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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,334
Well...
2
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:05,445
Does it hurt when you pass water?
No. Flow?
3
00:00:05,446 --> 00:00:06,925
It's like I'm trying to run a bath,
4
00:00:06,926 --> 00:00:09,725
but someone's got a tap on in the
other room. It takes ages. Righto.
5
00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:13,109
I'm going to need
more than "righto".
6
00:00:13,174 --> 00:00:16,013
Daniel, what do you want from me?
Some help?
7
00:00:16,014 --> 00:00:19,213
Dr Baxter is
a very busy man, Daniel.
8
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:20,653
Look, why are you even here?
9
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,493
Well, you've nothing to hide
from Auntie.
10
00:00:22,494 --> 00:00:24,733
I've picked up your undies,
remember. Hm.
11
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:27,853
Yellow at the front, brown at the
back, just like a Battenberg, Roger.
12
00:00:27,854 --> 00:00:30,133
They take you for granted,
don't they?
13
00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:32,373
They do. And it's not as if
we haven't noticed
14
00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:33,853
that his tinkles take longer.
15
00:00:33,854 --> 00:00:35,134
Eh, hound?
16
00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:38,893
Dog in the surgery,
that's OK, is it?
17
00:00:38,894 --> 00:00:41,133
Pistachio is always welcome.
18
00:00:41,134 --> 00:00:44,734
It's nice to have a male in the room
that doesn't have faulty waterworks.
19
00:00:47,454 --> 00:00:48,813
Unbelievable.
20
00:00:48,814 --> 00:00:52,573
Daniel, you clearly
only need reassuring.
21
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:56,253
Look, you probably have
a slightly swollen prostate.
22
00:00:56,254 --> 00:00:59,573
Quite normal in a man of your age.
23
00:00:59,574 --> 00:01:01,533
What does he mean, a man my age?
24
00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:03,533
Oh, what a fuss you do make.
25
00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:04,853
Help me.
26
00:01:04,854 --> 00:01:07,693
You want me to put my finger
up your bum, don't you?
27
00:01:07,694 --> 00:01:09,493
No!
28
00:01:09,494 --> 00:01:12,813
Not if it's not necessary.
Well, that's the test.
29
00:01:12,814 --> 00:01:15,893
Why do you want Dr Baxter
to finger your bottom, Daniel?
30
00:01:15,894 --> 00:01:19,613
I don't want it.
Right.
31
00:01:19,614 --> 00:01:23,614
Pop behind the curtain,
pull your pants aside and relax.
32
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,480
Aside?
33
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:53,267
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
34
00:01:53,268 --> 00:01:54,814
All right, Charlotte, on you get.
35
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,573
Ashley, yeah.
Emma!
36
00:01:57,574 --> 00:02:00,174
Emma. Hey.
37
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:05,213
Blimey, are you all right?
Yeah, of course.
38
00:02:05,214 --> 00:02:08,053
How come you're out of breath?
You only ran from over there.
39
00:02:08,054 --> 00:02:10,653
I'm fine. Sir, you've gone grey.
You've got a nerve
40
00:02:10,654 --> 00:02:13,533
talking about my face, son.
You look like the Angel of the North.
41
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:17,253
I would say come with us,
but there are a lot of hills.
42
00:02:17,254 --> 00:02:18,293
Oh.
43
00:02:18,294 --> 00:02:20,973
And it would be awful if you had
a massive fatal heart attack.
44
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,053
What's your nan wearing today?
45
00:02:23,054 --> 00:02:26,173
It's just cos, well,
you've got her clothes, so...
46
00:02:26,174 --> 00:02:27,613
Prick.
47
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:31,614
Yeah, that's enough, thank you.
Get on the bus, you lot.
48
00:02:32,294 --> 00:02:34,093
You need to start
looking after yourself.
49
00:02:34,094 --> 00:02:36,173
You wouldn't say that
if you saw me down the gym.
50
00:02:36,174 --> 00:02:38,293
I would pay money
to see you at the gym.
51
00:02:38,294 --> 00:02:40,053
Hey, Dan. Oh, God.
52
00:02:40,054 --> 00:02:42,533
Coming along?
No, he's got a workout.
53
00:02:42,534 --> 00:02:44,613
Yeah, right, good one.
54
00:02:44,614 --> 00:02:46,533
Wobble, wobble!
