All language subtitles for How the Gringo Stole Christmas (2023)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 OpenSubtitles.org AP stops working soon, but not for VIP members -> osdb.link/vip 2 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,802 It's four days before Christmas, 3 00:01:04,324 --> 00:01:05,543 and it's 70 degrees. 4 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,806 Only in East L.A. 5 00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:12,550 East L.A. may be thousands of miles from the North Pole, 6 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,856 but it doesn't lack Christmas spirit. 7 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,741 - Take care, son! - Always, Mom. 8 00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,091 Baby! Your lunch! 9 00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:37,357 - Thank you. - You got it. Good morning. 10 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,185 - Good morning! - Good night. 11 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,407 Dirty woman! 12 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,497 I'm not dirty, I'm clean. I spread love around. 13 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,589 ♪ I'm dreaming ♪ 14 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:54,635 ♪ Of a brown Christmas ♪ 15 00:01:54,809 --> 00:02:00,163 ♪ Just like the ones in Mexico ♪ 16 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:07,387 ♪ Just like every wetback in town ♪ 17 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,173 ♪ I miss the cockfight season ♪ 18 00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,479 In the North Pole they have little helpers 19 00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:14,481 that do all the hard work. 20 00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:17,397 In Los Angeles, they're called Mexicans. 21 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,704 There's many stories about Christmas, 22 00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:23,186 but here is a tale that has never been told before, 23 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,449 and, perhaps, will never be forgotten. 24 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:28,365 ♪ With borrachos drinking ♪ 25 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:32,543 ♪ And police lights blinking ♪ 26 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:36,373 ♪ And you don't have no ID to show ♪ 27 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,299 Daddy's little girl is coming home for Christmas! 28 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,270 Big thanks from all of us here at Area 51 Studios. 29 00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:08,100 We hope to be bringing Alien Zombie Wars to a galaxy near you. 30 00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:10,102 Leif, what can I say? 31 00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:12,076 You've exceeded every one of our expectations. 32 00:03:12,147 --> 00:03:13,845 Yes. 33 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:17,196 Not only will this satisfy every youngster's innate ADHD... 34 00:03:17,370 --> 00:03:19,764 - it's gonna bring people together 35 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,680 through some internalized rage tendencies, 36 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,725 some fantasies to fulfill right there. 37 00:03:24,899 --> 00:03:27,075 Bravo! 38 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,731 Hey... Leif? You still with us? 39 00:03:30,905 --> 00:03:33,430 Oh, I'm sorry, Toby, I, uh... 40 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,996 I gotta go. Um... 41 00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,216 I'm afraid it's an emergency. 42 00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:39,218 We were just about to discuss the contract... 43 00:03:58,411 --> 00:04:00,413 - To the woman of my dreams. 44 00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:02,023 Mm-hmm. 45 00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:03,851 I would like to spend 46 00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:05,945 my hard-earned airline miles and Christmas bonus, 47 00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:08,160 thank you very much, Alien Zombie Wars, 48 00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:10,858 to fly her to the land of dreams. 49 00:04:11,032 --> 00:04:14,079 For this holiday season, we're going to the spectacular, 50 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,647 - romantic paradise... 51 00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:19,214 - of... oh! 52 00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,565 - Um... it's okay. 53 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:24,481 It-it's just my dad. He just... 54 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,396 Somehow always has a sixth sense 55 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,938 to call at exactly the wrong moment. 56 00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:30,313 - Okay... - You were saying? 57 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,700 For the best girlfriend a geek like me could ask for... 58 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:45,023 you have won an all expenses paid trip 59 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:48,113 - down to... 60 00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,422 - You hear that? 61 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,598 That's you when you were five years old 62 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,251 at the St. Francis beauty pageant 63 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,732 before you became a big shot in New York. 64 00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:01,474 Hey, so guess what? 65 00:05:01,648 --> 00:05:04,368 You're gonna have a chance to sing your favorite Christmas song again, 66 00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,305 because I am having my first annual 67 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:09,569 Mexican Hispanic American Chicano Christmas 68 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,383 and we're so happy that you're coming home 69 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:15,227 to spend Christmas con la familia! 70 00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:16,641 - Do you wanna get that? - Um... 71 00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,710 Yeah. Mm. I'm sorry. 72 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,016 Um... I'm just gonna talk to him real quick, okay? 73 00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,390 It'll take, like, two seconds. 74 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,715 - Okay. - Yeah? Okay? 75 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:25,933 - I'll be back. - Love you. 76 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,506 What... who said I was coming home for the holidays? 77 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,074 And, Dad, I'm an assistant editor. 78 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:40,165 I-I've been working at the magazine for barely two months. 79 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:41,339 ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ 80 00:05:43,298 --> 00:05:45,779 ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ 81 00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,042 Okay, Dad? Dad? 82 00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:50,523 Christmas is in like... 83 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:54,701 Okay, you can't just spring a 3,000 mile trip on me at the last minute. 84 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,355 I have to talk to my... 85 00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,837 My boss. 86 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,317 No, no, no, here's the beautiful thing. 87 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,644 - I already called your boss and I told her... - You did what?! 88 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,820 About all the things you used to do when you were little, 89 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:09,063 how we knew you were gonna be big in fashion, 90 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:11,433 and you were dressing up los perritos and having a fashion show 91 00:06:11,457 --> 00:06:13,392 and you were nine years old, and I told her that, you know, 92 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,219 you wanted to come over here to be with your family 93 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,985 and she said that they are gonna be closed 94 00:06:18,159 --> 00:06:20,007 between Christmas and New Year's, and she didn't mind if you left a day early! 95 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,033 - ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ - Okay. 96 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,339 Um, Dad, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? 97 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,603 And here's your room. It hasn't changed. 98 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,648 Oh, he said hey! Doggie, say Merry Christmas! 