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Adult Adam: Growing up,
my mom was many things,
2
00:00:04,721 --> 00:00:06,958
but cool was definitely not one of them.
3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,090
She would seriously
leave the house like that.
4
00:00:09,158 --> 00:00:12,137
You're not seriously gonna leave
the house like that, are you?
5
00:00:12,139 --> 00:00:13,306
Of course not.
6
00:00:15,197 --> 00:00:17,866
(Clicks tongue)
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00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:21,664
She was an absolute stickler
for her uncool rules...
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00:00:24,206 --> 00:00:25,773
Curfew is 11:00.
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00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:27,201
It's 11:04.
10
00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:29,060
Even the way she worried
about us was uncool.
11
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,841
Do you know what could
happen in four minutes?
12
00:00:30,843 --> 00:00:33,365
You could drown, choke, eat poison berries.
13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,948
And if any of that happens,
then I have failed as a mother.
14
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:37,851
But the most uncool thing of all
15
00:00:37,919 --> 00:00:39,653
was how much our mom loved us.
16
00:00:39,721 --> 00:00:41,922
I made these people... me.
17
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,525
I made them with my body. (Chuckles)
18
00:00:44,592 --> 00:00:46,537
Oh! There's this one now.
19
00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,546
Hey, Erica, it's your mom.
20
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:52,748
Erica, it's your mother! Hi,
Erica and Erica's friends!
21
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:56,271
- Oh, my God. Mom, what are you wearing?
- Isn't this adorable?
22
00:00:56,273 --> 00:01:00,898
That kiosk uses technology
to put memories on a t-shirt.
23
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,335
It's totally cool.
24
00:01:02,337 --> 00:01:05,210
Oh, Jill, look. There's
your mom, too. Louise!
25
00:01:06,406 --> 00:01:09,614
Louise Rubin... the cool mom.
26
00:01:09,616 --> 00:01:11,833
There's always one... hip, youthful,
27
00:01:11,835 --> 00:01:14,854
and wouldn't be caught dead in a
shirt with her kids' faces on it.
28
00:01:14,922 --> 00:01:17,890
Yep, she was the Anti-Beverly.
29
00:01:17,958 --> 00:01:20,026
Oh, look what you've got on.
30
00:01:20,094 --> 00:01:22,295
(Chuckles) Oh.
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00:01:22,363 --> 00:01:23,896
What are the chances, huh?
32
00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:25,865
Are you here to celebrate Choctoberfest
33
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,800
at the Fudge Emporium, too?
34
00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,702
Nope. Just hanging with the girls.
35
00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:32,305
- Which girls?
- These girls. We just did our nails.
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00:01:32,373 --> 00:01:33,873
Oh...
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00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:36,466
So, you drove them here
and had to wait in the car
38
00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:40,568
- while they enjoyed themselves, huh?
- Mom, she's hanging with us, okay?
39
00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,208
We're here to get the new Madonna album.
40
00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:44,654
- don't you just love...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
41
00:01:45,046 --> 00:01:47,184
When you said you were going to the mall
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00:01:47,186 --> 00:01:49,054
with your friend Louise,
I thought that meant
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00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:51,523
a girl from your class, not Mrs. Rubin.
44
00:01:51,591 --> 00:01:53,058
Ugh, I don't want them to call me that.
45
00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:54,693
It makes me feel like such a mom, you know?
46
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,129
Ohh, pfft. Yeah.
47
00:01:57,196 --> 00:01:59,631
That's why I like Erica's
friends to call me Bev.
48
00:01:59,699 --> 00:02:00,599
Sounds good, Bev.
49
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:01,766
Don't like it. Go back.
50
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:04,035
Okay, this was fun. See you at dinner?
51
00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,938
Yep. Got to fix some din-din.
52
00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:08,406
Hmm.
53
00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:11,710
Chicken's not gonna pot-pie itself,
know what I'm sayin'? (Chuckles)
54
00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:13,545
Cool. Nice catching up, Bev.
55
00:02:13,613 --> 00:02:15,780
Okay, see you on the fliflop! (Chuckles)
56
00:02:15,848 --> 00:02:19,826
The nerve of that woman, cold
chillin' with my daughter at the mall.
57
00:02:19,828 --> 00:02:22,794
Erica should be cold
chillin' with me, not her!
58
00:02:22,796 --> 00:02:26,122
What are you talking about? You
cold chill with Erica all the time.
59
00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:27,124
No.
60
00:02:27,192 --> 00:02:29,160
I only feed her soup when she's sick
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00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:32,310
and give her boric-acid
drops when she's got pinkeye.
62
00:02:32,312 --> 00:02:35,076
I'm in the trenches doing
the important, boring stuff.
