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- I'm home!
- Adult Adam: My dad was
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00:00:02,629 --> 00:00:04,866
the least complicated guy on the planet.
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00:00:04,866 --> 00:00:08,635
His first order of business
was to always be comfortable.
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00:00:08,702 --> 00:00:10,904
That meant parking his pants at the door.
5
00:00:11,572 --> 00:00:13,773
His hobbies included
sleeping in his chair...
6
00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,875
[Snoring]
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00:00:15,943 --> 00:00:18,378
- Watching "Fantasy Island"...
- Oh, don't worry, boss.
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Sleeping in his chair...
9
00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:20,813
- Ohh!
- Yelling at the Phillies...
10
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What is that pitch?!
11
00:00:22,149 --> 00:00:23,950
- And sleeping in his chair.
- [Snorts]
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00:00:24,018 --> 00:00:26,519
Even his parenting style was simple
13
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:29,022
and always involved choice vocab words.
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00:00:29,089 --> 00:00:31,224
Hey, you morons. Stop being morons.
15
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Unreal. I raised a moron.
16
00:00:33,184 --> 00:00:34,951
Why you got to be a moron all the time?
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00:00:34,976 --> 00:00:37,349
He wasn't a complicated guy or,
frankly, even that interesting.
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00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:38,741
But every once in a while he would
19
00:00:38,766 --> 00:00:40,921
accidentally reveal something about himself
20
00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:43,347
that would make you feel like
you didn't know him at all.
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00:00:43,372 --> 00:00:45,195
All right, all fixed.
22
00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:46,882
Wow! Where did you learn how to do that?
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Army.
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00:00:48,912 --> 00:00:51,387
What? Did you say "army"?
25
00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:54,420
Dad, is this you and Lou Reed?
26
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,380
Yeah, we, uh, waited tables together.
27
00:00:56,522 --> 00:00:58,023
What? Tell me more.
28
00:00:58,048 --> 00:01:00,449
Eh, it was a whole thing.
29
00:01:00,537 --> 00:01:03,973
Wait! Come back! I want to know you!
30
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:07,169
[Video game beeping]
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Pull up! Pull up! You're
gonna crash the plane.
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I was in a plane crash once.
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Nap time.
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00:01:15,082 --> 00:01:18,470
Yep, some people glorify
the past, but not my dad.
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To him, it's like it never even happened.
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00:01:20,787 --> 00:01:22,688
Oh, my God, Murray, you're
not gonna believe it.
37
00:01:22,713 --> 00:01:24,814
I just got off the phone
with your old high school.
38
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Your record has been broken.
39
00:01:26,906 --> 00:01:29,402
Whoa, wait. Dad had a
record in high school?
40
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What kind of record?
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Chili! He loves chili.
42
00:01:31,837 --> 00:01:33,437
It's something to do with chili.
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True, but that's not it.
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Your dad set the record for
most free throws in a row
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at Central High.
46
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Like, in basketball? W-what
are you talking about?
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What can I say? We won state.
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Uh, I hit 79 free throws in a row.
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Uh, what do you want from me?
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00:01:48,754 --> 00:01:50,621
Murray, the high school
wants you to go back
51
00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:53,224
so they can honor you at
the game Saturday night.
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We get to stay downtown,
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and there's gonna be a banquet.
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A banquet?!
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That's the fanciest of all food parties!
56
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:03,701
I know! It's a very big deal.
57
00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:06,037
Here's the thing about that. Pass.
58
00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:07,312
- No pass.
- Pass!
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00:02:07,337 --> 00:02:08,639
I already told them you'd be there.
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00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,010
Why would you do that?
You know I don't have
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00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:12,110
- an interest in things.
- Is this for real?
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00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:14,378
I mean, we've never even
seen you touch a basketball.
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00:02:14,446 --> 00:02:16,514
Yeah, I mean, I can't believe this.
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00:02:16,582 --> 00:02:18,583
It's one of my dreams to play in the NBA,
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and you never once mentioned it?
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00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:21,419
Didn't see how it was relevant.
67
00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:23,554
Oh, it's relevant.
68
00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:26,190
What you gonna do? What you gonna do?
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Huh? Huh? What you gonna
do? What you gonna do?
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00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,396
Not much more than what
I'm doing right now.
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00:02:31,463 --> 00:02:33,765
I want you to show me what
you got, free-throw king!
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00:02:33,832 --> 00:02:35,199
Are we, uh, done here yet?
73
00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:38,469
No! You were clearly some type
of popular high school god.
