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1
00:00:01,219 --> 00:00:02,551
- COME ON, SCOTTY.
2
00:00:02,587 --> 00:00:03,786
JUST TRY ONE BITE.
3
00:00:03,821 --> 00:00:06,971
EVERYBODY LOVES
GRANDPA'S FAMOUS FRENCH TOAST.
4
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:08,624
MM-MM-MM.
5
00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:25,019
HI, SOPHIA.
6
00:00:25,784 --> 00:00:27,276
- SO HOW'S MY BOYFRIEND
7
00:00:27,311 --> 00:00:30,196
WITH THE LITTLE TUSHIE
THAT'S CUTE ENOUGH TO BITE?
8
00:00:30,815 --> 00:00:33,262
- ACTUALLY, SCOTTY UH,
WON'T EAT HIS BREAKFAST.
9
00:00:33,462 --> 00:00:35,565
- I WAS TALKING
TO YOU, SWEET CHEEKS.
10
00:00:36,565 --> 00:00:39,199
- YOU KNOW, SOPHIA,
IF I WERE A FEW YEARS OLDER...
11
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:41,167
- YOUR DAUGHTER
WOULD STILL BE LIVING WITH YOU.
12
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:45,157
- GOOD MORNING,
LOVES OF MY LIFE.
13
00:00:45,231 --> 00:00:46,329
- OH.
14
00:00:47,665 --> 00:00:49,977
- AND THAT
INCLUDES YOU, SOPHIA-KINS,
15
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,112
MY FAVORITE MATURE PERSON.
16
00:00:52,147 --> 00:00:53,883
- KISS ME,
AND I'LL SLUG YOU.
17
00:00:55,383 --> 00:00:57,117
- WELL, DEAR,
YOU SEEM CHIPPER.
18
00:00:57,152 --> 00:00:58,518
- DOES MY EBULLIENCE SHOW?
19
00:00:58,553 --> 00:01:01,348
- WITH A SKIRT THAT SHORT,
EVERYTHING SHOWS.
20
00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:05,525
- WELL, I SUPPOSE
MY MOOD METER IS SET ON GIDDY.
21
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,760
YOU SEE, I HAVE
A JOB INTERVIEW TODAY.
22
00:01:07,796 --> 00:01:10,196
- [laughing]
23
00:01:10,232 --> 00:01:11,374
A JOB?
24
00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:12,474
- YES, DADDY.
25
00:01:12,519 --> 00:01:13,927
I'M GONNA BE
A NEWSPAPER REPORTER.
26
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:16,168
- AND I'M GONNA BE
A POWER RANGER.
27
00:01:18,406 --> 00:01:19,898
- SERIOUSLY, SOPHIA.
28
00:01:19,945 --> 00:01:22,212
THE DADE COUNTRY CRIER
IS LOOKING FOR A WRITER.
29
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,382
IT'S THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
FOR A YUPPIE MOMMY LIKE ME.
30
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:26,850
OR, AS I'VE COINED IT,
31
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,552
A "YUMMY."
32
00:01:30,322 --> 00:01:32,356
- UH, DEAR,
DON'T YOU THINK
33
00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:35,025
THEY MIGHT WANT SOMEONE
WITH, YOU KNOW, EXPERIENCE?
34
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,660
- DADDY,
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
35
00:01:36,695 --> 00:01:39,463
IN HIGH SCHOOL I PUBLISHED
MY OWN UNDERGROUND NEWSPAPER?
36
00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:41,431
YOU BOUGHT ME
THAT MIMEOGRAPH MACHINE.
37
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:44,201
- AH, YES,
YOU PUT OUT TWO ISSUES,
38
00:01:44,236 --> 00:01:46,108
AND THEN
YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND.
39
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:49,008
- AND THEN
SHE JUST PUT OUT.
40
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:52,476
41
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,512
-
LIFE GOES ON
42
00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:57,351
AND SO DO WE
43
00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:01,367
JUST HOW WE DO IT
IS NO MYSTERY
44
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,353
ONE BY ONE
45
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,155
WE FILL THE DAYS
46
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:09,626
WE FIND A THOUSAND
DIFFERENT WAYS
47
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:13,563
SOMETIMES THE ANSWER
CAN BE HARD TO FIND
48
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:16,333
THAT'S SOMETHING
I WILL NEVER BE
49
00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:19,269
I'M ALWAYS HERE
50
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:24,274
FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED
51
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,610
RAIN OR SHINE
52
00:02:26,645 --> 00:02:28,979
I'LL BE THE ONE
53
00:02:29,014 --> 00:02:33,450
TO SHARE IT ALL
AS LIFE GOES ON
54
00:02:33,485 --> 00:02:35,953
WE SHARE IT ALL
55
00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:39,022
AS LIFE GOES ON
56
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,207
- HARD BODY
AT 11:00.
57
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,511
HI.
- HI.
58
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,312
- WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SET THAT OVER THERE?
59
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,587
- OKAY.
60
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,521
- ALTHOUGH,
CLOSER TO THE COOLER
61
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,544
MIGHT BE
MORE CONVENIENT.
62
00:03:16,122 --> 00:03:17,823
HMM.
63
00:03:18,391 --> 00:03:19,957
WHAT DO YOU THINK, LAVERNE?
64
00:03:19,993 --> 00:03:21,871
- OH, WHO CARES?
65
00:03:22,228 --> 00:03:24,195
- SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, MAXINE.
66
00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:26,163
- LAVERNE,
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED TO PLAY
67
00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:28,626
MAKE-THE-WATER-GUY-
SHOW-US-HIS-HINEY.
68
00:03:30,303 --> 00:03:31,802
- OH, WHAT'S THE POINT?
69
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:33,738
HE'S PROBABLY NO DIFFERENT
THAN THE REST OF 'EM.
