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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:02,970
Anti-depressants,
anti-bullying,
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,706
the acceptance
of diversity,
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:09,110
people staring at their
phones instead of realizing
how meaningless life is --
4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:12,713
Suicides are way down,
gentlemen, and now...this.
5
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,015
You know who this is?
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,450
Yes.
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,951
Who is it?
8
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,123
I don't know.
Dr. Paul Nickgibbion.
9
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,558
Oh, is that that weird
assisted
10
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,460
Ohh, yeah,
the guy is so metal!
11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,962
Yeah, but that son of
a bitch hasn't sent me
any suicide in months.
12
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,265
Well, maybe they're just angels
up in sweet, sweet Heaven.
13
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,033
Gary, suicide is a sin.
14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,635
How have you been
down here this long
and you don't know that?
15
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:35,803
Here.
-Okay.
16
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,971
All right,
you can boil a child
17
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,473
in a bucket
full of breast milk.
18
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,641
Yeah, that's a sin,
of course.
19
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,143
But you can't wear
polyester?
20
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,278
We're covered
in polyester.
That's why.
21
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,147
Listen, I want you two
to go topside.
22
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,316
Find this Nickgibbion,
all right?
23
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,451
I want that suicide train
running again.
You got it.
You got it.
24
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,053
Tell me -- Um, can we use
the corporate card for this?
25
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,655
-Yeah, knock yourselves out.
-Yes!
26
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,157
Um, thing
about the corporate account --
27
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,392
Do you remember how you spent
that week sort of, like,
28
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,894
exploding my bottom with
a bunch of lightning bolts
and then it set my pants on fire
29
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,164
and then you rip off
my pants and then you
shove 'em up my ass...
30
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,266
Yeah, I remember that.
Mm-hmm.
...and then you set me
on fire?
31
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,468
My wallet was in those pants,
and so my card got demagnetized.
Uh-huh.
32
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:11,172
So, can I get some petty cash
for that, or can I...
33
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,608
I don't have money!
34
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,778
**
35
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,115
Thank you for coming.
36
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,351
I'm just happy to know
I can get to see
37
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,319
each of you
one more time
38
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,956
before I join my maker...
39
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,325
up in Heaven.
40
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,595
Ohh.
E-Excuse me.
41
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,863
Can I?
Thank you.
42
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,366
Thank you.
Yeah, just for a second.
43
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,134
Would you mind, like, uh,
44
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,203
spreading this out
on the chair there?
45
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,638
Don't mind me, just --
Y-You can keep on going
46
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,140
with your poetry
and your final goodbyes.
47
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:49,143
I just got to spread this out.
48
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,712
Dr. Nickgibbion: Hello!
49
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,447
Who are these
two handsome devils?
50
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,949
Hey. I'm Claude.
I e-mailed you.
Mm.
51
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,651
Shouldn't you be
inside working?
52
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,221
Ahh, watch. Watch.
53
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,456
All is taken care of.
54
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:06,294
You know, I was supposed to be
injected with sodium pentothal.
55
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,198
But I told Dr. Nickgibbion
I was deathly afraid of needles.
56
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:15,403
Please, stop banging
those pots, cooking --
57
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,570
whatever you're doing!
58
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,574
Aah!
59
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,379
Robot: Our Father,
who art in Heaven,
60
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,747
hallowed be Thy name.
61
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,382
Thy kingdom come.
Both: Ohh!
62
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,584
Thy will be done on Earth,
as it is in Heaven.
63
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,253
Gary: It's just
mashing him up!
64
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,087
Give us this day
our daily bread.
Run! Get out of there!
65
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,423
And forgive us
our trespasses.
66
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,491
There's, like,
six more people left in there.
67
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,428
Holy shit! He's using
the claw-end of the hammers now!
68
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,496
And lead us not
into temptation...
69
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,832
Run! You got to get
out of there!
...but deliver from evil --
70
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:48,336
for thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory
71
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,438
forever and ever.
72
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,340
Amen.
73
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,277
Claude: What's he spraying?
Is that acid?
74
00:02:56,277 --> 00:03:00,614
Dr. Nickgibbion: Holy water --
Hammerman is Episcoplalian.
75
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,882
Oh, my God,
he's coming this way.
76
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,284
He's coming this way!
77
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,952
There, there.
78
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,921
He is in a better place.
Praise Jesus.
79
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,858
Very dignified ceremony,
Hammerman.
80
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,926
Now, you go evade
the cops.
81
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,396
I'll see you
back at the office, okay?
82
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,865
Dr. Nickgibbion: Go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go, go!
83
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,634
Dr. Nickgibbion:
Yeah, Hammerman murders,
so it's not a suicide.
84
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:23,304
They can go the Heaven,
their suffering is over --
85
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,572
Everybody wins.
86
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,707
Satan wants you to get back
to the assisted suicides.
87
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,975
I mean, what was so bad
88
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,810
about the injections
with drain cleaner?
89
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,646
Hammerman can't work
a hypodermic.
