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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:05,003
(theme song playing)
2
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(laughter)
3
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Here is your lunch, my Latka.
4
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:32,390
Now I will go to make
our apartment a home
5
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,459
and watch Richard Simmons
6
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so my body will be lean
and supple for your return.
7
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I shall fly through my day
knowing what awaits me.
8
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And I shall puke my guts out...
9
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,611
if you don't knock it off.
10
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Louie is angry
11
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because he does not
have what we have.
12
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,653
A green card?
13
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:07,592
He needs somebody to love.
14
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,727
Get out of here with the...
15
00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:14,700
And soon, he will have somebody.
16
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,768
You all will. ALEX: Hey,
17
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,303
what's this all about?
18
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:21,873
Okay, please,
listen very carefully.
19
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,708
It's difficult to explain.
20
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,144
Wow. Sounds serious.
21
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,546
It is.
22
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:32,183
I'm going to tell you
about the shloogel.
23
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,319
(Alex laughs)
24
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,121
Shloogel.
25
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,488
(laughs)
26
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:43,061
The shloogel is one of
our most sacred traditions.
27
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,029
Oh.
28
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,497
Don't laugh again.
29
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,903
A shloogel is the ceremony
30
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:56,975
where a newly married
couple shares their elation
31
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:00,478
by introducing
their closest friends
32
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,848
to the man or woman
so perfect for them
33
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,051
that they will fall so in love,
34
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,020
they will never want to part.
35
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,222
Oh. (laughs)
36
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,358
Sounds like a group blind date.
37
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,560
(Alex laughs)
38
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,895
It's not a blind date, Reiger.
39
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,431
Okay.
40
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,900
It's nothing like a blind date.
41
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,201
Right.
42
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:27,206
I have been looking for
people for two months now,
43
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,542
and I have found them.
44
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,846
Oh, I have such a
wonderful man for you, Elaine.
45
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,381
Yes! And Louie?
46
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,549
Yeah?
47
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:38,749
Perfect.
48
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:39,918
Yeah?
49
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,355
Tony, wait till you see her.
50
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,923
Ooh, ooh!
51
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:48,660
Surprise, surprise, Jim.
52
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,430
And Alex...
53
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,964
Now hold it right there.
54
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,699
You sound very sure of yourself.
55
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,936
Well, like many
people from my country,
56
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,339
I am born with the
gift to match people.
57
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,975
Comes to us naturally as eating,
58
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,478
sleeping and
disemboweling sheep.
59
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:11,783
I'm free.
60
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,017
I'm there. I'm going.
61
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,318
Hey. Great.
62
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,321
I'll go if Alex goes.
63
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,222
I'm not going.
64
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,358
Well, I sure am.
65
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,093
I'm not gonna pass this up.
66
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,460
That's it. I'm going.
67
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,062
Alex, what are
you talking about?
68
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,229
You got to go. It'll be fun.
69
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:26,398
(overlapping chatter)
70
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,586
Come on, I don't want to go!
71
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,068
No, I'm sorry, but,
uh, in this country,
72
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,204
there are still a few of
us who believe in romance
73
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,339
and chance encounters
and that old black magic.
74
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,674
And, yes, I like to think
of myself as someone
75
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:40,012
who will fight any tradition
that denies individual choice.
76
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,981
(speaking native language)
77
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,417
See, this shows
how good Simka is.
78
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:48,420
That's exactly
what your date said.
79
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:51,656
She did?
80
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,224
(speaking native language)
81
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,293
Be there or be square.
82
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,803
Everybody take a load off.
83
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,143
Now the introductions.
84
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,445
SIMKA: Hey.
85
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,846
(clears throat)
86
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:18,817
Tony Banta, this
is Vicki Destefano.
87
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,052
Tony, describe
for us, if you will...
88
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,254
How you doing?
89
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,155
Your perfect woman.
90
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:27,692
Well, blond, feminine, leggy.
91
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,061
But who cares about looks?
92
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:32,064
I mean, uh...
93
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,433
No. Look... Who
cares about looks?
94
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,235
Oh, the most important thing is
95
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,971
that they have a
great personality.
96
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,374
Vicki, now you describe
your perfect man.
97
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,743
It ain't this meatball.
