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1
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,238
(PHONE RINGS)
2
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,673
Hiya.
3
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,318
Hiya. It's me. It's Stacey.
4
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,753
- I know.
- Oh, my God.
5
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,308
- How's it going? What's it like?
- I've literally just sat down.
6
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,197
I said goodbye to you 35 minutes ago.
7
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,952
Have you met anyone yet?
What are they like?
8
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,678
Oh, my God.
Are there girls everywhere?
9
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,354
- They'll be all over you.
- Don't be silly.
10
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,998
It's just new territory
for me, babes.
11
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,071
I'm failing to establish
my emotional boundaries,
12
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,549
allowing my latent insecurities
to manifest themselves...
13
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,791
Babe, you have got to stop reading
Psychologies magazine.
14
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,031
I know. I sound like a knob.
It's just sometimes...
15
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,554
Stace, I've been at work
for 1 1 minutes.
16
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,198
I promise I'll call you at lunch, OK?
17
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,113
- OK. I love you.
- I love you too.
18
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,595
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
19
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,592
Gavin. Huw Davies.
Welcome to Cardiff.
20
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,318
Mr Davies, good to see you again.
21
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,913
Please, call me Huw.
22
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,991
Now, is this your first office
of your own?
23
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,798
- Yeah, it is.
- Excellent news.
24
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,030
I tell you what - call Maintenance
25
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,395
and get them to stick
this on your door.
26
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,879
It's a big moment.
27
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,871
Oh, cheers. Thanks.
28
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,872
Now, I'll take you round in a bit,
show you what's what and who's who.
29
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,359
Did you get your welcome pack?
30
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,908
- Uh, yeah, I think so.
- Excellent news.
31
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,150
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Get that. Could be important.
32
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,470
Phone system - real easy.
33
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,357
Boom, boom.
34
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,317
And then...line one.
35
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,355
Go.
36
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,237
Uh, Gavin Shipman.
37
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,312
- PAM: Hello, my little prince.
- Hiya. Look, um...
38
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,834
How's it going, darling?
Are people being nice to you?
39
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,115
- I can't really talk right now.
- Oh, my God.
40
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,919
They're victimising you.
You are the victim of a victimisation.
41
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,718
Gavin, get out. Run home now.
42
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,756
Mum, everything's fine.
...It's my mother.
43
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,637
- Oh.
- I'm just with my new boss.
44
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,995
Oh, my Christ!
What's he like? Is he bald?
45
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,640
What? No. Look, I'll call you
at lunch or after work.
46
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,119
When it's not on the company's time.
47
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,475
All right. Well, call me on the...
48
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,471
- Sorry about that.
- Hey, listen.
49
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,790
Everyone has to take a personal call
once in a while.
50
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,393
And when it's family, it's family.
51
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,677
Now, your fire regs
and what have you - very simple.
52
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,671
In the event of a fire,
my motto is...
53
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,557
- ''Run for your life''?
- No.
54
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,358
''Go to your nearest assembly point.''
55
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,998
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Right.
56
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,992
You're on your own with this one.
Go for it.
57
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,913
- Line one. Mm.
- Hello. Gavin Shipman.
58
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,399
- MICK: You all right, mate?
- My dad.
59
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,471
Dad, I'm actually with my boss.
60
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,630
Oh, apologies. Say no more.
Call me later.
61
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,675
Cheers. See ya.
62
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:51,795
I'm so sorry about that.
63
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,996
It's just, you know, with
the move down here and that...
64
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,513
Listen. I completely understand.
65
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,318
And a family phone call
once in a while,
66
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,119
from a relative
or relation, is, uh...
67
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,589
Now, chain of command on this floor.
68
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,468
It's Joyce, then Terry, then Owain.
69
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,835
- Gavin Shipman.
- SMITHY: Gavlarrr!
70
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,115
Right, ready when you are.
Excellent news. OK.
71
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,599
Let's show you round.
72
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,592
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
73
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,635
I'm just gonna leave that there.
74
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,716
(NEIL CRIES ON MONITOR)
75
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,678
Oh. Neil.
76
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,316
It's me, Vanessa. Your mother.
77
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,152
(NEIL GIGGLES)
78
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,719
What's wrong?
79
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,588
(GIGGLES AND PANTS)
80
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,796
I'll be there now, babes. All right?
