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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,176 ANNOUNCER: The Assassination of Gianni Versace. 2 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,744 Premieres Wednesday, January 17 on FX. 3 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,750 FXX presents You're the Worst. 4 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,856 * 5 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,875 Jimmy? 6 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,122 Jimmy? 7 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,630 (sobbing) 8 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,642 * 9 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,064 Hello, you. 10 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:37,998 Where are you going? 11 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,833 I thought you were gone. 12 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,669 -I was. -I thought you left. 13 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,571 I did. To get us... 14 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,838 Oh. 15 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,640 No, no, no, no, no. I just... 16 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:47,941 I just went to get provisions. 17 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,077 But I could see how you'd think, you know, 18 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,612 given history... 19 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,781 But no, silly, I'm here. 20 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,783 So, I was thinking maybe later 21 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,117 we could go for a ride 22 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,587 and revisit some of our favorite activities. 23 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,021 Get Chinese food, hit the movies. 24 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,491 Secret pinball arcade. 25 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,426 Maybe some micheladas 26 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,495 and "you dropped something" in the park. 27 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,670 Were you crying? 28 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,138 -I want to go. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 29 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,608 What? I-I didn't leave this time. 30 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,109 Gretchen, I didn't leave. 31 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,478 Just got pain au chocolat. 32 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,714 Exactly. You can't even get breakfast 33 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,782 without me thinking that you've bailed again. 34 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,118 I have spent my entire life 35 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,822 pretending that all this is a force field 36 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,957 that stops things from penetrating. 37 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,627 But no one chooses me, Jimmy! 38 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,629 Not in the end. 39 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,131 In the end, no one ever fights for me. 40 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,467 So, because I went to get croissants 41 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,469 filled with goddamn chocolate for you 42 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,137 and was gonna lay in bed with you, 43 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,072 eating chocolate for breakfast 44 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,741 because I wanted you to wake up 45 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,143 to something special and delicious, 46 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,547 and still you lay this shit at my feet? 47 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,081 Make sure you want to go here. 48 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,884 I have apologized! 49 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,919 I've waited. 50 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:09,657 I've sat idly by while you did whatever 51 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,025 because you were wronged by me. True. 52 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,995 But this goddamn vacillation, Gretchen. 53 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,830 Enough is enough. 54 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,766 I didn't do anything this time. 55 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,768 Yep. You're right. 56 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,503 You win. 57 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,005 See, Jimmy? You don't really need me. 58 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,775 Why don't you go do all that fun stuff without me. 59 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:31,545 Deep down, I think you like being alone more, anyway. 60 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,247 Yep, you're right. Maybe I do. 61 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:52,266 * I'm gonna leave you anyway 62 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,536 * I'm gonna leave you anyway * 63 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,904 * Gonna leave you anyway. 64 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,048 -DUTCH: Oh, yeah, yeah. -MAX: Oh, I get it. 65 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,552 -Really? -I mean, if those speakers cost 20 Gs, 66 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,554 they better look so hot, I want to stick my dick in 'em. 67 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,722 -Yeah. -(chuckles) 68 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,557 But, like, respectfully. 69 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,559 So, you can put your dick in them. 70 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,960 See, I knew those guys at Guitar Center 71 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,228 had no right to kick me out. 72 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,964 -Maximus. -E-dawg. 73 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,265 We're doing nicknames now? 74 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:28,268 If so, I call Dutch Oven. 75 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,738 Wait. No. Can I change mine? 76 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,839 Sorry I missed your calls last night. 77 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,106 Got stuck on Skype 78 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,975 with a buddy who's going through a thing. 79 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,076 Was it Brent? (gasps) 80 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,244 Did something happen with Snoober? 81 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,579 Did they run out of snow? 82 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,280 Nah, it's... Different guy. 83 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,583 Um... 84 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,751 did you talk to Doug? 85 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,953 Yeah, such a bummer that he split us up. 86 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,621 Bosses, right? 