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00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Little kids?
Are you serious?
3
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,831
The junior officers program
is the chief's priority.
4
00:00:37,881 --> 00:00:40,702
It encourages children to explore
a career in law enforcement.
5
00:00:40,754 --> 00:00:42,222
Okay, but they're 10.
6
00:00:42,306 --> 00:00:45,879
They're probably also exploring
careers as superheroes.
7
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:48,017
Okay, Bailey, look,
I've got work to do, okay?
8
00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:49,353
So please go now
and be inspired...
9
00:00:49,404 --> 00:00:51,105
by, you know,
the light in their eyes.
10
00:00:51,191 --> 00:00:53,076
With all due respect,
11
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:57,001
are you absolutely sure
you want Dan Stark...
12
00:00:57,068 --> 00:01:00,107
Dan Stark...
Dealing with children?
13
00:01:00,174 --> 00:01:01,241
No offense.
14
00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:02,294
None taken.
15
00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:04,130
Jack, don't ask me how,
16
00:01:04,215 --> 00:01:06,586
but junior officers
that work with Dan Stark...
17
00:01:06,654 --> 00:01:09,524
become cops at a rate
that can only be described as...
18
00:01:09,592 --> 00:01:10,592
Alarming.
19
00:01:10,645 --> 00:01:12,096
Really?!
Really.
20
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,531
It's easy.
21
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,786
See, you deal with kids the same
way you deal with adults.
22
00:01:15,872 --> 00:01:17,656
It's just, they're, you know,
short and broke.
23
00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:19,777
Come on, partner.
24
00:01:19,844 --> 00:01:21,664
Let's go shoot the crap
out of some damn destinies.
25
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:22,783
Come on.
26
00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:38,985
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:44,942 --> 00:01:47,797
I'm not gonna lie to you,
little dudes, little dudettes.
28
00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:50,835
Being a cop is just about
the best thing...
29
00:01:50,887 --> 00:01:52,272
In the whole world.
30
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:54,060
Now... aaah!
31
00:01:54,144 --> 00:01:55,479
Son of a bitch!
32
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:56,615
- Jack!
- Yeah?
33
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:57,816
Get me down.
34
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,386
Oh! Stiff.
35
00:01:59,454 --> 00:02:00,455
You all right?
36
00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:01,958
I'm good.
Uh...Where was I?
37
00:02:02,025 --> 00:02:03,360
Being a cop rules.
38
00:02:03,412 --> 00:02:04,530
You got that right, kingley!
39
00:02:04,581 --> 00:02:06,634
Here's the deal,
little mini-peoples.
40
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:09,889
When you're a cop, you get to
drive a car as fast as you want,
41
00:02:09,975 --> 00:02:11,593
you get to shoot a real gun,
42
00:02:11,677 --> 00:02:13,847
you get to see a movie
for free if you want to!
43
00:02:13,898 --> 00:02:15,384
You just walk up
to the theater,
44
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,020
you say,
"hey, I'm following a perp."
45
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,105
Uh, Dan...
46
00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,408
Uh, kids, that is not true.
47
00:02:19,476 --> 00:02:21,562
The police officers
want to go to the movies,
48
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:24,333
they have to pay,
just like everybody else.
49
00:02:24,401 --> 00:02:26,421
Kid #1: Aw, man!
Kid #2: Boo!
50
00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:29,360
Yeah, okay, maybe the uniformed
officers pay for movies,
51
00:02:29,429 --> 00:02:32,266
but I myself, I'm a Detective.
I do not pay for movies.
52
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:35,054
I want a coke
with that popcorn... bam!
53
00:02:35,105 --> 00:02:36,257
Flash my badge.
54
00:02:36,307 --> 00:02:37,926
Dan, can I speak with you
for a moment?
55
00:02:37,978 --> 00:02:40,147
Hang on one sec.
56
00:02:40,232 --> 00:02:44,205
Uh, I don't think
encouraging these, uh...
57
00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,948
...Uh, adorable, little tykes
to commit fraud is really the...
58
00:02:49,015 --> 00:02:51,302
The good example
that we want to set today.
59
00:02:51,386 --> 00:02:52,638
Learn from me, jacko.
60
00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:54,792
Women love a guy
who's good with kids.
61
00:02:54,844 --> 00:02:56,795
So, you play
your cards right here,
62
00:02:56,847 --> 00:02:58,933
you could get back sack-side
with Lizzie.
63
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,403
Yeah, okay.
Okay?
64
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,605
Uh, hey, kids.
65
00:03:01,657 --> 00:03:05,029
So, my partner,
Detective Dan, is right.
66
00:03:05,113 --> 00:03:08,535
Being a police officer
can be rewarding.
67
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:12,492
But it can also be
really challenging, okay?
68
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:16,267
Police officers need to know
about the law,
69
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,221
about science, math...
70
00:03:18,305 --> 00:03:20,441
Okay! Detective Jack,
thank you, thank you.
71
00:03:20,509 --> 00:03:21,726
You know, that's good.
72
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,115
He is warning you,
there are some boring parts.
73
00:03:24,182 --> 00:03:25,902
But mostly, being a cop,
74
00:03:25,986 --> 00:03:27,655
it-it's just...
It's like being a kid!
75
00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:30,694
Except the guns are real,
the cars are fast!
76
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:32,965
You're getting paid to do it!
77
00:03:33,033 --> 00:03:35,553
We don't have a lot of time,
cadets, so, uh, take a knee.
78
00:03:35,637 --> 00:03:37,140
Here's the dillio.
79
00:03:37,206 --> 00:03:38,592
You want to be a cop,
80
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,398
you got to avoid...
I'll call them the "bad roads."
81
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,719
Now, what do I mean
by "bad road"? Crime!
82
00:03:43,769 --> 00:03:46,157
There's the road of crime
over there. Avoid it.
83
00:03:46,224 --> 00:03:47,860
What's another bad road?
84
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,498
Stay away from the drugs.
Avoid.
85
00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:52,869
But there is one road that most
adults won't warn you about,
86
00:03:52,921 --> 00:03:54,506
and it's this...
87
00:03:54,574 --> 00:03:56,460
Working in an office!
88
00:03:56,545 --> 00:03:58,180
Your entire life...
89
00:03:58,247 --> 00:04:01,353
filling out forms,
dealing with files and whatnot.
90
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,139
Take it from me, kids...
91
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:05,979
Do not become
a paper-pusher.
92
00:04:09,152 --> 00:04:10,771
Well, where is it?
93
00:04:10,839 --> 00:04:13,241
I asked for a printout of
that database over an hour ago.
94
00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:16,347
Is there a reason I had to get out of
the comfort of my ergonomical chair...
95
00:04:16,416 --> 00:04:18,886
to come down here
and beg for it again?
96
00:04:18,952 --> 00:04:21,475
I'm sorry, sir.
Uh, the system is buggy.
97
00:04:21,558 --> 00:04:23,228
Really? 'Cause it's
working fine in my office.
98
00:04:31,361 --> 00:04:33,197
Records office.
Perry speaking.
99
00:04:33,281 --> 00:04:34,249
Good.
100
00:04:35,869 --> 00:04:38,239
It's I.T.
101
00:04:38,307 --> 00:04:40,043
I should probably take this.
102
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:41,496
By all means.
103
00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:44,318
But, Perry, I like my chair.
It's got lumbar support.
104
00:04:44,386 --> 00:04:45,955
Make me get out of it again...
105
00:04:46,022 --> 00:04:47,624
You fired.
106
00:04:47,692 --> 00:04:48,726
No.
107
00:04:51,817 --> 00:04:55,022
What are you doing, vic?!
I told you not to call me here.
108
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:56,992
I'm in enough trouble as it is.
109
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:59,864
If they find out what
we're doing, I could get fired.
110
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,351
Hell, I could go to jail!
111
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,605
I got to go.
112
00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,909
People are getting suspicious.
113
00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:13,707
I'll call you when it's done.
114
00:05:23,227 --> 00:05:25,113
Oh. Hey, Liz.
What brings you by?
115
00:05:25,181 --> 00:05:28,368
I just had to drop off some
witness statements to vice desk.
116
00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:31,158
It's like five feet away,
so I thought I'd say hi.
117
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:33,912
You always...Know
the exact thing to say...
118
00:05:33,998 --> 00:05:35,215
in any situation.
119
00:05:35,299 --> 00:05:36,384
Etiquette school.
120
00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:37,586
Ah, sure.
121
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,991
So, Jack,
I was driving by the park,
122
00:05:40,059 --> 00:05:43,146
and I could have sworn
that I saw you and Mr. Dan...
123
00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:45,101
playing with a bunch of kids.
124
00:05:45,186 --> 00:05:48,491
They're the junior officers
of the Dallas police department.
125
00:05:48,558 --> 00:05:50,828
Ruiz wants us to...
126
00:05:50,896 --> 00:05:52,782
But why are you smiling?
127
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:56,072
Am I smiling?
128
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,510
You are.
Y-you were, yeah.
129
00:05:58,577 --> 00:06:00,246
Well, I guess
I just, um...
130
00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:02,600
I never knew
that you liked kids so much.
131
00:06:02,686 --> 00:06:03,769
I did.
132
00:06:03,853 --> 00:06:07,393
I-I mean I do.
I love kids.
