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1
00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:20,703
(ringtone playing)
2
00:00:28,544 --> 00:00:31,581
*
3
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,921
(whistling breath)
4
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,590
"George Bernard Shaw."
5
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,626
* Let me see the future
6
00:00:43,659 --> 00:00:44,961
(sighs)
7
00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:49,966
* Before I'm gone,
oh, oh, oh, oh *
8
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,771
* Let my friends all die
9
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:58,741
* Before I go,
oh, oh, oh, oh *
10
00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:00,643
(gagging)
11
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:08,518
* 'Cause I'm too old
to die young *
12
00:01:10,753 --> 00:01:16,426
* I can't even
remember being young *
13
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:20,096
* I can't even remember
being young. *
14
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,665
Oh!
15
00:01:22,698 --> 00:01:24,801
Jimbo, you made me
breakfast in bed?
16
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,904
Yeah, right. What have you
done to merit breakfast?
17
00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:29,739
Well, at least
you brought me a mimosa.
18
00:01:29,772 --> 00:01:32,242
Uh, no, that's my
backup. It's stronger.
19
00:01:32,275 --> 00:01:33,810
You might observe,
20
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,246
"Jimmy, how zoetic and
vital you seem today."
21
00:01:36,279 --> 00:01:38,581
"How observant, G-dog,"
22
00:01:38,614 --> 00:01:40,016
I might respond.
23
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,918
For today, I build
my tree house!
24
00:01:41,952 --> 00:01:43,653
You see, during
Vernon's podcast...
25
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:44,921
During what now?
26
00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:46,289
I learned that my father's voice
27
00:01:46,322 --> 00:01:48,091
has been in my head
my entire life.
28
00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:49,792
Dude, I have the same thing,
but with my mom's voice.
29
00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:51,094
It's like she's constant...
30
00:01:51,127 --> 00:01:52,262
Yeah, as I was
saying about myself,
31
00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:54,297
ever since the funeral,
that voice has been
32
00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:55,631
slowly subsiding.
33
00:01:55,665 --> 00:01:58,168
It is my hope
that the final nail
34
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,770
in that tree house will be
the final nail in the coffin
35
00:02:00,803 --> 00:02:03,206
that is my father's influence.
36
00:02:03,239 --> 00:02:04,474
R.I.P., dickhead.
37
00:02:04,507 --> 00:02:05,775
I'm telling you, Gretchen,
38
00:02:05,808 --> 00:02:07,777
now that I have
been de-fathered,
39
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:11,181
my world is positively
pregnant with possibilities.
40
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,516
Great, but isn't it your job
to finish your book?
41
00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:14,517
Is it?
42
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:16,052
I don't know anymore.
43
00:02:16,086 --> 00:02:18,188
Oy.
44
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,655
I guess I can't talk.
45
00:02:19,689 --> 00:02:21,858
I'm reading goddamn self-help.
46
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:25,728
Oh, yes, that's sure to
solve your myriad problems.
47
00:02:25,761 --> 00:02:27,964
My therapist recommended it.
48
00:02:27,998 --> 00:02:29,532
It's about mindfulness,
49
00:02:29,565 --> 00:02:31,467
which is about
being completely--
No!
50
00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:32,835
I think you'd actually
like therapy.
51
00:02:32,869 --> 00:02:34,637
It's really helpful
to look at your life
52
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:36,306
from a different perspective.
53
00:02:36,339 --> 00:02:39,342
Like when they stood on the
desks in Dead Poets Society.
54
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:41,077
Didn't that one kid
shoot himself?
55
00:02:41,111 --> 00:02:42,745
Like I'm learning
how because of my mom's
56
00:02:42,778 --> 00:02:45,982
impossibly high expectations,
I can never turn my brain off.
57
00:02:46,016 --> 00:02:49,352
I am really opening the trunk
and seeing what's inside.
58
00:02:49,385 --> 00:02:51,021
Don't you mean the hood?
