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(Ryan) So, what do you want to do today?
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Um. I think I'm gonna get some work done. Do you mind?
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No, I'll get some work done, too.
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(Sound of a baby crying in another room)
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Are you seriously pretending to be asleep right now?
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(Dave) What?
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Get up! It's your turn.
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I got up at three.
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I got up at five.
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I went to bed at one.
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You were wasting time online.
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I was writing!
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Hey, hon.
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Hey. What're you doing today?
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Working. I'm about to head over to Trey's.
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You have to be back by, like, 5:30.
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I will be.
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'kay.
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Don't you and Trey ever get sick of each other?
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Lisa, he's my brother.
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I know, I just miss spending Saturdays with you.
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We literally have three scripts due this week, so...
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What're you doing here?
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Working out.
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Are those three pounds?
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Yeah.
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Can I feel it?
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This isn't gonna do anything.
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You might as well be standing here, with no weights, just moving your arms back and forth.
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Can't believe they sell these things.
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Stop it.
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You can't--no--
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It's for toning. I don't like to sweat.
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I love you.
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Don't be late!
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I won't!
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We haven't had sex in a while.
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It's bullshit!
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(She laughs) Well, we could do something about it right now.
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Bree. I'm never gonna say no.
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Why am I the only one who ever starts the dishwasher?
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You didn't start the dishwasher!
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(Dave, offscreen) What?!
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Nothing.
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Here, baby. Gonna sit right there.
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Mm-hm.
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What's that?
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What?
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Nice 30-minute shower.
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It was 16 minutes. I timed it.
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How is it that I can get myself and the kids ready in the same amount of time it takes you to get yourself ready?
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Well, remember how we read that men's brains aren't wired for multi-tasking?
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Well, how about finishing a single task? Like, you never start the dishwasher.
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I start the dishwasher all the time.
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You think if you do something once every three weeks, you do it regularly.
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Well, once every three weeks IS regularly.
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Oh my ga. I want to kill you right now!
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(Josh) I'm anxious about tonight.
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Why? It's gonna be fun.
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It's gonna be awkward as hell. You shouldn't have set it up.
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You just, you have to admit, you like to stir the pot.
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It was Ginger's suggestion. And Chris was fine with it.
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I'll bet. Is he bringing that girl? The one that he cheated with?
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No. No. They're each coming alone. They agreed.
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Poor Ginger. I'll bet she's still a mess.
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(Michelle) I've been thinking about Ginger.
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(Dave) Poor Ginger.
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I don't think it's a good idea for her to be spending so much time in Texas.
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Last time she came back, she'd eaten so much fried food, all she could fit into was her sweatpants.
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Jesus.
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Marriage is like a business contract.
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Each party signs the contract because they're getting certain things out of the deal--
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And when Chris married Ginger, part of the deal was that she was slim and attractive.
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Okay, but you shouldn't have to worry about your spouse cheating on you--
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just because you've gained some weight over the years.
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SOME weight?
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Okay, Ginger's gotten huge. But it's hard for her 'cause she's such a good cook.
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I mean, I don't know how Chris stayed so slim all these years.
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He's self-disciplined because he's vain.
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I always knew he was going to cheat. There's no way a guy who's that good-looking is going to stay faithful.
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You sound like you would've cheated with him if you'd had the chance.
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Unh--
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Whatever. He was crazy to cheat on her.
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She's cool and she cooks, like, a four-course dinner every night.
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I mean, who cares about sex when you can eat like a king?
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(Ryan) We're not leaving until we own this town.
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Not this side, not the Valley. The other side.
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I've been thinking about Ginger.
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Ah. Poor Ginger.
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Then I started thinking about our sisters and your mother and my mother and all the women we know.
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And it's like we've seen them all act a little crazy.
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Mm.
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So, I'm developing this theory. That all women occasionally act nuts.
96
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It's just a question of how nuts--like, where are they on the continuum.
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Yeah, well, that's what I like about women. I think it's cool how they can be unpredictable.
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It's holding us back. You know, it makes men uncomfortable because they're only used to experiencing one emotion.
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Or maybe several. But you know it all funnels down to the same one--anger.
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And then they snap and kill their whole family.
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So, all men are angry?
102
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Well, what blanket statement can we make about men?
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It's what Thoreau said. Most are leading lives of quiet desperation.
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You know, they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash
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And then they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash...
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And the whole time? They're daydreaming.
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About being big and important and powerful and screwing Scarlett Johansson. Or whoever.
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I'll buy that.
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You want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson?
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No, I meant I buy your theory, overall.
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(Bree) You don't want to have sex with her?
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I don't find her attractive.
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Right!
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Believe it or not, when I fantasize about having sex, it's with you.
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Always?
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You never imagine yourself having sex with anyone but me?
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And you never imagine yourself having sex with anybody but me?
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I wish neither one of us were ever attracted to anyone else.
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It IS like that. Mostly. Seriously.
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It's like everything is built on a foundation of little white lies. We're living in a house of cards.
121
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Who needs four cars?!
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I know. I guess they haven't heard about the fossil fuel situation.
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Michelle. We drive an SUV and a station wagon.
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Yeah, but our next cars are going to be hybrids.
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Oh, well, we can start judging people once we get them.
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'kay.
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(Dave) You should find out if he's hiring.
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(Michelle) Ugh.
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(Dave) You haven't staffed in three seasons.
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(Michelle) He's a hack. And his brother's a clown.
131
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A hack and a clown...
132
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You know that one of their episodes is up for an Emmy?
133
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Really?
134
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I can guarantee they didn't write it though. In TV, everybody on staff contributes to every episode.
135
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Well. This hack is 30 years old and owns a house that costs--
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$2.5.
137
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Oh my god.
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Hi!
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Heeeey!!!
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(Music plays)
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They never hear us because this house is so big.
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Lisa?
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Josh?
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Art. I guess they're collecting now.
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That fucker. He's just over here printing money.
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(Bree) Hello?
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(Ryan) Hello?
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Hi!
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Hi! How are you?
150
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Really good! How are you guys?
151
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Good to see you!
152
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Glad you could make it finally.
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We can stay out late, my mom's babysitting for us, thank you.
154
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Yes!
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I am going to drink my ass off.
156
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No, it's your turn to get up with Emma and Chloe tomorrow.
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Wow. I bet you guys can't wait to have kids, right?
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(Josh laughs)
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No, you have to do it. Seriously, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
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Actually, we're trying to get pregnant, so...
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Yeah, I could be good without kids, but... whatever.
162
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What're you talking about? You totally thought that baby was so cute at the barbecue.
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All babies are cute. That's their thing. But is that any reason to make an irreversible decision?
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Well, if you didn't want to have kids, we shouldn't have gotten married.
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Nice.
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What? I'm just saying.
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We're gonna tackle the big issues tonight!
168
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(Ryan) So, where's Ginger and Chris?
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(Lisa) I told them not to come until 7:30, so that we could have some time to discuss the situation.
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(Josh) The puppet master.
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(Lisa) Stop calling me that.
172
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Wow. That picture is amazing.
173
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They got another TV?
174
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Check it out.
175
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Sloppy already.
176
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So. Chris and Ginger are coming together?
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No. Separately.
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What was she doing in Texas?
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I have no idea because she's not on Facebook.
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People who aren't on Facebook think they're so cool.
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No offense, Bree.
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But really it's just a huge pain in the ass for anybody who loves them--
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because how are we supposed to keep in touch?
184
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Yeah. And she never checks her email, okay?
185
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She has this whole thing about how email exists as a convenience to us--
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and we're not supposed to let it run our lives.
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And she says we have to consciously decide how much time we're gonna give it.
188
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See? This is why I love her. Who else says stuff like that?
189
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I don't have time to consciously decide to do anything. What am I gonna do, call her?
190
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I don't have time to call everybody I want to keep in touch with. I have children.
191
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Well, she has Oliver.
192
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Yeah, but he's 10. And there's a huge difference between one and two.
193
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When you have your first, you think it's so hard, but when you have two, it's a whole other story.
194
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You're complaining.
195
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I'm not complaining, I'm just--
196
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You ARE complaining.
197
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Do you have Pepcid, or something for stomachs?
198
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What's the matter?
199
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I don't know. I have social anxiety or something?
200
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Why? It's just us.
201
00:10:45,657 --> 00:10:47,893
And George and Martha.
202
00:10:48,393 --> 00:10:50,496
Who's George and Martha?
203
00:10:50,556 --> 00:10:53,770
Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
204
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Oh, is that a good movie?
205
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Is what good?
206
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Uh, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?".
207
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I love that movie.
208
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I've never seen it.
209
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What's that noise?
210
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Oh! Someone must be at the front door.
211
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Shoot, it's 7:30 already?
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(whispers) Josh has never seen "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?".
213
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Hello!
214
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Hey--
215
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Oh my gosh!
216
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You look amazing!
217
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Oh--thank you! I still have a couple more pounds to go, but I'm getting there.
218
00:11:35,092 --> 00:11:37,736
No, you look awesome!
219
00:11:38,316 --> 00:11:40,409
Oh, um, Lisa, this is Brad.
220
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,338
Hi.
221
00:11:41,338 --> 00:11:42,375
Hi.
222
00:11:42,465 --> 00:11:44,179
You're cute!
223
00:11:44,239 --> 00:11:46,126
He's an actor.
224
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Neat.
225
00:11:48,853 --> 00:11:50,740
Uh, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
226
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Sure, yeah.
227
00:11:53,185 --> 00:11:54,941
So...
228
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Uh, do you mind if I go, too? We came from Malibu and you practically have to stop for snacks, you know?
229
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,465
Sure. Just use the powder room, over there--
230
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That's okay, I'll just use this one.
231
00:12:10,237 --> 00:12:12,191
Okay.
232
00:12:14,741 --> 00:12:15,884
Hey!
233
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Uh--
234
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Can we have sex?
235
00:12:18,281 --> 00:12:19,398
Brad!
236
00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:21,203
I wanna go down on you.
237
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:22,512
Oh my ga.
238
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(Ryan) So, last time we talked, you and Trey were trying to write a movie together.
239
00:12:26,649 --> 00:12:31,752
(Dave) It's not easy, is it? I always tell you TV guys features aren't just longer, they're a whole different animal.
240
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,905
It's hard to sustain a story over a hundred pages.
241
00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:36,438
It's done, man. We sold it last week.
242
00:12:36,678 --> 00:12:40,414
Really? Who'd you guys sell it to?
243
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,836
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.
244
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That's great. That's fantastic.
245
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:49,081
Yeah, those guys are really funny.
246
00:12:49,111 --> 00:12:51,376
Yeah. They're doing alright.
247
00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:55,879
You're a smartass. How much? If you don't mind me asking?
248
00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:58,979
Nah, it's fine, it was in the trades. 800.
249
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$800,000?
250
00:13:02,518 --> 00:13:03,696
No, 800 dollars.
251
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,650
(they laugh)
252
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:06,984
Ah, man.
253
00:13:08,474 --> 00:13:10,994
What's wrong? You look freaked out.
254
00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:12,417
Ginger lost weight.
255
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,635
Really?!
256
00:13:13,635 --> 00:13:21,100
Yeah. And she brought a guy. And she went to the bathroom, and this kid--he's, like, 20--he asked if he could go, too.
257
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,980
And they're in the bathroom together, right now.
258
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:25,265
They're having sex?
259
00:13:25,265 --> 00:13:26,126
I don't know.
260
00:13:26,126 --> 00:13:27,264
In the powder room?
261
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,358
Yeah.
262
00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:31,277
They better not get anything on the wallpaper, it's vintage.
263
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:36,842
See that? Rich people have problems, too. They have to worry about guests ejaculating on their wallpaper.
264
00:13:38,826 --> 00:13:41,725
If I had said that, you would've told me I was disgusting.
265
00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:44,948
It was funny. Ryan is funny.
266
00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:46,534
I'm a comedy writer!
267
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,911
You're funny, Dave. It's just that Ryan is used to, you know--
268
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:52,758
getting up in front of a hundred people and making them laugh their asses off.
269
00:13:52,928 --> 00:13:55,336
I can't believe you.
270
00:13:55,506 --> 00:13:57,155
Oh my god!
271
00:13:57,405 --> 00:13:59,030
Hi!
272
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,450
You look awesome!
273
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:01,763
Oh--thank you!
274
00:14:01,763 --> 00:14:03,449
How did you lose the weight?
275
00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:06,380
I just was so busy working.
276
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,887
How are you?
277
00:14:07,887 --> 00:14:08,427
Josh.
278
00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:09,751
I was catering a movie.
279
00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:10,474
In Austin?
280
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:14,109
Yeah. That's how I met Brad. He was part of the cast.
281
00:14:14,109 --> 00:14:15,583
How's Oliver?
282
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,383
He's great. He's with his cousins. I go back on Monday.
283
00:14:19,954 --> 00:14:21,747
What's that noise?
284
00:14:21,997 --> 00:14:24,264
Oh! Someone must be at the front door.
285
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,029
That must be Chris.
286
00:14:26,269 --> 00:14:28,294
(Lisa) Has he seen you yet?
287
00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:30,361
No.
288
00:14:30,711 --> 00:14:32,699
He's going to shit a brick.
289
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:37,697
Hi!
290
00:14:37,697 --> 00:14:38,786
Hi!
291
00:14:38,786 --> 00:14:40,076
How are you?
292
00:14:40,076 --> 00:14:41,239
Good. Good.
293
00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:43,330
Thank you.
294
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,010
We haven't seen you in since--
295
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,603
Forever. I know.
