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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,961 --> 00:00:02,629 - I'm home! - Adult Adam: My dad was 2 00:00:02,629 --> 00:00:04,866 the least complicated guy on the planet. 3 00:00:04,866 --> 00:00:08,635 His first order of business was to always be comfortable. 4 00:00:08,702 --> 00:00:10,904 That meant parking his pants at the door. 5 00:00:11,572 --> 00:00:13,773 His hobbies included sleeping in his chair... 6 00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,875 [Snoring] 7 00:00:15,943 --> 00:00:18,378 - Watching "Fantasy Island"... - Oh, don't worry, boss. 8 00:00:18,445 --> 00:00:19,545 Sleeping in his chair... 9 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:20,813 - Ohh! - Yelling at the Phillies... 10 00:00:20,881 --> 00:00:22,081 What is that pitch?! 11 00:00:22,149 --> 00:00:23,950 - And sleeping in his chair. - [Snorts] 12 00:00:24,018 --> 00:00:26,519 Even his parenting style was simple 13 00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:29,022 and always involved choice vocab words. 14 00:00:29,089 --> 00:00:31,224 Hey, you morons. Stop being morons. 15 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,159 Unreal. I raised a moron. 16 00:00:33,184 --> 00:00:34,951 Why you got to be a moron all the time? 17 00:00:34,976 --> 00:00:37,349 He wasn't a complicated guy or, frankly, even that interesting. 18 00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:38,741 But every once in a while he would 19 00:00:38,766 --> 00:00:40,921 accidentally reveal something about himself 20 00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:43,347 that would make you feel like you didn't know him at all. 21 00:00:43,372 --> 00:00:45,195 All right, all fixed. 22 00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:46,882 Wow! Where did you learn how to do that? 23 00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:48,675 Army. 24 00:00:48,912 --> 00:00:51,387 What? Did you say "army"? 25 00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:54,420 Dad, is this you and Lou Reed? 26 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,380 Yeah, we, uh, waited tables together. 27 00:00:56,522 --> 00:00:58,023 What? Tell me more. 28 00:00:58,048 --> 00:01:00,449 Eh, it was a whole thing. 29 00:01:00,537 --> 00:01:03,973 Wait! Come back! I want to know you! 30 00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:07,169 [Video game beeping] 31 00:01:07,237 --> 00:01:09,391 Pull up! Pull up! You're gonna crash the plane. 32 00:01:09,441 --> 00:01:11,075 I was in a plane crash once. 33 00:01:12,978 --> 00:01:14,378 Nap time. 34 00:01:15,082 --> 00:01:18,470 Yep, some people glorify the past, but not my dad. 35 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,703 To him, it's like it never even happened. 36 00:01:20,787 --> 00:01:22,688 Oh, my God, Murray, you're not gonna believe it. 37 00:01:22,713 --> 00:01:24,814 I just got off the phone with your old high school. 38 00:01:25,222 --> 00:01:26,881 Your record has been broken. 39 00:01:26,906 --> 00:01:29,402 Whoa, wait. Dad had a record in high school? 40 00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:30,549 What kind of record? 41 00:01:30,602 --> 00:01:31,769 Chili! He loves chili. 42 00:01:31,837 --> 00:01:33,437 It's something to do with chili. 43 00:01:33,505 --> 00:01:34,805 True, but that's not it. 44 00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:38,142 Your dad set the record for most free throws in a row 45 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:39,544 at Central High. 46 00:01:39,611 --> 00:01:42,395 Like, in basketball? W-what are you talking about? 47 00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:44,561 What can I say? We won state. 48 00:01:44,827 --> 00:01:47,385 Uh, I hit 79 free throws in a row. 49 00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:48,686 Uh, what do you want from me? 50 00:01:48,754 --> 00:01:50,621 Murray, the high school wants you to go back 51 00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:53,224 so they can honor you at the game Saturday night. 52 00:01:53,292 --> 00:01:55,359 We get to stay downtown, 53 00:01:55,427 --> 00:01:58,029 and there's gonna be a banquet. 54 00:01:58,096 --> 00:01:59,363 A banquet?! 55 00:01:59,431 --> 00:02:01,499 That's the fanciest of all food parties! 56 00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:03,701 I know! It's a very big deal. 57 00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:06,037 Here's the thing about that. Pass. 58 00:02:06,105 --> 00:02:07,312 - No pass. - Pass! 59 00:02:07,337 --> 00:02:08,639 I already told them you'd be there. 60 00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,010 Why would you do that? You know I don't have 61 00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:12,110 - an interest in things. - Is this for real? 62 00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:14,378 I mean, we've never even seen you touch a basketball. 63 00:02:14,446 --> 00:02:16,514 Yeah, I mean, I can't believe this. 64 00:02:16,582 --> 00:02:18,583 It's one of my dreams to play in the NBA, 65 00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,318 and you never once mentioned it? 66 00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:21,419 Didn't see how it was relevant. 67 00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:23,554 Oh, it's relevant. 