Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:05,640
I've slept for nearly 11 hours.
You wanna get out the house.
2
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,280
Why don't you come fencing with me
tomorrow? We're going Barry.
4
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,600
Oh God, the scan.
5
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,600
Vanessa Jenkins.
Is that your second name? Yes.
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,840
How ridiculous, she's having my
child I don't know her surname.
7
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,080
That is just one big
massive mistake.
8
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,280
It makes it all seem real now,
doesn't it?
9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,120
BOTH: Yes.
10
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:30,120
TV: And punch it out
and do it again.
11
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,720
SHE GROANS
12
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,160
PHONE RINGS
TV: ..and do it again.
13
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,720
Hiya! How you getting on?
14
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,680
I'm good.
I'm just doing my video. Which one? Judith Chalmers boxercise.
15
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,680
Right. Any news on that job?
16
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:49,880
No, I've still not heard nothing.
I rang about two this morning but they've already gone. Oh, babe.
17
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:54,000
But there's something going at the
zoo. The zoo? Yeah! Can you imagine?
18
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,280
That'd be immense.
What we doing tonight?
19
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,080
Shall we go the pictures?
Nah, Dad's doing his lamb.
20
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:03,680
Oh, lush. So, we'll just
have a quiet night in, eh? Yeah. That'll be nice.
21
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,680
Mick's gonna be on the telly, Stacey!
22
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:16,480
Mick's gonna be on the telly! What?
Mick! He just phoned. He's gonna be on the telly, can you believe it?
23
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,200
Are you serious?
Yeah, he's gonna be on tonight!
24
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,080
I've gotta ring Dawn.
I gotta ring Gav!
25
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:27,280
I know! He's gonna be on the telly!
He just rang me. Hang on.
26
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,720
Smithy? Is your old man
gonna be on the telly?
27
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:38,120
Yeah, I just got a text from
Gary and Simon. Unbelievable! Six o'clock, yeah? I'll be there!
28
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,920
Well, I never.
29
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,240
OK! Six o'clock.
30
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,360
Yes, we'll be watching.
31
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,360
Mick is going to be on the telly.
32
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,200
No, I was just telling Nessa.
33
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,360
OK, bye.
34
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,240
You are never gonna believe this!
35
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,920
Mick's gonna be on the telly. Yes!
36
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,360
Oh, my God! I brought some bubbly.
Can you believe it?
37
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,200
I know! Come in, come in!
38
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,360
God, It's all over the radio.
39
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,120
You are joking me!
40
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:10,640
No! And they said he was 53.
I said to Pete, "They got that bit wrong for starters!"
41
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,640
Where is Pete? Is he coming over?
42
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,680
Oh, don't talk to me about
that dwarf. Hiya, Stace.
43
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,320
Hiya! Fancy a drop of this?
44
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,360
Ooh, go on then. I just
heard Dad's name on the radio.
45
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,760
I know, Dawn said.
He's the talk of the town!
46
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:27,560
Hiya! It's so exciting, isn't it?
I know, it's nuts. Everyone's watching in Barry!
47
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,080
Well, this is peachy.
48
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,880
This is the best day of my life.
49
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,560
Mick on the telly.
50
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,600
There you are, love. Just cheese.
Are you sure that's all right? Crystal.
51
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,000
I wonder how he's feeling now?
52
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,720
Well, it'll be a mixture of nerves
and excitement I should imagine.
53
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,640
I remember when I was on TV.
54
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:51,920
I mean, it was different - it wasn't
actually me, it was a photo-fit, but the likeness was uncanny.
55
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,720
I found it terrifying.
56
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,400
They got you spot on.
57
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,640
It was so good
I had to shave my head.
58
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:10,120
Here he is! And look at all the
paparazzi. Come on, superstar!
59
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,560
Give it a rest, will you?
Stand back, stand back!
60
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,360
Security's here!
Come on, there's nothing to see!
61
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,200
Not you as well.
I wish I'd never mentioned it. Dawn!
62
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,160
Pete's pretending to be Mick's
security guard! Tell him to grow up.
63
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,600
They said you was 53 on the radio,
I said to Dawn, "They got that wrong for starters!"