87 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,757 This is just like that movie Horrible Bosses: 88 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,191 very disappointing. 89 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,662 (laughs) Hey, so, tonight, you want to check out 90 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,263 Pharrell's sneaker pop-up? 91 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,298 It's in this Mexican church that used to be a crepe restaurant. 92 00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,701 Doug has me on a crazy deadline. I'm probs here all night. 93 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,802 -(sighs) -All right, Edgar. 94 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,971 Cool beans. Stay frosty. 95 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,607 -Yeah. -Look at this one. 96 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,141 -Let's do it. -20 thou? 97 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,644 Click your dick in it. 98 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,016 LINDSAY: Oh, no. 99 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,117 You have dead face. 100 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,787 Ooh, do not sit on this couch! 101 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,121 Or you'll never get up. 102 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,790 Baby booze. 103 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,892 You bone a pilot again? 104 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,860 I slept with Jimmy last night. 105 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,297 What?! So, what does this mean? 106 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,265 Are you with Boone, or are you with Jimmy? 107 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,302 Gretchen, you have to stop this. 108 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,706 Sleeping with more than one person is wrong. 109 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,743 (both laugh) 110 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,647 Oh, so, what are you gonna do? 111 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,816 Oh, who knows what's gonna happen? 112 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,351 We'll just have to see what the universe sends my way. 113 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,887 "The universe"? Who are you, Stephen Hawking? 114 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,158 (claps) 115 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,894 Anyway, you can't just let things happen to you. 116 00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,062 (phone buzzes and chimes) 117 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,834 Ha! Olivia just texted me 118 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,669 it's taco night. 119 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,038 I guess the universe just brought me tacos. 120 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,073 Boone's daughter texts you? 121 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,241 Yeah, all the time. 122 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,209 Look, she dressed her Bitmoji up 123 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,911 to look like me. Little dummy. 124 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,180 This is why 125 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,249 you actually need to make up your mind. 126 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,184 Don't you see? You're her La Bamba. 127 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,186 That hunky dillhole 128 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,855 broke my dumb little heart making me think 129 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,890 he was gonna be my forever papa. 130 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,192 He promised to teach me how to swim and then, boom. 131 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,694 He just disappeared, 132 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,729 and I had to learn by watching the dog. 133 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,031 Is that why you shake every time you get out of the pool? 134 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,700 Gretchen, you have to break up with Boone 135 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,034 before you mess up Olivia. 136 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,037 This is not like all the other guys you've boned. 137 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,206 We're talking about a little girl's life here. 138 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,241 Stop worrying about a kid you met for 30 seconds 139 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,944 and think about me, your best friend, 140 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,046 and how maybe I deserve this 141 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,784 after a lifetime of being everyone's "hit it and quit it." 142 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,318 I don't know what's gonna happen with Boone 143 00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,787 or his daughter or his cat 144 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,288 or his goddamn goldfish, 145 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:05,058 but, for once, Gretchen is putting herself first. 146 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,728 So, I'm telling you, back the hell off. 147 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,497 "For once"? 148 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,244 Oh, excuse me. 149 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,779 You dropped something. 150 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,182 (chuckles) 151 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,757 Oh, you dropped something. 152 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,826 -(panting): I did? -Yeah. 153 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,094 It's, uh... it's, uh, it's right back there. 154 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,930 -(laughs) -What was it? 155 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,965 -What? -What did I drop? What did it look like? 156 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,468 It was... bluish. 157 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,171 -Did I actually drop something? -Yes. 158 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,109 No. It's just a funny joke that... 159 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,445 It's funny to stop people 160 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,447 who are actually exercising, 161 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,949 trying to elongate their lives 162 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,383 so they can stick around for their families 163 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,018 and the people who need them? 164 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,454 And you sit here drinking in the middle of the day 165 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,989 and you lie to them! 166 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,358 That's funny to you?! 167 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,893 Yes. 168 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,863 You dropped something. 