68 00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:26,190 What you gonna do? What you gonna do? 69 00:02:26,258 --> 00:02:29,460 Huh? Huh? What you gonna do? What you gonna do? 70 00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,396 Not much more than what I'm doing right now. 71 00:02:31,463 --> 00:02:33,765 I want you to show me what you got, free-throw king! 72 00:02:33,832 --> 00:02:35,199 Are we, uh, done here yet? 73 00:02:35,267 --> 00:02:38,469 No! You were clearly some type of popular high school god. 74 00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:39,837 Tell me what it was like. 75 00:02:39,905 --> 00:02:42,473 I don't know. I, uh, dated a lot of girls. 76 00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:43,641 I went to parties. 77 00:02:43,709 --> 00:02:45,977 I got elected class president a few times. 78 00:02:46,044 --> 00:02:47,712 Lunch lady gave me free jell-o. 79 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:48,880 Eh, the usual. 80 00:02:48,947 --> 00:02:51,582 Not usual. That's the opposite of my life. 81 00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:52,850 The lunch lady said 82 00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:55,053 I look like the warlord who burnt down her village. 83 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,954 - I'm going in. - No, wait, wait! Come on! 84 00:02:57,022 --> 00:02:58,356 I thought you were gonna give me some pointers. 85 00:02:58,424 --> 00:03:00,391 Unless you want me to give you some. 86 00:03:00,459 --> 00:03:03,261 How about from way downtown? 87 00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:05,363 Hope you brought an umbrella, 88 00:03:05,431 --> 00:03:07,832 'cause it's about to rain some 3s! 89 00:03:08,598 --> 00:03:09,865 Swish, baby! 90 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,157 Fundamentals! 91 00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:13,049 Intangibles! 92 00:03:13,217 --> 00:03:14,684 Unselfish! 93 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,419 Basketball! 94 00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,243 And that's how you do it. 95 00:03:19,311 --> 00:03:21,245 I'm twisted up inside 96 00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:24,134 But nonetheless I feel the need to say 97 00:03:24,282 --> 00:03:27,118 - sync and corrections by Albanda - - www.Addic7ed.com - 98 00:03:27,252 --> 00:03:28,853 I don't know the future 99 00:03:28,921 --> 00:03:32,212 But the past keeps getting clearer every day 100 00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,358 'Sup, Lexy Bloom? 101 00:03:34,426 --> 00:03:37,195 Ready to break the seal on this new yearbook, or what? 102 00:03:37,262 --> 00:03:38,353 Uh, sure. 103 00:03:38,442 --> 00:03:40,810 This year, Barry left an entire page blank 104 00:03:40,835 --> 00:03:42,903 for the one signature he cared about... 105 00:03:43,202 --> 00:03:45,970 his dream girl, Lexy Bloom. 106 00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:48,639 "Have a bitchin' summer, Gustav"? 107 00:03:48,707 --> 00:03:50,808 I'm not the Swedish exchange student! 108 00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,233 I'm speaking English to you! 109 00:03:56,077 --> 00:03:57,442 Swing and a miss. 110 00:03:57,467 --> 00:04:00,218 Aw, you love her, and she thinks you're from Sweden. 111 00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:02,345 I've spent all year trying to make a name for myself, 112 00:04:02,454 --> 00:04:04,455 and Lexy Bloom still doesn't know who I am. 113 00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:05,602 She's so lucky. 114 00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:09,414 If only there was a way to, like, have a casual get-together 115 00:04:09,439 --> 00:04:11,863 with the coolest kids from school, 116 00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:13,364 like, at our house, 117 00:04:13,432 --> 00:04:15,133 but without the formal, sit-down dinner. 118 00:04:15,158 --> 00:04:16,491 I think you're describing a party. 119 00:04:16,530 --> 00:04:19,003 Oh, my God. I have the greatest idea. 120 00:04:19,071 --> 00:04:20,638 I'm gonna throw a party. 121 00:04:20,706 --> 00:04:22,907 Mom and dad are staying downtown Saturday night. 122 00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,842 [Gasps] I'll invite the whole school! 123 00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:26,149 Whoa, hold on. 124 00:04:26,196 --> 00:04:28,762 - Uh, I want you to think about this... - High-school friends! 125 00:04:28,816 --> 00:04:32,316 This Saturday night, I'm inviting you to the best party 126 00:04:32,384 --> 00:04:34,652 in the history of William Penn Academy, 127 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,154 thrown by yours truly! 128 00:04:36,221 --> 00:04:37,321 Boy: We love you, Gustav! 129 00:04:37,389 --> 00:04:40,078 No! I'm Barry Goldberg! 130 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,055 Doesn't matter! Party at my place! 131 00:04:44,296 --> 00:04:45,530 For the next few days, 132 00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:47,899 Barry spread the word all over school. 133 00:04:47,966 --> 00:04:49,233 It was gonna be a wild rager, 134 00:04:49,301 --> 00:04:51,569 and nobody was more excited than me. 135 00:04:51,637 --> 00:04:54,405 Oh, man. My first high-school party 136 00:04:54,473 --> 00:04:57,742 with R-rated language and adult situations. 137 00:04:57,810 --> 00:05:00,578 This is my "Risky Business." 138 00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:01,746 Damn right! 139 00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:04,306 There's gonna be dancing, fistfights, 140 00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:06,054 pizzas on record players, 141 00:05:06,079 --> 00:05:08,853 hot cheerleaders jumping from the roof into the pool. 142 00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:10,021 We don't have a pool. 143 00:05:10,826 --> 00:05:12,490 Don't we? 144 00:05:12,558 --> 00:05:13,758 Blow this up. 145 00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:15,760 [Gasps] Sweet! 