64
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,360
Hey!
65
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,200
Was that him? The movie star?
66
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,840
Yeah, but he's just a regular guy,
Betty. He's just like the rest of us.
67
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,880
Well, we're taping it, aren't we?
68
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,000
Ah, that's the spirit.
69
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,840
When I say taping, I mean we got one
of them boxes, you know, all remote.
70
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,960
Oh, yeah! We've got one of them,
they're incredible.
71
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,480
And you can pause it
you know and everything.
72
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,400
If you want to make a cup of tea.
That's right...
73
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,640
How's the house hunting coming along,
Gav?
74
00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:02,240
We haven't really started yet. We're
looking at our first place tomorrow. I can't wait. I am so excited.
75
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,600
I remember my first place.
76
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,760
It wasn't much, nothing special,
but it was mine.
77
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:15,200
No-one else telling me what
I could and couldn't do, grinding me down 24/7.
78
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,720
Happy days.
79
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,960
How's the lamb, Pam?
Yeah, all in. There you go.
80
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,960
Wait till you taste my marinade.
- I'll be having a lentil bake. - This is good stuff.
81
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:36,480
- Yeah. Courtesy of your lady wife,
thank you very much. - What?
82
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,960
You bought this? Yes.
So there's no money for me to play golf on Sunday,
83
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,160
but there's money for champagne?
84
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,960
Don't embarrass me, Pete.
You're unbelievable.
85
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,800
You're unbelievable,
you vicious little pig.
86
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:50,920
It's on! Come on!
87
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,080
Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
88
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,480
TV: The Six O'Clock News on BBC One
with George Alagiah.
89
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,560
Good evening and welcome to
the Six O'Clock News.
90
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,800
It's starting, Gwen.
I'll be there now!
91
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,040
The Health Department announces
more cuts on the way.
92
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,040
A murderer strikes again in Essex.
93
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,960
A dismembered body is found
in a Billericay car park.
94
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,760
CHEERING
95
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,080
Cracking. Do you know what show
I'd like to be on?
96
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,160
Stars In Their Eyes.
97
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,440
Who'd you be?
Well, it changes on a daily basis.
98
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,920
If I had to go right here, right now,
99
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,320
David Bowie.
Gwen? Stars In Their Eyes.
100
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,840
Who'd you be?
101
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,440
Suzie Quatro. Ness?
102
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,480
Prince.
103
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,640
Every time.
104
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,840
Yes, I know!
Yes, the dismembered body.
105
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:47,760
That's Mick! Yeah, it's the
third item on the programme.
106
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,480
Yeah, all right then, bye.
107
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,720
Where you going?
It'll be on any second.
108
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,480
I know, I won't be long.
So was it chopped up?
109
00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,400
Yeah, and it was charred,
like it had been burnt. Ooo!
110
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:06,280
You all right? Yeah, I'm
just having some chocolate.
111
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:11,640
We're eating in a bit. What's up?
I dunno really. I've gone down, if I'm honest.
112
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,920
Ah, come here. Why you feeling down?
113
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,000
I'm just a bit bored, you know?
A bit useless.
114
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,960
And me dad being on the telly and
that, just reminds me that I've never done anything like that.
115
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,120
He found a dead body, babe.
It's not an achievement. I know.
116
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,080
But I just feel like I'm
getting under everyone's feet.
117
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,240
You're all on at me
to get a job, and...
118
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:35,400
If I'm honest,
I'm just a bit homesick.
119
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,400
Oh, come on. We can't have this
all the time. I knew you'd say that.
120
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:44,360
Nessa's coming up tomorrow. We're
looking at houses. Flats. You've gotta be more positive.
121
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,400
There's no point talking about it.
You don't understand. Have I missed it?
122
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,080
No, it's next item up.
Quality. Where is he?
123
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,520
Michael! Mick-lar! Pamel-ar!
124
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,080
Smithster!
125
00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,000
Dawn-lar! What a treat, take it high!
Peter-loni on the back wing. Smithy!
126
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,000
Dream. That's all over the box!
Been on the radio an' all, ain't ya?
127
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,920
Rudi texted me, they said
you was 53, Billy Bullshitter!
