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1
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,490
Felix?
2
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,160
Caught me, didn't you?
3
00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:02,670
Caught you what?
4
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,986
Stealing your money.
5
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:05,310
Don't worry.
6
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:07,640
Go back to sleep.
7
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:08,926
You still have half an hour.
8
00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:11,150
Okay.
9
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,940
On November 13, Felix Unger
was asked to remove himself
10
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,070
from his place of residence.
11
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:32,770
That request came from his wife.
12
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,226
Deep down, he
knew she was right,
13
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,680
but he also knew that
someday he would return to her.
14
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,650
With nowhere else to go,
15
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,460
he appeared at the home
of his friend Oscar Madison.
16
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,766
Several years earlier,
17
00:01:44,790 --> 00:01:46,366
Madison's wife
had thrown him out,
18
00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:49,050
requesting that he never return.
19
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,606
Can two divorced
men share an apartment
20
00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:54,190
without driving
each other crazy?
21
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,270
♪ ♪
22
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,566
Felix?
23
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,596
Hi, Oscar.
24
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:56,320
H-Hey, you're up early.
25
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,466
Want some eggs?
26
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:58,776
I want some answers. Yeah?
27
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,500
What, what, w-what...
28
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,576
What? What...
29
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,160
You're not making any sense.
30
00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,300
I'll be more explicit.
31
00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:09,370
Yeah.
32
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,480
What, what, what, what...
33
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:12,956
What?
34
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,426
I don't know what
you're talking about.
35
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,806
Did I see you taking
money from my pocket?
36
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,410
Yes.
37
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,656
I did?
38
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,766
Yes.
39
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,796
I mean, you were
stealing money from me.
40
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,136
That's what I saw? Yes.
41
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,396
Yes, that's your confession.
42
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,836
You're a thief, yes? Yes? Yes.
43
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,650
You want some eggs?
44
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,826
You're gonna be
an egg in a minute.
45
00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:34,326
Why are you stealing
money from me?
46
00:03:34,350 --> 00:03:36,326
If you're going to
shout at me like that,
47
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,896
I won't even
discuss it with you.
48
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,960
I'm sorry.
49
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,080
How long has this been going on?
50
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,010
About two years.
51
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,600
Two years?
52
00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:51,680
Drink your juice.
53
00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:54,400
No, it gives me
acid indigestion.
54
00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:55,676
And how much have you stolen?
55
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,830
Mm... about $2,000.
56
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:00,480
Two... You got a pit.
57
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:01,596
Yeah.
58
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:05,790
$2,000.
59
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,076
What did you spend it on?
60
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,030
Hmm?
61
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,206
What? Tissues, vacuum cleaners?
62
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:13,100
How dare you.
63
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,060
How dare me?
64
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:19,370
To accuse me of pilferage
for personal aggrandizement.
65
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,266
Well, what did you
do with the money?
66
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:22,570
Give it to nasal research?
67
00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:26,520
I-I'd hate to be like you.
68
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:27,510
I really would.
69
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:28,666
You're so suspicious.
70
00:04:28,690 --> 00:04:29,990
I was saving it for you.
71
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,220
You put it away for me.
72
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,566
Yep.
73
00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:37,890
Oh, you were saving
it for me for my future?
74
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,506
Yes. How dare you.
75
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,270
Give me the money.
76
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:42,746
I don't have the money on me.
77
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:45,276
It's in the bank. What bank?
78
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,646
First Federal Savings and Loan.
79
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:47,946
It's earning interest every day.
80
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,400
Except tomorrow.
81
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:51,086
Whose name is it
on, yours or mine?
82
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,216
Well, yours, of course.
83
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,286
It wouldn't be ethical
to put it in my name.
84
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:55,640
Oh, tell me about ethics,
85
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:56,926
sneak-in-the-night
thief-through-the-pockets.
86
00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:58,126
Who are you calling?
87
00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,196
The bank isn't open at
this hour of the morning.
88
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,626
Hello, let me talk
to Harry, please.
89
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,666
It's Oscar Madison. Who's Harry?
90
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:03,620
You'll see. Which Harry?
91
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:04,936
Hello, Harry.
