All language subtitles for The.Neighborhood.S01E12

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,850 Come on, Tina, we got to get to this theater. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,280 Look, matinee hours end in 30 minutes, 3 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,110 and I'm not paying full price 4 00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:10,830 to see The Rock beat up a hurricane. 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,740 Baby, we're only late because you made us stop 6 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,819 and try every free sample in the store. 7 00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:18,320 How many weenies on a toothpick can one man eat? 8 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,600 Well, at least we don't have to stand in line for popcorn. 9 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:24,450 I saved us time and money. 10 00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:28,500 Look, we'll just find a birthday present for Grover and go. 11 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,320 Oh! 12 00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:32,240 How about these nunchucks? 13 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,360 Oh, you know he's gonna hit Dave with these. 14 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,110 Put them back, Bruce Leroy. 15 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:47,280 Gemma doesn't want us to get him any violent toys. 16 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,370 Fine. Well, I'm-a get them for me. 17 00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:52,960 Oh, what about this? 18 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,480 No. Gemma asked us 19 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:58,210 to shy away from any toys that reinforce specific genders. 20 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,590 Well, God forbid Grover finds out he's a boy. 21 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,260 How about we just cruise over to the food section 22 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,810 and get him a can of soup? 23 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:11,470 Gemma suggested that we get him something educational. 24 00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:13,490 Well, we can get him some alphabet soup. 25 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,380 Ooh, this is nice. 26 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,730 A math puzzle. 27 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,270 Seriously? 28 00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:21,780 What did that boy ever do to you? 29 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:25,770 You know what? I-I really can't believe how these parents coddle 30 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,240 - their kids nowadays. - Mm. 31 00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:30,930 We gave Malcolm and Marty plenty of violent, gendered toys 32 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:32,170 and they turned out fine. 33 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,230 - Come on, you're dead, man! - I knocked your head off. 34 00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,770 No, you missed. You hit that old lady! 35 00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:43,930 You know what? I'm gonna let you deal with this. 36 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,520 I'm gonna go back and get some more toothpick weenies. 37 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,100 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 38 00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:56,630 Okay, the backyard is looking good, 39 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,980 and the entertainment should be here in half an hour. 40 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,500 - Oh, there's entertainment? - Oh, yeah. 41 00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:06,500 We got the one and only Insane Shane the Party Ma-chane. 42 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:09,630 You got Insane Shane? 43 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,990 - You've heard of him? - No. 44 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,670 He's the premier host of kids' birthday parties in Pasadena. 45 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,450 Well, what makes him so special? 46 00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:21,230 Kids love him. He plays games, he juggles, 47 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,890 he can do the happy birthday song in armpit farts. 48 00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:26,950 Ah, well, Calvin's birthday is coming up. 49 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,300 I'll keep him in mind. 50 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,480 You almost done with those cupcakes? 51 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,740 Oh, I'm getting there, but I can't believe 52 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:34,890 you bought so many. 53 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,880 Well, I don't know any of the kids' allergies, 54 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,280 so I got sugar-free, gluten-free, peanut-free, 55 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,810 vegan, and vegan-gluten-peanut-sugar free. 56 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,980 And taste-free, too. 57 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,560 I know, but I don't care. 58 00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,186 I want to play pin the tail on the donkey, 59 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,300 not jab the kid with the EpiPen. 60 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,620 What up, what up? 61 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,640 Hey. 62 00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:57,960 All right, guys. We got the balloons. 63 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,290 Oh, thank you, guys. 64 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,140 No problem. 65 00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:01,990 Yeah, there was a leaky one. 66 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,740 Yeah, I didn't want to waste it. 67 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:09,000 Gemma, disaster. Insane Shane just cancelled. 68 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,800 What? 69 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:11,950 Yeah, apparently, he sneezed 70 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,150 while he was juggling bowling balls. 71 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,220 Now he's in the hospital with three concussions. 72 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:20,800 Insane Shane cancelled? 73 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:22,900 But I told everybody 74 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:23,560 at school he was gonna be here. 75 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,600 That's why they're coming. 