Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,148 --> 00:00:03,815
Man: Step forward and look at the camera.
2
00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:06,290
(Camera clicking)
3
00:00:18,732 --> 00:00:20,900
(Theme music playing)
4
00:00:20,934 --> 00:00:23,936
It's amazing how the unexpected
5
00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:27,039
can take your life and change direction!
6
00:00:28,248 --> 00:00:31,444
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
7
00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:40,836
So, this is jail.
8
00:00:40,871 --> 00:00:44,707
It's not so bad.
9
00:00:44,741 --> 00:00:46,509
Steel benches...
10
00:00:46,543 --> 00:00:48,411
Concrete floors.
11
00:00:48,445 --> 00:00:49,712
There's a toilet in the corner.
12
00:00:51,815 --> 00:00:54,684
Somebody get me out of here!
13
00:00:55,719 --> 00:00:57,453
Riley, oh my God!
14
00:00:57,487 --> 00:01:00,556
daddy's okay sweetie,
he's just stuck in a very large crib.
15
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,658
Riley, you're not going to believe this...
16
00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:03,759
We're in jail!
17
00:01:05,495 --> 00:01:08,731
And I can't believe you all managed to
get yourselves arrested on Halloween.
18
00:01:08,765 --> 00:01:10,633
Tell the police I want to cut them a deal.
19
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:13,369
Okay, I'll give them names,
numbers, addresses.
20
00:01:13,403 --> 00:01:15,337
I'll wear a wire, anything, please!
21
00:01:15,372 --> 00:01:17,573
Somebody shut the little
one up before I shiv him.
22
00:01:17,607 --> 00:01:20,810
Riley, please, just work your legal
magic and get us all out of here.
23
00:01:20,844 --> 00:01:25,381
I'm sorry, but no amount of lawyering
will make any of this go away.
24
00:01:25,415 --> 00:01:26,816
Assaulting a police officer...
25
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,584
Resisting arrest...
26
00:01:28,618 --> 00:01:30,352
Indecent exposure...
27
00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:31,787
And Mrs. Wheeler...
28
00:01:31,822 --> 00:01:34,790
Murder? Seriously?
29
00:01:34,825 --> 00:01:37,526
Not my best day.
30
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:38,828
Riley, I know it sounds bad,
31
00:01:38,862 --> 00:01:40,396
but please, just hear us out?
32
00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:41,664
I can explain everything.
33
00:01:41,698 --> 00:01:42,832
I'm listening.
34
00:01:42,866 --> 00:01:44,600
It all started this morning.
35
00:01:44,634 --> 00:01:45,601
You know, you were there.
36
00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:52,508
Okay. As long as we stay on track,
37
00:01:52,542 --> 00:01:54,677
I think we can meet all of
our Halloween party goals.
38
00:01:54,711 --> 00:01:55,711
Tucker, costume check?
39
00:01:55,746 --> 00:01:57,747
Oh, well, much like the ladies,
40
00:01:57,781 --> 00:01:59,548
all we gotta do is pick them up.
41
00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:01,684
Ben, tickets?
42
00:02:01,718 --> 00:02:04,353
Got 'em.
You guys, they made me sign a waiver.
43
00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:05,554
Because we could die.
44
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:07,223
Isn't that awesome?
45
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:10,359
No, just sounds like another
lame Halloween party to me.
46
00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:12,228
Oh, no, no, no, it's not just a party.
47
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,930
It's the single greatest
event this city has ever seen.
48
00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:17,833
Yeah, it's at a club downtown.
There's gonna be two dj's.
49
00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:20,536
Just in case one of them dies.
50
00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:21,504
Girls in sexy outfits.
51
00:02:21,538 --> 00:02:22,538
A costume contest.
52
00:02:22,572 --> 00:02:24,673
Oh, and did I mention girls in sexy outfits?
53
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:28,410
You guys, I think something's
wrong with your garbage disposal.
54
00:02:28,445 --> 00:02:29,378
(Motor whirs)
55
00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:31,147
(Screaming)
56
00:02:31,181 --> 00:02:32,281
Oh my God!
57
00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:37,086
(Screaming)
58
00:02:41,124 --> 00:02:43,125
- I say we roll into the party 30 minutes late.