59
00:02:51,054 --> 00:02:53,423
Your trunk's just cartons
of Mexican cigarettes,
60
00:02:53,456 --> 00:02:55,191
old Halloween wigs
61
00:02:55,225 --> 00:02:58,328
and five bags of clothes
you never donated to Goodwill.
62
00:02:58,361 --> 00:03:00,863
I really need to get a handle
on this mindfulness shit.
63
00:03:00,897 --> 00:03:03,033
I am doing the work.
64
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:04,734
I'm evolving, Jimmy.
65
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,869
I just don't want you
to get left behind.
66
00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:08,338
I think I'll manage.
67
00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:10,340
Anyway, look.
68
00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:11,607
(sing-songy):
Blueprints!
69
00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:13,676
Do not touch
with your syrup
70
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:16,379
and-God-knows-what-else-since
you-don't-wash-your-legs hands.
71
00:03:16,412 --> 00:03:18,414
Look at us!
72
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,217
You're changing careers
to building tree houses.
73
00:03:21,251 --> 00:03:24,054
I'm exploring the roots
of my mental illness.
74
00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:27,590
Hey, before we change too much,
you want to knock one out?
75
00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,993
Sure.
76
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:37,000
Eh, you can start.
I'll catch up.
77
00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:44,807
(moaning)
78
00:03:49,745 --> 00:03:52,548
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
79
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:55,285
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
80
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,621
* Gonna leave you anyway.
81
00:04:02,525 --> 00:04:05,495
(muffled moaning and thumping)
82
00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:10,967
Let's do this.
83
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,770
(phone buzzing)
Nothing can slow me down,
84
00:04:14,804 --> 00:04:16,906
but who says that
eating on the run...
85
00:04:16,939 --> 00:04:18,308
What is going on?
86
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,676
You have been blowing
up all morning.
87
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,645
High Times tweeted
my Dr. Weed video,
88
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:26,249
and now I'm getting all these
annoying tweets from stoners.
89
00:04:26,282 --> 00:04:28,651
I don't want to be a pot person.
90
00:04:28,684 --> 00:04:31,421
You make videos with a
character called "Dr. Weed,"
91
00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:33,923
and you smoke all
day, every day.
92
00:04:33,956 --> 00:04:37,760
Listen, Dorothy,
93
00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:39,929
I stopped taking my meds.
94
00:04:39,962 --> 00:04:42,765
What? You went off your meds
and you didn't tell me?
Yeah.
95
00:04:42,798 --> 00:04:44,800
I didn't want to, you know,
declare anything
96
00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:47,337
until I saw how it worked,
and listen,
97
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,806
a lot of vets are using weed
to help with their PTSD.
98
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,376
I mean, sure, I might take a
little longer to do some things.
99
00:04:53,409 --> 00:04:55,278
Like this morning,
I laughed for 15 minutes
100
00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:57,547
because the bathroom faucet
kind of looks like a face.
101
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:58,514
(laughter)
102
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,883
But I feel...
103
00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:02,952
really good.
104
00:05:02,985 --> 00:05:05,855
Better than I have in...
105
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,158
forever.
106
00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:09,959
Okay, well, then good.
107
00:05:09,992 --> 00:05:12,362
I am so glad that you finally
found something that works.
108
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,797
And if you do turn
into a lazy pothead,
109
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,366
then you can always
be my house husband.
110
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:19,502
Speaking of which,
let's do this.
111
00:05:20,936 --> 00:05:23,306
Nothing can slow me down,
112
00:05:23,339 --> 00:05:25,975
but who says that eating
on the run has to be boring?
113
00:05:26,008 --> 00:05:27,977
With Snack Hacker
snacker boxes,
114
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:29,945
I get my daily recommended
allowance of fun.
115
00:05:36,018 --> 00:05:39,189
*
116
00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:40,790
(birds singing)
117
00:05:46,629 --> 00:05:51,234
* A wintery evening and vein 33
takes me back to the heart *
118
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:54,404
(indistinct voice on video)
* The show's going to start!