133
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,264
Hm, 'cause when I think
about you and kids,
134
00:06:09,314 --> 00:06:11,033
I think about that time
we were in Mexico...
135
00:06:11,101 --> 00:06:12,769
and you berated that child
in broken Spanish...
136
00:06:12,821 --> 00:06:13,906
for quite some time.
137
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,408
That's only because I found out...
138
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,913
how much he was trying to charge
me for a puka-shell necklace.
139
00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:20,618
Puka shells!
I forgot.
140
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:23,056
All right.
I like kids. I do.
141
00:06:23,124 --> 00:06:25,211
They're, uh, our future.
142
00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,381
They are? Yeah, no.
Someone wrote a song about it.
143
00:06:27,449 --> 00:06:28,850
I did not know that.
It's true.
144
00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:30,270
My only problem is,
145
00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:33,327
is that kids have never really
seemed to like me.
146
00:06:33,411 --> 00:06:34,979
So when they take over,
147
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:38,269
I'm just a little worried
that I might be screwed.
148
00:06:38,337 --> 00:06:40,991
Jack, I'm sure
that they like you just fine.
149
00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,427
Hmm, well, maybe.
150
00:06:42,495 --> 00:06:44,431
You know who they love?
Who?
151
00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:45,850
You're sitting in his chair.
152
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:46,835
No.
153
00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:48,054
Yeah.
154
00:06:48,139 --> 00:06:51,811
Detective Dan
has a way with the mini-people.
155
00:06:53,349 --> 00:06:56,370
We are at war with crime!
156
00:06:56,454 --> 00:06:58,157
And you need to be
prepared for battle.
157
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:00,629
Move! Move! Move!
158
00:07:03,668 --> 00:07:05,921
All right, cadets, fall in!
159
00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:08,543
In formation!
160
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,547
It's gut-check time,
Randy!
161
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,819
Do you want it?!
Do you want it?!
162
00:07:12,886 --> 00:07:15,222
My name's Brian.
That's the spirit!
163
00:07:15,274 --> 00:07:18,363
All right.
Let me ask you a question.
164
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:20,532
We don't rest
till the bad guys do.
165
00:07:20,584 --> 00:07:22,086
When do the bad guys rest?
166
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,372
Never!
167
00:07:23,424 --> 00:07:25,575
Internal affairs
comes snooping around,
168
00:07:25,628 --> 00:07:28,347
asking questions about
your partner, what do you say?
169
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:31,470
I know nothing about
the incident to which you refer!
170
00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:32,472
And why is that?
171
00:07:32,556 --> 00:07:34,109
Blue sticks with blue!
172
00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:35,378
I can't hear you!
173
00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:37,097
Blue sticks with blue!
174
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,901
All right!
Get down, give me 20!
175
00:07:38,952 --> 00:07:43,743
Live fire! Live fire!
There you go! All right!
176
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,134
Nice work!
Mandatory hydration break!
177
00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:49,755
What is this?
178
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:50,808
Hey!
179
00:07:50,892 --> 00:07:53,128
Hey, uh, uh,
junior academy training.
180
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:56,436
Got to make sure these kids
are ready when the time comes.
181
00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:58,322
When what time comes?
Puberty?
182
00:07:58,406 --> 00:07:59,808
I'm building futures
here, jacko.
183
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,328
Get out of the way,
follow, or ld.
184
00:08:01,411 --> 00:08:02,980
I'm glad you're here, though.
We got a case.
185
00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:07,005
Cadet Teddy,
present, front and center!
186
00:08:07,089 --> 00:08:08,174
Yes, sir.
187
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:10,328
What do you mean,
you have a case?
188
00:08:10,379 --> 00:08:12,131
Kid's got a lead.
189
00:08:12,182 --> 00:08:13,834
Are you... a lead?
190
00:08:13,886 --> 00:08:16,189
Yeah.
He's a rambly little guy.
191
00:08:16,274 --> 00:08:18,360
But he's solid,
so hear him out.
192
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:20,732
At ease, cadet.
193
00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:23,068
Now, I want you to tell
Detective Jack what you told me...
194
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,522
about the neighborhood lurker.
195
00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:26,358
Oh, yeah.
This guy was real bad.
196
00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:15,136
You hear that, Jack?
He stole mail.
197
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:16,555
No good punk.
...Punk.
198
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,727
I waited till he left,
then collected the evidence.
199
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,183
Is this a joke?
200
00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:24,988
No.
Check it out.
201
00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:26,523
Should all be in there, sir.
202
00:09:31,084 --> 00:09:33,120
Okay, what's with the leaf?
203
00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:35,123
It's the loogie.
It's dried up.
204
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:37,428
Oh.
Yeah, there it is.
205
00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,583
You know who, uh, steals mail?
206
00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:42,354
Yeah.
Psychotic mailmen.
207
00:09:42,438 --> 00:09:43,674
Identity thieves.
208
00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:45,677
They steal pre-approved
credit-card applications,
209
00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:47,364
fill them out,
send them in, and then...
210
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:49,935
they rack up a mountain of debt
under someone else's name.
211
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:51,287
This is pretty good
police work, kid.
212
00:09:52,774 --> 00:09:54,744
I just want to wrap him up
in tin foil...
213
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,364
and slip him in my pocket.
214
00:09:56,415 --> 00:09:57,866
Pretty sure
that would be illegal.
215
00:09:57,918 --> 00:09:59,620
Where'd you get
this credit-card receipt?
216
00:09:59,688 --> 00:10:01,758
It was inside
the bag from the beer.
217
00:10:01,842 --> 00:10:03,227
See that?
218
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,980
Light beer.
That is a crime.
219
00:10:05,048 --> 00:10:06,934
No, the name.
"Jeffrey eastin."
220
00:10:07,018 --> 00:10:09,355
Do you think
you can give me a description...
221
00:10:09,407 --> 00:10:11,492
of the guy you saw
stealing this mail?
222
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:15,400
He had a mullet, pointy nose,
stupid shoes, muscle shirt,
223
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:17,087
no muscles to speak of.
224
00:10:17,171 --> 00:10:18,740
Isn't he precious?
225
00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:22,614
Mullet, pointy nose, everything.
It's all there, man.
226
00:10:22,682 --> 00:10:26,606
That little dude
is a born crimefighter.
227
00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:27,924
Hey, you know, um,
228
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,613
Hodges has been doing some work
with the FBI...
229
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,066
on some fraud cases.
230
00:10:32,134 --> 00:10:34,654
If I could sneak a look
at his computer,
231
00:10:34,739 --> 00:10:37,710
I could run eastin's
credit cards on his database.
232
00:10:37,778 --> 00:10:39,780
What's a database?
233
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,333
Don't worry about that.
234
00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:44,388
Just, uh...Just distract
Hodges while I do this.
235
00:10:44,456 --> 00:10:46,142
You know, cover me.
236
00:10:46,227 --> 00:10:48,296
Oh, yeah.
That, I can do.
237
00:10:51,654 --> 00:10:53,640
Hodges, my man,
what's happenin'?
238
00:10:53,691 --> 00:10:56,578
I'm, uh...
On my lunch break?
239
00:10:56,647 --> 00:10:58,400
Lunch.
240
00:10:58,468 --> 00:10:59,819
What is lunch...
241
00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:01,622
For Detective Hodges?
242
00:11:01,674 --> 00:11:03,259
Tell me about it.
243
00:11:03,326 --> 00:11:04,493
What's this about, Stark?
244
00:11:04,545 --> 00:11:06,081
What's it about?
Nothing. I'm just talking.
245
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,266
Just 'cause I don't respect you...
246
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,636
doesn't mean
we can't be friends.
247
00:11:08,686 --> 00:11:09,688
Tell me about your lunch.
248
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:12,109
It's a doublicious from kfc.
249
00:11:12,176 --> 00:11:15,699
It's kind of a sweet,
savory chicken sandwich.
250
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:17,018
Hm.
251
00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:18,822
And I got a ginger ale
from the swift mart,
252
00:11:18,873 --> 00:11:20,125
and I picked up some aspirin.
253
00:11:20,191 --> 00:11:21,526
Are you happy?
254
00:11:21,577 --> 00:11:22,528
Let me see.
255
00:11:27,038 --> 00:11:30,593
They named it right.
It's not single-licious.
256
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:31,880
Okay, now, come on.
Give me that.
257
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,686
This has been fun.
258
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:35,771
Has it? Okay.
259
00:11:35,856 --> 00:11:36,572
Hey!
260
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:37,824
Oh! Whoops!
261
00:11:37,892 --> 00:11:39,494
Sorry, Hodges.
Sorry about that.
262
00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:40,563
Hm? Anything good?
263
00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:41,582
Yeah. Very good.
264
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:43,586
Uh, turns out
that this eastin guy...
265
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,739
hasn't just been buying
watery beer.
266
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:48,295
He's been buying drugs online
from overseas...
267
00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:51,885
Amphetamines, Vicodin,
uh, oxycontin.
268
00:11:51,952 --> 00:11:55,124
I mean, it's big stuff... stuff that
landed him on the d.E.A. Watctch list,
269
00:11:55,191 --> 00:11:57,663
which means we can get a warrant
and bust this punk.
270
00:11:57,713 --> 00:11:58,915
L right!
271
00:12:04,794 --> 00:12:07,164
Hey, come on, jacko.