92
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,196
Listen, I got two dollars in
the fifth on Redneck, right?
93
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:08,150
That Harry.
94
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,436
But now I've got $2,002...
95
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,430
No, no, no!
96
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:12,906
I always cover the bet, don't I?
97
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:14,976
You're not going to blow
this money on a horse.
98
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,626
I worked hard to get that money.
99
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,046
You think I like going
into your room every night?
100
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:20,940
Let that be a lesson to you.
101
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,560
What? Crime doesn't pay.
102
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,916
And around the clubhouse turn,
it's Redneck and Tumbleweed.
103
00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:36,860
Come on, Redneck.
104
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:37,850
Come on, Redneck.
105
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,200
It's Tumbleweed and Redneck.
106
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:40,210
Come on, Redneck!
107
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,580
Which horse is yours?
108
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,936
Now around the far turn,
coming into the stretch,
109
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,750
they're nose to nose.
110
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:47,236
I wish my horse had your nose.
111
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:49,990
And here comes Red
Dog on the outside.
112
00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,206
All right, Red Dog!
113
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:52,760
No, Redneck.
114
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,400
Well, why did they put two
"Red" horses in the same race?
115
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,846
And they both look brown to me.
116
00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:58,086
Let me adjust the color.
117
00:05:58,110 --> 00:06:00,156
Now it's Red Dog and
Redneck... Come on, Redneck.
118
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:01,786
Redneck and Red Dog... Redneck!
119
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:03,026
Red Dog and Redneck...
120
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:03,980
Redneck and Red Dog...
121
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:07,640
and here comes Aunt
Bee on the outside.
122
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,946
Aunt Bee, now
that's a nice name.
123
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:13,330
It's Red Dog, Redneck, Red
Dog, Redneck, and the winner is...
124
00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:14,340
Redneck! Redneck!
125
00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:15,340
What a race!
126
00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:16,786
I won! I won! You won!
127
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,916
I won! I won!
128
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:19,286
I'm so happy for you, Oscar.
129
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,156
Now don't spend it
all in the same place.
130
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:23,226
Why not? I won it
all in the same place.
131
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,296
I told you to bet with
me. Why didn't you?
132
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,626
No, Oscar, I'm sorry, I
never bet on the ponies.
133
00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:29,066
There's only one sport I bet on.
134
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,030
What's that?
135
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,700
Professional wrestling.
136
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,690
Hello, Harry?
137
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,690
O.M. here.
138
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,090
Yeah, Lucky Oscar.
139
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,176
Listen, what did I win?
140
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,906
What? Wait a minute,
I can't hear you.
141
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:40,860
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
142
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:42,546
a mockingbird flew
through my window.
143
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,616
What'd he pay?
144
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,676
420.
145
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,046
I won $4,200.
146
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:48,666
Listen, don't go away,
I'm coming right down.
147
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:49,706
What'd you say?
148
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,466
What? Wait a... The
mockingbird is back.
149
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:53,420
Hold it, will ya!
150
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,830
What?
151
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,900
Felix picked up the money?
152
00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:57,976
How could he do that?
153
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,546
The horse just won the race.
154
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,930
He was waiting there.
155
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,516
And he insisted on new bills
156
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:07,970
'cause the flu is going around.
157
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,056
Thanks a lot,
Harry, thanks a lot.
158
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,610
Hold it, nightingale.
159
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,880
Felix picked up the money.
160
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:19,030
Aw, he's a swell guy.
161
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:21,166
I wish Felix was my best friend.
162
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,750
How do you want
him, dead or alive?
163
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,740
Come on, Oscar, let me go.
164
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,860
My squad car's been
double-parked for three hours.
165
00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:34,870
Drink your milk.
166
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:36,680
Drink your milk.
167
00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:39,900
How's it gonna look, a
police car with a ticket on it?
168
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,100
Besides, I'm being
derelict in my duties.
169
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,090
You're better off.
170
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,276
It's a rough crowd out there.
171
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,940
Gentlemen.
172
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,700
Arrest that man, Murray.
173
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,146
I should warn you anything
you say can be used
174
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,570
as evidence against you.
