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1
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♪ Oh, my darling ♪
2
00:00:07,290 --> 00:00:09,030
♪ Oh, my darling ♪
3
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:13,160
♪ Oh, my darling, Clementine ♪
4
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,630
♪ You are lost and gone for... ♪
5
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,800
These armadillos are getting
to be a goddamn menace.
6
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:51,400
Why don't they just build cars
out of armadillo skin?
7
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,740
Well, shit, Larry.
8
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,270
That's a million-dollar idea
you got there.
9
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:59,280
It'd be a real shame
if someone... stole it from ya.
10
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,150
Someone's coming.
11
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:03,340
Afternoon, boys.
12
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,880
I appreciate your service,
13
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,510
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to take it from here.
14
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,620
Fine by us.
15
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:15,290
I said, I'm gonna
take it from here!
16
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,630
I've recently been handed
a rather bleak diagnosis
17
00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:27,700
and may not have much
longer on this earth,
18
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:32,400
so I thought to myself, what a
perfect time to adopt a baby.
19
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:36,640
What's going on here?
20
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,240
What is
the Special Division Force?
21
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,840
I told you, we take on cases...
22
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,780
I know what the official
explanation is,
23
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:45,850
but I want to know
what we're really doing.
24
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:48,520
Right now,
our only job is to follow
25
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,320
the orders
of the Vice President.
26
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,850
Vice President Perry?
27
00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:53,920
The man who not only
threw me into jail
28
00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,330
but whose administration
has been plagued by scandal
29
00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:57,530
since he was elected?
30
00:02:57,530 --> 00:02:59,000
He's no John Nance Garner,
31
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,200
but he's the only
Vice President we've got!
32
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,870
John Nance Garner?
33
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:05,870
He's barely Schuyler Colfax.
34
00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:11,540
Sir, how do we know
if we're even the good guys?
35
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,850
Tribeca, look me in the eye.
36
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,880
We are the good guys.
37
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,950
I stole the dead teacher
from the cops.
38
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,420
Now what?
39
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,700
His name is Charlie Clef.
40
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,300
Come on, Hoffman.
Sorry, Murphy.
41
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,030
Above your pay grade.
42
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,970
He was a beloved
computer science teacher
43
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:43,040
at Freddie Prinze Junior Senior
High School in Amarillo, Texas.
44
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,910
He was also the most
prolific distributor
45
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,840
of malware and computer exploits
in the Northern Hemisphere.
46
00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:50,310
His clients included
terrorist organizations,
47
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,650
hostile foreign governments,
48
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,520
and people who want
to see celebrities naked.
49
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,520
So now he's dead.
End of story, right?
50
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,850
Wrong.
Beginning of story.
51
00:03:57,860 --> 00:03:59,860
Clef had just put
the finishing touches
52
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,660
on a particularly
damaging computer virus.
53
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,790
The kind of thing that
shuts down power grids
54
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,730
and publishes
your browsing history.
55
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:10,070
So now he's dead.
End of story, right?
56
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,200
Wrong!
57
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,140
Middle of story!
58
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:16,140
His death provides us
with a unique opportunity
59
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:19,680
to take his place and flush out
a high-profile buyer
60
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,540
who recently
expressed interest in...
61
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:22,880
What was the name of the virus?
62
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:23,950
LamarModem.
63
00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:26,220
Tribeca will impersonate Clef
64
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:28,020
and try to make contact
with the buyer
65
00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,690
while the rest of us infiltrate
the high school genre
66
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,090
in supporting roles.
67
00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:33,290
I have one question.
68
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,360
One sec.
69
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,690
Any questions?
Uh, yes.
70
00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:36,890
Will you be taking questions?
71
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,430
At the end.
Anything else?
72
00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:40,360
Is Vice President Perry a crook?
73
00:04:40,370 --> 00:04:42,700
I am warning you, Tribeca!
74
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,440
Now get to Prosthetics
for your disguise fitting!
75
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,800
Yes, sir.
76
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,770
Hey. What the hell
is with you?