128
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:12,960
So how's everything with the baby?
Er, yeah good, I think. We went down for the, um...
129
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,040
Scan. Yeah, and all good.
130
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,720
We got the, er... Photograph.
I've got it somewhere. Where is it? It's in my... Wallet?
131
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,280
You got it.
132
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,200
Here you are.
133
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,280
That's the head.
134
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,440
And that's a little arm there.
135
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,880
Oh, sweet! Looks like you, Pete.
136
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,120
Only taller!
137
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,800
Sssshhh! It's on! It's on! Gavin!
Gavin! Gav-lar.
138
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,960
..is at the scene.
139
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,640
I'm standing in the car park of a
large engineering firm here in Billericay.
140
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:51,680
At approximately 7.30 this morning,
a dismembered body, as yet unidentified,
141
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,280
was discovered by
a Mr Michael Shipman, 53,
142
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,640
who's one of the company directors
and this is what he had to say.
143
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,640
It's the last thing you
expect to find when you come into work in the morning.
144
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,760
Later I spoke to Police
Detective Richard Shed.
145
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:12,960
Detective, what can you tell me
about the situation regarding the body and how it was found?
146
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:18,320
I'm afraid I can't disclose
anything. Detective, thank you very much. Back to you in the studio.
147
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:23,160
- A study of obesity released
today claims that many male... - Is that it?
148
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,840
Is that IT?
149
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,200
Was that it?
150
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:36,000
Well, I'm bitterly disappointed.
Crikey, Dad, it was hardly worth mentioning!
151
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,440
Don't switch it off, maybe he'll
come back on. I spoke to them for more than 15 minutes.
152
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,640
Saying my thoughts went out
to her family and all sorts. Oh, that was nice.
153
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,440
They've made you look a right tit.
154
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:52,000
I know. I know! What a joke. He says
he talked to them for half an hour.
155
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,280
He'll have spoken to them
for at least 15 minutes, if not half an hour.
156
00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:01,440
What makes you say that?
Well, when I was news producing for the BBC, that was the golden rule.
157
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,800
You had to cover every base,
leave no stone unturned.
158
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,760
Kate Adie used to moan
about it all the time.
159
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:13,600
In the end, I had to say to her,
"Oh, Kate Adie, you're the face, I'm the brains. Now get on with it."
160
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,200
She was very difficult.
161
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,560
Horrible woman. Selfish.
162
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,640
Nah, go on, who's this?
163
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:24,960
"Well, you just don't expect it when
you come into work in the morning!" Yeah, all right, all right.
164
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,080
Go on, Gav, you do it!
165
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:30,920
"Well, you just don't expect it when
you come into work in the morning!"
166
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,960
That looks lovely! What is that!
It's really easy. It's garlic, olive oil and rosemary
167
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,800
and I've bashed it all together in
the pestle. Now, is the pestle the bowl or is that the mortar?
168
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,560
You know what Pete, I don't know.
I've just always called it the pestle.
169
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:51,240
I'm gonna look that up. Wikipedia.
What I've done is massaged it, rubbed it over the joint.
170
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:56,200
And then let it stand marinading for
an hour. An hour? An hour? An hour. That is brave.
171
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,960
And it's not too overpowering?
172
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,200
Because none of it is penetrating
the meat.
173
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,880
It's just permeating through. And
you wait till you taste the gravy!
174
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:09,840
Can I ask you a personal question?
Sure.
175
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,040
Where did you get them oven gloves?
176
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,920
I tell you why I'm asking.
Dawn got me a pair last Christmas.
177
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,760
I loved the colour.
It was like a charcoal grey.
178
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,520
Ooh, nice. But I swear, I could have
only picked up two,
179
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,400
three baking trays, four at tops,
and they melted straight through.
180
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,240
And you never replaced them? No.
So what you on now, tea towels?
181
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:37,440
Yep. That's not good.
You're a fool. See that blister? That's tea towels.
182
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,760
Here, give these a try.
183
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,640
Yeah, that is nice.
184
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,160
Can't feel a thing.
185
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:09,040
Look, don't get me wrong, we LIKE
having them here, it's just...