175
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,570
What's the charge?
176
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,920
Hijacking.
177
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,780
What airline?
178
00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:05,190
When you find out what
I've done with your money,
179
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,466
you're going to be thrilled.
180
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:07,866
I'm going to give you
exactly 30 seconds
181
00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:09,586
to thrill me with what
you did with my money.
182
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:12,450
I invested it. In what?
183
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:15,800
In something as solid
as the Rock of Gibraltar
184
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,906
and rooted in the basic
needs of the American people.
185
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,006
What?
186
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,360
A Japanese restaurant.
187
00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:37,440
A Japanese restaurant.
188
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,780
This is the Miyako Gardens.
189
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:42,040
I'd rather have the
Boardwalk and Park Place.
190
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,030
Take off your shoes.
191
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,640
Why? Is somebody sleeping?
192
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:46,336
Take off your shoes.
It's the custom here.
193
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,506
Don't be the ugly American.
194
00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:49,536
Put your shoe back on.
195
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:50,490
Why?
196
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,946
You've got a hole in your sock.
197
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:54,976
Felix, I don't like
Japanese foods.
198
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,416
I don't know anything
about a restaurant.
199
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,176
You don't have to
know anything about it.
200
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,130
You're a silent partner.
201
00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:01,040
Watch this guy.
202
00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:03,386
This is the authentic
Japanese cooking.
203
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,816
They prepare the
food at the table.
204
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,540
Can't they afford a kitchen?
205
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:09,380
Felix, give me my money back
or I'm gonna call the bunco squad.
206
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,760
Will you sit down with me?
207
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,496
Take the seza position.
208
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,526
Are we going to pray?
209
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:16,830
What is that?
210
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,930
Ah... Arigato.
211
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:20,590
Hello, Regato. Hello.
212
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,206
Hot towel! Of course it's hot.
213
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,676
Wipe your hands. It's hot.
214
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,306
I washed my hands
before I came here.
215
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,960
Arigato.
216
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,970
Bye, Regato.
217
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:37,210
Yeah. Isn't that nice?
218
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,780
Felix...
219
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:40,426
get me out of here. Why?
220
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,526
I don't know anything
about this joint.
221
00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:44,000
You don't have to know anything.
222
00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:47,170
Would I put you into anything
that I haven't gone into myself?
223
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,416
I put $4,000 of my
own money in this.
224
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,936
Who stole the money
from your pocket?
225
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,300
I know how to save money.
226
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,406
The food here is sensational.
Then why does he have
227
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:56,276
to cut us in if it's
so great? Shh, shh.
228
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,936
The inscrutable Mr. Unger.
229
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,306
Ah, my friend, Mr. Yamada.
230
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:02,376
Yamada-san, nice to see you.
231
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,016
This is my friend, Mr. Madison,
232
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,686
the other silent
partner, Mister Yamada.
233
00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:07,116
How do you do, sir? Mr. Madison,
234
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,356
I'm very happy to meet you.
235
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:10,980
May the wind of
change bring bird of luck.
236
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,926
Thank you. Welcome
to Miyako Gardens.
237
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:14,956
I'd stand up, but I'm afraid
I couldn't get down again.
238
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:19,460
Now explain your...
239
00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:21,946
Ung-ah. Ring, ring,
ring, ring. Ung-ah.
240
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:23,250
Ung-ah?
241
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,466
Ah, it is telephone for
Mr. Felix Unger. Oh.
242
00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:27,866
Ring, ring-a-ling, ring, ring.
243
00:10:27,890 --> 00:10:29,706
Felix Unger. It
is in the kitchen.
244
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,330
Yes. Yamada-san?
245
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,340
Explain the improvements
you planned to Madison-san.
246
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,660
He is a nervous
sparrow in a nest of gold.
247
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:43,010
Mr. Unger is a
very fine gentleman.
248
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,716
In Japan, he would be considered
249
00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:46,310
most honorable man.
250
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,940
Over here, he's
considered a pest.
251
00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:52,020
Please. Nosh.
252
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,496
I'll tell you the
truth, Mr. Yamada,
253
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,126
I really don't want
to be a partner.