70
00:03:33,773 --> 00:03:36,507
JUST A BUNCH OF EAR PICKIN',
REMOTE CONTROL HOGGIN',
71
00:03:36,542 --> 00:03:38,709
STINK-UP-YOUR-TRUCK
WITH-THEIR-CHEAP-COLOGNE
72
00:03:38,745 --> 00:03:40,415
SMELLIN' ANIMALS.
73
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,017
- BAD DATE LAST NIGHT?
74
00:03:44,617 --> 00:03:46,109
- YOU TELL ME.
75
00:03:46,148 --> 00:03:48,988
THE CHARMER I WAS WITH
BOUGHT ME A CHEESEBURGER,
76
00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:51,489
THEN BLEW HIS NOSE
IN THE WRAPPER.
77
00:03:54,964 --> 00:03:56,352
- SMOOTH.
78
00:03:56,387 --> 00:03:58,918
- I SWEAR, I AM
THE QUEEN OF BAD DATES.
79
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,634
- IF THERE'S
A LOSER WITHIN 20 MILE,
80
00:04:00,669 --> 00:04:03,215
HE WILL FIND ME,
ASK ME OUT, BORE ME TO TEARS,
81
00:04:03,262 --> 00:04:05,833
ASK ME OUT AGAIN
AND THE SICK PART IS I'LL GO.
82
00:04:07,009 --> 00:04:10,244
HENCE, I HAVE DECIDED
I AM THROUGH WITH MEN.
83
00:04:10,279 --> 00:04:11,879
- OKAY.
84
00:04:11,914 --> 00:04:13,280
- AND WHEN YOU GET
RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
85
00:04:13,315 --> 00:04:15,349
WHAT IS
THE POINT OF DATIN'?
86
00:04:15,384 --> 00:04:17,512
- FREE DINNER AND SEX?
87
00:04:19,321 --> 00:04:21,153
- HEY, FOXY LADIES.
88
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:25,128
- THEN AGAIN, NO DINNER
COULD POSSIBLY TASTE THAT GOOD.
89
00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:27,378
- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
90
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:28,762
- ACTUALLY,
BEST FRIEND O' MINE,
91
00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:31,346
I AM TAKING YOU
TO A TOM JONES CONCERT TONIGHT.
92
00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:32,612
- REALLY?
93
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:33,859
WHY?
94
00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,270
- WELL, I WAS SUPPOSED
TO GO WITH MY OTHER BUD,
95
00:04:36,305 --> 00:04:37,567
BUD,
96
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,107
BUT HE'S GOTTA
PICK UP TRASH ON I-95
97
00:04:40,142 --> 00:04:42,468
AS PART
OF HIS COMMUNITY SERVICE.
98
00:04:44,213 --> 00:04:46,046
BUT SINCE WHEN ARE
YOU A TOM JONES FAN?
99
00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:47,314
- WELL,
SINCE I REALIZED
100
00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:49,787
MOST OF HIS OTHER FANS
ARE HORNY BABES,
101
00:04:50,286 --> 00:04:53,787
WHO ARE EASY PICKINGS
FOR A TOM JONES LOOK-ALIKE.
102
00:04:53,823 --> 00:04:56,423
- BUT YOU DON'T LOOK
ANYTHING LIKE TOM JONES.
103
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,258
- THAT'S WHY
BUD IS LENDING YOU
104
00:04:58,294 --> 00:05:01,362
HIS SKINTIGHT TUX PANTS
AND CHEST HAIR WIG.
105
00:05:02,498 --> 00:05:04,565
- FORGET IT, CHARLEY.
I'M NOT GOING.
106
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,033
GO FIND YOURSELF
ANOTHER TOM.
107
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:08,035
- OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
108
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:10,704
YOU ASK YOUR FRIEND
ONE LITTLE FAVOR.
109
00:05:10,739 --> 00:05:14,241
NOW I'M GONNA HAVE
TO WEAR THE SALAMI IN MY PANTS.
110
00:05:20,616 --> 00:05:22,182
- GET AWAY FROM ME.
111
00:05:25,187 --> 00:05:29,089
- UM, DOCTOR,
I HAVE A MAJOR FAVOR TO ASK YOU.
112
00:05:29,124 --> 00:05:30,257
- SURE, LAVERNE, ANYTHING.
113
00:05:30,292 --> 00:05:31,425
- IF I CATCH
A BUS RIGHT NOW,
114
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:32,593
I'LL HAVE JUST ENOUGH TIME
115
00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:34,561
TO PICK UP
MY TRUCK AT THE GARAGE.
116
00:05:34,597 --> 00:05:36,797
- WELL, GO AHEAD.
I GOT THIS COVERED.
117
00:05:36,832 --> 00:05:38,732
- LAVERNE, I'M GOING THAT WAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT.
118
00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:40,701
- ARE YOU SURE? I DON'T
WANNA PUT YOU TO ANY TROUBLE.
119
00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:42,135
- OH, IT'S NO TROUBLE.
120
00:05:42,171 --> 00:05:44,504
JUST KEEP YOUR EYES
PEELED FOR A SALAMI SHOP.
121
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,551
- EXCUSE ME.
122
00:05:57,586 --> 00:05:59,653
IS THIS 111 1/2
BLYTHE STREET?
123
00:05:59,688 --> 00:06:00,954
- YEAH.
YOU WANNA SEND A FAX?
124
00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:02,122
- UH, NO.
125
00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:04,358
- RENT A MAILBOX,
HAVE A KEY MADE,
126
00:06:04,393 --> 00:06:05,893
SPONSOR
A THIRD-WORLD ORPHAN?
127
00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:08,295
- OH, NO, NO.
I'M--I'M SORRY.
128
00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:09,630
I MUST BE
IN THE WRONG PLACE.
129
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:11,365
I'M LOOKING
FOR THE DADE COUNTRY CRIER.