99 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,737 - Bye! Mm-hmm. 100 00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,347 Mm-hmm. I'm hanging up now, okay? 101 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,021 - I'm hanging up. - I can't hear you. Huh? 102 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,003 - Bye-bye. - Hurry up... 103 00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:38,397 Oh, no. 104 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,451 Can you believe him? Did you hear that? 105 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,540 He wants me to go spend the holidays with them. 106 00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,411 - He... - I know. It's... 107 00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:54,761 Well, do you wanna hear something amazing? 108 00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:57,495 That's exactly where I was planning on taking us for the holidays. 109 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,855 Wha... 110 00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:04,467 To spend them with my family in East L.A.? 111 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,078 That's your idea of the "ultimate romantic paradise"? 112 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,950 No, well, I know how important family is to you, 113 00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:12,475 so actually what better gift 114 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,738 to a girl who lives so far from home? 115 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,914 - You're kidding, right? 116 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,196 - I'm totally joking, yeah. - Oh, okay, I was gonna say. 117 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,048 - 'Cause that's crazy. - I'm actually... 118 00:07:21,222 --> 00:07:22,920 I'm not joking. Look, I got the tickets. 119 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,704 - What? No, you didn't. - Yeah. 120 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,011 - No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did. 121 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,756 Um... I mean... 122 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,541 I mean, I do miss them. 123 00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,325 But, babe, I'm not gonna wish 124 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,371 spending Christmas with my family upon anyone. 125 00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,939 Look, I just wanna make you happy. You know? 126 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,681 Would spending the holidays with your family make you happy? 127 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,421 Yeah. 128 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,298 - We're doing this? - Yes. 129 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,039 - Are you sure? - Yes! 130 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:57,911 - A hundred percent? Positive? - Yeah. 131 00:07:58,085 --> 00:08:00,629 I mean, call your dad back and tell him you got a new boyfriend or... 132 00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:03,134 - Um... - It's like he doesn't know I exist, so... 133 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,440 It's okay, don't worry. 134 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:09,793 - My Dad loves surprises. 135 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,667 I hate surprises. 136 00:08:14,841 --> 00:08:16,060 Take this check, 137 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:19,019 take that gift, give it to your mom. 138 00:08:19,193 --> 00:08:20,543 Heck! You don't speak! 139 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:21,718 Damn! 140 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,906 Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! 141 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,691 Happy 25th. 142 00:08:38,865 --> 00:08:40,563 No matter how you say it, 143 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,695 you can't help but to say it with a smile, 144 00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,002 but this year, 145 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,874 Christmas will come in a different shape and form, 146 00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:50,660 one that I could've never imagined, 147 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:55,012 one that would change my father's unwilling heart forever. 148 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,493 - Mr. Sanchez, my house is your house. 149 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,671 No, love. My father's house is definitely his house. 150 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:02,845 Huh? 151 00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:13,334 Am I the first White guy to set foot in this neighborhood or... 152 00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:16,120 No. No, no, no. Mm-mm. 153 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,731 Most of the police are White. 154 00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:20,994 I mean, I'm sure your dad's gonna love 155 00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,822 you bringing home a gringo boyfriend. 156 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:26,478 Aww, my beautiful gringuito! 157 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,700 My father is an equal opportunity boyfriend hater, okay? 158 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,310 'Kay. 159 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:52,330 Hey, look, it's mini-Mario Lopez. 160 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,810 Hey, what's up, ese? 161 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:56,116 What's in the box, eh? I'm hungry. 162 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:59,076 Me, too! Hey, throw me a bear claw! 163 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:02,253 Hey, fool, you're on a diet, remember? 164 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,255 No carbs, ese. 165 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,320 That's right, ese. You know how much I love conchitas. 166 00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,104 - Hey, what color, fool? - Don't tell nobody, homie, 167 00:10:08,128 --> 00:10:09,695 but the pink one, ese. 168 00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:11,455 Ah, that's what up, fool, that's what's up! 169 00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:13,039 - Want some right now? - Let's-let's go. 170 00:10:15,788 --> 00:10:17,181 Ooh. 171 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,923 Oh, my God! Good morning, miss! 172 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,186 Javier de la Torre, at your service. 173 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,622 Of course you are. 174 00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:25,668 You must be Carmencita. 175 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,321 Dummy, your mommy! 176 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,106 Hey, don't be mean. 177 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,238 - Come in! - Thank you! 178 00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:32,544 Who is it?! 179 00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:34,459 Home delivery services. 180 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,244 How are my favorite ladies on the block doing today? 181 00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:39,638 Very, very well! - Beautiful. 182 00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:42,075 I just stopped by to bring you ladies some pan dulce. 183 00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:43,969 Thought it would be good with your cafecito. 184 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,426 Who cries when given free bread? 185 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,841 - You brought my favorites! - Yes, of course! 186 00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:49,865 Yummy! 187 00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:51,389 Would you like a coffee? 188 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,000 I can't stay, I'm sorry. 189 00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,457 I'm running late for an appointment. Big remodel in Brentwood. 190 00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,178 Well, we're open 24/7. 191 00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:00,441 You are shameless! 192 00:11:00,615 --> 00:11:03,053 - I gotta run. Gabbie, see you soon! - Okay, son. 193 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,837 By the way, 194 00:11:05,011 --> 00:11:06,970 - you ladies should be arrested. - Why? 195 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,451 I heard it was against the law to look so beautiful. 196 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,891 Oh, come on! 197 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,936 This smartass. 198 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,503 I dated a guy like him once. 199 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,027 You dated someone that looks like everyone. 200 00:11:21,201 --> 00:11:23,029 Mm-hmm. 201 00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:24,441 Jeez, I told this guy to call me... 202 00:11:24,465 --> 00:11:25,771 and he text me back. 203 00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:28,034 And why don't you call him? 204 00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,515 Porque he should be calling me. 205 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:33,910 - The lawyer from last night? - No, no, no. That was Hector. 