146 00:05:15,828 --> 00:05:18,096 I'm gonna go grab my inhaler and get started. 147 00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:20,865 Okay! I got Twister and ashtrays. 148 00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,700 What time's this party kicking off? 149 00:05:22,768 --> 00:05:24,135 Whoa, wait. You're okay with this? 150 00:05:24,203 --> 00:05:27,071 Uh, look, I-I don't condone lying to your parents, 151 00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:30,041 but I've been tracking your highs and lows this year. 152 00:05:30,109 --> 00:05:31,709 And frankly, you need this. 153 00:05:31,777 --> 00:05:33,211 Awesome! 154 00:05:33,278 --> 00:05:34,683 Only thing left is to make sure 155 00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:37,115 mom and dad leave without suspecting a thing. 156 00:05:37,182 --> 00:05:38,716 Okay, love bugs. 157 00:05:38,784 --> 00:05:41,018 Pops is in charge while we're away for the evening. 158 00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:42,062 Have fun. 159 00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:44,222 No fun here. We're just gonna sit here bored to death 160 00:05:44,289 --> 00:05:45,556 waiting for you to come home. 161 00:05:45,581 --> 00:05:47,801 Oh, well, in that case, throw on some shoes and join us! 162 00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:48,860 I insist. 163 00:05:48,927 --> 00:05:50,395 Then it's settled. We're coming. 164 00:05:50,462 --> 00:05:52,587 - What are you doing? - Panicking. 165 00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:55,133 Okay, if the kids come with us, I'm staying home. 166 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,659 Great! Stay. 167 00:05:56,684 --> 00:05:57,735 What's wrong with you?! 168 00:05:57,803 --> 00:05:58,803 The more the merrier. 169 00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:00,605 You're a stupid, stupid boy. 170 00:06:00,672 --> 00:06:03,441 Y-you two just go. I'll hold down the fort. 171 00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:05,567 - All right. - Dinner's in the fridge. 172 00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:08,246 [Sighs] That was a close one. 173 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,348 We make a good team, guys. 174 00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:13,560 - Dover: Ladies and gentlemen... - While Barry couldn't wait to start his 175 00:06:13,585 --> 00:06:15,605 - epic night, my dad was still indifferent - Captain of the 1961 state 176 00:06:15,644 --> 00:06:16,737 - about his... - championship team 177 00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:19,891 Murray Goldberg! [Whistle blows] 178 00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:22,481 - [Cheers and applause] - Until this happened. 179 00:06:22,506 --> 00:06:24,395 What the hell's going on? 180 00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:25,897 What's wrong with these people? 181 00:06:25,964 --> 00:06:27,899 Nothing... they love you, Murray. 182 00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:29,367 [Chuckles] 183 00:06:29,435 --> 00:06:31,035 For my dad, the past was the past. 184 00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:32,301 He never wanted to be 185 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,739 one of those guys always recounting his glory days. 186 00:06:34,807 --> 00:06:38,042 But for one shining moment, he decided to embrace it. 187 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,511 - All: Chomp, chomp, chomp! - Let's go, Beavers! Let's go! 188 00:06:40,579 --> 00:06:42,180 Chomp, chomp, chomp! 189 00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:44,081 My dad hadn't picked up a basketball in years. 190 00:06:44,106 --> 00:06:45,459 But by the end of the first half, 191 00:06:45,484 --> 00:06:46,918 he was ready to shoot up. 192 00:06:46,985 --> 00:06:49,754 Oh! [Laughs] 193 00:06:49,822 --> 00:06:51,222 That's how we do it, Beavers! 194 00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:52,924 - Dover: Okay! - Yeah! 195 00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:54,258 Just want to take a quick moment 196 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,552 to welcome back Murray Goldberg. 197 00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:58,062 In honor of his 25-year-old record, 198 00:06:58,130 --> 00:06:59,263 we'd like to present him 199 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,365 with a ball signed by the entire team. 200 00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,867 Murray, come on down. 201 00:07:02,935 --> 00:07:04,702 [Cheers and applause] 202 00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:07,972 Whoo! Hey, hot stuff! 203 00:07:11,109 --> 00:07:13,978 Thank you. Thank you very much. 204 00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,781 All: [Chanting] Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 205 00:07:16,849 --> 00:07:19,550 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 206 00:07:19,618 --> 00:07:22,520 - Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! - Really? What are you doing? 207 00:07:22,588 --> 00:07:24,822 - Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! - [Chuckles] 208 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:27,358 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 209 00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:30,027 - Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! - That's my husband! 