296
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,986
Ahh... Ginger came, right?
297
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,241
Yeah, she's here.
298
00:14:58,271 --> 00:14:59,124
Hey, guys.
299
00:14:59,124 --> 00:15:00,237
What's up?
300
00:15:00,237 --> 00:15:01,510
(Ryan) How're you doing?
301
00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:03,079
You look beautiful.
302
00:15:03,079 --> 00:15:04,597
Thank you.
303
00:15:04,687 --> 00:15:06,454
Ah, Chris. Nice to meet you.
304
00:15:06,494 --> 00:15:08,364
You, too. Brad.
305
00:15:08,364 --> 00:15:11,105
Ah. How do you know Josh and Lisa?
306
00:15:11,105 --> 00:15:13,888
I just met them. I'm here with Ginger.
307
00:15:14,368 --> 00:15:15,854
Oh.
308
00:15:16,894 --> 00:15:19,260
I thought we weren't bringing anyone?
309
00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:21,326
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
310
00:15:25,806 --> 00:15:28,592
You are wearing that outfit that I love.
311
00:15:28,592 --> 00:15:30,159
Yeah... (laughs)
312
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,130
Who needs a drink?
313
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:35,167
(Everyone) I do.
314
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:42,284
This silverware has a really nice weight to it.
315
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:45,871
I knew you'd notice. You always appreciate nice things.
316
00:15:45,871 --> 00:15:47,771
Yeah, I noticed it, too, I was thinking about stealing some.
317
00:15:47,771 --> 00:15:48,941
(the others laugh)
318
00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:51,602
Seriously, one spoon costs $200.
319
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:55,027
I wanna hear some of your new material. Can we, after dinner?
320
00:15:55,027 --> 00:15:56,427
No. C'mon.
321
00:15:56,427 --> 00:15:58,468
(Michelle) For us. C'mon.
322
00:15:58,468 --> 00:16:04,529
Alright, I got some. Truthfully, I've been traveling so much that I really haven't had time to write.
323
00:16:04,709 --> 00:16:07,111
Gotta make time. No excuses.
324
00:16:07,951 --> 00:16:10,865
Right. No, I wrote today though, so...
325
00:16:10,945 --> 00:16:12,265
So did I.
326
00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:14,748
Well, you screwed around on the Internet.
327
00:16:14,838 --> 00:16:16,296
I was working.
328
00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:22,014
Oh, listen, there's a service you can subscribe to that blocks your access to the Internet for up to 8 hours a day.
329
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:28,305
Is that where we're at right now? We can't be self-disciplined, we have to pay someone to enforce discipline?
330
00:16:28,305 --> 00:16:34,652
I know. It's lame. But, it only costs $7.95 a month. It's totally worth it.
331
00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:37,042
Wow. You and Trey do that?
332
00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:40,129
Ah, no. We don't have to. We're very self-motivated.
333
00:16:40,439 --> 00:16:41,519
Hm.
334
00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:43,219
That's fantastic.
335
00:16:44,059 --> 00:16:46,829
(Ginger) So, Ry, where are you performing these days?
336
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:51,897
All over. Atlanta. Dallas. Pittsburgh.
337
00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:53,439
(Michelle) Have you been going with him, Bree?
338
00:16:53,439 --> 00:16:55,812
No. I tape five shows a week, so...
339
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,554
Oh. Right.
340
00:16:57,794 --> 00:16:59,559
That many?
341
00:16:59,669 --> 00:17:02,449
Have you watched her show? Oh, it's fantastic.
342
00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:04,449
I keep forgetting, I'm sorry.
343
00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:06,159
I don't have time for that.
344
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,592
(Lisa) Send me the link again.
345
00:17:07,592 --> 00:17:13,460
I can't believe this. My own friends. You know, I have strangers writing me and telling me they love it.
346
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:16,888
This one guy told me it restored his faith in humanity.
347
00:17:16,888 --> 00:17:19,226
But it's opera, right?
348
00:17:19,226 --> 00:17:20,613
(Josh) That's a tough sell.
349
00:17:20,613 --> 00:17:21,997
I don't have time to watch webisodes.
350
00:17:22,097 --> 00:17:24,533
They're only 2 minutes long.
351
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:28,597
You know, one day Ryan and I are going to leave L.A. and then you'll all be sorry.
352
00:17:28,597 --> 00:17:32,901
'Cause you'll just be talking about how you saw Jim Carrey at the dog park.
353
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:36,726
(Josh) Who saw Jim Carrey at the dog park? Did you, did you see him, for real?
354
00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:38,003
(Bree) I just made that up.
355
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:38,731
(Josh) Oh.
356
00:17:38,731 --> 00:17:42,189
I'm just saying that your whole lives will be one big Howard Stern conversation.
357
00:17:42,189 --> 00:17:43,787
I love Howard Stern.
358
00:17:43,787 --> 00:17:44,817
Love him.
359
00:17:44,817 --> 00:17:46,892
That's depressing.
360
00:17:47,102 --> 00:17:49,055
This chicken is very good.
361
00:17:49,055 --> 00:17:53,022
Oh, yeah. Lisa's a good little orderer.
362
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:58,972
Um...
363
00:17:59,342 --> 00:18:02,992
Did I tell you guys that I'm going to London, with Josh and Trey?
364
00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:05,303
I thought you weren't going.
365
00:18:05,443 --> 00:18:10,716
We did a spreadsheet on how much she'd spend in London and how much she'd spend here--
366
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:14,879
and we think she'd spend more here. Because there would be no controls.
367
00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:18,144
Yeah, because women are stupid spendthrifts.
368
00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:19,899
It's just that you want more.
369
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:23,945
They don't want more, they want everything. They want to go to all the new restaurants--
370
00:18:23,945 --> 00:18:29,701
they want all the best clothes, they want to take the best vacations, they want to get all the best personal trainers--
371
00:18:29,701 --> 00:18:32,038
You don't like new restaurants?
372
00:18:32,038 --> 00:18:33,215
Well, yeah, but--
373
00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:35,584
And you don't wanna take great vacations?
374
00:18:35,584 --> 00:18:37,250
Well, yes, of course, but that's not--
375
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,498
We help you lead fuller lives.
376
00:18:38,498 --> 00:18:39,706
(Michelle) Yes.
377
00:18:39,706 --> 00:18:40,864
(Lisa) Yeah.
378
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:46,281
(Ryan) Hey. So what's your script about?
379
00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:47,670
Ah, which one?
380
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:52,618
I was talking about the spec script that you sold, but uh, how many do you have?
381
00:18:52,618 --> 00:18:56,877
Well, when that one went out, everyone went nuts and wanted meetings with us--
382
00:18:56,877 --> 00:19:02,786
So, of course, we had this backlog of ideas we wanted to pitch--
383
00:19:02,786 --> 00:19:08,072
(Josh) So, we're working on an animated film at Pixar, Spielberg wants to do a comedy--
384
00:19:08,072 --> 00:19:11,318
(Josh) So, we're writing something for him, and--
385
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:15,079
(Josh) We're working on a project we would direct ourselves.
386
00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:19,080
(Josh) Paramount would finance. Nothing huge, but they want to be in business with us
387
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,831
And, one of our TV episodes was nominated for an Emmy.
388
00:19:22,831 --> 00:19:23,790
(Ryan) Oh, that's great.
389
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,019
Congratulations.
390
00:19:25,019 --> 00:19:26,518
That's great news.
391
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:31,333
You know what? I'm going to go open one of the bottles we brought. Anybody need anything else?
392
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,388
(Ryan) I'm going to get ours, too.
393
00:19:35,138 --> 00:19:36,890
(Ryan) I wanna read that spec script he sold.
394
00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:38,750
We should ask him.
395
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:43,094
Nah, because, he'll think that we have a chip on our shoulder, that we just wanna see if it's good. I'm telling ya.
396
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:47,285
How could it be? Have you seen his show? It's so hacky.
397
00:19:47,425 --> 00:19:49,740
Eight hundred thousand dollars.
398
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:53,760
It's 'cause he's self-confident. Confidence is everything in this town.
399
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,371
I'm self-confident, hanh?
400
00:19:56,671 --> 00:19:59,442
I got a two-bedroom teardown in the Valley.
401
00:19:59,652 --> 00:20:02,755
Yeah, but Studio City's cool. It's not really the Valley.
402
00:20:02,755 --> 00:20:09,510
Don't patronize me. Alright? When we trade up, we'll move to the west side, alright?
403
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:16,925
We like the Valley, we're very middle-class. When I bought Bree the Volvo, she acted like she'd won the lottery.
404
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:20,340
Must be nice to have a wife you can please.
405
00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:22,885
She's the best.
406
00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,986
(Lisa) I have to do something about it--
407
00:20:25,986 --> 00:20:27,947
(Josh) It's humbling just to be nominated--
408
00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:29,626
(Lisa) They have sticky things--
409
00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:31,865
(Chris) Right. And it might not happen again--
410
00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:36,556
(Brad) Bree? Bree? That's an unusual name.
411
00:20:36,926 --> 00:20:38,822
Yeah, my mom had just seen "Klute."
412
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:43,129
Really? Your mom must be very interesting, to name you after a hooker.
413
00:20:43,729 --> 00:20:47,886
(Brad) I mean, um, uh, a prostitute.
414
00:20:48,826 --> 00:20:51,103
Is "Klute" good? I haven't seen that.
415
00:20:51,103 --> 00:20:54,425
(under her breath) Never seen "Klute"?!
416
00:20:54,565 --> 00:20:57,718
So, how'd you two meet?
417
00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:03,242
I was working on a film that shot in Austin.
418
00:21:03,402 --> 00:21:05,058
Crew?
419
00:21:05,468 --> 00:21:07,126
No, no, I'm an actor.
420
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:10,557
Mm. Big role? Small one?
421
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:14,283
As actors, we're taught to believe that there are no small roles.
422
00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,803
Right. So, small. What movie?
423
00:21:17,803 --> 00:21:19,590
(Brad) "Spaceman."
424
00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:21,713
Mm. I read the script.
425
00:21:21,723 --> 00:21:29,476
Well. I read the first 10 pages. It was actually so bad, I couldn't finish it.
426
00:21:31,506 --> 00:21:33,731
(Chris) How old are you?
427
00:21:33,731 --> 00:21:35,366
Twenty-six.
428
00:21:35,366 --> 00:21:36,715
That's young.
429
00:21:36,715 --> 00:21:42,362
Yeah. He knows nothing about the heartache of soft erections.
430
00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:44,744
(the others laugh)
431
00:21:44,744 --> 00:21:47,406
(Josh) Wow.
432
00:21:48,096 --> 00:21:50,898
Plus, everyone our age is married. So...
433
00:21:50,898 --> 00:21:56,680
Yeah, but not all these marriages are going to last. I mean, the divorce rate is 50%.
434
00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:00,512
(Music starts)
435
00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:08,245
My wife. Twelve years we've been together.
436
00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:14,496
Yeah. And what's great about it is--and it kinda gets me choked up a little bit--we're very supportive of each other.
437
00:22:14,496 --> 00:22:17,809
We look out for each other, try to make each other happy.
438
00:22:17,809 --> 00:22:23,512
Like, lately, she's been giving me a lot of blow jobs. Which is awesome.
439
00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:30,795
(Ryan) And it's occurred to her that maybe blow jobs are fattening, because she's been gaining a little weight.
440
00:22:31,345 --> 00:22:40,162
The other day we're lying in bed and she says to me, "Look, I'm thinking that maybe sperm has a lot of calories."
441
00:22:40,162 --> 00:22:43,090
(Ryan) So, I immediately go into problem-solving mode.
442
00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:46,458
I'm like, "Why don't you start skipping lunch?"
443
00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:48,197
That was mean.
444
00:22:48,197 --> 00:22:50,566
That's hilarious, what're you talking about?
445
00:22:50,566 --> 00:22:51,756
Funny, Ryan.
446
00:22:52,292 --> 00:22:54,721
I'm just gonna play you guys the first few notes, okay?
447
00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:56,740
(Josh) Oh, hey, hey, hey--
448
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:58,810
Thank you.
449
00:23:00,936 --> 00:23:05,578
(An opera song begins and plays for several moments while they listen)
450
00:23:34,518 --> 00:23:36,650
(Bree turns off the opera song)
451
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:39,024
Did you guys get chills?
452
00:23:39,024 --> 00:23:41,190
(they laugh)
453
00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:44,137
Are you serious?! How are you guys not affected by that song?
454
00:23:44,137 --> 00:23:45,674
It was really beautiful, Bree.
455
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:46,870
(Lisa) It was gorgeous.
456
00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:48,105
Hey, you guys wanna play poker?
457
00:23:48,105 --> 00:23:49,487
Yes!
458
00:23:49,487 --> 00:23:50,318
Yes.
459
00:23:50,318 --> 00:23:54,100
No. It's too late to start a game. It's ten o'clock, we have to stop drinking.
460
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:59,226
No. No one stop drinking. You guys have to spend the night. Everyone should stay here, tonight.
461
00:23:59,386 --> 00:24:00,772
(Josh) Really?
462
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,336
(Lisa) Yeah. What's the point of having this big house, right?
463
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:04,656
Alright.
464
00:24:04,756 --> 00:24:06,250
Call your mom.
465
00:24:06,460 --> 00:24:09,357
It's been so long since I've gotten shitfaced!
466
00:24:09,357 --> 00:24:12,944
We can play poker all night, and watch the sun rise--
467
00:24:12,944 --> 00:24:16,722
I feel alive. I'm alive, honey.