254
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,236
See, Mr. Unger had no
right to invest my money
255
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,656
without talking to me about it.
256
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,406
You see? The
flight of a lost bird
257
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:01,800
is at the mercy of the wind,
258
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,836
Mr. Madison. Everybody's
talking about birds,
259
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:06,006
but nobody's talking
about my four grand.
260
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,960
It is lost in the wind...
261
00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:10,200
buying many improvements.
262
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,000
This is how it will be
at the end of six weeks.
263
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,286
Hmm. Huh?
264
00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:18,310
New rooms, air-conditioning,
bigger garden.
265
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:21,020
With your money, Miyako Gardens
266
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,640
will become number
one Japanese restaurant
267
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,320
in the entire city.
268
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:27,266
Well, couldn't you be number
two and try a little harder?
269
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:28,766
Oscar, guess what?
270
00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:30,316
That was my
daughter on the phone.
271
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,790
She only has two cavities!
272
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,540
Must be that new
toothpaste we're using.
273
00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:41,150
Now you know why he's
considered a pest over here.
274
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,026
Mr. Madison. Yes, sir?
275
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,650
The bird that
makes an extra egg...
276
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,296
Forget that. Let me
speak your language.
277
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,820
Without use of bird.
278
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,660
In this room alone,
I take in $800,
279
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:55,160
maybe $900 a week.
280
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,546
You're kidding? No.
281
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:58,876
Prom week, I break a thousand.
282
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,330
I have a take-out trade
283
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,916
that is dynamite with
the college crowd.
284
00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,566
They think it is hip to eat Nip.
285
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,820
Now, with the money
from you and Mr. Unger,
286
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,460
I can triple my profits
in three months,
287
00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:16,300
six tops.
288
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,676
You like the ponies, I
hear. Oh, yeah, I love them.
289
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,786
Here is gambling money for you.
290
00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:22,486
See, Mr. Yamada,
you talk very nice,
291
00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:25,110
but if it's such a good thing,
how come you're cutting us in?
292
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:27,300
Mr. Unger and I
293
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,940
have been close
friends for many years.
294
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:32,670
Hey, you've been selling
him those cameras?
295
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:37,780
Not quite. No. However...
296
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,256
We have known
each other long time.
297
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,506
We met one night on a beautiful
298
00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:43,830
tropical island.
299
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:46,440
I never forget. Beautiful place.
300
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,100
Warm breeze. Palm trees swaying.
301
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,876
Come on, Unger,
we're pulling out.
302
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,596
This place is
crawling with Nips.
303
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,486
You guys go
ahead. I'll catch up.
304
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:56,830
I'm just tidying up a little.
305
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,240
Yippaaah! Ah... what?!
306
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,080
You startled me for a
minute. I'm the only one here.
307
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:14,106
Everybody else is gone. Who you?
308
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:17,270
Unger, Felix, Second
Lieutenant, 01650295.
309
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,876
Why you here? Where others?
310
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,116
According to the
articles of war,
311
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:24,746
I don't have to tell
you anything more.
312
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,520
This article of war
313
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,696
want to know why you here alone?
314
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,966
Well, I was
policing up the area.
315
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,476
And I think you fellas
ought to do the same.
316
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,270
We passed through one of
your base camps a week ago.
317
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:38,310
The place was a mess.
318
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,196
Remember, this
is not our island.
319
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,326
We're only guests here.
320
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,610
You shut mouth. Water?
321
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,830
No, vichyssoise.
322
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,276
Vichy what?
323
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,770
Vichyssoise.
324
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,806
It's a cold potato soup
sprinkled with leeks.
325
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,376
Believe me, it was no easy job
326
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,516
to find leeks on this isl...
327
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,386
May I remind you that
it's a serious breach
328
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:02,280
of regulations to confiscate
personal property...
329
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,656
You're supposed
to sip it slowly.
330
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,620
It's good, isn't it, huh?
331
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:11,950
I have not eaten in week.
332
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,266
I have been "rost."
333
00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:14,570
Lost?
334
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,230
"Rost."
335
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,606
They told us this place
was just infested with Nips...
336
00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:22,810
uh, with... you people.