119
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:58,007
* Dodging the crux
of a highway stampede *
120
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,710
* I make a break
for Liver Street *
121
00:06:00,743 --> 00:06:02,678
* Soon I'll be out
of the noose *
122
00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:07,016
* And forgetting
the life I lead *
123
00:06:07,049 --> 00:06:09,119
* Honey, I'm home,
hug applied, kisses blown *
124
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:11,621
* And I conquer the den
125
00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,689
* Mine to defend
126
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:17,293
* Traces of happier days
in the air *
127
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,929
* A photograph,
a maiden fair *
128
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,798
* Reach for the button
and nothing *
129
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:24,534
* But memories disappear
(gasps)
130
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:26,669
(whimpers)
131
00:06:29,272 --> 00:06:32,375
(grunting)
132
00:06:32,408 --> 00:06:34,009
(sighs)
133
00:06:42,118 --> 00:06:45,521
*
134
00:06:54,864 --> 00:06:57,300
(humming)
135
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:02,138
* Ah, ah, ah, ah.
136
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,673
(munching food)
137
00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:09,078
Mmm! Mm-hmm.
138
00:07:09,111 --> 00:07:11,614
Mmm!
139
00:07:11,647 --> 00:07:14,617
Mmm!
Will you knock it off
140
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,620
and eat your goddamn
nachos like a person!
141
00:07:17,653 --> 00:07:18,988
What's wrong with you?
142
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,323
My therapist said
143
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:21,824
I have to practice mindfulness,
144
00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:24,927
so I am focusing
on the flavor of the food,
145
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:29,199
the mouth feel, the swallowing,
146
00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:33,102
the reflecting...
on my swallowing.
147
00:07:33,135 --> 00:07:36,172
Jesus Christ, it's like
trying to eat an area rug.
148
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,807
Eating slow?
149
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,176
But less food in mouth.
150
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,011
Did you know
that things your parents did
151
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,281
when you were a kid
can affect you as an adult?
152
00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:47,817
What?! You mean time travel?
153
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,685
Everything was a competition
with my mom--
154
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,623
grades, tennis, who had a
lower BMI, even television.
155
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:55,825
During Wheel,
she'd make me solve the puzzle
156
00:07:55,858 --> 00:07:57,527
before the contestants.
157
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,696
All this time, I thought
my mom was scary but dope.
158
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,398
Turns out
she wasn't dope at all.
159
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,567
So she's not dope.
This morning
160
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,402
I realized my entire life,
161
00:08:06,436 --> 00:08:08,371
I've had my mom's
judgey voice in my head.
162
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,905
If I don't learn to replace it
163
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:12,408
with something else mo' better,
I am screwed.
164
00:08:15,511 --> 00:08:17,179
(groans)
Oh!
165
00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:18,981
Hot! Hot!
166
00:08:19,014 --> 00:08:19,982
(softly):
Hot.
167
00:08:20,015 --> 00:08:20,983
(blows)
168
00:08:21,016 --> 00:08:21,984
Wait.
169
00:08:22,017 --> 00:08:24,320
No, no, no, no!
170
00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:27,657
That's what you get
for disrespecting nachos.
171
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,559
Okay, so here's your pie flight,
172
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:33,529
double cream lemon, Kahlúa cream
cheese and chocolate satin.
173
00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:37,066
Aw, I'm eating for two
for the last time.
174
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,269
Well, you had a good run.
175
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:41,404
You ready, lady?
Yup.
176
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,907
Let's go get this abobo.
177
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:48,043
*
178
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:50,079
(breathing heavily)
179
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,222
Dad?
180
00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:04,827
Dad?
181
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:13,869
(whispers):
He's gone.
182
00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,738
Yes!
183
00:09:16,772 --> 00:09:19,309
A toast to my triumph,
184
00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:23,313
my creation completed after
an honest day of manual labor,
185
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:25,315
like the people.
186
00:09:25,348 --> 00:09:27,417
Like men.
187
00:09:29,985 --> 00:09:32,322
Thank you Herr Hammer.
