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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:04,803
Hey, Brody.
3
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,340
I know I was hired to replace you
and now you're back upstairs.
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,010
I just wanted to make sure that
there's no awkwardness between us.
5
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,945
No. It's all good. We're both adults.
6
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,280
Why are you sitting at Trolltopia?
7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,282
You named the desk Trolltopia?
8
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,985
(Chuckles) That's so lame.
Sorry, Excelsior.
9
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,489
Where is my stuff?
10
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,823
It's on your new desk.
11
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,627
No. No way. That's the fart desk.
12
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,629
I have no idea what you're talking about.
13
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:31,964
Yes, you do.
14
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:35,768
People stop at that desk, pretend
to look at the Henderson file,
15
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,369
and then just let it rip.
16
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,638
Oh, the Henderson numbers.
17
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,275
Oh, they are looking very...
18
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,945
(High-pitched voice) ...Very...
19
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,648
(Normal voice) ...Strong.
20
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:57,289
Can I at least have my chair back?
21
00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:00,325
It took my three weeks to find one
that was perfect for my lumbar.
22
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,794
These chairs are all the same.
23
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:05,531
I've had back problems, so I
need a lot of extra support.
24
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,533
Aah!
25
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,901
(Gasps)
26
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,702
All right, people.
27
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,905
I know we're all very excited
to welcome back Mr. Moyer.
28
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:17,743
And like any triumphant return,
it deserves a-a great speech.
29
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,345
Son, you have 30 seconds.
30
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,980
Uh... I suppose I could
come up with something.
31
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:25,551
In the depth of winter, I found there
was, within me, an invincible summer.
32
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,919
I think... well said. Well said.
33
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,787
Now, in order to boost morale around here,
34
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,856
I like to have a little
friendly competition,
35
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,392
so I want you to all prepare
to get your asses kicked
36
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,061
in my annual three-on-three
basketball tournament.
37
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:40,399
- Let's play some round ball!
- Oh! I'm back just in time!
38
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,968
Some of you will be lucky
enough to play on my team.
39
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,970
Mr. Moyer, you'll be my point guard.
40
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,439
Mr. wen, as usual, you'll be my fourth man.
41
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,774
(Gasps) I'm so happy.
42
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,810
He called me a man.
43
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,512
Just to keep things fair,
44
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,682
I like to give my final spot
away to some random temp.
45
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,884
Let's see who the agency sent over.
46
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,954
Oh. What? Hey.
47
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,122
Look at you.
48
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,491
Son, tell me this...
49
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:08,026
have you... have you
ever played basketball?
50
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:12,731
I lucked out once again.
51
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,099
Happy to be here, sir.
52
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,835
By the way, I think you might be
underexposed in developing markets.
53
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,437
Not what you're here for.
54
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,773
All right. Let's get back to work.
55
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:25,177
But first, let me take a
look at this Henderson file.
56
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:36,588
Hey, Harvard.
57
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,923
Uh, I don't know if you deal
58
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,591
with getting people new chairs...
59
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,893
No.
60
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:43,061
It's just that my back is really sore.
61
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,963
(Chuckling) Um, crazy thought.
62
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,132
You know what might help is a massage.
63
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:50,002
Yeah, why don't I go ahead
and warm up these magic fingers
64
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:54,506
so I can Google "physical therapy."
65
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,141
No, thanks. I-I think I'll be okay.
66
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:59,077
(Sighs)
67
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,621
You need to ask that girl out, man.
68
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,089
I'm tired of seeing you so lonely,
69
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,091
and I'm tired of you coming
over to my family's house
70
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,793
for every single holiday.
71
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:18,964
Which reminds me... arbor day
is right around the corner.
72
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:22,167
And I got to get a pine-scented
joint to smoke with your grandma.
73
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,503
Stop smoking weed with my grandma!
74
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,539
Ask her out, man.
75
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,209
There's no way I'm
asking Lindsay out, okay?