81
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,077
(GIGGLES)
82
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,071
(NESSA GROANS)
83
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,396
I've done you a tea.
84
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,756
Oh, cheers.
What time you in work?
85
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,319
- 1 2.00.
- I'll drop you off.
86
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,436
I've gotta go to pick up
those paper plates.
87
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,114
- Tidy.
- I've been looking at this list.
88
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,760
You sure you're not taking on
too much, cooking all this food?
89
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,115
It's not that much. Read it out.
90
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,428
Cheese and pineapple.
91
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,875
Already done it.
Just gotta do the pineapple.
92
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,757
- Sausage rolls.
- Gwen's doing them.
93
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,558
- Sandwiches.
- Gwen.
94
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:32,595
- Pasties.
- Gwen.
95
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,715
- Quiche.
- Gwen.
96
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:34,755
- Drumsticks.
- Gwen.
97
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,795
- Wings.
- Not doing 'em.
98
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,835
- Spicy wings.
- Gwen.
99
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,035
- Dips.
- Gwen.
100
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,155
- Salad.
- Doris.
101
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,434
- Scotch eggs.
- Gwen.
102
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,555
Crackin'.
103
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,039
What about desserts?
104
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,998
Oh, Dave, man, give me a break.
I'm your fianc?e.
105
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,753
I've got enough on my plate as it is.
I'm christening my son,
106
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,876
I've got two jobs
and I'm living in a caravan.
107
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,190
And it's Gav's first day.
I haven't even rang him yet.
108
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,713
I tried him. He didn't pick up.
109
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,552
Talk to Bryn about the afters.
110
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,234
He's got all sorts kickin' round
in that freezer.
111
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,073
Probably even got a Black Forest
left over from Christmas.
112
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,515
Phwoar! Someone needs changing.
113
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,318
No. He's fine.
114
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,311
It's my feet.
115
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,711
So, this is the first one, OK?
116
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,233
OK.
117
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,675
- Did you speak to Gav yet?
- Yeah.
118
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,069
I think he was a bit off with me,
to be honest.
119
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,991
Was it wrong to send
a balloon, do you think?
120
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,479
No, love. It was a wee bit of fun.
121
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,318
And this is the second one.
122
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,716
I think I prefer the first one.
123
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,394
Oh, I knew you'd say that.
I like this one best.
124
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,755
It's up to you. Whatever
you feel most comfortable in.
125
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,718
Yeah, it's up to me, it is.
It's what I feel most comfortable in.
126
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,155
And the thing with black is
it goes with so much.
127
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,639
Mm-hm.
128
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,472
I've got three interviews
altogether, now.
129
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,959
Hey, I was thinking -
130
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,349
why don't you talk to Andrea
about getting your old job back?
131
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,318
No. Closing down, apparently,
cos of the depression.
132
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,719
Recession.
133
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,552
Yeah. The credit thing.
134
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,030
So, what I'm gonna do is,
I'll hang on to both jackets.
135
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,997
Then, if I get
one of the interviews,
136
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,548
I'll only take one jacket back -
keep the other as a treat.
137
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,517
Yeah. Wear it on Sunday.
138
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,999
Nice one, Gwen.
139
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,513
Oh, my God!
140
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,238
I just called you Gwen!
141
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,958
(BOTH LAUGH)
142
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,197
He just hung up on me, Pam.
143
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:17,478
Treating me like...
like a common dog, a mutt.
144
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,959
Darling, he didn't.
145
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,873
It's his first day.
He was off with me on the phone.
146
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,791
I don't know who he is
any more, Pam.
147
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,518
He's changed.
148
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,397
He's gone, and I'm here, bereft.
149
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,870
I know, darling.
I know exactly how you feel.
150
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,793
No, you don't. You've got Mick.
I've got no-one. I'm all alone!
151
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,279
Well, what about Lucy?
152
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,954
She's on some student exchange thing,
dicking round the Dordogne.
153
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,473
She's got no credit.
I can't text her.
154
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,278
Now, Smithy, listen to me.
155
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,920
You have got to pull yourself
together, darling.
156
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,911
You've got to throw
yourself into work.
157
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,594
I ain't got no work, have I?
No-one's got any money.
158
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,274
I'm still waiting for Mick to give me
the go-ahead on the extension.
159
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,998
I've got Deano givin' it
all that in my ear
160
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,479
about his child maintenance.
161
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,710
Got this christening
I'm supposed to fork out for.