- Yeah.
59
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,827
Okay, that was perfect.
60
00:02:44,861 --> 00:02:46,595
How could you not freak out?
61
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,931
Riley, don't you know by now,
you can't prank the wheelers?
62
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,666
The kings of Halloween.
63
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,802
Yeah,
history would prove we are unprank-able,
64
00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,670
except for that time that Uncle ned got us
65
00:02:54,704 --> 00:02:56,438
and we wound up in Mexico, but...
66
00:02:56,473 --> 00:02:58,374
That was less of a prank
and more of a kidnapping.
67
00:03:00,143 --> 00:03:02,511
Need I remind you of the
wasabi toothpaste incident,
68
00:03:02,546 --> 00:03:04,046
the bleeding doorbell,
69
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,048
or the exploding night light?
70
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:08,150
It took two months for
eyebrows to grow back.
71
00:03:10,053 --> 00:03:12,188
Well then, can we call a truce, please?
72
00:03:12,222 --> 00:03:14,757
May I extend an olive branch?
73
00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:15,758
Banana smoothie?
74
00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:18,027
Oh, that's so sweet of you, Riley.
75
00:03:18,061 --> 00:03:20,596
Uh, hey, do you mind taking the first sip?
76
00:03:22,566 --> 00:03:23,732
Seriously, Ben?
77
00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:25,501
You think I'm gonna try to prank you
78
00:03:25,535 --> 00:03:27,570
right after I just agreed not to prank you?
79
00:03:27,604 --> 00:03:29,572
Yeah, pretty much.
80
00:03:31,408 --> 00:03:32,374
Fine.
81
00:03:37,948 --> 00:03:38,914
Mmm.
82
00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:40,216
See?
83
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,217
Absolutely just...
84
00:03:41,251 --> 00:03:43,219
Oh my God, oh my God, my lips are burning!
85
00:03:43,253 --> 00:03:44,820
(Laughing)
86
00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:47,656
Ding dong, the witch ain't dead!
87
00:03:47,691 --> 00:03:48,757
What up, boos?
88
00:03:50,594 --> 00:03:52,094
Hey, mom. What is all that stuff?
89
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:55,698
Emma's goldilocks needs her three
bears for trick-or-treating tonight.
90
00:03:55,732 --> 00:03:58,367
Large, medium...
91
00:03:58,401 --> 00:03:59,368
And Tucker.
92
00:04:01,571 --> 00:04:04,473
Do you ever worry that one of these days,
a house is gonna fall on you?
93
00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:08,310
Mom, I'm not actually taking
Emma trick-or-treating.
94
00:04:08,345 --> 00:04:10,246
She has no idea what it is.
95
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,247
Right, Emma?
96
00:04:12,249 --> 00:04:14,216
See? No idea.
97
00:04:14,251 --> 00:04:17,052
Well, I would love to take Emma tonight,
98
00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:19,822
but I have a very important meeting
99
00:04:19,856 --> 00:04:22,658
with a sex God named "Javier."
100
00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:25,761
(Chattering)
101
00:04:25,795 --> 00:04:27,763
Come on, guys!
102
00:04:27,797 --> 00:04:31,533
Javier is this international
hottie that I met online.
103
00:04:31,568 --> 00:04:35,271
And we have been sending the most
romantic emails for the last six months.
104
00:04:35,305 --> 00:04:36,605
He's in town for one night.
105
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,308
And I'm having him over
so we can finally meet.
106
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,922
Well, don't you want to
meet this guy somewhere in
107
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,248
public before committing
to an evening with him?
108
00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:48,183
yeah, but that kills the mystery.
109
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:50,185
He's a random guy from the Internet.
110
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,987
What would you rather have killed,
111
00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,856
the mystery, or you?
112
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:58,427
You know,
I've never said to you before Riley, but...
113
00:04:58,461 --> 00:04:59,662
You may not be wrong.
114
00:05:01,598 --> 00:05:04,433
You know what?
I'll pre-screen him at the bar.
115
00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:06,468
Ooh, Halloween donut.
116
00:05:06,503 --> 00:05:07,536
(Excited murmuring)
117
00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:10,306
Yeah, I got freaky-fritters,
118
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:11,440
Boston screams.