188
00:09:32,355 --> 00:09:34,123
I could not have done it
without you.
189
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,959
I'll meet you below for
a celebratory Pilsner shortly.
190
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,965
Madame Level,
191
00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:44,900
you have been integral
to my success,
192
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:47,770
from your green liquid
to your bubble.
193
00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:49,238
A bientot.
194
00:09:49,271 --> 00:09:52,174
(level clatters on ground)
195
00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:55,411
Señor... Drilly.
196
00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:58,180
(chuckles)
I counted on you most of all.
197
00:09:58,213 --> 00:09:59,449
Go.
198
00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,651
Enjoy a Campari on me.
199
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,919
Ciao, amigo.
200
00:10:03,953 --> 00:10:05,154
(screams)
201
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,156
(yells)
202
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:15,130
(indistinct conversations)
203
00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:17,833
Oh, man, so many of the girls
that I coach are here.
204
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,201
It's like if you dig
the student, you're really
205
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:20,770
gonna love the master, right?
206
00:10:20,803 --> 00:10:22,938
You're gonna kill it.
207
00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:23,806
Hey, Dorothy.
Oh, hey.
208
00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:25,140
(quietly):
Hi.
209
00:10:25,174 --> 00:10:26,809
You signed in for
"Cute Yoga Girl,"
210
00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,011
but I think we got our wires
crossed with your agent.
211
00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:31,313
We were actually excited to
see you for "Overworked Mom."
212
00:10:31,347 --> 00:10:33,716
Oh, okay.
Great.
213
00:10:33,749 --> 00:10:36,051
Awesome. We have a bathrobe
you can just put on.
214
00:10:36,085 --> 00:10:37,353
Yeah.
Excellent.
215
00:10:39,021 --> 00:10:40,222
Uh...
216
00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:41,391
Hey, are you sure this is okay?
217
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:42,992
You practiced the other one.
218
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:44,660
Edgar, this kind of stuff
happens all the time.
219
00:10:44,694 --> 00:10:45,895
It's part of the biz.
220
00:10:45,928 --> 00:10:47,397
Okay, I'm gonna go
in the bathroom
221
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,831
and rub off some of this
under eye concealer
222
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:50,866
so I look super beat.
223
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,207
MAN:
Hey.
224
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,309
Do you need more weed?
225
00:11:00,342 --> 00:11:01,744
You're Dr. Weed, right?
Yeah.
226
00:11:01,777 --> 00:11:03,178
I'm Doug Benson.
227
00:11:03,212 --> 00:11:06,215
Oh, yeah, the, uh...
the pot comedy guy.
228
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,384
Among other things,
but sure, that's the brand.
229
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,585
Edgar Quintero.
230
00:11:09,619 --> 00:11:11,186
Super funny vids, man.
231
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:12,388
Hey, you should swing by
232
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,189
my "office" sometime.
233
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:16,258
I've got a project I think
you might be interested in.
234
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:18,093
Wow, uh, yeah.
235
00:11:18,127 --> 00:11:21,063
That... that would be great.
236
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:23,065
So, what are you
auditioning for?
237
00:11:23,098 --> 00:11:26,368
Oh, I just nailed
the role of "Sleepy Dad."
238
00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:28,203
Hey, do you have a
diagnosis for my character?
239
00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:31,340
(Dr. Weed voice):
Hmm, my diagnosis is...
240
00:11:31,373 --> 00:11:35,210
you need more sleep.
241
00:11:35,244 --> 00:11:36,512
Just kidding.
242
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:38,347
You need more weed!
243
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,284
(laughs) Yeah, I thought that
was going to be the diagnosis.
244
00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:53,362
Why do cats get to have
all the good tongues?
245
00:11:53,395 --> 00:11:55,698
You sure you're okay
if I don't go in with you?
246
00:11:55,731 --> 00:11:57,967
I really have to do this
mediation app.
Sure.
247
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,368
I'll go in alone.
They know me.