76 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,600 No, no, buddy, they... 77 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,960 The kids are coming to celebrate you. 78 00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:30,420 That's what this is all about, 79 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,310 how awesome and cool you are. 80 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,810 Mm, they said they were coming for Shane. 81 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,420 Hey, you know what, Grover? Malcolm and I can play 82 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,480 party games with you guys. 83 00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,190 Can you be insane? 84 00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:43,250 Totally insane. 85 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,600 Mm, I don't know. 86 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,000 We're the only option you have. 87 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,390 - Finish him! - Now, go! 88 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,110 - Go! Go! - Finish him! Steady yourself! 89 00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,850 Go! Go! 90 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,820 - Oh! - Oh, yes! 91 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:05,380 And just like that, Colby trips on a sprinkler. 92 00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:08,770 Oh, b-but he is up again, and running faster than ever. 93 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,559 In the wrong direction. 94 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,630 But here comes Haley for Team Malcolm. 95 00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:16,150 And Team Malcolm wins. Yes! 96 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:18,350 In your face! 97 00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,620 Dude, what are you doing? 98 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,210 We're just playing party games with the kids. 99 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,500 Oh, you're just saying that because I won again. 100 00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:26,810 I came out of Mama first, 101 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,960 and I haven't given up that lead since. 102 00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,120 Seriously? I am an engineer. 103 00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:34,100 I have a great job, and my own apartment. 104 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,400 You are unemployed, and you live at home 105 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,140 with your mama and your daddy. 106 00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:41,330 Yes, but who just won the egg toss? 107 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,760 You have never beaten me at anything physical, 108 00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:45,780 and you never will. 109 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,320 Do you think that bothers me? 110 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,370 I think that kills you. 111 00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:50,670 Damn it, you're right. Kids, 112 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,600 help me get Colby out of those tomato vines. 113 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,679 - Hey, everybody. - Hey. 114 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,300 - Hey. - Oh, hey, Calvin. 115 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,560 Hey, baby, where you been? 116 00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:02,110 Oh, I was just wrapping the birthday gift I got for Grover. 117 00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:04,780 Oh, but we already got him the math puzzle. 118 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,140 Yeah, you know, I scratched my name off that card. 119 00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:09,890 That's all you now. 120 00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:12,960 Oh, don't mind if I do. 121 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:15,140 Ha, ha. 122 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,390 What the hell? 123 00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:21,880 Okay, stop playing. Where are the real cupcakes? 124 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,970 Yay. Flash cards. 125 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,610 Oh, what a great gift. 126 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,140 Now, don't let me catch you playing with those 127 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,740 after bedtime. 128 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:36,300 I don't think you're gonna catch him 129 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,600 playing with those at any time. 130 00:05:39,570 --> 00:05:41,920 Sweetie, tell Colby how much you like it. 131 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,650 I thought I wasn't supposed to lie. 132 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,900 Grover. 133 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,930 It's okay, I get it. 134 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:55,320 Ring toss, three-legged race, pin the tail on the donkey. 135 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,840 Yo, man, what are you doing? 136 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,990 I'm just recapping my wins. 137 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,770 Okay, okay. Well, in that case, uh, 138 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:06,100 bank account, credit score, uh, life. 139 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:09,260 Those are all very good points. 140 00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:10,510 Yes. 141 00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:12,560 Don't none of them matter right now, do they? 142 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,160 No! 143 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,360 Great, another math puzzle. 144 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,730 Grover, thank Miss Tina. 145 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,560 Thanks, Miss Tina. 146 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,490 Your mother made me get it. 147 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,720 Well, okay, it looks like we opened up all the gifts. 148 00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:29,480 Oh, oh, oh. Not yet. 149 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,290 - There's one more. - Aw. 150 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,230 There you go. My man. 151 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,340 Cool! 152 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,400 A knife. 153 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,300 - A knife? - Whoa! A knife. 154 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,200 Yeah, a knife. Here, hold that next to your face 155 00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,420 so I can take a picture. 156 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,920 Oh, my God. 157 00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:49,390 - Yeah. - Yeah. 158 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,740 Holler at your boy! 159 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,100 - Can I touch it? - Yeah. 160 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:03,250 But you got me the flash cards, so you're last. 161 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:06,830 Calvin, what is the matter with you, getting Grover a knife? 