119
00:05:11,474 --> 00:05:13,442
Yum, this is delicious.
120
00:05:18,848 --> 00:05:19,848
I should not have done that.
121
00:05:19,883 --> 00:05:20,950
- Probably not.
- Nope.
122
00:05:20,984 --> 00:05:22,184
(Laughing)
123
00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,185
Gotcha!
124
00:05:23,753 --> 00:05:25,988
- Every time.
- Gotcha!
125
00:05:27,691 --> 00:05:28,824
Tucker, you get the costumes?
126
00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:30,592
Don't worry Pirate Wheeler,
127
00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:32,695
I even ordered you a fake
leg to store beer in.
128
00:05:32,729 --> 00:05:35,698
Ooh, a keg-leg, all right.
129
00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,499
What are you going as tonight?
130
00:05:37,534 --> 00:05:38,701
A superhero.
131
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:40,402
I was gonna go as Dracula,
132
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:43,372
but I accidentally
swallowed my vampire teeth.
133
00:05:43,406 --> 00:05:45,541
Now I'm scared to go to the bathroom.
134
00:05:45,575 --> 00:05:48,043
Well, I'll tell you what's scary.
135
00:05:48,078 --> 00:05:50,412
Your mom and her
international man of mystery.
136
00:05:50,447 --> 00:05:53,015
I mean, what do we even know about this guy?
137
00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:55,851
Bonnie, I had a great time.
138
00:05:55,885 --> 00:05:58,921
I still don't understand how a beautiful,
blonde,
139
00:05:58,955 --> 00:06:02,558
35-year-old,
successful businesswoman is single.
140
00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:04,660
You seem too good to be true.
141
00:06:04,694 --> 00:06:06,528
(Chuckling)
142
00:06:06,563 --> 00:06:07,696
So do you,
143
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:09,665
but I'm not asking a lot of questions.
144
00:06:09,699 --> 00:06:11,300
(Giggling)
145
00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:14,169
See you tonight, Javier.
Here's a little preview.
146
00:06:18,174 --> 00:06:19,441
Ha-ha!
147
00:06:19,476 --> 00:06:21,377
Still got it.
148
00:06:21,411 --> 00:06:24,046
And if you're lucky, you will too.
149
00:06:25,849 --> 00:06:28,017
(Speaks Spanish)
150
00:06:28,051 --> 00:06:30,019
Yeah... I don't know what that means.
151
00:06:31,888 --> 00:06:33,789
Mrs. Wheeler.
152
00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:36,725
Not to be a downer,
but are you sure you can trust this guy?
153
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,495
Oh, Riley, don't be jealous.
154
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:40,863
It's not a good color on you.
155
00:06:40,897 --> 00:06:42,664
Also, that color's not a good color on you.
156
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:46,502
Besides, I totally checked him out.
157
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,504
It's just I worry about you.
158
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,539
You're like the big sister
I always wished I had.
159
00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:53,242
Aww, thanks, Riley.
160
00:06:53,276 --> 00:06:55,110
- To us?
- To us.
161
00:06:55,145 --> 00:06:56,879
Oh, I love your shoes!
162
00:06:56,913 --> 00:06:59,048
Thank you so much.
I know, I got them on sale.
163
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:02,651
Did you really?
They're so cute with those things.
164
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:08,824
- Yeah.
- Oh my God!
165
00:07:08,858 --> 00:07:10,826
Oh my God, my gums are melting!
166
00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:16,565
Ugh, what did you put in this?
167
00:07:16,599 --> 00:07:18,367
(Laughing)
168
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:19,435
To tonight!
169
00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:20,469
All: Tonight!
170
00:07:20,503 --> 00:07:24,039
All: It's gonna be the best Halloween ever!
171
00:07:26,409 --> 00:07:28,944
Worst Halloween ever.
172
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:30,779
I can't believe they canceled the party.
173
00:07:30,814 --> 00:07:32,881
Just like that, Halloween is ruined.
174
00:07:32,916 --> 00:07:35,617
Well, look on the bright side.
175
00:07:35,652 --> 00:07:38,654
You know, now we can all hang out
together and take Emma trick-or-treating.
176
00:07:40,824 --> 00:07:42,458
What?
