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1
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,176
ANNOUNCER: The Assassination
of Gianni Versace.
2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,744
Premieres Wednesday,
January 17 on FX.
3
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,750
FXX presents You're the Worst.
4
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,856
*
5
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,875
Jimmy?
6
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,122
Jimmy?
7
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,630
(sobbing)
8
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,642
*
9
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,064
Hello, you.
10
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:37,998
Where are you going?
11
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,833
I thought you were gone.
12
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,669
-I was.
-I thought you left.
13
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,571
I did. To get us...
14
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,838
Oh.
15
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,640
No, no, no, no, no. I just...
16
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:47,941
I just went to get provisions.
17
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,077
But I could see
how you'd think, you know,
18
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,612
given history...
19
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,781
But no, silly, I'm here.
20
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,783
So, I was thinking maybe later
21
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,117
we could go for a ride
22
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,587
and revisit
some of our favorite activities.
23
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,021
Get Chinese food,
hit the movies.
24
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,491
Secret pinball arcade.
25
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,426
Maybe some micheladas
26
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,495
and "you dropped something"
in the park.
27
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,670
Were you crying?
28
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,138
-I want to go.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
29
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,608
What?
I-I didn't leave this time.
30
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,109
Gretchen, I didn't leave.
31
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,478
Just got pain au chocolat.
32
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,714
Exactly.
You can't even get breakfast
33
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,782
without me thinking
that you've bailed again.
34
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,118
I have spent my entire life
35
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,822
pretending that all this
is a force field
36
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,957
that stops things
from penetrating.
37
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,627
But no one chooses me, Jimmy!
38
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,629
Not in the end.
39
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,131
In the end,
no one ever fights for me.
40
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,467
So, because I went
to get croissants
41
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,469
filled with goddamn chocolate
for you
42
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,137
and was gonna lay in bed
with you,
43
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,072
eating chocolate for breakfast
44
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,741
because I wanted you to wake up
45
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,143
to something special
and delicious,
46
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,547
and still you lay this shit
at my feet?
47
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,081
Make sure you want to go here.
48
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,884
I have apologized!
49
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,919
I've waited.
50
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:09,657
I've sat idly by
while you did whatever
51
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,025
because you were wronged by me.
True.
52
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,995
But this goddamn vacillation,
Gretchen.
53
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,830
Enough is enough.
54
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,766
I didn't do anything this time.
55
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,768
Yep. You're right.
56
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,503
You win.
57
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,005
See, Jimmy?
You don't really need me.
58
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,775
Why don't you go do
all that fun stuff without me.
59
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:31,545
Deep down, I think you like
being alone more, anyway.
60
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,247
Yep, you're right. Maybe I do.
61
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:52,266
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
62
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,536
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
63
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,904
* Gonna leave you anyway.
64
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,048
-DUTCH: Oh, yeah, yeah.
-MAX: Oh, I get it.
65
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,552
-Really? -I mean,
if those speakers cost 20 Gs,
66
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,554
they better look so hot,
I want to stick my dick in 'em.
67
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,722
-Yeah.
-(chuckles)
68
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,557
But, like, respectfully.
69
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,559
So, you can
put your dick in them.
70
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,960
See, I knew those guys
at Guitar Center
71
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,228
had no right to kick me out.
72
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,964
-Maximus.
-E-dawg.
73
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,265
We're doing nicknames now?
74
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:28,268
If so, I call Dutch Oven.
75
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,738
Wait. No. Can I change mine?
76
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,839
Sorry I missed your calls
last night.
77
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,106
Got stuck on Skype
78
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,975
with a buddy
who's going through a thing.
79
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,076
Was it Brent? (gasps)
80
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,244
Did something happen
with Snoober?
81
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,579
Did they run out of snow?
82
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,280
Nah, it's... Different guy.
83
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,583
Um...
84
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,751
did you talk to Doug?
85
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,953
Yeah, such a bummer
that he split us up.
86
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,621
Bosses, right?
87
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,757
This is just like that movie
Horrible Bosses:
88
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,191
very disappointing.