162
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,995
My life's falling apart, Pam.
163
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,071
- Hiya.
- (SMITHY MOANS)
164
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,037
Oh, God. Not this again, you two.
165
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,954
He is struggling, Mick, to come
to terms with the loss of Gavin.
166
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,553
Gavin's not dead, Pam.
167
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,074
Three days running, I've come home
to this - tears at the table.
168
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,311
You are so cold, Michael.
You are cold-hearted, Mr Shipman.
169
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,799
Oh, please, don't argue. Please.
170
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,633
Your only son has emigrated abroad,
to another country,
171
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,278
and you couldn't care one jot.
172
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,193
- You couldn't care a J-O-T-E.
- I do care.
173
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,793
I miss him. I do.
174
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,757
I just think we've got to get on
with our lives
175
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,512
instead of sitting
around here, moping.
176
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,955
Look, Smithy, we would like you
to do the extension.
177
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,112
Seriously?
Cos if I order materials...
178
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,553
Do the bloody extension.
179
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,313
What are you doin' home anyway, Pam?
Shouldn't you and Dawn rehearse?
180
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,833
The heats are in three weeks.
181
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,195
It's off. Dawn and Margaret
have had a fight.
182
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,510
- Why?
- Margaret won't wear the costume.
183
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,160
- She said it was degradin'.
- Costume? What you on about?
184
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,151
Me, Dawn and Japanese Margaret
185
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,151
were gonna enter
Britain's Got Talent.
186
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,198
- Doing what?
- A medley of Miss Saigon songs.
187
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,397
I was just thinking, you know -
I might still enter on my own.
188
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,914
All That Jazz, from Chicago.
189
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,310
# Come on, babe,
why don't we paint the... #
190
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,516
Right. Look,
what's happening on Sunday?
191
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,033
Who's taking who?
192
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,348
# ..And all that jazz... #
193
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,192
I'm taking Mum and Rudi,
so I've got two spaces
194
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,508
if you want to jump in with me.
195
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,909
No, it's all right, darling.
We'll go down on our own.
196
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,991
But if I'm not driving,
I can have a couple of drinks,
197
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,479
and if he's got two spaces...
198
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,551
Yeah, but we don't want to get
in his way, do we, Mick?
199
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,871
- Him and his sister and his mum!
- No, they won't mind.
200
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,872
See? And you and Cath
can have a little catch-up.
201
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,394
No, I think it's a great idea.
Take one car.
202
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,439
Save on the petrol. Do our bit
for the carbon footprint, eh, Pam?
203
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,715
That's jazz!
204
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,598
The surprising thing about Terry is,
although he doesn't look it,
205
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,750
he is, in fact,
our nominated first-aider.
206
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,512
- Huw?
- Ah.
207
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,158
Now, here's somebody
you've not met yet.
208
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,993
Owain Hughes.
Owain heads up the website.
209
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,718
Hi. Nice to meet you. Gavin Shipman.
210
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,199
Owain Hughes.
211
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,158
And before you ask - no, I don't.
212
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,754
(HUW AND OWAIN LAUGH)
213
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,319
Hey, uh,
214
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,472
we have a little seven-a-side
on a Thursday if you fancy joining us.
215
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,472
- Oh, right. Yeah, I'd like that.
- I mean, it's nothing too serious.
216
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,437
At the end of the day,
it's just touch rugby.
217
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,919
But some of the guys...
218
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,389
Oh, sorry. I thought
you meant football.
219
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,835
- No, we play rugby.
- It's rugby, it is.
220
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,478
(KNOCKING)
221
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,788
Gavin!
222
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,791
Gavin, they won't let me in.
223
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,758
- I wanted to surprise you.
- Oh, God.
224
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,910
- Brought you a packed lunch.
- Bryn, I don't need a...
225
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,992
I'm sorry. This is my uncle...in-law
226
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,197
- This is Bryn.
- Hello.
227
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,713
- Hiya.
- Hiya.
228
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,199
Bryn, this is Huw Davies, my boss,
229
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,918
and our website manager,
Owain Hughes.
230
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,468
Owain Hughes! And do you?
231
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,913
No, I don't.
232
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,072
(OWAIN, HUW AND BRYN LAUGH)
233
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,276
Now, I wasn't sure what you'd like,
234
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,670
so I've done you
a selection of sandwiches.