63
00:02:35,078 --> 00:02:36,701
But when it comes time for fun,
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00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:38,736
well, she heads straight to Louise Rubin.
65
00:02:38,804 --> 00:02:41,585
Wait. We're talking
about Louise Rubin here?
66
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:42,787
Oh, she's the coolest.
67
00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:44,099
- What?
- Yeah!
68
00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:45,743
She'll cut the top off her shirt
69
00:02:46,536 --> 00:02:48,036
just to show her shoulder.
70
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,713
Well, I can do that.
71
00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:53,216
See? I'm just as cool as the next mom.
72
00:02:53,284 --> 00:02:57,220
- W-what are you doing?
- I'm trying to expose my shoulder!
73
00:02:57,288 --> 00:03:00,023
Poop. I just stretched it out.
74
00:03:00,091 --> 00:03:02,302
Stop stretching your sweater.
75
00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:04,240
- Okay.
- Stop!
76
00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:07,888
Well, I got to stretch my sweater
out so I can show my shoulder.
77
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,599
- Mm-hmm-hmm.
- Why won't you stop?!
78
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,335
I don't know why you can't
stop, but you need to stop!
79
00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:15,371
I'm twisted up inside
80
00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:19,062
but nonetheless I
feel the need to say
81
00:03:21,111 --> 00:03:22,712
I don't know the future
82
00:03:22,714 --> 00:03:26,584
but the past keeps
getting clearer every day
83
00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:29,020
It was October 22, 1980-something,
84
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:32,187
and I was spending the
night with my Apple II Plus.
85
00:03:32,189 --> 00:03:34,390
It had a whopping 16k of RAM,
86
00:03:34,392 --> 00:03:37,361
Dot Matrix printer, 32-bit color graphics,
87
00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:39,873
and badass,
thrill-a-minute video games
88
00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,585
like "Oregon Trail."
89
00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:43,476
(Beeping)
90
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:45,593
- Balls!
- (Door opens)
91
00:03:45,595 --> 00:03:47,039
- (Door closes)
- While I spent time with my computer,
92
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,507
Barry was hanging with
his new crew of dudes.
93
00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:51,671
They called themselves
the "Jenkintown Posse"...
94
00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,107
- JTP!
- Together: JTP!
95
00:03:53,577 --> 00:03:54,944
JTP for short.
96
00:03:55,012 --> 00:03:57,613
They were older, cooler,
and lived on the edge.
97
00:03:57,681 --> 00:04:00,116
There was Jeff Schwartz, the madman...
98
00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,218
Potato chips on a sandwich? I'm crazy!
99
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,220
(Laughter) Andy Cogan, the ladies man
100
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,055
who never let his height get in the way.
101
00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:08,312
(Sighs) Can a brother get a steppin' stool?
102
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,026
And "Naked Rob,"
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00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:11,794
one of those dudes who loved getting nude.
104
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,295
This tank top's chafing
me. I got to take it off.
105
00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:15,097
- Don't! Come on.
- Adam: Yo.
106
00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:17,099
What you wild cats up to tonight?
107
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:21,470
Whatever it is, you know
it'll involve some ladies! Aah!
108
00:04:21,472 --> 00:04:24,343
- How many ladies?
- So many it's gonna be crazy!
109
00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:26,279
- (Laughter)
- Oh, man. How crazy?
110
00:04:26,281 --> 00:04:28,781
So crazy someone may get in-jured!
111
00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,784
- Barry: Yo, baby! It's on, baby!
- Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!
112
00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:33,555
Details! Name some of the
crazy stuff you guys did!
113
00:04:33,557 --> 00:04:34,824
You know how our school's always trying
114
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:36,627
to get their hands on
Germantown High mascot?
115
00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:38,229
You stole Frankie the Falcon?!
116
00:04:38,722 --> 00:04:41,757
W-well, I mean, not yet.
117
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,728
But once we do it, we'll
be kings of the school.
118
00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:45,664
JTP! JTP!
119
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:46,933
JTP! JTP!
120
00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:48,869
- JTP!
- Dude...
121
00:04:49,199 --> 00:04:52,968
You can't say "JTP"
unless you're in the JTP.
122
00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,304
A man could only dream.
123
00:04:55,372 --> 00:04:57,473
JTP out!
124
00:04:57,541 --> 00:05:00,460
To the JTP, I was just a
nerd obsessed with computers.
125
00:05:00,462 --> 00:05:03,564
That all changed the day
"Porky's II" was sold out
126
00:05:03,566 --> 00:05:05,834
and they were forced to see "Wargames,"
127
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,561
a movie about a kid who hacks his way
128
00:05:07,563 --> 00:05:10,390
to better grades and
almost blows up the world.