55
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,333
I'll save you a seat, Miss Lipsey.
56
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,733
Hope you've been brushing up
on your I Spy.
57
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:52,453
I have, Alistair.
58
00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:55,613
Hm. How come you're
sitting next to that knob?
59
00:02:55,614 --> 00:02:58,013
You wouldn't sit next to me
on the Burghley Castle trip.
60
00:02:58,014 --> 00:03:00,693
Yeah, well, he doesn't fall asleep.
Your head weighs a ton.
61
00:03:00,694 --> 00:03:04,694
What, and he's got
a light head, has he?
62
00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:11,693
Bye, then!
63
00:03:11,694 --> 00:03:13,453
Oh.
64
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,453
Oh, no.
65
00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:18,573
Oh! Oh, hello, everyone!
66
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,293
I wonder who I'm related to!
67
00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:22,533
Oh, good! Oh, no! Family tree!
68
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,053
What are you doing here?
69
00:03:24,054 --> 00:03:26,253
Smoking you out of your nerd hole.
It's lunchtime.
70
00:03:26,254 --> 00:03:27,733
Will you keep your voice down?
71
00:03:27,734 --> 00:03:30,053
Oh, we mustn't talk in the library!
72
00:03:30,054 --> 00:03:32,373
We must have a little mint
that we get out of our pocket,
73
00:03:32,374 --> 00:03:34,173
where our tissue is.
Oh, family tree!
74
00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:36,333
I've had a fucking
nightmare today already.
75
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:37,693
Baxter's put me on cock pills.
76
00:03:37,694 --> 00:03:39,653
Seriously, I think
it's the endgame, mate.
77
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,573
Shhh!
78
00:03:41,574 --> 00:03:43,933
Do you know what my body
looks like these days?
79
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:47,853
Looks like an inbred toddler has
picked the pastry off a pork pie
80
00:03:47,854 --> 00:03:50,933
and squeezed the meat into
what he thinks is the shape of a man.
81
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,453
Be quiet.
82
00:03:52,454 --> 00:03:55,213
Maybe if you'd taken a single day
of exercise in your life...
83
00:03:55,214 --> 00:03:56,413
Oh, how should I get fit?
84
00:03:56,414 --> 00:03:59,373
I thought I'd come down the
library and look at my family tree.
85
00:03:59,374 --> 00:04:01,653
You think you've had a bad morning?
86
00:04:01,654 --> 00:04:04,693
The stuff the microfiche has thrown
up has been... well, devastating.
87
00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:07,213
I wonder if...
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
88
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:10,773
Oh, can I have some
books, please? Books are my friends.
89
00:04:10,774 --> 00:04:14,774
Family tree! Oh.
90
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:18,573
Oh, hello.
91
00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:22,574
I like the library.
92
00:04:23,734 --> 00:04:26,733
What are you doing?
93
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:30,734
Oh, God.
94
00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:36,853
What are you reading?
95
00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:38,853
Oh, Market... I've read that.
96
00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:42,854
It's got... It's got
really good markets in it.
97
00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:46,133
Bye.
98
00:04:46,134 --> 00:04:50,134
Anyway, I'm going to get
down the gym, hit it hard.
99
00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:51,613
I'm going to cut out the carbs
100
00:04:51,614 --> 00:04:53,613
and I'll walk past
that tool from maths
101
00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:55,773
and I'll lift a filing cabinet
above my head
102
00:04:55,774 --> 00:04:59,774
and I'll go, "Yeah! Hi, Alistair!
Fancy a game of I Spy?"
103
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,973
And then,
and here's the twist, Brian,
104
00:05:01,974 --> 00:05:04,173
I'm going to deliberately
shit myself.
105
00:05:04,174 --> 00:05:07,213
Could we, for once,
not talk exclusively about you?
106
00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:09,653
Hello. What can I get you?
107
00:05:09,654 --> 00:05:10,853
What are you doing?
108
00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:13,093
What's it look like?
I'm taking your order. Come on.
109
00:05:13,094 --> 00:05:14,173
You work here?
110
00:05:14,174 --> 00:05:17,453
Yes, obviously.
Come on, get a wriggle on. Order!
111
00:05:17,454 --> 00:05:19,213
What the fuck? Bob!