235
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:47,875
A smorgasbord.
236
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,598
You've got cheese and pickle,
237
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,319
cheese and ham, cheese and tomato,
238
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,799
and just cheese.
239
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,279
Take your pick. A bit of everything.
240
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,669
Look, don't stay out there, Bryn.
Come on in, man.
241
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,159
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
242
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,595
I don't want to disturb him
on his first day.
243
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,478
Do you know what?
Looking in this window now,
244
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,915
it's like watching an episode
of The Apprentice.
245
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,310
I feel like Sir Alan Sugar.
Very clever man.
246
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,277
Gavin? You're fired!
247
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,318
You're not really.
I don't have that sort of power.
248
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,516
I'll see you, Gav. Huw. Owain.
249
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,113
- Bye, Bryn.
- See you.
250
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,039
Mr Shipman, parcel for you.
251
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,394
Just arrived.
252
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,959
Oh, thanks.
253
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,318
Well, open it, then.
254
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,279
It's from my wife.
255
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,589
So, what I'll do is,
I'll keep the both jackets.
256
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,353
Then if I get one of the jobs,
I'll only take one jacket back.
257
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,908
- Keep the other as a treat.
- And you can wear it on Sunday.
258
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,150
That's exactly what Mum said.
259
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,391
- Oh, my God. Where's Neil?
- The Baby?
260
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,198
Yeah.
261
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,238
Oh! There you are!
262
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,197
It's easier for me to smoke.
263
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,032
Oh, right.
264
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,078
So how's it all going with Dave,
living together and that?
265
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,435
Oh, you know, he's got his faults,
I've got mine.
266
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,273
They're just magnified
when you live in a caravan.
267
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,112
How you finding it with Gav
in my old room?
268
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,350
Oh, I absolutely love it.
269
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,953
I wake up in the morning
270
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,871
and think, ''Lush! I'm in Barry.''
271
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,191
I just hope Gav likes the job
so we can stay and get our own place.
272
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,033
The thing about relationships, Stace,
it's all about give and take.
273
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,236
- Sometimes you give...
- Sometimes you take.
274
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,710
That's my problem with Dave.
I only want to give.
275
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,952
And he's fed up with taking.
276
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,391
Right.
277
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,072
I gotta clean the grabbers.
278
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,752
Come on, Neil. Follow me.
279
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,833
I didn't know you could win
an iPod on the grabbers.
280
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,037
- Where's it say you can win an iPod?
- You can see it there. It's...
281
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,917
Use your eyes, Stace.
What do you actually see?
282
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,356
- An iPod.
- No. It's an iPod box.
283
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,510
And that is what you win.
284
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,511
I'm sick of sayin' it.
285
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,718
''No, I don't''?
What's his name again?
286
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,028
Owain Hughes.
287
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,714
''And before you ask, no, I don't.''
288
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,635
Right, am I being thick?
Cos I just don't get that.
289
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,029
- Me neither.
- And you say Bryn found it funny?
290
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,190
- Yeah, they all did.
- See, I'm good at jokes.
291
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,714
I'm the creator of some of
Billericay's biggest jokes.
292
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,678
- You are their biggest joke.
- Shut it, you slag!
293
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,239
No, you shut it, you slag.
294
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,629
- You slag!
- You slag!
295
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,109
- You slag!
- You slag!
296
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,317
No, you slag! You slag! You slag!
Shut it, you slag!
297
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,994
Hiya. Can I have a large cod and chips,
two battered sausage,
298
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,594
chicken and mushroom pie,
can of Shandy Bass and a cherry Tango?
299
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:55,954
- You with Deano?
- No.
300
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:56,995
Rudi?
301
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,389
- No.
- What - is all that food for you?
302
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,596
Yeah, but I'm having some now,
as an afternoon snack,
303
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,432
some for my dinner
and then some for my supper.
304
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,590
- Can I have them two?
- What's happening with your mum?
305
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:08,319
- Is she coming on Sunday or not?
- Well, she claims she is.
306
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,073
- If she's not having an off day.
- Well, that's good, innit?
307
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,559
Yeah, it's just...
308
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,029
It's the first time
she's gonna meet Nessa
309
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,599
and Dave's gonna be there and...
310
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,955
You know, after everything
that happened at Christmas...
311
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,155
Like what?
312
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,273
Nothing. Listen, I've gotta pay, so...
Yeah, I'll see you later.