89
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,662
(laughs) Hey, so, tonight,
you want to check out
90
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,263
Pharrell's sneaker pop-up?
91
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,298
It's in this Mexican church that
used to be a crepe restaurant.
92
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,701
Doug has me on a crazy deadline.
I'm probs here all night.
93
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,802
-(sighs)
-All right, Edgar.
94
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,971
Cool beans. Stay frosty.
95
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,607
-Yeah.
-Look at this one.
96
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,141
-Let's do it.
-20 thou?
97
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,644
Click your dick in it.
98
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,016
LINDSAY:
Oh, no.
99
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,117
You have dead face.
100
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,787
Ooh, do not sit on this couch!
101
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,121
Or you'll never get up.
102
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,790
Baby booze.
103
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,892
You bone a pilot again?
104
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,860
I slept with Jimmy last night.
105
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,297
What?! So, what does this mean?
106
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,265
Are you with Boone,
or are you with Jimmy?
107
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,302
Gretchen, you have to stop this.
108
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,706
Sleeping with more
than one person is wrong.
109
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,743
(both laugh)
110
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,647
Oh, so, what are you gonna do?
111
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,816
Oh, who knows
what's gonna happen?
112
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,351
We'll just have to see
what the universe sends my way.
113
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,887
"The universe"?
Who are you, Stephen Hawking?
114
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,158
(claps)
115
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,894
Anyway, you can't just let
things happen to you.
116
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,062
(phone buzzes and chimes)
117
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,834
Ha! Olivia just texted me
118
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,669
it's taco night.
119
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,038
I guess the universe
just brought me tacos.
120
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,073
Boone's daughter texts you?
121
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,241
Yeah, all the time.
122
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,209
Look, she dressed her Bitmoji up
123
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,911
to look like me. Little dummy.
124
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,180
This is why
125
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,249
you actually need
to make up your mind.
126
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,184
Don't you see?
You're her La Bamba.
127
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,186
That hunky dillhole
128
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,855
broke my dumb little heart
making me think
129
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,890
he was gonna be my forever papa.
130
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,192
He promised to teach me
how to swim and then, boom.
131
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,694
He just disappeared,
132
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,729
and I had to learn
by watching the dog.
133
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,031
Is that why you shake every time
you get out of the pool?
134
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,700
Gretchen,
you have to break up with Boone
135
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,034
before you mess up Olivia.
136
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,037
This is not like
all the other guys you've boned.
137
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,206
We're talking about
a little girl's life here.
138
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,241
Stop worrying about a kid
you met for 30 seconds
139
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,944
and think about me,
your best friend,
140
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,046
and how maybe I deserve this
141
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,784
after a lifetime of being
everyone's "hit it and quit it."
142
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,318
I don't know
what's gonna happen with Boone
143
00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,787
or his daughter or his cat
144
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,288
or his goddamn goldfish,
145
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:05,058
but, for once, Gretchen
is putting herself first.
146
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,728
So, I'm telling you,
back the hell off.
147
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,497
"For once"?
148
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,244
Oh, excuse me.
149
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,779
You dropped something.
150
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,182
(chuckles)
151
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,757
Oh, you dropped something.
152
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,826
-(panting): I did? -Yeah.
153
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,094
It's, uh... it's, uh,
it's right back there.
154
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,930
-(laughs)
-What was it?
155
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,965
-What? -What did I drop?
What did it look like?
156
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,468
It was... bluish.
157
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,171
-Did I actually drop something?
-Yes.
158
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,109
No. It's just
a funny joke that...
159
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,445
It's funny to stop people
160
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,447
who are actually exercising,
161
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,949
trying to elongate their lives
162
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,383
so they can stick around
for their families
163
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,018
and the people who need them?
164
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,454
And you sit here drinking
in the middle of the day
165
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,989
and you lie to them!
166
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,358
That's funny to you?!
167
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,893
Yes.
168
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,863
You dropped something.
169
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,865
-Oh. Okay.
-(chuckles) Pick it up.