186
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,160
Thing is, she can do no wrong in
his eyes, or Mick's for that matter.
187
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:20,120
It's difficult, isn't it?
What about the eating, then? She still think you're vegetarian?
188
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,960
I can't tell her, Dawn.
The lie's too deep.
189
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:28,360
I'm in it up to my neck!
We're going on an animal rights demo in a fortnight! I couldn't give a
190
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,960
shit about the fox. What's that?
What? Nothing, darling.
191
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,120
Yeah, you were saying something.
192
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,200
Oh, it's nothing.
193
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,600
Look, if it's about the threesome,
you can talk about it in front of me. I don't mind.
194
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,520
Yeah. It was about the three-way.
195
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,040
What's the latest on that front?
196
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,120
Well, we are still looking...
197
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,080
Ooh, isn't it exciting?
198
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,360
But it's definitely not Seth.
199
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,280
He's a complete no-go.
200
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,520
Pete's flown him back to Ghana.
201
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,680
Probably for the best.
202
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,480
Aw, there's a shame, he was lush.
203
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:12,080
Well, we do have a few more irons
in the fire, but I can't say too much cos I don't want to jinx it.
204
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:13,960
Is one of them Mick?
205
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:23,360
I don't see why,
if we're pulling it out to here, why we can't move the door and all.
206
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,520
I'm worried about that RSJ.
207
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,360
Yeah.
208
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,240
Do you know what an RSJ is?
209
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,240
No.
210
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,480
It's a Rolled Steel Joist. What?
211
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,080
Rolled Steel Joist.
212
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,920
Rolled Steel Joyce.
213
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,920
Not, Joyce it's not a...it's joist!
214
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:46,440
Rolled Steel Joist.
Joist, joist, rolled steel joist.
215
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:51,360
Do you know where those details are
for the flats we're gonna look at? Under the coffee table.
216
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,080
We're gonna need to measure the
distance from here to that wall.
217
00:12:55,080 --> 00:13:01,720
Here, give it here then.
Stace, you in the shower? Yeah.
218
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,720
Well, just ignore me, won't be a sec.
219
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,240
Pam!
220
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,800
What's that? Five point eight.
221
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:16,200
See? That should be long enough.
There's even room for a heated towel rail! Cheers, Stace.
222
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,960
Oh, is it giving you jip, love?
Yeah.
223
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,760
I not gonna lie to you.
Do you want your sling?
224
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,840
No, I gotta ride it out.
225
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:50,120
I'm off soon anyway. Where is Bryn?
He should have been here by now.
226
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:54,880
You doin' me an omelette for the
trip, like? I'm just lettin' it cool, love. Cheese and ham.
227
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,960
Where've you been? I've been ringing
and ringing. I've been watching Brokeback Mountain. Again?
228
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:04,760
You watched it twice yesterday!
I can't get enough of it. Every shot is like a photograph.
229
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,800
You just loves that
Heath Ledger, don't you? I think he's a cracking actor.
230
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,240
But then again, so is Jake.
And the two of them together...
231
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,920
Double bubble.
232
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,920
Right, are we ready for the off?
233
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:20,320
I'm still waiting on this omelette.
Gwen, what's occurring? Yes!
234
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,160
All right Bryn, let's do one.
235
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,640
I'm so sorry, babes. She doesn't
think. Were you completely naked?
236
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,840
Yeah! My full foof and everything!
237
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,520
Oh, man! I'm sorry.
238
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,920
Is it right onto Picton Avenue?
Yeah, right and then it should be up there on the left.
239
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,760
Not sure about this, are you?
240
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,160
We haven't been inside yet.
Gav-lar!
241
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,720
Up here! Hiya!
242
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,840
All right, you pair of pricks! All
right! What you doing here?
243
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:07,840
Come to look at a flat.
Gavin-lar! Deano.
244
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,040
You've not met Stace, have you?
No. Yeah!
245
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:15,600
Oh, no, we haven't actually
met, but I saw a photo of you.
246
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,720
You were wearing a white dress,
standing outside a church.
247
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,200
I think it might have
been someone's wedding.
248
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,360
Yeah, probably. So what are
you two actually doing up there?
249
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,280
Fitting a satellite.