272
00:12:07,232 --> 00:12:09,418
The guy knocked over
a kid's bike.
273
00:12:09,486 --> 00:12:11,856
I think the time
for being polite's over.
274
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:15,212
Eastin, open up,
or we're comin' in!
275
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,238
Got a runner!
276
00:12:20,308 --> 00:12:21,341
We got a runner!
277
00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:22,627
We got a runner!
278
00:12:22,711 --> 00:12:23,795
Aah!
279
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:29,139
How's that
for an open-field tackle?
280
00:12:29,224 --> 00:12:31,594
Let's see, here.
281
00:12:31,662 --> 00:12:33,448
That does not
look like Jeffrey eastin.
282
00:12:33,516 --> 00:12:34,533
No.
283
00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:36,904
My bad.
284
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:39,194
We apologize, ?? That...
285
00:12:39,421 --> 00:12:41,894
you are obviously the victim
of, uh, identity theft,
286
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:43,315
credit-card fraud.
287
00:12:43,399 --> 00:12:46,123
Yeah, and now I can add
police brutality to that list.
288
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,128
Oh, give me a br...
"Police brutality"?!
289
00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:49,415
That was
a love-tap, baby.
290
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,805
If you're so innocent,
how come you were running?
291
00:12:51,873 --> 00:12:53,961
'Cause I thought
you were debt collectors!
292
00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,685
Whoever's doing this, they've
run me up more than 10 grand.
293
00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:57,989
Last week, some guys came by,
294
00:12:58,073 --> 00:12:59,727
threatened to rough me up
if I didn't pay.
295
00:12:59,795 --> 00:13:01,665
Did you call the police?
Of course I did!
296
00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:03,838
They've been "looking into it"
for about eight months.
297
00:13:03,906 --> 00:13:05,392
You know the worst thing?
298
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,682
I went online
to cancel my credit cards,
299
00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:10,055
and this bastard
changed all my passwords!
300
00:13:10,139 --> 00:13:11,526
Oh, my God, jacko.
It's happening.
301
00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:14,234
We're becoming numbers.
The machines have taken over.
302
00:13:14,318 --> 00:13:15,989
Okay, relax, Dan.
Relax.
303
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,041
I hear you.
304
00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:18,328
Relax.
305
00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:19,882
Relax.
306
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,038
Uh, t-the statements,
the credit-card statements,
307
00:13:22,089 --> 00:13:23,091
do you still have them?
308
00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:24,144
Oh, yeah.
309
00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:25,565
Every month, I get a list...
310
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,888
of the great crap this
low-life's buying with my money.
311
00:13:36,211 --> 00:13:38,635
Well, whoever stole
Jeffrey eastin's identity...
312
00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:41,191
has charged $1,000
worth of pizza at this place...
313
00:13:41,258 --> 00:13:42,260
in the past month.
314
00:13:42,312 --> 00:13:43,263
$1,000?
315
00:13:43,315 --> 00:13:44,701
His arteries must be...
316
00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:47,408
as clogged as a toilet
at the state fair.
317
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,781
Man, we should have brought
the kids here.
318
00:13:49,832 --> 00:13:51,419
I don't think it's appropriate...
319
00:13:51,470 --> 00:13:53,124
to bring
the junior officers along...
320
00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:54,512
on an actual investigation.
321
00:13:54,596 --> 00:13:55,765
Come on, jacko.
322
00:13:55,816 --> 00:13:57,687
They love fightin' crime
and eatin' pizza.
323
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:58,941
Uh, excuse me, sir?
324
00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:00,645
Detective Bailey.
This is Detective Stark.
325
00:14:00,697 --> 00:14:01,915
Dallas p.D.
326
00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:04,122
Have you seen
a man who looks like this?
327
00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:07,046
He stole a bunch of credit cards
and...Spit on a bike.
328
00:14:07,131 --> 00:14:08,934
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
We deliver a couple of pizzas...
329
00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:10,305
to him damn nr every night.
330
00:14:10,357 --> 00:14:12,510
He says the second one
is for breakfast.
331
00:14:12,563 --> 00:14:14,433
That's our man.
We got him dead to rights.
332
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:16,321
Yeah, unless
cholesterogets him first.
333
00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:17,826
Do you have a delivery address?
334
00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:19,330
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Let me check.
335
00:14:19,382 --> 00:14:20,884
Think he's over
at vista view apartments.
336
00:14:20,968 --> 00:14:22,305
Yeah, here we go.
337
00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:24,060
You know, for using
someone else's credit card,
338
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:26,233
he sure is a lousy tipper.
339
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,439
There's evil...
In this world.
340
00:14:28,523 --> 00:14:31,782
Some people
are just rotten to the core.
341
00:14:31,866 --> 00:14:33,670
But I thank you
for your service, citizen.
342
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,428
I appreciate it.
343
00:14:36,512 --> 00:14:38,032
Come on, jacko.
344
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,475
First thing in the A.M.
, we take this punk down. Thanks.
345
00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:43,563
These identities are fool-proof!
346
00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:45,034
My guy works
for the government!
347
00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:46,371
I mean, all he has to do...
348
00:14:46,438 --> 00:14:48,244
is, like, type a name
onto a piece of paper,
349
00:14:48,295 --> 00:14:49,580
and bang!...
You exist.
350
00:14:49,631 --> 00:14:51,135
It's, like, totally official.
351
00:14:51,219 --> 00:14:53,257
And while he's getting you
all your official papers,
352
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,427
I do the fun stuff...
353
00:14:54,479 --> 00:14:55,981
You know, your
girly-mag subscriptions.
354
00:14:56,065 --> 00:14:57,486
No, there's no need
for all that.
355
00:14:57,570 --> 00:14:59,190
Just the identities, please.
356
00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,663
Yes, and you will get
your 20,000 American dollars...
357
00:15:01,749 --> 00:15:02,833
for each one.
358
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,371
Whatever floats
your boat, amigo.
359
00:15:04,455 --> 00:15:06,159
Just call me
when you get over the border.
360
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:09,000
Everything is in place.
361
00:15:09,051 --> 00:15:12,093
By this time tomorrow,
we will be Americans...
362
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,981
Matt Clark and Phil hardage.
363
00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:16,154
But I worry
about the cartel.
364
00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:18,210
You know
they will stop at nothing...
365
00:15:18,278 --> 00:15:19,747
when they find us gone.
366
00:15:19,814 --> 00:15:23,641
Not if we kill our bodyguards
before we leave.
367
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,647
That way, they will think...
368
00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:28,355
that they took us also
and killed us.
369
00:15:28,406 --> 00:15:30,025
This is an excellent plan,
Alfredo,
370
00:15:30,077 --> 00:15:33,351
yet also...Very sad.
371
00:15:33,419 --> 00:15:36,293
Don't think of it
as the ending of their lives.
372
00:15:36,378 --> 00:15:38,600
Think of it
as the starting of ours,
373
00:15:38,684 --> 00:15:40,220
as Americans.
374
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,426
♪
375
00:15:43,932 --> 00:15:46,237
Okay, we're looking
for apartment 204.
376
00:15:46,288 --> 00:15:48,209
Will you put the...
377
00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:50,582
What are you doing?
Put your gun away.
378
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,671
Hey, last time
I chased this punk,
379
00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:54,560
I practically pulled a hammy.
380
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:56,231
That's not happening again.
381
00:15:56,299 --> 00:15:59,440
Yeah, well, last time,
this punk...
382
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,195
Wasn't this punk.
383
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,000
You know what?
Don't get technical.
384
00:16:03,085 --> 00:16:05,925
This guy makes a run for it,
I'm clipping him in his knees.
385
00:16:05,992 --> 00:16:08,164
That's what he gets
for being a crappy tipper.
386
00:16:08,215 --> 00:16:09,769
This is it.
387
00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:13,830
Hello?!
388
00:16:16,789 --> 00:16:18,593
Sir, will you open up
the door?!
389
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,317
We're with
the Dallas police department!
390
00:16:21,385 --> 00:16:23,407
Oh, he just turns it up louder!
391
00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:25,813
I got a bad feeling
about this, jacko!
392
00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:27,701
The only reason
to turn the music up...
393
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:29,339
is to cover
the sound of something...
394
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:33,350
...Even louder!
395
00:16:35,809 --> 00:16:37,729
Hup!
396
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,234
Yeah, he jumped!
397
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,029
Damn it!
398
00:16:44,081 --> 00:16:45,919
Okay, I'm gonna call it in!
399
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,473
Okay, you call it in!
400
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,930
I'm gonna find
a place to sit down!
401
00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:52,219
I'm still stiff
from talking to those kids!
402
00:16:53,992 --> 00:16:55,729
Hey!
403
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:59,238
Don't you think it'd be a good
idea to turn the music down?!
404
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:00,258
Oh.
405
00:17:03,134 --> 00:17:04,353
Good call.
406
00:17:04,944 --> 00:17:07,120
Oh. Come on, darling,
407
00:17:07,184 --> 00:17:08,632
you don't need to do that
to yourself.
408
00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:10,118
This is amazing.
409
00:17:10,169 --> 00:17:12,954
This guy vic's been collecting
workers'-comp benefits...
410
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:15,841
under the name "barney rivers"
for the past six months.
411
00:17:15,926 --> 00:17:18,177
How you know his name's vic?
