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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:06,290 The poor suckers have no idea what they're being exposed to. 2 00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,960 It'd be hilarious if it wasn't so funny. 3 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,770 Morning, Raul. 4 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,980 What? I'm not doing anything. Hagar wanted me to get a file. 5 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:27,840 Sounds great. Have a good one. 6 00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:35,320 Hey, Raul. You get a haircut? 7 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,390 'Cause you look terrific. 8 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:37,720 Give me the number. 9 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,660 My husband's always looking for a place. 10 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:41,920 Yeah, absolutely. 11 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,200 Rauuuul... 12 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,340 You forgot to sign... 13 00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:59,610 Keith's birthday card. 14 00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:03,210 Okay. 15 00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:09,220 Oh. 16 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,090 Morning. 17 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:13,490 You want me to grab that for ya? 18 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,230 Uh, it's fine. The mailbox is right there. 19 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,290 I'll just shove it in. Right. 20 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,760 Wouldn't it be quicker for you just to give it to me? 21 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,760 It's kind of sensitive information. That's all. 22 00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:24,770 Maybe it's something you shouldn't be mailing, then. 23 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,210 Morning. 24 00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:48,260 I'm afraid my parasitic illness has progressed more rapidly 25 00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:51,060 than doctors anticipated. 26 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,330 Scholls, would you... 27 00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:54,870 Raul Chamgerlain worked at the offices 28 00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:55,870 of Hagar & Marmaduke 29 00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,870 as a law clerk until he was mailed to death 30 00:01:57,870 --> 00:02:01,470 at 10:25 a.m. yesterday, just missing the morning pickup. 31 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:04,810 Let me guess... Hagar & Marmaduke represents Veggelon, 32 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:07,540 the largest industrial-farming company in America. 33 00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:09,810 Veggelon raised eyebrows at the EPA 34 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:11,550 when they released a new pesticide, 35 00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:13,220 and a study was commissioned. 36 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,690 Once their lawyers got involved, 37 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:17,350 all of a sudden, the study vanished. 38 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,020 Good guess. That's exactly right. 39 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:20,560 Let me also guess... 40 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,560 Chamgerlain had the goods on Veggelon 41 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,360 and was gonna sing like a canary. 42 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:25,830 That's also exactly right, 43 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:28,360 and he missed the concert because of his death. Oh. 44 00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:30,500 I'm the most perceptive person anyone's ever met, 45 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:33,370 and I still can't figure out how this involves us. 46 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,570 Although, you really dislike Tribeca. 47 00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:38,110 Something happened between you. 48 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,510 That's ridiculous. 49 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,980 I love Tribeca. 50 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,180 Don't you people see? 51 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:48,390 The government is powerless 52 00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:50,790 against these giant corporations. 53 00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,390 Sorry. Not powerless. 54 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,660 Paid by. 55 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:55,860 Veggelon has unleashed this pesticide 56 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,390 on the town of Cheyenne, Wyoming, 57 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,000 and in addition to having to live there, 58 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,930 people are already experiencing health issues. 59 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,000 But all their complaints 60 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,870 are being squashed by Veggelon's lawyers. 61 00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:05,940 So we're gonna take 'em down. 62 00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:08,200 Hagar & Marmaduke, Veggelon, 63 00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:10,070 and maybe a few townspeople 64 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:12,010 just to let 'em know we're really serious. 65 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:13,410 Whoa. 66 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,350 So we're actually fighting evil people 67 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,280 for the sake of innocent people. 68 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,280 We're the good guys. 69 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,420 You see, Tribeca, the Special Division Force is a good force. 70 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,620 It's a force for truth and justice. 71 00:03:26,630 --> 00:03:29,960 Scholls, pass out the phony law degrees. 