313
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,793
Yeah. See ya.
314
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,791
Stace?
315
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,195
And that sunshine
will certainly help
316
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,158
to ripen David Lloyd's
tomatoes in Cwmbach.
317
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,878
Further west, a little bit of...
318
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,713
...found in almost every town
and city in Wales.
319
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,951
(BOTH SPEAK WELSH)
320
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,039
(SWITCHES TV OFF)
321
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,275
(DOOR OPENS)
322
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,555
- STACEY: Gavlar!
- Hiya.
323
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,038
Oh! I can't do it, can I?
324
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,350
I'm trying to do the robot
so you won't feel homesick.
325
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,034
Oh, baby, that's so sweet.
Come here.
326
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,075
You're so lovely.
327
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,594
Do you prefer sex in Barry
or in Essex?
328
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,638
- What?
- Cos I think I prefer it in Essex.
329
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,917
Right. We did it last night. Are you
saying I'm worse in bed in Barry?
330
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,069
No.
331
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,958
I just mean
I think it's sort of dirtier in Essex,
332
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,235
cos your mum and dad
are only in the next room.
333
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,311
But here, my mum isn't bothered.
334
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,789
She's heard me have sex
loads of times - and Ness.
335
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,232
- (DOG BARKS)
- SMITHY: Mum!
336
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,390
We were supposed to leave
ten minutes ago!
337
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,676
- Have you been to bed?
- No.
338
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,830
Mum, have you got any Nurofen?
339
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,309
CATH: Anadin. In the drawer.
340
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,235
So you're obviously not coming.
341
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,436
Yeah. I'm ready.
342
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,439
You're not coming like that.
343
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,114
(BELCHES AND BLOWS)
344
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,155
I am.
345
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,356
It's a christening.
It's your nephew's christening.
346
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,590
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
347
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,477
Hang on.
348
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,629
What?
349
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,075
Just seeing if I can find
someone who gives a shit.
350
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,913
CATH: Right. I'm ready.
351
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,797
I'll do me make-up in the car.
352
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,598
Bring them Anadin, Ruth.
353
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,872
I knew this would happen.
354
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,951
It won't be Smithy that's held them up.
It'll be her.
355
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,270
- Cath.
- There's no point getting worked up.
356
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,396
We're gonna be together
in that car for four hours.
357
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,029
Nine hours. Four hours there
and four hours back.
358
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,838
That's nine hours, Michael.
359
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,639
No, it's not. It's eight hours.
Four and four is eight.
360
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,551
Oh, to-may-to, to-mah-to.
361
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,437
I just don't want to be stuck
in the car with her.
362
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,475
Why?
363
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,232
Because she plainly
doesn't like me, Mick,
364
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,912
and, quite frankly,
I can't stand her.
365
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,072
And before you say anything,
it's got nothing to do with her epilepsy.
366
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,789
It's narcolepsy, Pam -
a very mild form of narcolepsy.
367
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:41,835
So she says.
368
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,070
- I'd have narcolepsy if I drank...
- (CAR HORN BEEPS)
369
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,752
...three bottles of wine a night.
370
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,592
Be nice.
371
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,432
I will be nice.
I'm sitting in the front.
372
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,038
Pamelar, Micklar,
your ''carr-agini'' awaits.
373
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,155
You're in a good mood.
374
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,798
My son's being made
a Christian, Pam,
375
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,518
which guarantees
he will not burn in hell,
376
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,477
unlike you, Michael Shipman,
377
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,790
who is definitely destined
for the flames.
378
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:06,869
Hi, Rudi.
379
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,598
I gotta sit in the front,
if you don't mind.
380
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,033
I'll puke if I go in the back.
381
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,396
Oh, that's all right, darling.
I prefer it in the back, anyway.
382
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,708
Cath!
383
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,314
Hello, Pammy. Come on. Get in.
We'll have a good catch-up.
384
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,435
Lovely!
385
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,474
(DOORBELL RINGS)
386
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,349
- Hiya, Dor.
- I'm early, I am, Gwen.
387
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,874
- Well, come on in.
- I will, if you don't mind.
388
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,757
I've been ready for six hours,
389
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,434
just scratching around in there,
all on my tod.
390
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,919
Well, you should have said.
391
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,991
Shit! You've been busy.
392
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,638
Just a few bits and bobs.
393
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,792
- Have you got the salad...?