162 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,770 What, were they all out of nail guns? 163 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,210 Give me some credit, Tina. 164 00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:13,820 The kickback on one of those things 165 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,900 would knock that boy off his feet. 166 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:17,800 Okay, you know what? 167 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,470 - Everyone, back away. - Yeah. Yeah. 168 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,300 It's my turn to touch it. 169 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,700 Yep. All right, why don't we put away all the lovely gifts, 170 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,730 and the knife, 171 00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:27,140 and, uh, get back 172 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,230 to the fun games with Malcolm and Marty? 173 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,870 But everyone wants to play with it. 174 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,640 I know, that's why it's going away. 175 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:35,180 Guys, could you take all the kids outside? 176 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,376 - All right, kids, let's go. - All right, let's go. 177 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,506 - Let's go, let's go. - Let's go. 178 00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:40,100 Dave, kitchen, now. 179 00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,550 Ooh. 180 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,740 Dave, trouble, in. 181 00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:50,150 Calvin, cupcake, find. 182 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:57,719 How could Calvin give our son a knife 183 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,270 without talking to us first? 184 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:01,510 I know. He probably knew 185 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,590 that I couldn't keep something that cool a secret. 186 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:08,100 How are you not more upset about this? He gave our son a weapon. 187 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:11,000 It's not a weapon, it's-it's a pocketknife. 188 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,420 It's a handheld stabbing machine. 189 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:17,200 Yeah, but if they call it that, they're not gonna sell any. 190 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,700 - Oh... - Okay, look, 191 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,740 I know you just want Grover to be safe. 192 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,290 So do I, but, you know, it's not that big a deal. 193 00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:28,400 When I was his age, I had a BB gun. 194 00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:30,800 Yeah, and you still have a BB in your arm 195 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,870 from when your friend shot you with it. 196 00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,190 Actually, it's not there anymore. 197 00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:36,520 It just, it disappeared for a year, 198 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,400 and then it resurfaced in my leg. 199 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,440 We'll talk about this later. 200 00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:43,360 Right now, this is going in the same drawer 201 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,680 as your fedora and your laser pointer. 202 00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:48,450 What... you said that my laser pointer was stolen. 203 00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,530 Can I have the knife back? 204 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,480 The other kids are ignoring me without it. 205 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,840 Oh, honey, they're not ignoring you. 206 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,000 Yeah, they probably think the party is just less fun 207 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,260 now that the knife is gone. 208 00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:02,270 Gemma, 209 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,300 I-I know you think it's dangerous, 210 00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,800 but the knife is actually pretty cool. 211 00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:10,500 And isn't that exactly what you wanted for Grover's party? 212 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,620 - Well, yeah, but... - Okay. Well, then, 213 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,600 how about this: how about I'll take the knife outside, 214 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:17,700 and I will show it to the kids? 215 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,290 I will hold it 216 00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:21,400 the whole time, I promise. 217 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,540 In fact, you know what? I won't even open it. 218 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,410 Please, Mom? It's my birthday. 219 00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:29,800 Fine. 220 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,820 Yeah! 221 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:33,370 Ooh, and, uh, my laser pointer? 222 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:34,970 It's in heaven now. 223 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,100 Come on, Team Marty! 224 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,900 This isn't about fun and games anymore. 225 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:43,340 Then why are we doing it? 226 00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:46,480 So Marty doesn't cry himself to sleep tonight. 227 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,970 Hey! Hey! I don't do that anymore. 228 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:52,530 Stop laughing! You're on my team. 229 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:54,530 Here come the waterworks. 230 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,300 We got the knife! 231 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:01,250 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 232 00:10:01,270 --> 00:10:04,560 - Oh... Uh-huh. - Oh... Whoo! 233 00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:06,700 And then there were two. 234 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:07,770 Oh, I see you've been working on your math. 235 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,490 I see you haven't been working on your arms. 236 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,230 Okay, so it's like that? 237 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,000 - Yeah. - Yeah, well, I could do this all day. 238 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,426 I don't have to go to work until Monday. 