,634
After I shot it...
696
00:37:11,701 --> 00:37:15,171
I used to go hunting
with my uncle, I still
have my old rifle.
697
00:37:15,771 --> 00:37:17,506
Anyway, I did the right thing.
698
00:37:17,573 --> 00:37:20,943
I made sure it was dead,
not in any pain.
699
00:37:21,544 --> 00:37:22,778
Why?
700
00:37:22,845 --> 00:37:25,214
Uh, coyotes can carry bacteria
701
00:37:25,281 --> 00:37:26,682
that is harmful to humans.
702
00:37:26,749 --> 00:37:28,551
What, like rabies?
703
00:37:28,618 --> 00:37:30,019
Hmm...
704
00:37:30,086 --> 00:37:31,454
Because I've been feeling
kind of fluish.
705
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,022
It could be something
called tularemia.
706
00:37:33,089 --> 00:37:34,390
When Esther came in, we gave her
707
00:37:34,457 --> 00:37:35,691
some precautionary antibiotics,
708
00:37:35,758 --> 00:37:37,560
but if you had it on your hands,
709
00:37:37,627 --> 00:37:39,328
and then you touched
your eye...
710
00:37:39,962 --> 00:37:42,565
Okay, so Murray, I'm gonna have
to cut into the tissue
711
00:37:42,632 --> 00:37:45,434
in order to drain the abscess
or else you might go blind,
712
00:37:45,501 --> 00:37:48,871
but, I am gonna numb your first.
713
00:37:55,978 --> 00:37:58,447
- I know it was stupid.
- Just one more.
714
00:37:59,181 --> 00:38:02,251
I just couldn't sleep knowing
that thing was still out there.
715
00:38:02,318 --> 00:38:03,552
Yeah...
716
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,489
I know you think I'm crazy.
717
00:38:09,525 --> 00:38:13,229
Actually, I was wondering
if it made you feel better?
718
00:38:14,096 --> 00:38:16,699
I love those kids so much.
719
00:38:17,300 --> 00:38:19,168
It's worth the pain.
720
00:38:32,381 --> 00:38:35,184
She texted me after
I left that day.
721
00:38:35,951 --> 00:38:39,155
I invited her to the restaurant,
cooked her a steak.
722
00:38:39,221 --> 00:38:40,990
We've both been feeling lousy.
723
00:38:41,057 --> 00:38:43,092
Ended up making
friends over that.
724
00:38:43,159 --> 00:38:44,860
Sick friends.
725
00:38:45,328 --> 00:38:48,464
- I'm sorry, Paige.
- You called me a lot.
726
00:38:48,531 --> 00:38:50,533
Yeah, are you still in pain?
727
00:38:50,599 --> 00:38:52,535
We'll get you into a room,
728
00:38:52,601 --> 00:38:55,271
- I'll give you an IV of Toradol.
- Now you'll do what I want.
729
00:38:55,338 --> 00:38:57,740
Two weeks ago it was such
a big risk, but now it's not?
730
00:38:57,807 --> 00:38:59,575
- It's still a risk.
- Then why did my friend
731
00:38:59,642 --> 00:39:01,510
have to die for you to take it?
732
00:39:03,746 --> 00:39:07,083
Look, I am the kind of doctor
that takes risks.
733
00:39:07,149 --> 00:39:10,820
It's just that day,
I was trying not to overreact
734
00:39:10,886 --> 00:39:13,222
to something that was
happening in my life.
735
00:39:13,289 --> 00:39:15,858
Kathy was right about me
making it personal.
736
00:39:16,892 --> 00:39:18,794
Let me help you now.
737
00:39:28,871 --> 00:39:30,239
What is this?
738
00:39:30,306 --> 00:39:32,341
Dr. Novak and I have
been discussing
739
00:39:32,408 --> 00:39:35,244
our working situation,
and we've decided--
740
00:39:35,311 --> 00:39:38,013
- You've decided.
- It's been decided
741
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,851
that he's gonna be transitioning
out of Trauma OR
742
00:39:41,917 --> 00:39:45,020
and no longer connected
to the emergency department.
743
00:39:45,087 --> 00:39:48,224
"Banished". That's the word
she's looking for.
744
00:39:48,290 --> 00:39:52,027
We wanted you to hear it,
officially, from the both of us.
745
00:39:52,094 --> 00:39:53,462
Heard.
746
00:39:54,029 --> 00:39:55,398
June?
747
00:39:56,198 --> 00:39:57,233
June!
748
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,036
Yeah, I guess you're right.
I'm a starter, not a stayer.
749
00:40:01,103 --> 00:40:02,638
So you're leaving
the hospital?