- Oh, this effing salad, Gwen.
394
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,316
Look, I haven't done it,
I'm not doing it. End of.
395
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,914
- Why?
- Because I can't be arsed.
396
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,675
People don't want it, Gwen.
They want filling up.
397
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,558
Pies, pasties, this cheap crap.
398
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,598
I mean, I don't even know
why I offered.
399
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,959
Why did I offer to help someone
who's owed me ?6,500 since 1 992?
400
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,679
She is paying you back, Dor.
Fair play.
401
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,752
?1 a week, Gwen.
What does she take me for?
402
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,435
A fool? I'll be 1 40
by the time it's repaid.
403
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,158
Well, look, Dor,
I'll do the salad, then.
404
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,958
No. Why should you?
405
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,600
You're defeating the object.
Now, just leave it.
406
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,672
Let her come up to me,
as she undoubtedly will,
407
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,797
and say, ''Oh, Dor,
where's the salad?''
408
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,792
And I'll say, ''Oh, fatty,
where's my cash?''
409
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,393
- Hiya!
- Hi.
410
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,550
- All right, Doris?
- No.
411
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,517
I'm crabby, I am, Gav. Moody.
412
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,956
I've just ripped into Nessa
for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
413
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,951
- Time of the month, Stace.
- Oh.
414
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,077
''Do you renounce the works
of the Devil?''
415
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,355
''Yes, sir, I do!''
416
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,396
(ALL LAUGH)
417
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:58,155
Gwen, I've been reading the order
of service for the christening.
418
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,674
And I'll tell you what -
it's very dramatic.
419
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,159
It's like being in an opera.
420
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,958
- Is it?
- GAVIN: Anyone want any toast?
421
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,837
- STACEY: No.
- DORIS: You're right, Gav.
422
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,672
Seriously - as a godfather,
423
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,070
if anything should happen
to Ness, David or Smithy,
424
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,390
then I am basically promising today
425
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,597
to protect Neil the Baby
from Satan himself,
426
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,875
from Lucifer, from Old Nick.
427
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,520
Good thing I've been down the gym,
eh, Gav? Put 'em up!
428
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,477
Put 'em up! Whoa!
429
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,152
(LAUGHS)
430
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,434
Jokin', I am.
431
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,919
GAVIN: I'd better get dressed.
432
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,911
Oh, yes. Come on. Chop chop.
433
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,036
Oh, we've got plenty of time.
434
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,192
Right. I'm gonna start
running this lot down to the Dolphin.
435
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,840
Um...where's the salad, Dor?
436
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,753
Where's the salad?
Where's the salad?
437
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,752
There's the salad.
Now, leave me alone.
438
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,753
So, I said to Dr Chowdhry...
You know Dr Chowdhry, don't you?
439
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,195
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we like him, don't we?
440
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,191
Yeah, well, I used to.
441
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,271
So I said to him,
442
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,636
''All I'm asking you to do
is run some checks on me
443
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,951
''to see if I've got
narcoleptic tendencies.''
444
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,598
- But he wouldn't listen.
- No.
445
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,432
He said if you was to cut down
on your drinking,
446
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,080
you'd notice a marked improvement
on your ability to stay awake.
447
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,879
- And what did I say back to him?
- Mum, you can't. It's racist.
448
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,520
Well, yes, I did say something, Pam,
that I'm ashamed of.
449
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,794
But I told him,
450
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,555
I wasn't there to discuss
my social life, but my health.
451
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,631
- Right.
- So...
452
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,235
He did the tests e-ventually.
453
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,719
And what were the results?
454
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,358
I don't know.
455
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,396
I was supposed to pick them up
on Tuesday afternoon,
456
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,596
but I slept right through till 6.00.
457
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,033
Next time we visit this church,
you'll be walking down the aisle.
458
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,236
I know. The virgin bride.
459
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,151
How's all that going, by the way?
460
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,549
Yeah. I've been looking into it
on the web, like.
461
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,676
I've still got some of
Doris's money left over,
462
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,194
so come the actual wedding night,
I'll be good as new for you.
463
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,315
Crackin'.
464
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,958
Oh, Ness.
465
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,951
All right, Dad?
How's it going? All right?
466
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,156
All right, Ness. How's it going?
All right?
467
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,913
Dave, this is Neil, my father.
468
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,560
Dad, this is my friend, Dave.
