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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:03,639 --> 00:00:06,241
"Hi, I'm Riley Matthews,
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00:00:06,243 --> 00:00:09,378
and these are your John Quincy Adams
middle school morning announcements."
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00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,445
Why are you even rehearsing?
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00:00:10,447 --> 00:00:12,914
I'm going to get it perfect this time.
6
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:14,316
And you're on.
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00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:19,454
Hewo, I'm Miley Flatshoes and these
are your flurning amousenits.
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00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:23,925
Today's lunch in the
cafamatorium will be hot males.
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00:00:23,927 --> 00:00:25,394
(Laughing)
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00:00:25,396 --> 00:00:28,497
Hot tamales... I'm hoping.
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00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,433
Hello, news lady!
12
00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:34,302
- Carpool!
- Far... carpool?! (Laughing)
13
00:00:34,304 --> 00:00:36,371
And here's your Farkle science moment.
14
00:00:37,974 --> 00:00:41,476
The Junior Entomology Society has once
again nominated me for a Buggie Award
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00:00:41,478 --> 00:00:44,246
for my research paper on
the orange dancing spider.
16
00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:45,624
Congrats, Dr. Farklestein.
17
00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:48,483
- I hope this is your year.
- Oh, I never win.
18
00:00:48,485 --> 00:00:53,488
Awesome. Wish I could go, but I don't wanna
and I'm sure tickets are impossible.
19
00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,258
- I have two.
- Then I just don't wanna.
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00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:58,994
Awesome. Which one of you
will be Farkle's choice?
21
00:00:58,996 --> 00:01:00,962
I'm telling the world.
Farkle must finally choose
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00:01:00,964 --> 00:01:03,498
between his sweet angel whose
smile lights a path to goodness
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00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,903
or my dark demon who unleashes
in me something so terrifying
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00:01:07,905 --> 00:01:09,905
I really wanna know what it is.
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00:01:09,907 --> 00:01:14,476
Thanks, and I'm not gonna be
there when you find out, Carpool.
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00:01:14,478 --> 00:01:17,412
- And there it is, John Quinciatti.
- (Laughing)
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00:01:17,414 --> 00:01:21,316
Flankle juices bequeen yama and symelf.
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Yama?
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00:01:25,321 --> 00:01:27,556
(Pop music playing)
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I've been waiting
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for a day
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00:01:35,032 --> 00:01:36,031
like this to come
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struck like lightning
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my heart's beating like a drum
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on the edge
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of something wonderful
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00:01:44,341 --> 00:01:47,309
face to face with changes
38
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what's it all about?
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00:01:48,479 --> 00:01:50,378
Life is crazy
40
00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,414
but I know I can work it out
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00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,949
'cause I got you
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00:01:53,951 --> 00:01:56,485
to live it with me
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00:01:56,487 --> 00:02:00,956
I feel all right, I'm
gonna take on the world
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00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:04,292
light up the stars, I've
got some pages to turn
45
00:02:04,294 --> 00:02:06,428
I'm singing
"go-o-o"
46
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:09,064
oh oh oh oh
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00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:12,067
take on the world, take on the world
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00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:14,503
take on the world, take on the world
49
00:02:14,505 --> 00:02:18,006
take on the world,
take on the world.
50
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:21,409
(School bell rings)
51
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:25,013
Who's the greatest ally
of the United States?
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00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:26,448
Farkle?
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00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:29,050
I'd like to help you, sir, but
I got a lot of things on my mind.
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00:02:30,086 --> 00:02:32,320
Are you tense, Farkle?
55
00:02:32,322 --> 00:02:33,455
Is it Buggie Award season?
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00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,390
Yes, and I know that once I've chosen
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00:02:35,392 --> 00:02:38,360
between Riley and Maya for the dinner,
I'll actually be letting the other one go.
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00:02:38,362 --> 00:02:39,561
I'll go. I'll go right now.