468
00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:19,403
Stop feeling alive.
469
00:24:19,403 --> 00:24:21,570
I'm alive!
470
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,069
Don't feel sorry for me.
471
00:24:25,069 --> 00:24:26,687
We don't feel sorry for you.
472
00:24:26,687 --> 00:24:28,638
We feel bad for you.
473
00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:33,728
That's funny. Because I feel bad for you.
474
00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:35,954
Why?!
475
00:24:36,318 --> 00:24:40,424
Well, neither of you seem very happy right now.
476
00:24:40,636 --> 00:24:42,224
Me and Michelle?
477
00:24:42,406 --> 00:24:45,389
Why are you singling us out?
478
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:48,608
Ryan and Bree are happy.
479
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:52,536
Well--yeah--we're happy. But--
480
00:24:52,736 --> 00:24:55,684
What makes you think Dave and I aren't happy?
481
00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:57,877
Seriously?
482
00:24:57,877 --> 00:25:02,627
Bree said earlier that you guys were like the couple in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?".
483
00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:05,217
I mean, earlier, my stomach hurt, so I was--
484
00:25:05,217 --> 00:25:06,484
Great, so everybody thinks we're a mess.
485
00:25:06,484 --> 00:25:08,125
Oh, we don't think you're a mess--
486
00:25:08,125 --> 00:25:11,469
Look, I get it. You've got young kids. It's hard.
487
00:25:11,619 --> 00:25:14,372
Josh and I are trying to get pregnant.
488
00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:16,972
Of course you are.
489
00:25:17,332 --> 00:25:19,323
What does that mean?
490
00:25:19,343 --> 00:25:23,692
I just feel like we're all making the same mistakes our parents made.
491
00:25:23,762 --> 00:25:27,911
You're on shaky ground so you want to throw kids into the mix?
492
00:25:27,911 --> 00:25:31,230
You think I'm on shaky ground?
493
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:39,806
You know how Josh acts like he's being funny because he's smiling or making some sort of joke but--
494
00:25:39,806 --> 00:25:43,892
really he's just criticizing you?
495
00:25:44,052 --> 00:25:45,608
Yeah.
496
00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:51,077
It seems like he doesn't respect you.
497
00:25:51,077 --> 00:25:54,096
(Michelle mouths, "What the--?" to Bree)
498
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:58,875
Well... he has really high expectations of everyone, himself included.
499
00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:03,602
So, he's critical. But I think that he respects me.
500
00:26:03,602 --> 00:26:06,529
I know he respects me.
501
00:26:12,109 --> 00:26:15,246
That asshole. He doesn't respect me!
502
00:26:15,516 --> 00:26:17,524
Well, maybe he does, I don't know?
503
00:26:17,524 --> 00:26:20,746
No! No, he doesn't, I know he doesn't.
504
00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:24,803
Well, why don't you talk to him about it? If you call him on it, he's gonna have to change.
505
00:26:24,803 --> 00:26:26,632
That's optimistic.
506
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:33,608
I know you're into positive thinking and the power of intention and all that shit, but sometimes it's just not realistic.
507
00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:52,510
(Ginger) What are you doing?
508
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:55,114
I'm gonna do a spreadsheet, to see if I can afford to leave him.
509
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:57,459
Nooo! Wait, that was just my opinion.
510
00:26:57,459 --> 00:27:01,754
Hey, I could be totally wrong. Everybody knows I'm a little screwed up right now.
511
00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:05,580
When we're done with her, let's do me. I think I can get some money from my parents.
512
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:07,622
You don't want to get a divorce.
513
00:27:07,622 --> 00:27:09,728
Yeah, you do not want to get a divorce.
514
00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:12,916
Dave and I are really having problems right now.
515
00:27:12,916 --> 00:27:16,433
Listen, I get it, okay? You love your kids--
516
00:27:16,433 --> 00:27:18,562
They're the best thing that ever happened to me.
517
00:27:18,562 --> 00:27:22,177
But they're at an age where they require constant attention.
518
00:27:22,177 --> 00:27:26,702
And it doesn't matter how much you love them, there's a part of you that is angry.
519
00:27:26,702 --> 00:27:29,778
(Ginger) Because you don't have a life anymore.
520
00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:34,378
(Ginger) I know. So you start taking it out on the person closest to you--your spouse.
521
00:27:34,378 --> 00:27:37,832
You know, I read this book about how, in some cultures--
522
00:27:37,832 --> 00:27:42,926
couples don't even pretend they can stay together for the first 5 years of the child's life.
523
00:27:42,926 --> 00:27:46,380
(Bree) So, the man--he leaves the home and he goes and sleeps somewhere else--
524
00:27:46,380 --> 00:27:50,889
and he just comes home to, you know, make repairs to the thatched hut and give the wife money.
525
00:27:50,889 --> 00:27:56,659
And the woman--she gives all her attention to the child, and her mother and sisters and aunts help her raise it.
526
00:27:57,109 --> 00:28:00,667
That's pretty smart. Most American women, though,
527
00:28:00,667 --> 00:28:05,505
would not be okay with their husband sleeping with another woman while we have to deal with the kids.
528
00:28:05,505 --> 00:28:10,094
Dave can be really annoying. He does all these little things.
529
00:28:10,094 --> 00:28:13,135
Everybody does all these little things.
530
00:28:13,755 --> 00:28:17,849
Look. I know he's a good person. And I love him and I wish him well.
531
00:28:17,929 --> 00:28:23,765
But what would be perfect is if we were really rich and could have two houses--
532
00:28:23,765 --> 00:28:27,011
so we could live near each other but not together.
533
00:28:27,011 --> 00:28:30,707
Which would lead to divorce. Because why would you be married to someone if you can live without them?
534
00:28:30,707 --> 00:28:36,893
Or, yeah, we'd get divorced. But we'd stay friends, and I'd hire two nannies, so I could have round-the-clock help.
535
00:28:36,893 --> 00:28:42,088
Which would lead to you never seeing your kids. So you'd feel guilty and you would indulge them--
536
00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:46,453
and then they would just be more and more demanding and you'd all be miserable.
537
00:28:46,723 --> 00:28:49,348
I feel really overwhelmed.
538
00:28:51,218 --> 00:28:52,704
(Chris) So, is this about the Emmy thing you were talking about?
539
00:28:52,704 --> 00:28:55,408
(Josh) This guy, he's out of control.
540
00:28:55,408 --> 00:28:56,397
He helped you with that?
541
00:28:56,397 --> 00:28:58,863
(Josh) Yeah, he helped me. Makes all this money--
542
00:28:58,863 --> 00:29:01,731
When he signed the deal with ABC, they backed the truck up.
543
00:29:01,731 --> 00:29:07,784
Yeah, he is loaded. And now everyone's kissing his ass. Actresses who audition for his show--
544
00:29:07,794 --> 00:29:13,867
and there he is, stuck with his college sweetheart, whom he thought was the best he was ever going to do.
545
00:29:13,867 --> 00:29:15,121
She's cute.
546
00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:19,494
Yeah, but she's not beautiful. I mean, he could have his pick now.
547
00:29:19,754 --> 00:29:23,676
Yeah, but do you really wanna be with someone who's only with you because you have money?
548
00:29:23,676 --> 00:29:29,517
A young guy's perspective. Probably when we're that old, we'll settle for getting a beautiful woman any way we can.
549
00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:32,361
What're you talking about? Are you planning on being single?
550
00:29:32,361 --> 00:29:34,575
Hey. It's touch-and-go at my house.
551
00:29:34,575 --> 00:29:38,593
It's great being young, huh? The women are more fun? Easier to please, I guess.
552
00:29:38,593 --> 00:29:43,222
That's what makes them not fun. Women your age, they're harder to satisfy.
553
00:29:43,222 --> 00:29:45,058
I guess I like the challenge.
554
00:29:46,494 --> 00:29:48,772
(the others laugh, cynical)
555
00:29:48,942 --> 00:29:50,854
You just have to get through the next couple of years.
556
00:29:50,854 --> 00:29:52,646
The kids will get easier.
557
00:29:52,646 --> 00:29:57,367
And in the meantime, you have to remember why you married Dave to begin with.
558
00:29:57,367 --> 00:30:02,088
And yes--you have to make yourself have sex with him.
559
00:30:02,248 --> 00:30:06,340
No. I have nooo desire. None.
560
00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:08,528
We don't have sex either.
561
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:11,976
I just don't care about it. At all.
562
00:30:13,116 --> 00:30:17,072
Okay. Well, it will be your problem eventually.
563
00:30:17,072 --> 00:30:23,212
I mean, you can't tell a guy, "Hey, we're married, and you can never have sex with anyone else again."
564
00:30:23,212 --> 00:30:26,972
"Oh, and by the way, you can never have sex with me again."
565
00:30:26,972 --> 00:30:30,630
I mean, eventually he's going to decide that that's a bunch of bullshit
566
00:30:30,630 --> 00:30:34,048
and he's gonna find somebody else to have sex with.
567
00:30:34,048 --> 00:30:36,358
(Bree) The oppressed will rise up.
568
00:30:36,358 --> 00:30:38,294
Is that what happened with you and Chris?
569
00:30:38,294 --> 00:30:40,976
Do you think he was justified in having the affair?
570
00:30:40,976 --> 00:30:42,373
No.
571
00:30:42,703 --> 00:30:45,910
At least, I would never tell him that.
572
00:30:45,910 --> 00:30:51,828
But yeah, we didn't have sex. I just, I just didn't feel like it.
573
00:30:51,828 --> 00:30:54,115
But he's so good-looking.
574
00:30:55,985 --> 00:30:58,220
I'm just saying--
575
00:30:58,220 --> 00:31:01,233
I mean, if she didn't feel like having sex with Chris--
576
00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:04,316
how am I supposed to feel like having sex with Dave?
577
00:31:04,316 --> 00:31:05,681
(Lisa) That's so mean!
578
00:31:05,681 --> 00:31:12,425
What? It's just sometimes I look at him and he already seems middle-aged.
579
00:31:12,685 --> 00:31:17,238
Well, we almost are. It's not that far off.
580
00:31:17,238 --> 00:31:20,798
Actually, I read this book by Desmond Morris--
581
00:31:20,798 --> 00:31:24,258
that says men's waists expand as they get older--
582
00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:27,666
and their shoulders get more narrow and rounded--
583
00:31:27,666 --> 00:31:30,425
and this is all part of nature's grand plan--
584
00:31:30,425 --> 00:31:33,456
so that they will be less attractive to other women--
585
00:31:33,456 --> 00:31:36,377
so that they will stay with their wives and help raise the children.
586
00:31:36,677 --> 00:31:39,449
How do you find time to read all this shit?
587
00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:41,662
Dave is awesome.
588
00:31:41,662 --> 00:31:43,514
I find him very attractive.
589
00:31:43,514 --> 00:31:46,078
I love Dave. He's--he's great.
590
00:31:46,078 --> 00:31:47,944
He would freak if he heard this.
591
00:31:47,944 --> 00:31:49,309
You should tell him.
592
00:31:49,309 --> 00:31:51,870
Yeah, why don't you, if it'd give him a boost?
593
00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:53,173
No.
594
00:31:53,173 --> 00:31:54,596
(Bree) Why?
595
00:31:54,636 --> 00:31:58,792
Because. I don't want to give him power.
596
00:31:58,792 --> 00:32:00,529
(Lisa) Michelle! (Ginger) Ohh!
597
00:32:00,529 --> 00:32:01,806
(Michelle) What?
598
00:32:01,806 --> 00:32:03,314
Okay, that's bitchy.
599
00:32:03,404 --> 00:32:06,572
I guess I'm in a bad place right now.
600
00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:08,658
Yeah.
601
00:32:08,658 --> 00:32:10,364
Obviously I am, too.
602
00:32:10,364 --> 00:32:15,552
Why else would I be hanging out with a 26-year-old actor in Malibu?
603
00:32:15,552 --> 00:32:17,518
I love Malibu.
604
00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:20,223
Tell us about the sex. With the actor.
605
00:32:20,223 --> 00:32:23,291
No, you do not get to ask questions about sex.
606
00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:24,546
(Bree) Why not?
607
00:32:24,546 --> 00:32:26,885
Because you're not willing to reveal anything about yourself.
608
00:32:26,885 --> 00:32:29,735
I will tell you anything you want to know about my sex life.
609
00:32:29,735 --> 00:32:33,830
Yeah. You and Ryan have good sex. We know.
610
00:32:33,830 --> 00:32:36,830
I'm saying you won't talk about other guys, ever.
611
00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:39,963
Like, you won't even admit it if somebody else is hot.
612
00:32:39,963 --> 00:32:42,026
It's as if that's cheating on Ryan.
613
00:32:42,026 --> 00:32:43,001
I know it's not cheating.
614
00:32:43,001 --> 00:32:44,303
(Michelle) Of course it's not!
615
00:32:44,303 --> 00:32:46,606
But, it's a little bit of a betrayal.
616
00:32:46,646 --> 00:32:49,084
How is it a betrayal?!
617
00:32:49,124 --> 00:32:53,006
Obviously, George Clooney was hot in "The American."
618
00:32:53,006 --> 00:32:58,018
Okay? And it probably wouldn't be unpleasant to have sex with him.
619
00:32:58,018 --> 00:33:00,626
Everybody knows that, including Ryan.
620
00:33:00,626 --> 00:33:04,844
So, I just don't think it's a big deal to acknowledge what everybody else knows to be true.