412
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:20,930
I thought you said he was using
a whole bunch of names.
413
00:17:20,981 --> 00:17:22,849
Yeah, well, I just don't think
that the break-up letters...
414
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:24,935
from three different
ex-girlfriends...
415
00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:27,020
would be written
to the fake name.
416
00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:28,573
Take a look at this.
417
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,944
The quality on these I.D.'S
is the best I've ever seen.
418
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,113
Holy...
419
00:17:34,164 --> 00:17:36,999
It's even got
those little 3-d homo-ero...
420
00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:39,618
Uh...Uh,
heliographic dillios on it.
421
00:17:39,669 --> 00:17:40,653
Wow.
422
00:17:40,704 --> 00:17:41,704
That's a good fake.
423
00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:43,256
I don't think it's a fake.
424
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,674
Somehow he managed to get...
425
00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:47,261
a real driver's license
tied to a fictional identity,
426
00:17:47,328 --> 00:17:49,013
but y-you'd have to have
a birth certificate...
427
00:17:49,097 --> 00:17:50,631
in order to do that.
428
00:17:50,682 --> 00:17:53,802
Now, this guy, he's warming up
slices of pizza in a toaster.
429
00:17:53,853 --> 00:17:56,855
I don't think he's smart enough
to forge identity documents.
430
00:17:56,939 --> 00:17:59,025
Yeah, anybody knows, when you
heat up pizza in a toaster,
431
00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,393
you turn the toaster
on the side.
432
00:18:00,477 --> 00:18:01,861
Hey, I found something, too.
433
00:18:04,031 --> 00:18:05,032
That's good, Dan.
434
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:06,316
No, no, no, no, no, no.
435
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:07,701
Right there.
Check that out.
436
00:18:10,321 --> 00:18:11,623
I know this place.
437
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,958
Uh, t-they're a-an industrial
printing house.
438
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,827
They've got the contract
for the city of Dallas...
439
00:18:15,878 --> 00:18:17,246
to do all their
high-end printing.
440
00:18:17,314 --> 00:18:18,747
Well, you know a lot of things.
441
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,382
You're like a computer machine...
442
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,201
with just a touch
of hair gel on top.
443
00:18:22,252 --> 00:18:23,753
Yeah, thanks.
444
00:18:23,838 --> 00:18:25,555
I didn't...
Mean that as a compliment.
445
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,674
Yeah. I know.
446
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:37,653
Vic!
What are you doing here?!
447
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,322
First thing I'm gonna do
is turn off this teacher music...
448
00:18:40,389 --> 00:18:42,258
and put on
something that doesn't suck.
449
00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:44,194
That's more like it.
450
00:18:44,245 --> 00:18:46,079
Cops showed up at my place!
451
00:18:46,163 --> 00:18:49,900
I'm gonna have to crash here for
a while till it cools down!
452
00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:51,619
I thought you said
we wouldn't get caught!
453
00:18:51,703 --> 00:18:53,037
Why were the cops
looking for you?
454
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,006
And how do you know
they didn't follow you here?
455
00:18:55,074 --> 00:18:56,541
How are they
gonna track me, man?
456
00:18:56,592 --> 00:18:59,077
I was like a ghost.
I was like an invisible ghost.
457
00:18:59,128 --> 00:19:01,347
Now, what's to eat in this dump?
Hold on.
458
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:03,299
Y-you know, uh,
y-you staying here...
459
00:19:03,383 --> 00:19:04,634
Maybe not the best idea?
460
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:06,303
T-t-that's
an aged gouda!
461
00:19:06,387 --> 00:19:08,138
What are you talking about?
462
00:19:08,223 --> 00:19:10,407
We're partners.
That's how it works.
463
00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:12,794
You scratch my back,
I eat your cheese.
464
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,046
Maybe sleep in your bed.
Now, come on.
465
00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:17,215
Give me your car keys.
I got to get some booze.
466
00:19:17,299 --> 00:19:19,368
Oh, geez.
467
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,703
You know what?
Let me get some cash, too.
468
00:19:21,755 --> 00:19:23,055
I had to ditch all my plastic.
469
00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:25,175
Hey, now, what about
the printing order?
470
00:19:25,226 --> 00:19:26,810
You're supposed to
pick it up at 2:00.
471
00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:28,979
No can do, Perrier.
You're gonna have to get it.
472
00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:30,081
No!
I have to work!
473
00:19:30,148 --> 00:19:31,482
You promised
you would take care of it.
474
00:19:31,549 --> 00:19:32,984
I don't have
any more sick days, vic.
475
00:19:33,051 --> 00:19:34,235
I mean,
if I lose this job...
476
00:19:34,319 --> 00:19:36,021
Yeah, that sounds like
a "you" problem.
477
00:19:36,072 --> 00:19:37,940
Can I at least get a ride
to the printer?
478
00:19:38,024 --> 00:19:38,991
Huh.
479
00:19:39,058 --> 00:19:40,242
You know...
480
00:19:40,326 --> 00:19:42,445
I think that's gonna be
a little tight,
481
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,280
what with my schedule and such.
482
00:19:44,365 --> 00:19:46,082
Here's an idea...
483
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,386
Be a lamb and cab it for me,
okay, partner?
484
00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:50,504
Later.
485
00:19:50,555 --> 00:19:52,056
Don't slam it!
486
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:01,651
There you are.
What took you so long?
487
00:20:01,718 --> 00:20:02,885
What the hell?
488
00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:04,370
Am I supposed to
walk in there and say,
489
00:20:04,438 --> 00:20:06,440
"excuse me, do you mind
if I plant a listening device...
490
00:20:06,524 --> 00:20:07,774
"in your printing establishment...
491
00:20:07,859 --> 00:20:09,159
so I can overhear
your illegal doings?"...
492
00:20:10,828 --> 00:20:12,396
And then I... I...
493
00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:13,898
Got a burger.
494
00:20:13,949 --> 00:20:16,951
Well, did you at least
get me something?
495
00:20:17,036 --> 00:20:19,288
Well, of course I did.
496
00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:22,257
No, thanks.
All right.
497
00:20:23,576 --> 00:20:25,295
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check it out.
498
00:20:27,014 --> 00:20:28,915
Check out that dude.
499
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,600
He's walking pretty constipated...
500
00:20:30,668 --> 00:20:32,603
for someone
who's just gonna make copies,
501
00:20:32,688 --> 00:20:33,938
wouldn't you say?
502
00:20:34,022 --> 00:20:35,723
I don't know, Dan.
Maybe he is constipated.
503
00:20:35,774 --> 00:20:37,125
No.
504
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:40,095
That's the "I'm about to do
something bad" walk.
505
00:20:40,146 --> 00:20:43,099
Something about that guy's
not right.
506
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,433
Crimey.
507
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:47,620
Okay, Dan...That man
looks nothing like our suspect.
508
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:49,540
And we can't just go around...
509
00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:51,959
arresting people
who look "crimey."
510
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,495
Our suspect just had his door
kicked in by a couple of cops.
511
00:20:54,579 --> 00:20:55,914
You don't think it's possible...
512
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,766
he might send someone else
to do his dirty work?
513
00:20:57,833 --> 00:20:59,217
That's a good point.
514
00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:00,785
That's all I'm saying.
515
00:21:00,836 --> 00:21:02,955
- - Are you Roger?
Sure am.
516
00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:04,640
What can I do you for?
517
00:21:04,725 --> 00:21:06,892
I'm, uh, picking up
a special order.
518
00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:09,796
I'm with the records office.
519
00:21:09,847 --> 00:21:12,215
I thought a fella named vic
was supposed to pick it up.
520
00:21:12,283 --> 00:21:13,818
What did I tell you?
Crimey.
521
00:21:13,902 --> 00:21:16,070
Shall we apprehend
our constipated friend?
522
00:21:16,138 --> 00:21:17,989
After you.
523
00:21:24,698 --> 00:21:27,483
Can I help you boys?
We got a special on cardstock.
524
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,002
Where's the guy
who was just here?
525
00:21:29,086 --> 00:21:31,487
Uh, guy? What guy?
There's no guy in here.
526
00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:33,124
We heard
the whole thing, Roger!
527
00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:36,510
You want us to take you in or you
want to tell us where he is?
528
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:38,547
Perry! His name's Perry.
He went out the back door.
529
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,932
A cab was waiting for him
in the back lot.
530
00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:48,558
You said you did a search
of the perimeter!
531
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:49,977
I did something better.
532
00:21:50,028 --> 00:21:51,862
Prairie dog,
this is bloodhound.
533
00:21:51,946 --> 00:21:53,614
Do you have eyes on the perp?
534
00:21:53,681 --> 00:21:54,982
I got him, sir!
535
00:21:55,049 --> 00:21:56,801
Suspect's in a taxi,
536
00:21:56,869 --> 00:21:58,903
headed across the freeway
on Griffin.
537
00:21:58,988 --> 00:22:00,121
Roger that!
538
00:22:05,545 --> 00:22:08,465
I can't believe you brght
a kid on a stake-out.
539
00:22:08,532 --> 00:22:10,366
Hey, I didn't bring him.
He rode his bike.
540
00:22:10,418 --> 00:22:11,718
He just went down maple.
541
00:22:14,088 --> 00:22:18,375
Is "down" west,
or is "down" east?