248
00:11:59,401 --> 00:12:00,736
Great, so, you'll be out in
249
00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:02,137
40, 45 minutes.
40, 45 minutes.
250
00:12:06,742 --> 00:12:07,977
(phone dings)
251
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:14,016
(phone dings)
252
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,327
(phone continues dinging)
253
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,497
(chuckles)
254
00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:42,277
PAUL'S BOSS: And another thing,
Jillian, you are--
255
00:12:42,311 --> 00:12:44,313
Who are you texting?
PAUL: Can you hear him?
256
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,448
He's yelling at me right now.
257
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:50,019
Why can't I stop texting?
I guess I just miss you so much.
258
00:12:50,052 --> 00:12:51,320
Bye!
Give me that phone. Give...
259
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,289
(recording stops)
260
00:12:59,461 --> 00:13:01,864
Difficult decision, huh?
261
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:04,667
Yeah.
262
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,368
Would you like to chat?
263
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:08,771
Maybe I can help you figure
out some of your troubles.
264
00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:11,073
Thanks.
265
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,278
So, what's bothering you?
266
00:13:16,311 --> 00:13:18,614
LINDSAY:
Well...
267
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:20,049
it started when...
268
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:21,984
All right.
269
00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:24,486
Let's do this shit.
(soothing music plays)
270
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,122
WOMAN (soothing voice):
During this mediation
271
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,824
we will focus on being...
272
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:29,659
Mindful.
273
00:13:29,692 --> 00:13:30,693
...mindful,
274
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,863
where you are not in the past,
275
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,397
not in the future,
276
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,832
but in...
Present.
277
00:13:36,866 --> 00:13:37,800
...the present.
278
00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,034
Easy. Next.
279
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571
Clear your mind
and focus on your...
280
00:13:41,604 --> 00:13:43,238
Breathing.
281
00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:44,206
Surroundings.
282
00:13:44,239 --> 00:13:45,074
Shit.
283
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,709
And your breathing.
284
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:47,977
Yes!
Suck it, lady.
285
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:52,247
(slowly):
Notice the rise and fall
286
00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:55,184
of your chest.
287
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:57,519
Notice the rise...
288
00:13:57,553 --> 00:14:01,356
Oh, God, so boring,
I want to kill myself.
289
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:03,759
Eject, eject, eject.
(recording stops)
290
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,967
(seductive music plays,
woman moaning)
291
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,706
(buzzing)
292
00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:17,940
Edgar?
293
00:14:17,973 --> 00:14:19,208
Edgar!
294
00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:20,442
Where the hell is he?
295
00:14:20,475 --> 00:14:22,211
Sure, when I'm trying
to have sex
296
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:24,780
in my kitchen, he's constantly
underfoot, but now...
297
00:14:28,651 --> 00:14:29,919
Trees.
298
00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:33,222
Trees.
299
00:14:33,255 --> 00:14:35,290
What if Pauline Two...
300
00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:37,192
no, I am not writing today.
301
00:14:37,226 --> 00:14:38,460
No, no, Malcolm!
302
00:14:38,493 --> 00:14:39,862
Shut up!
303
00:14:39,895 --> 00:14:41,997
Characters,
stop speaking through me.
304
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,437
Oh, my God, chapter 12.
I could have Simon
305
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,206
jump up on the speakers
at the Oasis set at Glastonbury.
306
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,508
No, I am.... not-not doing this!
307
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:13,629
Oh, Simon, you brilliant,
horny bastard.
308
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:17,933
Suck it, Dad,
I'm still a writer.
309
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:19,735
(buzzing)
310
00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:21,470
(buzzing stops)
311
00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:26,141
(sighs)
312
00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:31,847
Oh, no, not today.
313
00:15:31,881 --> 00:15:34,449
So then I heated up
the condom in the microwave
314
00:15:34,483 --> 00:15:37,152
and I got a turkey baster.
Wait, I need you to back up.
315
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,588
Okay, so I wanted a popsicle...