750
00:40:02,705 --> 00:40:04,607
No, no. I have
some friends still upstairs
751
00:40:04,673 --> 00:40:06,142
that are willing
to slot me in.
752
00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:07,943
Maybe I'd ask what
this means for me, but...
753
00:40:08,010 --> 00:40:09,845
I wouldn't want
to sound too damaged.
754
00:40:09,912 --> 00:40:12,515
Yeah, June, uh...
755
00:40:13,916 --> 00:40:17,119
When I said that, look,
it wasn't about...
756
00:40:33,636 --> 00:40:36,105
Hey, how was
your follow-up appointment?
757
00:40:36,172 --> 00:40:37,940
- I'm on my way there now.
- Okay.
758
00:40:38,007 --> 00:40:39,442
But Bash...
759
00:40:41,277 --> 00:40:43,779
I want it to be real, too.
760
00:40:46,182 --> 00:40:47,349
You do?
761
00:41:09,405 --> 00:41:11,941
Sasha and her mom have already
been waiting 10 minutes.
762
00:41:12,007 --> 00:41:14,243
Uh, I thought it was
in my bag, but it isn't.
763
00:41:14,310 --> 00:41:16,679
- My math.
- Where did you see it last?
764
00:41:16,745 --> 00:41:18,647
I don't know, but I have
to study on the way.
765
00:41:18,714 --> 00:41:23,052
- Mr.
- Redican said that if we don't pass this test, we can't go on the trip.
766
00:41:23,118 --> 00:41:24,653
Found it!
767
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,722
Oh, my God, Mags,
you saved my life.
768
00:41:29,525 --> 00:41:30,826
Okay, one second!
769
00:41:30,893 --> 00:41:32,127
I'm doing nine to two today.
770
00:41:32,194 --> 00:41:33,629
I'll crossover
with you at one.
771
00:41:33,696 --> 00:41:36,499
Yesterday, I stayed until
four without hitting a wall.
772
00:41:36,565 --> 00:41:39,034
That's great, just don't push
yourself too hard, okay?
773
00:41:39,101 --> 00:41:40,636
The whole reason
I'm covering for you is--
774
00:41:40,703 --> 00:41:43,005
Bash, you're picking me up
from rehearsal later, right?
775
00:41:43,072 --> 00:41:45,074
- I work until nine.
- I'll do it!
776
00:41:45,140 --> 00:41:46,542
And then we can grab
a late dinner.
777
00:41:46,609 --> 00:41:48,043
- Great.
- Okay, just not burgers.
778
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:50,446
- I can't do burgers ever.
- Amira, lunch.
779
00:41:54,283 --> 00:41:56,285
That is never not exhausting.
780
00:41:56,352 --> 00:41:59,822
Mmm, their student exchange
trip is in...
781
00:41:59,889 --> 00:42:01,156
Two weeks.
782
00:42:01,223 --> 00:42:02,458
She used the word "nerve-cited"
783
00:42:02,525 --> 00:42:04,793
to describe how she's feeling
about living
784
00:42:04,860 --> 00:42:06,829
in a foreign continent
for a month.
785
00:42:06,896 --> 00:42:08,664
- You, too?
- Um...
786
00:42:08,731 --> 00:42:11,000
I can still stop it
from happening,
787
00:42:11,066 --> 00:42:13,969
it's just...
if that feeling's more about me,
788
00:42:14,036 --> 00:42:16,872
then I should probably
just stay out of her way.
789
00:42:16,939 --> 00:42:18,507
Makes sense, it's hard.
790
00:42:18,574 --> 00:42:19,775
Mmm.
791
00:42:20,776 --> 00:42:22,211
Tell me what you think.
792
00:42:22,278 --> 00:42:23,712
I think she should go.
793
00:42:27,516 --> 00:42:30,119
- Are you staying over tonight?
- Yes.
794
00:42:30,185 --> 00:42:32,221
But I'll see you at one!
795
00:42:39,862 --> 00:42:41,664
♪Memories ♪
796
00:42:43,566 --> 00:42:45,901
♪Forgive me please ♪
797
00:42:48,504 --> 00:42:51,874
♪I'm lonesome without you ♪
798
00:42:52,641 --> 00:42:56,712
♪But I'm a wreck
thinking about you ♪
799
00:42:56,779 --> 00:42:59,081
♪Just memories ♪
800
00:43:01,517 --> 00:43:04,787
♪As far as my mind can see ♪
801
00:43:06,455 --> 00:43:12,127
♪It's too sad looking back ♪♪
802
00:43:22,871 --> 00:43:26,008
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