98
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,514
What was that supposed to mean?
99
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,682
You heard me.
100
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,350
Yeah, I know I heard you, but...
101
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:57,088
Now there will be plenty
of time for that later.
102
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,961
All right, now Elaine Nardo,
103
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,897
this is Arnie Ross.
104
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,465
Hello. How do you do?
105
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:11,369
Elaine, we know that
you usually date the type
106
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:13,237
that's hard to catch.
107
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,106
You know, lady killers,
108
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,442
handsome rogues
who can wrap women
109
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,744
around their little finger.
110
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,181
So they found you one.
111
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,090
You are next, Jim.
112
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,391
Oh, finally.
113
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,926
LATKA: Hey, Jim,
114
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:38,196
what is your all-time
favorite TV comedy show?
115
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,497
Oh, that's easy.
116
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,067
Uh, The Bob Newhart Show.
117
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,639
Are you a fan of The Bob...?
118
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,612
Oh!
119
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,017
Oh!
120
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:04,289
Why, you're Carol,
played by Marcia Wallace.
121
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,424
And-And you're...?
122
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,160
Jim Ignatowski as himself.
123
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,532
I bet you're curious how
we got a such a big star
124
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,636
like Marcia
Wallace for you, Jim.
125
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,837
I'm curious.
126
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,404
I'm mystified.
127
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,740
Tell him, Marcia.
128
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,108
I wanted a date.
129
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:29,914
Louie De Palma,
this is Judy Griffith.
130
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,115
(sighs)
131
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,517
Very nice to meet you.
132
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,986
Very nice to meet you.
133
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,204
How come my date's blind?
134
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,973
Glaucoma.
135
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,642
Oh, you-you think that
Simka picked a blind girl
136
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:59,510
so she could not see you?
137
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:04,949
The thought did cross my mind.
138
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,552
You may be right.
139
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:18,630
All right, Alex Reiger,
Susan McDaniel.
140
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,231
Hi.
141
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,400
Hi.
142
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,968
What are you doing, Latka?
143
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,337
Uh, I'm going to write
down the first words
144
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,373
you say to each other so in case
145
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,808
you want to repeat them
to your grandchildren.
146
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,810
Hello, grandchildren.
147
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:37,815
Simka?
148
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,017
What?
149
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,184
Great shloogel!
150
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,186
I know.
151
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,157
♪ Love ♪
152
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:50,228
♪ Exciting and new ♪
153
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:53,598
♪ Come aboard ♪
154
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:58,603
♪ We're expecting you ♪
155
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:02,673
♪ And love ♪
156
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,176
♪ Life's sweetest reward... ♪
157
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,550
That's a... that's a
pretty outfit you got on.
158
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,085
Thank you.
159
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,120
Who picked it out for you?
160
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,490
I made it myself.
161
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,092
(laughs)
162
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:21,960
No, I'm serious.
163
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,428
(laughs)
164
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,996
What a wise-ass.
165
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,800
Blind people can
do all sorts of things.
166
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,002
Archery?
167
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,236
(laughs)
168
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:35,373
(laughs)
169
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:38,309
I think I may like you, Louie.
170
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,477
Oh, yeah?
171
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,812
Yeah.
172
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,214
When will you know?
173
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,949
When I decide
174
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,984
whether you're acting this
way because you sense
175
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,922
that I hate to be pitied,
or you're just gross.
176
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,924
(laughs)
177
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,701
Well, maybe it would help
178
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,336
if you told me a little
something about yourself.
179
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,872
Well, there's not much to tell.
180
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:12,543
At the moment, uh,
I'm sitting here, uh,
181
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:16,547
picturing you, uh, naked.
182
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,851
What?
183
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,453
You know, I have never
said anything like that
184
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,489
in my entire life, but
I made up my mind
185
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,591
that tonight, I was not
gonna pussy-foot around
186
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,460
like I always do and
then go home afterwards
187
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,729
and think about all the
things that I should have said.
188
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,464
At least, if I'm
gonna strike out,
189
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,967
I'm gonna go down fighting.
190
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,869
So, good night and
thank you very much.
191
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,338
Wait. Wait a minute.
Wait. No, no, no.