76
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:36,048
Yes, she's cute and clearly very good
at soccer, but she's upstairs people.
77
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,550
And they're just so... how can I put this?
78
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,720
I'm back on top, you guys
79
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,889
That.
80
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,724
Hi, baby.
81
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,227
How's your first day up
there? Was it all guy talk?
82
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,596
(Deep voice) Money. Numbers.
83
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,464
Testicles.
84
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,865
(Normal voice) I don't know. (Chuckles)
85
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,133
No, no, no.
86
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,702
We discussed Threepeat's
underwear situation
87
00:03:56,704 --> 00:04:00,005
and then Mansfield's basketball
tournament, so, yeah, a little.
88
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,673
I love basketball.
89
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,842
You know, I almost got a
scholarship to play in college.
90
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,711
What? You never told me
you almost went to college.
91
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,546
What happened?
92
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,148
We won the championship
game, but I blew out my knee.
93
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,683
Well, you came down on it wrong?
94
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,151
No, not exactly.
95
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,153
I did it air-humping a
pony keg at the after party.
96
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,188
Oh.
97
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,557
Well, does it bother you?
98
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,560
A little when it rains, you know,
or if I move kind of weird.
99
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,095
I meant about not going to college.
100
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,796
Not really. I-I barely
even think about it.
101
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,133
So, um... How do I sign up
for, uh, the tournament?
102
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:31,637
Uh, you want to play in Mansfield's
basketball tournament?
103
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,804
Yeah.
104
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,107
That's... Not a problem, is it?
105
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:35,609
Uh...
106
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,812
It's a huge problem.
107
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,582
If I beat my girlfriend
at basketball, I'm a dick.
108
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,218
And if I go easy on her and let
her win, Mansfield will be pissed
109
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,753
and it'll ruin my first week back upstairs.
110
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,121
It's a lose/lose situation.
111
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:51,256
You're so lucky you
don't have a girlfriend.
112
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:56,228
Yeah. I feel lucky.
113
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,897
Anyway, uh, how exactly
did you leave it with Jenny?
114
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,733
I promised I'd talk to Mansfield
about her playing basketball.
115
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,669
Then that's exactly what you do.
116
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,571
You talk to Mansfield about
Jenny playing basketball,
117
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:10,609
but you technically don't ask him
about her playing in the tournament.
118
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,211
Plausible deniability. Brilliant.
119
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:16,148
I live my entire life that way.
120
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,317
For example, it is a true statement
121
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,620
when I say that I went to
Yale and graduated in 2002.
122
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,289
Wait. Are you saying you didn't go to Yale?
123
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,358
I went to Yale...
124
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,096
...on spring break...
125
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,031
Oh.
126
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:38,337
...right before I graduated
from UCONN in 2002.
127
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:41,640
That is genius. I could do this.
128
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,842
Sir?
129
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,177
Ah, Mr. Moyer.
130
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,713
Come on in. I'm just
practicing my set shot.
131
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,115
Think fast.
132
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,851
Are you gonna throw the ball at me?
133
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,020
Well, no. No. I'm just
giving you life advice.
134
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,222
I'm telling you to think fast.
135
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,758
Right.
136
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,627
You know, so many people play basketball.
137
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,197
I play basketball, you play, Jenny plays.
138
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,932
It's a very popular sport.
139
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,735
(Clears throat) That should cover it.
140
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,269
Jenny plays?
141
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,138
What's up?
142
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,906
Jenny should play in the tournament.
143
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,142
In fact, the whole ground floor
should play in the tournament.
144
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,611
Oh, I don't think that
would be a good idea.
145
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,046
It's a terrible idea.
146
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,315
I don't know why you brought
it up in the first place.
147
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,083
After all you've been through,
148
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,919
I-I would think you'd want
to keep your personal and...
149
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,988
a-and your work life separate.
150
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,957
It's a... it's a lose/lose.
151
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:35,193
Yeah. Right. So we shouldn't do it.
152
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:39,097
No. It's too late. I like it. It's done.