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00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:39,837
Tell me what it was like.
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00:02:39,905 --> 00:02:42,473
I don't know. I, uh, dated a lot of girls.
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00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:43,641
I went to parties.
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00:02:43,709 --> 00:02:45,977
I got elected class president a few times.
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00:02:46,044 --> 00:02:47,712
Lunch lady gave me free jell-o.
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00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:48,880
Eh, the usual.
80
00:02:48,947 --> 00:02:51,582
Not usual. That's the opposite of my life.
81
00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:52,850
The lunch lady said
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I look like the warlord
who burnt down her village.
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- I'm going in.
- No, wait, wait! Come on!
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I thought you were gonna
give me some pointers.
85
00:02:58,424 --> 00:03:00,391
Unless you want me to give you some.
86
00:03:00,459 --> 00:03:03,261
How about from way downtown?
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00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:05,363
Hope you brought an umbrella,
88
00:03:05,431 --> 00:03:07,832
'cause it's about to rain some 3s!
89
00:03:08,598 --> 00:03:09,865
Swish, baby!
90
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,157
Fundamentals!
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00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:13,049
Intangibles!
92
00:03:13,217 --> 00:03:14,684
Unselfish!
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00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,419
Basketball!
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00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,243
And that's how you do it.
95
00:03:19,311 --> 00:03:21,245
I'm twisted up inside
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00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:24,134
But nonetheless I
feel the need to say
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- sync and corrections by Albanda -
- www.Addic7ed.com -
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00:03:27,252 --> 00:03:28,853
I don't know the future
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00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:32,212
But the past keeps
getting clearer every day
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00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,358
'Sup, Lexy Bloom?
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00:03:34,426 --> 00:03:37,195
Ready to break the seal on
this new yearbook, or what?
102
00:03:37,262 --> 00:03:38,353
Uh, sure.
103
00:03:38,442 --> 00:03:40,810
This year, Barry left an entire page blank
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for the one signature he cared about...
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his dream girl, Lexy Bloom.
106
00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:48,639
"Have a bitchin' summer, Gustav"?
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00:03:48,707 --> 00:03:50,808
I'm not the Swedish exchange student!
108
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,233
I'm speaking English to you!
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Swing and a miss.
110
00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:00,218
Aw, you love her, and she
thinks you're from Sweden.
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00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:02,345
I've spent all year trying
to make a name for myself,
112
00:04:02,454 --> 00:04:04,455
and Lexy Bloom still doesn't know who I am.
113
00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:05,602
She's so lucky.
114
00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:09,414
If only there was a way to,
like, have a casual get-together
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00:04:09,439 --> 00:04:11,863
with the coolest kids from school,
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00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:13,364
like, at our house,
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00:04:13,432 --> 00:04:15,133
but without the formal, sit-down dinner.
118
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I think you're describing a party.
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00:04:16,530 --> 00:04:19,003
Oh, my God. I have the greatest idea.
120
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I'm gonna throw a party.
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Mom and dad are staying
downtown Saturday night.
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00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,842
[Gasps] I'll invite the whole school!
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00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:26,149
Whoa, hold on.
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00:04:26,196 --> 00:04:28,762
- Uh, I want you to think about this...
- High-school friends!
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This Saturday night, I'm
inviting you to the best party
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00:04:32,384 --> 00:04:34,652
in the history of William Penn Academy,
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00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,154
thrown by yours truly!
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00:04:36,221 --> 00:04:37,321
Boy: We love you, Gustav!
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No! I'm Barry Goldberg!
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Doesn't matter! Party at my place!
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For the next few days,
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Barry spread the word all over school.
133
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It was gonna be a wild rager,
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00:04:49,301 --> 00:04:51,569
and nobody was more excited than me.
135
00:04:51,637 --> 00:04:54,405
Oh, man. My first high-school party
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00:04:54,473 --> 00:04:57,742
with R-rated language
and adult situations.
137
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This is my "Risky Business."
138
00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:01,746
Damn right!
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00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:04,306
There's gonna be dancing, fistfights,
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00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:06,054
pizzas on record players,
141
00:05:06,079 --> 00:05:08,853
hot cheerleaders jumping
from the roof into the pool.
142
00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:10,021
We don't have a pool.
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00:05:10,826 --> 00:05:12,490
Don't we?
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Blow this up.
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00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:15,760
[Gasps] Sweet!
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00:05:15,828 --> 00:05:18,096
I'm gonna go grab my
inhaler and get started.
147
00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:20,865
Okay! I got Twister and ashtrays.