210 00:07:30,385 --> 00:07:32,319 The moment my dad stepped to that line, 211 00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:35,863 he realized he was still that kid from high school... 212 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:39,670 an athlete, a legend, a champion. 213 00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:41,555 And then, he did this. 214 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,700 [Camera shutter clicks] Got it! 215 00:07:53,768 --> 00:07:55,302 Boy: You suck, old man! 216 00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:56,603 [Laughter] 217 00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:58,872 [Crowd chanting "air ball!"] 218 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,175 In his defense, that was a very common shooting style 219 00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:04,811 back in the day. But as the chant of "air ball" rang through the gym, 220 00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,079 it only confirmed to my dad 221 00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:07,814 that he didn't belong on that court. 222 00:08:07,882 --> 00:08:11,036 He belonged in front of the TV in his underpants. 223 00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:13,906 But this wasn't the most embarrassing display of the evening. 224 00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:16,456 That belonged to my brother's epic party. 225 00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:17,858 It was 9:00, 226 00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,758 and the only people that showed up were me, 227 00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:23,055 Roger McFadden, who brought bugles, 228 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,200 and Gustav, the foreign-exchange student. 229 00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,969 - Later. I'm going out. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 230 00:08:29,037 --> 00:08:31,271 Look... look what's happening in there. 231 00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:33,740 It's a pure sausage fest. 232 00:08:33,808 --> 00:08:35,422 The bugles are for hot chicks only! 233 00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:38,435 You're a popular girl. Invite some of your friends over. 234 00:08:38,913 --> 00:08:40,814 The poor guy needs this. 235 00:08:40,882 --> 00:08:42,182 Barry: Shut up, Gustav! 236 00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:44,618 It's called being fashionably late. 237 00:08:44,686 --> 00:08:47,221 Fine. I'll call a couple of my friends. 238 00:08:47,288 --> 00:08:49,156 Thank you. 239 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,158 [Indistinct conversations] Nowadays, all it would take is a tweet. 240 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,993 But back then, one phone call worked just as well. 241 00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:55,128 I thought you said "a couple of friends." 242 00:08:55,196 --> 00:08:56,864 All I did was call Lainey. 243 00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:58,932 You wanted Barry to have fun, right? 244 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,558 Look at the guy. He is the man. 245 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,238 Welcome to casa de Barry, ladies! 246 00:09:04,305 --> 00:09:07,975 Looking good. Nice pants, random dude. 247 00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:09,343 Told you I'd rock. 248 00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:11,424 Is the party like a rap video, or what? 249 00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:13,413 Move over, Aunt Rose's 50th. 250 00:09:13,481 --> 00:09:16,216 This is the hottest party this dining room's ever seen. 251 00:09:16,284 --> 00:09:21,255 252 00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:23,023 Holy crap. It's Lexy Bloom. 253 00:09:23,091 --> 00:09:24,458 She came! 254 00:09:24,526 --> 00:09:25,526 She's here! 255 00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:27,819 - What are you waiting for, man? - Chiclet me. 256 00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,465 Whoa, girl. 257 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,841 I see you found the V.I.P. section. 258 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,266 What makes this the V.I.P. section? 259 00:09:35,297 --> 00:09:38,872 'Cause I'm here. Anything you want, I'll make it happen. 260 00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,375 Fruit roll-ups? Bagel bites? 261 00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,377 Flintstone vitamins? 262 00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:44,912 The world's your oyster, baby. 263 00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:46,079 See? 264 00:09:46,147 --> 00:09:49,116 We just gave your weird little brother the best night of his life. 265 00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:53,120 Whoo! The party has arrived! 266 00:09:53,188 --> 00:09:55,622 You go to school with him? 267 00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:58,740 - I do not. - And we're out of hand. 268 00:09:58,919 --> 00:10:01,395 Who wants to take a shower? 269 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,677 By 10:00, Barry's party was blowing up... 270 00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:05,944 But not as much as my sister. 271 00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:09,781 Hey! Stop! You're spilling everywhere! 272 00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:10,915 You! 273 00:10:10,983 --> 00:10:12,717 Stop making out in my dad's chair! 