192
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,706
Sit down.
193
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,074
Oh, good.
194
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,076
You're gonna prolong my agony.
195
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,479
Ah, come on.
196
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:54,419
Just do that laugh you
did on the Christmas show.
197
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,889
When there was eggnog
in the water cooler?
198
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,492
Oh, all right.
199
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,826
Uh, remember, you were drunk.
200
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,295
Mm.
201
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:06,431
(laughing)
202
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,899
Ah!
203
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,870
And you never won an Emmy?
204
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,041
Hey, what's it to you
how I drink my beer?
205
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,377
Hey, I don't care how
you drink your beer.
206
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,879
Drink it any way you like.
207
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,747
I just thought it, uh...
208
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,216
it didn't look very ladylike.
209
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,019
How come every slob who manages
210
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,587
to wipe the spit off his
face thinks he knows
211
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,590
how a lady should act?
212
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,360
What are you smiling about?
213
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,362
You remind me of my mom.
214
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,800
What kind of a
childhood did you have?
215
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,936
Nice.
216
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,704
And you loved your
mother and father?
217
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,173
I loved my parents.
218
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,087
And you had a great relationship
with your brother and sister?
219
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,377
Right. (laughs)
220
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,812
And half the football team.
221
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,016
Oh, just kidding.
222
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,717
Oh. Just having a little fun.
223
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:00,985
(laughs)
224
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,386
You're wonderful.
225
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,599
You're absolutely wonderful. Oh.
226
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,523
She's absolutely wonderful.
227
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,493
You know, you haven't told
me anything about yourself.
228
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,693
Yes, I have.
229
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,996
I told you all about how
ineffectual I am with women.
230
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,764
(chuckling): Oh.
231
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,334
No, but I haven't
told you the one thing
232
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,636
that makes women really
come running after me
233
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,505
like pussycats
in a tuna factory.
234
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:21,739
(chuckles)
235
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:22,740
Oh, I know.
236
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,209
It's because you listen so well
237
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:28,045
and because you're genuinely
concerned for children.
238
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,282
No, it's because
I'm incredibly rich.
239
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,219
Hot dog, huh, honey?
240
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,888
I think it's terrible
that you think
241
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:40,525
money is the reason
women respond to you.
242
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,994
Believe it or not, I have been
having a lovely time tonight
243
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,095
because you are so, uh...
244
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:49,834
Y-you seem so decent
an-and unusual a-and dear
245
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,003
and because...
246
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,638
Woody Allen has conditioned us
247
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:57,509
to reevaluate our
concept of male beauty.
248
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,846
You seem to be saying
that you, you like me...
249
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,047
Yes. For myself.
250
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,049
Yes, that's right.
Irrespective of the money.
251
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,217
Absolutely.
252
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,353
Good, because I
lied about the money.
253
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,955
Arnie!
254
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,424
I don't want to
embarrass you, but, uh,
255
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,459
I think you're fantastic.
256
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,529
I mean, you're
not only beautiful...
257
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:21,499
you act like you don't
even know you're beautiful.
258
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,069
You know, somehow I, uh,
259
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,738
I forgot what it was to feel
260
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,709
the way I feel now about
meeting somebody new.
261
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:35,813
What a difference a couple
of hours can make, huh?
262
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,483
Suddenly I'm afraid of dying.
263
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,485
Thank you.
264
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:46,123
That's... that's
always nice to hear.
265
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,059
(laughs)
266
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,162
(laughs)
267
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,364
You're wonderful,
you're wonderful.
268
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,500
She is absolute... abso...
269
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,302
You're absolutely wonderful.
270
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,470
True, I-I can't really
enjoy a painting,
271
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,173
but I have a greater
enjoyment of things
272
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,342
that appeal to
the other senses...
273
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:09,013
Listening to music, eating
fine food, making love.
274
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,650
Whoo.
275
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:13,998
Oh, you assumed
because I'm blind
276
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:14,985
that I'm not interested
277
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,755
in what other women
are interested in.
278
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,024
N-No, I meant "whoo,"
279
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:23,328
like when a guy
hits the jackpot.
280
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,464
More wine?
281
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,533
Ah, no thanks.
282
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,135
I'll just finish what
I have in my glass.