148
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,700
What time's this party kicking off?
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00:05:22,768 --> 00:05:24,135
Whoa, wait. You're okay with this?
150
00:05:24,203 --> 00:05:27,071
Uh, look, I-I don't condone
lying to your parents,
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00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:30,041
but I've been tracking your
highs and lows this year.
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00:05:30,109 --> 00:05:31,709
And frankly, you need this.
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00:05:31,777 --> 00:05:33,211
Awesome!
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00:05:33,278 --> 00:05:34,683
Only thing left is to make sure
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00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:37,115
mom and dad leave without
suspecting a thing.
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00:05:37,182 --> 00:05:38,716
Okay, love bugs.
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00:05:38,784 --> 00:05:41,018
Pops is in charge while
we're away for the evening.
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00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:42,062
Have fun.
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00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:44,222
No fun here. We're just
gonna sit here bored to death
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waiting for you to come home.
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00:05:45,581 --> 00:05:47,801
Oh, well, in that case, throw
on some shoes and join us!
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I insist.
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00:05:48,927 --> 00:05:50,395
Then it's settled. We're coming.
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- What are you doing?
- Panicking.
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00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:55,133
Okay, if the kids come
with us, I'm staying home.
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Great! Stay.
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What's wrong with you?!
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The more the merrier.
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You're a stupid, stupid boy.
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Y-you two just go.
I'll hold down the fort.
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00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:05,567
- All right.
- Dinner's in the fridge.
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00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:08,246
[Sighs] That was a close one.
173
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,348
We make a good team, guys.
174
00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:13,560
- Dover: Ladies and gentlemen...
- While Barry couldn't wait to start his
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00:06:13,585 --> 00:06:15,605
- epic night, my dad was still indifferent
- Captain of the 1961 state
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00:06:15,644 --> 00:06:16,737
- about his...
- championship team
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00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:19,891
Murray Goldberg! [Whistle blows]
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00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:22,481
- [Cheers and applause]
- Until this happened.
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00:06:22,506 --> 00:06:24,395
What the hell's going on?
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00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:25,897
What's wrong with these people?
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00:06:25,964 --> 00:06:27,899
Nothing... they love you, Murray.
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00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:29,367
[Chuckles]
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00:06:29,435 --> 00:06:31,035
For my dad, the past was the past.
184
00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:32,301
He never wanted to be
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00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,739
one of those guys always
recounting his glory days.
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00:06:34,807 --> 00:06:38,042
But for one shining moment,
he decided to embrace it.
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00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,511
- All: Chomp, chomp, chomp!
- Let's go, Beavers! Let's go!
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00:06:40,579 --> 00:06:42,180
Chomp, chomp, chomp!
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00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:44,081
My dad hadn't picked up
a basketball in years.
190
00:06:44,106 --> 00:06:45,459
But by the end of the first half,
191
00:06:45,484 --> 00:06:46,918
he was ready to shoot up.
192
00:06:46,985 --> 00:06:49,754
Oh! [Laughs]
193
00:06:49,822 --> 00:06:51,222
That's how we do it, Beavers!
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00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:52,924
- Dover: Okay!
- Yeah!
195
00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:54,258
Just want to take a quick moment
196
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,552
to welcome back Murray Goldberg.
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00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:58,062
In honor of his 25-year-old record,
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00:06:58,130 --> 00:06:59,263
we'd like to present him
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00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,365
with a ball signed by the entire team.
200
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,867
Murray, come on down.
201
00:07:02,935 --> 00:07:04,702
[Cheers and applause]
202
00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:07,972
Whoo! Hey, hot stuff!
203
00:07:11,109 --> 00:07:13,978
Thank you. Thank you very much.
204
00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,781
All: [Chanting] Shoot the ball!
Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
205
00:07:16,849 --> 00:07:19,550
Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
206
00:07:19,618 --> 00:07:22,520
- Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
- Really? What are you doing?
207
00:07:22,588 --> 00:07:24,822
- Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
- [Chuckles]
208
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:27,358
Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
209
00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:30,027
- Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball!
- That's my husband!
210
00:07:30,385 --> 00:07:32,319
The moment my dad stepped to that line,
211
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:35,863
he realized he was still
that kid from high school...
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00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:39,670
an athlete, a legend, a champion.
213
00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:41,555
And then, he did this.
214
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,700
[Camera shutter clicks] Got it!
215
00:07:53,768 --> 00:07:55,302
Boy: You suck, old man!
216
00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:56,603
[Laughter]
217
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,872
[Crowd chanting "air ball!"]