469
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,598
- Well, fianc?.
- That's what I said.
470
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,990
And who's this little man, eh?
471
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,640
- (CHUCKLES)
- This is Neil the Baby.
472
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,070
Neil, this is your granddad, Neil.
473
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,355
I'm glad you could make it, Dad.
474
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,512
I know how difficult it must be for you
to show your face round Barry.
475
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,511
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
476
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,034
I've just got to keep
my wits about me.
477
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,439
Shall we?
478
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,435
David.
479
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:47,993
Neil Jenkins!
480
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,992
Now, there's a blast from the past.
481
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,550
- (LAUGHS)
- All right, Bryn. What's occurrin'?
482
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,110
Well, you are looking remarkably well.
Isn't he, Gwen?
483
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,713
I'm trying to think
when we last saw you.
484
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,395
- '97. Diana's funeral.
- That's it.
485
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,675
- Smithy.
- All right?
486
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,991
Hiya. Sorry I'm late.
487
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,275
Hey! There he is!
488
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,237
Why is he wearing a dress?
489
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,753
I don't know.
490
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,353
Oh, right. Um...
491
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,795
Everyone, this is my mum,
by the way, Cath.
492
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,030
- BRYN: Hello, Cath.
- And Rudi, my sister.
493
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,509
Smithy! We met at the drive-through.
494
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,909
- That's all right, Bryn.
- Can we sit down now, please, Neil?
495
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,309
- I'm absolutely exhausted.
- SMITHY: Yeah, yeah.
496
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,558
- I'd better have him with me.
- All right.
497
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,709
OK.
498
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,349
- Should I sit...?
- No, you're all right, Smith.
499
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,557
- You can sit anywhere, I think.
- OK.
500
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,670
Good morning, everyone.
Let's start with our first hymn.
501
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,035
Number 377.
502
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,430
''Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
503
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,909
''In light inaccessible,
504
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,878
''Hid from our eyes.''
505
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,350
(ORGAN PLAYS INTRODUCTION)
506
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,475
And so now we welcome you,
507
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,358
Neil Noel Edmond Smith,
508
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,112
into the family of the Church.
509
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,952
Let's give him a round
of applause, everyone.
510
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,593
And in celebration
of this joyous event,
511
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,910
Bryn West, Neil's godfather,
512
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,672
would like to sing for us all.
513
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,715
Bryn?
514
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,989
( # LABI SIFFRE: Something Inside)
515
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,679
# The higher you build your barrier
516
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:51,477
# The taller I become
517
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,508
# The farther you take
my rights away
518
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,231
# The faster I will run
519
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,637
# You can deny me
520
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:12,033
# You can decide
to turn your face away
521
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,634
# No matter, cos there's...
522
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,871
(CHOIRJOINS IN)
# Something inside so strong
523
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,512
# I know that I can make it
524
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,672
# Though you're doing me wrong,
so wrong
525
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,196
# Thought that my pride was gone
526
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,953
# Oh, no
527
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,238
# There's something inside so strong
528
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,038
# Oh! Oh! Oh!
529
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,874
# Something inside so strong
530
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,477
# The more you refuse
to hear my voice
531
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,120
CHOIR: # Away, away, away, away
532
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,919
BRYN: # The louder I will sing... #
533
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:56,148
Hearing Bryn singing like that
makes me think I should go solo.
534
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,310
- I mean, if he can do it...
- Yeah.
535
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,039
And I honestly believe
I've got something
536
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:04,999
that Simon, Amanda and, particularly,
Piers would want to hear.
537
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,718
Yeah, well, now you come to mention it,
538
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,916
you have got a touch of
the Susan Boyles about you.
539
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,479
Oh, thanks, darlin'.
540
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,313
- Congratulations, you two.
- Yeah, lovely service.
541
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,755
DAVE: Yeah, help yourself
to the food.
542
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,239
- Cheers, Pam.
- Good on you, mate.
543
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,673
There's a bar over there.
544
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,432
Order what you like.
They'll bring it over.
545
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:21,919
Oh, very generous.
546
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,037
Yeah, you can have anything -
beers, wine, vodka, rum.
547
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,792
Tell him what you want,
he'll do it for you.
548
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,713
- And then just pay him at the till.
- BOTH: It's not a free bar.
549
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,199
Right. Ha.
550
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,670
Congratulations, you two.
I hope you'll be very happy together.