169 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,865 -Oh. Okay. -(chuckles) Pick it up. 170 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,800 But I don't want it anymore. 171 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,368 Pick it up! 172 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,476 -Now run. -Huh? What? 173 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,511 (Jimmy whimpers) 174 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,516 Okay, so, "pedo" means "fart." 175 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,553 And "pedo mojad means "fart with sauce." 176 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:43,390 Now, "Tu madre es una puta" 177 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,925 means, uh... 178 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:48,896 Well, it means that your mother works at night. 179 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,198 ¿Tu madre es una puta? 180 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,432 You got it. 181 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,533 (knocking on door) 182 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,869 LINDSAY: Hello? 183 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,104 Hello. It's me, Lindsay. 184 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,840 (laughing): Taco night! 185 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,243 I'm so excited. I brought "Patron" 186 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,345 and some limes for margaritas. 187 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,881 -Lindsay, I didn't know you were coming. -LINDSAY: What? 188 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:12,052 I'm morgue-ified. Gretchen, you forgot you invited me, you spaz. 189 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,187 No sweat. I'll just set another plate. 190 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,523 (whispering): What the hell are you doing? 191 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,859 Making sure you don't ruin this kid. 192 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,428 It's bad enough she's so not cute. 193 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,463 She doesn't need some selfish adult 194 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,465 giving her abandonment issues on top of everything else. 195 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,200 I'm gonna set you on fire. 196 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,904 Try it, short-round. 197 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,040 Want Auntie Lindsay to show you how to do your hair 198 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,541 to minimize... 199 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,210 -help your face? -Okay. 200 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,879 Tacos are ready. Let's chow. 201 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,481 Shit, yeah! Hard shells. 202 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,254 -WOMAN: Bye, Max. -See ya. -Later. 203 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,125 Mmm. 204 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,930 -* Ladies and gentlemen * -* Yeah 205 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,901 * One thousand 206 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,436 * Biz busy on the boards 207 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,439 * Mm-hmm 208 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,275 * Nah, they tired of waitin,' they say * 209 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,177 * Crae, you sold your soul, man, your soul, man * 210 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,313 * For real? Who bought it? 211 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,115 * Let the Spirit take control, man * 212 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,150 * Control, man, control, man 213 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,020 * I don't go nowhere without Him * 214 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,621 * They scared that I'm-a cause these babies to stumble * 215 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,490 * They scared that my integrity is gon' crumble * 216 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,492 * Appreciate the prayers, but all that pressure * 217 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,094 * Either gon' make you humble 218 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,662 * Or make you hang out on the sidelines * 219 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,264 * And fear you gon' fumble, put me in, coach * 220 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,934 * Ain't out here flexin' for nobody, I was born to do it * 221 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,602 * God don't make mistakes and say I'm sorry * 222 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,104 * He ain't never dropped the ball * 223 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,505 * I don't never plan to fumble 224 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,107 * Catch me runnin' with them lions * 225 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,142 * Reggie Bushin' in the jungle... * 226 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,978 (indistinct chatter and laughing) 227 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,014 * 228 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,556 DUTCH: Mmm. 229 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,125 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 230 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,526 Bro. 231 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,995 -What are you doing here? -Don't "bro" me. 232 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,396 Why are you feeding ravioli to Dutch? 233 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,299 Oh, actually, just one is a raviolo. 234 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,635 I know that! Why would you think I don't know that? 235 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,070 I thought you were working all night. 236 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,005 I am. Dutch and I are researching 237 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,241 a cooking class sketch for Doug. 238 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,143 Nothing funny has happened yet, 239 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,378 but that couple over there is clearly here 240 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,481 as a Hail Mary before their divorce. 241 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,583 Look, Doug wanted me to keep this on the DL, 242 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,052 but he asked me to mentor Dutch. 243 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,988 He's a terrible receptionist, 244 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,723 but Doug's too nice to fire anyone, 245 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,992 so he wants to transition him into being a writer. 