77
00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:52,310
Don't talk to me like that.
78
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:53,780
I didn't raise you
to be disrespectful.
79
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,310
You didn't raise me at all.
80
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:56,650
So it didn't come from me.
81
00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:58,720
Look, I-I read
your autobiography, okay?
82
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,720
I know that you're
a lone wolf that...
83
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,120
That doesn't trust the system,
84
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,590
but I care about
what we're doing,
85
00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:05,190
and I expect you
to care about it, too.
86
00:05:05,190 --> 00:05:06,790
Maybe I'll care
if I can figure out
87
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,590
if we're actually fighting
for the right side.
88
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:09,530
Oh, okay, well,
that's just great.
89
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:11,060
Well, you know what?
90
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,400
Besides my birth,
this is the first thing you
91
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,930
and I have done
as mother and son.
92
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,800
And if that's not enough for you
to care about this,
93
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,870
then I guess it's high time
94
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,400
I pick up a few bad habits
95
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:23,270
and fall in
with the wrong crowd.
96
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,730
Let's do this.
97
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,100
You were born Charles
John Jacob Jingleheimer Clef
98
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,840
in Plano, Texas,
on December 12, 1961.
99
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,110
As an only child, you craved
your parents' approval,
100
00:05:56,110 --> 00:05:59,240
and as an adult, you seek that
approval from your students.
101
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,310
Your intellectual
proclivities unfulfilled
102
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:04,180
by the banal environment
of secondary education,
103
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,650
you turned to the more
challenging world
104
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:08,190
of malevolent
software programming.
105
00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:10,920
Favorite food... pizza.
106
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,720
Let's see what we got.
107
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,600
Perfect.
Wow.
108
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,330
This is going to take
some getting used to.
109
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:23,200
Now, remember, kids are
very different nowadays.
110
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,740
They're very confident,
they're sex-positive,
111
00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:27,200
they're body-positive.
112
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:29,670
And some of them have
unwarranted high self-esteem.
113
00:06:29,670 --> 00:06:31,810
If it's so unwarranted,
why am I so great?
114
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:35,550
Good luck, Tribeca.
115
00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:36,410
Or should I say...?
116
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:38,350
Mr. Clef?
117
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,420
Yes, Delroy?
118
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,820
I can't get
my subroutine to run.
119
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:44,350
Looks like there's
a parsing error in line 19.
120
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,490
What's the error? Well,
if I told you that...
121
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,030
You wouldn't be teaching, you'd be telling.
I wouldn't be teaching, I'd be telling.
122
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,360
That's right.
123
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,430
All right, everybody,
websites are due Friday.
124
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,830
Mr. C., can I... No, Tommy,
you cannot have an extension.
125
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,970
You're the best, Mr. C.
126
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:05,040
Charo, Scholls, you're geniuses.
127
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,810
This is going to be
a piece of cake.
128
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,050
I knew it.
129
00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,580
Come on, Mr. Clef, we're gonna
be late for practice.
130
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:14,720
What practice?
131
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,660
You're so funny, Mr. C.
132
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:20,320
Glee Club practice.
133
00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:23,060
You're the coach.
134
00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:27,660
We've got a problem.
135
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,340
It's a beautiful day
for football practice
136
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,270
as the Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High squad
137
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:39,210
runs their plays
against a mock defense.
138
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,210
But the team's
in some hot water this week
139
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,480
after a local paper
ran an editorial
140
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,220
suggesting that their team name
141
00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:47,150
was offensive
to Native Americans.
142
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:49,290
I don't know how they got there
from Drunken Injuns,
143
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:51,150
but, hey, I'm just
a football fan.
144
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,960
No! Jesus!
145
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,360
Eleven, get your ass over here!
146
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:01,900
It's a simple read option!
147
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,230
You look for the hole!
148
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,040
If it's not there, you pitch
to the running back!
149
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,300
Durphy wasn't in position...
150
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:08,370
I don't want to hear
about Durphy!
151
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:09,840
His parents are divorcing!
152
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,440
He may be a step
behind for a while!