621
00:33:04,844 --> 00:33:06,674
Was that good, "The American"? We didn't see that one.
622
00:33:06,674 --> 00:33:09,581
How does Josh write movies when he's never seen one?
623
00:33:09,581 --> 00:33:12,010
We see movies all the time.
624
00:33:12,010 --> 00:33:14,790
But you just studiously avoid the good ones?
625
00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:19,477
Just because we don't see the kind of movies you see--you're a snob, Bree.
626
00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:22,490
Am I? Or are you people just disappointing?
627
00:33:22,490 --> 00:33:23,868
Jon Stewart.
628
00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:25,060
He's great.
629
00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:27,326
(Michelle) Yeah, I know he's great but do you ever think it'd be fun to have sex with him?
630
00:33:27,326 --> 00:33:29,166
Michelle.
631
00:33:29,166 --> 00:33:30,217
Jason Bateman!
632
00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:33,345
No, stop, I'm going to break her.
633
00:33:34,785 --> 00:33:41,311
(Michelle) Matt Damon. In "The Bourne Identity." When he's washing Franke Potente's hair.
634
00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:43,082
She's cute!
635
00:33:44,162 --> 00:33:49,670
He can kill anyone with his bare hands. But he's a good person, and he barely ever speaks--
636
00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:54,688
which is so hot. And when he does, he says the perfect thing.
637
00:33:54,878 --> 00:33:57,508
He's got very good dialogue.
638
00:33:57,508 --> 00:33:59,301
Tony Gilroy wrote it.
639
00:33:59,301 --> 00:34:02,349
No, don't do that. This is not a discussion of the script, 'kay.
640
00:34:02,349 --> 00:34:06,786
I'm saying, Matt Damon in all the Bourne movies is hot as hell--
641
00:34:06,786 --> 00:34:08,763
and you know you've thought about having sex with him--
642
00:34:08,763 --> 00:34:10,951
and I demand that you admit it!
643
00:34:12,211 --> 00:34:14,033
C'mon, just admit it!
644
00:34:14,033 --> 00:34:17,155
I will happily admit that I want to have sex with other guys.
645
00:34:17,155 --> 00:34:20,867
Every person in a relationship wants to have sex with other people.
646
00:34:20,867 --> 00:34:23,909
So what! Who cares? It's human nature!
647
00:34:23,909 --> 00:34:28,259
I think we can assume she finds other guys attractive.
648
00:34:28,869 --> 00:34:31,484
I'll reveal something personal.
649
00:34:31,624 --> 00:34:35,335
When Ryan and I have sex, I can't look into his eyes.
650
00:34:35,395 --> 00:34:38,946
At least not for more than a couple of seconds.
651
00:34:39,226 --> 00:34:42,658
It's like it's too intimate or something.
652
00:34:47,748 --> 00:34:49,875
(Michelle) Let's get donuts.
653
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:53,068
Just put off getting married for as long as you can, that's all we're saying.
654
00:34:53,068 --> 00:34:56,138
Well, no, get married whenever you want, just, you know, choose wisely.
655
00:34:56,138 --> 00:34:59,276
Oh, no shit. Choose as if your life depended on it.
656
00:34:59,276 --> 00:35:01,476
You're not thinking about that now, right?
657
00:35:01,476 --> 00:35:02,646
Marriage?
658
00:35:02,646 --> 00:35:05,222
No. No. You know, I'm--
659
00:35:05,912 --> 00:35:07,698
Twenty-six.
660
00:35:08,168 --> 00:35:09,766
This fucking guy, huh?
661
00:35:09,766 --> 00:35:10,908
(Josh) Oh, I know, right?
662
00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:12,788
I would kill to be 26 again.
663
00:35:12,788 --> 00:35:16,528
I wouldn't screw it up this time. I'd show everybody how it's done.
664
00:35:17,378 --> 00:35:18,809
What is that dance?
665
00:35:18,809 --> 00:35:20,347
It's the 'how you do it' dance.
666
00:35:20,347 --> 00:35:21,283
(the others laugh)
667
00:35:21,283 --> 00:35:23,273
Did you get your medicine today, or no?
668
00:35:23,273 --> 00:35:26,280
(the others laugh)
669
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,287
(Music plays)
670
00:35:29,287 --> 00:35:32,294
Look at all these cool people.
671
00:35:32,414 --> 00:35:39,115
I never meet anyone. I'm always cooped up in that stupid house or running errands.
672
00:35:39,115 --> 00:35:40,960
Your house is awesome.
673
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,175
You should be grateful.
674
00:35:43,415 --> 00:35:45,717
I know. You're right.
675
00:35:45,717 --> 00:35:47,439
We're all really blessed.
676
00:35:47,669 --> 00:35:51,931
I know. We are really, really fortunate.
677
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:55,828
You see that guy?
678
00:35:55,858 --> 00:35:57,253
(Lisa) Yeah.
679
00:35:57,263 --> 00:35:58,551
I'd fuck him.
680
00:35:58,891 --> 00:36:00,037
Really?
681
00:36:00,037 --> 00:36:01,429
(Michelle) Yep.
682
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,035
You know who I think is hot?
683
00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:05,681
Brad.
684
00:36:05,681 --> 00:36:06,779
I know.
685
00:36:06,779 --> 00:36:07,992
(Lisa laughs)
686
00:36:07,992 --> 00:36:12,445
Ginger is so lucky. I mean, she's not lucky, she's getting a divorce, but...
687
00:36:12,705 --> 00:36:16,504
Ah... Chris is so good-looking--
688
00:36:16,504 --> 00:36:18,933
and now she gets to have sex with Brad.
689
00:36:19,083 --> 00:36:22,664
Do you ever wish you could just put your marriage on hold for a little while?
690
00:36:22,664 --> 00:36:27,845
Be single again, you know, just for a little bit, then go back to being married.
691
00:36:27,925 --> 00:36:30,577
Probably nobody would go back.
692
00:36:30,577 --> 00:36:36,446
I just miss feeling excited, about anything, you know?
693
00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:41,675
When you meet somebody new, it's so exciting, those feelings.
694
00:36:41,675 --> 00:36:43,681
It's like when you were in high school--
695
00:36:43,681 --> 00:36:45,692
and you would be going to a party--
696
00:36:45,692 --> 00:36:49,523
and you didn't know if a guy that you liked was going to be there but--
697
00:36:49,523 --> 00:36:55,315
--you just didn't know what was going to happen. Would you get to talk to him, would you get to make out?
698
00:36:55,315 --> 00:36:57,525
We used to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.
699
00:36:57,525 --> 00:37:00,906
We never did that! I'm so bummed!
700
00:37:00,906 --> 00:37:02,977
It was awesome.
701
00:37:09,857 --> 00:37:11,876
Hey, you guys?
702
00:37:12,216 --> 00:37:13,431
Yeah?
703
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:16,835
I have an idea, but, uh, Bree, you're not gonna approve.
704
00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:18,461
Yeah?
705
00:37:18,461 --> 00:37:22,204
When we get back to the house, let's tell the guys we want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.
706
00:37:22,204 --> 00:37:22,999
(Lisa laughs)
707
00:37:22,999 --> 00:37:24,164
(Michelle squeals)
708
00:37:24,164 --> 00:37:26,311
Wait. You mean the game where you go in the--
709
00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:27,919
Yes!
710
00:37:28,149 --> 00:37:29,792
(Ginger) Okay. (laughs)
711
00:37:29,902 --> 00:37:30,945
(Lisa) Yes!
712
00:37:31,425 --> 00:37:32,722
(Bree) Seriously?
713
00:37:35,852 --> 00:37:37,315
We have an idea.
714
00:37:37,315 --> 00:37:38,802
It's kind of unorthodox.
715
00:37:38,802 --> 00:37:40,526
Unorthodox. Where'd you get that?
716
00:37:40,526 --> 00:37:42,005
What do you mean?
717
00:37:42,005 --> 00:37:43,672
I've never heard you use that word before.
718
00:37:43,672 --> 00:37:46,882
I read books, Josh! More than you do, and you're a writer!
719
00:37:47,402 --> 00:37:50,436
We want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.
720
00:37:50,796 --> 00:37:52,014
What's that?
721
00:37:52,014 --> 00:37:52,951
Isn't that the thing where you--
722
00:37:52,951 --> 00:37:55,808
It's a game where two people go in a closet and make out for seven minutes.
723
00:37:55,808 --> 00:37:59,365
Okay, but... I can make out with you anytime I want to,
724
00:37:59,365 --> 00:38:01,263
and I don't have to go in a closet
725
00:38:01,263 --> 00:38:03,911
and I don't have to do it for the full seven minutes.
726
00:38:04,221 --> 00:38:05,360
(the others laugh)
727
00:38:05,380 --> 00:38:10,970
I'm not talking about spouses with spouses. We're talking about random pairings.
728
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,370
What the hell are you talking about?
729
00:38:14,610 --> 00:38:17,767
(Lisa and Michelle) Seven Minutes in Heaven!
730
00:38:18,187 --> 00:38:20,224
You wanna play this game?
731
00:38:20,694 --> 00:38:22,431
Seven Minutes in the Closet?
732
00:38:23,011 --> 00:38:24,179
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
733
00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:25,349
Whatever.
734
00:38:25,349 --> 00:38:27,104
No. Do you?
735
00:38:27,104 --> 00:38:29,339
No. Hell no. These people are nuts.
736
00:38:29,339 --> 00:38:32,393
I know, I know. Apparently we're boring.
737
00:38:33,823 --> 00:38:35,260
You wanna play?!
738
00:38:35,260 --> 00:38:37,072
No! Do you?!
739
00:38:37,072 --> 00:38:38,679
No!
740
00:38:39,519 --> 00:38:43,657
Michelle thinks we're fearful and naive. We're not adventurous.
741
00:38:43,657 --> 00:38:47,083
Being adventurous is, like, riding a motorcycle across South America--
742
00:38:47,083 --> 00:38:49,310
that's adventurous.
743
00:38:49,470 --> 00:38:52,797
Letting another guy make out with your wife--that's stupid.
744
00:38:53,097 --> 00:38:54,285
Wikipedia.
745
00:38:57,265 --> 00:39:01,806
Seven Minutes in Heaven is a kissing game first played by teenagers
746
00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:03,987
in Cincinnati in the early 1950s.
747
00:39:03,987 --> 00:39:07,888
See? Midwesterners know how to party because their winters are so long.
748
00:39:07,888 --> 00:39:09,304
(the others laugh)
749
00:39:09,304 --> 00:39:13,384
Two people selected go into a closet or another dark enclosed space--
750
00:39:13,384 --> 00:39:15,914
and do whatever they like for seven minutes.
751
00:39:15,914 --> 00:39:17,434
(Chris) Mm-hm.
752
00:39:17,434 --> 00:39:19,084
This is what you wanna do?
753
00:39:19,234 --> 00:39:20,543
Yeah.
754
00:39:20,543 --> 00:39:22,351
So, are you guys in?
755
00:39:22,821 --> 00:39:25,100
No./Okay./No./Yes.
756
00:39:25,230 --> 00:39:27,196
Okay./No./Okay./No.
757
00:39:30,946 --> 00:39:34,445
If we did this, you'd regret it and you'd be jealous--
758
00:39:34,445 --> 00:39:37,504
and I'd hear about it til the day I die.
759
00:39:37,574 --> 00:39:39,744
Don't flatter yourself.
760
00:39:40,634 --> 00:39:42,847
O-kay. Okay.
761
00:39:42,877 --> 00:39:45,940
I'm in. What about you two? Are you in?
762
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:46,724
No.
763
00:39:46,724 --> 00:39:47,648
No.
764
00:39:47,648 --> 00:39:50,786
C'mon. Either we all do it or none of us plays.
765
00:39:50,786 --> 00:39:51,847
We're not gonna play.
766
00:39:51,847 --> 00:39:53,043
We're not going to play.
767
00:39:53,043 --> 00:39:54,803
(Michelle) Unh--
768
00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:56,594
So, should we still play?
769
00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:57,565
Yeah.
770
00:39:57,565 --> 00:39:59,458
(Lisa) Yeah.
771
00:39:59,458 --> 00:40:01,722
Can I talk to you for a second?
772
00:40:01,722 --> 00:40:03,468
O-kay.
773
00:40:03,928 --> 00:40:05,545
(Josh) You're in trouble.
774
00:40:17,325 --> 00:40:19,259
Look at that view.
775
00:40:22,329 --> 00:40:23,899
I want a pool.
776
00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:25,380
Are you crazy?
777
00:40:25,380 --> 00:40:28,843
I just wanna do something different. Unpredictable.
778
00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:30,909
Every day I wake up and I do the exact same thing.
779
00:40:30,909 --> 00:40:34,415
I try to get some writing done but mostly I just change diapers--
780
00:40:34,415 --> 00:40:39,098
and clean up after the kids and straighten up the house and feed the kids--
781
00:40:39,098 --> 00:40:42,533
and read 'em a bedtime story and then spend hours trying to put Chloe to sleep--
782
00:40:42,533 --> 00:40:47,328
and then I wake up the next day and do the exact same thing except maybe I go to Target.
783
00:40:47,328 --> 00:40:52,294
If I seriously stopped to think about what my life has become, I would freak out.
784
00:40:52,294 --> 00:40:53,696
You wanted kids.
785
00:40:53,696 --> 00:40:57,886
Dave, I love Emma and Chloe. They're the best thing that ever happened to me--
786
00:40:57,886 --> 00:41:01,132
Stop saying that. Obviously you don't really feel that way.