206 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:37,696 This is Fernando, the computer programmer. 207 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,524 You need a computer just to keep track. 208 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,415 - Okay, so, but... pero... - That's not a bad idea. 209 00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,746 We miss you. So, when are you arriving? 210 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,269 - Mm-hmm. 211 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,227 Very well. 212 00:11:47,401 --> 00:11:50,535 Okay? Okay, hurry. Okay. You guys, guess what? 213 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:51,884 ¿Qué? 214 00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:54,626 Mi Claudita is on her way! 215 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,108 What a beautiful surprise! 216 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,591 Check it out. My suegro's here. 217 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:04,810 That's my suegro, homie. 218 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:07,595 These losers... 219 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,162 Hey, when did you guys get out? 220 00:12:09,336 --> 00:12:10,903 Hey, vato, what's up? 221 00:12:11,077 --> 00:12:13,297 What's that? You got the cramps? 222 00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:15,928 Hey, do what my mother-in-law does. She lights a candle at night. 223 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,605 What'd you say, ese? 224 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,192 Hey, don't be disrespecting the homeboy, ese. 225 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,739 You guys disrespect this neighborhood 226 00:12:20,913 --> 00:12:22,021 every time you stand out here. Don't you guys work? 227 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,394 Y-y-y-yeah, 228 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,222 and-and Casper's working on his probation, 229 00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,833 I'm working on a new s-s-song, 230 00:12:28,007 --> 00:12:29,792 and Lucky's working on a tasty, 231 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,806 - delicious mal-mal-malt liquor. - That's right. 232 00:12:31,924 --> 00:12:34,318 That's what you guys need, more shit to make you stupid. 233 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,059 Hey, Bennie, word on the street is, 234 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,887 your daughter's coming home. 235 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,889 Yeah, she's real fine, ese. 236 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,692 Don't talk about my daughter, man. Don't look at her. 237 00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:43,196 Hey, cálmate, homes. 238 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:46,243 I bet you she's all telenovela style. 239 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,017 Them homegirls be hotter than two lizards 240 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,551 sleeping on a rock in the middle of the desert. 241 00:12:50,725 --> 00:12:52,379 The trash is Tuesday. Let me go inside 242 00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:54,947 and I'll get you some aspirin for your cramps, eh? 243 00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,210 What the hell does that mean, fool? 244 00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:59,169 I'm... 245 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,407 You saw me arriving running 246 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,825 And so maybe I'll go 247 00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,739 You should know the stories. 248 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,263 Quick, vato. 249 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,873 What's three plus four minus one, 250 00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:10,180 divided by shut the fudge up, homie? 251 00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,399 "Fudge"? "Shut the fudge up"? 252 00:13:12,573 --> 00:13:14,532 Hey, homes, what the hell was that? 253 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:17,970 I told you, ese, I quit bad words cold turkey. 254 00:13:18,144 --> 00:13:20,146 And now, I'm a born-again cholo, 255 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,757 so shut the fudge up, homie. 256 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,499 - I don't get it. - But how can you be born again? 257 00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:27,893 Ow, my head hurts. 258 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,638 - Whoa. 259 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,161 Save that pose for later. 260 00:13:35,335 --> 00:13:37,163 Ay, Bennie, you broke my Zen, hombre. 261 00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:39,620 I think you should be more concerned with breaking your back. 262 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,404 It's yoga, Bennie. You don't break your back. 263 00:13:41,515 --> 00:13:44,649 You should try it, so maybe you're more flexible in life. 264 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,564 No, no, no. Where I come from, 265 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,150 if they catch you in a position like that, you'll get beat up. 266 00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:50,002 Where do you want me to put the presents? 267 00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:51,284 Where they always go, love, under the tree. 268 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,483 Ah. 269 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,966 Ay. Ay. 270 00:13:57,140 --> 00:14:00,491 Gordo, we need to get a new tree. 271 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,319 This one is all raggedy and sparse! 272 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:03,893 It doesn't even feel like Christmas, 273 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,380 it doesn't smell like a real tree. 274 00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:08,107 Oh. Espera. Look at this. 275 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,761 Uh, "Wild forest pine. 276 00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,815 Bring the essence of the forest into your home." 277 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,678 - Ay, Benicio. 278 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:17,421 Don't waste it. We need it when you go hacer caquita. 279 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:20,235 Okay, well then, you know what? I'm gonna get a real Christmas tree. 280 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,775 A traditional Hispanic, Mexican-American Christmas tree. 281 00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:26,473 - Okay, and how's that? - Because Claudia's coming home, 282 00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,475 and as a family we're gonna have 283 00:14:28,649 --> 00:14:30,671 a traditional Hispanic Mexican American Christmas, so... 284 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,735 and it's gonna be the best Christmas ever, you know. 285 00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,351 Uh-huh. And when did you think of this 286 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,845 and why am I the last one to know? 287 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:39,138 Because you always say no. 288 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,010 - What's going on, Bennie? - Nada. 289 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:42,359 Tell me. 290 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,056 What's going on here? 291 00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,884 Is something going on? 292 00:14:46,058 --> 00:14:47,320 Tell me. 293 00:14:47,494 --> 00:14:48,669 What you thinking? 294 00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:49,975 Okay, let's see, baby. 295 00:14:51,411 --> 00:14:53,718 Mi gordito, you really miss your baby. 296 00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:55,676 Is that what this is all about, eh? 297 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,417 This is where she belongs. 298 00:14:57,591 --> 00:14:59,071 - Where? - She's so far away, you know, 299 00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:00,812 I mean, what's wrong with L.A.? 300 00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:02,379 We could see her on the weekends. 301 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,033 Remember when we used to go out and... 302 00:15:04,076 --> 00:15:05,730 Wait a second, Benito! 303 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:07,471 Not always about you. 304 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,473 She landed a big job, 305 00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,799 she's got her new gig in the fancy magazine, what she wanted. 306 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,867 Can we be happy for her? 307 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,695 Can we or no? 308 00:15:14,869 --> 00:15:16,412 - Yeah, no, I'm happy for her. - You know, yeah. 309 00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:18,236 I just wanna show her that I can plan the best 310 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,571 and most Feliz Navidad that she's ever had. 311 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:24,749 Okay, well that's good. Oh, you drive me crazy. 