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00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:45,100
I think it will be sad when Farkle
doesn't love us both the same.
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00:02:45,102 --> 00:02:47,002
Yes, one of you will be crushed.
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00:02:47,004 --> 00:02:50,972
You will, however, receive the Farkle
home game as a consolation prize.
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00:02:50,974 --> 00:02:51,858
Ooh, what's that?
63
00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:57,512
It's this game where the loser
goes, (mimics sobbing) "Farkle."
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00:02:57,514 --> 00:03:00,348
So who is the greatest
ally of the United States?
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00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,417
- Ask Farkle.
- (Sighs)
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00:03:04,086 --> 00:03:06,421
Canada. You want me to say Canada.
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00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:09,124
You want to explain why or
do I have to do everything?
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00:03:10,927 --> 00:03:13,428
Everything. You love that.
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00:03:14,952 --> 00:03:17,032
Look, I really want one of
you at the Buggies with me
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00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:19,434
to pick me up when I lose
again to my archnemesis Smackle.
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(Chuckles) Smackle? What kind of parents
name their kid "Smackle," Farkle? Oh.
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00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:27,475
It's just interesting
that all of our thoughts
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00:03:27,477 --> 00:03:31,413
turn to other allies first when
Canada is right next to us.
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00:03:31,415 --> 00:03:34,983
Perhaps it's because we know
they'll always be there for us
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00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:37,085
that we take them for granted.
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00:03:37,087 --> 00:03:41,504
Farkle, I'm going to make the ultimate
sacrifice and let you go with Riley.
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00:03:41,535 --> 00:03:45,460
Yeah, well, I'm going to make the ultimate
sacrifice and let you go with Maya.
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00:03:45,462 --> 00:03:47,162
I decide! You hear me?
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This game is Farkle's choice.
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00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:53,501
Prepare to go through the
emotional gauntlet of love.
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00:03:54,403 --> 00:03:56,071
Both: Okay.
82
00:04:01,077 --> 00:04:04,946
Judy, I'm so glad you were able
to join our little book club.
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00:04:04,948 --> 00:04:07,115
Auggie is such a fan of your daughter Ava.
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00:04:07,117 --> 00:04:09,951
- (British accent) Oh well, who isn't?
- (Mouths)
85
00:04:09,953 --> 00:04:13,088
And I must say, what a
surprisingly decent idea, Topanga.
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00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:16,057
I think a book club is
such a wonderful forum
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00:04:16,059 --> 00:04:19,127
to exchange ideas and
intellectual conversation.
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00:04:20,429 --> 00:04:22,063
Judy, are you British?
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00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:24,499
No, I'm just better than everyone else.
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00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,102
Wow. (Chuckles)
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00:04:27,104 --> 00:04:30,038
Well, I see where your
daughter gets her confidence.
92
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,575
Oh, and Auggie is such a
lovely little girl as well.
93
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:39,047
- Auggie is a boy.
- Oh.
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00:04:39,049 --> 00:04:41,016
I've never really looked at her. (Giggles)
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00:04:42,451 --> 00:04:48,123
Ucch. Okay, everyone, I hope
we all enjoyed our first book,
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"Murray the marvelous moose."
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- So who would like to start?
- Ava.
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(Mutters) Oh boy.
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00:04:53,497 --> 00:04:57,032
Murray the moose discovers his self-worth
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00:04:57,034 --> 00:05:02,003
in a world constantly
challenging his sense of...
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00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:04,606
- (Mimics cough) Identity.
- (Mimics cough) ...Identity.
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00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:10,178
Mmm. An interesting and I'm sure
well-rehearsed interpretation.
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00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:12,247
(Mimics polite cough)
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00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:13,427
What are you implying?
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00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:16,081
(British accent) I'm
not implying anything.
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00:05:17,086 --> 00:05:19,187
(Normal voice) I'm saying
it right in your face.