787
00:41:01,972 --> 00:41:05,923
If you think for a second that I don't adore them, then you're crazy.
788
00:41:05,923 --> 00:41:08,204
Why else would I do everything for them?
789
00:41:08,204 --> 00:41:10,439
Then why can't you do everything for them happily?
790
00:41:10,439 --> 00:41:13,359
You have to complain about it every step of the way.
791
00:41:13,359 --> 00:41:16,269
Why can't you be one of those women that's, just, you know, happy?
792
00:41:16,269 --> 00:41:17,560
Because it's hard!
793
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,749
No, it isn't. You just decide you're going to be happy and then you do it!
794
00:41:20,749 --> 00:41:24,008
You know? Sometimes a person just has to have self-control.
795
00:41:24,008 --> 00:41:26,827
It's not like you're Mr. Sunshine, walking around all cheerful.
796
00:41:26,827 --> 00:41:29,392
Because my wife is always dissatisfied.
797
00:41:29,392 --> 00:41:32,177
It's human nature to want more.
798
00:41:35,177 --> 00:41:39,129
I'm not sexist, you know I'm not, but I think this is a gender thing.
799
00:41:39,129 --> 00:41:41,921
Women always want more.
800
00:41:42,741 --> 00:41:45,585
Well, I can think of one thing men always want more of.
801
00:41:45,975 --> 00:41:47,223
Sex.
802
00:41:47,223 --> 00:41:48,807
And now here's your chance.
803
00:41:48,807 --> 00:41:50,557
What, we're gonna have sex with these people?
804
00:41:50,557 --> 00:41:51,787
It's a kissing game.
805
00:41:51,897 --> 00:41:53,883
Why can't we play Cranium?
806
00:41:53,883 --> 00:41:56,657
Dave. This is your chance to make out with someone.
807
00:41:56,657 --> 00:41:58,887
It's YOUR chance to make out with someone.
808
00:41:58,887 --> 00:42:00,405
What do you care?!
809
00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:03,273
I walk around with food in my teeth and you don't even tell me--
810
00:42:03,273 --> 00:42:06,721
because you don't notice because you don't even look at me!
811
00:42:06,721 --> 00:42:10,641
Remember when I got my hair cut and you didn't notice but you noticed when you got the credit card bill?
812
00:42:10,641 --> 00:42:12,366
Because it was two hundred dollars!
813
00:42:12,366 --> 00:42:13,565
I know!
814
00:42:16,775 --> 00:42:18,404
I think we have problems.
815
00:42:18,404 --> 00:42:20,482
Everybody has problems.
816
00:42:20,482 --> 00:42:22,381
Ryan and Bree are happy.
817
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:24,057
They don't have kids.
818
00:42:24,107 --> 00:42:25,539
You wanted kids!
819
00:42:25,539 --> 00:42:28,368
I'm just saying their life is one continuous round of pleasure--
820
00:42:28,368 --> 00:42:32,824
restaurants, movies, reading every issue of the New Yorker from cover to cover.
821
00:42:33,244 --> 00:42:36,890
It's actually a pretty selfish existence.
822
00:42:37,910 --> 00:42:39,897
We had problems before we had kids.
823
00:42:39,897 --> 00:42:41,176
No.
824
00:42:45,526 --> 00:42:47,800
Yeah. Well.
825
00:42:55,410 --> 00:42:57,764
If you don't want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven, we won't.
826
00:42:57,834 --> 00:43:00,556
God, that name--it's so corny.
827
00:43:01,696 --> 00:43:03,908
Of course Ryan and Bree aren't playing.
828
00:43:03,908 --> 00:43:05,243
So?
829
00:43:05,493 --> 00:43:07,688
Everybody else is game.
830
00:43:15,928 --> 00:43:17,765
(Josh) Right.
831
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:25,434
(Chris) Well? Are you in?
832
00:43:25,664 --> 00:43:27,014
She wants to, so...
833
00:43:27,304 --> 00:43:28,597
Fun!
834
00:43:28,797 --> 00:43:34,193
Alright, my lawyer says it'll be valid because we'd all be witnesses to each other's signatures.
835
00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:36,391
(Dave) What?
836
00:43:36,621 --> 00:43:40,598
I printed a limited liability agreement from the Net.
837
00:43:40,598 --> 00:43:43,276
It's a boilerplate agreement, so I had to add some wording--
838
00:43:43,276 --> 00:43:47,114
but basically we're agreeing to not talk about the game after tonight.
839
00:43:47,114 --> 00:43:50,804
So that, you know, no one fights about it afterward.
840
00:43:50,804 --> 00:43:53,297
And we can't discuss it publicly, either.
841
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,435
Well, good. Because I don't want anybody thinking we're swingers.
842
00:43:56,435 --> 00:43:59,786
Yeah. It could have a negative effect on my career.
843
00:43:59,946 --> 00:44:02,997
Well, all of our careers. We all have careers, so...
844
00:44:03,227 --> 00:44:06,129
Of course. Well, everyone except for Lisa.
845
00:44:06,129 --> 00:44:09,130
I work. I run this household.
846
00:44:09,130 --> 00:44:14,315
If by 'run this household' you mean calling the maid and ordering take-out.
847
00:44:14,745 --> 00:44:17,096
Don't talk to me like that.
848
00:44:17,876 --> 00:44:22,714
Lisa, c'mon. It's not like you're actually doing all the work yourself--
849
00:44:22,714 --> 00:44:25,472
cleaning the house, the pool, doing the landscaping.
850
00:44:25,472 --> 00:44:33,140
I coordinate everything. I pay the bills and run the errands, so that you can work 24/7. I make your life possible.
851
00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:36,789
Oh, wow, like that's a privilege. I get to work 24/7.
852
00:44:36,789 --> 00:44:38,645
You love working.
853
00:44:39,205 --> 00:44:44,065
I have to go to the well while I can. This could all change overnight.
854
00:44:44,755 --> 00:44:50,425
Yeah, I'm the hot writer now. But that can't last forever, right?
855
00:44:56,435 --> 00:44:59,115
Okay. Yes. I love to work.
856
00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:05,555
I'm sorry. You're right. You make my life possible.
857
00:45:06,695 --> 00:45:08,813
Thank you.
858
00:45:12,963 --> 00:45:14,983
Which closet are we going to use?
859
00:45:14,983 --> 00:45:17,153
(Music plays)
860
00:45:17,153 --> 00:45:19,535
(Michelle) Where does this even go?
861
00:45:29,965 --> 00:45:31,577
(Michelle) Ahhh!
862
00:45:32,157 --> 00:45:34,100
I'll be the deejay.
863
00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:37,018
Bryan Ferry.
864
00:45:37,058 --> 00:45:39,076
Too obvious?
865
00:45:40,016 --> 00:45:42,066
Who would you want to be matched with?
866
00:45:42,066 --> 00:45:42,983
What do you mean?
867
00:45:42,983 --> 00:45:44,242
If we played.
868
00:45:45,992 --> 00:45:47,181
You want to play.
869
00:45:47,181 --> 00:45:49,763
Nah, I'm just saying, if we did, who would you want to be paired with?
870
00:45:49,763 --> 00:45:52,387
No one. Who would you want to be paired with?
871
00:45:52,387 --> 00:45:53,483
No one.
872
00:45:53,483 --> 00:45:58,382
Why'd you ask me that? Obviously you've thought about who you'd want to be paired with.
873
00:45:58,382 --> 00:46:01,105
No, I was thinking that maybe it was on your mind.
874
00:46:01,385 --> 00:46:03,465
Well, if we're going to argue, then we might as well play.
875
00:46:03,665 --> 00:46:05,132
You wanna play.
876
00:46:05,422 --> 00:46:08,581
No. Do you?
877
00:46:08,581 --> 00:46:10,866
No.
878
00:46:11,086 --> 00:46:14,189
(Music plays)
879
00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:28,292
(Brad laughs)
880
00:46:28,292 --> 00:46:31,996
I don't know. Bad feng shui.
881
00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:35,572
I know you find Lisa attractive.
882
00:46:35,692 --> 00:46:36,672
No--
883
00:46:36,672 --> 00:46:38,684
Maybe not her face, but her breasts.
884
00:46:38,684 --> 00:46:40,613
No, I don't.
885
00:46:40,973 --> 00:46:42,065
Liar.
886
00:46:42,065 --> 00:46:42,966
Bree, I mean--
887
00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:46,695
No, look, look--you have to lie. I mean, you have no choice.
888
00:46:46,765 --> 00:46:49,918
What're you going to say, 'Yeah, she's got great tits'?
889
00:46:49,918 --> 00:46:53,651
You can't say that. So, you lie. To keep the peace.
890
00:46:53,651 --> 00:46:57,624
See? Everything's based on a foundation of bullshit.
891
00:46:58,464 --> 00:47:01,070
That's so depressing.
892
00:47:01,070 --> 00:47:03,746
We should just be honest.
893
00:47:03,746 --> 00:47:07,472
Okay. You first.
894
00:47:07,962 --> 00:47:09,719
Okay.
895
00:47:12,879 --> 00:47:18,007
Yes. Lisa has nice breasts. But you know they're gonna sag.
896
00:47:18,267 --> 00:47:21,145
And yours are gonna stay nice and perfect-looking.
897
00:47:21,145 --> 00:47:23,253
Yeah, because they're smaller.
898
00:47:23,253 --> 00:47:26,394
Hers are huge.
899
00:47:29,274 --> 00:47:32,576
Okay? Now you say something honest.
900
00:47:32,636 --> 00:47:37,334
Be honest about something.
901
00:47:37,334 --> 00:47:43,905
Alright, this is not a big deal. I mean, it's silly, because he's famous and unattainable, but...
902
00:47:44,455 --> 00:47:47,496
I find Matt Damon attractive.
903
00:47:48,736 --> 00:47:50,539
Matt Damon?
904
00:47:50,539 --> 00:47:53,077
He's not unattainable. You could totally get him.
905
00:47:53,077 --> 00:47:56,657
Ryan, he's married. And his wife seems really lovely.
906
00:47:56,657 --> 00:48:02,819
Why do people use that word, 'lovely'? It's so pretentious. Like, what are we, British or something? Huh?
907
00:48:02,819 --> 00:48:05,831
I guarantee if Matt Damon met you, he'd be attracted to you.
908
00:48:05,831 --> 00:48:11,635
No, he wouldn't, okay? And that's part of why I like him, you know? I feel like he's a nice guy. He's got integrity.
909
00:48:11,635 --> 00:48:15,301
Oh, boy, you've really thought a lot about this, haven't you, huh?
910
00:48:15,301 --> 00:48:18,202
Matt Damon? I mean, he's not even funny.
911
00:48:18,202 --> 00:48:20,357
Yeah, remember when he was on "Will and Grace"?
912
00:48:20,357 --> 00:48:25,900
You fucking remember that? I mean, you've really been into him for a while, haven't you?
913
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:29,861
I'm not going to argue with you about this. If we're going to argue, then let's go play Seven Minutes in Heaven.
914
00:48:29,861 --> 00:48:31,632
If you want to fucking play, then let's fucking play!
915
00:48:31,722 --> 00:48:33,375
I don't want to play!
916
00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:35,749
Of course you don't wanna play. Not with these slobs.
917
00:48:35,749 --> 00:48:39,183
They're no temptation to you. Not when you're obsessed with Matt Damon.
918
00:48:39,183 --> 00:48:40,317
Oh my God.
919
00:48:40,317 --> 00:48:43,165
I mean, I don't know how I'm going to find time to get washboard abs--
920
00:48:43,165 --> 00:48:47,253
when I'm busy trying to work my ass off, to build a comedy career.
921
00:48:47,253 --> 00:48:50,569
I mean, who knows what will happen, when you run into Damon--
922
00:48:50,569 --> 00:48:56,515
while I'm out, flying all over creation, performing in clubs, to try to pay for our fucking house!
923
00:48:56,515 --> 00:49:00,311
This is insane. I'm not going to leave you for Matt Damon.
924
00:49:00,311 --> 00:49:09,094
You think he'd be faithful to you? Huh? A fucking actor? They fall in and out of love like kids at summer camp, huh?
925
00:49:09,094 --> 00:49:14,097
Ya really think he's gonna be into you, when you get old and your breasts sag?
926
00:49:20,097 --> 00:49:21,793
What do you think?
927
00:49:22,053 --> 00:49:24,200
This is perfect.
928
00:49:28,060 --> 00:49:30,572
So, we can use these to draw names.
929
00:49:30,572 --> 00:49:34,820
Oh, here, I'll do it. So, Ryan thinks you have nice breasts.
930
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,920
Thanks.
931
00:49:40,390 --> 00:49:42,494
No problem.
932
00:49:42,494 --> 00:49:44,644
(the others laugh)
933
00:49:44,644 --> 00:49:47,059
(Michelle) Real original.
934
00:49:55,519 --> 00:49:57,443
(Josh) Well, here we go.
935
00:49:59,243 --> 00:50:01,214
Okay, you guys ready to play?
936
00:50:01,214 --> 00:50:03,366
I didn't know married people did stuff like this.
937
00:50:03,366 --> 00:50:04,613
They don't.
938
00:50:04,613 --> 00:50:07,335
You don't know that. We don't know what other married people do.
939
00:50:07,335 --> 00:50:11,168
Well, we're short one girl. So, someone's gonna have to go twice.
940
00:50:11,438 --> 00:50:15,232
Me. If you have two kids, you go twice.
941
00:50:16,963 --> 00:50:19,489
No one picks their own spouse.