You know us, Stace...
250
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,040
Satisfaction with every erection.
251
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,800
Not that he's satisfying
anyone with his erections lately.
252
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,600
Absolutely gagging for it. How
many did you shift out last night?
253
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:44,880
Shut up, mate, I wasn't... Four,
wasn't it? He sent me a text saying he cracked four in under two hours.
254
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,480
This is not meant for the delicate
ears of a young lady like yourself.
255
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:53,560
Don't worry about it, I'm just the
same. Being at home doing nothing, it just passes the time.
256
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,800
Like yesterday, I had three
just watching Cash In The Attic. I think it's lush!
257
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,360
So you're still all right to pick
Ness up, aren't you? Yeah.
258
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:08,520
And we thought we'd go
bowling or something. Bowling? Arrrgghh. Whose idea was that, hers?
259
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:13,520
It'll be a laugh.
Yeah! She loves it. She's not my girlfriend or anything.
260
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,240
Well, you are the father of...
261
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:20,680
Yes, I'm the father of her child,
it doesn't mean I have to like her. You comin', Deano? Bowling? Nah.
262
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,720
Scared of the shoes. Come on, we're
gonna be late. See ya!
263
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,280
On the morrow, young Galahad!
264
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,280
How about her
getting her five a day?
265
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,320
That's the Welsh for you, mate.
266
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,920
Filth. The lot of 'em.
267
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:55,320
David. Bryn. All right, Ness.
How's it going?
268
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,600
All right, Dave. How's it going?
269
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,360
Business is booming I see.
Yeah, not bad.
270
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,720
A lot of these
are going to Tussauds.
271
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,920
And how are you keeping
within yourself?
272
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,840
Up and down, Bryn.
It's been a tricky few months. I won't lie to you.
273
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,720
I heard. I heard about the problems.
274
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,200
Not from me, Dave.
My lips are sealed.
275
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,480
Cheers, Ness. I appreciate that.
276
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:20,000
I only wish they had been at the
time, like. Very nasty business. Spread like wildfire.
277
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:26,040
Are we all cleared up now?
Pretty much. I'm into the back end of it. I'll say.
278
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:30,680
I miss you, Ness. I miss you being
around. Why don't you come the barn dance? What's that?
279
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,480
Gwen's birthday on the 28th. We're
short on numbers, aren't we, Bryn?
280
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,440
Yes, and no. I've still not heard
back from people so...
281
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,200
One more can't hurt though, can it?
Well...
282
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,640
What do you reckon, Dave?
You know me, Ness.
283
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,400
I loves a barn dance.
284
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,120
But it's up to Bryn.
285
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,920
Oh. What's occurring?
286
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,000
Nothing, nothing at all.
287
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,680
It'll be great to have you there.
288
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,440
Cracking, count me in.
Fancy a little Dozy Do, Ness?
289
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:06,360
I think I've had enough doses from
you for the time being, thanks Dave. I know. I'm sorry.
290
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,800
I shouldn't have asked. Right, well.
291
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,360
Safe journey, Ness.
292
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:19,160
Oh, and Dave.
It's a surprise it is, the party, so keep it under your hat.
293
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,840
Party? What party?
294
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,720
Gwen's.
295
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,600
What's the matter? Nothing.
Yes there is. What's up? Nothing!
296
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:39,160
You've got to go into
these things... With an open mind. I know. You said three times.
297
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,480
Guys! I am so, so sorry.
298
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,280
I thought...
299
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:49,680
Anyway, I'm Duncan. You must be
Gavin, and you must be Stacey.
300
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,360
I'm only kidding!
301
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,400
Pleased to meet you.
302
00:18:54,400 --> 00:19:00,560
Now, I'm gonna hand you the
keys because, the wow factor is on the other side of the door.
303
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,120
Follow me.
304
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,560
So, I'll, er...
305
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,360
let you find the flat
for yourselves.
306
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,800
Let you absorb,
307
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,520
take it all in. Take in the space.
308
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,440
There's something beautiful about
that, isn't there?
309
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,920
So this is it?
Yeah, this is a studio flat.
310
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,560
It says a large studio.