72 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,170 Ooh. 73 00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:48,110 In this case, the patient regrew neurons 74 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:50,180 in the same area, resulting in... 75 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,650 increased motor function and tactile sensitivity 76 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,380 that continued to... 77 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,000 Mm. Mm. Mm. 78 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,200 This just feels wrong. 79 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,470 That's my phone. Mm. 80 00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:13,740 What about the team? 81 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:15,410 Don't you think they're starting to suspect? 82 00:04:15,410 --> 00:04:16,810 Oh, trust me, they're clueless. 83 00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:19,880 Mm. Mm. They're so going to plow-town. 84 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:21,610 That's my son. 85 00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:26,220 Soon to be your grandson, am I right? 86 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,820 What about the age difference? 87 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,220 You're 24. I'm 23. 88 00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:31,490 Yeah, and in 20 years, we'll both be the same age. 89 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,160 I just know this is gonna go south somehow. 90 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,230 I'm counting on it. Mm. 91 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,560 Wait, Murphy, who's driving? 92 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:47,040 Ms. Blatt, it is your contention that the toxic pesticides 93 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,910 used by Veggelon have caused you grievous and irreparable harm. 94 00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,980 Objection. Objection. 95 00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:54,240 You do not have to answer that. 96 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,850 I don't? No, you don't. 97 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:59,120 Excuse me, honey. Give Mommy one second, okay? 98 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,780 I'm Conney Sparzner, 99 00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:03,190 and I'll be representing Ms. Blatt in this case. 100 00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:06,790 I just got my law license after 15 years of being a homemaker. 101 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,990 My husband was laid off from the deodorant plant, 102 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,790 so I kinda had to pick up the slack. 103 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,730 We don't need to know all that. 104 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,000 Again, Ms. Blatt, you're claiming 105 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,270 that you suffered harm due to my client's use of pesticides. 106 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,740 And yet, you seem perfectly fine. 107 00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:23,870 In what way did these FDA-approved pesticides 108 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,480 cause you any health issues? 109 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,080 I've been getting headaches, nose bleeds, 110 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,280 and I've been diagnosed with high blood pressure. 111 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,350 All of which could be pre-existing conditions. 112 00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:33,750 Ms. Sparzner, let me give you 113 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,150 your first real-world experience as a lawyer... 114 00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:38,020 You have no case, and you're gonna lose. 115 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:41,160 This is America, where the evil guys always win at first. 116 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,460 Then I guess I'll see you later in the story. 117 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,960 We got this. 118 00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:54,710 This pesticide is some pretty nasty business. 119 00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:56,310 It penetrates the blood-brain barrier 120 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,480 and disrupts the endocrine system. 121 00:05:59,510 --> 00:06:02,510 It looks pretty innocuous. 122 00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:04,720 How is it at killing pests? Unbeatable. 123 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,520 Doesn't even compare to the stuff you can get at the store. 124 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,050 Sir, no. 125 00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,390 It'll have no effect on the parasite. 126 00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:11,650 I got to do something. 127 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,260 It's starting to affect my work, 128 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:15,860 and things are starting to feel very loose inside. 129 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,260 Hey, don't worry about it, Chief. 130 00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:19,060 We've got you covered. Charo and I go undercover 131 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,860 at Hagar & Marmaduke this afternoon. 132 00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,600 Scholls? Headed to my new job 133 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,740 at Veggelon's processing facility. 134 00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:25,800 Tribeca? 135 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,340 I'm gonna go sit with Dorothy Blatt 136 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,670 and hear her story, but if I don't get back by 4:00, 137 00:06:29,670 --> 00:06:31,270 I'm gonna have to pump again. 138 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,010 Oh. Oh, what? I'm sorry. 139 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:37,080 Is my making food for my child offending you? 140 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,020 And after that, we try a motion for dismissal 141 00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:44,090 on the grounds of insufficient standing. 142 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:47,760 And if that doesn't work, we move to disqualify the evidence. 143 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,890 - Any questions? - Yeah, I have one. 144 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,090 Can you, uh, explain the strategy 145 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:54,900 behind the defense of Veggelon's pesticide? 