107
00:05:20,523 --> 00:05:23,491
So who has a different take?
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00:05:23,493 --> 00:05:27,128
- Auggie?
- I ated one of the pages.
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00:05:28,097 --> 00:05:30,565
I'm not with him for his brains.
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00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:34,202
- Check out that tush.
- Oh!
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00:05:35,504 --> 00:05:38,573
- Ava!
- I'm okay with it, mom.
112
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:43,511
All right, Ava, would you like
to read an excerpt from the book?
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"One day, Murray the moose woke up and
didn't want to be a moose anymore."
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00:05:49,108 --> 00:05:51,252
So good. So good. That
was really very good.
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00:05:51,254 --> 00:05:53,121
Yes. Now, Auggie, it's your turn.
116
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:55,290
I like it better when
you read to me, mommy.
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00:05:55,292 --> 00:05:57,125
Aren't you a little old for that?
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00:05:57,127 --> 00:05:59,327
- Am I, mommy?
- (Emphatically) No.
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00:05:59,329 --> 00:06:01,196
It's all right, Topanga.
120
00:06:01,198 --> 00:06:05,300
It's a scientifically-proven fact
that boys develop at a different pace.
121
00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:18,079
Thank you for my smoothie.
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00:06:18,081 --> 00:06:20,215
Extra thick so you can eat it with a spoon.
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00:06:20,217 --> 00:06:22,984
You know me very well. (Giggles)
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00:06:22,986 --> 00:06:25,086
That giggle is my favorite
sound in the world.
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00:06:25,088 --> 00:06:27,222
I know I've told you I've
loved you since the first grade,
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00:06:27,224 --> 00:06:29,157
but I don't think I've ever told you why.
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00:06:29,159 --> 00:06:31,126
- Farkle...
- Hold that thought.
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00:06:32,161 --> 00:06:34,996
Have a little pretzel
with your mustard, Maya.
129
00:06:34,998 --> 00:06:36,297
I know how you like it.
130
00:06:36,299 --> 00:06:38,967
I'm eating this, then I'm leaving.
131
00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:41,035
My eighth birthday party.
132
00:06:42,238 --> 00:06:44,072
Don't remember it at all.
133
00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:46,574
Bing!
134
00:06:48,244 --> 00:06:49,249
You kept this?
135
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,981
You tried to do a kick-flip
off the park bench.
136
00:06:52,983 --> 00:06:55,216
You were not ready for those moves.
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00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:57,185
Still got the scar.
138
00:06:57,187 --> 00:07:00,088
It was the only time
I've ever seen you cry.
139
00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,190
Why did you keep this?
140
00:07:02,192 --> 00:07:05,293
It was the only time
I've ever seen you cry.
141
00:07:05,295 --> 00:07:07,362
Farkle.
142
00:07:07,364 --> 00:07:11,032
Have you been seeing someone else?
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00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:11,937
There's only you.
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00:07:11,968 --> 00:07:14,169
Don't think it's going to be so easy
145
00:07:14,171 --> 00:07:16,337
to get me all emotional
over some little object
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00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:18,173
that shoots me down memory lane.
147
00:07:18,175 --> 00:07:21,042
- Bing.
- Hazel the hippo.
148
00:07:21,044 --> 00:07:23,011
You're alive!
149
00:07:23,013 --> 00:07:27,248
You gave me this when you sat with me in
the hospital when I had my tonsils out.
150
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:31,252
I lost her and never had
the heart to tell you.
151
00:07:31,254 --> 00:07:32,439
How did you know?
152
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:37,158
I bought two of them, you know, just
in case, you lost the one I gave you.
153
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,194
Thank you, Farkle.
154
00:07:40,296 --> 00:07:42,330
Thank you, Farkle.
155
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,301
Girls: Are you speed-dating us?
156
00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:48,136
Welcome to what's going on!
157
00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:51,809
As you know, being nominated for a
Buggie is the highlight of my life.