112
00:05:19,214 --> 00:05:20,813
Shakira, hang on. I was...
113
00:05:20,814 --> 00:05:24,814
Calm down...
114
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:31,293
Lovely little run, that.
115
00:05:31,294 --> 00:05:32,613
What just happened?
116
00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:36,614
Oh, that? An idea me and my careers
adviser came up with. Stealth work.
117
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,173
Stealth work? Not a lot of jobs
about, and my CV's rubbish,
118
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:43,573
so, if someone leaves their post,
bam! I'm in.
119
00:05:43,574 --> 00:05:47,053
Until I'm caught, I'm employed,
and it goes on the CV.
120
00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:49,213
That was nine minutes of catering.
121
00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:51,613
It's going to look
pretty sweet on here.
122
00:05:51,614 --> 00:05:53,373
It's creative.
123
00:05:53,374 --> 00:05:55,293
It's madness.
124
00:05:55,294 --> 00:05:57,173
No employer will be
interested in a CV
125
00:05:57,174 --> 00:06:00,613
comprising a few stolen moments
in someone else's job.
126
00:06:00,614 --> 00:06:04,493
God! If I could just have
one day off your stereo bullshit!
127
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,333
What is wrong with you, Tache?
128
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,293
You've been in a right egg
since the library.
129
00:06:08,294 --> 00:06:12,294
Doesn't matter.
Better get back to work.
130
00:06:12,854 --> 00:06:16,854
He's right, no rest for the wicked.
131
00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:19,813
Jo?
132
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:23,814
Excuse me, sir! You can't
park there! Oi! Come back!
133
00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:29,053
Shakira, do you think I'm fat?
134
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:31,654
As fuck.
135
00:06:33,174 --> 00:06:35,733
Are you Dan? Yeah.
136
00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:37,373
You want a personal trainer, yeah?
137
00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:40,253
Yeah, you know, I just thought
I might tone up a bit.
138
00:06:40,254 --> 00:06:44,254
How old? 43.
139
00:06:44,694 --> 00:06:46,173
Tongue?
140
00:06:46,174 --> 00:06:48,893
Nah. Nah, mate, sorry.
141
00:06:48,894 --> 00:06:50,093
What do you mean?
142
00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:51,653
You're too far gone.
143
00:06:51,654 --> 00:06:52,853
I'm what?
144
00:06:52,854 --> 00:06:55,333
You've slipped over the edge, mate.
I'm not a magician.
145
00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:57,413
Fucking hell!
You must be able to do something.
146
00:06:57,414 --> 00:07:01,013
If anything, I'd just make you
worse. Hang on, look at this.
147
00:07:01,014 --> 00:07:03,533
Er...
This.
148
00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:06,773
This. All of this. This... This.
149
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,693
You're on cock pills, yeah?
No.
150
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,253
Yeah, you are. You're on cock pills.
151
00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:14,254
It's all gone, mate, all of... this.
It's all gone all bad now.
152
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,693
Oh...
153
00:07:21,694 --> 00:07:25,053
Oh! Hi. You're... You're from the...
154
00:07:25,054 --> 00:07:26,933
The library.
Yeah.
155
00:07:26,934 --> 00:07:30,373
Yeah, you, um...
been to the old gym, yeah?
156
00:07:30,374 --> 00:07:31,773
Yeah, yeah.
157
00:07:31,774 --> 00:07:34,733
I've just been getting back
into the, um... kickboxing.
158
00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:36,013
Getting back into that.
159
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:38,453
Oh, you're a kick boxer?
160
00:07:38,454 --> 00:07:40,933
Oh, God, I used to be. Yeah.
161
00:07:40,934 --> 00:07:44,934
I mean, now it's just a really cool
way of keeping in shape, you know.
162
00:07:46,454 --> 00:07:48,133
Do a round dose.
163
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:52,134
Your hair looks good wet. I mean...
164
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,213
..it would be good dry, it...
I like the wet.
165
00:07:54,214 --> 00:07:57,013
In the '80s,
we would all wear wet hair gel.
166
00:07:57,014 --> 00:07:59,853
It made everyone look like a
paedophile. I wasn't a paedophile.
167
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,293
Cos that'd be madness
with you, cos you...
168
00:08:02,294 --> 00:08:04,613
What are you?
In 1989, you would be what?
169
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,173
Two.