130
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,233
- CLASSIFIEDS
ARE A BUCK A LINE,
131
00:06:13,269 --> 00:06:14,935
PERSONALS ARE FREE.
132
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:17,271
UNLESS YOU'RE A PRO.
133
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:22,676
IN WHICH CASE
I'M BENNETT BRAXTON,
134
00:06:22,711 --> 00:06:25,412
PUBLISHER, EDITOR,
AND BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER.
135
00:06:25,447 --> 00:06:27,881
- OH, THAT'S--
THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
136
00:06:27,917 --> 00:06:29,249
REALLY, BUT, UH...
137
00:06:29,285 --> 00:06:30,984
I'M HERE
FOR THE REPORTER'S JOB.
138
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,185
I'M CAROL WESTON.
139
00:06:32,221 --> 00:06:33,587
WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
140
00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:34,755
THE SINGLE MOM.
141
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:35,789
- OH, RIGHT,
142
00:06:35,824 --> 00:06:37,278
THE "YUMMY."
143
00:06:38,294 --> 00:06:40,034
- HERE'S MY RESUME.
144
00:06:40,419 --> 00:06:41,962
NOW,
I KNOW IT DOESN'T SHOW
145
00:06:41,997 --> 00:06:43,764
A VERY IMPRESSIVE
BACKGROUND IN JOURNALISM.
146
00:06:43,799 --> 00:06:45,953
- OR REALLY
MUCH OF ANYTHING.
147
00:06:46,402 --> 00:06:49,236
- BUT THE ONE THING I PROMISE
I CAN BRING TO THE CRIER
148
00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:50,349
IS PASSION,
149
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,439
A PASSION FOR ALL
THAT IS FIT TO PRINT.
150
00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:54,441
YOU SEE,
I LOVE NEWSPAPERS.
151
00:06:54,476 --> 00:06:56,315
- SO,
WHEN CAN YOU START?
152
00:06:56,845 --> 00:06:58,044
- WHAT?
153
00:06:58,079 --> 00:06:59,846
YOU'RE
OFFERING ME THE JOB?
154
00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:01,581
OH, MR. BRAXTON,
THIS IS SO WONDERFUL
155
00:07:01,616 --> 00:07:02,916
I COULD HUG YOU.
156
00:07:02,918 --> 00:07:05,485
P-P-PERHAPS I'LL JUST...
157
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,120
I'LL SCREAM INSTEAD.
158
00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:10,557
[shrieks, laughs]
159
00:07:10,592 --> 00:07:12,625
- TIMMY, I WANT YOU
TO MEET SOMEBODY.
160
00:07:12,661 --> 00:07:15,428
- MR. BRAXTON, I PROMISE
YOU WON'T REGRET THIS.
161
00:07:15,463 --> 00:07:17,397
- THIS IS CAROL,
YOUR NEW ASSISTANT.
162
00:07:17,432 --> 00:07:18,498
- WHAT?
163
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:19,999
- NOT BAD.
164
00:07:20,035 --> 00:07:21,835
YOU'RE ABOUT
A "C" CUP, RIGHT?
165
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:23,937
- I'M SORRY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
166
00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:25,538
- IT'S THAT
DAMN HOWARD STERN.
167
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,073
HE'S GOT ALL THE KIDS
TALKING LIKE THAT.
168
00:07:27,108 --> 00:07:28,608
- NO.
I MEAN, ABOUT THE JOB.
169
00:07:28,643 --> 00:07:30,343
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
HIRING ME TO BE A REPORTER.
170
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:31,511
- NO,
TIMMY'S MY REPORTER.
171
00:07:31,546 --> 00:07:32,679
YOU'RE HIS DRIVER.
172
00:07:32,714 --> 00:07:33,847
- I'LL GIVE YOU A BUCK
173
00:07:33,882 --> 00:07:36,387
IF YOU LET ME
SIT ON YOUR LAP AND STEER.
174
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:39,619
- MR. BRAXTON,
175
00:07:39,654 --> 00:07:41,621
I DID NOT COME
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE
176
00:07:41,656 --> 00:07:44,157
TO PLAY CHAUFFEUR
TO SOME FOUL-MOUTHED CHILD.
177
00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:45,825
- THIS FOUL-MOUTHED CHILD
178
00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:47,527
HAPPENS TO BE
A JOURNALISTIC GENIUS.
179
00:07:47,562 --> 00:07:48,995
NOT TO MENTION
HIS FATHER OWNS
180
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,030
THE LARGEST APPLIANCE STORE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
181
00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:52,632
BY THE WAY,
YOU PITCH YOUR OLD MAN
182
00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:54,300
ON THAT FOUR-PAGE
SUPPLEMENT YET?
183
00:07:54,336 --> 00:07:55,876
- GET BENT.
184
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,606
- TAKE YOUR TIME
ON THAT ONE, TIMBO.
185
00:08:00,108 --> 00:08:01,374
TEMPERAMENTAL
LITTLE BASTARD,
186
00:08:01,409 --> 00:08:03,177
BUT HE WRITES
HIS TUCHUS OFF.
187
00:08:03,345 --> 00:08:04,777
YOU TWO ARE GONNA
MAKE A HELL OF A TEAM.
188
00:08:04,813 --> 00:08:07,580
- NO, WE WON'T.
I'M NOT TAKING THE JOB.
189
00:08:07,616 --> 00:08:08,915
- WHAT?
190
00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:10,483
YOU'RE THUMBING YOUR NOSE
191
00:08:10,518 --> 00:08:13,050
AT LEARNING THE BIZ
FROM ONE OF THE BEST?
192
00:08:13,421 --> 00:08:15,221
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THAT?
193
00:08:15,257 --> 00:08:16,990
- OH, MY GOD.
194
00:08:17,025 --> 00:08:18,958
IS THAT A PULITZER?