283
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,905
Oh, okay.
284
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,179
(chuckles)
285
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,281
Good ears, good ears.
286
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:52,790
How come, out of 142 Bob
Newhart Show episodes,
287
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,626
covering the years 1972-78...
288
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:59,764
(clearing throat)
289
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,100
Only 39 stories were about you?
290
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,369
Well, I wasn't the
star of the show.
291
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,305
Really?
292
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,681
Who was the star of the show?
293
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:21,251
Bob Newhart.
294
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,755
Yeah, that's why they called
it The Bob Newhart Show.
295
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:25,890
(gasps)
296
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:28,226
This is fascinating.
297
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:35,232
This is just the kind of stuff
I was hoping we'd get into.
298
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,468
(clears throat)
299
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:43,373
Do you mind if I ask
you something else?
300
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,209
No, not at all.
301
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:49,880
I would be honored if you
would become my wife.
302
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:53,284
(laughing)
303
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,987
(both laughing)
304
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,490
You're not serious.
305
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,591
Why?
306
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,326
Well, you know, if
you were serious,
307
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,296
this would just be too bizarre.
308
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,998
Uh... do you like bizarre?
309
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:15,239
Well...
310
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:24,581
Uh, actually I do, yes.
311
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,118
No, no, but wait.
312
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,652
No, you're getting
ahead of yourself,
313
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,987
far ahead of yourself.
314
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,623
I-I'm sorry.
315
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,325
It's just that a long time ago,
316
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,428
I fell in love with someone
317
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,966
who used to get
coffee for Bob and Jerry,
318
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:45,636
and now she's
here, and she's real,
319
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:50,607
and she's more beautiful
than I ever thought possible.
320
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:53,444
Golly, Jim.
321
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,746
I know.
322
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:57,749
Come on.
323
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,183
I mean, look,
324
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,351
if the guy doesn't
have the talent,
325
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,221
the least he should
do is hire a manager
326
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,422
to point out the obvious things.
327
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,291
Oh, yeah, like what?
328
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,825
Like dropping your left.
329
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,227
I don't drop my left.
330
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,340
(muttering): I don't
know what you're talk...
331
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,197
Show me your stance.
332
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,199
Come on.
333
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,300
Show me your stance.
334
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,302
(sarcastically): I'll
show you my stance.
335
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,872
All right, here's my stance.
336
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:22,873
Okay.
337
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,042
Yeah, just like... yeah. Okay.
338
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,352
You know, you're great. (laughs)
339
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,821
You know, with a little bit
more leverage out of this leg,
340
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,167
and if you threw it
like this... (screams)
341
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,390
I hit her, I hit her.
342
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,726
Tommy, I need some ice.
343
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,005
Vicki, Vicki, are you all right?
344
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,029
Are you all right, Vicki?
345
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,397
Yeah.
346
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,465
I'm lucky you're a bum.
347
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,208
I'm gonna take a big
chance with you right now.
348
00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,544
Bigger than the ones
you've already taken?
349
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,380
Oh...
350
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,983
Okay, excuse me, everyone.
351
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:10,688
Uh, it is almost 1:00,
and the shloogel must end.
352
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:11,989
ELAINE: Aw...
353
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:13,868
Can't we bend tradition
a little and stay a while?
354
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:16,327
Tradition has
nothing to do with it.
355
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:17,694
Tommy is kicking us out
356
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:21,765
and we only have time for
the last ritual of the evening.
357
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,767
What's that?
358
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:25,669
Paying the check.
359
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,104
All right, who had the pizza?
360
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,706
Oh, we did.
361
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:34,645
Oh, no, no.
362
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:37,748
All right, come on,
let's get out of here.
363
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:38,949
I'll lead you home.
364
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,284
(chuckles)
365
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:43,154
Thank you.
366
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,522
Do you two like each other?
367
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:46,991
Yeah, yeah.
368
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,125
(chuckles)
369
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,728
Yeah, we might get serious.
370
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,864
Before you know it,
371
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,800
she'll be taking me
home to meet the dog.
372
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,002
(laughs)
373
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:05,576
(indistinct chatter)
374
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,089
Good night. Oh, Latka,
Simka, thanks for everything.