146 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:59,100 That's what we've been doing for the past hour and a half. 147 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,240 I'm sorry, who are you? 148 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,510 Uh, this is Morton... 149 00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:05,840 Peppercorn. 150 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,980 He is one of the new associates. 151 00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,050 And who are you? 152 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:14,120 Sh... That's, uh, Marla... Flender. 153 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,920 The other new associate. 154 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,190 I wasn't aware that we brought on any new associates. 155 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:19,760 Oh, yeah. I-It was in the memo. 156 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:22,860 All right, Flender, 157 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,000 here's everything we have on the plaintiff, Dorothy Blatt. 158 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,000 Find anything we can use to discredit her. 159 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,200 Peppercorn, research these precedents. 160 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,140 Find any support for getting the evidence tossed. 161 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:36,810 You're Flender! You're Peppercorn! 162 00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,480 Okay. Now get to work. 163 00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:48,280 After the baby carrots are pulled from their mothers, 164 00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:49,690 they're brought here. 165 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:51,090 You see this robot? 166 00:07:51,090 --> 00:07:53,690 It sorts the good carrots from the bad. 167 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,430 Make sure it stays on. 168 00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:56,630 Think you can handle it? 169 00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:58,500 Seems easy enough. 170 00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,160 Whoa! 171 00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:04,100 You gotta wear these. 172 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,770 Never touch the carrots with your bare hands. 173 00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:08,370 Now glove up and get to it. 174 00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,840 We have a shipment for the preschool that leaves at 2:00. 175 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,580 Are you aware of the use 176 00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:15,050 of dangerous pesticides by Veggelon? 177 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:18,250 Listen, lady, I just train people to keep the robot on 178 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:21,080 and to add dangerous pesticides to the carrots. 179 00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:30,930 Yep, I see it. 180 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:33,000 That's a parasite, all right. 181 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,200 Uh, I don't mean to question your credentials, Dr. Zaius, 182 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,670 but as I remember, you got your doctorate in Art? 183 00:08:38,670 --> 00:08:40,600 Is the human body not the world's 184 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,070 most beautiful piece of art? 185 00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:43,210 I guess. 186 00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:45,410 The theory of this treatment is that the only thing 187 00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:49,880 that can kill a parasite is a more powerful parasite. 188 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:53,850 This is an egg salad sandwich that was made on Monday. 189 00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:57,420 Mm, that doesn't sound so bad. 190 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,160 Monday 2008. 191 00:09:08,770 --> 00:09:11,370 Okay, now that you've finished your snack, 192 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,570 let's begin your treatment. 193 00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:15,710 Nurse, the specimen, please. 194 00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:18,710 This is Cymothoa exigua, 195 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:20,640 the tongue-eating sea louse. 196 00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:22,180 Once we introduce it into your system, 197 00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:24,920 it will begin consuming everything inside your body, 198 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,520 hopefully beginning with your parasite. 199 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,250 After that, it's just a race to see who dies first... you or it. 200 00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:33,320 I like my chances. 201 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,960 All right, here we go. 202 00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:40,800 Oh, boy. That's really on there. 203 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,200 All right, that's not moving. 204 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,670 You want me to give it a shot? 205 00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,600 No, no, no. I got it. 206 00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:48,140 I thought I felt it budge. 207 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,870 Oh, maybe it opens the other way. 208 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,010 Nope. That just tightened it. 209 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,280 Sometimes if you bang it, then... 210 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,350 No, no, no. This is coming off. 211 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:01,280 Wow! This just does not want to budge. 212 00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,690 Gah! My hand's starting to hurt. 213 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,160 Oh, maybe if I use the other hand. 214 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,560 That's ridiculous. 215 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,090 I don't have enough strength in this hand. 216 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,490 Maybe your hands are sweaty? 217 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,760 Oh, they're very sweaty. Okay, this is it. 218 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,430 This is the part where I just pop it off 219 00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:15,570 and everything gets moving. 