195
00:08:18,994 --> 00:08:21,370
- ACTUALLY,
IT'S A FOOLITZER.
196
00:08:22,864 --> 00:08:25,865
A LITTLE NOVELTY ITEM
I'M TRYING TO MARKET.
197
00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:27,602
BUT THE POINT IS...
198
00:08:28,803 --> 00:08:31,070
I'VE BEEN A NEWSMAN
FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
199
00:08:31,106 --> 00:08:34,232
I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO EARN
ONE OF THE REAL THINGS.
200
00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:37,371
OR I COULD TEACH YOU
HOW TO MAKE ONE.
201
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,979
- I DON'T KNOW.
202
00:08:40,015 --> 00:08:41,781
IT JUST SEEMS
SO ENTRY LEVEL.
203
00:08:41,816 --> 00:08:44,186
- HEY, WHAT OTHER RAG'S
GONNA HIRE YOU?
204
00:08:44,486 --> 00:08:46,986
- WOULD I GET TO WEAR ONE
OF THOSE CUTE LITTLE FEDORAS
205
00:08:47,022 --> 00:08:48,288
WITH THE PRESS CARD ON IT?
206
00:08:48,323 --> 00:08:50,123
- YOU KEEP WEARING
SKIRTS THAT SHORT,
207
00:08:50,158 --> 00:08:52,296
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU PUT ON YOUR HEAD.
208
00:08:54,463 --> 00:08:58,831
-
IT'S NOT UNUSUAL
TO BE LOVED BY ANYONE
209
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:00,433
WHOA WHOA WHOA
WHOA WHOA WHOA
210
00:09:00,468 --> 00:09:02,602
IT'S NOT UNUSUAL--
211
00:09:02,637 --> 00:09:03,937
HEY, DR. DOUGLAS.
212
00:09:03,972 --> 00:09:05,939
- IF YOU EXPECT ME
TO THROW MY PANTIES AT YOU,
213
00:09:05,974 --> 00:09:07,810
YOU'RE SADLY MISTAKEN.
214
00:09:08,109 --> 00:09:09,475
- I'M SORRY.
215
00:09:09,511 --> 00:09:12,078
I ALWAYS SING THE DAY
AFTER I'VE BEEN TO A CONCERT.
216
00:09:12,113 --> 00:09:14,681
- YOU WENT
TO A TOM JONES CONCERT?
217
00:09:14,716 --> 00:09:18,318
- DOCTOR, A WOMAN DOES NOT LIVE
BY CLINT BLACK ALONE.
218
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,387
BESIDES,
CHARLEY HAD AN EXTRA TICKET.
219
00:09:21,423 --> 00:09:22,822
- CHARLEY?
220
00:09:22,857 --> 00:09:25,692
CHARLEY DIETZ
AND YOU ON A DATE?
221
00:09:25,727 --> 00:09:27,627
- IT WAS NOT A DATE,
222
00:09:27,937 --> 00:09:30,503
WHICH IS PROBABLY
WHY I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME.
223
00:09:30,765 --> 00:09:33,266
LORDY, WATCHING
THAT MAN WIGGLE AROUND
224
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:35,301
IN THEM SKINTIGHT PANTS
WITH HIS SHIRT UNDONE
225
00:09:35,337 --> 00:09:36,469
TO HIS BELLY BUTTON
226
00:09:36,504 --> 00:09:39,146
GAVE ME
A WICKED CASE OF THE GIGGLES.
227
00:09:40,542 --> 00:09:43,142
- YEAH, I GUESS
TOM JONES IS PRETTY CAMPY.
228
00:09:43,178 --> 00:09:45,047
- I'S TALKIN'
'BOUT CHARLEY.
229
00:09:47,515 --> 00:09:50,316
LORD, THAT MAN
WAS SO FUNNY LAST NIGHT.
230
00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,151
THAT BOY
IS OUT OF HIS MIND.
231
00:09:52,187 --> 00:09:54,320
- WON'T GET
ANY ARGUMENT HERE.
232
00:09:54,356 --> 00:09:56,489
BUT I THOUGHT
YOU HATED CHARLEY.
233
00:09:56,524 --> 00:09:58,520
- I DO NOT HATE ANYONE.
234
00:09:58,693 --> 00:10:00,893
- EXCEPT FOR YANKEES
WHO SAY "Y'ALL."
235
00:10:00,929 --> 00:10:03,429
- THAT IS A PEEVE,
NOT A HATE.
236
00:10:03,465 --> 00:10:06,032
NOW, I DON'T RECALL INVITIN' YOU
INTO THIS CONVERSATION.
237
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:09,063
- A LITTLE TOUCHY
THIS MORNING, AREN'T Y'ALL?
238
00:10:10,105 --> 00:10:12,939
- COULD BE 'CAUSE
SHE WENT A-DATIN' LAST NIGHT
239
00:10:12,974 --> 00:10:15,245
WITH A FELLER
NAMED CHARLEY.
240
00:10:16,177 --> 00:10:18,711
- [choking]
241
00:10:20,782 --> 00:10:22,115
YOU...
242
00:10:22,365 --> 00:10:24,182
YOU HAD
A DATE WITH CHARLEY?
243
00:10:24,419 --> 00:10:26,452
- IT WAS NOT A DATE.
244
00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:29,024
AND IT'S "Y'ALL,"
NOT "YA'ALL."
245
00:10:31,659 --> 00:10:33,259
- WHAT'S WITH HER?
246
00:10:33,294 --> 00:10:36,029
- SOUNDS LIKE
SHE'S GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND.
247
00:10:36,064 --> 00:10:37,663
- CHARLEY?
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
248
00:10:37,699 --> 00:10:39,165
MAXINE, COME ON.
249
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,623
WHAT COULD SHE
POSSIBLY SEE IN HIM?
250
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,176
- WELL, LET'S SEE.