218
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,175
In his defense, that was a
very common shooting style
219
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:04,811
back in the day. But as the chant
of "air ball" rang through the gym,
220
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,079
it only confirmed to my dad
221
00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:07,814
that he didn't belong on that court.
222
00:08:07,882 --> 00:08:11,036
He belonged in front of
the TV in his underpants.
223
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:13,906
But this wasn't the most
embarrassing display of the evening.
224
00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:16,456
That belonged to my brother's epic party.
225
00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:17,858
It was 9:00,
226
00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,758
and the only people that showed up were me,
227
00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:23,055
Roger McFadden, who brought bugles,
228
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,200
and Gustav, the foreign-exchange student.
229
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,969
- Later. I'm going out.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
230
00:08:29,037 --> 00:08:31,271
Look... look what's happening in there.
231
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:33,740
It's a pure sausage fest.
232
00:08:33,808 --> 00:08:35,422
The bugles are for hot chicks only!
233
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:38,435
You're a popular girl. Invite
some of your friends over.
234
00:08:38,913 --> 00:08:40,814
The poor guy needs this.
235
00:08:40,882 --> 00:08:42,182
Barry: Shut up, Gustav!
236
00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:44,618
It's called being fashionably late.
237
00:08:44,686 --> 00:08:47,221
Fine. I'll call a couple of my friends.
238
00:08:47,288 --> 00:08:49,156
Thank you.
239
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,158
[Indistinct conversations] Nowadays,
all it would take is a tweet.
240
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,993
But back then, one phone
call worked just as well.
241
00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:55,128
I thought you said "a couple of friends."
242
00:08:55,196 --> 00:08:56,864
All I did was call Lainey.
243
00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:58,932
You wanted Barry to have fun, right?
244
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,558
Look at the guy. He is the man.
245
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,238
Welcome to casa de Barry, ladies!
246
00:09:04,305 --> 00:09:07,975
Looking good. Nice pants, random dude.
247
00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:09,343
Told you I'd rock.
248
00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:11,424
Is the party like a rap video, or what?
249
00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:13,413
Move over, Aunt Rose's 50th.
250
00:09:13,481 --> 00:09:16,216
This is the hottest party
this dining room's ever seen.
251
00:09:16,284 --> 00:09:21,255
252
00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:23,023
Holy crap. It's Lexy Bloom.
253
00:09:23,091 --> 00:09:24,458
She came!
254
00:09:24,526 --> 00:09:25,526
She's here!
255
00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:27,819
- What are you waiting for, man?
- Chiclet me.
256
00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,465
Whoa, girl.
257
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,841
I see you found the V.I.P. section.
258
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,266
What makes this the V.I.P. section?
259
00:09:35,297 --> 00:09:38,872
'Cause I'm here. Anything
you want, I'll make it happen.
260
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,375
Fruit roll-ups? Bagel bites?
261
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,377
Flintstone vitamins?
262
00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:44,912
The world's your oyster, baby.
263
00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:46,079
See?
264
00:09:46,147 --> 00:09:49,116
We just gave your weird little
brother the best night of his life.
265
00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:53,120
Whoo! The party has arrived!
266
00:09:53,188 --> 00:09:55,622
You go to school with him?
267
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:58,740
- I do not.
- And we're out of hand.
268
00:09:58,919 --> 00:10:01,395
Who wants to take a shower?
269
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,677
By 10:00, Barry's party was blowing up...
270
00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:05,944
But not as much as my sister.
271
00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:09,781
Hey! Stop! You're spilling everywhere!
272
00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:10,915
You!
273
00:10:10,983 --> 00:10:12,717
Stop making out in my dad's chair!
274
00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:15,020
He lives there!
275
00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:16,574
[Sighs]
276
00:10:16,801 --> 00:10:19,069
What the hell?! That's my mom's!
277
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:20,270
Why are you wearing that?
278
00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:21,571
Oh, it's a sweater party.
279
00:10:21,639 --> 00:10:22,873
That's not a thing.
280
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:25,142
And I put a sign on the
stairs that said "off limits."
281
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,677
Ah, yeah, that piece of yarn broke,
282
00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:29,746
so we all just kind of... Helped ourselves.
283
00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:31,381
"We"?
284
00:10:31,449 --> 00:10:34,618
[Indistinct conversations]
285
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:41,291
Off! Everyone take it off!
286
00:10:41,359 --> 00:10:42,959
Yes! It's happening! Take it off!