153
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,769
Ow! What the hell?!
154
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,270
Should have been thinking fast.
155
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,718
Hey.
156
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,386
Hello.
157
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,256
I'm just waiting for Derrick.
158
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:08,727
He apparently has some kind of
crazy-ass muffin he wants me to try.
159
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,662
Yeah, he told me the same thing.
160
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,397
I bet it's got craisins in it.
161
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,034
Harvard and Lindsay, I'm here to tell you
162
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,870
that the crazy-ass muffin club is a ruse.
163
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,772
You two are officially on a date.
164
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,874
Every time!
165
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,876
Come on, now. You both
are perfect for each other.
166
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,679
You're gullible, smart, and you
both think Harvard's cute.
167
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,015
Now, you better get your date on.
168
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,950
Get your date on!
169
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:36,888
I'm willing to give it a try if you are.
170
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,891
What would it entail?
171
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,794
Maybe some conversation.
172
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,164
For example, I like your beard.
173
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:50,769
I...Like your... Red hair.
174
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:55,040
I sort have a thing for recessive genes.
175
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:59,444
Well, every other generation of my family
has a sixth toe on their left foot.
176
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,113
Can you take off your
shoes and count to 11?
177
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,916
You'll have to get me
into sandals to find out.
178
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,718
(Giggles)
179
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,187
I also like science fiction.
180
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,390
Hello! You are going to love my book idea.
181
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:18,830
It's about a planet with not one, not
two, not 10, but 8 different genders.
182
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,166
That sounds great.
183
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,934
I actually once had...
bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
184
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,504
It's really rude to interrupt someone
when they're talking about their book.
185
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,239
Okay.
186
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,941
There are 268 chapters.
187
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:33,078
Chapter one... dawn of the vag-enis.
188
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,215
Check me out!
189
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:40,018
Basketball team M.V.P.
190
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,187
Damn, if I hadn't hurt my
knee, I could have been, like,
191
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,523
a famous WNBA player, you know?
192
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:47,292
I could have been, like,
a household name like...
193
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:53,164
You can't think of one
famous WNBA player, can you?
194
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:56,301
I want to say Lisa Loeb,
but I... that's not right.
195
00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,271
Hey.
196
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:01,439
Hey, babe. So, did you talk to Mansfield?
197
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,008
Can I play in the tournament?
198
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,277
Yes, I did talk to Mansfield.
199
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:08,013
And he thinks it's a terrible idea.
200
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,381
Mansfield said no?
201
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,317
Mansfield has said no.
202
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:16,187
Are you using plausible deniability on me?
203
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,890
These things never work out for me.
204
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,394
Look, I've only been
back up there a day, okay?
205
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,022
I just want to keep my
upstairs life separate.
206
00:09:24,053 --> 00:09:24,429
Why?
207
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:27,465
Because us downstairs people aren't
good enough to play in your game?
208
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,000
Okay, we are tired of being treated
209
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,037
like second-class
citizens, right, Derrick?
210
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,905
I'm staying out of this.
211
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,975
You're not second-class citizens.
212
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,344
You're equal... you
know, separate but equal.
213
00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,885
Okay, now I'm in it.
214
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,286
(Chuckles)
215
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,854
It is on, okay?
216
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:53,525
Downstairs versus
upstairs. Good versus evil.
217
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:56,027
Me versus you.
218
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,196
Fine... but just as a warning,
219
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,066
when we square off on the
court, I'm not your boyfriend.
220
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:05,270
I love you, but I'm gonna be the guy
that's out there thinking fast,
221
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:10,942
okay, on the floor, in my mind, everywhere.
222
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,210
You bring it on!
223
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,079
You do not know who you are dealing with!
224
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,315
I could have been the next Leslie Nielsen!
225
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,988
Yeah, that's not right, either.
226
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,323
I know it's not right. I know.
227
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:34,199
What an amazing date.
We talked for four hours.
228
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,368
And now we are texting nonstop.