337
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,630
Don't believe
everything you hear.
338
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,260
They told me I'd be
making love to Betty Grable
339
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,860
on White House
lawn by Christmas.
340
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,040
Food in here?
341
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:36,066
No, no. That's just
garbage. Leave it alone, no.
342
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,936
I've got some food
here. I've got a fish,
343
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,976
I've got some vegetables.
Ah, you give me.
344
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,976
If you'll be patient,
I'll fix you something.
345
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,280
Hayako! Fast!
346
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,246
I can't cook with a
gun pointing at me.
347
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,830
Why don't you sit down
like a nice guy and relax?
348
00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,340
How'd you get lost?
349
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,866
I was a Kamikaze pilot. Uh-huh.
350
00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:57,450
I got nervous and
make a safe landing.
351
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,300
Why didn't you go back?
352
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,930
They only gave me one-way map.
353
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,916
Maybe you can be my
prisoner and come with us.
354
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,770
Yeah, maybe.
355
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,736
First, I see how I
like your cooking.
356
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,770
You will.
357
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,046
Tell me, are all
Americans like you?
358
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,810
No. I'm especially nice.
359
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:25,770
I feel it's important to
present America in a good light
360
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,400
to all our neighbors,
friendly and other wise.
361
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,380
Are you with the Red Cross?
362
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,770
No. Are they here, too?
363
00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:34,180
I've seen a lot of half eaten
364
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,810
doughnuts around.
365
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:37,620
How do you like your fish?
366
00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:39,966
Raw. Don't be silly.
367
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,596
You'll like it the
way I cook it.
368
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:42,766
No, I like raw.
369
00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,106
That's a good way
to catch hepatitis.
370
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:46,980
I want raw.
371
00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:50,020
Absolutely not. I'm the host.
372
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,360
I have gun.
373
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,676
I have the fish.
374
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:55,260
You give me raw...
375
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,386
And that is the
first time in my life
376
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:00,850
I ever ate cooked fish.
377
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:02,190
Did you get hepatitis?
378
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,910
No. See, he was right again.
379
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:07,456
We have been friends ever since.
380
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,466
Look, Mr. Yamada,
I'm gonna level with you.
381
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:10,696
I know that you're honest
382
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,316
and you're sincere
and honorable,
383
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,016
but I had other
plans for my money.
384
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,886
Huh? Yeah, I want
to buy a fantastic car.
385
00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:18,500
A '58 Maserati. I know where
I can get one for four grand.
386
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,420
I would like to invite you
387
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,930
to the back to my parking lot.
388
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,146
Why? What's there?
A brand new Maserati.
389
00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:26,546
This year's model.
Which I buy from the profits
390
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,146
in this business. Now
you're making a lot of sense.
391
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:30,450
Ah, Yamada-san.
392
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,586
You see these four? Mm-hmm.
393
00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:37,440
Steadies. Twice a week.
394
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:38,826
Live ones, huh?
395
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:41,226
Hey, that's nice.
Yamada-san, excuse me.
396
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,566
Felix, I owe you an apology.
397
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:44,120
I may owe you one.
398
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:45,596
Yamada-san, may I
speak to you please
399
00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:47,236
about the condition
of your kitchen?
400
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:49,236
Of course. What
could be the problem?
401
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:51,506
Come with me, please. Did
you see his new Maserati?
402
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:54,090
If it's on the floor of
the kitchen, I've seen it.
403
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,630
Oh, boy.
404
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,030
Ah... you entertainment?
405
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,450
No, my foot went to sleep.
406
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,796
Look at this! There's
food everywhere.
407
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:07,636
There's meat, fish on the floor,
408
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,936
on the table, everywhere.
409
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,876
But it is dinnertime,
it's busy in here.
410
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,146
We'll clean everything up.
411
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,676
It's not the cleanliness factor,
412
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,076
it's the way the old
man cooks. Ah...
413
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,076
This is Cho San,
one of the best.
414
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,660
Cho San, meet Mr. Unger.
415
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,100
Hello, how are you?
416
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:26,120
I am fine.
417
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:30,790
He is from Stanford.