316
00:15:39,621 --> 00:15:41,991
Lindsay, do not let those
pro-life assholes
317
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,425
talk you out of
your legal right!
318
00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:44,660
It's okay.
319
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,528
I was already having
second thoughts
320
00:15:46,561 --> 00:15:48,630
before this nice lady came over.
321
00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:49,631
What, why?
322
00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:51,533
If Paul and I get divorced,
323
00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:54,603
I'm not gonna have
a family anymore.
324
00:15:54,636 --> 00:15:56,005
Family.
325
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,140
Name one family
that's just one person.
326
00:15:58,173 --> 00:16:00,142
Suddenly Susan.
327
00:16:00,175 --> 00:16:02,812
Listen, I know
328
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:07,216
that becoming a real human being
is a scary thing,
329
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:10,285
but I'll help you.
330
00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:12,855
I got your back always.
331
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:15,324
Thanks, Gretch.
332
00:16:15,357 --> 00:16:16,658
All right.
333
00:16:17,693 --> 00:16:21,864
I'm ready.
334
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,399
Bam, nice try, terrorists.
335
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:26,501
Another victory
for women's rights.
336
00:16:27,669 --> 00:16:29,638
Actually, I was gonna
tell her to do it.
337
00:16:29,671 --> 00:16:32,041
In my book, there are
extenuating circumstances--
338
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,243
rape, incest and...
339
00:16:34,276 --> 00:16:35,510
whatever this is.
340
00:16:43,685 --> 00:16:45,687
(indistinct chatter)
341
00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:56,431
Mr. Benson will see you now.
342
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,703
No, no.
343
00:17:01,737 --> 00:17:03,672
Uh-uh. No.
344
00:17:03,705 --> 00:17:05,240
I'm walking away
from the table.
345
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,509
I'll call you
from the chopper.
346
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:08,844
Sorry, I had to handle that
347
00:17:08,878 --> 00:17:10,679
before the European
markets closed.
348
00:17:10,712 --> 00:17:13,182
This, um-- this place isn't
what I was expecting.
349
00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:15,417
Listen, I was looking at my
third quarter staffing budget
350
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,052
and I'd like to offer you
351
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:19,454
a few days punch up on a
show I'm doing for Waze.
352
00:17:19,488 --> 00:17:21,290
The GPS app?
Isn't that dangerous?
353
00:17:21,323 --> 00:17:22,724
You'd think so,
354
00:17:22,758 --> 00:17:24,026
but no, the show's
only gonna play
355
00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:25,627
at stop lights
and in traffic.
356
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,863
So, what do you think
you should be paid?
357
00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:29,899
Uh...
358
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:32,802
$300?
359
00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:35,537
Done.
Yes!
360
00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:36,538
(softly):
Yes.
361
00:17:36,571 --> 00:17:37,973
Hey, you want to, uh...
362
00:17:40,009 --> 00:17:41,877
light up and celebrate?
363
00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:44,013
Edgar, this is
a place of business.
364
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,783
Thank you.
365
00:17:59,528 --> 00:18:01,663
You okay?
366
00:18:01,696 --> 00:18:02,898
What are you thinking about?
367
00:18:02,932 --> 00:18:04,433
Pie.
368
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,635
You're thinking about
369
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,903
what you're eating right now?
370
00:18:07,937 --> 00:18:09,771
Of course. If I'm eating pie,
371
00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:10,772
I'm thinking pie.
372
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:12,274
If I have a fork in my mouth,
373
00:18:12,307 --> 00:18:14,143
I'm thinking fork.
374
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,145
You just had an abortion,
375
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,646
you're divorcing your husband,
376
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,348
and you're literally
only thinking about
377
00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:20,615
what's happening in this moment?
378
00:18:20,649 --> 00:18:21,951
Guess so.
379
00:18:23,218 --> 00:18:24,353
Strawtini.
380
00:18:24,386 --> 00:18:25,654
You might be some kind of
381
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,490
secret mindfulness guru.
382
00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:29,925
I'm gonna take notes.