239 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,750 Oh, yeah? Joke's on you. I don't have a job. 240 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,660 Now, 241 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,600 I know most of you think that the blade 242 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,220 is the coolest part of the knife, 243 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,500 but have you ever stopped to take a look 244 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,340 at the bolster? Take a look at that. 245 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,390 Dave? 246 00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:36,950 What the heck are you doing? 247 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,600 Leave it up to you to make a knife boring. 248 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,770 Open it up. 249 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,900 I can't. I promised Gemma. 250 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:45,950 Dave, come on. 251 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,390 These kids are starving for something fun. 252 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,910 My mom says fun is dangerous. 253 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,330 Well, your mom thinks flash cards are a great gift. 254 00:10:57,420 --> 00:10:59,370 Now, who wants to have fun? 255 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,290 O-Okay, all right. 256 00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:04,510 Okay, fine, I will open it. 257 00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:07,490 But only so I can teach you guys proper knife safety. 258 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,300 I'm kind of an expert since I was an Eagle Scout. 259 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,570 What's that? 260 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,390 What's an Eagle Scout? 261 00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:17,880 Well, it's like one step below a Navy SEAL. 262 00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:19,600 Dave, 263 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,320 you're barely one step above a real seal. 264 00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:26,990 Okay, okay. All right. 265 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,960 Now, there are a few things 266 00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:33,400 that you should always do when handling a knife. 267 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,800 You should always make sure 268 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,290 that there is no one within arm's reach. 269 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,790 Okay? 270 00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,910 And you should always make sure 271 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:47,200 that you are cutting away from yourself, like so. 272 00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:50,620 Okay, all right. 273 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:54,440 Okay, those are a few of the boring things 274 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,170 you should always do. 275 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:58,340 Now let me show you a few 276 00:11:58,370 --> 00:12:01,520 cool things that you should never do. 277 00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:02,930 Okay, okay, all right. 278 00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:05,260 - Kids, kids. - All right? With a knife. 279 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:08,230 All right? Never... 280 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,740 hold a knife like this. 281 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,730 Ooh! 282 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,840 Unless there's a zombie apocalypse, 283 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,450 and you got to do what you got to do. 284 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,340 Look here. Zombie! 285 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,530 Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie! 286 00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:23,400 Calvin! Cal-Calvin, that's enough. 287 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,850 Never go hand to hand. 288 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:26,810 Don't want to do that. 289 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,270 Unless there are zombies on both sides. 290 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,870 Left zombie dead! 291 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,690 Right zombie dead! Yeah! 292 00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,800 Cal-Cal. Okay, Calvin, that's good. We... 293 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:39,150 Lis-Listen, kids, and never, ever, ever, ever 294 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,700 hold a knife by the blade... 295 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,740 unless... you're gonna throw it at the king zombie. 296 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,430 Oh! 297 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,390 Calvin! That... 298 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,660 was awesome! 299 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,340 Gemma, I'm so sorry about Calvin. 300 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,420 He should never have given Grover that knife 301 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,420 without asking you guys first. 302 00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,420 Funny, that's exactly what I was gonna write 303 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,470 on the thank-you card. 304 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,410 What is it with boys and dangerous things? 305 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,480 You know, scientific studies have been done 306 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,960 on this very subject, and they always come back 307 00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:22,120 with the same conclusion: boys are stupid. 308 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,400 Maybe for Christmas, I should just get Grover 309 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,410 this box of matches and a can of lighter fluid. 310 00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:31,910 Oh, please. He doesn't need those. 311 00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,850 Marty used to start fires with his magnifying glass. 312 00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,860 Really? 313 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,230 You know that's our third garage out back? 314 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,600 Look, my point is, 315 00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:44,880 no matter what you do, boys will always 316 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,500 find a way to make everything dangerous. 