158
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,041
We realize that.
159
00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:55,310
I wanna share my happiness
with someone special if I win,
160
00:07:55,312 --> 00:07:58,079
and if I lose, I want someone
who cares about me to be there.
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00:07:58,081 --> 00:08:00,181
So I wanna make sure I
make the right choice.
162
00:08:00,183 --> 00:08:02,083
Thank you for a lovely evening.
163
00:08:03,018 --> 00:08:05,119
Wow. He's paying the bill.
164
00:08:05,121 --> 00:08:06,387
I should've eaten more.
165
00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:11,125
Hey, yo, you still hungry?
166
00:08:11,127 --> 00:08:14,229
'Cause we're gonna get some
pizza, so we're thinking...
167
00:08:14,231 --> 00:08:16,064
Stop thinking. It's not you.
168
00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:18,366
What's she mean by that?
169
00:08:18,368 --> 00:08:21,269
What my brother Sheldon doesn't understand
170
00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:24,239
is that because of our demeanor, you
think that we're a couple of oafs.
171
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:27,275
- Is this true?
- I'm afraid so, Sheldon.
172
00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:30,411
- Oafs?!
- We are sorry to hear that.
173
00:08:32,014 --> 00:08:34,082
What's the other one think, Cisco?
174
00:08:34,084 --> 00:08:35,416
You should find out by asking.
175
00:08:37,353 --> 00:08:39,053
What do you think...
176
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,355
Other one?
177
00:08:40,357 --> 00:08:42,190
I think you're way too close.
178
00:08:42,192 --> 00:08:44,259
And what are you gonna do about that?
179
00:08:46,128 --> 00:08:49,097
I may not look so tough,
and I don't say "yo,"
180
00:08:49,099 --> 00:08:52,333
but I'm insane when it comes to these two,
181
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:55,270
so what you're gonna do is run
down the platform screaming
182
00:08:55,272 --> 00:08:57,272
until you reach Broadway.
183
00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:59,307
I just don't see us
screaming until Broadway.
184
00:08:59,309 --> 00:09:02,043
Who do you think you are anyway?
185
00:09:02,045 --> 00:09:03,444
Oh, me?
186
00:09:05,014 --> 00:09:06,281
(Boys scream)
187
00:09:10,085 --> 00:09:11,386
I'm Canada.
188
00:09:11,388 --> 00:09:14,122
A little taken for granted, but...
189
00:09:14,124 --> 00:09:15,356
I'm always there for you.
190
00:09:19,194 --> 00:09:22,997
You know what? I've
decided to go with Farkle.
191
00:09:22,999 --> 00:09:24,365
- You don't have to. I'm going.
- I said I'm going.
192
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:27,201
- I will mess you up.
- Then I will clean me up. Ha!
193
00:09:27,203 --> 00:09:29,003
Riley, what are we doing?
194
00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:30,405
Are we really fighting over Farkle?
195
00:09:33,175 --> 00:09:35,343
Yeah, and I'm gonna win.
196
00:09:36,312 --> 00:09:38,313
It's on, Matthews.
197
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:51,025
So did you text him last night?
198
00:09:51,027 --> 00:09:52,360
No. We agreed not to.
199
00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:55,229
Farkle's choice, remember?
200
00:09:55,231 --> 00:09:57,298
- Did you video chat?
- Absolutely not.
201
00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,168
We agreed to do nothing to influence him.
202
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:01,436
That's the deal.
203
00:10:02,371 --> 00:10:04,439
- Ladies.
- Both: Farkle.
204
00:10:06,008 --> 00:10:07,108
Thanks for the text, Maya.
205
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:09,077
I enjoyed the video chat, Riley.
206
00:10:12,047 --> 00:10:15,283
But I'm gonna need some time to
myself to make this difficult choice.
207
00:10:15,285 --> 00:10:17,348
And Maya and I agreed
we would do nothing...