375
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,545
Thanks. Thank you very much.
376
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,614
Let's go dancing at the Big Sky.
377
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:11,683
The Big Sky's a dive.
378
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,117
Let's go to the Parrot Room.
379
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,118
The Parrot Room?
380
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,319
Yeah. Are you nuts?
381
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,954
You know, you've got
some mouth on you.
382
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,222
Oh, come on.
383
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,057
Come here. (laughing):
Get your hands off me!
384
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,059
TONY: You love it, you love it.
385
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,430
Two for two.
386
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,466
Good night, Latka. Good night.
387
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:30,946
Good night, honey,
bye. Good night, Elaine.
388
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,068
ARNIE: Good night.
389
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,070
(chuckles)
390
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,338
Good night.
391
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,373
Look, if she says anything
about me tomorrow,
392
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,177
please let me know,
even if it's negative.
393
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,478
Will you stop it
with that stuff?
394
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:42,913
It's not going to be negative.
395
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:43,982
Aw...
396
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,186
You know... (clears throat)
397
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:53,190
I wrote a lyric to
your theme song.
398
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:57,027
Uh, Jim, could we just, you
know, spend five minutes
399
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,163
without talking about
The Newhart Show?
400
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,299
Good. Okay.
401
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,466
(indistinct chatter)
402
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,234
Nice to meet you; I
had a real nice time.
403
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,670
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
404
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,806
Oh, all right, sing
it, you big lug.
405
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,610
♪ Here comes Bob and Carol ♪
406
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:17,214
♪ His wife Emily
really likes him ♪
407
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:20,117
♪ He has funny
people in his group. ♪
408
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,719
Catchy. Thanks.
409
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,187
This was the best
night I've ever had.
410
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,089
Jim. Thank you.
411
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,959
BOTH: ♪ Here
comes Bob and Carol ♪
412
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:32,329
♪ His wife Emily
really likes him... ♪
413
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,598
They are singing.
414
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:38,135
Looking good, Latka.
415
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,236
Good night.
416
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,538
LATKA & SIMKA: Good night.
417
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:42,839
Listen, maybe, uh,
418
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:46,743
maybe you can tell him
that I'm not really interested.
419
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,712
Hey, come on, just
let me drive you home.
420
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,580
Oh, no, that's okay,
I'll just get a cab.
421
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,617
I am a cab.
422
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:57,121
Well... oh...
423
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,259
Thank you, uh, good night.
424
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,460
Good night, Simka.
425
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,629
Good night.
426
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:14,004
Oh, boy, you really know
how to throw a shloogel.
427
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,440
I tell you, that was
a real barn burner.
428
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:20,544
You know, everybody
fell happily in love.
429
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:24,114
Everyone turned
out just splendidly...
430
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:28,419
except Alex, but I think
he'll recover one day.
431
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,454
What do you think, Simka?
432
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:34,191
I think we're all going to die.
433
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,532
I think love is an illusion.
434
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:50,307
I think we failed with Alex,
who laughed at our traditions.
435
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:56,547
And he was right because
that girl will never see him again.
436
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,552
And so we are
frauds, my darling.
437
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,055
Oh.
438
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,723
Too bad.
439
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,462
Damn right, too bad.
440
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,174
Well, good night.
441
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,243
Night.
442
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,112
(sighs)
443
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,381
Well, ordinarily I'd ask
you for your phone number,
444
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,616
but I'd feel kind of
silly asking for that now,
445
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,552
so I'll just...
446
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:37,755
settle for the
first four digits.
447
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,060
You laughed.
448
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:45,262
That was funny.
449
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:50,701
I'm sorry.
450
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:54,171
Have you ever been in
a terrible mood all day
451
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,708
and then got a
headache and cramps,
452
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:02,179
and then had some guy
start to fall in love with you?
453
00:23:02,247 --> 00:23:05,149
Sounds rough.
454
00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:08,352
5552.
455
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:10,120
Is that the first four?
456
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:13,089
Mm-hmm.
457
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,494
And the last three are 437.
458
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,169
(chuckles)
459
00:23:34,714 --> 00:23:37,614
(theme song playing)
460
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:01,005
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
461
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:02,272
(man grumbling)
30763
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