542
00:22:18,427 --> 00:22:20,679
I don't know.
It's towards the mall, dude.
543
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,714
Okay, you see?
This is what I mean.
544
00:22:22,766 --> 00:22:24,683
You can't just... left! Left!
Towards the mall!
545
00:22:29,190 --> 00:22:32,660
Oh! You see that?
We got him.
546
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:33,994
What do you say?
547
00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:37,397
Thanks, Teddy.
548
00:22:37,449 --> 00:22:41,086
Hey, you think you can get
a clear shot off here?
549
00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:43,038
I-I'm not gonna shoot
a taxi, all right?
550
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:44,539
We'll just see where it goes,
551
00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:46,242
and we'll get him
when he gets out.
552
00:22:46,293 --> 00:22:48,928
Good point.
Teacher moment.
553
00:22:49,012 --> 00:22:51,965
Prairie dog, this is hound dog.
Do you copy?
554
00:22:52,050 --> 00:22:53,100
Yeah.
555
00:22:53,184 --> 00:22:56,753
Never shoot a defenseless taxi.
556
00:22:56,805 --> 00:22:58,223
Roger that, bloodhound.
557
00:23:03,363 --> 00:23:05,698
Okay. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Wait. Wait a minute.
558
00:23:05,765 --> 00:23:07,817
We don't know what's going on
in that house, all right?
559
00:23:07,901 --> 00:23:08,984
We need to call in for backup.
560
00:23:09,069 --> 00:23:10,770
Backup? It's a pudgy guy
with glasses.
561
00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:12,372
What the hell
we need backup for?
562
00:23:12,439 --> 00:23:14,324
Oh, so, you can call in
an 11-year-old...
563
00:23:14,408 --> 00:23:15,910
to help us
with a stake-out,
564
00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:18,279
but as soon as I call in
the grown-ups for backup,
565
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,280
I'm the bad guy, okay.
566
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:20,614
What is it with you?
567
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:22,334
You have had it in
for these junior officers...
568
00:23:22,418 --> 00:23:24,052
ever since we took them
under our wing.
569
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,971
I don't have it out
for the junior officers.
570
00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:28,641
Why do you hate kids?
I don't hate kids.
571
00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:30,260
We're gonna sit in this car...
572
00:23:30,311 --> 00:23:32,078
until you tell me
why you hate kids.
573
00:23:35,267 --> 00:23:36,483
What'd you bring me?
574
00:23:36,568 --> 00:23:37,818
What have you done?
575
00:23:37,903 --> 00:23:40,305
You've only been here
a couple of hours!
576
00:23:40,356 --> 00:23:42,140
What are you talking about?
577
00:23:42,191 --> 00:23:44,609
I'm just making our house
feel lived-in.
578
00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:45,945
Our house?
579
00:23:48,648 --> 00:23:49,999
What is this?
580
00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:52,953
It's the birth certificates
I said I was gonna get.
581
00:23:53,004 --> 00:23:54,487
Where's the rest of it?
582
00:23:54,539 --> 00:23:56,456
The passports and
social-security cards and crap.
583
00:23:56,524 --> 00:23:57,926
Well, those
are federal documents.
584
00:23:57,993 --> 00:23:59,994
I can't get those things.
I never said that I could.
585
00:24:00,045 --> 00:24:01,846
You trying to cheat me, boy?
586
00:24:01,931 --> 00:24:03,431
W-what? No.
587
00:24:03,498 --> 00:24:04,967
I-I-I-I-I just don't...
588
00:24:05,035 --> 00:24:07,303
I-I don't have access
to the... to the...
589
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:08,938
You don't have
access?
590
00:24:09,005 --> 00:24:10,140
Huh.
591
00:24:10,191 --> 00:24:12,175
Well, you better listen up.
592
00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:16,564
You figure out how to get
access to that stuff,
593
00:24:16,648 --> 00:24:20,384
or this is how
I'm gonna access your brain... ...
594
00:24:20,452 --> 00:24:22,203
Through your stupid face!
595
00:24:22,288 --> 00:24:23,372
No.
596
00:24:23,456 --> 00:24:24,790
Aah! No!
597
00:24:30,464 --> 00:24:31,714
Okay, hey, look.
598
00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:34,250
We are not having this
conversation, Dan, all right?
599
00:24:34,335 --> 00:24:35,386
I don't hate kids.
600
00:24:35,470 --> 00:24:37,338
Yeah, I want to believe that,
601
00:24:37,389 --> 00:24:40,592
but when I see the way you keep
little Teddy at... at arm's length,
602
00:24:40,676 --> 00:24:42,427
i just... I don't...
I don't know.
603
00:24:48,018 --> 00:24:50,403
Now get out of my sight!
604
00:24:50,487 --> 00:24:53,907
And don't come back
until you got my papers!
605
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,192
I-I-I don't hate kids.
606
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,110
I just don't like them
very much. Can we go now?
607
00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:58,278
That breaks my heart.
608
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:01,749
All right.
Thank you.
609
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:06,372
Help! Help! Help!
Call the cops!
610
00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:07,906
Uh, w-we are the cops.
611
00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:09,074
Oh, thank God!
612
00:25:09,125 --> 00:25:11,094
You mind if I get in your car?
613
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:12,429
Uh, no, no.
Not at all.
614
00:25:12,513 --> 00:25:14,631
In fact, we were
just coming to arrest you,
615
00:25:14,715 --> 00:25:15,799
so, yeah, hop in.
616
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:18,219
Oh, for the, uh...
Uh, yeah, yeah.
617
00:25:18,270 --> 00:25:19,920
Well, thank God you're here.
618
00:25:19,972 --> 00:25:21,772
Seriously, I'vbeen doing this
a long time.
619
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,224
I-I-I've never seen this
before.
620
00:25:23,276 --> 00:25:24,776
I'm really in over my head.
621
00:25:24,861 --> 00:25:27,112
This guy vic...
H-he's completely lost it!
622
00:25:27,196 --> 00:25:29,599
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a second. How do you know vic?
623
00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:32,285
Look, just get me to the station
... I'll tell you everything.
624
00:25:32,369 --> 00:25:34,120
Well, this is different.
625
00:25:35,223 --> 00:25:35,849
??
626
00:25:35,907 --> 00:25:37,458
Enough about the train sets...
627
00:25:37,526 --> 00:25:39,078
and the messy refrigerators.
628
00:25:39,162 --> 00:25:41,082
We get it.
Vic's a bad roommate.
629
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:42,751
Now's the time you tell us
about your operation.
630
00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:43,953
Hurry up, fudgey!
631
00:25:44,038 --> 00:25:46,707
Or...Maybe we could go
back to the house,
632
00:25:46,758 --> 00:25:48,961
pick up vic,
bring him back here,
633
00:25:49,029 --> 00:25:51,966
and throw you two in a nice,
tiny, little jail cell.
634
00:25:52,034 --> 00:25:53,969
No, no, no, no!
I'll talk.
635
00:25:54,055 --> 00:25:56,390
I just...
I can't lose my job.
636
00:25:56,441 --> 00:25:58,895
We'll worry about that later.
637
00:25:58,946 --> 00:26:02,734
Right now I want to know
how you got connected with vic.
638
00:26:02,786 --> 00:26:05,438
I work at the county
records office.
639
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:08,812
It's probably...
The worst job in the world.
640
00:26:08,879 --> 00:26:11,382
I'm pretty sure
that the walls of my cubicle...
641
00:26:11,449 --> 00:26:12,784
are made of asbestos.
642
00:26:12,835 --> 00:26:15,589
And I'm about five feet
from the men's crapper,
643
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,927
which means that
all day long, in and out,
644
00:26:17,995 --> 00:26:20,130
guys with
the folded sports page...
645
00:26:20,182 --> 00:26:21,199
We get it.
646
00:26:21,267 --> 00:26:23,153
Now, I-I'd quit,
but I can't.
647
00:26:23,237 --> 00:26:24,638
I got bills, you know?
648
00:26:24,690 --> 00:26:26,641
Then this guy vic came in...
649
00:26:26,693 --> 00:26:30,030
and tried to apply
for retirement benefits.
650
00:26:30,115 --> 00:26:32,952
That's pretty bold
for a 38-year-old male.
651
00:26:33,003 --> 00:26:34,288
Exactly.
652
00:26:34,355 --> 00:26:36,658
A-a-and I was just about to blow
the whistle on him,
653
00:26:36,710 --> 00:26:40,832
when he...Placed $500
on my desk.
654
00:26:40,883 --> 00:26:43,052
You bribey bastard.
655
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,504
"Bribey"?
656
00:26:44,556 --> 00:26:47,026
He sometimes adds "y"s
to the end of words.
657
00:26:47,110 --> 00:26:49,146
Don't let it throw you.
Continue.
658
00:26:49,198 --> 00:26:51,483
I thought it was gonna be
just a-a one-time deal.
659
00:26:51,534 --> 00:26:53,519
Then, six months later,
he came back.
660
00:26:53,572 --> 00:26:55,907
And let me guess...
You were strapped for cash?
661
00:26:55,992 --> 00:26:58,379
It was my wife.
She'd just left me.
662
00:26:58,463 --> 00:27:01,367
Said that I wasn't
sexually satisfying her.