208
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:18,219
(Locker opens)
209
00:10:18,221 --> 00:10:20,490
...to influence your decision.
210
00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:21,322
Yeah.
211
00:10:21,324 --> 00:10:23,358
- Lookie what I found.
- (Gasps)
212
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,461
- You forgot to scream.
- Thank you. (Screaming)
213
00:10:28,297 --> 00:10:30,198
An Arizona blonde tarantula.
214
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,067
- Well, of course.
- You can't do this, Maya!
215
00:10:33,069 --> 00:10:35,403
What I love about this species,
it's the perfect mate for...
216
00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:37,460
for my orange dancing spider.
217
00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:38,239
Yeah.
218
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:41,175
This is completely unfair.
219
00:10:41,177 --> 00:10:44,949
Look at these two. So vastly different
and yet so wonderful together.
220
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,247
Well, of course.
221
00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:47,715
- They seem to really...
- (Crunches)
222
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,217
- She bit his head off!
- Oh my heaven!
223
00:10:49,219 --> 00:10:52,053
- (Kids scream)
- She bit his head off!
224
00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:54,122
Just like our lives are gonna be together.
225
00:10:55,324 --> 00:11:00,328
No. Maya is not the only
one who likes spiders, okay?
226
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:03,164
- I happen to love them too.
- Really?
227
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:05,048
Then you would have no
problem if I put this
228
00:11:05,079 --> 00:11:07,056
spider on your head and
you wore it like a hat?
229
00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:08,399
A hat, you say?
230
00:11:15,244 --> 00:11:17,345
I know this is out of
your comfort zone, Riley.
231
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:19,180
I'm really impressed
you would do this for me.
232
00:11:19,182 --> 00:11:22,250
Yeah, I still can't decide who
I'm bringing to the Buggies.
233
00:11:22,252 --> 00:11:24,252
- You're both still even.
- (Sighs)
234
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:29,023
Hi, dad, this spider is
laying her eggs in my brain.
235
00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:30,258
Yeah, okay.
236
00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:41,369
"Murray the moose realized it is
much better to be who you are
237
00:11:41,371 --> 00:11:43,371
than to pretend to be somebody else,
238
00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:46,374
even if your fake British
mother wants you to be."
239
00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:48,176
Where does it say that?
240
00:11:48,178 --> 00:11:49,584
It doesn't say that in mine.
241
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:54,182
Mm, yes. Well, perhaps you're not the
only one with a well-rehearsed child.
242
00:11:55,384 --> 00:11:58,352
I still like it better
when you read to me, mommy.
243
00:11:58,354 --> 00:12:02,156
Why? My mommy never reads to me.
244
00:12:02,158 --> 00:12:04,192
She says it makes me weak.
245
00:12:04,194 --> 00:12:05,259
Oh.
246
00:12:06,195 --> 00:12:10,164
So then who acts out the parts and
does the voices and makes it fun?
247
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:11,332
You can do that?
248
00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:15,103
Well, let's see. Cory?
249
00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:18,239
Cory?
250
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,308
Oh. Yeah, right.
251
00:12:21,343 --> 00:12:24,312
"One day, Murray the moose said"...
252
00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:26,380
(Deep voice) "I'm tired of being a moose."
253
00:12:26,382 --> 00:12:28,082
(Kids laughing)
254
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:33,254
"I wanna be a porpoise, like you,
Penelope, and swim in the sea."
255
00:12:33,256 --> 00:12:36,324
(High-pitched) "But, Murray,
do you even know how to swim?"
256
00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:38,359
"Let's find out!"
257
00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:41,395
- Sploosh! "Oh!"
- "Ooh!"
258
00:12:41,397 --> 00:12:44,132
"Help me! Help me, Penelope!"
259
00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:47,301
"Okay, I will gather
all of my ocean friends.
260
00:12:47,303 --> 00:12:51,105
Come on, ocean friends, help save Murray!"