251
00:10:43,211 --> 00:10:45,845
HE'S INCONSIDERATE,
HAS A DEAD-END JOB,
252
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,895
AND HE'S DUMB AS A STUMP.
253
00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:51,407
HELL, I'M SURPRISED
I'M NOT DATIN' HIM.
254
00:11:00,128 --> 00:11:01,494
- MORNING, DADDY.
255
00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:02,762
- MORNING, DEAR.
256
00:11:02,797 --> 00:11:05,264
BOY, THIS EDITORIAL
IS--IS FASCINATING.
257
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,900
THAT KID YOU'RE WORKING FOR
IS ONE TERRIFIC WRITER.
258
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:10,937
- ACTUALLY,
I WORK WITH, NOT FOR TIMMY.
259
00:11:10,972 --> 00:11:13,325
[beeping]
260
00:11:14,876 --> 00:11:17,476
THAT'S WEIRD.
I THOUGHT I HEARD IT GO.
261
00:11:17,512 --> 00:11:18,811
- NO, IT'S MINE.
262
00:11:18,847 --> 00:11:20,780
IT'S A GIFT
FROM TIMMY, THE BOY WONDER.
263
00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:22,548
PROBABLY FORGOT
HIS LUNCH AGAIN.
264
00:11:22,584 --> 00:11:23,716
OR MAYBE
HE WANTS TO PARADE ME
265
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,151
IN FRONT
OF HIS GEEKY LITTLE FRIENDS
266
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,219
AND ANNOUNCE MY AGE.
267
00:11:26,254 --> 00:11:27,386
WELL, THE JOKE'S ON HIM.
268
00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:28,819
I LIED.
269
00:11:29,691 --> 00:11:31,057
- THAT'S SHOWING HIM.
270
00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:33,159
- OH, DADDY,
LISTEN TO ME.
271
00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:34,660
I WANTED TO BE A REPORTER.
272
00:11:34,696 --> 00:11:36,062
INSTEAD,
I'M PLAYING VALET
273
00:11:36,097 --> 00:11:38,397
TO SOME
OVER-HORMONED DELINQUENT.
274
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:41,000
COULD LIFE
GET ANY MORE INSANE?
275
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,268
- CAROL...
276
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,056
- SEE?
I TOLD YOU THEY'D BE UP.
277
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:55,181
- MORNIN', Y'ALL.
278
00:11:59,424 --> 00:12:02,024
- WHY IF IT ISN'T
CHARLEY AND LAVERNE.
279
00:12:02,285 --> 00:12:03,622
DADDY?
280
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,925
- YES, DEAR. IT'S--
IT'S CHARLEY AND--
281
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:10,414
AND LAVERNE.
282
00:12:11,288 --> 00:12:13,688
- I'M REALLY SORRY
TO BARGE IN LIKE THIS,
283
00:12:13,723 --> 00:12:16,191
BUT, CAROL, DO YOU THINK I
COULD BORROW YOUR PAIR OF JEANS?
284
00:12:16,226 --> 00:12:18,393
- WELL,
OF COURSE, LAVERNE.
285
00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:21,568
AND PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO TAKE A SHOWER, TOO.
286
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:26,343
A NICE DISINFECTING,
AMNESIA-INDUCING SHOWER.
287
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:31,039
- NO, REALLY,
HON, I JUST NEED SOME PANTS.
288
00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:32,507
OH, FUMBLE FINGERS HERE
289
00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:35,376
SPILT TRANSMISSION FLUID
ALL OVER MINE.
290
00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:38,046
- [laughing]
291
00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:39,280
TRANSMISSION FLUID?
292
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:42,016
SO YOU TWO
WERE JUST WORKING ON A CAR.
293
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,686
- WELL, YEAH,
WHAT'D YOU THINK WE WAS DOIN'?
294
00:12:45,997 --> 00:12:47,499
- THAT.
295
00:12:48,291 --> 00:12:49,524
- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, HARRY?
296
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,459
I TOOK HER TO A CONCERT,
AND SHE REBUILT MY TRANSMISSION.
297
00:12:52,963 --> 00:12:54,829
- THAT'S JUST THE WAY
WE SOUTHERNERS ARE.
298
00:12:54,865 --> 00:12:56,397
YOU DO
SOMETHIN' NICE FOR US,
299
00:12:56,433 --> 00:12:58,533
AND WE WILL RETURN THE FAVOR
TEN-FOLD.
300
00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:01,005
- YOU'RE FROM
THE SOUTH, LAVERNE?
301
00:13:01,671 --> 00:13:04,001
- YOU ARE SUCH A KIDDER.
302
00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:06,081
- I AM, AREN'T I?
303
00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:13,781
- YOU KNOW, THIS CORN BALL
KEPT ME UP TILL 2:00 AM
304
00:13:13,817 --> 00:13:15,049
WITH HIS LAME JOKES,
305
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,517
AND THEN HE WOULDN'T
LET ME GO HOME.
306
00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:18,622
- OH, REALLY?
REALLY?
307
00:13:19,289 --> 00:13:20,421
- CALL ME A WORRYWART,
308
00:13:20,457 --> 00:13:21,890
BUT I DON'T THINK
A HALF-DRESSED LADY
309
00:13:21,925 --> 00:13:23,224
SHOULD BE
ON THE ROAD AT THAT HOUR.
310
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:26,396
- OF COURSE, SHE'D BE
MUCH SAFER AT YOUR HOUSE.
311
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:30,465
- CHARLEY,
LIVING ROOM, NOW.
312
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,066
- OH, SURE, HARRY.
AS SOON AS I FINISH MY--
313
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,035
- JUST GIVE ME THAT
AND YOU COME WITH ME.
314
00:13:36,373 --> 00:13:39,274
- UM, CAROL, HON, DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD FETCH THEM PANTS?