220 00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:16,770 Here we go. 221 00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:18,570 Haahh! Gosh darn it! 222 00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,370 This thing's on really tight! 223 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:25,310 Maybe the key is to... 224 00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:26,510 hit it suddenly! 225 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:29,180 Baaah! 226 00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:31,780 I'm making this more difficult than it is. 227 00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:33,650 Sometimes if you run it under warm wat... 228 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:35,320 No, the faucet's all the way down the hall. 229 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,450 That seems like a waste of time. 230 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:42,330 Maybe if I push down on it and then turn it... 231 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:43,660 Hey! Looky there! 232 00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:44,930 Now we know how to do it. 233 00:10:44,930 --> 00:10:47,730 So, it's push down and... 234 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,330 now it's not moving again. 235 00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:57,670 Charo, check it out. 236 00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,410 Dorothy Blatt is a total fraud. 237 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:00,740 Take a look. 238 00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,750 She's been involved in over 200 lawsuits. 239 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,150 She sued Crest Whitestrips 240 00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:05,880 because they made her teeth too white. 241 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,080 She sued Subway because the stores were above ground. 242 00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,220 And she sued Folgers because it wasn't the best part 243 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,760 of waking up. Jesus. 5 aliases, 10 years in jail... 244 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,160 Yeah, and take a look at her rap sheet. 245 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,160 What? She tried to rhyme "miracle" with "spiritual"? 246 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,960 That's whack. No. I'm no lawyer, 247 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960 but I think this makes her a vexatious litigant. 248 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,360 Which means that my mother's 249 00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:22,830 fighting on the wrong side. Again. 250 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,230 She's gonna lose her mind. 251 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,900 Exactly. That's why we can't tell her. 252 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,300 What? What are you talking about? 253 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,370 That's my mother. 254 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:29,770 You don't hatch from someone's egg 255 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:30,840 and then keep secrets. What? 256 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,180 If she finds out that Blatt's a fraud, 257 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:34,240 she'll drop the case, and Veggelon will win. 258 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,580 Is that what you want? No, but if they didn't do anything wrong... 259 00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:39,050 You saw the labs. That stuff is poison. 260 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,380 You mom has to be on her game and win this case. 261 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:43,790 Do you remember what happened the last time she lost it? 262 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,720 She sent me away to boarding school. I was 2. 263 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,860 Yeah, and how did that make you feel? 264 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,860 The older kids used to make fun of me 265 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,130 'cause my skull hadn't closed. 266 00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:53,400 Veggelon has to lose this case. 267 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,870 You understand? 268 00:11:54,870 --> 00:11:57,670 - I mean, I guess... - They have to lose, okay?! 269 00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,400 Okay, okay. 270 00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:03,070 Good boy. 271 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,680 Your Honor, in light of recent new evidence, 272 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:13,880 we would like to ask that the case 273 00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:16,150 of Blatt v. Veggelon be dismissed. 274 00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:17,950 And what new evidence is that? 275 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,360 That you guys are pure evil? 276 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,690 Order! Order! Order! 277 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,960 I'd like that medium rare. Thank you. 278 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,630 Mr. Hagar, on what grounds 279 00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,170 should I be dismissing this lawsuit? 280 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,570 Exhibit A. 281 00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:31,970 Neanderthal man. 282 00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:34,170 And this is a record of Dorothy Blatt's visit 283 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,640 to a doctor three years ago, 284 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:39,380 long before any exposure to Veggelon's delicious pesticide. 285 00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:41,110 And, as you can see, 286 00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:42,710 the doctor has listed as symptoms... 287 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,050 Headaches, nose bleeds, and high blood pressure. 288 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,650 Pre-existing conditions. 289 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:50,990 Wait a second. 290 00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:53,860 This isn't a medical record. 291 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,860 This is a blank job application for Best Buy. 292 00:12:56,860 --> 00:13:00,260 Damn it. She's got us. Veggelon is ruined. 