129
00:05:10,391 --> 00:05:13,005
_
130
00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:16,625
Suddenly, they all realized
that computer were awesome!
131
00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:20,063
Dude! I just saw the best movie ever!
132
00:05:20,296 --> 00:05:21,563
"Wargames."
133
00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:23,833
All this time, I thought computers
134
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,801
were for lazy-eyed losers like you,
135
00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:27,970
but they're actually badass.
136
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:30,242
- Thank you?
- Can you do any of that stuff?
137
00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:32,320
I can make you a really sweet banner.
138
00:05:32,322 --> 00:05:33,257
I have print shop.
139
00:05:33,259 --> 00:05:35,367
Can you start a global
thermonuclear war on this thing?
140
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,503
- Probably.
- Don't do it! There is no winner.
141
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,938
What else?
142
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:40,374
But what about hacking the school?
143
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,156
Can you change my grades?
144
00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:46,127
Well, I would if I was in the JTP.
145
00:05:46,331 --> 00:05:48,265
Uh, it'll take some
convincing 'cause the guys
146
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,835
all think you suck,
but... I'll make it happen.
147
00:05:50,837 --> 00:05:51,803
(Debarge's "Rhythm Of The Night" plays)
148
00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:53,632
Welcome to the Jenkintown Posse.
149
00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,669
While I was one step closer to coolness,
150
00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:59,734
- my mom was about to take 50 steps back.
- Stop, stop.
151
00:06:02,421 --> 00:06:03,623
'Sup, ladies?
152
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,708
when it feels like the
world is on your shoulders
153
00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:08,043
Why are you dressed like a giant doily?
154
00:06:08,111 --> 00:06:11,313
Just expressing myself
like our gal Madonna.
155
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:13,883
Mom, that's "El" debarge. He's a dude.
156
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:16,152
And since when do you like Madonna, anyway?
157
00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:18,721
Oh, since I heard her rockin'
song about staying a virgin.
158
00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:23,365
It's very cool to wait. Is
that my sixth-grade tutu?
159
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,896
Mom, why... What are
you doing with your hips?
160
00:06:26,218 --> 00:06:27,583
Stop it with your hips.
161
00:06:27,585 --> 00:06:29,799
Why are you moving your hips like that?
162
00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:31,700
-
You can leave them all behind
- Mom? Okay.
163
00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:33,102
No, mom, stop. (Click)
164
00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,137
Well, I just want to hang
out with my girls, right?
165
00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:37,239
Um, what do you say we, uh,
166
00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:41,507
read some teen magazines
and gossip about boys?
167
00:06:41,509 --> 00:06:42,742
I'll go first.
168
00:06:42,796 --> 00:06:45,078
I like Murray. You go, Lainey.
169
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,715
Uh, you smudged your beauty
mark all over your upper lip.
170
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,752
Okay, you need to go. Come on.
171
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:52,086
What?
172
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:55,356
You let Louise Rubin hang
out. Why not the Bevernator?
173
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:56,458
I'm fun, too!
174
00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:58,523
Of course you are,
just not hang-out fun...
175
00:06:58,525 --> 00:07:00,326
More like a "I have a
freckle and I need you
176
00:07:00,328 --> 00:07:01,962
to tell me if it's worth being looked at
177
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,331
by a dermatologist" kind of fun.
178
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,201
Every freckle is worth being
looked at by a dermatologist.
179
00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,135
Why don't you schedule an
appointment for next weekend?
180
00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:09,303
We can hang-out then, okay?
181
00:07:09,371 --> 00:07:11,238
(Sighs) Yeah.
182
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,606
Adult Adam: Madonna was a bust,
183
00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:15,802
so my mom went to plan "B"... Dermatology.
184
00:07:15,804 --> 00:07:18,911
No, I can't wait six
weeks to see Dr. Krogen!
185
00:07:18,913 --> 00:07:21,148
He's the last chance I have
to bond with my daughter.
186
00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:22,783
Please don't take this away from me!
187
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,117
I'm begging you!
188
00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:26,719
This sad display made
the impossible happen...
189
00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:28,588
My dad got off his ass.
190
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,558
Good news... your gonna
hang with your mom tomorrow.
191
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,026
(Scoffs) No freaking way.
192
00:07:33,094 --> 00:07:34,995
(Chuckling) Oh, yes freaking way.
193
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:37,130
Or else all the things I don't care about,
194
00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:39,533
I'm gonna start having strong opinions on,
195
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,570
like your allowance... Gone!
196
00:07:42,035 --> 00:07:42,935
No!
197
00:07:42,937 --> 00:07:44,538
Curfew? 6:00 P.M.