418
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,496
Can't you tell him not
to waste so much food?
419
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,666
But this is the way we
make Harusame soup.
420
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,450
It's our biggest seller.
421
00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:41,506
Look at this! 20
percent of the food
422
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:43,706
goes on the floor.
This is waste.
423
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,230
Go slowly.
424
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,346
Put everything
in the pot neatly.
425
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,496
He cannot understand
you, Mr. Unger.
426
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,726
Then I'll speak to him
in his own language.
427
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,250
What'd he say?
428
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,916
He say, "You take this
whole kitchen and..."
429
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,946
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
430
00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:11,536
But he's quitting. He's leaving.
431
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:12,910
Good. Let him go.
432
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,586
We'll get another cook
tomorrow. Tonight you'll cook.
433
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,760
Oh, no, I cannot cook.
434
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,136
I could not cook on Guadalcanal.
435
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,006
I have not improved
since. Hey, what's going on?
436
00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:21,656
The old man's out
there choking a chicken!
437
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,480
It's nothing to
get excited about.
438
00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:25,996
Nothing at all to
get excited about.
439
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,246
I'll cook tonight.
440
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:29,116
Send the waiter in,
I'll give him his orders.
441
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,256
No, no, he is gone.
442
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,686
He is nephew of the old man.
443
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,126
They are both gone, I'm sure.
444
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,376
Felix, what are you doing to
my investment? They both quit?
445
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,946
Don't worry about
it. I'll cook tonight.
446
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:39,246
You two will work as waiters.
447
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,790
Ha! You make mistake.
448
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:43,620
I am not waiter
here. I am boss here.
449
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,390
As Kurosawa say,
450
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,716
"You make sleeping
place, now lay in it."
451
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:49,640
Felix, he's right.
452
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,656
For a silent partner,
you've got a big mouth.
453
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,240
He's a very stubborn man.
454
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,116
Sir, make up with
him. You're old friends.
455
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,420
Go ahead.
456
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,200
I am now silent partner.
457
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,620
Don't be a bad bird.
458
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,276
If, as they say, we
are what we eat,
459
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,860
then your friend is a meatball.
460
00:19:09,820 --> 00:19:11,190
Did you hear what he said?
461
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,526
Nothing to worry about.
462
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,766
Nothing. Everything's
going to be fine.
463
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,070
It better.
464
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,046
Chicken who
invest friend's money
465
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:18,730
and lose it, get "prucked"!
466
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,780
Where's Ito?
467
00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:26,170
Oh, I'm replacing him tonight.
468
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:27,690
Don't worry about anything.
469
00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:30,246
Everything is going to be
just as good as it always was.
470
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,976
Don't worry. Am I not authentic?
471
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,630
No, but you dangerous.
472
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,440
Haso.
473
00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:37,510
Haso. Haso.
474
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:40,450
Haso. Hot, hot, hot!
475
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,440
Oh! Watch me.
476
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,380
Haso. Haso.
477
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:46,826
How's everything going?
Everything's going fine.
478
00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,626
I'm making ooona.
I need some shrimp,
479
00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:50,636
some crab and
some bamboo shoots.
480
00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:52,066
What are you doing
with those knives?
481
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,236
They're big! They
want authentic food,
482
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,536
they're going to get it.
483
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,620
Felix, can't you do that
with wooden spoons?
484
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,426
Hey, this is great.
What is that?
485
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,800
Eel.
486
00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:21,126
Listen, where's
the shrimp, the crab
487
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,266
and the bamboo shoots?
488
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,570
And the first aid kit?
489
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,206
It's okay, it's all
right. Keep calm.
490
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:30,706
It's just an accident.
Just an accident.
491
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,876
It could happen to anybody.
492
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,340
It was the soy oil on my hands.
493
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,230
We'll pay for your purse, madam.
494
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,416
Sit down. Sit down.
It's coming along now.
495
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,286
I'm getting the hang
of it. It's coming nicely...
496
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,546
What happened? What
happened? Nothing.
497
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:43,186
Nothing at all! Everything
is working out beautifully.
498
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,256
I'm getting the hang of it
now. Hey, wait'll you see
499
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,840
who I got to help
us. Come on in.