170
00:08:06,174 --> 00:08:10,174
Two? Fuck me! I'd had three cars.
171
00:08:10,814 --> 00:08:12,933
You're not going to give me
your number, are you?
172
00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:16,934
No, so...
173
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,173
Oh, yeah!
174
00:08:29,174 --> 00:08:33,174
Look at it! Look at it!
175
00:08:36,574 --> 00:08:38,653
Listen to some
of the text banter we've had.
176
00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:41,333
I said, "Fancy going out tonight,
then?"
177
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:43,893
And then I said, "It's Dan,
the tall guy from the gym."
178
00:08:43,894 --> 00:08:46,133
And she didn't respond
straight away, so I thought,
179
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,453
"Ah, I'd better play it cool."
180
00:08:47,454 --> 00:08:51,173
So, I said, "No biggie
if you're not up for it. All cool."
181
00:08:51,174 --> 00:08:53,213
And then straight off
the back of it, I said,
182
00:08:53,214 --> 00:08:56,013
"I'm probably just going to go
clubbing or whatever. Let me know."
183
00:08:56,014 --> 00:08:57,453
And then she didn't respond,
184
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,853
so in the end I said,
"Look, are you getting these texts?
185
00:08:59,854 --> 00:09:02,093
"We're heading into
out-of-order territory here."
186
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:04,813
And then she replied.
187
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:08,213
She said, "Sorry,
I was in the other room.
188
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,173
"Yes, I could come out. Sounds fun."
189
00:09:11,174 --> 00:09:13,934
Mate, I'm old enough to be her dad
and she said I sound fun.
190
00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:18,933
Buy your own Flumps.
191
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,613
What is wrong with you?
192
00:09:21,614 --> 00:09:23,773
Binmen.
193
00:09:23,774 --> 00:09:26,373
What?
194
00:09:26,374 --> 00:09:30,374
My ancestors were binmen.
195
00:09:31,094 --> 00:09:34,653
I thought I'd come from a long line
of financial advisers or something.
196
00:09:34,654 --> 00:09:36,493
I thought I knew who I was.
197
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:40,494
And to find out like that,
in the library of all places.
198
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,173
You've seen the binmen
on our estate,
199
00:09:43,174 --> 00:09:46,653
barking at each other in a...
a lexicon only they understand.
200
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,333
Pat Bellows next door complained -
201
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,853
they just left
an old fish on his lawn.
202
00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:52,373
Anarchy.
203
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:56,374
To think I've got that blood
coursing through my veins.
204
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,973
And yet...
205
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:02,173
Go on.
206
00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:06,174
I can't deny some part of me
finds it thrilling.
207
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:10,214
God, I'm so confused.
208
00:10:10,494 --> 00:10:12,053
Go to them.
209
00:10:12,054 --> 00:10:13,773
What?
210
00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:16,733
I think I've found my happiness
in Lottie, Brian, and it's...
211
00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:19,973
it's time for you to find yours.
212
00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:23,213
Go to them.
213
00:10:23,214 --> 00:10:24,973
Sounds like a cracking idea.
214
00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:28,974
Oi! Oi, you!
215
00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:34,093
These bloody cock pills
are ridiculous.
216
00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:37,493
I'm going off like a riot hose.
I'm waterboarding a rat here.
217
00:10:37,494 --> 00:10:39,454
Exciting about Lottie, though.
218
00:10:42,134 --> 00:10:43,773
She's amazing, mate.
219
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:47,533
So stressful, though.
Where do you take a young hipster?
220
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:50,853
I know just the place,
really cool bistro in town.
221
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:52,133
Yeah? She'll love it.
222
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:54,373
I worked there,
day before yesterday.
223
00:10:54,374 --> 00:10:56,133
Sweet seven minutes 20.
224
00:10:56,134 --> 00:10:59,453
Guys! Guys.
225
00:10:59,454 --> 00:11:02,053
You'll never guess
what they've got over there.
226
00:11:02,054 --> 00:11:04,454
An old teddy strapped
to a bin lorry.
227
00:11:05,494 --> 00:11:07,893
Gary and Macca seem like
really nice guys.
228
00:11:07,894 --> 00:11:11,013
I told them all about my ancestors,
and, get this,
229
00:11:11,014 --> 00:11:13,813
they've invited me along
on their bin round later.