198
00:07:44,605 --> 00:07:46,139
- What?
- Skirt length?
199
00:07:46,222 --> 00:07:48,137
- No skirts!
- What?
200
00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,599
Just pants with pleats.
201
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:51,601
Not the pleats.
202
00:07:51,745 --> 00:07:53,723
Oh-ho. Pleats a plenty.
203
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:57,717
Your mom is upstairs hurting,
and I can't bear to watch it.
204
00:07:57,785 --> 00:08:00,987
So what's it gonna be?
205
00:08:01,055 --> 00:08:03,707
As my sister was facing
a night with my mom,
206
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,158
I was facing the reality
207
00:08:05,225 --> 00:08:07,121
of what hacking was in the '80s...
208
00:08:07,123 --> 00:08:08,127
(Beeping)
209
00:08:08,718 --> 00:08:10,018
Impossible.
210
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,030
(Static crackling) Whoa!
211
00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:14,233
This phone is sick or something.
212
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,264
Hang up! I-I'm trying to hack!
213
00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:17,936
This is a nightme.
214
00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:20,439
I mean, I'm starting to
think a major motion picture
215
00:08:20,507 --> 00:08:23,342
has lied to me about the
capabilities of home computers.
216
00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,811
O-okay, relax. How can I help?
217
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:29,013
You can't! I'll never be in the JTP!
218
00:08:29,015 --> 00:08:32,818
Come on, Adam. You're a great kid.
Those guys will learn to love you
219
00:08:32,885 --> 00:08:34,453
if you just be yourself.
220
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,555
Wait. Learning.
221
00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:39,285
- That's it! You're a genius!
- Really?
222
00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,393
I-I just said some pat things to make
you feel better, but I'll take it.
223
00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,696
If Barry and his friends wanted me to hack,
224
00:08:44,764 --> 00:08:48,667
that was exactly what I'd
do... Hack their brains.
225
00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,832
Access granted. We're in.
226
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,230
- Yes! Awesome!
- Sweet!
227
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,238
Okay, in order for me to hack
your grades, I'll need to go in
228
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,275
and input all the data
that'll be on your test.
229
00:08:57,657 --> 00:08:59,824
- Wait, why would you have to do that if...
- No time to argue!
230
00:08:59,826 --> 00:09:04,316
Jeff Schwartz, which significant
historical event occurred in October, 1929?
231
00:09:04,318 --> 00:09:06,326
Um... The stock market crashed.
232
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,950
Naked Rob, verify.
233
00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:09,319
He's right. He's right.
234
00:09:09,321 --> 00:09:11,455
Uh, it ended the jazz age and
began the great depression.
235
00:09:11,523 --> 00:09:12,523
(Keyboard clacking)
236
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:16,660
Andy Cogan, what did President Roosevelt
call his program to jump-start the economy?
237
00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:21,375
- The new deal, enacted in 1933.
- Okay, open your books to chapter 2.
238
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:22,978
Go, go, go!
239
00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:24,535
Let's hack.
240
00:09:24,602 --> 00:09:26,070
Ooh.
241
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,373
No, Naked Rob's right. It
was Plessy vs. Ferguson.
242
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:36,011
So awesome we didn't have to
learn this crap for the test.
243
00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:37,413
Yeah. Yeah.
244
00:09:37,481 --> 00:09:40,884
They weren't a smart crew,
but now they were my crew.
245
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:44,754
Wow. That is a cauldron of cheese.
246
00:09:44,822 --> 00:09:46,523
I read about it in Tiger Beat.
247
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:50,226
They say "fondue equals fun-due!"
248
00:09:50,294 --> 00:09:51,361
(Chuckles) Do they?
249
00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:53,429
So, let's go wild, huh?
250
00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:56,633
Uh... oh! Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah!
251
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,335
Hot, hot, hot! Hot! Aah, aah, aah, aah!
252
00:09:59,778 --> 00:10:01,379
(Snaps fingers) Excuse me?
253
00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:04,490
I'd like to report some unsafe cheese.
254
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:07,775
What if someone tried to feed
that to an infant or a dog?
255
00:10:07,777 --> 00:10:11,646
Mom, look who it is! What a coincidence!
256
00:10:11,714 --> 00:10:14,549
Erica, Mrs. Goldberg, what
are you guys doing here?
257
00:10:14,617 --> 00:10:15,851
Just hangin',
258
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:18,854
not in like a mother-daughter way,
but more of like in a girlfriends way.
259
00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:20,322
Isn't that cool?
260
00:10:20,390 --> 00:10:21,490
(Chuckles) Totally.
261
00:10:21,557 --> 00:10:25,293
Speaking of cool, we're gonna go volunteer
at the soup kitchen for extra credit.