229
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,536
(Laughs)
230
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,238
You are bad.
231
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,074
You're bad. What did she say?
232
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,076
Oh. No, it's actually something I said.
233
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,414
Guys, we need to form a ground-floor
basketball team A.S.A.P.
234
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:50,982
Derrick and I need a third.
235
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,220
Harvard, how would you like to stick
it to those upstairs douches?
236
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:56,354
Jenny!
237
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:01,126
I'm now in a relationship with
one of those upstairs douches,
238
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,395
as you so coarsely refer to them.
239
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,096
U-uh...
240
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,599
Besides, who would want to directly compete
241
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,634
with someone they are
in a relationship with?
242
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,370
It's a lose/lose.
243
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,972
You could just say "no."
244
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,176
Oh, hey, Lindsay. Did you, uh, get my text?
245
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:22,447
(Chuckles) Yes, I am 12 pages
in, and it's still downloading.
246
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,249
The second half is even better.
247
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,952
How could you possibly
have anything more to say?
248
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:32,190
You talked at me nonstop for four hours.
249
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,460
Look, your book does sound incredible.
250
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:41,232
Uh, but this was a bad idea. I'm sorry.
251
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,003
Aww, you okay?
252
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,006
Let's crush those upstairs douches.
253
00:11:49,356 --> 00:11:51,276
(Cheers and applause)
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!
254
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,312
Kevin! Mr. Moyer! Mr. Moyer!
255
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,680
(Grunts)
256
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,484
Game!
257
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,618
Mr. Wen!
258
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:05,724
They call him the bus driver because
he just took you to school!
259
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,026
Ahh! Thataboy! Great job.
260
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,394
By the way, I was looking
at the fee structure,
261
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,162
and I feel like there's
a real opportunity...
262
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,098
(whistles) Head in the
game, kev-o. Head in the game.
263
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:16,601
Who wants us next, baby?
264
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,304
(Hip-hop music plays)
265
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,411
Hey, guys. Actually, let's walk faster.
266
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,580
I think they're waiting for us.
267
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,615
I can't walk much faster in these shorts.
268
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,050
Why would you wear those?
269
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,985
It's from the last time I played.
270
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,187
Seventh-grade uniform, and it still fits.
271
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:40,191
Okay, first, you look adorable.
272
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,628
Second, if I'm playing against you,
I'm not gonna show you any mercy.
273
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,630
First, you look super cute, too.
274
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,765
Thank you.
275
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:51,302
Second, bring it on, bitch.
276
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:58,610
Well, look who came to watch me play.
277
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:03,581
Actually, I came here to work because
the stench of sweaty men and gym socks
278
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,751
smells like cinnabon
compared to my desk right now.
279
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,087
All right. Who wants to shoot for outs?
280
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,522
I'll do it.
281
00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:11,756
All right.
282
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:15,226
Our ball.
283
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,095
That's impressive. You're damn right.
284
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,763
I almost got a college scholarship.
285
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,198
Well, I'm not surprised.
286
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,100
You remind me of a... a young Lisa Leslie.
287
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,768
That's her name!
288
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:28,139
You are going down.
289
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,274
Uh, your nuts.
290
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,509
Yeah. Damn right. I'm crazy.
291
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,646
No, bearded one. I can see your testicles.
292
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,049
All right, all right. Let's
do this, suckers. Come on.
293
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,551
I really want to kiss you right now.
294
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:41,686
Not going to. Not going
to. No. Absolutely do not.
295
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,255
Pass! Pass! Pass!
296
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,826
Thataboy!
297
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:50,428
Wait a minute! Wai...
ah, time-out! Time-out!
298
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,297
What?! There's no
time-outs in three-on-three.
299
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,332
(High-pitched voice) What?
There's also no whining.
300
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,334
(Normal voice) Okay, you
guys. We need a strategy.
301
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,702
Derrick, what can you do?
302
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,370
I can fall down.
303
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,839
Okay. Great. Draw some fouls.
Harvard, what do you got?