663
00:27:01,435 --> 00:27:03,203
Yeah, never mind
that she left me...
664
00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,806
for another civil servant...
665
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:07,260
who had the same
glandular disorder I have!
666
00:27:07,345 --> 00:27:08,262
A coincidence?
667
00:27:09,599 --> 00:27:11,651
I don't think so.
668
00:27:11,718 --> 00:27:14,439
Now they're tromping around
with half my money.
669
00:27:14,523 --> 00:27:15,608
We get it.
670
00:27:15,692 --> 00:27:18,496
Now get back
to the part about vic.
671
00:27:18,563 --> 00:27:21,668
He offered me 10 grand
to forge some identities...
672
00:27:21,735 --> 00:27:23,671
for him and two foreigners.
673
00:27:23,739 --> 00:27:26,092
What kind of foreigners?
Swedish chicks?
674
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,261
No... Mexican.
675
00:27:27,345 --> 00:27:29,013
Chicks?
Men.
676
00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:32,436
Look, Perry, this is
a very serious crime, okay?
677
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,226
Now, we need to know everything
we can about these guys.
678
00:27:36,277 --> 00:27:38,897
All I know is...
679
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,452
They're on their way here...
680
00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:43,104
Right now.
681
00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:55,675
We have arrived, tico.
We are in the promised land.
682
00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:57,679
Can you smell that?
683
00:27:57,763 --> 00:27:59,098
Smells like chickens.
684
00:28:07,646 --> 00:28:09,415
Por nada.
685
00:28:11,836 --> 00:28:14,707
Why did you pay him
before you shot him, Alfredo?
686
00:28:14,791 --> 00:28:17,428
I wanted him to be happy
when he died.
687
00:28:17,496 --> 00:28:19,832
You are very thoughtful,
Alfredo.
688
00:28:19,884 --> 00:28:22,187
I am no longer Alfredo.
689
00:28:22,271 --> 00:28:24,557
We have to get
our new identities,
690
00:28:24,641 --> 00:28:26,226
build our empire,
691
00:28:26,311 --> 00:28:29,181
crush any rival
that challenges.
692
00:28:29,232 --> 00:28:32,788
Soon, we will be
known and feared as...
693
00:28:32,855 --> 00:28:35,910
Matt and Phil...
694
00:28:35,994 --> 00:28:38,214
Lords of the drug trade.
695
00:28:38,282 --> 00:28:40,000
So, you know where this guy is.
696
00:28:40,051 --> 00:28:41,970
Why haven't you arrested
this vic?
697
00:28:42,037 --> 00:28:44,591
Lieutenant, $20,000
is a lot of money.
698
00:28:44,659 --> 00:28:47,429
Now, you don't spend that kind
of cash on an illegal identity...
699
00:28:47,514 --> 00:28:48,848
unless you're up to no good.
700
00:28:48,899 --> 00:28:51,068
Now, I don't know about you,
but I'm wondering...
701
00:28:51,153 --> 00:28:53,556
what kind of "no good"
these foreign clients are up to.
702
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,175
Okay,
just so I'm clear...
703
00:28:55,243 --> 00:28:58,030
All I asked you to do this week
was work with junior officers,
704
00:28:58,081 --> 00:29:00,585
and now you're asking me
to authorize a sting operation.
705
00:29:00,669 --> 00:29:01,753
I don't think so.
706
00:29:01,838 --> 00:29:03,673
Oh, come on, Ana.
We can do both.
707
00:29:03,740 --> 00:29:05,710
W-we'll just
bring the kids along.
708
00:29:05,761 --> 00:29:07,430
No. Dan is joking.
Right, Dan?
709
00:29:07,514 --> 00:29:09,683
Oh, yeah, of cour... no, we're
not gonna bring the kids.
710
00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:12,054
I mean,
Jack doesn't even like kids.
711
00:29:12,105 --> 00:29:14,475
That's not true.
Look... everything is already set up.
712
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:15,944
We got our guy on the inside.
713
00:29:16,029 --> 00:29:18,114
The d.A.'S office
is ready to sign off on it.
714
00:29:18,198 --> 00:29:20,886
We just need you to authorize it
so we can pull the trigger.
715
00:29:20,953 --> 00:29:23,206
And your guy on the inside...
He's trustworthy?
716
00:29:23,274 --> 00:29:25,944
Oh, please, Ana.
Solid. Solid as a rock.
717
00:29:25,996 --> 00:29:27,998
Where are all my bagel dogs?
718
00:29:28,082 --> 00:29:31,153
I-I-I just bought a family pack
of bagel dogs from costco.
719
00:29:31,220 --> 00:29:34,391
They were supposed to last me
for a month.
720
00:29:34,442 --> 00:29:37,363
What is with you, man?
Will you stop complaining? God!
721
00:29:37,414 --> 00:29:39,801
This is y always hated
having roommates.
722
00:29:39,868 --> 00:29:42,539
Do I complain
when you don't do the dishes...
723
00:29:42,590 --> 00:29:43,758
or my laundry?
724
00:29:43,842 --> 00:29:44,792
No, but...
725
00:29:44,877 --> 00:29:46,346
"No, but" nothin'.
726
00:29:46,413 --> 00:29:49,384
Just tell me about these extra
guys you want to bring in.
727
00:29:49,435 --> 00:29:51,804
They're just like me.
They're like me.
728
00:29:51,888 --> 00:29:53,473
Only t-they're
federal, see?
729
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:55,794
And w-whatever we want,
they can get us.
730
00:29:55,862 --> 00:29:58,165
Great. More paper-pushers.
Sounds like a party.
731
00:29:58,233 --> 00:30:00,736
I don't understand
why you can't do this yourself.
732
00:30:00,788 --> 00:30:02,606
I mean, this
is what I bought you for.
733
00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:04,042
Just trust me, vic.
734
00:30:04,109 --> 00:30:07,280
The paperwork f-for foreigners
is a lot more complicated...
735
00:30:07,332 --> 00:30:08,666
A lot more complicated.
736
00:30:08,751 --> 00:30:11,087
And they can give us
whatever we want.
737
00:30:11,138 --> 00:30:13,524
What do you say?
Just meet them. Fine.
738
00:30:13,592 --> 00:30:15,862
But we're going somewhere
where I can get nachos.
739
00:30:20,203 --> 00:30:21,772
So, you guys work...
740
00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:23,491
in some butt-stinkin'
cubicle all day,
741
00:30:23,575 --> 00:30:24,943
like Perry here?
742
00:30:26,063 --> 00:30:28,249
Man, I swear to God,
I think I'd shoot my face off.
743
00:30:28,300 --> 00:30:30,786
Oh, God. Tell me about it.
744
00:30:31,973 --> 00:30:34,626
Oh, it's... it's hell on earth.
It's trying.
745
00:30:34,678 --> 00:30:36,763
So, I still don't understand...
746
00:30:36,814 --> 00:30:39,902
how come I need so damn many
of you paper-pushers.
747
00:30:42,391 --> 00:30:44,660
This isn't identity theft
anymore, vic.
748
00:30:44,745 --> 00:30:46,280
This is
identity creation.
749
00:30:46,331 --> 00:30:48,483
And none of these "citizens"
have a past...
750
00:30:48,551 --> 00:30:51,171
No report cards,
medical documents,
751
00:30:51,255 --> 00:30:53,459
tax histories, past employers.
752
00:30:53,510 --> 00:30:54,677
We provide that.
753
00:30:54,745 --> 00:30:55,695
Yeah.
754
00:30:57,265 --> 00:30:58,683
I don't get it.
755
00:30:58,751 --> 00:31:00,637
We really need these guys, vic.
756
00:31:00,705 --> 00:31:02,774
Uh...I'll pay for them
out of my cut.
757
00:31:02,841 --> 00:31:05,445
Whatever.
Let's just do this thing.
758
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:07,566
Fantastic.
759
00:31:07,650 --> 00:31:08,967
And who knows?
760
00:31:09,036 --> 00:31:10,571
If you fellas work out good,
761
00:31:10,655 --> 00:31:13,459
maybe we do it again sometime
for some real coin.
762
00:31:13,527 --> 00:31:14,828
Great.
763
00:31:14,879 --> 00:31:18,200
And next time, uh,
can we get Swedish chicks...
764
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,337
instead of Mexican dudes?
765
00:31:20,388 --> 00:31:24,210
After we get our names,
maybe we can see the town.
766
00:31:24,261 --> 00:31:26,313
I've always wanted to see...
767
00:31:26,381 --> 00:31:29,068
where president jfk
was assassinated.
768
00:31:29,153 --> 00:31:31,523
I never believed
the lone-gunman theory.
769
00:31:31,574 --> 00:31:33,944
Uh, perhaps on Saturday
would be better.
770
00:31:34,028 --> 00:31:37,166
We're going to be busy
disposing of the bodies.
771
00:31:37,233 --> 00:31:39,002
Bodies?
772
00:31:39,069 --> 00:31:41,089
The hombres
who sell us the papers.
773
00:31:41,174 --> 00:31:42,758
We cannot leave them alive.
774
00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:44,511
What if the cartel finds them?
775
00:31:44,579 --> 00:31:45,547
Of course.
776
00:31:45,598 --> 00:31:48,083
I don't know
what I was thinking.
777
00:31:48,135 --> 00:31:50,921
No matter. New city...