170
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,800
But I don't want it anymore.
171
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,368
Pick it up!
172
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,476
-Now run.
-Huh? What?
173
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,511
(Jimmy whimpers)
174
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,516
Okay, so, "pedo" means "fart."
175
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,553
And "pedo mojad means
"fart with sauce."
176
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:43,390
Now, "Tu madre es una puta"
177
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,925
means, uh...
178
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:48,896
Well, it means that your mother
works at night.
179
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,198
¿Tu madre es una puta?
180
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,432
You got it.
181
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,533
(knocking on door)
182
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,869
LINDSAY:
Hello?
183
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,104
Hello. It's me, Lindsay.
184
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,840
(laughing):
Taco night!
185
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,243
I'm so excited.
I brought "Patron"
186
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,345
and some limes for margaritas.
187
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,881
-Lindsay, I didn't know you
were coming. -LINDSAY: What?
188
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:12,052
I'm morgue-ified. Gretchen, you
forgot you invited me, you spaz.
189
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,187
No sweat.
I'll just set another plate.
190
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,523
(whispering):
What the hell are you doing?
191
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,859
Making sure you don't
ruin this kid.
192
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,428
It's bad enough
she's so not cute.
193
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,463
She doesn't need
some selfish adult
194
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,465
giving her abandonment issues
on top of everything else.
195
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,200
I'm gonna set you on fire.
196
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,904
Try it, short-round.
197
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,040
Want Auntie Lindsay to show you
how to do your hair
198
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,541
to minimize...
199
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,210
-help your face?
-Okay.
200
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,879
Tacos are ready. Let's chow.
201
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,481
Shit, yeah! Hard shells.
202
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,254
-WOMAN: Bye, Max.
-See ya. -Later.
203
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,125
Mmm.
204
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,930
-* Ladies and gentlemen *
-* Yeah
205
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,901
* One thousand
206
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,436
* Biz busy on the boards
207
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,439
* Mm-hmm
208
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,275
* Nah, they tired of waitin,'
they say *
209
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,177
* Crae, you sold your soul, man,
your soul, man *
210
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,313
* For real? Who bought it?
211
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,115
* Let the Spirit
take control, man *
212
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,150
* Control, man, control, man
213
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,020
* I don't go nowhere
without Him *
214
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,621
* They scared that I'm-a cause
these babies to stumble *
215
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,490
* They scared that my integrity
is gon' crumble *
216
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,492
* Appreciate the prayers,
but all that pressure *
217
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,094
* Either gon' make you humble
218
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,662
* Or make you hang out on
the sidelines *
219
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,264
* And fear you gon' fumble,
put me in, coach *
220
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,934
* Ain't out here flexin' for
nobody, I was born to do it *
221
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,602
* God don't make mistakes
and say I'm sorry *
222
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,104
* He ain't never dropped
the ball *
223
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,505
* I don't never plan to fumble
224
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,107
* Catch me runnin'
with them lions *
225
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,142
* Reggie Bushin'
in the jungle... *
226
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,978
(indistinct chatter
and laughing)
227
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,014
*
228
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,556
DUTCH:
Mmm.
229
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,125
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
230
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,526
Bro.
231
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,995
-What are you doing here?
-Don't "bro" me.
232
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,396
Why are you feeding ravioli
to Dutch?
233
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,299
Oh, actually,
just one is a raviolo.
234
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,635
I know that! Why would you think
I don't know that?
235
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,070
I thought you were
working all night.
236
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,005
I am.
Dutch and I are researching
237
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,241
a cooking class sketch for Doug.
238
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,143
Nothing funny has happened yet,
239
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,378
but that couple over there
is clearly here
240
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,481
as a Hail Mary
before their divorce.
241
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,583
Look, Doug wanted me to keep
this on the DL,
242
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,052
but he asked me to mentor Dutch.
243
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,988
He's a terrible receptionist,
244
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,723
but Doug's too nice
to fire anyone,
245
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,992
so he wants to transition him
into being a writer.
246
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,693
So...