153
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:18,110
Your dad cheated on your mom,
so she's kicking him out.
154
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,920
But that's not your fault,
so don't take that on.
155
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,390
Thanks, Coach.
156
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,520
Hit the showers, buddy.
157
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,060
Now run it again!
158
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,790
This time with your head
on the outside of your ass!
159
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,400
Yes, sir.
160
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,660
This is Coach.
161
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:35,800
Oh, hey, Coach.
162
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,130
It's Mr. Clef,
163
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:39,000
who, when he's not busy
selling malware,
164
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,740
apparently runs the Glee Club.
165
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:43,870
Damn it!
166
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,010
How did we not see that coming?
167
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,810
I don't know,
but I did not study up
168
00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:48,480
on anything
but computer science.
169
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,280
I don't know anything about
F sharps and G minuses.
170
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,080
Look, Tribeca, we are here
171
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,750
to stop the spread
of computer viruses,
172
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:58,020
so you just hang on until you
get contacted by the buyer.
173
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:01,220
And then we will tell the kids
their teacher is dead
174
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,560
and we will get
the hell out of here.
175
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,630
Fine.
176
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,360
All right, everyone.
177
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:11,100
Well, obviously I know your
names, but maybe just for fun,
178
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,840
you guys can sing your name
179
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,570
and then the thing you're gonna
overcome before the big concert.
180
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:18,770
♪ I'm Maria ♪
181
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:20,840
♪ Pills and depression ♪
182
00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:23,110
♪ I eat my own hair ♪
183
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,780
♪ My uncle makes me... ♪
184
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:27,720
- Okay, all right. Next.
- ♪ I'm Pradeep ♪
185
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,990
♪ Arranged marriage to
a girl that I do not love ♪
186
00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,520
♪ I'm Peter ♪
187
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,730
♪ And there's a [bleep]
in my locker ♪
188
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:41,200
♪ I'm Grace and I'm pregnant
with Pradeep's baby ♪
189
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,070
We don't need to
hear from everyone.
190
00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,270
All right, so, should we, uh,
191
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:48,000
pick it up from where we
left off last practice?
192
00:09:48,010 --> 00:09:50,340
Last practice you said
that you were going to write
193
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,610
a brand-new song for us to try.
194
00:09:51,610 --> 00:09:53,410
I did.
I did.
195
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:56,150
Okay.
Um, and yes, here it is.
196
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,880
I hope that you like it.
197
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:05,220
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
198
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:08,960
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
199
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,900
♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪
200
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:18,030
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
201
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,500
Oh, my God.
202
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,040
I love it.
203
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,110
All right, great.
204
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,910
All right, should we try it?
205
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:27,580
Okay.
And a one and a two and a...
206
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,590
My water just broke!
207
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,120
No, sir, I have not heard
from the buyer yet,
208
00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:42,990
but I did listen
to the worst singers
209
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,130
in the history of the world.
210
00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:47,260
I delivered a baby and...
Yeah, I can ask,
211
00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:49,800
but I think
the grandmother's raising it.
212
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:55,140
Now, if I could just find some
decent confiscated snacks...
213
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:58,270
And paydirt.
214
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,540
All right, I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
215
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:01,880
Okay, love you too.
216
00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:16,950
Hey, what the hell happened
with tracking my target?
217
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,220
He got totally spooked.
218
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,890
Now, now, Tribeca, have a seat.
219
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:21,430
Help yourself to a burger.
220
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,560
I don't want to point any
fingers, but she messed up.
221
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,160
Let's not play the blame game!
222
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:28,300
Always takes forever.
223
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,770
How about
Cards Against Humanity?
224
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:33,500
I masked my IP address with
triple DES 168-bit encryption.
225
00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:36,640
My little brother has triple
DES 168-bit encryption.
226
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,640
Your technology
is so two days ago.
227
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,180
At least I've lost my virginity.
228
00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,850
So have I.
He just lives in Europe.
229
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:44,180
Knock it off, you two!
230
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,920
Oh, it's eight players.