262
00:10:25,361 --> 00:10:27,183
Wait a minute, Erica.
263
00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:29,029
Don't you need some extra credit?
264
00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:32,545
Thanks for looking out, Jill.
You're such a good friend.
265
00:10:32,547 --> 00:10:35,082
Wow. Extra credit. (Chuckles)
266
00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:37,905
You should definitely do that.
267
00:10:37,973 --> 00:10:42,143
Say, what's the name of this soup kitchen?
268
00:10:43,116 --> 00:10:44,850
Um...
269
00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:49,316
Helping hands, uh... Feeding needy mens
270
00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:53,153
and... a lady who is also hungry.
271
00:10:53,221 --> 00:10:55,255
We should go. Yeah.
272
00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:57,457
You tried to ditch me?
273
00:10:57,459 --> 00:10:59,560
- My own daughter?
- Yes!
274
00:10:59,628 --> 00:11:01,829
The only reason I'm here
is because dad forced me.
275
00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:03,163
Well, I'll tell you what, buttercup...
276
00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,065
As of now, I'm ditching you.
277
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,333
What? You can't ditch me.
278
00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:08,168
- Oh, you've been ditched.
- Uh, no.
279
00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:10,437
I'm the ditcher here, not you.
280
00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:12,072
Well, the ditch got switched.
281
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,507
I will not be ditched.
282
00:11:13,575 --> 00:11:15,576
The ditch is done.
283
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:22,305
The moment had finally come.
284
00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:24,841
The JTP had accepted me into their fold.
285
00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:27,477
It was time to see how
the other half lived.
286
00:11:27,544 --> 00:11:29,608
- Aah! Brain freeze!
- We're insane!
287
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:30,872
(Screams)
288
00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,982
(Sighs) Yeah.
289
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:37,311
Turns out, the other half
lived like a bunch of idiots.
290
00:11:37,313 --> 00:11:39,545
Ow! Dude, that hurt so
bad. That was awesome.
291
00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:40,514
(Chuckles) Yeah? Yeah.
292
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:42,091
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Uh, no, man!
293
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,927
Your feet and hands should be in sync.
294
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,296
Go! Go! Naked Rob doing what he do!
295
00:11:48,298 --> 00:11:49,197
Yeah!
296
00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:52,766
(Indistinct conversation)
297
00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:54,870
Oh, my God!
298
00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,238
(Indistinct taling)
299
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:59,941
(All talking)
300
00:12:00,009 --> 00:12:01,543
Guys, I just found a
toaster in the trash can.
301
00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:03,645
Sweet! Let me throw it up in the air!
302
00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:07,582
Oh!
303
00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:08,550
Yes!
304
00:12:08,618 --> 00:12:10,385
It's more broken now!
305
00:12:10,453 --> 00:12:11,753
Madman Schwartz strikes again!
306
00:12:11,821 --> 00:12:14,523
The guys promised me
girls and stolen mascots,
307
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:17,125
but all I got was 6% dumber.
308
00:12:18,032 --> 00:12:19,895
- Hey, dad.
- Bevy?
309
00:12:19,962 --> 00:12:23,827
I thought you'd be elbow deep
in some hot cheese by now.
310
00:12:23,829 --> 00:12:28,727
Erica cannot even cold
chill with me a single night.
311
00:12:28,871 --> 00:12:30,171
Be honest with me...
312
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:32,373
Am I the lamest person on the planet?
313
00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:35,777
Uh... Let's get you a drink.
314
00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:37,416
Ray.
315
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:42,081
Relax, Bevy.
316
00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:45,419
You don't need to be cool.
That's what you got me for.
317
00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:49,356
But I want to be. Teach
me to be cool, daddy?
318
00:12:49,424 --> 00:12:52,293
No can do. You either got it, or you don't.
319
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,928
'Sup, baby?
320
00:12:53,995 --> 00:12:57,398
But, hey, that doesn't mean
that you can't have a good time.
321
00:12:57,465 --> 00:12:59,700
Well, I've been trying to
have a good time all day,
322
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:02,469
which is why I ate all the cheese...
323
00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:04,939
Which is sitting like a rock, by the way.
324
00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:08,409
Well, that's your problem,
honey... you try too hard.
325
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:11,478
You want fun? Well, buckle up, old man.
326
00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:12,479
(Chuckles)
327
00:13:12,547 --> 00:13:14,148
Ooh.
328
00:13:14,215 --> 00:13:17,147
Pops was right... it was
time for Beverly Goldberg
329
00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:18,655
to care less and drink more.