261
00:12:51,107 --> 00:12:55,243
"And all of the ocean friends
worked together and saved Murray.
262
00:12:55,245 --> 00:13:00,248
And Penelope said, 'oh, Murray,
we love you for who you are!'"
263
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,250
- I love you, Murray.
- (Chuckles)
264
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:04,218
- Sorry, mommy.
- Oh!
265
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,220
I love you too, Murray!
266
00:13:06,222 --> 00:13:08,222
(Grunting)
267
00:13:08,224 --> 00:13:11,292
Primitives. Look at
the time. Ava, let's go.
268
00:13:12,394 --> 00:13:16,063
I like it when Topanga throws me out.
269
00:13:16,065 --> 00:13:19,267
- Excuse me?
- Oh, me too.
270
00:13:19,269 --> 00:13:23,137
- (Judy gasps)
- Topanga and Ava: Whee!
271
00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:25,373
- (Ava giggles)
- Ah.
272
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,408
- (Deep voice) Get out.
- (Judy gasps)
273
00:13:29,244 --> 00:13:32,246
- (Exhales sharply)
- Slam the door!
274
00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:34,148
Sla... (Gasps)
275
00:13:35,117 --> 00:13:39,387
"And then Murray decided he
wanted to be a penguin."
276
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:42,190
-
Doo da, doo da, doo da, doo!
- (Kids laughing)
277
00:13:42,192 --> 00:13:44,192
Doo da, doo da, doo da, doo!
278
00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:46,427
Best book club ever.
279
00:13:53,068 --> 00:13:55,169
Thanks for coming over
right before your big night.
280
00:13:55,171 --> 00:13:58,206
This bay window is very
special to me, Farkle,
281
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:01,142
and I enjoy sharing it with
people who are special to me...
282
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,377
- Like you.
- Thank you.
283
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:06,113
I feel like I'm sitting on sacred ground.
284
00:14:06,115 --> 00:14:09,217
I mean, this is where you and Maya
share so many moments together.
285
00:14:09,219 --> 00:14:12,286
(Sighs) Tee-hee-hee-hee-tee.
286
00:14:12,288 --> 00:14:14,055
There's that giggle I love.
287
00:14:14,057 --> 00:14:16,390
What made you laugh in that weird fake way?
288
00:14:16,392 --> 00:14:19,360
Well, I was just picturing
you at this dinner with Maya.
289
00:14:19,362 --> 00:14:22,196
I mean, you guys so don't belong together.
290
00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:24,265
- You don't think we do?
- Not at all.
291
00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:28,302
- Do you think we do?
- I don't know.
292
00:14:29,238 --> 00:14:31,405
- Do you?
- (Thuds)
293
00:14:33,408 --> 00:14:35,343
Ignore that big bird.
294
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:38,079
My bay window!
295
00:14:38,081 --> 00:14:40,281
Locked! Ha. Locked.
296
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:44,285
How did you do that?
297
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,355
You tried to lock me out of your room?
298
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:47,944
Not cool.
299
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:50,291
You're interrupting my
alone time with Farkle?
300
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:52,326
- Not cool!
- You're actually fighting over me?!
301
00:14:52,328 --> 00:14:54,362
Cool!
302
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:57,331
Except you're fighting and it's my fault.
303
00:14:57,333 --> 00:15:01,202
Can either of you tell me why you'd even
want to go with me to the Buggie Awards?
304
00:15:03,058 --> 00:15:05,339
Yeah. Well, I can tell you
why I've always loved you both.
305
00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:08,142
I can't think of one of you
without thinking of both of you.
306
00:15:09,111 --> 00:15:11,145
I withdraw my offer.
307
00:15:15,284 --> 00:15:18,252
I'd rather go alone than
hurt my two best friends.
308
00:15:18,254 --> 00:15:20,154
That's my choice.