312 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,272 - Oh! - You drive me crazy! 313 00:15:26,446 --> 00:15:29,841 You are so stubborn! Come here! 314 00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:32,017 Ay, I love you, my yoga mama. Mira! 315 00:15:32,191 --> 00:15:34,031 - Hey, watch this. I'm gonna do it, too. - ¿Qué? 316 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,369 Okay! Let's see. Show me your skills. 317 00:15:36,543 --> 00:15:38,197 Now stretch your legs. Jeez! Wait! 318 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,199 - Cramp, cramp! - You have to warm up! 319 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,809 - Where does it hurt? - My butt! 320 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:45,204 - Where? - No, my butt! 321 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,077 - Here? Where? - There, there... 322 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,624 Hey, vatos! 323 00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:17,062 What's that fool doing? 324 00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:18,916 He's bringing Christmas to the streets, eh? 325 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,501 Hey, Bennie, what are you doing, fool? 326 00:16:20,674 --> 00:16:23,764 - Christmas ain't over yet, eh? - Merry Christmas. 327 00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:25,810 Don't smoke it. 328 00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:29,205 Hey, follow me, homie. 329 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,179 Hey, go check it out, homies. I got your back. 330 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,384 Damn, that tree is jacked up. 331 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,734 Hey, that's what's up, ese. I could take this 332 00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:39,215 to those disadvantaged, underprivileged kids, homie. 333 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:42,218 You mean h-h-h-homeless kids or orphans? 334 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,872 My kids, vato. I'm taking this home. 335 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:47,266 Vámonos, fool, before he changes his mind, ese. 336 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,616 Hey, have you ever smoked a-a Christmas tree before? 337 00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,836 - No, man. - Well, you see, it was flying reindeers 338 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,838 and dancing gingerbreads, homie. 339 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,652 Forget your kids. Let's smoke that, homie. 340 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,972 Let's go, homie. Come on. Watch out, homie. 341 00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,844 Let's go, fool. 342 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,648 Hey, don't be starting to smoke without me, ese. 343 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,326 Who got the lighter? Who got the lighter? 344 00:17:04,979 --> 00:17:07,417 Mini, we already got a mini vato. 345 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,431 Come on, m'hijo. 346 00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:26,175 Try to stay sober this year. Vamos. 347 00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:31,571 - Feliz Navidad! 348 00:17:31,745 --> 00:17:33,225 - Ah, you're home! 349 00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:35,227 Oh my God, you're home. I missed you so much. 350 00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:37,510 - I know! I missed you so much! - Oh, my God. Look at you. 351 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,990 - I have something to tell you. - I have something to tell you, too. 352 00:17:40,014 --> 00:17:43,627 - Uh-huh? - You're daddy's little girl forever. 353 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,215 - I'm so glad you're home. - No. Okay, Dad. 354 00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,328 You'll have to let go. I can't breathe. 355 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,330 - Come on. - Okay. I have a surprise for you. 356 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,464 Come back from New York, you are full of surprises! 357 00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:54,593 - Yeah! 358 00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:58,990 Mommy! 359 00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:02,080 How is my baby?! 360 00:18:04,604 --> 00:18:06,040 Wow! My baby so skinny! 361 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,694 Too much tofu in New York? 362 00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:09,479 Don't worry, we are gonna enjoy 363 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,568 plenty of tacos, chilaquiles and tortillas. 364 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,526 Um... ahem. 365 00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,441 What's going on? 366 00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:17,922 Um, okay, uh... 367 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:21,491 Ahem, Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Leif. 368 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,754 Leif, Mom and Dad. 369 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:26,452 - Your boyfriend? - Mm... 370 00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,541 ¿Un gringo? 371 00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:31,065 Hey, how are you, Sr. Sanchez? 372 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:33,590 What did he say? 373 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,374 - It's... - He meant to say hello. 374 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,309 No, no. That's fine, I just wanna hear it from him. 375 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,987 Mr. Sanchez, it's a pleasure to meet you. 376 00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,079 Pleasure to make your acquaintance. 377 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,883 - That's it! - What did he say his name was? 378 00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:48,363 - Leif. Mucho gusto. - What's that mean? 379 00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,476 I'm Gabbie, Claudita's mom. 380 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,585 Nice to meet you, and this is Carmencita, y la abuela Tita. 381 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:55,002 - Welcome, Leif! - Thank you! 382 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,590 - Welcome to the family, huerito. - Ay! Welcome to the family. 383 00:18:57,614 --> 00:19:00,312 Mr. Sanchez, thank you so much. I am so excited. 384 00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:02,086 I've never been in a Mexican home before. 385 00:19:02,227 --> 00:19:04,098 - This is crazy! 386 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,928 A Mexican's home. 387 00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:12,585 "A Mexican home." Okay. Okay. 388 00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:14,848 Family meeting in the Mexican home right now! 389 00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,546 - Ooh! 390 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,982 I mean, "a Mexican home." 391 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,636 What did he say, did you hear? 392 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,004 What does he think? We sleep on chile? 393 00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:23,074 Darn it! 394 00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:24,530 - That fool is mad-mad! - Last time I saw him that mad 395 00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,077 was when I took his lawnmower, dog. 396 00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:27,905 Got the white boy in the back. 397 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,907 Look at him. He's looking at us. 398 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,474 Not even her type, dog. 399 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,956 Thought she was into cholos. 400 00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,673 I don't like the way that fool looked at me, dog. 401 00:19:37,697 --> 00:19:39,960 So, you wanna go bang, ese? 402 00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:42,069 - I'm ready, fool. - Come on, man. Let's go jump him in. 403 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,095 I'm serious. Think he has money? 404 00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,934 Did you know about this? Did you know? 405 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,328 No, I didn't know anything. 406 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,175 We didn't know anything! You kept the secret very well! 407 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,766 - Since when? - Shh, he's gorgeous. 408 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,483 - You see? - How come you didn't tell me? 409 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,943 I... uh... 410 00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,771 I wa... I wanted it to be a surprise. 411 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,252 Yeah, that wasn't a surprise. That was an ambush. 