330
00:13:18,657 --> 00:13:20,054
(Sighs)
331
00:13:20,121 --> 00:13:24,165
- (Spits) Or just stick to Daiquiris.
- That was fun.
332
00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:26,961
Dude! You're our hero!
333
00:13:27,028 --> 00:13:28,928
What? Why?
334
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:30,330
Because the hacking worked!
335
00:13:30,398 --> 00:13:31,932
We just found out we got
B's on our history test.
336
00:13:31,999 --> 00:13:33,900
It's awesome! (Laughter)
337
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:36,369
We got a bio test on
Monday. Let's get hacking.
338
00:13:36,437 --> 00:13:39,506
I'd love to help, but this game
doesn't have a saving function.
339
00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:41,942
If I quit now, I-I'd lose my place.
340
00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:43,310
Then lose your stupid place.
341
00:13:43,377 --> 00:13:44,878
(Beep)
342
00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:46,845
Oh, my God!
343
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,748
How clueless can you guys be?
344
00:13:48,816 --> 00:13:50,450
Shut up and hack for your posse!
345
00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:52,018
Hacking isn't real.
346
00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:54,187
- What?!
- Then how did we get B's?
347
00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:57,156
'Cause I actually tricked
you boneheads into studying.
348
00:13:57,224 --> 00:14:00,159
Whoa. You taught us?
That's so messed up, dude.
349
00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:03,999
Yeah, we trusted you and you lied to us
like Senator McCarthy lied to congress
350
00:14:04,001 --> 00:14:06,664
about the threat of communism in 1953.
351
00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:09,168
And, oh, my God, why do I know this?!
352
00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:11,303
We were right about you,
man. You're just a nerd.
353
00:14:11,371 --> 00:14:14,239
I'm a nerd? Well, what about you putzes?
354
00:14:14,307 --> 00:14:16,842
All you guys do is hang
around in a parking lot
355
00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,477
hiding from girls.
356
00:14:18,545 --> 00:14:20,779
I mean, the craziest thing that happened
357
00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,714
was Jeff Schwartz ate a hoagie!
358
00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:26,452
In 20 seconds! Like a madman!
359
00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:29,488
He ate dinner, Barry. He ate dinner!
360
00:14:29,556 --> 00:14:30,823
You take that back!
361
00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:32,124
Andy: That's it.
362
00:14:32,192 --> 00:14:34,526
We're kicking you both
out of the JTP forever.
363
00:14:34,594 --> 00:14:35,661
What?! Why me?!
364
00:14:35,728 --> 00:14:36,995
Uh, because he's your brother
365
00:14:37,063 --> 00:14:38,297
and he just shined a light on us
366
00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:39,698
that makes us question everything!
367
00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:42,434
You can't kick me out.
I'm the founding member.
368
00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:44,903
Yeah, and now you're banned,
like how the Volstead act
369
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,239
banned alcohol from the country in 1919.
370
00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:49,207
- It's 1920, bro.
- Good catch, bro.
371
00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:51,425
JTP out.
372
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:53,879
Thanks a lot!
373
00:14:53,947 --> 00:14:56,782
While Barry went to bed angry at me,
374
00:14:56,850 --> 00:15:00,183
my sister was wide awake and about to learn
375
00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,987
what it felt like to be
a worried, uncool mother.
376
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,423
Where have you been?!
377
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,892
I've been worried sick about you!
378
00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,562
Do you have any idea what time it is?!
379
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:10,333
Yes. It's time to boogie.
380
00:15:10,335 --> 00:15:14,138
O-okay, honey, you've done
enough bogeying for one night.
381
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:16,074
Oh, my God. She's drunk.
382
00:15:16,535 --> 00:15:18,803
You are such a bad influence.
383
00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:21,139
- Come on. Be cool about this.
- (Chuckles)
384
00:15:21,141 --> 00:15:22,675
It is not my job to be cool.
385
00:15:22,677 --> 00:15:24,727
You are not hanging out
with her again. Understood?
386
00:15:24,729 --> 00:15:27,102
Wait, this is important. This is important.
387
00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:28,171
What?
388
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,716
I love you, too, mommy.
389
00:15:31,784 --> 00:15:33,551
Okay, you can handle it from here.
390
00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:34,919
I got a meter running.
391
00:15:34,987 --> 00:15:36,921
Woof. Okay, she is a train wreck.
392
00:15:36,989 --> 00:15:38,723
Please do not leave me alone with her.
393
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:40,892
Your mother's taken care
of you your whole life.
394
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:43,513
The least you can do is take
care of her for one night.
395
00:15:43,515 --> 00:15:45,816
Beverly: Yeah! And you know what else?
396
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:47,965
Whoo-whoo.