383
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:32,127
Just, uh,
speak your thoughts out, okay?
384
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:34,830
Strawtini.
385
00:18:36,465 --> 00:18:38,033
Chew, chew,
386
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:38,968
chew,
387
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:39,801
little fart.
388
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:41,636
Waitress is coming over.
389
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,438
Here she is. Hi.
390
00:18:43,472 --> 00:18:44,874
Can I get you anything else?
Talking to me.
391
00:18:44,907 --> 00:18:45,807
Talking to me.
392
00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:47,142
My turn to talk.
393
00:18:47,176 --> 00:18:47,977
Neck mole,
394
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:50,812
boobs.
395
00:18:50,846 --> 00:18:52,514
Bye, waitress.
396
00:18:52,547 --> 00:18:54,516
I miss her.
397
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:55,817
Gretchen's still here.
398
00:18:55,851 --> 00:18:56,785
Hi, Gretchen.
399
00:18:56,818 --> 00:18:57,619
(chuckles)
400
00:18:57,652 --> 00:18:58,620
Baby ears.
401
00:18:58,653 --> 00:18:59,889
Ooh,
402
00:18:59,922 --> 00:19:02,024
a hang nail.
403
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,692
Pie again.
404
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:11,233
(laughing)
405
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:13,168
Oh!
406
00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:15,570
Sto...
Hey.
407
00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:17,139
I had such a productive day.
408
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,008
I just made $80 cleaning out
409
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:21,543
this rich old lady's closet
in Beverly Hills.
410
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:22,844
Awesome.
It is.
411
00:19:22,878 --> 00:19:24,313
I have good news, too.
412
00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:26,481
Ooh, did Jimmy make
you buy more of those
413
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:27,716
disgusting candies
that I like?
414
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,584
Rum Christophers?
(groans)
415
00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:31,053
No.
416
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,188
I got offered a job,
417
00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:36,491
writing for
Doug Benson's new show.
418
00:19:36,525 --> 00:19:37,993
Wait, what?
419
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:39,428
Really?
Yeah.
420
00:19:39,461 --> 00:19:41,696
You got a job writing comedy
for a TV show?
421
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,732
Yeah. I mean,
it's a short-term gig
422
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,534
a-and there are a ton of
liability waivers
423
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:47,169
I have to sign, but still.
424
00:19:47,202 --> 00:19:48,737
Wow, wow.
425
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,106
That's-- you know that
I know Doug, right?
426
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:52,407
Did you tell him
that we're dating?
427
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,009
No, I didn't know you knew him.
428
00:19:54,043 --> 00:19:56,278
Oh, yeah, for years.
429
00:19:56,311 --> 00:19:57,947
Like, way back when he was
doing his show at the theater,
430
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,281
I used to bring him waters.
431
00:19:59,314 --> 00:20:00,749
I can't believe that
you didn't know
432
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:01,850
that I know Doug.
433
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:03,052
You totally should've told him.
434
00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:05,087
He would have lost his mind.
435
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,122
Anyway, congratulations.
436
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:09,524
That is so cool
437
00:20:09,558 --> 00:20:11,293
that he's giving you
this opportunity.
438
00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:13,028
I... I mean,
439
00:20:13,062 --> 00:20:14,263
I thought you didn't
want to be a pot guy.
440
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,264
I don't.
441
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,698
But now I'm a pot guy
442
00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:18,533
with a J-O-B.
443
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,435
Can you believe it?
444
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,304
I'm a comedy writer!
445
00:20:23,338 --> 00:20:25,107
I totally can't.
And...
446
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,908
I couldn't...
447
00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:29,111
have ever done it...
448
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,980
without you, teach.
449
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,882
How about I go upstairs
450
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:36,285
and I... (kisses)
451
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:40,722
whip us up some of my famous
breakfast soup dumplings?
452
00:20:40,755 --> 00:20:43,625
Ooh, I love that.
453
00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:46,361
Ah!
I'll be right up.