500
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,170
Tokyo Nose.
501
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,800
Ah, Cho San.
502
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,206
I talk to you later.
Come on now,
503
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,876
you've got to help us. You've
got to go in and stop him.
504
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,346
He threw a knife in the
wall. He cut a woman's purse.
505
00:21:07,370 --> 00:21:08,976
I'm telling you, if
you don't stop him,
506
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,916
you're gonna see the first
stainless steel samurai.
507
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:13,980
Come on, he can't
cook those dishes.
508
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,140
He make me lose face.
509
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,770
Well, if you don't help
him, you're gonna lose shirt!
510
00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:26,140
It's good, huh?
Everything's fine now.
511
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:27,546
Felix, do you see the smoke?
512
00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:29,980
Uh-huh, can you smell it?
513
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,540
They can smell it in Japan.
514
00:21:32,890 --> 00:21:34,290
That's part of the meal.
515
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,730
What do you serve for
dessert, a fire extinguisher?
516
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,000
This is good. This is good.
517
00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:43,630
Where's Murray? I
need some sesame oil.
518
00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,280
Murray. Murray, quick!
519
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:48,866
I need some
sesame oil. Hurry, run.
520
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,406
Sesame oil. Murray!
521
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:51,736
Murray! Yeah?
522
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,376
These aren't bean
sprouts, those are pea pods.
523
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,536
I need bean sprouts.
Yeah, and hurry. Yeah.
524
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,476
And really hurry up.
Murray! What? What?!
525
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,546
You only brought me
three eggs, I need six eggs.
526
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:02,130
Three eggs, six eggs, right.
527
00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:14,696
You did it again. You
had to go being a show-off.
528
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,166
Well, I don't think it was my
food that made them leave.
529
00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:19,636
Well, you threw the knife
in the wall, that's what did it!
530
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,496
I'm not the one who
went through the door.
531
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,120
Let's put it this way: they
had no reason to stay.
532
00:22:26,710 --> 00:22:28,110
Air conditioning.
533
00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:32,780
Knife hole in the
wall, nice decoration.
534
00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:34,590
Charcoaled eel.
535
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:37,750
No more customers,
536
00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:40,490
which is okay because I
no longer have any help.
537
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,330
That's a nice balance.
538
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,960
You finally got even
for Pearl Harbor.
539
00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:51,016
Is there any way we
can make it up to you?
540
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,246
We're sorry. It was an accident.
541
00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:53,486
Look, we'll send you a check.
542
00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:55,330
No, no. I'll send you a check.
543
00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:57,616
Oh, no, no. We wouldn't think
544
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,886
of accepting payment
for tonight's work.
545
00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:01,706
Felix, I don't think
he'd insist on that.
546
00:23:01,730 --> 00:23:04,040
No, I meant I send you a check
547
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:06,960
to release you from your
obligations as partners.
548
00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:10,630
I think I will get a
real silent partner.
549
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,430
Maybe Howard Hughes.
550
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:16,200
Yamada-san,
551
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,856
is this going to
affect our friendship?
552
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,640
Oh, not at all. Our
friendship is ended.
553
00:23:22,870 --> 00:23:24,540
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
554
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,186
It was an accident. We'll leave.
555
00:23:26,210 --> 00:23:27,786
We won't bother you
anymore. Terribly sorry.
556
00:23:27,810 --> 00:23:29,956
I'm sorry, Yamada.
You know how I...
557
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,650
Before we leave, there's one
thing I did want to say to you.
558
00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:34,640
These lanterns...
559
00:23:34,710 --> 00:23:36,456
these are not Japanese lanterns.
560
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:37,910
These are Chinese.
561
00:24:23,350 --> 00:24:26,280
Felix?
562
00:24:26,350 --> 00:24:28,596
What're you doing?
Nothing. Nothing.
563
00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:30,070
You caught me again, didn't you?
564
00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:32,070
What? Doing what?
565
00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,580
Stealing your money.
566
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,200
Go to sleep. Go back to sleep.
567
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:52,260
Harry?
568
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,820
In two years am I going
to have a bet for you.
37327
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