247
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:37,230
you and Dutch aren't just
hanging out for fun?
248
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,032
Come on, like I'd hang out
with this doof?
249
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,001
Ha. Yeah.
250
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,435
Wait, what?
251
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,005
Okay, well, um... Hey, you want
to kick it tomorrow?
252
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,741
Bringing Dutch up to speed is
gonna be an all-consuming task.
253
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,576
I won't be able to hang
for a while.
254
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,712
But I know Doug.
255
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,681
Pretty soon
he'll get distracted.
256
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,284
He'll start his training
for the U.S. Archery Team
257
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,552
or writing his column
for Mother Jones,
258
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,221
and we'll be back together.
259
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,023
Okay, yeah.
260
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,325
-Sorry for being weird.
-It's okay.
261
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,461
DUTCH:
Okay, new theory:
262
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,030
That's actually his mistress.
263
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,532
See how he's got a ring on
but she doesn't?
264
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,134
Oh, shit.
265
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,769
Little Dutch Boy strikes again.
266
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,105
Yes. Great nickname.
267
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,140
Yeah.
268
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:29,783
-(indistinct shouting in movie)
-Ah. Come on.
269
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,056
That is ridiculous.
270
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,391
Why would the robot
play football?
271
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,061
Tackling a human would violate
the first law of robotics.
272
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,296
-Shh.
-Oh, d...
273
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,499
-J...
-(woman sighs)
274
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,469
Sorry.
275
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,504
(shouting in movie)
276
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,578
So, when I first moved to L.A.,
277
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,281
this dude told me
that the Griffith Observatory
278
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,749
was Alex Trebek's house.
279
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,085
-Mm.
-I believed him for years.
280
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,820
I can't tell you
how many people I told,
281
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,822
-"That's Alex Trebek's house."
-GRETCHEN: Trebek sucks.
282
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,124
Pat and Vanna forever.
283
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,760
You love Wheel, don't you, Liv?
284
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,628
Always select the "T" first.
285
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,265
The most commonly used letters
spell out "eat irons."
286
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,500
Solve the puzzle as soon
as you know it,
287
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,170
and spinning for extra thousands
isn't worth the risk.
288
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,538
-Good girl.
-All right, girlie.
289
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:26,773
Bedtime for Bonzo.
290
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,575
Ten more minutes.
291
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,113
Fine.
292
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,682
All right, I have to oversee
this bedtime situation,
293
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,818
or she'll sit on the toilet and
read till her butt falls off.
294
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,722
-(whispering): Nerd. -Lindsay,
I'm so glad you came over.
295
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,391
-You can really house
some tacos. -Thanks.
296
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,326
I taught myself how to breathe
through my nose
297
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,695
-so I could chew longer.
-(Lindsay and Boone laugh)
298
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,502
Good night, Gretchen.
299
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,703
BOONE:
All right, come on.
300
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,139
See?
301
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,309
Everything's fine.
Everyone's healthy.
302
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,578
We're just hanging out
(whispering): like people.
303
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,380
You were right. I'm sorry.
304
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,150
It's just, you're here so often,
I got jealous.
305
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,819
But, honestly, seeing the two
of you together...
306
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,687
is really cute.
307
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,359
Well, I'm out.
Priscilla's really laying on
308
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,728
the night work lately.
309
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,700
Hey... I love you.
310
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,169
I love you, too.
311
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,703
Thank you for trusting me.
312
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220
(sighs)
313
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,191
BOY:
Hey, Jimmy.
314
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:55,528
And my hallucinations are Irish.
Perfect.
315
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,265
No, Spirit.
316
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,800
I'm not the racist Shive-Overly
you're after.
317
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,402
You'll find old Ronnie's ashes
318
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,504
spread over Tony Shalhoub's
succulents.
319
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,808
Neighbor boy.
320
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,443
We all figured you for dead.
321
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,212
Turns out my missing dad's
been here
322
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,713
at O'Callaghan's
this whole time.
323
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,883
So now I'm working nights
to pay off his bar tab.