230
00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:15,373
They do a night round.
231
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:19,253
Want to come over and meet the boys?
See the bear?
232
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:20,626
No?
233
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,842
I've ironed those clothes, Daniel.
234
00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:38,482
Are you sure they'll fit?
You haven't worn them for years.
235
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,082
Mind your own business.
236
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:42,402
And can you not come in here
when I'm in the bath, old woman?
237
00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:46,403
I'm very excited about this new
girlfriend. Does she like gardening?
238
00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:49,162
Cos I could do her some cuttings.
239
00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:52,682
She is a cool younger woman
with a bod made for sin.
240
00:11:52,683 --> 00:11:54,802
She doesn't want to join
arthritic pottering club.
241
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:57,522
Yes, stop fussing, Polly.
242
00:11:57,523 --> 00:12:00,602
What do I have to do to stop you
both from coming into my flat?
243
00:12:00,603 --> 00:12:02,402
I don't need you to wash my hair!
244
00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:04,242
Why on earth
would I want to wash your hair?
245
00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:07,162
You said you wanted
a new youthful appearance
246
00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:11,163
and it's all natural,
none of your shop-bought rubbish.
247
00:12:11,203 --> 00:12:15,203
I'm sorry? Sorry? Please tell me
you haven't dyed my hair.
248
00:12:15,323 --> 00:12:18,483
Well, of course I've dyed your hair!
You said you wanted to look younger.
249
00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:24,843
Sometimes it's just good
to freshen your look up, isn't it?
250
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,762
I... I just didn't recognise you at
first.
251
00:12:27,763 --> 00:12:29,322
No. Ha!
252
00:12:29,323 --> 00:12:31,762
Ohh...
253
00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:33,602
Uh-oh.
254
00:12:33,603 --> 00:12:35,482
Here comes the 1950s.
255
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:38,642
Now, then, you two.
Welcome, welcome.
256
00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:41,282
You've had a chance
to peruse the menus, I hope?
257
00:12:41,283 --> 00:12:43,082
Yeah, just two tequilas
to get us going, please.
258
00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:45,642
No, before we start, um... may I ask,
er...
259
00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:48,522
how this sauce, er...
came to arrive at your table?
260
00:12:48,523 --> 00:12:50,882
Yes, I brought it over.
Two tequilas, please.
261
00:12:50,883 --> 00:12:52,842
We don't help ourselves to
condiments.
262
00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:56,562
So, I'll pop that over here
263
00:12:56,563 --> 00:13:00,042
and, when you're ready, give me a
little call and I'll bring it over.
264
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:01,762
Now then, drink?
265
00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:04,643
Two tequilas, please. Ladies first.
That's how we do things.
266
00:13:04,644 --> 00:13:08,162
Just a small Merlot, please.
Oh, cool, yeah.
267
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,282
Yeah, we should.
We should just ease into it.
268
00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:13,402
That's so cool.
Yeah, I'll just have a pint, please.
269
00:13:13,403 --> 00:13:15,602
We only do wine.
Yup.
270
00:13:15,603 --> 00:13:17,202
A pint of wine?
271
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:18,802
Yes.
272
00:13:18,803 --> 00:13:20,682
You want a pint of wine?
273
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:23,002
Yes, if that's all right?
274
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:27,003
Well, I'll have to open
another bottle, but, er...
275
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:30,763
Man! What's his problem?
276
00:13:32,403 --> 00:13:34,682
Ah, did you have a good day?
277
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:37,162
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
278
00:13:37,163 --> 00:13:40,322
What did you do?
Just shopping.
279
00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:44,202
Oh, shopping. Oh, wow.
Where... Where were you shopping?
280
00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:45,962
Just at the market.
281
00:13:45,963 --> 00:13:48,042
You... You bought some...
282
00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:50,402
Just bought some vegetables.
283
00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,122
Oh, veget...
284
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,962
I love veg. Mmm!
285
00:13:54,963 --> 00:13:58,642
I love them.
286
00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:00,762
Oh.
287
00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:02,643
I ate a whole bag of potatoes once.
288
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:08,443
Oh, look out.
289
00:14:09,843 --> 00:14:11,922
Oh, um...
290
00:14:11,923 --> 00:14:14,763
can we have some ketchup
for our table, please?
291
00:14:17,243 --> 00:14:19,803
You... You haven't got your
food yet.