177
00:07:42,492 --> 00:07:45,461
Riley, you can't replace something
awesome with something awe-less.
178
00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:46,695
It's simple physics.
179
00:07:48,231 --> 00:07:50,299
But you wouldn't understand since
you didn't already have plans.
180
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,034
Right, loser implied.
181
00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:54,002
Exactly.
182
00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:56,171
Okay, I could have plans if I wanted to.
183
00:07:56,206 --> 00:08:00,209
In fact, I just got invited to a huge
party downtown by a girl I work with.
184
00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:02,811
But partying with a bunch of drunken,
half-naked women
185
00:08:02,846 --> 00:08:04,079
isn't really my idea of a good time.
186
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:05,781
But it's my idea of a good time.
187
00:08:05,815 --> 00:08:07,716
Take me, take me!
188
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,918
It's really not that kind of a party.
189
00:08:09,953 --> 00:08:11,987
But, I will see you guys tonight.
190
00:08:12,522 --> 00:08:13,822
Oh, yay. This is gonna be so fun.
191
00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:15,791
Wait, somebody go after her!
192
00:08:15,825 --> 00:08:18,460
She's like an all-access pass to hotness.
193
00:08:20,663 --> 00:08:23,332
Nobody move. Nobody move.
194
00:08:23,366 --> 00:08:25,267
Look what she left behind, her phone!
195
00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:28,170
(Shouting)
196
00:08:28,204 --> 00:08:29,338
Come on, come on, come on...
197
00:08:29,372 --> 00:08:31,140
Yes, address and everything!
198
00:08:31,174 --> 00:08:32,975
(Shouting)
199
00:08:33,009 --> 00:08:34,376
Oh, I forgot my phone.
200
00:08:34,944 --> 00:08:36,311
Yeah, here it is in my hand. How convenient.
201
00:08:36,346 --> 00:08:38,847
- Oh thank you so much.
- Yeah, cool, see you later.
202
00:08:38,882 --> 00:08:40,082
Great shirt, love your pants, all right.
203
00:08:42,085 --> 00:08:44,753
Gentlemen,
let's lock and load and hit the road.
204
00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:46,955
Let's kick the tires and light the fires.
205
00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,891
Let's have some fun and...
206
00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:53,362
Argh.
Sorry, I didn't know we were each doing one.
207
00:08:53,396 --> 00:08:54,329
It's okay, man.
208
00:08:57,233 --> 00:08:59,334
We never should have gone to that party.
209
00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:00,435
Oh, by the way, we went to your party.
210
00:09:04,352 --> 00:09:05,352
Guys.
211
00:09:05,387 --> 00:09:07,488
I hold in my hand the key
212
00:09:07,522 --> 00:09:09,356
to a night of "hello, how are you?"
213
00:09:09,391 --> 00:09:12,193
And a morning of
"what do you want for breakfast?"
214
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,429
One superhero.
215
00:09:15,464 --> 00:09:18,132
Sweet! Oh, this is the only night of
the year where a man can wear tights
216
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,800
and not be totally embarrassed.
217
00:09:23,038 --> 00:09:25,039
Wow, you're gonna look so pretty.
218
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,477
No! No, no, no, no, no. What is happening?
219
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:32,713
Tucker,
why the hell am I attracted to my costume?
220
00:09:32,747 --> 00:09:35,249
Wait, there must have been some
sort of mix-up at the store.
221
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,550
How did this happen? What did you tell them?
222
00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:39,119
I told them I wanted
the costumes to be sexy.
223
00:09:40,222 --> 00:09:41,422
Why would you say that?
224
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,324
I don't know.
225
00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:45,993
Dude, we're supposed to
wear costumes to that party.
226
00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:47,261
What are we going to do now?
227
00:09:50,031 --> 00:09:54,635
Danny: Well, I guess we're just
gonna have to grin and bear it.
228
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,537
Ben: That's your last one of those, okay?
229
00:09:56,571 --> 00:10:00,441
Why? Can't bear to hear my comedy?
(Chuckles)
230
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:03,310
Beary's take a brief paws.