551
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,399
Cheers, Dor. I'll stick it
with the others, is it?
552
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:46,271
I'm not being funny, but shouldn't I
be doing this - the welcoming...bit?
553
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:47,315
Congratulations.
554
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,628
- Hiya.
- Cheers.
555
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,392
- I'll take that.
- No, it's not for Neil.
556
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,914
- It's an engagement present, it is.
- What?
557
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,195
Yeah, we thought we'd kill
two birds with one stone, like,
558
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,430
and make it
a christening-slash-engagement party.
559
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,476
Whoa! Hang on.
What's this about a slash?
560
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,120
I don't want a slash.
No-one told me I was having a slash.
561
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,031
It's not a big deal.
It's just a few friends...
562
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:05,997
Yes, it is. I forked out
420 quid for today
563
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,798
for my son...our son's christening.
564
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,438
I can't see where it's gone,
to be honest.
565
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,556
The food's a joke.
There's not even any salad.
566
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,358
What?
567
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,919
Look, it doesn't matter about...
568
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,389
Oh! Doris!
569
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,040
It doesn't matter about the salad.
570
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,348
So...
571
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,114
You're going ahead with it, then -
the engagement.
572
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,033
What? Yeah, I just said.
573
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,475
No, you didn't.
574
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,790
Well, yeah, I am, all right?
575
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,951
You all right?
576
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,237
Yeah. Cheers.
577
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,550
Talk me through the decision
with the middle name again.
578
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,789
Noel and Edmond?
579
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,632
Yeah, Noel Edmond.
580
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,792
Well, I wanted to call him
after my granddad, Edmond...
581
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,279
Pappa Ed.
582
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,794
She wanted to call him after some mate
of hers who was in Hear'Say.
583
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,598
- Noel.
- So that's what we got.
584
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,911
Noel Edmonds.
His middle name's Noel Edmonds.
585
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,672
Well, essentially,
it isn't Noel Edmonds
586
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,557
cos, essentially,
there isn't an S, so...
587
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,517
- Are you in a mood?
- I'm fine.
588
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,558
Just fed up of people saying
my son's named after Noel Edmonds.
589
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,550
Can I have a go of him?
590
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,153
Yeah, go for it.
591
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,117
Sorry. We haven't really met properly.
592
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,599
I'm Smithy's sister.
593
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,557
- Rudi.
- Nessa.
594
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,438
Vanessa. So lovely to meet you.
595
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,238
I'm Catherina, Neil's mother.
596
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,435
I know.
597
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,636
Yeah, it's appalling,
this is the first time we meet.
598
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,075
Don't worry about it.
I knows how tired you get.
599
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,991
And we did speak that time
on the webcam.
600
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,868
Oh...yes, and...
can I just say again,
601
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,838
that second time
was a genuine mistake.
602
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,196
I honestly thought you were
this man called John from Epworth.
603
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,794
- I would never have exposed...
- Oh.
604
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,393
Cath, it's fine.
605
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,994
It's nothing I've not seen before.
606
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,513
BRYN: Right.
607
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,955
Everybody, we're going to have
a family photo.
608
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,190
- Everybody forward.
- MICK: Where do you want us, Bryn?
609
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,750
Dave, I want you one side of Ness
and, Smithy, you on the other.
610
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,513
The little ones at the front
and the big ones at the back.
611
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,477
You're the littlest one, aren't ya?
612
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,836
And then, if everybody could move in
together, please. Bunch in together.
613
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,911
That's it. All right.
614
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:18,839
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- BRYN: Yay.
615
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,592
PAM: Yay! (LAUGHS)
616
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,439
- Can we have one now, me and Gav?
- Go on, then. Ness?
617
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,715
Could Stace have him for a minute?
618
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,038
Oh. He's so lush, isn't he?
619
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,838
Neil the Baby.
620
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,797
Yeah, he is.
621
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,836
- Gav?
- Yeah.
622
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,319
What?
623
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,358
- Yeah, let's go for it.
- Seriously.
624
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,000
Why not? Let's give it a try.
625
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,478
- Oh!
- All ready?
626
00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:01,197
# Tell me tomorrow
I'll wait by the window for you
627
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,319
#I'll wait by your big house for you
628
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:19,151
#I'll wait by the squeezebox
for you. ????????????????????????????????????????????????
629
00:29:19,201 --> 00:29:23,751
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