292
00:14:19,804 --> 00:14:21,362
No, but you said if I wanted some...
293
00:14:21,363 --> 00:14:24,962
Right! I felt a little bit
uncomfortable with the pint of wine.
294
00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:27,922
You don't need sauce
on your table, do you?
295
00:14:27,923 --> 00:14:28,962
Or do you?
296
00:14:28,963 --> 00:14:31,442
You want your sauce
when you've got your food!
297
00:14:31,443 --> 00:14:35,443
I'll bring the condiments
when there's food on the table!
298
00:14:36,163 --> 00:14:40,163
I can't be making multiple journeys
to your table when there's no food here!
299
00:14:41,163 --> 00:14:44,002
When you've got your food,
I'll bring your sauce!
300
00:14:44,003 --> 00:14:48,003
But I won't do it before! I won't bring it
to an empty space! I just won't do it!
301
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:57,843
Jesus.
302
00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,802
Phew.
303
00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:02,642
Cheers.
304
00:15:02,643 --> 00:15:04,522
Mm. Mm!
305
00:15:04,523 --> 00:15:07,882
Mm-mm-mm.
306
00:15:07,883 --> 00:15:09,082
Mm.
307
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:11,122
Mm.
308
00:15:11,123 --> 00:15:12,842
Mm.
309
00:15:12,843 --> 00:15:16,802
Mm-mm!
310
00:15:16,803 --> 00:15:20,002
Ah.
311
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:24,003
Do you like potatoes?
312
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:28,723
Yeah, very good!
313
00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:32,522
Nearly there! Whoa! Yeah!
314
00:15:32,523 --> 00:15:35,962
Excellent work, Macca!
You reversed the hell out of that!
315
00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:38,562
Fuck!
316
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,802
God, it feels good to let loose.
317
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:43,483
Did you see his face when I ordered
that second pint of wine?
318
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,522
We're mad, aren't we, you and me,
Lottie?
319
00:15:46,523 --> 00:15:48,282
Oi, nice jeans, mate.
320
00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:51,282
Have a bit of respect, son.
These are Hacienda originals.
321
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,002
You look like a 1980s snooker
player.
322
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:56,043
Oh, yeah? See if you think that when
I'm pilled-up on the dance floor later.
323
00:15:56,044 --> 00:15:57,802
What's that?
Eh?
324
00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,042
Drugs?
325
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:00,602
He hasn't got no drugs, mate. Look
at him.
326
00:16:00,603 --> 00:16:02,722
I might have some drugs.
327
00:16:02,723 --> 00:16:05,002
He hasn't got any drugs. He's about
50.
328
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:07,682
Yeah? Well, what are these, then?
329
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,962
Yeah, what are they?
What?
330
00:16:09,963 --> 00:16:11,482
Ah, no, these... these are fine.
331
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:14,803
These are alpha-blockers.
They're for a swollen prostate.
332
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:18,002
I haven't got a swollen prostate.
333
00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:19,562
Well, you're about the right age.
334
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:23,563
For your information, I've used that
container to smuggle Es and poppers in.
335
00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:26,362
So. And you've got a nerve,
talking about my age.
336
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:29,442
You look like Tom Cruise's dad,
his fat dad.
337
00:16:29,443 --> 00:16:32,642
You look like Tom Cruise's fat dad.
338
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:36,643
Lottie, shall we?
339
00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:46,962
Tom Cruise! Cocktail.
340
00:16:46,963 --> 00:16:50,362
Oh, God. Of course you're working
here. Best one yet.
341
00:16:50,363 --> 00:16:54,363
I've been here two hours. No-one's batted
a bloody eyelid. How's the date going?
342
00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:57,562
Shit, thanks to you.
That restaurant was rubbish.
343
00:16:57,563 --> 00:17:00,162
It must have got bad after I left.
Sorry.
344
00:17:00,163 --> 00:17:01,602
Free cocktail?
No.
345
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:04,402
I can't have any fluids.
The bouncers have got my cock pills.
346
00:17:04,403 --> 00:17:06,802
Look at me.
I'm swelling up like a greedy bee.
347
00:17:06,803 --> 00:17:09,762
I've got an idea.
No, no, you don't do anything.
348
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,762
Dan, trust me, yeah?