274 00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:15,020 He lives there! 275 00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:16,574 [Sighs] 276 00:10:16,801 --> 00:10:19,069 What the hell?! That's my mom's! 277 00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:20,270 Why are you wearing that? 278 00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:21,571 Oh, it's a sweater party. 279 00:10:21,639 --> 00:10:22,873 That's not a thing. 280 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:25,142 And I put a sign on the stairs that said "off limits." 281 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,677 Ah, yeah, that piece of yarn broke, 282 00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:29,746 so we all just kind of... Helped ourselves. 283 00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:31,381 "We"? 284 00:10:31,449 --> 00:10:34,618 [Indistinct conversations] 285 00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:41,291 Off! Everyone take it off! 286 00:10:41,359 --> 00:10:42,959 Yes! It's happening! Take it off! 287 00:10:43,027 --> 00:10:44,795 Adam, go upstairs! 288 00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:46,763 Well, the sign says it's off limits. 289 00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:49,018 The yarn is broken. Upstairs. 290 00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:53,370 I said "upstairs"! 291 00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:56,006 Okay. This is officially nuts. 292 00:10:56,074 --> 00:10:57,541 You need to put an end to this. 293 00:10:57,608 --> 00:10:59,042 Me?! You're the adult! 294 00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:02,145 I'm the cool grandpa. I can't be the bummer. 295 00:11:02,213 --> 00:11:03,647 You be the bummer. 296 00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:06,583 Oh! Uh, there's a pizza on the record player. 297 00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:09,286 - [Needle scratching] - It's bad for the needle. 298 00:11:10,854 --> 00:11:13,343 You people are disgusting! 299 00:11:14,356 --> 00:11:15,692 What the hell are you doing?! 300 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,960 It's a sweater party. 301 00:11:17,028 --> 00:11:18,595 That's not a thing! 302 00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:20,931 Stop encouraging this. You need to shut it down. 303 00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,399 Shut it down? 304 00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:24,835 No way! This is my party. 305 00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:28,805 And I say we rage on until the crack of dawn!! 306 00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:30,774 All: Yeah! 307 00:11:30,842 --> 00:11:34,745 Well, I say we each pick up one piece of trash and leave! 308 00:11:34,812 --> 00:11:35,879 All: Boo! 309 00:11:35,947 --> 00:11:39,149 [Cups clatter] 310 00:11:39,217 --> 00:11:40,617 Smile all you want. That's it. 311 00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:43,387 I'm calling the hotel where mom and dad are staying. 312 00:11:43,454 --> 00:11:44,688 I see what this is. 313 00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:45,989 You're jealous 314 00:11:46,057 --> 00:11:48,692 'cause I've thrown the greatest party of all time. 315 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,826 Look around. It's not your party. 316 00:11:50,851 --> 00:11:52,696 These are all my friends. 317 00:11:53,139 --> 00:11:54,318 Yo, Ari. 318 00:11:54,999 --> 00:11:56,433 Whose party is this? 319 00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:58,953 Erica's throwing a going-away party for the Swedish dude. 320 00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,872 It doesn't matter. Lexy Bloom's here. 321 00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:03,340 She came to see me. 322 00:12:03,408 --> 00:12:04,875 Oh, did she? 323 00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,949 Barry, wait. 324 00:12:13,017 --> 00:12:15,129 I didn't mean to... [Sighs] 325 00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:21,124 - That did not go well. - No, it did not. 326 00:12:21,192 --> 00:12:23,593 Why are you so mad at me? 327 00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:24,895 I saw the look on your face. 328 00:12:24,962 --> 00:12:27,164 You were thrilled to be back out there on that court. 329 00:12:27,231 --> 00:12:29,766 You know why I don't talk about the past? I'mma tell you. 330 00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:31,735 Because it was great. 331 00:12:31,803 --> 00:12:34,004 I was class president. I was a basketball star. 332 00:12:34,072 --> 00:12:35,472 I was a hero. 333 00:12:35,540 --> 00:12:38,408 And now I'm just none of those things. 334 00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:41,878 Have you ever tried shooting the ball this way? 335 00:12:41,946 --> 00:12:44,441 It was a very common shooting style! 336 00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:48,285 Turns out, my dad wasn't the only one kicking himself. 337 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,586 Barry's big chance 338 00:12:49,654 --> 00:12:51,388 to become a legend and win over Lexy Bloom 339 00:12:51,456 --> 00:12:53,824 had literally been kissed goodbye. 340 00:12:53,891 --> 00:12:55,826 - What's shaking, Gustav? - [Scoffs] 341 00:12:56,479 --> 00:12:58,462 I wish I was Gustav. 342 00:12:58,529 --> 00:13:01,131 Except for that weird fish lunch he always brings. 343 00:13:01,373 --> 00:13:04,229 So, why you out here, missing your own party? 