90
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,283
Have you seen
his hammer hands?
91
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,263
Hi.
92
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,333
I like your hat.
93
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,502
Thank you.
94
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,170
Who are you, sir?
Dude
95
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,106
Gary: Yeah, you,
leather jacket,
96
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,342
time for you
to see the doctor.
97
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,643
You don't look good, man.
98
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,513
Nice tubes.
Man: Yeah,
they keep me alive.
99
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,180
Right this way.
100
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,651
Unh!
101
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,686
Ooh! I'm sorry!
All right, get up.
102
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,254
You're gonna be fine,
all right?
103
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,689
You're gonna be fine.
You're gonna be fine.
104
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,960
Sorry, buddy.
105
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,665
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh!
106
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,534
I'm so sorry. I should be
more careful with needles.
107
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,870
I'm so clumsy.
It's fine.
108
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,673
Uh, nice to meet you.
I'm Gary.
109
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,542
Hi. I'm Jenny.
110
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,310
Man: He stole my nose tube!
111
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:43,551
Sorry, just not feeling
very good today.
Ohh.
112
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,819
Guess we're a couple
of cancer twins.
113
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,321
[ Gasping,
pounding floor ]
114
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,857
I'm just glad that they found
a way to end our suffering.
115
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,058
And it's not a sin.
116
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,627
So, yay!
117
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,230
You didn't read page seven.
Hm?
118
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,500
"Death by Episcopalian
Hammer Robot"?
119
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,535
It just starts
snapping your bones
120
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,904
and mashing your brains
and just going,
121
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:07,341
[ Imitates
hammers thudding ]
122
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,976
Dr. Nickgibbion:
I gave him free will,
123
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,679
and he's chosen
to become obsessed with me.
124
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,914
Did you happen to give him
an "off" switch?
125
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:18,251
Why don't you and I go to bed
and talk about it, huh?
126
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:21,722
Yeah? Does my boldness
unnerve you?
127
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,323
Um, honestly, it does.
128
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,594
Hammerman is very jealous.
We mustn't be seen together.
129
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,095
Huh?
130
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,931
-Hammerman!
-You promised me you would
131
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,265
make me more human,
132
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,267
and you programmed me
to love you,
133
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,437
but you gave me hammers
for hands.
134
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,105
Not in front of the guest.
No, no.
135
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,941
You have not touched
my rubber vagina in months.
136
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,444
Why don't you go prepare us
our dinner, huh?
137
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,612
Yeah?
138
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,047
He loves to beat the veal
with his hammer hands.
139
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,349
Go, go.
-Can I ask why you gave
140
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,719
a hammer man a vagina?
141
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,086
Well, it's in the ass.
142
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,788
The vagina is in the butt?
143
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,790
Yeah.
144
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,459
Gary, should I do this?
145
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,428
If I've learned anything
146
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,295
from my time in Iraq,
it's that life is short.
147
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,065
You ever see that movie,
"The Bucket List"?
148
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,968
I have always wanted
to go camping
149
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,470
and then watch a sunrise.
150
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,804
No, not that.
151
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,372
No, we should do the bucket list
from "The Bucket List."
152
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,041
You know what I mean?
when they're driving
153
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,242
the motorcycles down
the Great Wall of China?
Oh!
154
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,610
Like, Jack Nicholson had
that scene
155
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,245
where he reconnects
with his daughter?
156
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,379
T-That would be fun.
That's fun.
157
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,048
You know what?
You're right.
158
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,751
We only get one go-around
at this life.
159
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:27,254
We should grab it
by the horns.
Yeah...
160
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,490
Gary: ...and leave good-looking
corpses along the way.
161
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,991
Oh, yeah, is this hot?
-Oh, i-it's --
162
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,494
-So -- Unh! Unh!
-Oh!
163
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,496
Gary, what the hell
are you doing?
164
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,165
Jenny and
I are taking life by
the horns, Claude.
165
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,601
So, you're just gonna ignore
what Satan told us to do?
166
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,169
No, no, Satan wants souls,
167
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:45,172
and I'm gonna get him
a soul, Claude.
168
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,174
Jenny: I was really hoping
that we would
169
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,510
swim with the dolphins
today,
170
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,513
but it doesn't look like
that's going to happen.
Grab a spoon, come on.
171
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,514
Let's be gluttonous.
172
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,282
And then, we can call
your parents up
173
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,617
and tell them
to go themselves.
174
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,686
Yeah, we'll "disrespect
thy mother and father."
175
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,253
What are you do--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
176
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,190
That's not --
177
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:06,359
-Gary, you know I'm a Baptist.
178
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:09,463
I-I don't want to do
anything on this list.
179
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,032
You're right.
What am I doing?
180
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,434
I'm being selfish.
W
181
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,136
I have always wanted
182
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,539
to get an old-timey mustache
on my finger --
183
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,642
you know, so in photos I can
be like, "'Ello, guvna" --
184
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,211
Let's do that.
...and then maybe go
to a butterfly farm.