942
00:50:19,489 --> 00:50:21,593
There's gotta be a more efficient way to do this, like a mathematical way.
943
00:50:21,593 --> 00:50:25,114
Too bad we're all writers, we'll never find out.
944
00:50:30,454 --> 00:50:31,884
Lisa.
945
00:50:31,884 --> 00:50:34,000
Ooooh.
946
00:50:36,670 --> 00:50:38,526
(Ryan) That's your wife.
947
00:50:38,526 --> 00:50:40,175
(Josh) Yeah, please. Fill 'er up.
948
00:50:40,175 --> 00:50:41,706
Can I get a drink?
949
00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:44,054
Have fun.
950
00:50:47,604 --> 00:50:49,495
(Bree) I love how you're smiling.
951
00:50:49,495 --> 00:50:50,984
I don't care.
952
00:50:50,984 --> 00:50:52,449
(Josh) You don't care?
953
00:50:52,449 --> 00:50:54,045
(Michelle) I don't.
954
00:51:04,435 --> 00:51:07,158
Think this is a test? Like, they're testing us?
955
00:51:07,158 --> 00:51:10,584
Here, we're going first, 'cause they wanna see if we're actually gonna do something.
956
00:51:10,584 --> 00:51:12,190
Then they'll just, like, crucify us.
957
00:51:12,190 --> 00:51:14,706
No. Mm-mm.
958
00:51:16,006 --> 00:51:17,926
This wood paneling is nice.
959
00:51:17,926 --> 00:51:22,047
Yeah, I know. It's original, it's from the '50s.
960
00:51:22,257 --> 00:51:25,471
Josh wanted to redo it, because he likes everything so perfect.
961
00:51:25,471 --> 00:51:28,805
He prides himself on being a perfectionist.
962
00:51:28,805 --> 00:51:33,258
You know what's funny? My mom is a human resources manager for a hospital--
963
00:51:33,258 --> 00:51:37,102
So, she's a real student of human nature--do I sound like a geek?
964
00:51:37,102 --> 00:51:38,504
No. No.
965
00:51:38,914 --> 00:51:43,267
Anyway. So. When she interviews someone, and they say that they're a perfectionist,
966
00:51:43,267 --> 00:51:48,153
she doesn't buy it. She says true perfectionists are so demanding of themselves--
967
00:51:48,153 --> 00:51:51,319
they don't think of themselves as anywhere near perfect.
968
00:51:51,319 --> 00:51:55,895
They think that everything they do is so far from perfection that they couldn't possibly be a perfectionist.
969
00:51:55,895 --> 00:51:57,262
I love that.
970
00:51:57,262 --> 00:51:59,913
So. I don't think Josh is a perfectionist.
971
00:51:59,913 --> 00:52:02,414
You ever read his scripts, when he finishes them?
972
00:52:02,414 --> 00:52:03,656
Always.
973
00:52:03,656 --> 00:52:05,553
Do they have any typos?
974
00:52:05,713 --> 00:52:07,056
Tons!
975
00:52:07,056 --> 00:52:09,092
I rest my case.
976
00:52:09,092 --> 00:52:16,635
I sound like an old person. Next thing you know I'll be saying 'gams' instead of legs. 'Look at the gams on her!'
977
00:52:16,635 --> 00:52:18,347
You're so funny.
978
00:52:18,347 --> 00:52:19,794
Really?
979
00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:24,534
Yeah. Michelle doesn't tell you that very often, huh?
980
00:52:24,534 --> 00:52:27,424
It's extremely rare. It's part of her winning formula.
981
00:52:27,424 --> 00:52:31,172
She hardly ever throws you a bone, so when she does, you feel like you're the king of the world.
982
00:52:31,172 --> 00:52:33,420
Omigod, now I'm James Cameron.
983
00:52:33,900 --> 00:52:37,180
He's not such a bad guy.
984
00:52:37,180 --> 00:52:40,855
Josh hardly ever compliments me either.
985
00:52:41,295 --> 00:52:47,065
It's 'cause they're insecure. Really insecure people never give compliments. They can't afford to.
986
00:52:47,065 --> 00:52:49,413
You're right.
987
00:52:50,163 --> 00:52:55,230
You're so smart and funny and--god, Michelle's lucky.
988
00:52:55,230 --> 00:52:58,567
You're such a man, you know? You're such a... guy.
989
00:52:59,297 --> 00:53:03,781
Oh my god, it feels so good to get compliments from a beautiful girl.
990
00:53:03,781 --> 00:53:07,515
I wish beautiful girls would give me compliments all the time, you know?
991
00:53:07,515 --> 00:53:09,549
Is it wrong to want that?
992
00:53:09,549 --> 00:53:10,874
No.
993
00:53:12,764 --> 00:53:14,654
You think I'm beautiful?
994
00:53:16,154 --> 00:53:17,638
Of course.
995
00:53:22,198 --> 00:53:24,651
Should we make out?
996
00:53:24,871 --> 00:53:28,785
Maybe. I don't know if this whole marriage thing is going to work out, so...
997
00:53:28,815 --> 00:53:30,963
I'll probably give it a go.
998
00:53:33,403 --> 00:53:35,216
You're really funny.
999
00:53:35,216 --> 00:53:39,551
Keep saying that and I will leave her. I'm serious. I will do it. Right now.
1000
00:53:39,551 --> 00:53:42,321
You're so funny.
1001
00:53:52,051 --> 00:53:54,951
(Music plays)
1002
00:54:01,011 --> 00:54:04,481
(the others, offscreen) "Time's up! Time's up!"
1003
00:54:04,571 --> 00:54:07,292
Omigod, why did we waste time talking?
1004
00:54:14,182 --> 00:54:19,258
(the others) "Time's up!!!"
1005
00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:24,045
This, uh, contract is not going to prevent arguments.
1006
00:54:24,045 --> 00:54:25,522
I know.
1007
00:54:25,522 --> 00:54:27,209
Do I have any lipstick on me?
1008
00:54:27,209 --> 00:54:28,161
You're good.
1009
00:54:28,161 --> 00:54:29,486
Thank you.
1010
00:54:29,486 --> 00:54:31,346
Time's up!
1011
00:54:38,966 --> 00:54:40,091
What?
1012
00:54:41,231 --> 00:54:43,057
Did you do anything?
1013
00:54:45,987 --> 00:54:47,969
Tsk. You didn't do anything.
1014
00:54:47,969 --> 00:54:51,219
I thought we weren't discussing it. We signed the contract.
1015
00:54:53,379 --> 00:54:55,310
You didn't do anything?
1016
00:54:55,310 --> 00:54:57,786
We signed the contract.
1017
00:54:57,786 --> 00:55:00,507
Okay. We're honoring the contract.
1018
00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:08,226
Ginger.
1019
00:55:08,836 --> 00:55:10,088
Oh, boy.
1020
00:55:10,568 --> 00:55:12,324
Okaay.
1021
00:55:13,394 --> 00:55:16,308
Alrighty, sir...
1022
00:55:16,308 --> 00:55:17,722
M'lady...
1023
00:55:17,722 --> 00:55:19,050
Don't hurt nobody.
1024
00:55:19,050 --> 00:55:20,608
(Josh) Excuse me, Brad.
1025
00:55:29,388 --> 00:55:31,256
This is a little weird, huh?
1026
00:55:31,256 --> 00:55:32,704
Yeah.
1027
00:56:00,229 --> 00:56:02,243
What's wrong?
1028
00:56:07,313 --> 00:56:11,148
(Josh) Should I go get someone? One of the girls? Or--?
1029
00:56:11,908 --> 00:56:14,504
(Josh) Is this about Chris?
1030
00:56:18,204 --> 00:56:20,273
It's everything.
1031
00:56:27,093 --> 00:56:31,387
Aw, I'm sorry. I'm ruining this for you.
1032
00:56:31,387 --> 00:56:34,185
No, no, please.
1033
00:56:34,185 --> 00:56:38,186
Don't you like, uh, Brad? He seems okay.
1034
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:42,583
Yeah. Yeah. He's--he's just young.
1035
00:56:44,296 --> 00:56:46,718
We're always talking about his hopes and dreams.
1036
00:56:46,718 --> 00:56:48,585
Oh, God...
1037
00:56:49,295 --> 00:56:51,755
Yeah. It's depressing.
1038
00:56:51,755 --> 00:56:55,461
Ahh, I just can't go through all this again.
1039
00:56:56,121 --> 00:57:01,377
I mean, he thinks that he loves me. But we would never last.
1040
00:57:02,657 --> 00:57:06,729
Even if I allowed myself to fall in love with him--which I could--
1041
00:57:07,079 --> 00:57:13,753
Eventually he'd leave me for someone young. Younger.
1042
00:57:14,873 --> 00:57:16,687
Like Chris did.
1043
00:57:16,817 --> 00:57:22,163
He's crazy. He was so stupid to cheat on you.
1044
00:57:25,183 --> 00:57:27,455
You smell amazing.
1045
00:57:28,675 --> 00:57:32,921
Thank you. It's Jo Malone 154.
1046
00:57:33,431 --> 00:57:36,725
Lisa owns every perfume but that.
1047
00:57:37,645 --> 00:57:39,961
Why don't you buy it for her?
1048
00:57:43,801 --> 00:57:50,044
There's something about a person who gets themselves everything that they want...
1049
00:57:50,534 --> 00:57:55,567
It makes you not want to get them stuff.
1050
00:57:57,787 --> 00:58:00,432
That sounds bad, doesn't it? I sound like a jerk.
1051
00:58:00,432 --> 00:58:01,651
No, no.
1052
00:58:01,651 --> 00:58:03,004
Yeah.
1053
00:58:03,004 --> 00:58:05,216
No. But maybe you need to talk to someone about it.
1054
00:58:05,216 --> 00:58:09,236
What do you mean, a therapist? I can't afford that.
1055
00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:10,884
Ga, Josh.
1056
00:58:10,884 --> 00:58:15,402
You have a $2.5-million-dollar house, what're you talking about?
1057
00:58:15,402 --> 00:58:19,141
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about--I can't afford that.
1058
00:58:24,041 --> 00:58:27,285
(the others, offscreen) Time's up!!
1059
00:58:32,085 --> 00:58:33,402
Where's Ginger?
1060
00:58:33,402 --> 00:58:35,233
She went to the bathroom.
1061
00:58:41,503 --> 00:58:43,150
(the others laugh)
1062
00:58:50,110 --> 00:58:52,950
Michelle.
1063
00:58:59,710 --> 00:59:01,077
I'm so glad I got you.
1064
00:59:01,077 --> 00:59:02,293
Really?
1065
00:59:02,293 --> 00:59:03,592
Yeah.
1066
00:59:04,302 --> 00:59:06,292
Um, I need to ask you something.
1067
00:59:06,502 --> 00:59:08,423
Yeah, we can do more than just kiss.
1068
00:59:08,423 --> 00:59:13,025
No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, it's about Ginger.
1069
00:59:14,435 --> 00:59:15,651
O-kay.
1070
00:59:16,541 --> 00:59:19,644
Do you think she would reconcile?
1071
00:59:20,404 --> 00:59:22,354
You wanna get back together?
1072
00:59:22,354 --> 00:59:24,842
Yeah. I have to get her back.
1073
00:59:26,122 --> 00:59:27,826
I don't know--
1074
00:59:27,846 --> 00:59:29,396
You must have some idea.
1075
00:59:29,396 --> 00:59:31,293
No, really, I don't.
1076
00:59:32,033 --> 00:59:34,430
I don't know if she'd go back.
1077
00:59:35,330 --> 00:59:37,269
You know, when she turns a corner--
1078
00:59:37,279 --> 00:59:39,803
I know. I know.
1079
00:59:40,613 --> 00:59:45,669
In college, she used to cry over a guy for a week and then he was dead to her.
1080
00:59:45,699 --> 00:59:48,305
When she's done, she's done, you know?
1081
00:59:48,385 --> 00:59:49,342
Yeah.
1082
00:59:49,342 --> 00:59:51,390
If this is about her looking good, Chris--
1083
00:59:51,390 --> 00:59:54,117
Oh, please, I'm shallow, I'm not ridiculous.
1084
00:59:54,117 --> 00:59:57,255
That's why I came here tonight, to see if she would get back together with me
1085
00:59:57,255 --> 00:59:59,783
And then she shows up with this boy toy.
1086
00:59:59,783 --> 01:00:02,591
You got a hotel room with a 23-year-old actress!
1087
01:00:02,591 --> 01:00:04,246
She was twenty-eight.
1088
01:00:04,706 --> 01:00:06,967
Okay, well on IMDB it's says that she's--
1089
01:00:06,967 --> 01:00:10,671
She's an actress. She lies about her age.
1090
01:00:12,641 --> 01:00:14,419
So, you regret it?
1091
01:00:14,419 --> 01:00:18,124
Oh my god, yes, I regret it.
1092
01:00:18,124 --> 01:00:20,359
If I could take it back, I would.
1093
01:00:22,739 --> 01:00:25,414
But at some point, it was exciting, right?
1094
01:00:26,054 --> 01:00:27,963
For about two minutes.
1095
01:00:27,963 --> 01:00:32,121
But it was, like, great, right? Like, did you, like, feel alive?
1096
01:00:32,121 --> 01:00:36,843
Are you thinking about cheating on Dave? Is that what this is about, our playing this game?
1097
01:00:37,133 --> 01:00:38,572
No, I just...
1098
01:00:39,432 --> 01:00:43,951
I'm so sick of Dave. You know?