309
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:25,493
Not cool.
310
00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:32,266
Announcer: Live...
311
00:15:32,268 --> 00:15:35,102
From the fabulous chanticleer
hotel of weehawken,
312
00:15:35,104 --> 00:15:39,173
it's the 67th annual Buggie awards!
313
00:15:39,175 --> 00:15:44,445
And now your host, Miss Jane Lynch!
314
00:15:47,382 --> 00:15:49,150
Ha ha, the Buggies.
315
00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:52,186
- Yup, I'll host anything.
- (Laughter)
316
00:15:52,188 --> 00:15:54,388
Oh, look at this crowd. My goodness.
317
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:57,158
Jennifer Lawrence, Leo DiCaprio...
318
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,459
Not here.
319
00:15:58,461 --> 00:16:01,162
But look who is here, we've got Milton.
320
00:16:01,164 --> 00:16:05,232
Hey, kid. And of course Smackle!
321
00:16:05,234 --> 00:16:08,235
- You.
- No no, you, lady. (Chuckles)
322
00:16:08,237 --> 00:16:11,305
And where is our perennial hopeful?
323
00:16:11,307 --> 00:16:12,196
Oh, there he is.
324
00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:15,309
Well, I am hoping this is your year, kid.
325
00:16:15,311 --> 00:16:17,878
'Cause I love ya, Farkle.
326
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,147
Giant lady.
327
00:16:20,149 --> 00:16:22,383
(Laughs) All right.
328
00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:25,386
Let's get to our first
award of the evening.
329
00:16:25,388 --> 00:16:28,389
Here to present the Buggie
for best terrarium design,
330
00:16:28,391 --> 00:16:34,261
Liam Hemsworth and Anna
Kendrick's science teacher!
331
00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:44,438
- What is this feeling?
- Awfulness.
332
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,375
We're ruining the greatest
night of Farkle's life.
333
00:16:47,377 --> 00:16:50,244
We actually let him come between us.
334
00:16:50,246 --> 00:16:53,414
- We did.
- How could we ever fight about that?
335
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:56,217
Because he's great.
336
00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:58,986
- So great.
- (Sighs)
337
00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:04,191
For the rest of our lives, let's never
settle for anyone less than Farkle.
338
00:17:13,301 --> 00:17:17,505
Well, it's been a giggly
fun five hours, hasn't it?
339
00:17:19,207 --> 00:17:23,911
Before we get to our final Buggie
award this evening, umm...
340
00:17:23,913 --> 00:17:26,914
A tribute to those we've lost this year.
341
00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:28,482
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- (Music playing)
342
00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:30,251
...in memoriam.
343
00:17:32,387 --> 00:17:34,488
Swing low
344
00:17:34,490 --> 00:17:37,425
Sweet chariot
345
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:41,295
coming for to carry me home
346
00:17:41,297 --> 00:17:43,230
swing low
347
00:17:43,232 --> 00:17:46,333
sweet chariot
348
00:17:46,335 --> 00:17:49,937
coming for to carry me home
349
00:17:49,939 --> 00:17:52,339
I looked over Jordan
350
00:17:52,341 --> 00:17:55,242
And I what did I see
351
00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:59,013
coming for to carry me home?
352
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:01,982
A band of angels
353
00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:04,018
coming after me
354
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:08,322
coming for to carry me home.
355
00:18:08,324 --> 00:18:10,391
(Music stops)
356
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,995
- I'm gonna miss 'em.
- (Big-band music playing)
357
00:18:14,997 --> 00:18:17,031
Man: Okay, we're out.
Going to commercial.
358
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,467
- Farkle.
- Smackle.
359
00:18:19,469 --> 00:18:21,936
Well well, here we are once again.
360
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:24,271
Hope you didn't waste
your time writing a speech.
361
00:18:24,273 --> 00:18:26,273
You lack modesty, my archnemesis.