304
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,373
Unbridled rage.
305
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,809
And right now, this wedgie is feeding it.
306
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,311
Awesome. Use that.
307
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,712
What are we gonna do about groot?
308
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:11,482
I'll take care of him.
309
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,484
Hey! Mr. Mansfield!
310
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:17,222
I'm kind of surprised you feel
okay about having to cheat to win.
311
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,624
I beg your pardon?! Okay. Time-out.
312
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,092
What are you doing?
313
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:24,829
I do the paperwork for the temps, I
just think it's kind of interesting
314
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:29,300
that you hired someone to do data
entry that used to be an nba player.
315
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,469
Hey! I minored in business.
316
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,339
By the way, your bond
exposure is dangerously...
317
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:38,176
kev, no one cares. Ride the pine.
318
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,345
Mr. wen, you're in.
319
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,513
Uh...
320
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,215
I don't know how to play.
321
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,850
What?! You told Mansfield you were great.
322
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,219
I said I was great at b-ball.
323
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,189
The "b" stands for
boccie, and I'm just okay.
324
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,191
(Whistles) Mr. Moyer!
325
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,526
Bring it in. Look for me down low.
326
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:58,763
Pick it up. Mm-hmm.
327
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,465
(Cheers and applause)
328
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,735
Yeah!
329
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,169
Ow! That was a foul!
330
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,738
Foul?! What are you talking about?
331
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,206
There's no fouls in my game.
332
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:12,510
Jenny, go ahead and order an
ambulance for a one Mr. Mansfield.
333
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,279
Oh, I will man-slap your beard
334
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,748
all the way back to the
mountain that spawned you.
335
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:21,252
Oh, you are... Made out of cement.
336
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,255
Excuse me.
337
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:29,727
Whoo! Threepeat, insult for milady?
338
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:34,732
It must not be Sunday,
'cause the bank is open!
339
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,001
Oh, my God.
340
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,670
(Squealing)
341
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,805
(Gasps) (Groans)
342
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,741
Jumanji!
343
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,009
(Laughs) Get out of here!
344
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:47,278
Ohh, God, man!
345
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,281
Who's that guy guarding Mr. Mansfield?
346
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,450
'Cause he's kind of a maniac.
347
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,151
I know, right?
348
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:57,922
He is wearing those shorts.
349
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,293
I'm not open. I'm not open.
350
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,462
Foul!
351
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,304
Threepeat, smack.
352
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:17,174
Your girl must love kfc,
'cause she just got a bucket.
353
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:20,177
We're on the same team, man. My bad, dude.
354
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,179
Mr. Moyer! Here! I'm open!
355
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,114
Like hell you are!
356
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:29,820
Yes, 10-all. Next point wins.
357
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,922
All right. Ball in. No
check. Let's do this.
358
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,257
I'm not gonna let you score.
359
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,792
Well, you're not gonna
be able to stop me, okay?
360
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,827
This is the move that made me famous.
361
00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:44,134
Oh, yeah! In your... knee.
362
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,470
What in the hell are you doing, Moyer?!
363
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,038
That's your girlfriend.
364
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:01,986
Hey, great game out there.
365
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,320
Well, I didn't invent it.
366
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,222
I, uh, just perfected it.
367
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,526
Hold up. Okay.
368
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,061
You know how they say there's
a lot of fish in the sea?
369
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,397
Well, that's not true for you, okay?
370
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,933
You're a lone jellyfish
in a weird-ass pond.
371
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,936
Luckily for you, another
jellyfish stumbled in there.
372
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,539
Do not ignore that jellyfish.
373
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:25,242
Okay, first of all,
jellyfish aren't real fish.
374
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:29,914
And the idea that they would be
found in freshwater is comical.
375
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,382
(Laughs) Yeah.
376
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,517
See, now talk that crazy
shit with each other.
377
00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:39,790
So, you liked watching me play out there?
378
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,792
Yeah. You showed a lot of balls.
379
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,160
Sorry about that.