185
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,046
-Oh! We could go ride
186
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,849
a roller coaster,
like, five times in a row.
187
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,217
I don't know.
-What if, instead,
188
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,453
you handle cookware
while menstruating?
189
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,660
We need to figure out
190
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,461
how to stop your robot
from murdering.
191
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:45,398
That's his whole identity.
Okay, listen --
192
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,568
I'm already planning
to break up with him.
I --
193
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:51,238
If he loses his job, too,
he's gonna have nothing left.
194
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,674
Just tell me
how to shut him off.
195
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,577
His off-switch is
under his left armpit.
196
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,845
Yeah, just, uh, there.
197
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,680
Whoo! Tickle!
Tickle!
198
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,481
What are you -- Stop it!
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
199
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,050
Stop!
-I gotcha.
200
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,687
Tickle! Tickle!
Look, stop.
201
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,088
Aah!
202
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,490
I cooked the cutlets
just how you like,
203
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,860
but I suppose you two
are more interested
204
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:16,864
in suckling each others'
fleshy genitalia.
205
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,066
Hammerman, it's not like that.
It's not what you think.
206
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,702
We wanted
to bring you in on this.
207
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,905
Who's up for a threesome?
Show of hands.
208
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,239
Raise your hands high
209
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,276
if you want to have sex
with me and the doctor.
210
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,444
You...
211
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,781
Do I...
212
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,349
turn you on, Hammerman?
213
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,786
Or do I turn you...off!
214
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:39,953
Owww!
215
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,188
No, st-o-o-op!
216
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,590
-You home-wrecking bitch.
-No!
217
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,692
You stop that now!
Claude:
218
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:45,859
Owww!
219
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,229
I hope you have
a great life together.
220
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,733
Where are you going?
221
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,568
No, no, not the wall!
222
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:55,736
Not the wall!
223
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:58,639
Jenny: There it is.
224
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,643
We've done so much
over the past two days, Gary.
225
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:07,414
I've grown
really close to you...
226
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,617
guvna!
227
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,218
Ditto, Jenny.
228
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:14,121
-Ditto.
229
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,592
You brought a goat
all the way up here?
230
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,727
Uh, yeah.
231
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:23,130
I love fresh goats' milk
straight from the teat.
232
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,065
And I love milking it.
You should try it.
233
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,767
I'm gonna guide your hand
so you can milk him.
234
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:27,901
Oh, "him"?
235
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,469
-I'm sorry. It's a her.
-Oh.
236
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,071
It's just big
for a lady.
237
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,305
-Oh, oh, okay. Um...
-All right.
238
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,307
Ooh, uh,
this feels weird.
239
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,843
Why hasn't any milk
come out yet?
240
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,345
It sometimes takes
up to 45 minutes or so.
Oh. Oh.
241
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,314
You just got to --
You can switch hands.
Okay, yeah, my hand is
gonna get pretty tired.
242
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,783
Kiss me while you're
milking the goat.
243
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,853
Oh yeah,
just keep milking it.
244
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:49,857
I didn't think anyone would
ever love me looking like this.
245
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,259
I didn't think anyone could
love me looking like this.
246
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,863
Oh, no! Demon!
247
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,698
-No, no, no, no, no!
-Oh, good Lord! Ohh!
248
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,299
I'm still hot.
I'm still hot, see?
249
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,634
It's just a hallucination
brought on
250
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,370
by your brain cancer
or some dumb shit.
251
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,372
Actually, it's ovarian.
252
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,375
Is there something
you need to tell me, Gary?
253
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,210
Aah!
Ohh!
What are you doing?
254
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,012
My boyfriend
was cheating on me,
255
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:15,182
so I am trying
to lose myself in my work.
256
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,218
Jenny, don't you die on me!
You touch this goat penis first!
257
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,387
I am worthless.
No one loves me.
258
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,389
Death take me.
259
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,225
Gary: I was up there
working, Claude.
260
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,361
I wasn't trying
to break off a piece
inside Dr. Nickgibbion.
261
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,730
At least I don't get off
262
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,832
on watching my girlfriend
jerk off a goat.
263
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,234
I was trying to get her
to commit sodomy
264
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,469
so that she could be
down here with me.
265
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,906
Why didn't you just have her
give you a blow job?
266
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,741
"Blow job"?
267
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,043
Since when
is blow jobs a sin?
268
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,078
Even if you're married?
269
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,815
-Big time.
-That sucks!
270
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,850
So, tricking
a devout Christian girl
271
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,252
into touching a goat's dick
is not a sin,
272
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,922
but, "You shall not
print or tattoo
273
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,523
any marks upon you,"
274
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,524
"guvna."
275
00:10:57,524 --> 00:11:01,061
-Coming up Gary!
276
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,830
I'm gonna go see
about a girl.
277
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,197
Jenny?
278
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,067
Jenny?
279
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,736
Jenny?
280
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:09,903
Jenny?
281
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,339
'Ello, governer.
282
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,674
Robots don't have souls!
20703
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