231
00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,548
(Knocking)
232
00:10:07,582 --> 00:10:09,250
Now remember Emma,
233
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:11,218
the trick is for you to stay quiet,
234
00:10:11,253 --> 00:10:12,453
so grandma gets a treat.
235
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,026
Well, hello little boy.
236
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,861
Would you like some candy?
237
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:22,863
By the way, tonight my name is Candy.
238
00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:25,933
That's good because I
got a giant sweet tooth.
239
00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:32,740
Is this the only exit?
240
00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:34,542
Well, there's a fire escape,
241
00:10:34,576 --> 00:10:36,477
but you gotta get past me.
242
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,678
Does anyone else know I'm here?
243
00:10:37,712 --> 00:10:40,481
Just everyone following Bonnie-Gets-Some
244
00:10:43,285 --> 00:10:45,152
I may have pre-bragged a little.
245
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,420
(Cellphone rings)
246
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,061
I told you I'm working late tonight.
247
00:10:54,095 --> 00:10:55,896
No, no, no, no, calm down.
248
00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:56,997
Of course I love you.
249
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,703
My boss.
250
00:11:02,737 --> 00:11:05,639
We're very close.
251
00:11:05,674 --> 00:11:08,576
Now, where were we, eh?
252
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:09,643
Hello!
253
00:11:09,678 --> 00:11:12,346
One Bo peep, looking for her sheep.
254
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,248
Emma-a-a-a-a-a!
255
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:16,350
Who are you?
256
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:17,785
Who is she?
257
00:11:17,819 --> 00:11:21,155
Just some desperate girl trying to
sex it up in an inappropriate costume.
258
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:23,090
I mean, come on.
259
00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:24,892
Uh, are the guys ready?
260
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,927
We're taking Emma trick-or-treating.
261
00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:29,129
Sorry, Bo,
it looks like you lost your peeps.
262
00:11:30,999 --> 00:11:32,866
They left about 20 minutes
ago for some party,
263
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,604
but feel free to take Emma
and scra-a-a-a-a-a-am.
264
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,807
A party?
265
00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:41,875
Why wouldn't they invite me?
266
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,345
Well, probably because they would have
to admit that they found your phone
267
00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:47,147
and stole the address and
are totally crashing it.
268
00:11:47,182 --> 00:11:48,315
Why would they do that?
269
00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,985
The bigger question is,
why are you still here?
270
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,087
Hello!
271
00:11:53,121 --> 00:11:55,923
Party... pooper...
272
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,926
But it's not a Halloween party.
273
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,661
It's a bachelorette party.
274
00:12:02,564 --> 00:12:03,764
Okay, so just be cool...
275
00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:05,065
And...
276
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,435
Oh my God, we must have died
in the taxi and this is heaven.
277
00:12:09,671 --> 00:12:11,639
I knew God was a dude.
278
00:12:13,408 --> 00:12:14,475
Hey, I'm Heidi,
279
00:12:14,509 --> 00:12:16,243
I was getting worried you wouldn't show.
280
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,447
Not exactly the sexiest costumes...
281
00:12:20,482 --> 00:12:22,116
But I guess you'll do.
282
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,051
Oh, sorry, there was a mix-up at the...
283
00:12:24,085 --> 00:12:25,252
Well, wait, how did you know we were coming?
284
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,920
You're the strippers, aren't you?
285
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,922
I'm sorry, there must be a slight mix-up.
286
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,991
We're not actually strippers...
287
00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,093
We're also not actually bears.
288
00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:35,896
I'm Tucker Dobbs.
289
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,766
And I think you'll find me just right.
290
00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:43,604
Um, would it be cool if we
stayed and partied anyway?
291
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,239
Um, no.
292
00:12:45,273 --> 00:12:47,341
If you're not stripping, you need to leave.
293
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,176
But if we strip, we stay?
294
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:50,477
Ya-huh.
295
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,147
Guys, quick bear huddle.
296
00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:56,083
We did not come all this way to go home now.
297
00:12:56,117 --> 00:12:57,217
- Nope.
- I think we can do this.
298
00:12:57,252 --> 00:12:58,952
- So do I.
- Okay, we in?
299
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,721
Oh, we in.
300
00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:02,690
Danny? Danny? Danny!
301
00:13:05,927 --> 00:13:07,628
Dude, wait for us!