246 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,693 So... 247 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:37,230 you and Dutch aren't just hanging out for fun? 248 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,032 Come on, like I'd hang out with this doof? 249 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,001 Ha. Yeah. 250 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,435 Wait, what? 251 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,005 Okay, well, um... Hey, you want to kick it tomorrow? 252 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,741 Bringing Dutch up to speed is gonna be an all-consuming task. 253 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,576 I won't be able to hang for a while. 254 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,712 But I know Doug. 255 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,681 Pretty soon he'll get distracted. 256 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,284 He'll start his training for the U.S. Archery Team 257 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,552 or writing his column for Mother Jones, 258 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,221 and we'll be back together. 259 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,023 Okay, yeah. 260 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,325 -Sorry for being weird. -It's okay. 261 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,461 DUTCH: Okay, new theory: 262 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,030 That's actually his mistress. 263 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,532 See how he's got a ring on but she doesn't? 264 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,134 Oh, shit. 265 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,769 Little Dutch Boy strikes again. 266 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,105 Yes. Great nickname. 267 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,140 Yeah. 268 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:29,783 -(indistinct shouting in movie) -Ah. Come on. 269 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,056 That is ridiculous. 270 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,391 Why would the robot play football? 271 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,061 Tackling a human would violate the first law of robotics. 272 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,296 -Shh. -Oh, d... 273 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,499 -J... -(woman sighs) 274 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,469 Sorry. 275 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,504 (shouting in movie) 276 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,578 So, when I first moved to L.A., 277 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,281 this dude told me that the Griffith Observatory 278 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,749 was Alex Trebek's house. 279 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,085 -Mm. -I believed him for years. 280 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,820 I can't tell you how many people I told, 281 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,822 -"That's Alex Trebek's house." -GRETCHEN: Trebek sucks. 282 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,124 Pat and Vanna forever. 283 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,760 You love Wheel, don't you, Liv? 284 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,628 Always select the "T" first. 285 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,265 The most commonly used letters spell out "eat irons." 286 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,500 Solve the puzzle as soon as you know it, 287 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,170 and spinning for extra thousands isn't worth the risk. 288 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,538 -Good girl. -All right, girlie. 289 00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:26,773 Bedtime for Bonzo. 290 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,575 Ten more minutes. 291 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,113 Fine. 292 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,682 All right, I have to oversee this bedtime situation, 293 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,818 or she'll sit on the toilet and read till her butt falls off. 294 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,722 -(whispering): Nerd. -Lindsay, I'm so glad you came over. 295 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,391 -You can really house some tacos. -Thanks. 296 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,326 I taught myself how to breathe through my nose 297 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,695 -so I could chew longer. -(Lindsay and Boone laugh) 298 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,502 Good night, Gretchen. 299 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,703 BOONE: All right, come on. 300 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,139 See? 301 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,309 Everything's fine. Everyone's healthy. 302 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,578 We're just hanging out (whispering): like people. 303 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,380 You were right. I'm sorry. 304 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,150 It's just, you're here so often, I got jealous. 305 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,819 But, honestly, seeing the two of you together... 306 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,687 is really cute. 307 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,359 Well, I'm out. Priscilla's really laying on 308 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,728 the night work lately. 309 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,700 Hey... I love you. 310 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,169 I love you, too. 311 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,703 Thank you for trusting me. 312 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220 (sighs) 313 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,191 BOY: Hey, Jimmy. 314 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:55,528 And my hallucinations are Irish. Perfect. 315 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,265 No, Spirit. 316 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,800 I'm not the racist Shive-Overly you're after. 317 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,402 You'll find old Ronnie's ashes 318 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,504 spread over Tony Shalhoub's succulents. 319 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,808 Neighbor boy. 320 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,443 We all figured you for dead. 321 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,212 Turns out my missing dad's been here 322 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,713 at O'Callaghan's this whole time. 323 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,883 So now I'm working nights to pay off his bar tab. 324 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,953 Life's tough, but it'll be over eventually. 325 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,554 How've you been, Jimmy? 326 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:25,225 Life is a festering wound, my boy. 327 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,893 You enjoy your youth. 328 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,462 It's all downhill from here. 329 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,798 Oh, no. It gets worse? 330 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,778 Thanks, Jimmy. 