344 00:13:04,969 --> 00:13:06,870 Well, it has come to my attention 345 00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:08,205 that this is Erica's party, 346 00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:10,640 and I'm just a big, giant, invisible bag of suck. 347 00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,909 Oh, come on. You're not invisible. 348 00:13:12,977 --> 00:13:15,274 You're Barry Goldberg, the guy who freaked out 349 00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:17,284 on the lunch lady because they ran out of pudding. 350 00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:19,924 Why is that the only thing anyone ever remembers about me? 351 00:13:19,971 --> 00:13:22,285 Hey, they promised pudding. They had no pudding. 352 00:13:23,449 --> 00:13:25,622 - It was a dark day. - Mm. 353 00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,924 Look, I know you feel like this year was a bust, 354 00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:30,249 but you did a ton of cool stuff... 355 00:13:30,595 --> 00:13:32,662 Karate in the talent show. 356 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:34,164 You're on the wrestling team. 357 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,389 You did that rap video 358 00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:37,146 about stone cold groovin' on a Ferris wheel. 359 00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:39,870 - You like my rap? - It's hilarious. 360 00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,005 Wait, that's what you were going for, right? 361 00:13:43,368 --> 00:13:44,474 Yeah! 362 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,576 How do you know so much stuff about me? 363 00:13:46,644 --> 00:13:48,044 Your sister's my best friend. 364 00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:49,379 I've known you my whole life, 365 00:13:49,447 --> 00:13:51,348 and I can honestly say there's... 366 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,682 No one like you. 367 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,518 Thanks. 368 00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,987 Who knew my sister's wild, bad-influence best friend 369 00:13:57,054 --> 00:13:59,322 would be the one to remind my brother that he was special 370 00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:02,659 in his own bizarre, Barry kind of way? 371 00:14:02,727 --> 00:14:04,127 [Chuckles] Now stop pouting 372 00:14:04,195 --> 00:14:06,708 and come show Erica's friends whose party it really is. 373 00:14:07,932 --> 00:14:09,990 For the first time in ages, 374 00:14:10,045 --> 00:14:12,302 things were looking up for my big bro. 375 00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,337 It didn't last long. 376 00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:17,607 Oh, God! 377 00:14:17,675 --> 00:14:18,909 Oh, balls! 378 00:14:21,145 --> 00:14:23,747 Uh. Everybody try and clean up a little bit! 379 00:14:23,814 --> 00:14:26,249 I-I'm going to bed! Everyone, run! 380 00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:28,084 Run! 381 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,950 As Barry watched my parents get out of that car, 382 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,745 he knew there was only one thing to do... 383 00:14:32,745 --> 00:14:34,107 freak out. 384 00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,261 Mom! Dad! 385 00:14:36,261 --> 00:14:38,607 Why are you home? You're supposed to be at the hotel! 386 00:14:38,607 --> 00:14:40,441 There was a banquet! Who skips a banquet?! 387 00:14:40,509 --> 00:14:41,575 A party?! 388 00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:43,043 I don't even like my own kids, 389 00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:45,315 let alone a house full of other people's! 390 00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,483 Murray! Oh, my God. They're wearing my sweaters! 391 00:14:48,551 --> 00:14:50,786 No! Those aren't yours! 392 00:14:50,854 --> 00:14:53,355 It's a look that's happening! Watch MTV! 393 00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:54,790 Yeah, I'm sure all the young boys 394 00:14:54,858 --> 00:14:56,291 are wearing leopard sweaters. 395 00:14:56,359 --> 00:14:59,094 Hey! That's my leopard! 396 00:14:59,162 --> 00:15:01,630 Okay, fine. Clearly, you're gonna kill me, and... 397 00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:03,165 Yes! Yes, I am! 398 00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:06,134 - Do it, Murray. Do it with your hands. - Just hear me out, please. 399 00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:09,171 I'm nothing like you, dad. 400 00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:11,406 I don't dominate in high school. 401 00:15:11,474 --> 00:15:13,442 I don't hold sports records. 402 00:15:13,509 --> 00:15:16,211 People only know me 'cause I get angry at pudding. 403 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:18,647 Listen, you've had your glory days, 404 00:15:18,715 --> 00:15:20,449 and they sounded awesome. 405 00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,051 But this, in there, 406 00:15:23,119 --> 00:15:24,686 this is the best I'm ever gonna do. 407 00:15:25,889 --> 00:15:29,391 Oh, Boopie. That's so sad. 408 00:15:29,459 --> 00:15:30,859 But you are in so much trouble. 409 00:15:30,927 --> 00:15:32,027 But... Aww. 410 00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,496 I'm begging you. This is my moment. 411 00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:35,631 All I'm asking for 412 00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:37,799 is seven more hours of nonstop partying. 