397
00:15:50,141 --> 00:15:51,942
(Snoring)
398
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,479
Mom, I want waffles.
399
00:15:56,547 --> 00:15:58,148
Mom, waffles.
400
00:15:58,216 --> 00:15:59,849
Mom, waffles.
401
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,619
Mom, waffles, mom, waffles, mom, waffles.
402
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:04,054
Hey, get away!
403
00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:05,689
I just got her down.
404
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,258
Adam: I got you covered in here, big guy!
405
00:16:08,638 --> 00:16:11,339
"I am sor"?
406
00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:13,128
It's supposed to say "sorry."
407
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:16,799
I ran out of ink, and even
this took me an hour to print.
408
00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:18,722
I made waffles.
409
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:22,526
Your apology's not accepted!
You made me lose my crew!
410
00:16:22,528 --> 00:16:24,773
Okay, so maybe we weren't the coolest,
411
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,143
and madman Jeff Schwartz isn't that crazy,
412
00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:29,245
and Naked Rob's got real problems,
413
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,246
but (Sighs) I don't know.
414
00:16:31,248 --> 00:16:32,949
I've never had close friends before.
415
00:16:34,005 --> 00:16:36,651
- Then you just got to make it up to them.
- How?!
416
00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,822
We do the one thing the JTP
never had the guts to do...
417
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:42,224
Steal the Germantown mascot.
418
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,393
Never surrender
419
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,462
(Beep)
420
00:16:47,731 --> 00:16:49,365
(Keyboard clacking)
421
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,903
(Printer whirring)
422
00:16:58,842 --> 00:17:00,943
Radical!
423
00:17:01,011 --> 00:17:04,180
(Tires squeal)
you
were born a fighter
424
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:09,547
in the bird, a mighty warrior
425
00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:12,118
driven by desire
426
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,688
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
427
00:17:13,755 --> 00:17:16,490
Glory calls, it's waiting for you
428
00:17:16,558 --> 00:17:17,758
when your back's against the wall
429
00:17:17,826 --> 00:17:19,193
Class started five minutes ago.
430
00:17:19,261 --> 00:17:21,228
(Sighs)
431
00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:22,763
Here you go, my good man.
432
00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:27,450
- Hall pass.
-
Never surrender, never say die
433
00:17:27,502 --> 00:17:29,503
- Get to class.
-
you've got the heart of a hero
434
00:17:29,571 --> 00:17:32,473
never surrender
435
00:17:32,541 --> 00:17:34,275
the will to survive
436
00:17:34,342 --> 00:17:35,443
(Falcon calls)
437
00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,912
Slow down! You're making it nervous!
438
00:17:37,979 --> 00:17:40,181
This is awesome!
439
00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:41,348
Not awesome!
440
00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:42,950
I thought you were stealing a costume,
441
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,251
not a real freaking falcon!
442
00:17:44,319 --> 00:17:46,458
(Whimpers) Oh, crap! (Laughs)
443
00:17:49,157 --> 00:17:51,784
Erica: Good morning, sunshine.
444
00:17:51,786 --> 00:17:53,253
Feel as good as you look?
445
00:17:53,255 --> 00:17:55,425
I am so sorry about last night.
446
00:17:55,427 --> 00:17:57,598
I hope I didn't do
anything too embarrassing.
447
00:17:57,666 --> 00:18:00,081
Well, you cried and
said "I love you" a lot,
448
00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:01,901
so no different from normal.
449
00:18:01,903 --> 00:18:03,603
What was I thinking?
450
00:18:03,671 --> 00:18:06,773
You were thinking that I'm
awful for trying to ditch you.
451
00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:10,005
No. You're wonderful.
452
00:18:10,309 --> 00:18:12,978
You took care of your mom all night long.
453
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:17,206
Hey, that was just for one
night, and I wanted to die.
454
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,419
Somehow, you do it every day for all of us,
455
00:18:21,341 --> 00:18:23,472
and that's actually pretty cool.
456
00:18:23,474 --> 00:18:26,943
(Debarge's "Rhythm Of The Night" plays)
457
00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:31,992
I love you so much.
458
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:33,323
Are you still drunk?
459
00:18:33,325 --> 00:18:36,683
- Just buzzed.
- But every "I love you" is for real.
460
00:18:36,685 --> 00:18:39,504
Oh, feel the beat of
the rhythm of the night
461
00:18:39,506 --> 00:18:41,240
dance until the morning light
462
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:43,109
forget about the
worries on your mind
463
00:18:43,176 --> 00:18:44,443
you can leave them all behind
464
00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:47,313
Dude, Goldberg stole the
Germantown High mascot.
465
00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:48,714
Couldn't have done it alone, Ari.
466
00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:51,584
This was the work of the JTP.