454
00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:57,006
*
455
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:13,488
*
456
00:21:27,236 --> 00:21:29,238
(sighs)
457
00:21:33,342 --> 00:21:36,678
Everything looks so different
from up here.
458
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:46,421
(dog panting)
459
00:21:56,098 --> 00:21:57,699
(crickets chirping)
460
00:22:03,438 --> 00:22:06,375
*
461
00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,032
Walk.
462
00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:33,435
(exhales)
463
00:22:33,468 --> 00:22:35,604
Couch.
464
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,077
Remote.
465
00:22:43,078 --> 00:22:44,446
PAT SAJAK:
Uh-huh, there is a "J."
466
00:22:44,479 --> 00:22:45,614
If you can solve the puzzle
right now...
467
00:22:45,647 --> 00:22:46,715
Wheel.
468
00:22:46,748 --> 00:22:49,251
...there is a jackpot
of nearly $10,000
469
00:22:49,284 --> 00:22:50,385
in addition to
the money you have.
470
00:22:50,419 --> 00:22:51,686
If not, you have to either
471
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,255
buy a vowel or spin the wheel.
472
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:54,389
I'll solve the puzzle.
Go ahead.
473
00:22:54,423 --> 00:22:56,691
"I Have The Wine"
by Johnny Cash.
474
00:22:56,725 --> 00:22:58,527
Oh, my God, you are so...
475
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,594
That is not correct.
(buzzer sounds)
476
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,131
Nope, just watch.
477
00:23:02,164 --> 00:23:04,032
Jason.
478
00:23:04,065 --> 00:23:06,034
Wheel. B.
(wheel spinning)
479
00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:08,470
Breathe.
480
00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:11,406
(applause)
JASON: "L," please.
481
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,041
SAJAK: Yes, two "L's."
(ding)
482
00:23:13,074 --> 00:23:15,177
Pick up that gift tag...
483
00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:20,615
CALM FEMALE VOICE:
Notice...
484
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:23,418
the rise...
485
00:23:23,452 --> 00:23:28,123
and fall of your chest.
486
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,124
(door opens)
487
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,793
Hey.
488
00:23:31,826 --> 00:23:33,061
Good news.
489
00:23:33,094 --> 00:23:34,529
I'm hella mindful now.
490
00:23:35,864 --> 00:23:37,432
Why are you covered in yard?
491
00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:39,934
I did what you said.
492
00:23:39,968 --> 00:23:42,904
I looked at my life from
an outside perspective.
493
00:23:42,937 --> 00:23:43,905
Yeah.
494
00:23:43,938 --> 00:23:44,973
Doesn't it feel great?
495
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:47,509
No, it was terrifying.
496
00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:49,311
I didn't recognize any of it.
497
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:50,345
What?
498
00:23:50,379 --> 00:23:52,581
I don't recognize my life.
499
00:23:52,614 --> 00:23:56,117
I don't know whether I made
any of the right decisions.
500
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,856
Everything could be wrong.
501
00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:03,124
Everything?
502
00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:08,563
Everything.
503
00:24:19,974 --> 00:24:21,810
(applause)
(wheel spinning)
504
00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:25,814
It's "I Walk the Line."
505
00:24:25,847 --> 00:24:27,048
SAJAK:
What do you want to do?
506
00:24:27,081 --> 00:24:30,118
* All I want is
507
00:24:30,151 --> 00:24:33,988
* A pair of wings to fly
508
00:24:34,022 --> 00:24:36,658
* Into the blue of
509
00:24:36,691 --> 00:24:39,794
* The wide open sky
510
00:24:39,828 --> 00:24:43,865
* Show me your scars
511
00:24:43,898 --> 00:24:46,868
* I'll show you mine
512
00:24:46,901 --> 00:24:49,304
* Perched out of the city
513
00:24:49,338 --> 00:24:54,209
* On a pair of power lines
514
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:58,780
* On clouds I'll sing
and dance... *
515
00:25:00,048 --> 00:25:03,017
(dog barks)
516
00:25:06,054 --> 00:25:08,957
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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