413 00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,735 Absolutely not. 414 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:41,236 You got 10 minutes. 415 00:15:41,304 --> 00:15:43,839 - Seriously? - Yeah, but do me a favor. 416 00:15:43,907 --> 00:15:46,709 Make this a night you'll always remember. 417 00:15:46,776 --> 00:15:48,710 You are the greatest father on this planet. 418 00:15:49,136 --> 00:15:51,590 As my brother desperately sprinted off 419 00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:53,215 for his 10 minutes of glory, 420 00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,350 my dad realized he could still be a hero 421 00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:57,186 to someone who actually mattered. 422 00:15:57,253 --> 00:15:59,621 Awful parenting choice. 423 00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,089 Just awful. 424 00:16:01,157 --> 00:16:04,324 You've seen him run. He needs this. 425 00:16:04,349 --> 00:16:06,028 [Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" plays] 426 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:09,932 Tommy used to work on the docks 427 00:16:09,999 --> 00:16:11,300 Union's been on strike, 428 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:13,569 he's down on his luck. 429 00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:15,771 It's tough. 430 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,396 So tough. 431 00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:24,213 Gina works the diner all day 432 00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:26,298 This was it... Barry's year was coming to a close, 433 00:16:26,323 --> 00:16:29,118 and it all came down to 10 magical minutes. 434 00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:31,086 She brings home her pay for love 435 00:16:31,154 --> 00:16:33,777 He knew there was only one way to leave his mark. 436 00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:36,492 That was on the dance floor. 437 00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:39,247 He may have been a far cry from Michael Jackson, 438 00:16:39,272 --> 00:16:41,730 but in that moment, he sure felt like him. 439 00:16:42,064 --> 00:16:45,034 It wasn't just Barry's enthusiasm that brought the crowd together. 440 00:16:45,385 --> 00:16:47,970 It was his giant '80s boom box 441 00:16:48,038 --> 00:16:50,639 blasting out the anthem of our youth. 442 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,941 - And it sounded like this. - We'll give it a shot 443 00:16:53,009 --> 00:16:56,645 All: Oh, we're halfway there 444 00:16:56,713 --> 00:17:00,749 Whoa, livin' on a prayer 445 00:17:00,774 --> 00:17:02,543 Take my hand 446 00:17:02,568 --> 00:17:04,353 We'll make it, I swear 447 00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:07,944 Whoa, livin' on a prayer 448 00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,450 Who is that guy? 449 00:17:10,026 --> 00:17:12,461 That's Barry Goldberg. This is his party. 450 00:17:12,529 --> 00:17:15,540 Tommy's got his six-string in hock 451 00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:18,133 - Now he's holding in - Dude, Lexy Bloom's looking over here. 452 00:17:18,158 --> 00:17:20,493 What do I do? 453 00:17:20,518 --> 00:17:22,547 I'm gonna help you out. You ready to make her jealous? 454 00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:25,571 - Make her what? - It's tough 455 00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:30,346 Gina dreams of running away 456 00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:32,250 What are you doing? 457 00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:34,083 Ow! I don't know! What are you doing? 458 00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,987 Tommy whispers, "baby, it's okay 459 00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,788 Someday" 460 00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:44,760 We've got to hold on to what we've got 461 00:17:44,828 --> 00:17:49,732 This is the greatest night of my life! 462 00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:52,201 - Yeah! - We've got each other 463 00:17:52,268 --> 00:17:54,536 Time's up! Get the hell out of my house! 464 00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:56,839 And leave my [Bleep] sweaters! 465 00:17:56,906 --> 00:17:59,775 Naturally, my brother was grounded for the entire summer. 466 00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:03,646 And you get to take all my sweaters to the dry cleaners. 467 00:18:03,713 --> 00:18:06,281 But sometimes, those magic moments are worth it. 468 00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:08,517 I'm very upset. You have a lot of nerve, young man. 469 00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:11,163 It was a night he'd carry with him forever, 470 00:18:11,188 --> 00:18:13,589 a night no one could take away. 471 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:18,124 For one brief moment, Barry Goldberg was a legend. 472 00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:20,522 [Guitar solo] 473 00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:32,541 Y-you want to hear about, uh, how I met Lou Reed? 474 00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:34,677 - Ooh, we've got to hold on - Uh, yeah. 475 00:18:34,744 --> 00:18:36,945 - Okay. It was 1965... - ready or not 476 00:18:37,013 --> 00:18:39,389 Sure, my dad would always be the kind of guy 477 00:18:39,414 --> 00:18:41,745 who loved his TV and his lazy boy. 478 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,714 but after that fateful night, 479 00:18:43,739 --> 00:18:45,754 he found it easier to open up a bit more. 480 00:18:45,822 --> 00:18:47,056 - Whoa - Swish, baby! 481 00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:48,891 - Livin' on a prayer - Ah. 482 00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:50,859 - Take my hand - Okay, by my count, 483 00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,562 you've missed the last 22 shots. 