362
00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:29,343
And I see you lack a companion
for the evening, my archnemesis.
363
00:18:29,345 --> 00:18:31,312
Are you finally available?
364
00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:33,981
Not that I care.
365
00:18:33,983 --> 00:18:37,418
It looks as though I might
be, and I care very much.
366
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,988
(Sighs) It doesn't have
to be like this, Farkle.
367
00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:44,458
You and I can rule the world... together.
368
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,329
You and I? Smackle,
we're both evil geniuses.
369
00:18:48,331 --> 00:18:51,065
Science dictates that like forces repel.
370
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:59,002
Oh, my dear archnemesis, science does not
dictate emotion, not that I have any.
371
00:18:59,008 --> 00:19:00,374
Your theory intrigues me, Smackle.
372
00:19:00,376 --> 00:19:01,976
I've never looked at you in this way.
373
00:19:01,978 --> 00:19:03,377
I will do that now.
374
00:19:04,913 --> 00:19:07,915
No, repelled. I shall avert my eyes.
375
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:11,986
- Man: And we're back in three, two, one.
- (Music plays)
376
00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:18,989
I will now present the final award of the
evening for high achievement in research.
377
00:19:18,995 --> 00:19:24,064
And our two finalists are, once
again, Smackle of Einstein Academy.
378
00:19:26,935 --> 00:19:28,936
Hey, who's your date for
this evening, Smackle?
379
00:19:28,938 --> 00:19:30,971
Is that handsome gentleman your father?
380
00:19:30,973 --> 00:19:33,407
He's my Uncle. Daddy said no.
381
00:19:33,409 --> 00:19:35,342
Sure.
382
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:39,547
And of course, Farkle
from John Quincy Adams.
383
00:19:40,916 --> 00:19:43,417
Well, it looks like I am all alone now.
384
00:19:44,953 --> 00:19:47,121
Both: No, you're not.
385
00:19:49,457 --> 00:19:52,993
Whoa! Two of 'em, huh?
386
00:19:52,995 --> 00:19:55,396
Playa! (Chuckles)
387
00:19:55,398 --> 00:19:58,737
Okay, the National Junior
Entomology Society
388
00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:02,002
is pleased to award the
Golden Buggie to...
389
00:20:02,004 --> 00:20:04,138
(Drum roll)
390
00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:06,473
Smackle!
391
00:20:06,475 --> 00:20:08,542
(Applause, whistling)
392
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,416
Oh.
393
00:20:17,018 --> 00:20:20,421
This should be the
happiest moment of my life,
394
00:20:20,423 --> 00:20:24,458
except these girls of middling
intellect are interrupting it.
395
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,161
Oh, us? We're Canada.
396
00:20:27,163 --> 00:20:29,129
We're his greatest allies.
397
00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:30,464
He sits right next to us...
398
00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:32,566
And we'll never take him for granted again.
399
00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:36,437
Both:
o Canada
400
00:20:36,439 --> 00:20:39,940
We stand on guard
401
00:20:39,942 --> 00:20:43,444
For thee!
402
00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:48,482
O Canada
403
00:20:48,484 --> 00:20:50,150
We stand...
nah.
404
00:20:50,152 --> 00:20:52,519
(Laughs) Good night, everybody!
405
00:20:57,492 --> 00:21:00,261
Good Morton, John Quintaneros.
406
00:21:00,263 --> 00:21:02,963
It is me, Siley Cashews.
407
00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:05,432
What a leak it has been, right, yama?
408
00:21:07,936 --> 00:21:10,971
- Somebody has some sage trite.
- (Laughing)
409
00:21:10,973 --> 00:21:16,076
Any day, flanken may have lost his
boogies, but curtainly won far tarts.
410
00:21:22,217 --> 00:21:23,951
Unbelievable.
411
00:21:23,953 --> 00:21:26,220
I think they're prefect.
412
00:21:26,270 --> 00:21:30,820
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