293 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,600 Make that check out to "Fraud Squad, LLC." 294 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,200 That's the name of my loan-out company. 295 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,540 This isn't right. What are you doing? 296 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:09,140 I'm not gonna stand by and let an innocent gigantic corporation 297 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:12,010 get trampled by a single middle-aged woman. 298 00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:15,080 Your Honor, I submit that Dorothy Blatt, 299 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:19,550 a.k.a. Dorothy Blart, a.k.a. Mrs. Stephen Blart, 300 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:24,150 a.k.a. Mrs. Stephen Conway, a.k.a. Stephen Conway, 301 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,220 a.k.a. Inmate Number 8675309, 302 00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:31,560 has been the plaintiff in over 200 lawsuits, 303 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,700 none of which have any merit. 304 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,830 Her real name should be Sue Happy. 305 00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:38,100 I remember you. 306 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:41,700 You sued Grape Nuts for being neither grapes nor nuts. 307 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,040 Well, what the hell are they?! 308 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,040 Gravel-tastin' mutant cereal. 309 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,640 It is the opinion of this court 310 00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:49,110 that the case of Blatt v. Veggelon be dis... 311 00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:50,250 Objection, Your Honor! 312 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,520 Permission to speak to opposing counsel. 313 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,720 Flender, is it? 314 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,720 Oh, my God. 315 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,190 That's Flender. That's Peppercorn. 316 00:13:58,190 --> 00:14:01,720 Sure. I'll see where you're going with this. 317 00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:03,330 Oh, you're going over there. 318 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,530 Ow! Why are you tanking my case? 319 00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:06,860 We gotta take these guys down. 320 00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:08,600 Your client is a fraud, Mama. 321 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,070 A criminal. 322 00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:12,540 Yeah, well, you know who else was a criminal? Me. 323 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:13,940 20 years' worth. 324 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,010 Just because this woman had made a mistake 325 00:14:15,010 --> 00:14:16,940 doesn't mean she's not entitled to justice. 326 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,880 This isn't justice. So, I guess... 327 00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:23,550 It's on. 328 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:24,820 It's on, all right. 329 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:29,150 Your Honor, in spite of everything that was just said... 330 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:32,360 No need to relive it... I move not to dismiss the case, 331 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,760 but to continue it under Statute... 21-C? 332 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,430 Of Wyoming Civil Code? 333 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,300 Continuance granted. 334 00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:42,900 This court is in recess. 335 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:55,580 Have you two lost your minds?! 336 00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:56,650 Sorry, I'm on edge. 337 00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:59,720 I have an insatiable snail 338 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,790 eating every calorie I take into my body. 339 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:08,320 This woman has a case. 340 00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,730 It doesn't matter who she was before. 341 00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,930 The company has abused the law 342 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,660 and abused the rights of our citizens. 343 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,330 Isn't that what we're fighting for? 344 00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:17,470 - No. - No. No! 345 00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,600 That's not exactly it. Look, it's Dorothy Blatt, 346 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,340 or whatever her name is, that's abusing the law here. 347 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,340 Law! Law! Law! 348 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,610 What part of "outside the law" 349 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:30,350 or "beyond the scope of normal law enforcement" don't you get? 350 00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:35,020 We're a Special Division Force, not a Division Force. 351 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:38,420 The Vice President has lost interest in this case, 352 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:39,960 and, therefore, so have we. 353 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,760 The company killed a man for what he knew! 354 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,760 Companies kill people! 355 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,230 That's capitalism. 356 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:49,970 What are we, huh? 357 00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:52,240 We just take and drop cases 358 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,640 as it suits the Vice President's whims? 359 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,310 I spent 20 years in prison, 360 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:58,810 and this is what the world is now? 361 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,450 Scholls? 362 00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:05,720 You and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye, 363 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,450 but you know what this company is doing. 364 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:12,320 You've seen their carrots up close. 