484 00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:56,165 - Whoa, livin' on a prayer - Just do it my way once. 485 00:18:56,232 --> 00:18:57,800 [Sighs] Fine. 486 00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,102 Oh, we're halfway there 487 00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,704 Whoa 488 00:19:01,729 --> 00:19:03,224 - Livin' on a prayer - Wish, baby! 489 00:19:03,249 --> 00:19:04,416 New shooting style! 490 00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:06,136 - Take my hand - And, even crazier, 491 00:19:06,161 --> 00:19:08,310 Barry got my dad, the free-throw king... 492 00:19:08,378 --> 00:19:10,279 back on the court for some actual pointers. 493 00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:11,914 - Whoa, livin' on a prayer - Intangibles! 494 00:19:11,982 --> 00:19:13,215 - It didn't help much. - Whoa, we're halfway there 495 00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,517 Oh, honey. 496 00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:17,319 You're delicious no matter how bad you are. 497 00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:19,321 - Oh, damn it, Barry! - Livin' on a prayer 498 00:19:19,346 --> 00:19:20,990 - Take my hand - When it comes to my childhood, 499 00:19:21,057 --> 00:19:24,103 I may not always remember exactly when something happened, 500 00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:26,184 or exactly who was there. 501 00:19:26,209 --> 00:19:29,164 but I do know that it was 1980-something 502 00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:31,300 and it was awesome. 503 00:19:31,368 --> 00:19:32,968 Doo! Doo, Doo, Doo! 504 00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:36,605 Stop videotaping! Get out! Mom! 505 00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:38,607 Stop! I swear... 506 00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:41,443 [Breathing rapidly] 507 00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:42,945 Death blow. Death blow. 508 00:19:43,013 --> 00:19:44,770 Hyah! Yah! Yah! 509 00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:46,782 You're aggravating me, you little bastard! 510 00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,951 He's aggravating me, the little bastard! 511 00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:50,619 Why are you hitting yourself, huh? 512 00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,121 What did your face ever do to you? Ow. 513 00:19:52,188 --> 00:19:53,288 [Grunts] Ow. 514 00:19:53,356 --> 00:19:54,790 Open up. 515 00:19:54,858 --> 00:19:57,626 No! No! No! No! No! 516 00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:01,130 No. No. No. No. 517 00:20:01,197 --> 00:20:02,464 [Laughs] 518 00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:04,566 My God. This house is going nuts. 519 00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:06,735 This house is going nuts. 520 00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:08,070 I am Optimus Prime, 521 00:20:08,138 --> 00:20:09,571 and I am a good guy, and I will kick your butt! 522 00:20:09,681 --> 00:20:11,282 [Knock on door] Who's there? 523 00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,574 Murray: Get dressed now! 524 00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:14,076 Man: Get dressed now. 525 00:20:14,144 --> 00:20:15,911 And this is it. 526 00:20:15,979 --> 00:20:18,447 Aah! That hurt! Aah! 527 00:20:19,107 --> 00:20:20,829 Whoa! What a night! 528 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,156 So, you got any OJ? 529 00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:24,965 Sorry, what the hell are you doing here? 530 00:20:25,028 --> 00:20:26,956 Passed out in the basement during the party. 531 00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:29,230 - Take off my sweater and get out. - What's in it for me? 532 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,972 Nothing. It's my weater. 533 00:20:31,019 --> 00:20:32,019 Fine. 534 00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:34,547 - Show me your boobs. - No. 535 00:20:34,547 --> 00:20:35,603 Then give me $1 million. 536 00:20:35,659 --> 00:20:38,071 I'd very much like to revisit the boob conversation. 537 00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:39,728 I feel like we've done this once before. 538 00:20:39,728 --> 00:20:41,376 - Did it end in boobs? - No. 539 00:20:41,619 --> 00:20:43,985 Tell me something. When was the last time you had 540 00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:45,825 - a balanced breakfast? - Every day. 541 00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:48,224 Protein from beef jerky, energy from frosting. 542 00:20:48,357 --> 00:20:50,513 Sweetie, sit down. I'm gonna make you some food, 543 00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:54,440 you're gonna eat it, then you're gonna take off my sweater and get the hell out. 544 00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,585 Morning, Barry. 545 00:20:57,726 --> 00:21:02,578 - sync and corrections by Albanda - - www.Addic7ed.com - 546 00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:07,178 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40715

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