324
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,953
Life's tough,
but it'll be over eventually.
325
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,554
How've you been, Jimmy?
326
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:25,225
Life is a festering wound,
my boy.
327
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,893
You enjoy your youth.
328
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,462
It's all downhill from here.
329
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,798
Oh, no. It gets worse?
330
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,778
Thanks, Jimmy.
331
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,787
I got my car booze.
332
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,991
You're lucky
I keep it handy now.
333
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,467
I came back to town
to face the music.
334
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,802
But it didn't want to face me.
335
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,306
Let's go play pinball.
336
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,674
Bah.
337
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,280
Hello, Edgar.
338
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315
Not today, Satan.
339
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,885
*
340
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,821
-What?!
-Shh...!
341
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,623
I'm a grouch.
342
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,958
Why are you in my trash?
343
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,493
I have to tell you something.
344
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,495
You have to break up
with Gretchen.
345
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,530
-What? Why?
-For Olivia.
346
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,633
I saw how she was looking at
Gretchen tonight. She loves her.
347
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,702
And Gretchen is
such a toxic need-ball.
348
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,737
She's just gonna keep getting
closer and closer,
349
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,806
and one day she's gonna realize
350
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,708
you're actually kind of basic,
351
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,644
and she'll disappear, and you'll
start dating John Stamos...
352
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,879
-John Stamos?
-And it's going
353
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,647
to break
Olivia's little fool heart.
354
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,016
Her heart is going to break.
355
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,486
I'm sorry, but your girlfriend's
not a solid person.
356
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,687
I know that.
357
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,522
She barely showers.
358
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,325
And she steals Olivia's desserts
from her lunch box.
359
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,826
But I like her.
360
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,329
And she likes me.
And I know
361
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,065
what I'm getting into,
because I'm an adult.
362
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,501
And you're a girl
in a trash can.
363
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,471
And you don't know anything
about our relationship.
364
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,941
Well, there's one thing
you don know:
365
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,943
Gretchen's not over Jimmy.
366
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,013
He could pick up the phone,
367
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,116
and she'd be at his house
in two seconds.
368
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,819
Get out of my trash and go home.
369
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,789
*
370
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:56,042
-Do you have taco meat
in your mouth? -No.
371
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,111
Move in with me.
372
00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,712
(swallows)
373
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,649
(trembling):
Um... okay.
374
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,485
(Gretchen gasps)
375
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,621
(both laugh softly)
376
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,426
*
377
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,798
JIMMY:
Los Angeles is dead.
378
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,734
It's a quartz mausoleum
of vape shops,
379
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,436
YouTube Red billboards
380
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,904
and poke restaurants.
381
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,807
And, as I discovered
so viscerally today,
382
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,443
everything that used to be fun
is no longer so.
383
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,146
You think maybe
it's Gretchen? Like...
384
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,615
after her, you now
can't enjoy it without her?
385
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,016
They're offering me
a multi-book deal,
386
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,118
writing the Peach Quadrilogy.
387
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,521
Luckily, I can write anywhere.
388
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,927
I told you, Edgar,
the city is ruined for me.
389
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,929
It's time to go.
390
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,098
Whoa.
391
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,467
Are you gonna tell Gretchen?
392
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,603
Nope. She's done with me,
393
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,538
and she doesn't care anymore.
394
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,812
I don't want you to go,
but I won't try to stop you.
395
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,984
Thank you.
396
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,120
In the Paktika Province,
I was supposed to go AWOL
397
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,955
with my battle buddy Bowe,
but...
398
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,525
he ditched me
while I was in the crapper.
399
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,862
Everyone goes away eventually.
400
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,636
And now I'm losing Max.
401
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,639
That dainty little worm-boy
with the tiny mustache?
402
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,642
Doug split us up.
403
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,212
I should just find
a new partner.
404
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,881
Unless you think
I should talk to Doug about it.
405
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,483
Listen, Edgar,
406
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,653
the only person you
can truly rely on is yourself.
407
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,588
My best advice would be
408
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,725
to accept your new reality
and... move on.