315
00:13:39,309 --> 00:13:41,184
MY LEGS IS
STARTIN' TO GET A CHILL.
316
00:13:41,231 --> 00:13:42,637
- OH, LAVERNE.
317
00:13:43,177 --> 00:13:47,905
YOU POOR, SWEET, NAIVE,
COUNTRY MOUSE OF A WOMAN.
318
00:13:48,685 --> 00:13:50,118
- 'SCUSE ME?
319
00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:51,552
- PERHAPS
IF I FRAME THIS
320
00:13:51,588 --> 00:13:53,688
IN ONE OF THOSE
COLORFUL METAPHORS
321
00:13:53,723 --> 00:13:56,157
YOU RURAL FOLK
ARE SO FACILE AT INVENTING.
322
00:13:56,192 --> 00:13:59,627
LET'S PRETEND
YOU'RE A LITTLE BABY POSSUM.
323
00:13:59,663 --> 00:14:01,329
DELICATE, INNOCENT,
324
00:14:01,364 --> 00:14:03,398
YET ANXIOUS
TO EXPERIENCE THE WORLD.
325
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:07,275
SO ONE DAY YOU BLITHELY
VENTURE ONTO THE INTERSTATE
326
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:11,572
UNAWARE THAT AN UGLY,
DIESEL-BELTHCHING 18-WHEELER
327
00:14:11,608 --> 00:14:14,002
WE'LL CALL CHARLEY
328
00:14:14,878 --> 00:14:17,478
IS BARRELING TOWARD YOU.
329
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,521
- ARE YOU CALLIN' ME
ROAD KILL?
330
00:14:23,787 --> 00:14:25,219
- LAVERNE IS
LIKE A DAUGHTER TO ME.
331
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,562
YOU UNDERSTAND?
332
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:30,091
- SHE'S GONNA MOVE IN
AND START SPONGING OFF YOU?
333
00:14:31,761 --> 00:14:33,428
- HEY, CHARLEY.
WE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT?
334
00:14:33,463 --> 00:14:34,595
- I WOULDN'T MISS IT, BABE.
335
00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:35,929
- SEE YOU LATER, HON.
336
00:14:36,366 --> 00:14:37,989
- HON AND BABE.
337
00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:40,134
CHARLEY, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
338
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,903
THIS IS SOME SNEAKY,
SLEAZY PLAN OF YOURS
339
00:14:41,938 --> 00:14:43,071
TO GET HER INTO BED.
340
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:45,097
- NUH-UH.
341
00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,476
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, HARRY.
342
00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:50,611
LAVERNE AND I HAVE BEEN HAVING
SUCH A GOOD TIME TOGETHER,
343
00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:52,795
I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT
OF BOINKIN' HER.
344
00:14:53,383 --> 00:14:54,582
BUT FOR ARGUMENT SAKE,
345
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:56,536
HOW'D
THAT SLEAZY PLAN GO AGAIN?
346
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:05,361
- [phone ringing]
347
00:15:06,062 --> 00:15:07,559
- DADE COUNTY CRIER.
348
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,630
OH, YOU WANNA
PLACE A PERSONAL?
349
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,208
ALL RIGHT.
350
00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:12,905
GO AHEAD.
351
00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:18,439
"SICILIAN SPITFIRE
SEEKS CHAIN-SMOKER
352
00:15:18,475 --> 00:15:21,612
"WITH SUBSTANTIAL
LIFE INSURANCE POLICY.
353
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,319
FATTIES WELCOME."
354
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,456
SOPHIA, IS THAT YOU?
355
00:15:29,489 --> 00:15:31,489
MR. BRAXTON,
356
00:15:31,525 --> 00:15:33,892
HOW ARE YOU
THIS FINE AFTERNOON?
357
00:15:33,927 --> 00:15:35,697
- CROCKED.
358
00:15:37,297 --> 00:15:39,164
YOU KNOW
HOW MANY DAIQUIRIS IT TAKES
359
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:41,966
TO GET A DRY CLEANER
TO SPRING FOR A FULL-PAGE AD?
360
00:15:42,002 --> 00:15:44,202
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
361
00:15:44,237 --> 00:15:46,043
- NEITHER DO I.
362
00:15:47,674 --> 00:15:49,507
WHERE THE HELL IS TIMMY?
363
00:15:49,543 --> 00:15:51,242
- I DON'T KNOW.
HE WASN'T THERE
364
00:15:51,278 --> 00:15:52,744
WHEN I WENT
TO PICK HIM UP AFTER SCHOOL.
365
00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:55,547
- HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COVER
THAT SWIMMING POOL DEDICATION.
366
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:56,748
- I KNOW.
367
00:15:56,783 --> 00:15:57,982
- GREAT.
368
00:15:58,018 --> 00:15:59,551
WE'RE GOING
TO PRESS IN A HALF HOUR.
369
00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:00,718
I'LL KILL HIM.
370
00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:02,200
- HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
371
00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:05,557
WHEN I COULDN'T
FIND YOUNG TIMMY,
372
00:16:05,592 --> 00:16:07,625
I WENT AHEAD
TO THE SWIMMING POOL DEDICATION
373
00:16:07,661 --> 00:16:09,627
AND JOTTED DOWN A FEW NOTES.
374
00:16:12,048 --> 00:16:13,364
- CAROL,
THIS IS BRILLIANT.
375
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,100
- REALLY?
YOU THINK SO?
376
00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:17,997
- SMELL MY BREATH.
377
00:16:18,839 --> 00:16:21,524
I'D THINK A SIZZLER MENU
WAS BRILLIANT.
378
00:16:22,109 --> 00:16:23,903
HERE,
GET THIS TO THE PRINTER.
379
00:16:24,187 --> 00:16:25,848
I GOTTA TAKE A NAP.
380
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:29,713
- SO, I'M BEING PUBLISHED.