380
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:46,096
No, I mean that you're fearless.
381
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:49,133
I literally get farted on all day,
382
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,468
and I could never stand
up for myself like that.
383
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,537
You just have to act like you
don't care what people think.
384
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,172
How do you do that?
385
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:57,041
Well, I don't care what people think.
386
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,343
I mean... Except for you.
387
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,878
(Chuckles)
388
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,980
Okay, maybe we could go out again,
389
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,816
but you have to promise
to let me get a word in.
390
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,451
Okay. I know what you mean.
391
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:11,088
There's this guy in my society
for creative anachronism group.
392
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,024
He dresses like Ben Franklin,
but he wears a digital watch.
393
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,026
And the whole time, he's
claiming that he discovered...
394
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,429
mm-mm-mm-mm.
395
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:23,167
...electricity.
396
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,307
Got some more ice.
397
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,409
Again, I'm so sorry I took that shot.
398
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,178
I had no idea you were hurt.
399
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,180
That's fine, babe. I would
have done the same thing.
400
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,848
In fact, if you'd help me up right now,
401
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,516
I'd love to kick your
ass in one-on-one.
402
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,885
What is wrong with you?
403
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,188
I don't know. I don't know.
404
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,858
I guess basketball just, like, brings
up a lot of stuff for me, you know?
405
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,194
Hmm. I was so close to going to college.
406
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,929
I was so close.
407
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:56,600
I guess it just bothers me
more than I'd like to admit.
408
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,502
Well, you can still go to college.
409
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,070
On a ground-floor salary?
410
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,206
Babe, there's no way I
could pay off that loan.
411
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,941
Yeah, not to mention the interest.
412
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:08,078
Well, I mean, I'm interested.
I just... (Sighs)
413
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,921
I just don't think it's
in the cards right now.
414
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:15,185
If it's any consolation,
college wasn't that great.
415
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,888
It was amazing, wasn't
it? Best time of my life.
416
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,890
Fair Harvard, we thrive...
417
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,225
Baby, that's hurting my knee.
418
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,559
That's hurting my knee. What? The vibrato?
419
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:23,661
Yeah.
420
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,900
Hey, Mr. Mansfield. You wanted to see me?
421
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,336
Ah, miss Miller. Please,
won't you come join me?
422
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,937
Oh, wow.
423
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:36,607
I've never been up here
before. This is awesome.
424
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,175
Oh, look.
425
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,643
You'd have a great view
of the Golden Gate Bridge
426
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,578
if you could just move that building.
427
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,014
Don't think I haven't tried.
428
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,419
Would you have a seat?
429
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,555
You, uh... you played one hell
of a basketball game yesterday.
430
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:55,626
You know, in a way, we're all
winners just for participating.
431
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:59,496
But in a much realer
way, you lost and I won.
432
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,731
(Both chuckle)
433
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,268
I wanted to give you this check.
434
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:07,271
Oh, my God! Is this for second place?
435
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,473
Why would you get a prize for losing?
436
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:14,044
No, I-I want you to think of that as
a, uh... as a basketball scholarship.
437
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,347
So if you want to take classes
at any of the local colleges,
438
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:22,052
on your time, not mine, well, then... I
would be more than glad to pay for it.
439
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:27,291
Oh, my God. Sir, I... I really
can't believe how nice that is.
440
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:30,694
No. There will be no tears on my balcony.
441
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,129
I'm sorry, sir.
442
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,597
It's just that, you know, I had a dad
443
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:37,034
and I had three stepdads,
but I never had a real father.
444
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,203
(Crying) Oh, you didn't have to go there.
445
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:47,377
I'm telling you, with these boxer
briefs, I got a full range of motion.
446
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:52,182
Hey. Did you say something to Mansfield?
447
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:55,319
I have said many things to Mansfield.
448
00:20:59,657 --> 00:21:02,726
Yeah. So lucky I don't have a girlfriend.
449
00:21:02,776 --> 00:21:07,326
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