317 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,870 Well, when do they finally grow out of it? 318 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:52,890 Well, Calvin bought nunchucks the other day, so, never. 319 00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,910 Great. That means I'm gonna be worried 320 00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,510 for the rest of my life. 321 00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:59,360 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 322 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,800 they keep it interesting. 323 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,450 You know, Malcolm once stuck a fork in a light socket. 324 00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:06,930 What happened? 325 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,900 We had to get a new fuse box. 326 00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:12,770 - Oh, you mean to Malcolm. - Yeah. 327 00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:14,710 He was fine once his eyebrows grew back. 328 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,770 Look, Gemma, 329 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,420 if you want, I'll make sure that Calvin takes 330 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,450 that knife back right now. 331 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,500 It's okay. Dave promised 332 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,950 they'd be careful with it. 333 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,450 Whoa! 334 00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:36,980 And that's how you play pin-finger. 335 00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:39,940 Which you should never, ever do 336 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,340 unless you're a pirate. 337 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:42,360 Or me. 338 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:44,190 Wow. 339 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,870 I know what you're thinking. 340 00:14:46,890 --> 00:14:48,710 You have no idea what I'm thinking. 341 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,490 "Use the force, Marty." 342 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,240 Get out of my head, wizard! 343 00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:55,960 Oh, no. 344 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:57,330 I live in your head. 345 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,700 Oh, why... did Mom and Dad 346 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,510 finally start charging you rent? 347 00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,220 I knew you would say that. 348 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,770 - No, you didn't. Stop it! - No, you didn't. Stop it! 349 00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:07,370 - I'm not playin'! - I'm not playin'! 350 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,100 - I'm not playin'! - I'm not playin'! 351 00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:11,860 Do another trick! 352 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,866 All right, I'll show you a trick. Give me the knife. 353 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,610 Really, seal boy? 354 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,110 What are you gonna do... Balance it on your nose? 355 00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:21,950 Okay, now, don't tell your mom, 356 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,980 but this is a little trick 357 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,710 I used to wow 'em with back in scout camp. 358 00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:29,300 Whoa! 359 00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,620 It might be good for scout camp, 360 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,750 but what are you gonna do in real life when zombies attack? 361 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,290 - Hmm? - All right. 362 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,396 Want to see me throw it higher? 363 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,800 Yeah! 364 00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,900 Whoa! 365 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,480 Your dad's cool, Grover. 366 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,160 Oh, you think that was cool? 367 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,710 You better put on your parka, 368 00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:55,210 because it's about to get downright freezing. 369 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,430 All right. 370 00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,000 Give me some room. 371 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,900 Ready? 372 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,890 ♪ Happy birth... ♪ 373 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,620 Oh! 374 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:08,800 Right through the shoe. Ooh. 375 00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,280 Oh, my God, are you okay? 376 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:11,770 - Gemma, get the car keys! - Okay, okay. 377 00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,580 - Okay. - Get the car keys now. 378 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,370 Uh, uh, guys, I... 379 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,400 hope that is a valuable lesson to all of you 380 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:22,580 that you won't tell your parents. 381 00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,620 So... 382 00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,870 fun party. 383 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,600 Yeah, it was great. 384 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,900 There was blood, there was a knife. 385 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,660 The only thing missing was the crime scene tape. 386 00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:46,160 Okay, okay. Look, I get it. 387 00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:47,830 You're mad. 388 00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,830 I never should have given him the knife. 389 00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:53,800 You think? He's only seven years old. 390 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,800 Oh, I was talking about Dave. 391 00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,880 Yeah... I specifically asked 392 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:02,200 that nobody get Grover a weapon, and you got him one anyway. 393 00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:03,860 And a math puzzle. 394 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,830 No matter what the card says, that was from both of us. 395 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,120 Look, Gemma. 396 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,220 Look, I didn't mean to disrespect you 397 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,820 or anything like that. I just remember 398 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,800 when my grandfather gave me my first knife. 