381
00:16:30,217 --> 00:16:32,984
MY WORDS
ARE SHOWING UP IN PRINT.
382
00:16:33,019 --> 00:16:35,019
DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS
383
00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:37,565
TO A STRUGGLING
YOUNG WRITER LIKE MYSELF?
384
00:16:37,808 --> 00:16:40,904
- [snoring]
385
00:16:41,294 --> 00:16:43,362
- I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES.
386
00:16:45,327 --> 00:16:46,539
TIMMY!
387
00:16:46,618 --> 00:16:48,399
THANK GOD.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
388
00:16:48,435 --> 00:16:49,989
- CAROL, WHERE WERE YOU?
389
00:16:50,029 --> 00:16:51,369
I'VE BEEN
PAGING YOU ALL DAY.
390
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:54,839
- OOPS.
IT'S TURNED OFF.
391
00:16:54,886 --> 00:16:56,441
WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW INEPT WE GALS ARE
392
00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:58,114
WHEN IT COMES
TO ELECTRONICS.
393
00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:00,245
- YOU SET ME UP.
394
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,679
- LET'S
JUST CALL IT PAYBACK
395
00:17:01,715 --> 00:17:04,379
FOR TELLING YOUR
PIMPLY-FACED CHUMS I'M A MOANER.
396
00:17:06,653 --> 00:17:09,512
- IF THAT'S TIMMY, ASK HIM
IF HIS OLD MAN'S BUYING SPACE.
397
00:17:09,544 --> 00:17:10,965
- MY OLD MAN
SOLD HIS STORE.
398
00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:13,039
- IF THAT'S TIMMY,
TELL HIM HE'S FIRED.
399
00:17:14,942 --> 00:17:16,372
- TOUGH BREAK, KID.
400
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:19,378
NOW, IF YOU'LL,
UH, STEP ASIDE,
401
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,714
I'M ON MY WAY TO A CAREER.
402
00:17:22,163 --> 00:17:23,482
OH, AND, TIMBO,
403
00:17:23,518 --> 00:17:24,572
HERE.
404
00:17:25,242 --> 00:17:26,942
GO BEEP YOURSELF.
405
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:41,434
- TSK, OH,
CHARLEY, THIS IS NICE.
406
00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:42,968
- YEAH, I'VE BEEN
COMING HERE FOR YEARS.
407
00:17:43,004 --> 00:17:44,927
IT'S A GREAT PLACE
TO UNWIND.
408
00:17:49,343 --> 00:17:52,278
- GUESS YOU UNWOUND A LITTLE BIT
TOO FAR LAST TIME.
409
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:53,612
HEY, COME ON.
410
00:17:53,648 --> 00:17:56,515
GAME OF EIGHT-BALL
HELP TAKE THE STING OUT.
411
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:57,683
- YOU KNOW, LAVERNE,
412
00:17:57,719 --> 00:17:59,483
I'M REAL GLAD
YOU SHOWED UP TONIGHT.
413
00:17:59,654 --> 00:18:01,020
- WELL, WHY WOULDN'T I?
414
00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:03,022
- WELL, YOU KNOW, THE WAY
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TALKING,
415
00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:05,224
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT FEEL
KINDA WEIRD BEING SEEN WITH ME.
416
00:18:05,259 --> 00:18:07,093
- CHARLEY, I DON'T CARE
WHAT PEOPLE THINK.
417
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,661
I DO NOT CARE WHO SEES US.
418
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,030
OH, MY GOD, NOT SOPHIA.
QUICK. TURN AROUND.
419
00:18:15,369 --> 00:18:16,869
- WELL,
IF IT ISN'T THE LOVEBIRDS.
420
00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:18,387
I HEARD
YOU TWO WERE AN ITEM.
421
00:18:19,568 --> 00:18:21,574
- SOPHIA,
WE ARE NOT AN ITEM.
422
00:18:21,609 --> 00:18:23,976
HONESTLY, I DO NOT KNOW
HOW THESE RUMORS GET STARTED.
423
00:18:25,035 --> 00:18:26,149
- HEY...
424
00:18:26,914 --> 00:18:28,180
COME HERE.
425
00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:30,516
NURSEY AND CRUISE BOY
ARE GROOVING ON THE LOVE THING.
426
00:18:30,551 --> 00:18:32,084
PASS IT ON.
427
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,856
- CHARLEY, WHY DON'T YOU
GO AHEAD AND BREAK?
428
00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:38,057
- OKAY.
429
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,760
- I THINK IT
ONLY FAIR TO WARN YOU
430
00:18:40,795 --> 00:18:42,428
THAT, UH...
[clearing her throat]
431
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:44,764
I HAPPEN
TO BE QUITE GOOD.
432
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,936
- AND YOU HAPPEN
TO BE A HELL OF A LOT BETTER.
433
00:18:50,972 --> 00:18:52,605
WHERE'D YOU LEARN
TO SHOOT LIKE THAT?
434
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,241
- I WAS PRACTICALLY
RAISED ON ONE OF THESE THINGS.
435
00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:56,408
- NO KIDDIN'?
436
00:18:56,443 --> 00:18:57,521
- YUP.
437
00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:58,778
MY PARENTS
KEPT ME LOCKED
438
00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:00,679
IN THE CELLAR
TILL I WAS 12.
439
00:19:02,799 --> 00:19:04,416
MOST KIDS HAD A DOG,
440
00:19:04,452 --> 00:19:05,806
I HAD A POOL TABLE.
441
00:19:06,422 --> 00:19:07,873
CALLED IT SPOT.
442
00:19:09,530 --> 00:19:10,656
OOPS.
443
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,591
- HEY, HUSTLER,
YOU MISSED.
444
00:19:12,627 --> 00:19:13,826
- OR WAS I
JUST BEING POLITE?
445
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,418
- NO, YOU MISSED.