1099
01:00:44,691 --> 01:00:49,063
Yeah, I know. And then you get tired of the person you're cheating with.
1100
01:00:49,063 --> 01:00:54,615
And then, I don't know, it just seems like bad form to cheat on the person you're cheating with.
1101
01:00:57,375 --> 01:00:58,637
Yeah.
1102
01:00:58,637 --> 01:01:02,363
And let me tell you something. It's not real great out there.
1103
01:01:02,493 --> 01:01:05,609
What's it like? Dating again?
1104
01:01:05,609 --> 01:01:07,983
It sucks.
1105
01:01:08,597 --> 01:01:14,677
Because all these people have baggage. And you're not exactly eager to find out what it is.
1106
01:01:14,677 --> 01:01:20,900
And I don't know. I don't feel like meeting strangers in restaurants and, you know,
1107
01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:25,973
immediately finding out they're nowhere near as good as Ginger.
1108
01:01:30,503 --> 01:01:33,018
Did I tell you I went to the Oscars this year?
1109
01:01:33,018 --> 01:01:35,470
A friend of mine had an extra ticket so I got to go.
1110
01:01:35,470 --> 01:01:36,653
How was it?
1111
01:01:36,653 --> 01:01:40,425
Within five minutes of being there, you're walking down the red carpet--
1112
01:01:40,425 --> 01:01:43,947
and everybody's ignoring you because you're not a star--
1113
01:01:43,947 --> 01:01:50,070
--and then you realize, you don't even want to be there if you don't have a movie in the running.
1114
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:55,741
And at this point in my life, I want to make something great.
1115
01:01:55,741 --> 01:02:00,532
You know? Something that moves people, that makes them feel something.
1116
01:02:00,532 --> 01:02:04,779
And this is going to sound weird, but I can't do it without Ginger.
1117
01:02:06,049 --> 01:02:09,316
I need her. I need her in my corner.
1118
01:02:09,316 --> 01:02:12,435
(the others, offscreen) Time's up!!
1119
01:02:12,675 --> 01:02:14,479
Are you bummed we didn't do anything?
1120
01:02:14,479 --> 01:02:16,150
No, no, it's fine.
1121
01:02:17,790 --> 01:02:20,680
I hope Ginger takes you back.
1122
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:23,549
Thanks. You're awesome.
1123
01:02:27,729 --> 01:02:32,169
Full sex, right? I'm prepared for anything.
1124
01:02:39,599 --> 01:02:42,683
I'm--I'm sorry. Can I talk to you for a sec?
1125
01:02:42,683 --> 01:02:45,371
Yeah. Yeah.
1126
01:02:58,629 --> 01:03:00,009
How was it?
1127
01:03:00,009 --> 01:03:01,239
What?
1128
01:03:03,989 --> 01:03:05,787
Making out with Josh.
1129
01:03:05,787 --> 01:03:10,409
We didn't make out. We just, we kissed a little.
1130
01:03:10,409 --> 01:03:11,518
Was it good?
1131
01:03:12,378 --> 01:03:15,904
Brad. We just talked. I was upset.
1132
01:03:15,904 --> 01:03:18,061
Why? Why were you upset?
1133
01:03:18,881 --> 01:03:21,208
He cheated on you and he left you.
1134
01:03:21,208 --> 01:03:23,086
I know.
1135
01:03:23,836 --> 01:03:26,358
What do you see in him?
1136
01:03:26,358 --> 01:03:29,640
Okay, yeah, maybe he was good-looking when he was young, but--
1137
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:31,654
Brad, he and I are the same age.
1138
01:03:31,654 --> 01:03:39,008
Yeah, but you're beautiful and interesting and smart, and he's this Hollywood producer.
1139
01:03:39,008 --> 01:03:42,782
And you took vows. And he slept with someone else.
1140
01:03:42,782 --> 01:03:44,468
Doesn't that bother you?
1141
01:03:44,468 --> 01:03:48,118
Of course. It all bothers me!
1142
01:03:48,118 --> 01:03:52,298
The fact that he cheated, the fact that we're getting a divorce--
1143
01:03:52,298 --> 01:03:57,673
The fact that Oliver's going to have to deal with the effects of this divorce for the rest of his life.
1144
01:03:57,673 --> 01:04:00,988
Stepmothers, and stepfathers, flying back and forth across the country--
1145
01:04:00,988 --> 01:04:04,864
To see one parent while he's missing the one he's not with.
1146
01:04:11,214 --> 01:04:13,030
Brad, what are we doing?
1147
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,608
What do you mean?
1148
01:04:14,908 --> 01:04:17,340
You want me to fall in love with you?
1149
01:04:17,430 --> 01:04:20,794
Yes! Please! That's what I want!
1150
01:04:20,794 --> 01:04:22,459
Okay, then what?
1151
01:04:22,459 --> 01:04:29,724
We... we enjoy life. And--and we have fun together.
1152
01:04:29,724 --> 01:04:31,529
And we have amazing sex.
1153
01:04:31,529 --> 01:04:33,785
How long would that last?
1154
01:04:33,785 --> 01:04:35,834
Ah--
1155
01:04:37,134 --> 01:04:40,528
Even if we lasted a couple of years--if we even made it to spring--
1156
01:04:40,528 --> 01:04:42,305
Of course we'd make it to spring.
1157
01:04:42,305 --> 01:04:47,679
Okay, then what? We get married, and you become Oliver's stepfather?
1158
01:04:47,679 --> 01:04:54,237
You're gonna wanna be with someone young. Someone who's in the same life phase as you.
1159
01:04:54,237 --> 01:04:55,601
Life phase?
1160
01:04:55,601 --> 01:05:01,811
Yeah, life phase. Mine involves my eyesight suddenly going to shit.
1161
01:05:01,811 --> 01:05:05,971
And buying reading glasses at the drugstore, like old people.
1162
01:05:05,971 --> 01:05:10,181
Worrying about how the teen years are going to be. Getting root canals, and--
1163
01:05:10,181 --> 01:05:13,360
It's not all serious. You can have fun.
1164
01:05:13,610 --> 01:05:15,605
Yeah, but--
1165
01:05:15,605 --> 01:05:22,820
I guess at the end of the day, I want to be with someone who is in the same place in life as me.
1166
01:05:31,545 --> 01:05:33,450
I'm ready.
1167
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:37,707
Lisa.
1168
01:05:41,637 --> 01:05:43,326
(Music plays)
1169
01:05:46,464 --> 01:05:47,781
Mm!
1170
01:05:51,431 --> 01:05:52,738
(they laugh)
1171
01:06:26,446 --> 01:06:28,245
Time's up!!
1172
01:06:30,261 --> 01:06:31,851
Time's up!
1173
01:06:34,221 --> 01:06:35,487
Oh, boy.
1174
01:06:35,657 --> 01:06:37,244
Are you kidding me?!
1175
01:06:37,244 --> 01:06:39,021
Hey, thanks for dinner.
1176
01:06:39,621 --> 01:06:41,098
(Bree) Is he leaving?
1177
01:06:41,098 --> 01:06:42,503
What the hell did you do?!
1178
01:06:42,503 --> 01:06:43,639
Nothing.
1179
01:06:43,639 --> 01:06:45,027
Right.
1180
01:06:46,237 --> 01:06:49,175
We said we were gonna honor the contract!
1181
01:07:09,675 --> 01:07:11,308
You okay?
1182
01:07:25,645 --> 01:07:27,611
Ginger...
1183
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:32,267
I wanna get back together.
1184
01:07:34,947 --> 01:07:36,494
Are you kidding?
1185
01:07:37,684 --> 01:07:39,139
No.
1186
01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,703
I'm sorry, you know, about arguing earlier.
1187
01:07:44,013 --> 01:07:46,327
Yeah, me, too.
1188
01:07:46,547 --> 01:07:48,511
I'm developing a new theory.
1189
01:07:48,701 --> 01:07:50,446
What's your theory?
1190
01:07:51,946 --> 01:07:56,319
The fact that everything is based on these little white lies is a good thing.
1191
01:07:56,319 --> 01:08:02,362
You know? It's people being compassionate toward one another. Protecting each other's feelings.
1192
01:08:02,362 --> 01:08:04,796
Okay. I wanna go with this. Go ahead.
1193
01:08:05,026 --> 01:08:08,865
Like, it's hard enough for me to accept Lisa has nice breasts--
1194
01:08:08,865 --> 01:08:10,087
No, she doesn't--
1195
01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:12,946
But I don't want to hear you say it aloud. You know?
1196
01:08:12,946 --> 01:08:16,432
Better for me to just hope you don't spend too much time thinking about them.
1197
01:08:16,432 --> 01:08:18,209
I don't.
1198
01:08:18,569 --> 01:08:19,880
Right.
1199
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:28,011
These little white lies, they are the glue that hold relationships together. They hold society together.
1200
01:08:31,531 --> 01:08:35,132
So, uh, what'd you think of my new material?
1201
01:08:35,132 --> 01:08:36,530
I think it's great.
1202
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:38,156
But what?
1203
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:40,587
Nothing. I think it's great.
1204
01:08:41,707 --> 01:08:44,219
What specifically did you have a problem with?
1205
01:08:44,539 --> 01:08:48,900
I didn't have a problem with any of it. It's all good.
1206
01:08:48,900 --> 01:08:51,263
But not as good as my best stuff.
1207
01:08:52,263 --> 01:08:53,617
It will be.
1208
01:08:54,077 --> 01:08:56,636
You're going to do your tweaking. You know?
1209
01:08:56,636 --> 01:09:01,115
You're gonna rewrite it, and rewrite it, and it's gonna be on the same level as your other stuff.
1210
01:09:01,595 --> 01:09:05,525
Sounds like I got a lot of rewriting to do, huh?
1211
01:09:05,525 --> 01:09:09,896
I feel like we have not fought this much in a year.
1212
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:12,582
It's these people. They're a bad influence.
1213
01:09:13,582 --> 01:09:15,728
So, is this because I've lost weight?
1214
01:09:15,728 --> 01:09:17,761
No. Gain it all back, I don't care.
1215
01:09:17,761 --> 01:09:22,823
Oh, you do care! Okay? Men are visually stimulated.
1216
01:09:25,473 --> 01:09:31,075
See, I miss this. I miss our conversations. I miss good conversation.
1217
01:09:31,075 --> 01:09:37,896
I went to every screening of every movie and defended each as if it were my own child.
1218
01:09:38,686 --> 01:09:41,137
The Hallmark movie, Chris?
1219
01:09:41,137 --> 01:09:43,358
You're an angel.
1220
01:09:47,618 --> 01:09:52,015
I used to love to cook for you. I don't know if I could do that now.
1221
01:09:52,445 --> 01:09:54,671
Don't say that!
1222
01:09:54,931 --> 01:09:59,421
Do you know how many tears Oliver and I have cried over you?
1223
01:09:59,421 --> 01:10:01,281
I'm sorry--
1224
01:10:01,281 --> 01:10:07,852
Being cheated on and being walked out on... It's very shaming!
1225
01:10:08,592 --> 01:10:12,449
Everyone's going to look at me and wonder how I could take you back.
1226
01:10:12,999 --> 01:10:18,264
I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Gin.
1227
01:10:21,074 --> 01:10:24,088
So, we're gonna go the whole rest of our marriage without you telling me what you did?
1228
01:10:24,088 --> 01:10:27,509
The 'whole rest of our marriage' makes it sound like we're gonna last a long time.
1229
01:10:27,509 --> 01:10:28,966
You don't think we will?
1230
01:10:28,966 --> 01:10:30,209
I don't know.
1231
01:10:30,209 --> 01:10:33,277
Well, that doesn't sound good.
1232
01:10:34,947 --> 01:10:38,550
Is this about that kid? What, are you, like, in love with him or something?
1233
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:40,191
No.
1234
01:10:40,811 --> 01:10:42,535
I can't believe this.
1235
01:10:42,535 --> 01:10:44,999
That punk. I served him Opus One.
1236
01:10:44,999 --> 01:10:47,905
And he did God knows what with my wife.
1237
01:10:47,905 --> 01:10:50,298
Josh, I didn't say I wanna break up.
1238
01:10:50,298 --> 01:10:53,324
It wouldn't be a break-up, it would be a divorce.
1239
01:10:54,244 --> 01:10:57,895
Well, I'm not thinking about divorce.
1240
01:10:58,065 --> 01:10:59,706
I was earlier tonight.
1241
01:11:00,036 --> 01:11:01,249
What?!
1242
01:11:02,289 --> 01:11:05,605
It's just that the girls think that you don't respect me.
1243
01:11:05,605 --> 01:11:11,011
The way that you're always making sarcastic remarks and trying to take me down a notch.
1244
01:11:11,011 --> 01:11:12,317
I respect you.
1245
01:11:14,047 --> 01:11:16,431
I don't know if you do.
1246
01:11:17,961 --> 01:11:23,179
Wha--what does that word mean anyway--'respect'? Respect.
1247
01:11:28,099 --> 01:11:33,731
Obviously, I respect you. If I didn't, why would I want to go to that kid's next showcase
1248
01:11:33,731 --> 01:11:37,903
and beat the shit out of him in front of his agents and managers and everybody?
1249
01:11:39,003 --> 01:11:42,806
Not much of a guest room. What is this, the servants' quarters?
1250
01:11:42,806 --> 01:11:45,115
Stop complaining.
1251
01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:49,318
So. What'd you and Chris do?
1252
01:11:49,508 --> 01:11:51,053
Nothing.
1253
01:11:51,353 --> 01:11:53,500
Michelle.