You were very excited.
778
00:31:50,973 --> 00:31:52,758
I was excited.
779
00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:56,031
But with the killing
and disposing and cleaning,
780
00:31:56,098 --> 00:31:58,234
we're going to be very busy.
781
00:31:58,285 --> 00:32:01,874
So...We are ending their lives
to start our lives again?
782
00:32:01,941 --> 00:32:05,914
No. No, we are just killing
them. It makes it simpler.
783
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,427
Alright, kiddos, listen up!
784
00:32:08,645 --> 00:32:10,951
The d.P.D. Junior academy
is very fortunate...
785
00:32:11,037 --> 00:32:12,941
to have
a guest speaker today...
786
00:32:12,993 --> 00:32:15,450
A special friend of mine,
name of Perry.
787
00:32:15,501 --> 00:32:17,423
He's gonna tell
all you shorties...
788
00:32:17,474 --> 00:32:19,931
about the horrors
of leading a life of crime.
789
00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:21,437
Have at it.
790
00:32:21,488 --> 00:32:23,777
W-w-well, kids, uh,
791
00:32:23,829 --> 00:32:26,721
I've made a-a few mistakes
in my life.
792
00:32:26,788 --> 00:32:28,393
Get straight to the horrors.
Nobody cares.
793
00:32:28,461 --> 00:32:30,483
Everybody makes mistakes.
Not everybody's a criminal.
794
00:32:30,568 --> 00:32:31,821
All right.
Okay.
795
00:32:31,906 --> 00:32:34,111
Well, when you lead
a life of crime,
796
00:32:34,163 --> 00:32:37,121
it... it's easy to fall in,
uh, with the wrong people.
797
00:32:37,173 --> 00:32:38,727
A-a-and you're starving...
798
00:32:38,795 --> 00:32:41,737
because somebody ate
all your bagel dogs,
799
00:32:41,805 --> 00:32:43,275
and then you wake up
one morning...
800
00:32:43,326 --> 00:32:44,864
and there's a guy
peeing in your sink.
801
00:32:46,286 --> 00:32:48,292
I swear to you...
Uh, okay.
802
00:32:48,343 --> 00:32:50,851
So, kids, as you can see,
crime is bad.
803
00:32:53,544 --> 00:32:54,847
What did you do?
804
00:32:54,898 --> 00:32:58,375
I falsified 1099 forms
and aided in the forgery...
805
00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:01,034
of illegal
identification documents.
806
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,014
He stole mail from old people.
807
00:33:05,065 --> 00:33:06,736
You make me sick!
808
00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:08,994
Boo! Boo!
Boo! Boo!
809
00:33:09,062 --> 00:33:11,870
Nice talk, per.
Good talk.
810
00:33:14,011 --> 00:33:16,803
Hey, Teddy.
Everything all right?
811
00:33:16,888 --> 00:33:18,441
Yeah.
812
00:33:18,527 --> 00:33:21,033
Are you sure?
813
00:33:21,102 --> 00:33:22,789
When you get to be a cop...
814
00:33:22,874 --> 00:33:25,414
Can you arrest
the people who were mean to you...
815
00:33:25,466 --> 00:33:26,618
in the sixth grade?
816
00:33:26,670 --> 00:33:29,846
No. No, Teddy. You can't.
817
00:33:29,931 --> 00:33:32,488
Unless they
turn into criminal low-lifes,
818
00:33:32,573 --> 00:33:34,144
which they probably will...
819
00:33:35,466 --> 00:33:38,124
You know, you're a good guy,
Detective Jack.
820
00:33:38,175 --> 00:33:39,763
Really?
821
00:33:39,830 --> 00:33:41,384
Yeah.
822
00:33:41,469 --> 00:33:42,471
Hm.
823
00:33:42,522 --> 00:33:45,615
Kids usually don't like me.
824
00:33:45,682 --> 00:33:47,855
Never have,
even when I was a kid.
825
00:33:47,906 --> 00:33:49,544
Yeah, I get it.
826
00:33:49,629 --> 00:33:51,200
My problem was,
I knew I wanted to be a cop...
827
00:33:51,251 --> 00:33:52,538
when I was 8 years old.
828
00:33:52,605 --> 00:33:55,397
That didn't go over too well
in the third grade.
829
00:33:55,465 --> 00:33:58,190
Or any gra, for that matter,
especially High School.
830
00:33:58,241 --> 00:34:00,832
Look, you're gonna hear
words "narc" and "snitch."
831
00:34:00,900 --> 00:34:03,039
Don't pay attention
to those people, okay?
832
00:34:03,091 --> 00:34:04,879
But you know what?
833
00:34:04,930 --> 00:34:07,103
I'm a grown-up now,
and I'm living my dream.
834
00:34:07,187 --> 00:34:09,277
So I guess the joke's on them,
right, Teddy?
835
00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:12,102
Yeah.
836
00:34:12,154 --> 00:34:13,774
I guess.
837
00:34:20,748 --> 00:34:22,855
Tell me again
why I can't be wearing my piece.
838
00:34:22,939 --> 00:34:24,242
I hate not wearing my piece.
839
00:34:24,311 --> 00:34:25,664
I feel naked without my piece.
840
00:34:25,749 --> 00:34:27,872
Because we're supposed to be
civil servants, Dan.
841
00:34:27,956 --> 00:34:29,827
We're supposed to be
guys from an office...
842
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,183
who process files, all right?
843
00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:33,673
If the Mexicans frisk you
and you're holding a weapon,
844
00:34:33,725 --> 00:34:35,847
it's gonna look kind of weird.
845
00:34:35,899 --> 00:34:37,905
Geez, this cover's depressin'.
846
00:34:37,989 --> 00:34:39,627
Hi.
847
00:34:39,694 --> 00:34:41,532
You guys got the real goods?
848
00:34:41,585 --> 00:34:42,754
Yep, right here.
849
00:34:42,838 --> 00:34:44,259
I knew I liked you guys.
850
00:34:44,344 --> 00:34:46,316
S-s-so, hoare we
gonna handle this?
851
00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:48,723
Uh, I thought maybe
w-we introduce ourselves...
852
00:34:48,775 --> 00:34:50,396
and I hand out
some gum or something.
853
00:34:50,447 --> 00:34:51,952
It's real simple...
854
00:34:52,036 --> 00:34:55,546
I do all the talkin',
you do all the shuttin' up.
855
00:34:57,420 --> 00:34:59,275
Promise me this is gonna work.
856
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:00,396
It will work, okay?
857
00:35:00,447 --> 00:35:01,985
Now we just need to find out...
858
00:35:02,069 --> 00:35:04,242
who these guys are
and what they're up to.
859
00:35:04,309 --> 00:35:06,114
You just need
to try and relax.
860
00:35:06,165 --> 00:35:07,452
You don't understand.
861
00:35:07,504 --> 00:35:09,426
I got to get vic
out of my life now.
862
00:35:09,477 --> 00:35:11,348
I did not sign up
to be a roommate.
863
00:35:11,434 --> 00:35:12,737
Per,
you have my word...
864
00:35:12,804 --> 00:35:14,191
Anything goes south,
865
00:35:14,276 --> 00:35:16,365
y-you can always stay
with Jack for a couple nights.
866
00:35:16,450 --> 00:35:17,836
No, he can't.
867
00:35:19,158 --> 00:35:20,328
Why not?
868
00:35:20,379 --> 00:35:23,003
Now, here are your
social-security cards,
869
00:35:23,055 --> 00:35:25,227
which are 100% authentic.
870
00:35:25,313 --> 00:35:27,284
All right. So we're done here.
Time to get paid.
871
00:35:27,352 --> 00:35:29,525
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on. Hold on. Not yet.
872
00:35:29,577 --> 00:35:32,385
Perry needs to take their
fingerprints, and then we'll be set.
873
00:35:32,469 --> 00:35:33,806
Perry?
874
00:35:33,873 --> 00:35:36,381
I-I just need y-your thumb
and y-your forefinger.
875
00:35:40,195 --> 00:35:43,070
It's a nice place you got here.
Who's your realtor?
876
00:35:43,122 --> 00:35:44,909
Oh, this is just
a vacation rental.
877
00:35:44,961 --> 00:35:47,301
We're moving to a mansion
further back from the street,
878
00:35:47,386 --> 00:35:48,606
with marble pillars...
879
00:35:48,673 --> 00:35:50,612
and enough space in back
for a live alligator.
880
00:35:52,268 --> 00:35:53,237
Yeah.
881
00:35:53,288 --> 00:35:54,993
That should be fine.
882
00:35:57,552 --> 00:36:01,899
I, um... I-I-I just have
one last question.
883
00:36:01,966 --> 00:36:03,621
And, uh, there's no chance...
884
00:36:03,689 --> 00:36:06,163
that your, uh, fingerprints
might show up...
885
00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:09,290
on, I don't know, say,
a federal...Database?
886
00:36:09,341 --> 00:36:10,795
Why do you ask that?
887
00:36:10,846 --> 00:36:12,100
Uh...
888
00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:15,043
Just...Due diligence,
really.
889
00:36:15,111 --> 00:36:17,234
Fingerprints are the one thing
that we can't fake,
890
00:36:17,318 --> 00:36:18,738
so if yours are on file
anywhere,
891
00:36:18,822 --> 00:36:20,159
we need to know and know why.