412 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,795 You think we were surprised when the Americans went and invaded Mexico? 413 00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:14,406 And afterwards all the Mexicans are hanging out, 414 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,790 "Mira nomás, wow, what a surprise!" 415 00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:19,217 Benicio, please stop! 416 00:20:19,391 --> 00:20:21,369 - You're overreacting like a little bit. - Don't worry. 417 00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:23,395 Bring it down a notch! He's listening! 418 00:20:23,569 --> 00:20:24,918 Don't be rude to him. 419 00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:26,790 Hey, hey, he was rude to me first. 420 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,053 I wanted a Brown Christmas, not a White Christmas. 421 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,747 Okay? I wanted a traditional Christmas, 422 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,535 con las abuelas, los tíos, las tías, 423 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,798 tamales, and all your cousins playing in the street, 424 00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,366 hurting themselves, así, a Mexican Christmas. 425 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,933 How about you just... you give him a chance 426 00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,501 before you start judging him, okay? 427 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,851 Give me a chance. 428 00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:46,612 He is like a cannellini bean, among the black beans. 429 00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,420 What's un chance? Is that his dad's name? 430 00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:50,355 Next thing you know, we'll be carrying water como pendejos. 431 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:51,902 What time does the movie start? 432 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,905 Jeez! What a temper! 433 00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:01,955 Hey, nothing that a tequila can't fix. 434 00:21:02,129 --> 00:21:03,827 - Leaf. - It's Leif. 435 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,656 Uh, yes, yeah, I know. Make yourself at home, hmm? 436 00:21:09,354 --> 00:21:11,574 Mrs. Sanchez, I know this is a surprise. 437 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:14,011 - See, Mr. Sanchez, he called Claudia... - Yeah. 438 00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:16,056 Invited her home for Christmas. 439 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:17,686 - That's the only... - Yeah. No, no, no, don't worry. 440 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,321 You don't have to explain yourself. 441 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,124 The most important thing is that you're both here. 442 00:21:21,148 --> 00:21:22,933 I just wanted to surprise him. 443 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:24,907 Well, you did surprise him, m'hijita, you did. 444 00:21:24,978 --> 00:21:27,720 You even surprised la Tootsie aquí. 445 00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:31,333 You even surprised me. Why are you keeping secrets like that, huh? 446 00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:33,160 - Baby, come on. - Have a seat, Leaf. 447 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,858 - Uh, it's Leif. 448 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:36,729 Yes, I know! What an ugly name! 449 00:21:36,903 --> 00:21:38,427 - Stop. - Gracias. 450 00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:39,819 Have a seat. What? It's true! 451 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,693 He's so sweet. 452 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:46,086 - He looks like a good guy! Right? - Yes, I know. 453 00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:49,046 Okay. I have to have a serious talk with Dad. 454 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:50,961 And I have a date with a chela. 455 00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:52,876 Chela? 456 00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,747 Uh, Coachella? 457 00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:57,315 Ah [coos]... 458 00:21:57,489 --> 00:21:59,317 A chela. 459 00:21:59,491 --> 00:22:01,731 What do you want to drink? What do you want to drink, eh? 460 00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:05,497 What about a Mexican candy? 461 00:22:06,933 --> 00:22:08,195 Gracias. 462 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,589 Guys... it's gonna be okay. 463 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,504 - Yeah. 464 00:22:13,853 --> 00:22:15,493 Hey, is that fool checking me out or what? 465 00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:19,729 - What's up, ese? What's up? 466 00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,308 - Mm. 467 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:36,354 Tito. 468 00:22:36,528 --> 00:22:38,356 I feel like I'm starting 469 00:22:38,530 --> 00:22:40,314 the next Mexican American war here. 470 00:22:40,489 --> 00:22:42,621 I'm sorry, babe. 471 00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:44,449 I... I'm sorry! 472 00:22:53,719 --> 00:22:56,418 - Oh. 473 00:22:59,725 --> 00:23:02,336 I'm surprised my crib still isn't in here. 474 00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:04,121 You know, Claudia, 475 00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,925 if this is gonna be an issue with your family, 476 00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:07,429 I feel like I should probably just go. 477 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:10,823 - What? No. - Yeah. 478 00:23:10,997 --> 00:23:13,043 Come here. Come here. 479 00:23:15,262 --> 00:23:16,873 It's not my family. 480 00:23:18,352 --> 00:23:20,050 It's my father. 481 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:24,620 He just needs to get to know you 482 00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,013 in the same way that I know you. 483 00:23:29,189 --> 00:23:30,800 I love you. 484 00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:32,254 - I love you, too. - Ay, ay, ay! 485 00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:33,280 Oh, my God! 486 00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,852 I think I strained... I think I strained my back. 487 00:23:40,026 --> 00:23:43,290 Ah! I go get the Vicks. It's good for broken backs. 488 00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,945 Okay, you breathe... y ahí vas. 489 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,556 You breathe... No, espérate. 490 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:49,166 - Ay, ay, ay... 491 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:51,995 Wow, what happened to you?! 492 00:23:52,169 --> 00:23:53,997 How did you get tangled up like this? 493 00:23:54,171 --> 00:23:56,129 Don't be a jerk. Don't film this. 494 00:23:56,303 --> 00:23:58,044 - Talk to the camera, sis! - Stop, Carmen. 495 00:23:58,218 --> 00:23:59,959 Heal, heal, little frog's tail! 496 00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:01,570 - Is that better? - No, no, no, no. 497 00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:03,876 You have to breathe it in. 498 00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:07,010 - A ver, a ver, how about now? - Sí. Uh-huh. It's not helping. 499 00:24:07,184 --> 00:24:08,794 Maybe the smell helps you. 500 00:24:08,968 --> 00:24:10,368 I have to check the expiration date. 501 00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,799 Damn! Son of a gun! 502 00:24:13,973 --> 00:24:15,864 - Hey! Mamá! You okay? You okay? - No, no, no. Sí, sí. 503 00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:18,064 What happened?! Are you okay?! 504 00:24:18,238 --> 00:24:20,129 - Slow down. Okay, okay, okay. - It's nothing, baby. 505 00:24:20,153 --> 00:24:22,068 - How can I help you, Mom? - It's nothing, baby. 506 00:24:22,242 --> 00:24:24,177 - Relax, slow down... - Calm down, everyone! I'm fine! 507 00:24:24,201 --> 00:24:25,550 Slow down... 508 00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:27,084 - Hey, just... - Remember the yoga? 509 00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:28,988 - I do. - Don't break... don't, uh... 510 00:24:29,162 --> 00:24:30,575 - I know what I'm doing, - Baby, be careful, please. Okay? 511 00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:31,793 - Deep breaths, please. - Okay. Sí. 512 00:24:31,817 --> 00:24:33,210 No, you're not gonna crack me. 513 00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:34,864 I have kidney stone. Don't crack me. 514 00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,040 - I got this. - Be careful, baby, please, 515 00:24:37,214 --> 00:24:38,694 - We're gonna move you this way, okay? 516 00:24:38,824 --> 00:24:40,391 - Okay. A ver. - Let's go slowly. 517 00:24:40,565 --> 00:24:42,021 - Baby, be careful. - And she's doing so good. 518 00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:43,960 - A ver... ay... - Just breathe... 519 00:24:44,134 --> 00:24:46,310 - What the... 520 00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:48,704 - ¿Qué pasa? No, no... - What the... 521 00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:50,532 Ay, ¿que pasó? Dad! 522 00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:53,056 - What is this? - Okay, he was just helping... 