446
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,320
NOW I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW IT'S REALLY DONE.
447
00:19:20,301 --> 00:19:22,722
SEE?
THAT'S HOW YOU MISS. DAMN.
448
00:19:23,838 --> 00:19:25,137
- YOU'RE MOVING
YOUR CUE TOO MUCH.
449
00:19:25,173 --> 00:19:26,205
HERE.
LET ME SHOW YOU.
450
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,506
FIRST THING YOU GOTTA DO
451
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,942
IS YOU GOTTA HOLD THE STICK
SO IT FEELS BALANCED.
452
00:19:29,977 --> 00:19:31,110
THAT'S RIGHT.
453
00:19:31,145 --> 00:19:33,612
NOW, JUST MOVE IT
BACK AND FORTH.
454
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,014
- BACK AND FORTH.
- BACK AND FORTH.
455
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,183
- BACK AND FORTH.
- THAT'S IT.
456
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,684
- BACK AND FORTH.
457
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:39,919
- OKAY, NOW SHOOT.
458
00:19:39,954 --> 00:19:41,554
- BACK AND FORTH.
459
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:43,789
HEY!
I MADE IT.
460
00:19:43,825 --> 00:19:45,157
[laughing]
461
00:19:47,662 --> 00:19:48,861
- UH...
462
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,141
LAVERNE?
463
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:54,194
I DON'T KNOW
IF WE SHOULD, UH, DO THIS.
464
00:19:55,831 --> 00:19:57,726
- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY. I--
465
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,417
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT COME OVER ME.
466
00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:03,342
- TSK,
OH, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
467
00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:04,944
MAYBE HARRY WAS RIGHT.
468
00:20:04,979 --> 00:20:07,947
MAYBE THIS IS JUST SOME
SNEAKY, SLEAZY SCHEME OF MINE.
469
00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:09,481
AND IT REALLY
MUST BE SNEAKY
470
00:20:09,517 --> 00:20:11,772
BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
471
00:20:13,187 --> 00:20:15,588
- CHARLEY, I WAS THE ONE
WHAT WAS GONNA KISS YOU.
472
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,638
- MAN,
I'M SO GOOD, IT'S SCARY.
473
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,539
- NO, YOU NOT.
474
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:23,843
LOOK, CHARLEY, UH...
475
00:20:23,998 --> 00:20:26,031
MAYBE--
MAYBE THERE'S A...
476
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,906
JUST A LITTLE, UH...
477
00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:30,970
SMIDGE OF CHEMISTRY
BETWEEN US.
478
00:20:32,054 --> 00:20:33,138
- REALLY?
479
00:20:33,174 --> 00:20:34,623
- WELL, YEAH.
480
00:20:36,177 --> 00:20:38,811
AND I'M JUST GLAD
YOU SHOWED SO MUCH RESTRAINT
481
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:41,158
DURING MY MOMENT
OF VULNERABILITY.
482
00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:43,061
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
483
00:20:44,004 --> 00:20:45,288
- I'M GAY?
484
00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,578
- YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN.
485
00:20:52,325 --> 00:20:54,698
- LAVERNE, I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD GO OUT ANYMORE.
486
00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:56,128
- WHY?
487
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:57,630
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH LONGER
488
00:20:57,665 --> 00:21:00,023
I CAN KEEP ACTING
LIKE SUCH A GOOD GUY.
489
00:21:00,568 --> 00:21:03,141
I'M CHARLEY,
I'M NOT A GENTLEMAN.
490
00:21:03,504 --> 00:21:05,527
YOU DESERVE TO BE
WITH THE REAL THING.
491
00:21:06,285 --> 00:21:07,823
- TSK, OH.
492
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,321
WHY, CHARLEY DIETZ.
493
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:13,078
WHO'D A THOUGHT
A GUY LIKE YOU
494
00:21:13,114 --> 00:21:15,681
WOULD RESTORE
MY FAITH IN MEN?
495
00:21:15,716 --> 00:21:17,583
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
496
00:21:17,618 --> 00:21:20,686
- HEY, IF I CAN BRING OUT
THE GOODNESS
497
00:21:20,721 --> 00:21:23,816
IN A SKIRT-CHASIN'
HOUND DOG LIKE YOURSELF,
498
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:25,524
THEN MAYBE I OUGHTA GIVE
499
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:27,784
THE REST OF YOUR GENDER
ANOTHER CHANCE.
500
00:21:28,729 --> 00:21:30,172
AND THANK YOU.
501
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,839
AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
502
00:21:40,207 --> 00:21:41,931
I GOT A TABLE TO RUN.
503
00:21:46,981 --> 00:21:48,172
- HI.
504
00:21:48,301 --> 00:21:49,656
I'M SPARKLE.
505
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,150
ARE YOU ALONE?
506
00:21:51,451 --> 00:21:52,900
- NO, I'M CHARLEY.
507
00:21:54,177 --> 00:21:55,863
- YOU'RE FUNNY.
508
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,324
YOU WANNA COME BACK
TO MY PLACE AND FOOL AROUND?
509
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,392
- WELL, I DON'T THINK
THAT WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
510
00:22:00,428 --> 00:22:02,094
I MEAN, WE DON'T
EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER.
511
00:22:02,129 --> 00:22:03,510
- [giggles]
512
00:22:04,076 --> 00:22:05,573
- OH, NO.
513
00:22:06,634 --> 00:22:08,635
I CAN'T CHANGE BACK.
514
00:22:12,573 --> 00:22:14,273
- COME ON, AMIGO.
515
00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:15,708
I'LL BUY YOU A BEER.
516
00:22:15,743 --> 00:22:17,609
- ACTUALLY,
I'D PREFER A NICE CHARDONNAY.
517
00:22:17,645 --> 00:22:19,478
OH, NO!
518
00:22:19,528 --> 00:22:24,078
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