311
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,960
It is. Is it? Well, compared to a
lot on our books, this is massive.
312
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,440
This is your
living cum kitchen cum bedroom area
313
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:36,440
and that's what makes this unique,
because you've got everything.
314
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,920
I mean, I live in a three-storey
town house, and believe me, those stairs are a killer.
315
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,040
Room on each floor.
316
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,200
Made a big mistake there, really.
317
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:51,760
I should have bought this place.
Stupid! And there's your bathroom. So it's on the market for two...
318
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,120
Can I have a look?
What? At the bathroom.
319
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,400
Well, yeah. All I would say
sometimes your eyes can...
320
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,720
Can we look at the
bathroom, please? Yep.
321
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,360
It hasn't even got a shower.
It's just a toilet and a sink. Yeah, "Hasn't got a shower"
322
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,960
or "Hasn't got a shower where you
thinked it should have been". Take a look at this.
323
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:20,920
Now, what you've got here, is
a wet room slash kitchen. See that?
324
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:26,280
Drainage. In Sweden they've all got
one of these - they call it "Das Vetkutchen".
325
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,640
I tell you what, Stacey,
come and stand here. Come on.
326
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:36,360
And Gav...in.
Gavin, come and hold this. No, you're all right.
327
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,880
Just come and hold this.
Nah, it's fine, really.
328
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,840
I'm not gonna turn the taps on.
329
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,840
There you go.
330
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,400
That's it. Move it around a bit.
331
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,840
Yeah, there's something
quite beautiful about that.
332
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,760
I'd like to leave now, please.
333
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:07,320
Eight and a half, thanks. Gav! They
were disgusting. Every one of them. Four, please.
334
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,520
I can't believe you're even
considering any of them. I'm not.
335
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,480
We've got to be realistic.
For that money you can get a lush place in Barry.
336
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,880
There's a reason for that.
What's that supposed to mean?
337
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,840
There's a reason houses are cheap
in Barry. Why do you always slag Barry off?
338
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:26,400
It's difficult living with a person
who thinks Barry Island's the best place in the world,
339
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:31,600
who can't acknowledge that it ever
even rains there. It doesn't rain there much. Don't be like this.
340
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,160
Gavin Da Jahah Jahah!
341
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:38,320
All right, Smith? Nessa? How's it
going, Gav? All right, Stace? Not really.
342
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,320
Cos someone who'll remain nameless
is being a knob. She's talking about you.
343
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,280
Yeah, I imagine so.
You need some shoes.
344
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:49,480
She's got her own.
I takes bowling very seriously. Shall we get some drinks?
345
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:54,520
Yeah, sure. See you on the lanes.
Did you bring yer ball? She's in the case. What's up?
346
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,480
Don't ask.
347
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,520
I've just had enough of it, Ness.
348
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,920
I got nothing to do all day.
I just don't feel like I live there.
349
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,280
I always feel like I'm
a guest, you know? I do.
350
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,680
What you doing?
351
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:11,400
Shining her up. She's not been down
the lanes in a long while this one.
352
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,680
A bit of polish
sends her on her way.
353
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:19,000
Don't say anything though. About
what? About what I was just saying. No, course not.
354
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,080
It's just at the moment, you know?
She's doing my head in.
355
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,760
Smithy, do you want to
go in as Smithy or do you want me to do a funny name?
356
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,440
Like Gay Boy?
I've put Gav down as Knobhead.
357
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,400
Just put him in as Smithy. Come on.
358
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,440
I'm itching to bowl.
359
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:39,960
Wow. I've never seen one like that
before. You've never seen anyone bowl like this before.
360
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:16,040
Right, who gets eleven strikes?
I mean, what are you, semi-pro?
361
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:21,000
It does matter and I can't believe
you don't think it does. I think renting... What are you saying?
362
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,120
If you shut up for a minute and
stopped shouting like a child.
363
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:28,560
Oh, Stace! What's occurring?
I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go home.
364
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:33,040
You all right, mate? Stacey!
Can we please talk about this? I want to go home! Right.
365
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,440
Do you mean Barry Island, or you
know, Mum and Dad's, where we live? Oh, grow up, Gav.