302
00:13:11,694 --> 00:13:13,228
Javier.
303
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:16,097
Come sit down next to nurse Bonnie.
304
00:13:16,132 --> 00:13:18,133
Take your shirt off and
I'll take your temperature.
305
00:13:19,302 --> 00:13:20,302
I thought I heard something.
306
00:13:20,336 --> 00:13:21,603
Did you hear something?
307
00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:24,940
Just the sound of my youth ticking
away if we don't get to this.
308
00:13:26,075 --> 00:13:27,809
(Cellphone rings)
309
00:13:27,844 --> 00:13:29,010
That must be my boss again.
310
00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:30,011
He's very demanding.
311
00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:33,648
He's also very pretty.
312
00:13:33,683 --> 00:13:35,684
And a woman, hmm?
313
00:13:35,718 --> 00:13:40,489
Hey, listen Javier.
I wasn't born ma?ana, okay?
314
00:13:40,523 --> 00:13:42,491
All right, the nervous pacing,
315
00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:43,525
checking the exits,
316
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:45,494
mysterious phone calls from lady friends.
317
00:13:45,528 --> 00:13:49,231
And the most suspicious thing of all...
318
00:13:49,265 --> 00:13:51,233
Barely touching me.
319
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:53,134
I'm beginning to think you're a liar.
320
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:55,036
Please, I would never lie to you.
321
00:13:55,071 --> 00:13:56,738
Okay, you know what? We are done, all right?
322
00:13:56,772 --> 00:13:58,740
Habla adios my friend
323
00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:01,109
there are plenty more of
you where that came from.
324
00:14:01,143 --> 00:14:03,845
You're not the only weirdo
I've been emailing with.
325
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:05,981
Oh God.
326
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:09,684
How dare you!
327
00:14:09,719 --> 00:14:13,421
(Shouting in Spanish)
328
00:14:13,456 --> 00:14:14,456
Hi.
329
00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:17,292
Hey, Javier, I think your boss is here.
330
00:14:18,494 --> 00:14:22,264
(Arguing in Spanish)
331
00:14:23,266 --> 00:14:25,367
Tucker: Keep it simple, follow my lead,
332
00:14:25,401 --> 00:14:27,302
and don't ask why I know how to do this.
333
00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:29,905
(Dance music plays)
334
00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:35,043
(Women shouting)
335
00:15:20,856 --> 00:15:22,624
Oh no, the cops.
336
00:15:22,658 --> 00:15:25,427
They're not real cops.
They must be the real strippers.
337
00:15:25,461 --> 00:15:27,462
Ladies, I hate to be the bad guy here,
338
00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,230
but we need to shut this party down.
339
00:15:29,265 --> 00:15:30,465
(Boos)
340
00:15:30,499 --> 00:15:33,969
Hey, buddy, isn't the cop
stripper outfit a little cliche?
341
00:15:34,003 --> 00:15:36,104
Look, we can either do this the easy way
342
00:15:36,138 --> 00:15:37,172
or the hard way.
343
00:15:37,206 --> 00:15:39,841
(Women cheering)
344
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,611
Dude, we used that line a half-an-hour ago.
345
00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:43,912
We're not strippers.
346
00:15:43,946 --> 00:15:46,915
Uh, oh yeah, I think the cheap
breakaway pants say otherwise.
347
00:15:46,949 --> 00:15:48,369
Right.
348
00:15:49,268 --> 00:15:54,372
- One more time.
- You're not strippers, are you?
349
00:15:54,406 --> 00:15:57,175
No. And you're under arrest.
350
00:15:57,209 --> 00:15:59,177
Run for it!
351
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:03,047
(Arguing in Spanish)
352
00:16:03,081 --> 00:16:05,650
Guys, guys, guys!
353
00:16:05,684 --> 00:16:07,018
Either get some subtitles,
354
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,687
or get out!
355
00:16:09,721 --> 00:16:13,424
(Arguing resumes)
356
00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:14,759
I'm just gonna go out in the hallway
357
00:16:14,793 --> 00:16:17,628
and let you two lovebirds settle this alone.
358
00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:19,564
You know, feel free to break anything,
359
00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:21,232
I don't live here.