331 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,787 I got my car booze. 332 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:57,991 You're lucky I keep it handy now. 333 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,467 I came back to town to face the music. 334 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,802 But it didn't want to face me. 335 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,306 Let's go play pinball. 336 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,674 Bah. 337 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,280 Hello, Edgar. 338 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315 Not today, Satan. 339 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,885 * 340 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,821 -What?! -Shh...! 341 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,623 I'm a grouch. 342 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,958 Why are you in my trash? 343 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,493 I have to tell you something. 344 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,495 You have to break up with Gretchen. 345 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,530 -What? Why? -For Olivia. 346 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,633 I saw how she was looking at Gretchen tonight. She loves her. 347 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,702 And Gretchen is such a toxic need-ball. 348 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,737 She's just gonna keep getting closer and closer, 349 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,806 and one day she's gonna realize 350 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,708 you're actually kind of basic, 351 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,644 and she'll disappear, and you'll start dating John Stamos... 352 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,879 -John Stamos? -And it's going 353 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,647 to break Olivia's little fool heart. 354 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,016 Her heart is going to break. 355 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,486 I'm sorry, but your girlfriend's not a solid person. 356 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,687 I know that. 357 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,522 She barely showers. 358 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,325 And she steals Olivia's desserts from her lunch box. 359 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,826 But I like her. 360 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,329 And she likes me. And I know 361 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,065 what I'm getting into, because I'm an adult. 362 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,501 And you're a girl in a trash can. 363 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,471 And you don't know anything about our relationship. 364 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,941 Well, there's one thing you don know: 365 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,943 Gretchen's not over Jimmy. 366 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,013 He could pick up the phone, 367 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,116 and she'd be at his house in two seconds. 368 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,819 Get out of my trash and go home. 369 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,789 * 370 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:56,042 -Do you have taco meat in your mouth? -No. 371 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,111 Move in with me. 372 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,712 (swallows) 373 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,649 (trembling): Um... okay. 374 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,485 (Gretchen gasps) 375 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,621 (both laugh softly) 376 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,426 * 377 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,798 JIMMY: Los Angeles is dead. 378 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,734 It's a quartz mausoleum of vape shops, 379 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,436 YouTube Red billboards 380 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,904 and poke restaurants. 381 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,807 And, as I discovered so viscerally today, 382 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,443 everything that used to be fun is no longer so. 383 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,146 You think maybe it's Gretchen? Like... 384 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,615 after her, you now can't enjoy it without her? 385 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,016 They're offering me a multi-book deal, 386 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,118 writing the Peach Quadrilogy. 387 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,521 Luckily, I can write anywhere. 388 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,927 I told you, Edgar, the city is ruined for me. 389 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,929 It's time to go. 390 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,098 Whoa. 391 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,467 Are you gonna tell Gretchen? 392 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,603 Nope. She's done with me, 393 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,538 and she doesn't care anymore. 394 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,812 I don't want you to go, but I won't try to stop you. 395 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,984 Thank you. 396 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,120 In the Paktika Province, I was supposed to go AWOL 397 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,955 with my battle buddy Bowe, but... 398 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,525 he ditched me while I was in the crapper. 399 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,862 Everyone goes away eventually. 400 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,636 And now I'm losing Max. 401 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,639 That dainty little worm-boy with the tiny mustache? 402 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,642 Doug split us up. 403 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,212 I should just find a new partner. 404 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,881 Unless you think I should talk to Doug about it. 405 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,483 Listen, Edgar, 406 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,653 the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. 407 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,588 My best advice would be 408 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,725 to accept your new reality and... move on. 409 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,867 Also, my thanking you for not trying to stop me 410 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,169 is in no way an admission that you could stop me, 411 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,705 as you have no influence over my actions whatsoever. 412 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,973 Obviously. 