287
00:10:43,027 --> 00:10:44,795
Adam, go upstairs!
288
00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:46,763
Well, the sign says it's off limits.
289
00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:49,018
The yarn is broken. Upstairs.
290
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:53,370
I said "upstairs"!
291
00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:56,006
Okay. This is officially nuts.
292
00:10:56,074 --> 00:10:57,541
You need to put an end to this.
293
00:10:57,608 --> 00:10:59,042
Me?! You're the adult!
294
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:02,145
I'm the cool grandpa.
I can't be the bummer.
295
00:11:02,213 --> 00:11:03,647
You be the bummer.
296
00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:06,583
Oh! Uh, there's a pizza
on the record player.
297
00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:09,286
- [Needle scratching]
- It's bad for the needle.
298
00:11:10,854 --> 00:11:13,343
You people are disgusting!
299
00:11:14,356 --> 00:11:15,692
What the hell are you doing?!
300
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,960
It's a sweater party.
301
00:11:17,028 --> 00:11:18,595
That's not a thing!
302
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:20,931
Stop encouraging this.
You need to shut it down.
303
00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,399
Shut it down?
304
00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:24,835
No way! This is my party.
305
00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:28,805
And I say we rage on
until the crack of dawn!!
306
00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:30,774
All: Yeah!
307
00:11:30,842 --> 00:11:34,745
Well, I say we each pick up
one piece of trash and leave!
308
00:11:34,812 --> 00:11:35,879
All: Boo!
309
00:11:35,947 --> 00:11:39,149
[Cups clatter]
310
00:11:39,217 --> 00:11:40,617
Smile all you want. That's it.
311
00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:43,387
I'm calling the hotel where
mom and dad are staying.
312
00:11:43,454 --> 00:11:44,688
I see what this is.
313
00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:45,989
You're jealous
314
00:11:46,057 --> 00:11:48,692
'cause I've thrown the
greatest party of all time.
315
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,826
Look around. It's not your party.
316
00:11:50,851 --> 00:11:52,696
These are all my friends.
317
00:11:53,139 --> 00:11:54,318
Yo, Ari.
318
00:11:54,999 --> 00:11:56,433
Whose party is this?
319
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:58,953
Erica's throwing a going-away
party for the Swedish dude.
320
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,872
It doesn't matter. Lexy Bloom's here.
321
00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:03,340
She came to see me.
322
00:12:03,408 --> 00:12:04,875
Oh, did she?
323
00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,949
Barry, wait.
324
00:12:13,017 --> 00:12:15,129
I didn't mean to... [Sighs]
325
00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:21,124
- That did not go well.
- No, it did not.
326
00:12:21,192 --> 00:12:23,593
Why are you so mad at me?
327
00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:24,895
I saw the look on your face.
328
00:12:24,962 --> 00:12:27,164
You were thrilled to be
back out there on that court.
329
00:12:27,231 --> 00:12:29,766
You know why I don't talk
about the past? I'mma tell you.
330
00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:31,735
Because it was great.
331
00:12:31,803 --> 00:12:34,004
I was class president.
I was a basketball star.
332
00:12:34,072 --> 00:12:35,472
I was a hero.
333
00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:38,408
And now I'm just none of those things.
334
00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:41,878
Have you ever tried
shooting the ball this way?
335
00:12:41,946 --> 00:12:44,441
It was a very common shooting style!
336
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:48,285
Turns out, my dad wasn't
the only one kicking himself.
337
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,586
Barry's big chance
338
00:12:49,654 --> 00:12:51,388
to become a legend and win over Lexy Bloom
339
00:12:51,456 --> 00:12:53,824
had literally been kissed goodbye.
340
00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:55,826
- What's shaking, Gustav?
- [Scoffs]
341
00:12:56,479 --> 00:12:58,462
I wish I was Gustav.
342
00:12:58,529 --> 00:13:01,131
Except for that weird fish
lunch he always brings.
343
00:13:01,373 --> 00:13:04,229
So, why you out here,
missing your own party?
344
00:13:04,969 --> 00:13:06,870
Well, it has come to my attention
345
00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:08,205
that this is Erica's party,
346
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:10,640
and I'm just a big, giant,
invisible bag of suck.
347
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,909
Oh, come on. You're not invisible.
348
00:13:12,977 --> 00:13:15,274
You're Barry Goldberg,
the guy who freaked out
349
00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:17,284
on the lunch lady because
they ran out of pudding.
350
00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:19,924
Why is that the only thing
anyone ever remembers about me?