360
00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:24,535
(Arguing continues)
361
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,370
Not my best date.
362
00:16:26,405 --> 00:16:29,407
But sadly, not my worst.
363
00:16:29,441 --> 00:16:32,076
Javier: Sofia, no!
364
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,078
- (Gunshots)
- (Gasps)
365
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:35,813
Aah, oh my God!
366
00:16:37,115 --> 00:16:38,816
Oh my God!
367
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:40,685
Oh God.
368
00:16:40,719 --> 00:16:42,520
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
369
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:47,758
Hurry, call the police!
370
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:53,531
No, no, no, no, no,
you're making a big mistake.
371
00:16:53,565 --> 00:16:54,665
You got the wrong girl.
372
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,234
Okay, please don't do this.
373
00:16:56,268 --> 00:16:59,237
I'll never make it in prison. I'm too cute!
374
00:16:59,271 --> 00:17:01,372
I am a respected, registered nurse!
375
00:17:01,406 --> 00:17:04,108
I am due in the O.R. this evening!
376
00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:08,279
That's how it all went down.
377
00:17:08,313 --> 00:17:10,214
You see, Riley?
We're all completely innocent.
378
00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,750
No, none of you are innocent.
379
00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:15,553
They're pressing charges and you're
all going to be arraigned tomorrow.
380
00:17:15,587 --> 00:17:17,855
- What?!
- God, I can't believe this is happening.
381
00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,090
I should've just listened to mom
382
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,492
and taken Emma trick-or-treating
like a responsible dad.
383
00:17:21,526 --> 00:17:22,760
I'm such an idiot.
384
00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:24,729
Sorry, bro, I blame myself.
385
00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,397
Yeah, I blame Danny, too.
386
00:17:26,431 --> 00:17:28,232
I'm actually in the Ben's-an-idiot camp.
387
00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:30,301
Riley, what can we do?
388
00:17:30,335 --> 00:17:34,305
I'm sorry,
there's nothing that you can do...
389
00:17:34,339 --> 00:17:36,207
Except maybe call me...
390
00:17:36,241 --> 00:17:38,142
The queen of Halloween!
391
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:39,844
(Laughing)
392
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,145
Oh, oh, you guys look confused.
393
00:17:41,179 --> 00:17:42,847
Perhaps I can explain.
394
00:17:42,881 --> 00:17:46,751
Last Halloween, as the paramedics
were ungluing me from my bike,
395
00:17:46,785 --> 00:17:47,818
I thought to myself,
396
00:17:47,886 --> 00:17:49,987
"Riley,
you need to plan the prank of a lifetime
397
00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:52,523
that will even the score once and for all."
398
00:17:52,557 --> 00:17:53,791
Oh, still confused?
399
00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:56,527
Well, she played the part of Heidi,
400
00:17:56,561 --> 00:18:00,464
give it up for my manicurist, Tracy!
401
00:18:00,499 --> 00:18:03,200
- What?
- Whoa!
402
00:18:03,235 --> 00:18:04,602
The officers that arrested you boys?
403
00:18:04,636 --> 00:18:08,139
My friends from the courthouse,
Rick and Charlie!
404
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:09,473
- What?
- No way.
405
00:18:09,508 --> 00:18:12,209
Whoa, man, she really got you idiots.
406
00:18:12,244 --> 00:18:14,211
I got you too, Mrs. Wheeler.
407
00:18:14,246 --> 00:18:17,214
He played the part of the philandering,
international sleazeball,
408
00:18:17,249 --> 00:18:20,151
let's hear it for my dry
cleaner and wannabe-actor,
409
00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:21,852
Javier!
410
00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:23,688
I kept his real name. I liked it.
411
00:18:23,722 --> 00:18:24,789
Please, Mrs. Wheeler...
412
00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:26,290
And last, but not least,
413
00:18:26,325 --> 00:18:30,594
you know her as Sofia, the jealous
housewife with a taste for murder,
414
00:18:30,629 --> 00:18:32,697
let's hear it for my downstairs neighbor,
415
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:34,765
say hi, to Judy!
416
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,400
(Applause)
417
00:18:36,435 --> 00:18:37,735
I don't even speak Spanish.