349
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:14,722
Problem one, you want Lottie
to think you're cool, right?
350
00:17:14,723 --> 00:17:16,202
Yes.
351
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,042
Problem two, you haven't got a
drink.
352
00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:20,362
No! I can't have any...
353
00:17:20,363 --> 00:17:22,882
Oh, Lottie, this is my friend Jo.
354
00:17:22,883 --> 00:17:26,643
Hi, Lottie.
Dan's a well good laugh, isn't he?
355
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:31,042
Special! Special! Special!
356
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:32,922
Special!
357
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:35,122
Special! Special! Special!
358
00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:37,682
Neck it! Neck it!
359
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:41,683
Neck it! Neck it!
360
00:17:44,243 --> 00:17:46,922
Ah, guys.
361
00:17:46,923 --> 00:17:48,522
Small point, er... but I noticed
362
00:17:48,523 --> 00:17:51,362
that we left a few polystyrene curls
on the road back there.
363
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,842
I mean, I know, technically,
they should be recycled,
364
00:17:53,843 --> 00:17:56,842
but, er... we've just got to use
our common sense here, right?
365
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,762
Don't want people saying we ain't making
the effort to keep the place looking tidy.
366
00:17:59,763 --> 00:18:03,763
Right?
367
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:08,003
Yorkie?
368
00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:12,842
Mate.
369
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,162
All right?
370
00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:17,042
Could I have those pills back?
371
00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:19,602
I lied. They are for my prostate.
372
00:18:19,603 --> 00:18:20,962
You hurt me.
373
00:18:20,963 --> 00:18:22,402
Sorry?
374
00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:24,842
You all right there, Terry?
This is him.
375
00:18:24,843 --> 00:18:27,322
Well. You thoughtless man.
376
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,762
Tom Cruise's dad?
Fat dad.
377
00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:31,322
Tom Cruise's fat dad?
378
00:18:31,323 --> 00:18:33,322
I was embarrassed.
379
00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:35,482
You thought you'd take it out on me.
Lovely.
380
00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:37,562
It's his birthday an' all.
How would you feel,
381
00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:41,282
being likened to a 50-year-old's
obese father on your special day?
382
00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:43,282
I'm sorry.
Are you?
383
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:45,122
Are you sorry?
384
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:48,882
Yeah. Now, please, lads,
can I have those pills?
385
00:18:48,883 --> 00:18:51,002
I'm puffed up like Barbapapa down
here.
386
00:18:51,003 --> 00:18:53,122
You'll have a birthday pint
with him first.
387
00:18:53,123 --> 00:18:55,002
What?
Make amends.
388
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,242
Would be nice.
389
00:18:57,243 --> 00:19:00,002
Oh, Christ.
390
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:01,362
Another thing, one time,
391
00:19:01,363 --> 00:19:04,282
he blew a massive bubble-gum bubble
and it all went in my hair.
392
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:08,283
Wicked.
393
00:19:11,363 --> 00:19:13,562
Bear with me.
394
00:19:13,563 --> 00:19:15,602
You all right?
395
00:19:15,603 --> 00:19:17,522
Yeah, yeah.
396
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,602
I hope Jo didn't say anything too
weird.
397
00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:21,962
No. Nothing weird.
398
00:19:21,963 --> 00:19:25,562
I'm just going to go to the toilet.
399
00:19:25,563 --> 00:19:28,882
Hi, guys. Let's get a bit old
school.
400
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:32,603
New DJ, new vibes.
We're going back to the '80s.
401
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:36,442
Oh, my God!
402
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:38,722
Come on, Grandad! Let's conga!
403
00:19:38,723 --> 00:19:39,762
Fuck off!
404
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,002
Your hips playing up, mate?
405
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:45,162
Do you want me to conga, Lottie?
406
00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:46,763
Well, fuck it! Let's conga, then!
407
00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:55,082
Yeah, Macca. Bit of bad news,
I'm afraid.
408
00:19:55,083 --> 00:19:58,322
You're not supposed to block the air
flow
409
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:01,282
through the front grille
of the old beast here.
410
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,122
I'm afraid old teddy
will have to come off.
411
00:20:04,123 --> 00:20:06,682
Er... yeah, guys.
412
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:10,683
Just saying to Macca,
um... the bear at the front...
413
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:14,682
..guys...