467
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,252
-
Oh, oh, yeah
- Yes!
468
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,757
All: JTP, JTP, JTP!
469
00:18:57,824 --> 00:19:03,062
JTP, JTP, JTP, JTP, JTP!
470
00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:06,365
Yep, with a little help
from me and Apple II Plus,
471
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,534
Barry was back in the JTP.
472
00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:12,004
Why do they make him wear
this stupid bird hat anyway?
473
00:19:12,072 --> 00:19:13,939
All: JTP! JTP!
474
00:19:14,007 --> 00:19:16,542
Feel the beat of the
rhythm of the night
475
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:18,862
-
dance until the morning light
- He'll come back.
476
00:19:18,864 --> 00:19:20,680
-
Forget about the worries on your mind
- (Falcon calls)
477
00:19:20,747 --> 00:19:22,722
You can leave them all behind
478
00:19:22,724 --> 00:19:24,281
feel the beat of the
rhythm of the night
479
00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:25,984
That's the thing about family.
480
00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:27,986
They may not be the
coolest cats on the planet,
481
00:19:28,054 --> 00:19:30,455
but they're always
there to take care of you
482
00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:31,823
when you need them most.
483
00:19:31,891 --> 00:19:34,025
Oh, oh, yeah
484
00:19:34,093 --> 00:19:35,827
Hey, what you up to?
485
00:19:35,895 --> 00:19:36,828
Mom got a new toaster.
486
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,330
Thought I'd maybe call the JTP.
487
00:19:38,397 --> 00:19:40,398
- And we'd have some fun.
- Cool.
488
00:19:43,936 --> 00:19:47,138
Actually, you know what
would be even more fun?
489
00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:48,974
If just you and me broke it together.
490
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,875
Just us? Are you serious?
491
00:19:51,877 --> 00:19:54,445
As serious as Truman was
about the Taft-Hartley act.
492
00:19:54,513 --> 00:19:57,682
Feel the beat of the
rhythm of the night
493
00:19:57,749 --> 00:19:59,417
-
dance until the morning light
- Okay, here.
494
00:19:59,484 --> 00:20:00,952
Forget about the
worries on your mind
495
00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:03,554
Friends may come and go,
but when it comes to family,
496
00:20:03,622 --> 00:20:06,691
they'll always be there, watching over you.
497
00:20:06,758 --> 00:20:08,025
Dance until the morning light
498
00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:10,528
forget about the
worries on your mind
499
00:20:13,165 --> 00:20:14,699
Number one, dad. He's number one.
500
00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:16,400
(Ding!)
501
00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,070
You're stewed, buttwad.
That's from "weird science."
502
00:20:19,137 --> 00:20:20,771
(Ding!)
503
00:20:20,839 --> 00:20:22,940
Ahh! (Laughs)
504
00:20:23,008 --> 00:20:24,642
(Ding!)
505
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,245
So we can look back in
a hundred years from now
506
00:20:27,312 --> 00:20:28,913
and say, "hey, we had a great life."
507
00:20:28,981 --> 00:20:32,082
Boys: JTP, JTP!
508
00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:35,052
You know, I like little
houses and big trees. That's...
509
00:20:35,558 --> 00:20:39,091
Guess what. I went back to
the photo kiosk at the mall.
510
00:20:39,093 --> 00:20:41,862
And I scored you all
some pretty sweet stuff.
511
00:20:41,929 --> 00:20:44,231
For Murray,
512
00:20:44,298 --> 00:20:48,735
a tie so we can be with
you all day long at work.
513
00:20:48,803 --> 00:20:50,871
I think you're missing the point of work.
514
00:20:50,938 --> 00:20:54,207
For Adam, a pillow with my face
515
00:20:54,275 --> 00:20:57,644
so I can give you snuggies all night long.
516
00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,036
Yes. I'll sleep easy now.
517
00:20:59,038 --> 00:21:03,901
For Barry, a big, tasty hat
for your big, tasty head.
518
00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,938
- Nice!
- And finally, Erica.
519
00:21:07,139 --> 00:21:10,073
I know you're all cool and would never wear
520
00:21:10,075 --> 00:21:13,481
any of these stuffs.
So I just got you cash.
521
00:21:14,317 --> 00:21:16,317
Oh my God! I love you!
522
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,159
What the hell is this?
523
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,471
Bevbucks.
524
00:21:21,473 --> 00:21:23,473
- You trade them for kisses.
- No.
525
00:21:23,473 --> 00:21:24,737
- First one's free.
- Take it back.
526
00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:26,738
- First one's free. Gizzy, gizzy, gizzy.
- I don't want it.
527
00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,740
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
528
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:33,340
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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