523 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,450 Oh my God, he was just helping Mom with... with... with an injury from yoga. 524 00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:59,976 Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit? 525 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,934 Is it because he's White? 526 00:25:02,108 --> 00:25:03,849 Dad... 527 00:25:04,023 --> 00:25:06,373 since when do we judge people by the color of their skin? 528 00:25:09,115 --> 00:25:10,813 Hey, this isn't about the color of his skin 529 00:25:10,987 --> 00:25:12,771 or the lack of color of his skin. All right? 530 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,252 I like gringos. All right? 531 00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:18,037 Because of them, we have this amazing house in this great country. 532 00:25:18,211 --> 00:25:19,822 We have food on our table. 533 00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:22,346 I mean, I love their food. Pizza and hot dogs. 534 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,324 I mean, there's no taste, like eating cardboard. 535 00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:26,698 Hey, Dad! What's going on? 536 00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:27,872 Stop. 537 00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:34,663 How about, in front of all these witnesses, 538 00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:35,968 you make a promise... 539 00:25:38,057 --> 00:25:40,059 that you're gonna give him a chance? 540 00:25:41,626 --> 00:25:43,672 Just get to know him. 541 00:25:45,543 --> 00:25:47,763 Yeah, of course. 542 00:25:49,721 --> 00:25:50,809 - Ay. 543 00:26:07,347 --> 00:26:08,348 Hey. 544 00:26:08,522 --> 00:26:09,741 Are you feeling better? 545 00:26:12,570 --> 00:26:14,616 You need to apologize to Leaf. 546 00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:16,443 Leif. 547 00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,184 Yes! Whatever his name is. 548 00:26:18,358 --> 00:26:19,969 He is a good boy. 549 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,101 You know, he actually fixed my back. 550 00:26:22,275 --> 00:26:23,668 Look, look! 551 00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:27,280 He used to work con los estos... 552 00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,936 With these guys from NY! The chiro... practicians. 553 00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:33,286 Anyway, I feel better. 554 00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,462 Well, I didn't know. 555 00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:38,596 Y so maybe your handyboy can help us with this aqui. 556 00:26:38,770 --> 00:26:40,729 Hmm? 557 00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:43,166 - What? What is that? - What do you think? 558 00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:44,534 - It's how they did it in Mexico. - It's a Christmas tree? 559 00:26:44,558 --> 00:26:45,558 A cactus? 560 00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:46,648 Yeah! 561 00:26:46,822 --> 00:26:48,954 Benicio, really? 562 00:26:49,128 --> 00:26:51,237 Listen, does nobody care about tradition around here except me? 563 00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:53,061 It's Christmas Eve. You know where they're at? 564 00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:54,438 They are there on Christmas Eve, 565 00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:56,483 eating tofu, con ese gringo. 566 00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,331 That's why Chicanos are losing their roots. 567 00:26:58,355 --> 00:26:59,898 First, we lost California, and then Arizona, 568 00:26:59,922 --> 00:27:01,793 and then Texas, and then New Mexico. 569 00:27:01,967 --> 00:27:04,119 New Mexico, they don't even consider themselves Mexicans. 570 00:27:04,143 --> 00:27:05,623 They consider themselves New Mexicans. 571 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,190 How could you be a New Mexican? 572 00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:09,204 You know how? Because all old Mexicans are dying 573 00:27:09,366 --> 00:27:10,759 and the new ones are coming over, 574 00:27:10,933 --> 00:27:12,499 and where are they Christmas Eve? 575 00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:14,086 Eating tofu con un gringo! That's why! 576 00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,068 Okay. It is pretty. 577 00:27:16,242 --> 00:27:18,418 Am I doing everything wrong? 578 00:27:18,592 --> 00:27:21,030 No! It's pretty! Look at the little bow! So pretty. 579 00:27:22,901 --> 00:27:24,294 Pero you're changing the subject. 580 00:27:24,468 --> 00:27:25,991 You're gonna go and apologize to Leaf. 581 00:27:26,165 --> 00:27:27,863 - Leif. - Yes, that one. 582 00:27:43,182 --> 00:27:45,837 Hey, vatos. Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out. 583 00:27:46,011 --> 00:27:48,840 I think he-he... he's mad at something. 584 00:27:49,014 --> 00:27:50,494 Yeah, the foreigner. 585 00:27:50,668 --> 00:27:52,167 Say what, fool? You're from Puerto Rico. 586 00:27:52,191 --> 00:27:54,280 I'm mad at your mom for having you. 587 00:27:54,454 --> 00:27:56,258 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me school you real quick, ese. 588 00:27:56,282 --> 00:27:58,545 That is US territory, homie. 589 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,156 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. 590 00:28:00,330 --> 00:28:01,853 - No, it's not, fool. - Yes, it is. 591 00:28:02,027 --> 00:28:03,507 Hey, you put pineapple on your pizza? 592 00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,814 Oh, yeah. I love piña. 593 00:28:05,988 --> 00:28:07,511 You see? That's where you're confused. 594 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:09,165 And soon your ass is gonna be singing 595 00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,210 country music in Spanish at a rap concert. 596 00:28:11,384 --> 00:28:13,038 - What's that mean, ese? 597 00:28:13,212 --> 00:28:15,171 Says a jealous German-looking Mexican. 598 00:28:18,087 --> 00:28:19,436 Hey, what's up, dude? 599 00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:21,240 - What's up, homie? - Hey, don't be judging 600 00:28:21,264 --> 00:28:22,632 no book by the color of the sleeve, homie. 601 00:28:22,656 --> 00:28:23,656 - All right, what? 602 00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:25,964 Sleeve? These are sleeves. 603 00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,010 - Right here, homie. - That's a highlighter. 604 00:28:28,184 --> 00:28:30,624 Yeah, I could tat you up real quick, homie. Look, boom, tatted. 605 00:28:30,795 --> 00:28:32,188 What's up, Highlights? 606 00:28:32,362 --> 00:28:33,755 - Hey, don't panic, fool. 607 00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,932 - I'm Hispanic. - I guess he's organic. 608 00:28:37,106 --> 00:28:39,369 Hey, forget you fools. Put the music back on. 609 00:28:45,027 --> 00:28:48,378 - Señor Sanchez! - Ay, my eyes! 610 00:28:50,336 --> 00:28:53,644 Hey, give me the bull. Ahí te va el bull. 611 00:28:53,818 --> 00:28:55,472 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 612 00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,326 - Ahí te va el bull. - Don't get too close. 613 00:28:57,387 --> 00:28:58,799 Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out. 614 00:28:58,823 --> 00:28:59,823 Damn lights! Ahem. 615 00:29:01,130 --> 00:29:02,130 You okay? 616 00:29:04,350 --> 00:29:05,950 - I got you. - I want to say something... 617 00:29:06,091 --> 00:29:07,179 say something to you. 618 00:29:08,267 --> 00:29:10,356 Uh, sí, señor Sanchez? 619 00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:13,577 - Can you do me a favor? - Sí. 620 00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:15,231 - Can you stop calling me that? - What? 621 00:29:15,318 --> 00:29:17,102 Señor Sanchez. 622 00:29:17,276 --> 00:29:18,956 You know what? Just call me Bennie instead. 623 00:29:19,017 --> 00:29:20,889 Sure thing. Yeah. 624 00:29:21,063 --> 00:29:23,717 Hey, so, Leif, I wanted to, uh, 625 00:29:23,892 --> 00:29:27,286 I wanted to apologize to you for earlier today. I mean, I... 626 00:29:27,460 --> 00:29:30,072 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mr... Señor... Mr. Bennie, 627 00:29:30,246 --> 00:29:32,224 - it's really... it's... it... - No. No, man, listen, I... 628 00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:36,121 I mean, I thought, you know... you looked like... 629 00:29:36,295 --> 00:29:37,906 Aww, crap. 630 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,821 What the hell is this? Look at this bush! 631 00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:41,561 What a mess! - Oh, here... 632 00:29:41,735 --> 00:29:43,085 Here, I'll just... 633 00:29:43,259 --> 00:29:45,522 No, it's all messed up. 634 00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:51,963 You know, I could, uh... I could help you with that. 635 00:29:53,617 --> 00:29:54,617 Really? 636 00:29:56,272 --> 00:29:58,578 I know my way around a hedge. Yeah. 637 00:29:58,752 --> 00:29:59,971 - Really, huh? - Yeah. 638 00:30:00,145 --> 00:30:01,712 All right, don't go nowhere. Hang on. 639 00:30:03,496 --> 00:30:05,020 White boy is risking his huevos, eh? 640 00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:11,287 - Ah. Let's see. - Yeah. 641 00:30:11,461 --> 00:30:13,811 - All right. Good luck. Ahem. - Okay. 642 00:30:13,985 --> 00:30:15,508 Uh... 643 00:30:20,122 --> 00:30:21,253 All right. 