414
00:20:14,683 --> 00:20:16,123
Guys?
415
00:20:22,363 --> 00:20:24,163
Just let... Just let me!
416
00:20:28,203 --> 00:20:31,002
Er... just let...
417
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:32,403
Can I just...
418
00:20:34,603 --> 00:20:38,603
No! No!
419
00:20:43,363 --> 00:20:45,723
What the fuck?
420
00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:52,202
Oh, fuck! It's happening!
421
00:20:52,203 --> 00:20:54,242
No! It's happening!
422
00:20:54,243 --> 00:20:56,883
Aargh!
423
00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:13,043
Don't be too hard on him, Lottie.
He means well.
424
00:21:13,044 --> 00:21:14,562
Yes.
425
00:21:14,563 --> 00:21:18,563
If Brian was here, it wouldn't
happen. Brian's the sensible one.
426
00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:31,483
But it's good to have different
types of friends, isn't it?
427
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:36,123
A lot of this is, um... just
flush water from the urinal. It's...
428
00:21:38,603 --> 00:21:41,842
Well, it's not all piss.
429
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:44,242
It's OK, I get it.
430
00:21:44,243 --> 00:21:45,842
What?
431
00:21:45,843 --> 00:21:48,162
Look at me.
432
00:21:48,163 --> 00:21:49,802
You're not into this, are you?
433
00:21:49,803 --> 00:21:52,683
I mean, how would I know? I don't
know what you're into. You never say.
434
00:21:52,684 --> 00:21:56,122
But you're not into this.
435
00:21:56,123 --> 00:21:59,882
I would tell you what I was into,
but you never shut up,
436
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:01,882
you...
437
00:22:01,883 --> 00:22:03,522
silly lovely man.
438
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:06,522
Oh.
439
00:22:06,523 --> 00:22:08,562
Lottie?
440
00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:11,402
Yes, Dan?
441
00:22:11,403 --> 00:22:13,162
What are you into?
442
00:22:13,163 --> 00:22:16,162
That's it! Put them
in the fucking bag!
443
00:22:16,163 --> 00:22:19,362
Aah!
Oh! Oh!
444
00:22:19,363 --> 00:22:20,642
Spin them!
What?
445
00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:21,642
Spin them!
446
00:22:21,643 --> 00:22:23,482
What?
Fuck, yes!
447
00:22:23,483 --> 00:22:26,042
How much are they? Fuck!
I don't know!
448
00:22:26,043 --> 00:22:28,522
How much are your fucking apples?
449
00:22:28,523 --> 00:22:31,442
50p a pound.
Oh! Sell them to me.
450
00:22:31,443 --> 00:22:33,482
Apples! 50p a pound!
451
00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:37,402
Properly!
Apples! Get your apples!
452
00:22:37,403 --> 00:22:38,882
Yes!
Aah!
453
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:40,922
Oh! Fuck me!
Oh!
454
00:22:40,923 --> 00:22:42,842
Oh!
Fuck me, market boy!
455
00:22:42,843 --> 00:22:44,282
I'm trying!
456
00:22:44,283 --> 00:22:46,642
You dirty working-class bastard!
457
00:22:46,643 --> 00:22:50,643
I'm not into this!
458
00:22:52,923 --> 00:22:54,243
Has she gone?
459
00:22:56,563 --> 00:22:59,442
She's gone, Nesta.
460
00:22:59,443 --> 00:23:02,042
Please. Please.
461
00:23:02,043 --> 00:23:04,482
Leave me alone.
462
00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:07,922
I knew she was no good for you,
young lamb like that.
463
00:23:07,923 --> 00:23:10,082
You need a woman with proper hips.
464
00:23:10,083 --> 00:23:11,802
Christ!
465
00:23:11,803 --> 00:23:15,803
I think you should stick to wooing
that nice Emma girl.
466
00:23:16,203 --> 00:23:18,642
She's ever so sweet.
467
00:23:18,643 --> 00:23:22,643
I mean, what do I have to do, to
stop you both from coming into my flat?
468
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:25,562
Oh, come on, come on, come on, come
on.
469
00:23:25,563 --> 00:23:28,562
Oh. Oh, well, there's one bit of
good news.
470
00:23:28,563 --> 00:23:31,563
Your prostate's still working OK.
471
00:23:33,406 --> 00:24:02,965
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