1254
01:11:53,500 --> 01:11:58,130
I'm serious. We didn't do anything. We just talked. He wants to get back together with Ginger.
1255
01:11:58,130 --> 01:12:01,300
He does? Is she gonna take him back?
1256
01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:03,639
I don't know.
1257
01:12:04,489 --> 01:12:06,215
What did you and Lisa do?
1258
01:12:06,215 --> 01:12:08,122
Wait, I wanna talk about Ginger and Chris.
1259
01:12:08,122 --> 01:12:10,777
No, let's talk about you and Lisa.
1260
01:12:11,417 --> 01:12:14,344
I'm not trying to grill you, I'm just curious.
1261
01:12:15,274 --> 01:12:17,801
I'm glad it was her. I'm not jealous of her.
1262
01:12:17,801 --> 01:12:19,419
You're not?
1263
01:12:21,079 --> 01:12:23,212
Do you think I should be?
1264
01:12:24,392 --> 01:12:26,184
You have a thing for Lisa now!
1265
01:12:26,404 --> 01:12:28,020
No, I don't.
1266
01:12:28,020 --> 01:12:33,199
Dave. Her boobs are so big. They're too big.
1267
01:12:33,499 --> 01:12:38,832
Just because I don't think she's a threat doesn't mean she's not a threat. You could be totally attracted to her.
1268
01:12:38,912 --> 01:12:40,917
(Dave sighs)
1269
01:12:42,957 --> 01:12:44,984
You think she's hot!
1270
01:12:45,004 --> 01:12:47,741
You loved making out with her. Did you do more than kiss?
1271
01:12:47,741 --> 01:12:49,118
No.
1272
01:12:49,118 --> 01:12:51,219
Did you wish you did more than kiss?
1273
01:12:51,919 --> 01:12:54,629
Wha--it's--why is that even--
1274
01:12:54,629 --> 01:12:56,589
Oh my god!
1275
01:12:56,749 --> 01:12:58,902
I'm so jealous, I could scream.
1276
01:12:58,902 --> 01:13:01,608
I could totally freak out right now.
1277
01:13:02,228 --> 01:13:03,594
Oh my god.
1278
01:13:03,594 --> 01:13:06,480
She has a great body, doesn't she?
1279
01:13:07,020 --> 01:13:09,643
Are you--you really want me to answer that?
1280
01:13:09,643 --> 01:13:12,762
YES. Do you think she has a good body?
1281
01:13:12,762 --> 01:13:14,206
Unh--
1282
01:13:15,556 --> 01:13:17,890
Maybe? I don't--this is stupid--
1283
01:13:17,890 --> 01:13:20,176
How can you say that to me?!
1284
01:13:20,436 --> 01:13:22,563
All I said was 'maybe'!
1285
01:13:22,733 --> 01:13:24,589
Oh my god!
1286
01:13:24,769 --> 01:13:28,615
She has a good figure and I'm a short-waisted freak!
1287
01:13:30,045 --> 01:13:32,861
You are not a short-waisted freak.
1288
01:13:36,389 --> 01:13:39,778
If you were innocent, you would just tell me what you did.
1289
01:13:39,778 --> 01:13:43,517
The fact that you won't tell me what you did means you're guilty of something!
1290
01:13:43,517 --> 01:13:45,697
We signed a contract for exactly this reason.
1291
01:13:45,697 --> 01:13:48,083
You know what's weird?
1292
01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:52,364
You haven't asked what Ginger and I did. Because it hasn't even occurred to you--
1293
01:13:52,364 --> 01:13:55,365
because you're so consumed by thoughts of Brad!
1294
01:13:55,365 --> 01:13:57,867
What did you do? Tell me what you did!
1295
01:14:04,767 --> 01:14:09,896
So, what, I'm just--I'm just supposed to go around wondering what you did for the rest of my life?
1296
01:14:09,896 --> 01:14:14,351
Yeah. Just like I'll always wonder what you did with that girl, Jennifer, from work.
1297
01:14:14,351 --> 01:14:18,977
Oh, I knew you were going to play that card. That happened eight years ago.
1298
01:14:21,217 --> 01:14:24,177
It feels like yesterday.
1299
01:14:24,517 --> 01:14:25,559
(Music plays)
1300
01:14:25,559 --> 01:14:28,682
You can't. Try all you want, but you're not going to.
1301
01:14:28,682 --> 01:14:30,718
Let me love you. Let me love you!
1302
01:14:30,718 --> 01:14:32,091
(Michelle) No!
1303
01:14:32,321 --> 01:14:33,492
(Michelle) Stop. You're too--
1304
01:14:33,492 --> 01:14:34,480
Okay, just give up.
1305
01:14:34,480 --> 01:14:35,211
No!
1306
01:14:35,211 --> 01:14:35,983
(Dave) Just give up!
1307
01:14:35,983 --> 01:14:37,165
No!
1308
01:14:43,765 --> 01:14:46,707
I wanna read that script he sold.
1309
01:14:48,407 --> 01:14:52,845
It's weird. There's so many people out there.
1310
01:14:54,465 --> 01:14:57,023
But there's no one like you.
1311
01:15:01,803 --> 01:15:04,552
Please give me another chance.
1312
01:15:05,932 --> 01:15:08,718
I don't know if I can get over it.
1313
01:15:08,718 --> 01:15:12,867
Tell me what to do to make this right. I'll do anything.
1314
01:15:16,247 --> 01:15:21,532
You know, the obvious thing is that you get a free pass.
1315
01:15:21,812 --> 01:15:23,067
(Ginger laughs)
1316
01:15:23,067 --> 01:15:26,272
You get to cheat on me. Once. Whenever you want.
1317
01:15:28,162 --> 01:15:31,484
I would argue that that kid, Brad, counts for something.
1318
01:15:31,484 --> 01:15:34,566
Because I know you had better sex with him than I did with the actress.
1319
01:15:34,566 --> 01:15:39,540
Well, I'm sorry that you didn't fully enjoy yourself when you were cheating on me.
1320
01:15:59,940 --> 01:16:01,183
Tense up.
1321
01:16:01,583 --> 01:16:02,345
What?
1322
01:16:02,345 --> 01:16:03,604
Just tense your stomach muscles up.
1323
01:16:03,604 --> 01:16:04,178
I don't--
1324
01:16:04,178 --> 01:16:05,158
Go ahead, do it.
1325
01:16:05,158 --> 01:16:07,023
I don't understand--oh!
1326
01:16:07,023 --> 01:16:08,038
Ow!
1327
01:16:08,038 --> 01:16:10,235
(Music plays)
1328
01:16:28,721 --> 01:16:33,806
From this point forward, I won't bring up Brad and you won't bring up Jennifer.
1329
01:16:35,046 --> 01:16:37,236
Okay.
1330
01:16:41,426 --> 01:16:43,613
Something's changed.
1331
01:16:43,883 --> 01:16:45,256
What do you mean?
1332
01:16:45,256 --> 01:16:48,332
I don't know. It's like you're not as invested.
1333
01:16:50,002 --> 01:16:52,714
I'm invested.
1334
01:16:55,764 --> 01:16:58,716
What are you doing? You always stay up and work.
1335
01:16:58,716 --> 01:17:01,403
Not tonight. We gotta have sex.
1336
01:17:02,533 --> 01:17:05,701
I gotta try to make you forget about that kid.
1337
01:17:06,891 --> 01:17:08,749
Who shall remain nameless.
1338
01:17:09,569 --> 01:17:12,089
I didn't get to do anything.
1339
01:17:12,089 --> 01:17:16,139
Everybody got to do something except for me.
1340
01:17:16,399 --> 01:17:18,590
(Music plays)
1341
01:18:51,436 --> 01:18:53,329
Prescriptions? For what?
1342
01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:58,543
You name it. High blood pressure, reflux, hair loss, anxiety--the guy is falling apart.
1343
01:18:58,543 --> 01:19:02,174
The price of success. You know, he's under a lot of pressure.
1344
01:19:02,174 --> 01:19:05,531
Yeah, maybe that's what we're in for when we get to where we wanna be, huh?
1345
01:19:05,531 --> 01:19:08,184
No, no, we'll be different. We'll handle it better.
1346
01:19:08,184 --> 01:19:09,170
Ah, right.
1347
01:19:09,170 --> 01:19:11,453
Stay grounded, keep our priorities straight--
1348
01:19:11,453 --> 01:19:14,591
(Ryan) Right. Maybe the guy's just not good at handling stress.
1349
01:19:14,591 --> 01:19:18,063
Yeah. We'll handle it better.
1350
01:19:18,063 --> 01:19:19,364
I feel for him.
1351
01:19:19,364 --> 01:19:20,703
Yeah?
1352
01:19:20,703 --> 01:19:22,555
(Ryan) Mm-hm.
1353
01:19:26,137 --> 01:19:28,301
(Music plays)
1354
01:19:28,721 --> 01:19:30,394
Bye.
1355
01:19:49,064 --> 01:19:52,673
Okay. Alright. I'll call you when I get there. Thanks. Bye.
1356
01:19:53,933 --> 01:19:56,337
Ginger told me to tell you thanks.
1357
01:19:56,337 --> 01:19:57,558
For what?
1358
01:19:57,558 --> 01:20:00,996
She said you were kind to her last night.
1359
01:20:06,603 --> 01:20:08,666
Let's call Oliver.
1360
01:20:11,496 --> 01:20:13,778
We can't screw up again.
1361
01:20:14,798 --> 01:20:16,188
YOU can't.
1362
01:20:16,188 --> 01:20:18,790
I won't. I'm not going to.
1363
01:20:18,790 --> 01:20:22,926
We can't put him through that again.
1364
01:20:23,516 --> 01:20:25,555
We won't.
1365
01:20:32,165 --> 01:20:34,574
The girls all think you're really attractive.
1366
01:20:34,574 --> 01:20:36,269
They do?
1367
01:20:37,539 --> 01:20:40,084
Well, what'd they say, exactly?
1368
01:20:40,214 --> 01:20:42,631
That you have sex appeal.
1369
01:20:43,251 --> 01:20:46,418
They think you're great. They love you.
1370
01:20:49,328 --> 01:20:51,817
What's the matter? What's wrong?
1371
01:20:55,077 --> 01:20:56,182
I'm sorry...
1372
01:20:56,732 --> 01:20:58,007
For what?
1373
01:20:58,237 --> 01:21:02,406
It's, just, I know I can be short-tempered and--
1374
01:21:03,270 --> 01:21:04,800
Well, you get no sleep.
1375
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:07,822
You're walking around totally sleep-deprived.
1376
01:21:07,822 --> 01:21:10,344
And here you're trying to write, and mastermind everything--
1377
01:21:10,344 --> 01:21:11,998
where the kids are going to go to school,
1378
01:21:11,998 --> 01:21:14,694
and what's the best pediatrician for them to go to,
1379
01:21:14,694 --> 01:21:17,190
and whether or not they're going to get flu shots...
1380
01:21:17,190 --> 01:21:23,527
You're an amazing mom. And I'm no help. I mean, I'm lame. I don't do anything compared to you.
1381
01:21:25,377 --> 01:21:27,536
Thank you.
1382
01:21:28,416 --> 01:21:32,945
That's all I wanted to hear--just the acknowledgement, you know?
1383
01:21:36,095 --> 01:21:38,708
We should go out. Once a week.
1384
01:21:39,428 --> 01:21:43,191
Just the two of us. I don't care what it costs, we have to do it.
1385
01:21:43,191 --> 01:21:45,284
Okay.
1386
01:21:47,584 --> 01:21:50,638
Do you remember what Antonio Banderas said?
1387
01:21:51,058 --> 01:21:54,052
"A relationship is like a fire."
1388
01:21:56,012 --> 01:22:00,388
"You have to throw wood on it to keep it going."
1389
01:22:01,028 --> 01:22:02,702
(in Spanish) Si.
1390
01:22:08,379 --> 01:22:09,639
(Ryan) I've been thinking about New York.
1391
01:22:09,639 --> 01:22:11,044
(Bree) Really?
1392
01:22:11,044 --> 01:22:14,846
Yeah. For a writer, it's the best place to live.
1393
01:22:14,846 --> 01:22:20,440
You know, you overhear the most interesting conversations that you would never hear in L.A.
1394
01:22:22,100 --> 01:22:26,563
I don't know. I know that Manhattan is crazy expensive--
1395
01:22:26,683 --> 01:22:29,174
The air quality is terrible--
1396
01:22:29,174 --> 01:22:33,029
Right. But what if, deep down inside, you believe that it's the only place to live?
1397
01:22:33,929 --> 01:22:36,455
Is that what you think?
1398
01:22:36,455 --> 01:22:38,980
Maybe.
1399
01:22:40,240 --> 01:22:42,157
Me, too.
1400
01:22:42,157 --> 01:22:48,184
Let's go. I mean, I could easily leave, you know? I'm serious.
1401
01:22:48,184 --> 01:22:53,740
I mean, I love our friends, but... I could walk away.
1402
01:22:56,390 --> 01:22:57,967
We can't move.
1403
01:22:57,967 --> 01:23:01,027
Yeah. Not yet.
1404
01:23:01,027 --> 01:23:04,256
I gotta be out here for meetings and stuff.
1405
01:23:06,806 --> 01:23:10,105
Dave and Michelle are hosting the next dinner.
1406
01:23:12,275 --> 01:23:13,596
Should be fun.
1407
01:23:13,806 --> 01:23:15,707
Yeah. Should be.
1408
01:23:17,177 --> 01:23:18,408
(Music plays)
105592
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