351
00:13:19,971 --> 00:13:22,285
Hey, they promised pudding.
They had no pudding.
352
00:13:23,449 --> 00:13:25,622
- It was a dark day.
- Mm.
353
00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,924
Look, I know you feel
like this year was a bust,
354
00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:30,249
but you did a ton of cool stuff...
355
00:13:30,595 --> 00:13:32,662
Karate in the talent show.
356
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:34,164
You're on the wrestling team.
357
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,389
You did that rap video
358
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:37,146
about stone cold groovin'
on a Ferris wheel.
359
00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:39,870
- You like my rap?
- It's hilarious.
360
00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,005
Wait, that's what you
were going for, right?
361
00:13:43,368 --> 00:13:44,474
Yeah!
362
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,576
How do you know so much stuff about me?
363
00:13:46,644 --> 00:13:48,044
Your sister's my best friend.
364
00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:49,379
I've known you my whole life,
365
00:13:49,447 --> 00:13:51,348
and I can honestly say there's...
366
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,682
No one like you.
367
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,518
Thanks.
368
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,987
Who knew my sister's wild,
bad-influence best friend
369
00:13:57,054 --> 00:13:59,322
would be the one to remind
my brother that he was special
370
00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:02,659
in his own bizarre, Barry kind of way?
371
00:14:02,727 --> 00:14:04,127
[Chuckles] Now stop pouting
372
00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:06,708
and come show Erica's friends
whose party it really is.
373
00:14:07,932 --> 00:14:09,990
For the first time in ages,
374
00:14:10,045 --> 00:14:12,302
things were looking up for my big bro.
375
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,337
It didn't last long.
376
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:17,607
Oh, God!
377
00:14:17,675 --> 00:14:18,909
Oh, balls!
378
00:14:21,145 --> 00:14:23,747
Uh. Everybody try and
clean up a little bit!
379
00:14:23,814 --> 00:14:26,249
I-I'm going to bed! Everyone, run!
380
00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:28,084
Run!
381
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,950
As Barry watched my
parents get out of that car,
382
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,745
he knew there was only one thing to do...
383
00:14:32,745 --> 00:14:34,107
freak out.
384
00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,261
Mom! Dad!
385
00:14:36,261 --> 00:14:38,607
Why are you home? You're
supposed to be at the hotel!
386
00:14:38,607 --> 00:14:40,441
There was a banquet! Who skips a banquet?!
387
00:14:40,509 --> 00:14:41,575
A party?!
388
00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:43,043
I don't even like my own kids,
389
00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:45,315
let alone a house full of other people's!
390
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,483
Murray! Oh, my God.
They're wearing my sweaters!
391
00:14:48,551 --> 00:14:50,786
No! Those aren't yours!
392
00:14:50,854 --> 00:14:53,355
It's a look that's happening! Watch MTV!
393
00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:54,790
Yeah, I'm sure all the young boys
394
00:14:54,858 --> 00:14:56,291
are wearing leopard sweaters.
395
00:14:56,359 --> 00:14:59,094
Hey! That's my leopard!
396
00:14:59,162 --> 00:15:01,630
Okay, fine. Clearly,
you're gonna kill me, and...
397
00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:03,165
Yes! Yes, I am!
398
00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:06,134
- Do it, Murray. Do it with your hands.
- Just hear me out, please.
399
00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:09,171
I'm nothing like you, dad.
400
00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:11,406
I don't dominate in high school.
401
00:15:11,474 --> 00:15:13,442
I don't hold sports records.
402
00:15:13,509 --> 00:15:16,211
People only know me 'cause
I get angry at pudding.
403
00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:18,647
Listen, you've had your glory days,
404
00:15:18,715 --> 00:15:20,449
and they sounded awesome.
405
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,051
But this, in there,
406
00:15:23,119 --> 00:15:24,686
this is the best I'm ever gonna do.
407
00:15:25,889 --> 00:15:29,391
Oh, Boopie. That's so sad.
408
00:15:29,459 --> 00:15:30,859
But you are in so much trouble.
409
00:15:30,927 --> 00:15:32,027
But... Aww.
410
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,496
I'm begging you. This is my moment.
411
00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:35,631
All I'm asking for
412
00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:37,799
is seven more hours of nonstop partying.
413
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,735
Absolutely not.
414
00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:41,236
You got 10 minutes.
415
00:15:41,304 --> 00:15:43,839
- Seriously?
- Yeah, but do me a favor.
416
00:15:43,907 --> 00:15:46,709
Make this a night you'll always remember.