399 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:21,500 It made me... 400 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,760 feel like a man, even though I was a kid. And so 401 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,600 I wanted Grover to have that same feeling too. 402 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,500 But he's not a man. 403 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,310 He's a little boy. 404 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,380 Look, I'm not naive. 405 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,000 I know I can't keep him in a bubble forever. 406 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,540 But he's my baby, and I want to protect him 407 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,600 for as long as I can. 408 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,750 You know what? You're right. 409 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,500 I guess I just never looked at it like that. 410 00:17:46,610 --> 00:17:47,950 I'm sorry. 411 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,880 It's okay. 412 00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:55,630 Your heart was in the right place. 413 00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,140 Yeah. 414 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,610 Besides, I have to admit, 415 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,690 - the knife was a huge hit. - Hmm. 416 00:18:00,710 --> 00:18:03,750 Probably even bigger than Insane Shane would've been. 417 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:07,270 He's one floor up, by the way. 418 00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:12,530 You know, Grover did seem like he had fun. 419 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,380 I know. 420 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,360 I was so worried about him making friends, 421 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,210 but now all the kids think he's cool. 422 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,650 Well, of course. 423 00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:22,790 They saw a dude get stabbed at his birthday party. 424 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:26,410 Come Monday, he's gonna be the man. 425 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,560 - Oh. - Oh. 426 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:31,000 There you are. Are you okay? 427 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,720 Well... 428 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,250 they couldn't save the sock. 429 00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,910 But other than that, I'm fine. Ooh, and look. 430 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,610 They took out my BB. 431 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,900 I don't know whether to kiss you or step on your foot. 432 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,580 I know which one would be more fun to watch. 433 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,730 I'm sorry we played with the knife. 434 00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:55,740 Yeah. Yeah, it was a little childish. 435 00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,580 But the kids were egging us on. 436 00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:00,900 Yeah, and I totally would have caught it 437 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,620 if I wasn't distracted by the cake. 438 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,600 Throwing it that high? 439 00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:06,130 Yeah, right. 440 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:08,320 I'm sorry, you-you don't think so? 441 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,760 'Cause there's a scalpel back in the room. 442 00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,460 Hey, you're talking. I don't see you moving, though. 443 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,486 Well, let's go, then. I don't care. 444 00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:13,536 Really, I mean, you're gonna do what you're gonna do. 445 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,310 - Guys. - I mean, you saw I was... 446 00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:20,200 - Sorry. You're right. - Yeah, my bad. Bad... 447 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,750 Meet me in the back yard tomorrow. 448 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,130 I'll show you. 449 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,710 Did you ask my parents if it's okay to do this to our tree? 450 00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,460 No. 451 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,710 That's why I'm carving your name into it and not mine. 452 00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:45,970 So, how did your friends like the party? 453 00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:47,480 Yeah, they loved it. 454 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,520 I even got a bunch of play date invites. 455 00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:51,350 Well, all right. 456 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:53,510 You know what? 457 00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:57,340 I'm gonna hold onto this for you until your mom says it's okay. 458 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,490 But the knife is what made me cool. 459 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,560 Oh... 460 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,990 trust me, Grover, you were cool 461 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,900 way before this knife. 462 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,790 You think? 463 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:09,630 Definitely. And that's coming from me, 464 00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:11,460 the coolest guy you know. 465 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:14,720 Thanks, Mr. Calvin. 466 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:16,930 - Good night, little man. - Good night. 467 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,420 All right. 468 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:24,920 All right, fellas, finish up, now. 469 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,460 Come on, your mom made dinner. 470 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,460 Oh, help me, Jesus. 471 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,620 Face it, Marty... you will never beat me. 472 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,430 I can feel it. Tonight is the night! 473 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,540 Oh, no. 474 00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:36,830 You're fooling yourself. 475 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,330 I'll always be bigger. 476 00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:40,680 I'll always be stronger, I'll always be... 477 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,200 Aah! 478 00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:47,440 And I'll always be smarter. 479 00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:52,400 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 32047

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.