892
00:36:20,211 --> 00:36:22,083
I mean, we can make
arrangements, of course,
893
00:36:22,167 --> 00:36:24,290
and very discre...
894
00:36:24,358 --> 00:36:27,518
You ask too many questions.
I don't like too many questions.
895
00:36:27,569 --> 00:36:31,564
Phil, you are making
way too much of this.
896
00:36:31,615 --> 00:36:34,123
Señores,
forgive my associate.
897
00:36:34,207 --> 00:36:35,677
The fact is,
898
00:36:35,746 --> 00:36:38,437
it's possible that
our fingerprints are on file.
899
00:36:39,776 --> 00:36:42,400
We're in the drug trade.
We deal drugs.
900
00:36:42,451 --> 00:36:45,327
Cocaine, mostly,
but we do dabble in others.
901
00:36:45,411 --> 00:36:47,751
Ecstasy.
That's no problem at all.
902
00:36:47,802 --> 00:36:49,841
Now, uh, all we got to do...
903
00:36:49,925 --> 00:36:51,798
I got a bad feeling about this.
Is get you set up with some new handprints,
904
00:36:51,849 --> 00:36:53,854
I mean, we just got 'em.
Lickety split, and we're good to go.
905
00:36:53,939 --> 00:36:55,978
He was awfully forthcoming
with all of that information.
906
00:36:56,046 --> 00:36:58,586
I-I-I don't know.
It just feels like he's gonna... ...
907
00:36:58,654 --> 00:37:00,961
...
That!
908
00:37:01,012 --> 00:37:02,048
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
909
00:37:02,133 --> 00:37:03,437
They shot vic!
910
00:37:03,504 --> 00:37:04,724
Hurry up!
What's it gonna be...
911
00:37:04,809 --> 00:37:06,312
Bonnie and Clyde,
Thelma and Louise,
912
00:37:06,363 --> 00:37:08,118
butch Cassidy
and the Sundance kid?!
913
00:37:08,186 --> 00:37:09,690
What?! They all died!
You got that right.
914
00:37:12,901 --> 00:37:14,841
Oh, God!
There's a pool!
915
00:37:16,346 --> 00:37:18,720
Not a good call!
Not a good call!
916
00:37:18,771 --> 00:37:20,330
Good call!
917
00:37:35,681 --> 00:37:37,218
I get you they're gonna
have a real hard time,
918
00:37:37,219 --> 00:37:38,888
getting their
security deposit back!
919
00:37:38,955 --> 00:37:41,059
Move! Move! Move!
920
00:38:10,812 --> 00:38:12,647
Aah! Aah!
My car!
921
00:38:12,699 --> 00:38:15,786
The hell with your car!
They just shot my ear!
922
00:38:15,853 --> 00:38:17,456
Ears grow back!
923
00:38:17,524 --> 00:38:20,461
That window was factory-original!
Son of a bitch!
924
00:38:20,529 --> 00:38:21,580
Blood!
925
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:26,756
Okay, Dan, you know how I'm always
wanting to call in for backup?
926
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,092
Yeah, I think
I'm gonna do that now.
927
00:38:28,176 --> 00:38:29,511
I got it covered.
928
00:38:29,562 --> 00:38:30,980
What do you mean,
you got it covered?
929
00:38:35,438 --> 00:38:36,990
There's the bad guys' car.
930
00:38:37,057 --> 00:38:38,410
Okay, people.
Move! Move! Move!
931
00:38:44,237 --> 00:38:46,039
Hang on, jacko!
932
00:39:04,372 --> 00:39:05,924
How'd you do that?
933
00:39:05,992 --> 00:39:08,111
I didn't do it.
The junior officers did.
934
00:39:08,163 --> 00:39:09,931
That was actually
kind of awesome.
935
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,169
It was just kind of
a "in case" sort of deal.
936
00:39:14,224 --> 00:39:16,760
Police!
937
00:39:16,812 --> 00:39:19,181
Freeze, muchacho!
938
00:39:19,266 --> 00:39:22,770
All right!
Nice and easy.
939
00:39:22,822 --> 00:39:24,908
All right.
Give me your paws back here.
940
00:39:24,975 --> 00:39:26,611
Yeah, we're gonna have to get...
941
00:39:26,662 --> 00:39:29,499
those j.O.'S
some root beers, celebrate.
942
00:39:29,583 --> 00:39:31,670
Am I no longer Phil hardage?
943
00:39:31,737 --> 00:39:35,159
This is the downside
of the American dream, tico...
944
00:39:35,211 --> 00:39:36,294
Law enforcement.
945
00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:39,467
How you doin'?
946
00:39:39,518 --> 00:39:40,802
How you think I'm doin'?
947
00:39:40,854 --> 00:39:43,507
I'm covered in glass,
I'm missing half my ear,
948
00:39:43,558 --> 00:39:45,360
and my house is a Hazmat site.
949
00:39:45,444 --> 00:39:48,316
That's what you get
for turnin' to a life of crime.
950
00:39:49,703 --> 00:39:51,121
Well, gentlemen,
951
00:39:51,189 --> 00:39:52,907
two major figures
in the Mexican drug cartel...
952
00:39:52,991 --> 00:39:55,828
are going down for attempted
murder and identity fraud,
953
00:39:55,896 --> 00:39:57,348
not to mention vic and Perry,
954
00:39:57,416 --> 00:40:00,671
who are also on hold
for identity theft and forgery.
955
00:40:00,722 --> 00:40:03,709
I got to admit...
This was a nice one.
956
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,264
Well, you're welcome, lieu.
We're just doing our job.
957
00:40:06,348 --> 00:40:08,151
I said,
"was a nice one."
958
00:40:09,271 --> 00:40:11,439
This little matter of yours,
959
00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:13,827
of using grade-schoolers as a
part of your sting operation...
960
00:40:13,894 --> 00:40:15,948
Yeah, the d.A.
Wasn't a fan of that.
961
00:40:16,032 --> 00:40:18,536
I know nothing about
the incident to which you refer.
962
00:40:18,604 --> 00:40:19,788
Exactly, Dan.
963
00:40:19,872 --> 00:40:21,907
In order to save ourselves
the embarrassment...
964
00:40:21,959 --> 00:40:24,796
of subpoenaing 10-year-olds to
testify in a major drug trial,
965
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,100
the d.A. Has decided
to turn this case over...
966
00:40:27,168 --> 00:40:28,971
to the Mexican government.
967
00:40:29,055 --> 00:40:31,090
Oh, so they're going to prison,
but in Mexico?
968
00:40:31,142 --> 00:40:32,276
Sí, señor.
969
00:40:32,361 --> 00:40:33,979
And as far as
the Dallas p.D. Is concerned,
970
00:40:34,063 --> 00:40:35,599
we know nothing
of this incident.
971
00:40:35,650 --> 00:40:36,533
Fine.
972
00:40:38,205 --> 00:40:40,657
But those junior
officers still get their trophies.
973
00:40:45,233 --> 00:40:46,485
Hey.
974
00:40:46,552 --> 00:40:48,554
Hey.
975
00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:51,927
You okay?
976
00:40:51,979 --> 00:40:53,563
Fantastic.
977
00:40:53,631 --> 00:40:55,434
Yeah, it's not every day
you find out...
978
00:40:55,485 --> 00:40:57,136
that the biggest bust
of your career...
979
00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:58,472
officially never happened...
980
00:40:58,523 --> 00:41:00,976
and you've wasted a week
of your life in the process.
981
00:41:01,028 --> 00:41:03,146
That's one way
of looking at it.
982
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:05,001
What does that mean?
983
00:41:05,085 --> 00:41:06,920
Well,
after we sorted that mess out,
984
00:41:06,987 --> 00:41:08,507
I got to sit down
with the junior officers.
985
00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:11,962
They told you everything,
didn't they?
986
00:41:12,014 --> 00:41:14,300
Oh, yes. Yes, they did.
And guess what.
987
00:41:14,368 --> 00:41:17,555
Every single one of them
wants to be a cop.
988
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,693
Wow.
989
00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:21,897
Well, I guess ruiz was right.
990
00:41:21,981 --> 00:41:24,618
Detective Dan
has a way with children.
991
00:41:24,686 --> 00:41:25,687
Mm, no.
992
00:41:25,738 --> 00:41:27,240
One of them in particular...
993
00:41:27,324 --> 00:41:29,627
said Detective Jack
had a lot to do with it.
994
00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:30,729
Really?
995
00:41:31,965 --> 00:41:32,490
Hm.
996
00:41:32,623 --> 00:41:33,788
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
997
00:41:34,035 --> 00:41:35,871
How 'bout that.
998
00:41:35,922 --> 00:41:39,210
Guess you're not so bad
with the kids, after all.
999
00:41:39,262 --> 00:41:42,182
Tell the truth... you've never been
more attracted to him in your life.
1000
00:41:44,187 --> 00:41:45,989
I'll catch you later, Jack.
1001
00:41:47,726 --> 00:41:51,782
How do you do that...
Just show up out of nowhere?
1002
00:41:51,868 --> 00:41:53,753
It's a gift.
1003
00:41:53,821 --> 00:41:55,422
I can smell lust.
1004
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,100
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1005
00:41:59,150 --> 00:42:03,700
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