417
00:15:46,776 --> 00:15:48,710
You are the greatest father on this planet.
418
00:15:49,136 --> 00:15:51,590
As my brother desperately sprinted off
419
00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:53,215
for his 10 minutes of glory,
420
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,350
my dad realized he could still be a hero
421
00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:57,186
to someone who actually mattered.
422
00:15:57,253 --> 00:15:59,621
Awful parenting choice.
423
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,089
Just awful.
424
00:16:01,157 --> 00:16:04,324
You've seen him run. He needs this.
425
00:16:04,349 --> 00:16:06,028
[Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" plays]
426
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:09,932
Tommy used to work on the docks
427
00:16:09,999 --> 00:16:11,300
Union's been on strike,
428
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:13,569
he's down on his luck.
429
00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:15,771
It's tough.
430
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,396
So tough.
431
00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:24,213
Gina works the diner all day
432
00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:26,298
This was it... Barry's
year was coming to a close,
433
00:16:26,323 --> 00:16:29,118
and it all came down to 10 magical minutes.
434
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:31,086
She brings home her pay for love
435
00:16:31,154 --> 00:16:33,777
He knew there was only
one way to leave his mark.
436
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:36,492
That was on the dance floor.
437
00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:39,247
He may have been a far
cry from Michael Jackson,
438
00:16:39,272 --> 00:16:41,730
but in that moment, he sure felt like him.
439
00:16:42,064 --> 00:16:45,034
It wasn't just Barry's enthusiasm
that brought the crowd together.
440
00:16:45,385 --> 00:16:47,970
It was his giant '80s boom box
441
00:16:48,038 --> 00:16:50,639
blasting out the anthem of our youth.
442
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,941
- And it sounded like this.
-
We'll give it a shot
443
00:16:53,009 --> 00:16:56,645
All:
Oh, we're halfway there
444
00:16:56,713 --> 00:17:00,749
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
445
00:17:00,774 --> 00:17:02,543
Take my hand
446
00:17:02,568 --> 00:17:04,353
We'll make it, I swear
447
00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:07,944
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
448
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,450
Who is that guy?
449
00:17:10,026 --> 00:17:12,461
That's Barry Goldberg. This is his party.
450
00:17:12,529 --> 00:17:15,540
Tommy's got his six-string in hock
451
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:18,133
-
Now he's holding in
- Dude, Lexy Bloom's looking over here.
452
00:17:18,158 --> 00:17:20,493
What do I do?
453
00:17:20,518 --> 00:17:22,547
I'm gonna help you out. You
ready to make her jealous?
454
00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:25,571
- Make her what?
-
It's tough
455
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:30,346
Gina dreams of running away
456
00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:32,250
What are you doing?
457
00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:34,083
Ow! I don't know! What are you doing?
458
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,987
Tommy whispers, "baby, it's okay
459
00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,788
Someday"
460
00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:44,760
We've got to hold
on to what we've got
461
00:17:44,828 --> 00:17:49,732
This is the greatest night of my life!
462
00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:52,201
- Yeah!
-
We've got each other
463
00:17:52,268 --> 00:17:54,536
Time's up! Get the hell out of my house!
464
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:56,839
And leave my [Bleep] sweaters!
465
00:17:56,906 --> 00:17:59,775
Naturally, my brother was
grounded for the entire summer.
466
00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:03,646
And you get to take all my
sweaters to the dry cleaners.
467
00:18:03,713 --> 00:18:06,281
But sometimes, those
magic moments are worth it.
468
00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:08,517
I'm very upset. You have
a lot of nerve, young man.
469
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:11,163
It was a night he'd carry with him forever,
470
00:18:11,188 --> 00:18:13,589
a night no one could take away.
471
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:18,124
For one brief moment,
Barry Goldberg was a legend.
472
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:20,522
[Guitar solo]
473
00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:32,541
Y-you want to hear about,
uh, how I met Lou Reed?
474
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:34,677
-
Ooh, we've got to hold on
- Uh, yeah.
475
00:18:34,744 --> 00:18:36,945
- Okay. It was 1965...
-
ready or not
476
00:18:37,013 --> 00:18:39,389
Sure, my dad would
always be the kind of guy
477
00:18:39,414 --> 00:18:41,745
who loved his TV and his lazy boy.
478
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,714
but after that fateful night,
479
00:18:43,739 --> 00:18:45,754
he found it easier to open up a bit more.
480
00:18:45,822 --> 00:18:47,056
-
Whoa
- Swish, baby!