413 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,192 Bro, I think you left the pizza in your car. 414 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,561 No, I'm-I'm not the pizza guy. 415 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,731 Doug, it's me, Edgar. 416 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,199 I work for you. 417 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,134 Marketing? 418 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,603 Nano Communications? 419 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,638 (whispers): Black Ops? 420 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,608 Oh, right, the show. 421 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,776 -Guido Baby guy. -Listen, I came to, 422 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,545 uh, tell you that... 423 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,047 (exhales) you're ruining my life. 424 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,917 -Oh, no. -I've never had a friend like Max. 425 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,720 He's the only person who's ever treated me like an equal. 426 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,222 He sees something in me I didn't know was there. 427 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,224 And just when we were really getting 428 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,126 to that next level of intimacy, 429 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,828 you split us up! I mean... 430 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,597 are you really so threatened by our talent? 431 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,933 (trembling exhale) 432 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,569 Edgar... 433 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,639 I am so ashamed. 434 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,741 You get to a certain point in your career 435 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,975 where you think you're safe, 436 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,578 and then one day, inevitably, 437 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,914 you look up and see Mozart in the rearview mirror... 438 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,650 and you realize: 439 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:27,086 Holy shit, I'm Salieri! 440 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,590 Your scary talent has me so spooked 441 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,993 that I've been punishing you when I should be elevating you. 442 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,028 Well, I-I didn't mean it like that. 443 00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,630 Not another word. 444 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,265 I'm giving you a promotion. 445 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,634 Now, I don't want you to freak out, 446 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,771 but hell, kid, you deserve it. 447 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,005 Edgar... 448 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,641 you're the on-set writer now. 449 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,677 What?! Oh, my G... 450 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:52,211 Wow. Thank you. 451 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,714 Uh, but what about Max? 452 00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,282 Max isn't ready. 453 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,884 You are. 454 00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,352 Great. Okay. 455 00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,354 I will not let you down. 456 00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:03,222 When do I start? 457 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,858 Right now. That Inappropriate Gravedigger sketch 458 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,894 you wrote for Paul F. Tompkins? 459 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,962 -Mm-hmm. -I'm shooting it overnight in Downey. 460 00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,899 -Mm. -So take the 710 to the 105, 461 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,301 look for the yellow signs. 462 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,904 So brave of you to show up at my house 463 00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:21,240 at 9:00 on a weeknight to yell at me about your job. 464 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,210 You're gonna go far in this town 465 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,345 with that kind of political savvy. 466 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,418 DOUG: Tova! Pizza's here! 467 00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,726 (snoring softly) 468 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,701 (snoring continues) 469 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,882 * 470 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,770 * 471 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:27,239 * In spite of being 472 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:29,976 * So late 473 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,244 * To the game 474 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,382 * I won't 475 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,751 * Fight fate 476 00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:42,054 * It's now 477 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,924 * Too late 478 00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,392 * The binds 479 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,395 * That break and shatter off 480 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:52,398 * When you fall down 481 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,433 * From the top 482 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:57,970 * And your heart stops... 483 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,410 * Used to be 484 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,446 * The one 485 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,483 * That knew me 486 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,452 * Saw through me 487 00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:17,089 * Used to be 488 00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:20,760 * The one 489 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,262 * That 490 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:27,800 * Knew me 491 00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:30,436 * You used... 492 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,439 (dog barks) 493 00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,511 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 494 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,889 (kisses) 495 00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:55,227 (footsteps echoing) 496 00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:58,531 (gate clanking) 497 00:25:02,769 --> 00:25:06,573 (doorbell ringing loudly) 498 00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:12,211 (doorbell ringing continues) 499 00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:13,412 ANNOUNCER: Baskets. 500 00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:16,082 Premieres Tuesday, January 23 on FX. 34736

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