644 00:30:36,616 --> 00:30:37,879 Damn. 645 00:30:40,707 --> 00:30:42,057 Damn, homie! I ain't never seen 646 00:30:42,231 --> 00:30:43,710 anything like this in my life. 647 00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:49,020 Wow! White boy gets down, eh? 648 00:30:58,508 --> 00:31:00,902 - Bring it in. - Oh, yeah. Let's go. 649 00:31:10,563 --> 00:31:12,957 Hey, he's a damn fool, ese. 650 00:31:13,131 --> 00:31:14,132 Palabra. 651 00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:20,182 Wow. 652 00:31:20,356 --> 00:31:22,010 Yeah, I think I know why that homegirl 653 00:31:22,184 --> 00:31:23,726 - fell in love with him, eh? - Mr. Bennie. 654 00:31:23,750 --> 00:31:25,100 Grass, homie. 655 00:31:30,801 --> 00:31:31,889 - Thank you. 656 00:31:32,063 --> 00:31:35,371 Yeah, here you go. 657 00:31:37,068 --> 00:31:39,549 Any time. 658 00:31:39,723 --> 00:31:42,334 Did that White boy just teach that Mexican how to landscape? 659 00:31:42,508 --> 00:31:45,555 Look, Bennie's speechless. 660 00:31:45,729 --> 00:31:47,252 Hey, fools, and what's next? 661 00:31:47,426 --> 00:31:49,211 They gonna valet park our lowriders, ¿o qué? 662 00:31:49,385 --> 00:31:51,265 Hey, he better be careful with this thing, fool. 663 00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:53,345 - Palabra. - He ain't touching my car, fool. 664 00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:03,616 What do you think? 665 00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:06,271 Um, I mean, I like all of it, except for the flags. 666 00:32:06,445 --> 00:32:07,969 - What... - What's wrong with the flag? 667 00:32:08,143 --> 00:32:09,663 Dad, it's Christmas, not Cinco de Mayo. 668 00:32:09,796 --> 00:32:12,321 Red, white and green. Jesus was Mexican. 669 00:32:12,495 --> 00:32:13,495 What? 670 00:32:13,539 --> 00:32:14,758 I never told you? 671 00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:16,455 His real name is Jesús, right? 672 00:32:16,629 --> 00:32:17,911 - Ay... - He'd ride around on a mule, 673 00:32:17,935 --> 00:32:19,371 lived at home until he was 33. 674 00:32:19,545 --> 00:32:21,105 - Mm-hmm. - Swears his mom was a virgin. 675 00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:22,603 Your tía Concha, she has seven kids 676 00:32:22,766 --> 00:32:24,811 and she swears that she's a virgin. 677 00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:27,051 Now, either she's lying or one of those kids is a Messiah. 678 00:32:27,075 --> 00:32:28,076 Okay, Dad, I love him. 679 00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:30,426 And your tío Gustavo, 680 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,794 when he was locked up in county, said he found Jesus there. 681 00:32:31,818 --> 00:32:34,169 - Everybody loves Jesus. - Dad! 682 00:32:34,343 --> 00:32:35,842 I am trying to explain something to you here so we can have a real talk, 683 00:32:35,866 --> 00:32:37,346 but you're not really listening to me. 684 00:32:37,476 --> 00:32:38,976 Is there a way that we can meet in the middle? 685 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,349 We need to have a talk, you and I. 686 00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:42,568 Wh... Do you see this? 687 00:32:42,742 --> 00:32:44,262 You're not even paying attention to me. 688 00:32:44,353 --> 00:32:45,615 Father-daughter talk. 689 00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,009 Dad, what father-daughter talk? 690 00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:51,205 When people talk to each other, they also listen to what the other has to say. 691 00:32:51,229 --> 00:32:53,101 That's what a talk is. 692 00:32:53,275 --> 00:32:54,435 Father-daughter talk. Come on. 693 00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:55,929 - ¿Qué? - Let's go. 694 00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:57,496 - Dad... Dad! 695 00:32:57,670 --> 00:32:58,715 Dad, my heels! 696 00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:01,239 Dad... Are you not gonna get my door? 697 00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,589 Uh, okay. Wow you changed. 698 00:33:03,763 --> 00:33:05,306 Cómo que change! See, in New York City, there's gentlemen. 699 00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:06,679 - Wow. - Gracias. 700 00:33:06,853 --> 00:33:08,029 All right, after you. 701 00:33:13,077 --> 00:33:15,079 This is fun. 702 00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:21,781 Okay, you know what, Dad? I wanna go home. 703 00:33:21,955 --> 00:33:23,870 Go... no! W-we... we just got here. 704 00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:26,177 What... this is your favorite place. 705 00:33:26,351 --> 00:33:29,398 What? No, it's not and it never was. 706 00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:32,227 Cómo que never was? 707 00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:34,490 What... what is this? Dad, I'm hungry. 708 00:33:34,664 --> 00:33:36,144 I want actual food. 709 00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:41,018 I¡Ay, qué rico! 710 00:33:41,192 --> 00:33:44,239 Where's he? Hola. Hola, Leaf. 711 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:48,460 Hi, Leaf, come here and dance with your tía. 712 00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:56,773 There you go. Oh, no, no, not like that. 713 00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:57,991 - No? - Oh, no. 714 00:33:58,166 --> 00:33:59,689 Feel the music. Yeah. 715 00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:02,474 Mm-hmm. 716 00:34:05,216 --> 00:34:06,826 Okay, come here. 717 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,437 Party pooper. 718 00:34:08,611 --> 00:34:09,891 Vente, Leif, don't listen to her. 719 00:34:10,003 --> 00:34:11,483 No, she's okay. 720 00:34:11,657 --> 00:34:13,877 She's the non-recovered party girl of the house. 721 00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:17,098 - Ay, so yeah... - Wow. 722 00:34:17,272 --> 00:34:19,317 Have you tried the tamales? 723 00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:21,411 - Yes, yes, I have. They're great. - Yeah? Uh-huh. 724 00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:22,730 Although I don't find many places 725 00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:24,322 that make them back east. 726 00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:26,150 Yeah, uh, you're in for a treat this year, 727 00:34:26,324 --> 00:34:28,326 porque la Grandma Tita here, 728 00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:31,112 she's making her world famous, one-of-a-kind chicken tamales. 729 00:34:31,286 --> 00:34:32,722 - Uh-huh, oh yeah. Yeah. - Oh. 730 00:34:32,896 --> 00:34:34,419 You'll know what's good. 731 00:34:34,593 --> 00:34:35,986 - That sounds great. - Yeah. 732 00:34:38,031 --> 00:34:40,469 Dad, how come you never liked any of my boyfriends? 733 00:34:40,643 --> 00:34:43,080 You didn't even like Gabriel, and he was actually a good guy, 734 00:34:43,254 --> 00:34:44,494 and he came from a good family. 735 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,822 Wait, well, who's that? Elmo? 736 00:34:45,996 --> 00:34:47,302 Elmo? 737 00:34:47,476 --> 00:34:48,738 The wetback! 738 00:34:50,261 --> 00:34:51,654 Dad! 739 00:34:52,698 --> 00:34:56,137 He was not a wetback and you called Immigration on him. 740 00:34:56,311 --> 00:34:58,095 Don't exaggerate, all right? 741 00:34:58,269 --> 00:35:00,349 All I did was yell "La migra!" and that kid took off. 742 00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:02,143 Hey, he ran across country so fast, 743 00:35:02,317 --> 00:35:04,357 if they had a border Olympics, he would've won gold. 744 00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,843 Papá, that's not funny. 745 00:35:07,017 --> 00:35:10,325 Mira, Joaquin, Frankie, Antonio. 746 00:35:10,499 --> 00:35:12,240 It's like I could never have a boyfriend 747 00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,720 because you would always just make it so hard for me. 748 00:35:16,635 --> 00:35:17,873 What the hell is it with this chicken? 749 00:35:17,897 --> 00:35:20,161 Hey, well, you... 750 00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,032 Thank you. Back to the... 751 00:35:22,206 --> 00:35:23,860 back to that cage. 752 00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,167 Um, you were too young to have boyfriends. 753 00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:27,603 Why, what now? 754 00:35:27,777 --> 00:35:28,821 What's your excuse now? 755 00:35:28,995 --> 00:35:30,693 Well, at least they're Mexicans. 756 00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:33,106 What about Javier? I know he's a little bit of a playboy, 757 00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:34,784 a little Don Juan thing going, 758 00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:36,936 but you know what, he's always been really nice to you. 759 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,571 I am a strong, independent woman 760 00:35:39,745 --> 00:35:41,791 who is capable of making her own choices. 761 00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:44,359 You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about, 762 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,578 because you're getting to the age that... 763 00:35:46,752 --> 00:35:48,841 where... 