366
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:42,200
ME grow up? I'm not the one who
can't spend more than five minutes away from their family.
367
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:46,200
Did you hear that, Ness?
I'm not getting involved. Let's all get in the car.
368
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,160
I thought we were getting a KFC?
We're not getting a KFC. What?!
369
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,080
Three door, innit? Yep.
370
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,520
It's one rule for you
and one rule for me.
371
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,000
That's simply not true! It is!
I'm trying to...
372
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:14,880
I'm sick of you, I'm sick of this
house I'm sick of the way you... Oi! Oi! What's going on? Nothing!
373
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,200
Will you just calm down a minute.
It doesn't sound like nothing.
374
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,440
Everything all right?
375
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,520
Don't worry, Pam. Your little
Prince is fine. Eh? Stacey!
376
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:29,280
What's going on? I don't know, Pam.
All I know is if I don't eat this now I'm gonna faint.
377
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,040
Me too. I can barely breathe.
378
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,920
What have I told you about
eating late at night? All that cholesterol.
379
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,760
It's only a six piece.
And we got coleslaw.
380
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,560
Well done, darlings. Now, Nessa, you
know where you're sleeping, do you?
381
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,160
Yeah, thanks, Pam. Cracking.
382
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,720
Night, God bless.
Just help yourselves to whatever.
383
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,160
What are you doing? Leave them be,
woman. Come on. Don't you "woman" me.
384
00:24:55,160 --> 00:25:00,120
He's my only son. I've got a
right to know what's going on. No, he's a grown man, Pam.
385
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:06,760
You're gettin' on my wick, Mick.
Then we'll wait a few more months. A few months!
386
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,720
Oh!
387
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,160
MOANING
388
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,080
Oh, God.
389
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:22,920
Oh, that is so good.
390
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,680
Yeah.
391
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,560
You just can't beat it, can you?
392
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:32,160
What is that secret blend of
eleven herbs and spices, d'you think? I know. The result is immense.
393
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,400
So. How you finding single life?
394
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,160
What was her name again?
Lucy. Yeah, it's fine.
395
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:44,000
It's all right. I mean, there's some
things I miss, obviously.
396
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,640
Yeah. Stace was saying you been
crackin' them out of late.
397
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,400
What?
398
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,320
Why would she... I can't believe...
399
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,920
Don't worry about it. It's normal.
I'm in a similar position myself.
400
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,040
Right.
401
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,200
D'you want that corn on the cob?
402
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:10,520
Is that a euphemism? What?
No, I'm just saying there's one corn on the cob left and you can have it.
403
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,360
If you want it.
404
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,840
Do you want me to have it?
405
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,240
I can see the benefits of having it.
406
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,040
I'd just be worried how you...
407
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:41,160
or I would feel after having it.
408
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,680
Makes no odds to me, as it goes.
409
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:51,360
If I have it it'll be a nice
addition to the meal, if I don't... then, I'm pretty full up already.
410
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,640
The question is, Smithy,
411
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,600
do you want the corn on the cob?
412
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,080
Don't get me wrong.
413
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,320
When I look at it there,
414
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:12,160
all hot and dripping in butter,
just...
415
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,800
inviting me in,
416
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,560
I've got a real hankering for it.
417
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,480
Like a real need. Mmm...
418
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,600
But I would just be worried that if
419
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,960
I ate it tonight, I'd be
expected to eat it more frequently.
420
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,520
I wouldn't worry about that,
if I was you.
421
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:33,800
Corn on the cob is a once in a blue
moon treat as far as I'm concerned, which once eaten is soon forgotten.
422
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,200
It won't be mentioned ever again.
423
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,520
To anyone.
424
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,240
Well, that's good to know.
425
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,640
♪ My mind's telling me no
426
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:59,720
♪ But my body, my body is
telling me yes
427
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,320
♪ Baby
428
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:06,200
♪ I don't want to hurt nobody
429
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:12,240
♪ But there is something that
I must confess
430
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,720
Oh, God.
431
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,600
So, shall we... Yeah.
432
00:28:16,601 --> 00:28:21,601
Transcript: chocolate
Sync: boomer2
433
00:28:21,651 --> 00:28:26,201
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38475
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.