481
00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:48,891
-
Livin' on a prayer
- Ah.
482
00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:50,859
-
Take my hand
- Okay, by my count,
483
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,562
you've missed the last 22 shots.
484
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:56,165
-
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
- Just do it my way once.
485
00:18:56,232 --> 00:18:57,800
[Sighs] Fine.
486
00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,102
Oh, we're halfway there
487
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,704
Whoa
488
00:19:01,729 --> 00:19:03,224
-
Livin' on a prayer
- Wish, baby!
489
00:19:03,249 --> 00:19:04,416
New shooting style!
490
00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:06,136
-
Take my hand
- And, even crazier,
491
00:19:06,161 --> 00:19:08,310
Barry got my dad, the free-throw king...
492
00:19:08,378 --> 00:19:10,279
back on the court for some actual pointers.
493
00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:11,914
-
Whoa, livin' on a prayer
- Intangibles!
494
00:19:11,982 --> 00:19:13,215
- It didn't help much.
-
Whoa, we're halfway there
495
00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,517
Oh, honey.
496
00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:17,319
You're delicious no matter how bad you are.
497
00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:19,321
- Oh, damn it, Barry!
-
Livin' on a prayer
498
00:19:19,346 --> 00:19:20,990
-
Take my hand
- When it comes to my childhood,
499
00:19:21,057 --> 00:19:24,103
I may not always remember
exactly when something happened,
500
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:26,184
or exactly who was there.
501
00:19:26,209 --> 00:19:29,164
but I do know that it was 1980-something
502
00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:31,300
and it was awesome.
503
00:19:31,368 --> 00:19:32,968
Doo! Doo, Doo, Doo!
504
00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:36,605
Stop videotaping! Get out! Mom!
505
00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:38,607
Stop! I swear...
506
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:41,443
[Breathing rapidly]
507
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:42,945
Death blow. Death blow.
508
00:19:43,013 --> 00:19:44,770
Hyah! Yah! Yah!
509
00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:46,782
You're aggravating me, you little bastard!
510
00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,951
He's aggravating me, the little bastard!
511
00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:50,619
Why are you hitting yourself, huh?
512
00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,121
What did your face ever do to you? Ow.
513
00:19:52,188 --> 00:19:53,288
[Grunts] Ow.
514
00:19:53,356 --> 00:19:54,790
Open up.
515
00:19:54,858 --> 00:19:57,626
No! No! No! No! No!
516
00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:01,130
No. No. No. No.
517
00:20:01,197 --> 00:20:02,464
[Laughs]
518
00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:04,566
My God. This house is going nuts.
519
00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:06,735
This house is going nuts.
520
00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:08,070
I am Optimus Prime,
521
00:20:08,138 --> 00:20:09,571
and I am a good guy, and
I will kick your butt!
522
00:20:09,681 --> 00:20:11,282
[Knock on door] Who's there?
523
00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,574
Murray: Get dressed now!
524
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:14,076
Man: Get dressed now.
525
00:20:14,144 --> 00:20:15,911
And this is it.
526
00:20:15,979 --> 00:20:18,447
Aah! That hurt! Aah!
527
00:20:19,107 --> 00:20:20,829
Whoa! What a night!
528
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,156
So, you got any OJ?
529
00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:24,965
Sorry, what the hell are you doing here?
530
00:20:25,028 --> 00:20:26,956
Passed out in the
basement during the party.
531
00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:29,230
- Take off my sweater and get out.
- What's in it for me?
532
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,972
Nothing. It's my weater.
533
00:20:31,019 --> 00:20:32,019
Fine.
534
00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:34,547
- Show me your boobs.
- No.
535
00:20:34,547 --> 00:20:35,603
Then give me $1 million.
536
00:20:35,659 --> 00:20:38,071
I'd very much like to
revisit the boob conversation.
537
00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:39,728
I feel like we've done this once before.
538
00:20:39,728 --> 00:20:41,376
- Did it end in boobs?
- No.
539
00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:43,985
Tell me something. When
was the last time you had
540
00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:45,825
- a balanced breakfast?
- Every day.
541
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:48,224
Protein from beef jerky,
energy from frosting.
542
00:20:48,357 --> 00:20:50,513
Sweetie, sit down. I'm
gonna make you some food,
543
00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:54,440
you're gonna eat it, then you're gonna
take off my sweater and get the hell out.
544
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,585
Morning, Barry.
545
00:20:57,726 --> 00:21:02,578
- sync and corrections by Albanda -
- www.Addic7ed.com -
546
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:07,178
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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