409
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,867
Also, my thanking you
for not trying to stop me
410
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,169
is in no way an admission
that you could stop me,
411
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,705
as you have no influence
over my actions whatsoever.
412
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,973
Obviously.
413
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,192
Bro, I think you left
the pizza in your car.
414
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,561
No, I'm-I'm not the pizza guy.
415
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,731
Doug, it's me, Edgar.
416
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,199
I work for you.
417
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,134
Marketing?
418
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,603
Nano Communications?
419
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,638
(whispers):
Black Ops?
420
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,608
Oh, right, the show.
421
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,776
-Guido Baby guy.
-Listen, I came to,
422
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,545
uh, tell you that...
423
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,047
(exhales)
you're ruining my life.
424
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,917
-Oh, no. -I've never had
a friend like Max.
425
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,720
He's the only person who's
ever treated me like an equal.
426
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,222
He sees something in me
I didn't know was there.
427
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,224
And just when
we were really getting
428
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,126
to that next level of intimacy,
429
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,828
you split us up!
I mean...
430
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,597
are you really so threatened
by our talent?
431
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,933
(trembling exhale)
432
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,569
Edgar...
433
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,639
I am so ashamed.
434
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,741
You get to a certain point
in your career
435
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,975
where you think you're safe,
436
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,578
and then one day, inevitably,
437
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,914
you look up and see Mozart
in the rearview mirror...
438
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,650
and you realize:
439
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:27,086
Holy shit, I'm Salieri!
440
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,590
Your scary talent
has me so spooked
441
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,993
that I've been punishing you
when I should be elevating you.
442
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,028
Well, I-I didn't mean it
like that.
443
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,630
Not another word.
444
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,265
I'm giving you a promotion.
445
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,634
Now, I don't want you
to freak out,
446
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,771
but hell, kid, you deserve it.
447
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,005
Edgar...
448
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,641
you're the on-set writer now.
449
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,677
What?! Oh, my G...
450
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:52,211
Wow. Thank you.
451
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,714
Uh, but what about Max?
452
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,282
Max isn't ready.
453
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,884
You are.
454
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,352
Great. Okay.
455
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,354
I will not let you down.
456
00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:03,222
When do I start?
457
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,858
Right now. That
Inappropriate Gravedigger sketch
458
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,894
you wrote for Paul F. Tompkins?
459
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,962
-Mm-hmm. -I'm shooting it
overnight in Downey.
460
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,899
-Mm.
-So take the 710 to the 105,
461
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,301
look for the yellow signs.
462
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,904
So brave of you
to show up at my house
463
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:21,240
at 9:00 on a weeknight
to yell at me about your job.
464
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,210
You're gonna go far in this town
465
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,345
with that kind
of political savvy.
466
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,418
DOUG:
Tova! Pizza's here!
467
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,726
(snoring softly)
468
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,701
(snoring continues)
469
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,882
*
470
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,770
*
471
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:27,239
* In spite of being
472
00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:29,976
* So late
473
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,244
* To the game
474
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,382
* I won't
475
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,751
* Fight fate
476
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:42,054
* It's now
477
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,924
* Too late
478
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,392
* The binds
479
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,395
* That break and shatter off
480
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:52,398
* When you fall down
481
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,433
* From the top
482
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:57,970
* And your heart stops...
483
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,410
* Used to be
484
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,446
* The one
485
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,483
* That knew me
486
00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,452
* Saw through me
487
00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:17,089
* Used to be
488
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:20,760
* The one
489
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,262
* That
490
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:27,800
* Knew me
491
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:30,436
* You used...
492
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,439
(dog barks)
493
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,511
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
494
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,889
(kisses)
495
00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:55,227
(footsteps echoing)
496
00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:58,531
(gate clanking)
497
00:25:02,769 --> 00:25:06,573
(doorbell ringing loudly)
498
00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:12,211
(doorbell ringing continues)
499
00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:13,412
ANNOUNCER: Baskets.
500
00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:16,082
Premieres Tuesday, January 23
on FX.
34736
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