That won't work.
231
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,120
It'll be a miracle if he shows
up at the loading dock tonight.
232
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,190
Where's A.J.? School was out
like 20 minutes ago.
233
00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:54,120
I'm afraid A.J.'s having
a hard time here.
234
00:12:54,130 --> 00:12:56,860
He's fallen in with a bad crowd.
235
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,400
Oh, Lana likes what she sees.
236
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:10,540
I don't know about these clothes.
Oh, trust me.
237
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,610
Those shorts squeeze you
in all the right places,
238
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:17,150
and in one place
that's very, very wrong.
239
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:19,080
Here.
Take a hit of this.
240
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,750
What's in that?
Nothing much.
241
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:25,090
Glucose, Electrolytes,
some B vitamins.
242
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:26,960
What if they test my urine?
243
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,030
That's what this is for.
244
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:33,300
That's a clean urine
in case they test you.
245
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:36,570
Yeah, I know, I know.
246
00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:39,170
Okay, guys,
let's log some miles.
247
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,300
What are you doing?
248
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:41,770
Oh, shoot, it's my mom.
249
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:43,310
Wait,
Mr. Clef is your mom?
250
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:46,240
No, I meant to say my moon.
251
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,440
Mr. Clef is your moon?
That sucks.
252
00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,110
Where do you think you're going?
253
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,720
You are gonna get off that bike
254
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,320
and you're coming
with me this minute.
255
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,990
The only place he's going
is Stoneybrook Bike Path.
256
00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:58,520
So back off, old man.
257
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,320
I would watch that mouth,
young lady.
258
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:02,590
What are you gonna do? I'm
already accepted at Stanford.
259
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:03,860
You look ridiculous.
260
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,530
This is how you want
to spend your time?
261
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:07,800
At least these people believe
in what they're doing.
262
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,330
All right, let's go, A.J.
And you know what?
263
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:12,470
If you do a good job today,
264
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,200
I'm gonna teach you
how to shave your legs.
265
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,610
Sorry, Mr. Clef.
266
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,150
I got to go.
267
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,420
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
268
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,150
You wanted to see me, sir?
269
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,560
Yeah, Scholls, come on in.
Take a knee.
270
00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:39,700
You know, this is a big case
we got going on here,
271
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,500
and there's a lot of pressure
on everybody. Yes, sir.
272
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,770
I'm just a little worried
your head's not totally in it.
273
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,370
Charo gets under my skin.
274
00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,300
Charo's young.
She's hungry.
275
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:50,310
You just concentrate
on what you have...
276
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,780
Wisdom, experience, and a smile
277
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:55,250
that could light up
New York City.
278
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,450
Okay. I'll try.
279
00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:59,320
Hey!
You can leave "try"
280
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,520
out there
with the dirty jock straps!
281
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,720
You get 'er done, you hear?!
282
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,320
Yes, sir!
Now drop and give me 20!
283
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:15,060
Hello, Mr. Clef.
284
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,330
Who's there?
285
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,000
I am Claude Merlot.
286
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,340
Do you have the virus?
287
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:21,340
Where are you?
I can't see you.
288
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,870
Do you have the virus?
289
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,410
Yes, I have it right here.
290
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:28,480
But you need to expose yourself.
291
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:32,550
Okay, I'm doing it.
292
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:34,150
Put the virus on the ground.
293
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,550
Not until I see your face.
294
00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:38,550
The National Glee Club
Championship is tomorrow.
295
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,490
This high school has won
every year the past 12 years
296
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:44,430
under Charlie Clef's coaching.
297
00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:48,300
If you are who you say you are,
your team will win,
298
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,430
and then we will
make the exchange.
299
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,440
Yeah, well, if that's
what you want, fine.
300
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,900
It's no problem with me.
301
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:55,710
I mean, I was planning
on winning anyway.
302
00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:58,240
Until tomorrow then.
303
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,210
By the way, I am not
in this Dumpster.
304
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:08,120
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
305
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,720
♪ Happy birthday ♪
306
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,860
♪ Happy birthday ♪
Tribeca: No, no, no!