418
00:18:39,338 --> 00:18:41,205
The six months of emails from Javier?
419
00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:42,306
Ah, yeah, that was me.
420
00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:44,208
The invitation to the
world's greatest party?
421
00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:45,343
Yup, me too.
422
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:47,278
The costume screwup, the bachelorette party?
423
00:18:47,312 --> 00:18:48,279
The stripping?
424
00:18:48,313 --> 00:18:50,014
Me, me, me!
425
00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:53,150
In fact,
the answer to all of your questions is me.
426
00:18:53,185 --> 00:18:56,253
All a part of my grand scheme
to get you Wheeler's back.
427
00:18:56,288 --> 00:18:58,789
But I'm not a Wheeler!
428
00:18:58,824 --> 00:19:00,157
Collateral damage, my friend.
429
00:19:00,192 --> 00:19:01,792
Collateral damage.
430
00:19:01,827 --> 00:19:05,996
And all I can say now is I got you good!
Yes!
431
00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:07,898
So, we're not actually arrested?
432
00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:09,567
Free to go.
433
00:19:09,601 --> 00:19:10,768
(Zzes)
434
00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:14,572
Emma. Hi, sweetie.
435
00:19:14,606 --> 00:19:17,441
Next year I promise it's just you and me,
kiddo, okay?
436
00:19:18,443 --> 00:19:20,745
I can't believe I traded my shoes for soap.
437
00:19:20,779 --> 00:19:22,580
I can't believe I sent you those pictures.
438
00:19:22,614 --> 00:19:25,416
Yeah, neither can I.
439
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:29,320
You know, Riley,
I didn't think you had it in you.
440
00:19:29,354 --> 00:19:30,488
But you didn't win.
441
00:19:30,522 --> 00:19:32,089
Sure I did!
442
00:19:32,124 --> 00:19:34,425
There is no way any of you saw that coming.
443
00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:35,459
Wait for it.
444
00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:37,294
Oh God.
445
00:19:37,329 --> 00:19:39,296
Did somebody put itching powder in my bra?
446
00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:40,331
No Riley.
447
00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,299
Somebody put itching
powder in all of your bras.
448
00:19:42,334 --> 00:19:43,367
Happy Halloween.
449
00:19:43,402 --> 00:19:45,102
Gotcha!
450
00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:47,104
No, no. No "gotcha."
451
00:19:47,139 --> 00:19:49,473
I just pulled off the greatest
prank in Halloween history.
452
00:19:49,508 --> 00:19:52,476
I win. Me. I'm the queen of Halloween.
453
00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:55,379
Enjoy your evening, your majesty.
454
00:19:55,414 --> 00:19:57,381
(Laughing)
455
00:19:57,416 --> 00:19:59,483
This took up a year of my life!
456
00:19:59,518 --> 00:20:01,185
Can I just have this one thing?
457
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:02,319
You guys always win.
458
00:20:02,354 --> 00:20:04,355
I've got those pictures Mrs. Wheeler.
459
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:09,334
You know what, guys?
460
00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:11,201
Prison changes a man.
461
00:20:12,236 --> 00:20:14,904
I hope I can adjust to life on the outside.
462
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,941
I don't know. I made a lot of friends.
463
00:20:17,975 --> 00:20:20,777
That guy Frankie said I can
come back and see him any time.
464
00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,780
What's a conjugal visit, anyway?
465
00:20:25,816 --> 00:20:28,084
All right,
it's been a long day for all of us.
466
00:20:28,118 --> 00:20:29,953
Time for our little girl to go to bed.
467
00:20:29,987 --> 00:20:31,087
Say good night, Emma.
468
00:20:31,121 --> 00:20:32,722
You look so cute.
469
00:20:32,756 --> 00:20:34,757
I love your flower.
470
00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:35,959
- (Screams)
- Oh yeah!
471
00:20:35,993 --> 00:20:39,128
- In the face!
- (Laughing)
472
00:20:39,163 --> 00:20:40,964
You gotta train 'em young.
473
00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:42,065
(Laughing)
474
00:20:42,099 --> 00:20:44,033
Squirting flower, genius.
475
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,868
I rented a warehouse!
476
00:20:45,918 --> 00:20:50,468
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33886
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