365 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:16,530 Those defenseless, little baby carrots. 366 00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:19,660 I had a baby once. 367 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:23,470 And I loved him more than I've ever loved anything. 368 00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,540 And then I found out that he was your baby. 369 00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,600 And you took him from me, and you sent him away 370 00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:31,210 without even asking me if I wanted to take care of him. 371 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:34,610 And now that baby's all grown up, and he's back. 372 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:36,750 But he's still all yours. 373 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:40,150 And I come to work here every day with my heart torn in half. 374 00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:43,090 And I don't say a word about it. 375 00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,620 That's what I've become. 376 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:47,460 That's the world now. 377 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:52,360 I didn't know. 378 00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,370 Okay, can we get back to my thing now? 379 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,430 Time to go, Tribeca. 380 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,100 We're moving out. 381 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,370 I'm not going anywhere. 382 00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:05,510 Let justice be done though the heavens fall. 383 00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:07,110 This lawsuit is garbage. 384 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,310 I'm dismissing it immediately. 385 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:11,580 Yeah! Whoo! 386 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,260 This view taken? 387 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:28,460 Nah. There's plenty to go around. 388 00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:29,870 Whiskey? 389 00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:31,670 Yeah, if you're drinking. 390 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:38,410 Looks like I lost my case. 391 00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:40,880 Looks that way. 392 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,550 Felt good for a second. 393 00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:43,810 You know? 394 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:46,150 Fighting for innocent people, 395 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,490 going up against the bully. 396 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:55,360 I was thinking about what you said about the world now. 397 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:59,760 And I know A.J.'s not my son, but he was once, 398 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,370 and this is the world he's gonna inherit. 399 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,700 And maybe it can be better than this. 400 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,640 Not with me as its lawyer. 401 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,310 Maybe you just need a little expert advice. 402 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:15,780 Tribeca, this is my uncle, Leonard Scholls. 403 00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,910 Nice to meet you. 404 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:23,320 Beautiful night. 405 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,920 Whiskey? 406 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,860 I brought my own. 407 00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:33,060 You know, I did a little lawyering myself 408 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,460 back in my day. 409 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:38,330 You ever hear of Brown vs. the Board of Education? 410 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,670 Yeah. 411 00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:41,870 Well, I lost that one, 412 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:45,610 but I did pick up a few things along the way. 413 00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:47,210 Oh, yeah? 414 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,280 You need a class-action suit. 415 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,480 No. 416 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,220 They can tie that up for years. 417 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,890 They have the money and the manpower. 418 00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:57,290 Not if you can convince the majority of your plaintiffs 419 00:18:57,290 --> 00:19:00,820 to opt for binding arbitration. 420 00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,690 Binding arbitration? Mm-hmm. 421 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:05,030 That's it. Then the court has to hear it immediately. 422 00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:07,360 That's the exact solution from "Erin Brockovich." 423 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:09,170 Uncle Leonard, you're a genius. 424 00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:11,300 Yeah, well, Earl Warren didn't think so, 425 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,040 but I appreciate the thought. 426 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,460 Yes, Mr. Vice President. 427 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:43,130 Okay. Joe. 428 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,000 Everything went exactly according to plan. 429 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,810 Charo played them like a Stradivarius. 430 00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,140 It's a kind of violin. 431 00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,480 Veggelon's going to be bankrupt after this, 432 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,550 leaving all of Wyoming open for French development. 433 00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:59,280 I told some cockamamie story about missing my baby, 434 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,480 and they ate it up. 435 00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,950 Okay, sweetheart. 436 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,360 I love you. 437 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,620 No,you hang up fir... 438 00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:09,090 Oh. 439 00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:11,160 You did. 32124

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