307
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:13,060
No! No!
308
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,730
You're sharp, you're flat,
you're breastfeeding,
309
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:16,990
and you're, like, amazing.
310
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,260
Oh, I know.
I was just faking it before.
311
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:23,470
What is it going to take for you
people to get your act together?
312
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:26,070
Peter, if you miss
your mark one more time,
313
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,670
I am going to thwack you over
the head with your own
314
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:31,210
I am trying, okay?
Todd's wheelchair is in the way.
315
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:34,340
Seriously, Todd, just stand up
and do the choreography.
316
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,810
Whoa, that is way out of line.
317
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:38,550
Todd has Plantar Fasciitis,
okay?
318
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:41,680
You have no idea what it's like
to be in his orthotic shoes.
319
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:43,090
I'm okay.
320
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,820
I'm sorry.
321
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,760
Okay?
322
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,690
I'm guessing that I used to be
really good with kids,
323
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:53,900
but the Mr. Clef
who woke up yesterday morning
324
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:57,570
doesn't have a clue about
how to connect with a child.
325
00:16:57,570 --> 00:16:59,700
I thought it'd be easy,
you know.
326
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:04,570
Feed them, water them,
shear them when they get woolly.
327
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:08,110
But it turns out...
328
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,050
it's more than just that.
329
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:13,920
You have to listen to them
and you have to pretend
330
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,350
the things they care about
aren't stupid.
331
00:17:18,860 --> 00:17:21,990
Well, that doesn't
come easily to me.
332
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:25,130
Suddenly, in the last two days.
333
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:27,860
But the National Championships
are this afternoon,
334
00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:31,800
and the stakes of winning
have never been higher.
335
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,670
So let's make a deal.
336
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:36,410
You guys try not to be terrible,
337
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,010
and that would be great.
338
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:42,410
Who's in?
339
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,620
Sorry.
340
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:52,490
♪ Oh, doo-dah day ♪
341
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:54,560
♪ Going to run all night ♪
342
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,830
♪ Going to run all day ♪
343
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,960
♪ Bet my money
on a bob-tail nag ♪
344
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,560
♪ Somebody bet on the bay ♪
345
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,510
I hate to say it,
but I think we have no chance
346
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:13,180
of winning this tournament.
347
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,180
Merlot's gonna know
I'm not the real Clef.
348
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,180
Stop eating your hair!
349
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,710
I can't!
350
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,980
And now,
the final club of the night,
351
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:23,050
the 12-time defending
national champions,
352
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:25,590
The Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High School
353
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:27,460
Martha Plimp-tones.
354
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:36,400
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
355
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,610
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
356
00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:50,010
♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪
357
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:55,220
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
358
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:01,890
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
359
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:05,830
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
360
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:08,100
♪ Happy birthday ♪
361
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,840
♪ Happy birthday ♪
362
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:16,510
♪ Happy birthday to ♪
363
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:22,650
♪ To you ♪
364
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:27,680
Whoo! Nailed it!
365
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:48,410
It's him.
It's Merlot.
366
00:19:48,410 --> 00:19:50,210
He's getting away!
367
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,850
Good!
368
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,890
Thank you, A.J.
369
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:06,090
Don't worry about it,
Mr. Clef.
370
00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:09,160
Hey, it doesn't matter
that we lost.
371
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,290
You should all feel really...
Hang on, Mr. Clef.
372
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:13,360
May I have
your attention, please.
373
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,570
The winning team
has been disqualified.
374
00:20:16,570 --> 00:20:17,830
A [bleep] [bleep] has been found
375
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,370
in one of the student's
backpacks.
376
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,170
First place goes to...
377
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:24,910
Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High Martha Plimp-tones!
378
00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:28,040
Good job, Peter.
379
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,710
What are you talking about,
Mr. Clef?
380
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,650
You have us plant
a [bleep] every year.
381
00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:34,320
Yes, I do, Peter.
382
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,920
Yes, I do.
Yeah!
28040
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