764 00:35:49,015 --> 00:35:50,669 Have you and Leif... 765 00:35:50,843 --> 00:35:52,671 I can't even believe I'm gonna say this... 766 00:35:52,845 --> 00:35:54,107 Mm. 767 00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:56,284 Has he taken your chanclas off? 768 00:35:56,458 --> 00:35:57,894 I¡Papá! 769 00:35:58,068 --> 00:35:59,722 Have you lost your mind?! 770 00:36:05,118 --> 00:36:07,295 I am 23 years old. 771 00:36:07,469 --> 00:36:09,471 I did not come here for you to tell me 772 00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:11,255 what it's like to be sin chanclas. 773 00:36:11,429 --> 00:36:12,648 That's going too far. 774 00:36:12,822 --> 00:36:13,997 - Look...! 775 00:36:14,171 --> 00:36:15,171 No, no, no, no, no! Look! 776 00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:17,696 You stupid chicken!! 777 00:36:17,870 --> 00:36:19,830 Mira, well... Hey, I've known you your whole life. 778 00:36:19,959 --> 00:36:21,309 He's known you two months. 779 00:36:21,483 --> 00:36:23,398 He's like a duck without legs! 780 00:36:37,586 --> 00:36:39,022 Hey, beautiful. 781 00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:40,719 - Javier? 782 00:36:40,893 --> 00:36:42,678 De la Torre? 783 00:36:48,945 --> 00:36:50,076 Would you look who it is? 784 00:36:50,251 --> 00:36:51,643 - Mm-mm. 785 00:36:51,817 --> 00:36:54,124 - Hi. Oh! - How are you? 786 00:36:55,256 --> 00:36:57,296 Your mom told me you were coming home for Christmas. 787 00:36:57,345 --> 00:36:59,390 I just did not think your dad 788 00:36:59,564 --> 00:37:01,150 would bring you back to this place on your first day back. 789 00:37:01,174 --> 00:37:02,698 Yeah, you and me both. 790 00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:05,178 And he thinks I'm the one who still hasn't grown up. 791 00:37:05,353 --> 00:37:06,745 Can you believe that? 792 00:37:06,919 --> 00:37:09,748 I mean, you look pretty grown to me. 793 00:37:09,922 --> 00:37:12,142 So what do you think of my girl? 794 00:37:13,186 --> 00:37:16,494 Wow, she is really pretty. 795 00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:18,627 Not as pretty as you. 796 00:37:18,801 --> 00:37:19,976 Ay. 797 00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:22,544 So, where can I take you? 798 00:37:22,718 --> 00:37:25,677 As far away from here as possible. 799 00:37:25,851 --> 00:37:27,723 Your wish is my command. 800 00:37:27,897 --> 00:37:30,203 - Hm. - After you. 801 00:37:31,422 --> 00:37:34,338 - Gracias. - Mm-hmm. 802 00:37:44,827 --> 00:37:47,133 Let's get some tacos de asada, yeah? 803 00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:48,308 Sí. 804 00:37:56,229 --> 00:37:57,883 Can't I do anything to help out? 805 00:37:58,057 --> 00:37:59,992 I feel like I'm just sort of, uh, standing around. 806 00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:02,497 - No. - You are just standing around. 807 00:38:02,671 --> 00:38:03,802 Get to work. 808 00:38:03,976 --> 00:38:04,976 - Sí, señorito. 809 00:38:05,064 --> 00:38:07,284 A. Señorita. 810 00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:10,374 Oh, that's right. Uh, a, girls, o is for boys. 811 00:38:10,548 --> 00:38:13,856 - Sí. - Señorita. Señorita. Disculpe. 812 00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:16,249 You are disculpado. Hm. 813 00:38:16,424 --> 00:38:20,471 Now, everybody in this family helps out with the cooking. 814 00:38:20,645 --> 00:38:22,604 I used to be a chef in Mexico. 815 00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:24,693 Mm, and a very good one. Mm-hmm. 816 00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:26,227 Wow, now I really can't wait to try 817 00:38:26,303 --> 00:38:28,087 your world-famous chicken tamales. 818 00:38:28,261 --> 00:38:31,656 You have to start with fresh, m'hijo. That's the secret. 819 00:38:31,830 --> 00:38:33,832 Now, Leaf, 820 00:38:34,006 --> 00:38:35,443 go into the kitchen 821 00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:38,489 and get the chicken out of the stove, please. 822 00:38:38,663 --> 00:38:42,101 - Sí, señorita. 823 00:38:42,275 --> 00:38:44,234 Dance with me! 824 00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:52,547 Damn chicken! 825 00:38:53,852 --> 00:38:55,985 Tita! At least pluck the chicken! 826 00:39:04,515 --> 00:39:05,951 Where's the chicken? 827 00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:16,919 Thank you! 828 00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,097 - Are you gonna close the door? 829 00:39:21,271 --> 00:39:23,099 You're stupid. Hi, baby. 830 00:39:23,273 --> 00:39:24,448 Hi. Hey. 831 00:39:24,622 --> 00:39:26,363 You must be Leaf. 832 00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:30,323 - I... - You're a lucky man, bro. 833 00:39:32,630 --> 00:39:34,670 This is Javier. I just told him everything about you. 834 00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:36,329 I'm sure you did. 835 00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:38,331 He's just an old friend. 836 00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:41,204 By old friend, you mean friend or friend-friend? 837 00:39:41,378 --> 00:39:44,337 - Hmm? - Have you ever seen Claudia dance salsa? 838 00:39:44,512 --> 00:39:45,948 - No. - Ay, stop it. 839 00:39:46,122 --> 00:39:48,341 My friend, you are missing out. 840 00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:49,778 Stop it. 841 00:39:49,952 --> 00:39:51,257 There's goes that F word again. 842 00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:53,651 Don't worry, huerito. 843 00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,436 She'll show you. 844 00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:57,655 I'll see you around. It was nice to meet you... 845 00:39:57,829 --> 00:40:00,136 - Twig? - Epa, Leif, I told you. 846 00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:01,659 Bye, beautiful. 847 00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:03,661 - Drive safe, okay? - Always, love. 848 00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:06,359 Sounds good, big kiss. See you later! 849 00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:09,450 Is there something I should know about? 850 00:40:09,624 --> 00:40:11,253 Because if I don't know, I don't know, but if I know... 851 00:40:11,277 --> 00:40:13,497 Yeah. Actually, there is. 852 00:40:13,671 --> 00:40:16,587 I knew it. Damn, he's handsome. 853 00:40:16,761 --> 00:40:18,633 - And he can dance, too? - What? No, no. 854 00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:20,654 - He's just an old friend. - How long have you known him? 855 00:40:20,678 --> 00:40:22,114 He's just an old friend. I told you. 856 00:40:22,288 --> 00:40:24,073 My Dad, he took me to that cheese place. 857 00:40:24,247 --> 00:40:25,683 Where is your dad? 858 00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:27,946 Probably still playing at Cheesy Chuck. 859 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,295 It's because of me, isn't it? 860 00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:31,515 Um, yeah, of course it is. 861 00:40:31,689 --> 00:40:33,493 You know, at first, I didn't think this was such a huge mistake, 862 00:40:33,517 --> 00:40:35,824 but now I'm really starting to think it is. 863 00:40:35,998 --> 00:40:37,956 You know, I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish 864 00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:39,958 - or know how to salsa. 865 00:40:40,132 --> 00:40:41,972 You know, your dad would probably be more happy 866 00:40:42,091 --> 00:40:45,137 if you were with that Javier guy instead of me. 867 00:40:45,311 --> 00:40:48,053 Ay, ay, ay. Es que you men are impossible. 868 00:40:48,227 --> 00:40:50,621 Between trying to please you and please my father, 869 00:40:50,795 --> 00:40:53,276 I just feel like I can't win, so why do I even try? 870 00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:54,770 - I just... - Where are you going? 871 00:40:54,843 --> 00:40:56,061 I-I don't know. I don't know. 872 00:40:56,235 --> 00:40:57,498 Wait! Honey. 873 00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:04,722 That was so sweet! 874 00:41:04,896 --> 00:41:06,942 - What? - i¡Cariño! 875 00:41:07,116 --> 00:41:09,031 I've never heard you say that before. 876 00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:11,642 Well, I mean, maybe I could say something right, you know. 877 00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:15,254 Well, yeah, for once. 878 00:41:15,428 --> 00:41:16,778 - Aw. 879 00:41:16,952 --> 00:41:18,519 They're... they're watching. 880 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,524 You should teach me how to salsa. 881 00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:25,874 Oh, you want me to teach you how to salsa? 882 00:41:26,048 --> 00:41:28,006 You're gonna start with your feet like this, eh? 883 00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:29,897 Okay, you know what? Forget about your feet. 884 00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:31,488 - Like this? - Let's work on the hips. 885 00:41:31,662 --> 00:41:33,422 - Okay. Like this? - Okay, a little bit. Just... 886 00:41:33,446 --> 00:41:35,120 Forget about your feet. Let's work on the hips. 887 00:41:35,144 --> 00:41:37,015 - Okay. - Okay. Uh-huh. 888 00:41:37,189 --> 00:41:38,843 A little bit of hips. - I like that. 889 00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,386 - Okay, hold my hand, baby. - Like this? 890 00:41:40,410 --> 00:41:42,412 No, my love, move your hips. 891 00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,466 - How about this? - Okay, forget about the hips. 892 00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,938 How 'bout you just twirl me and then you dip me, okay? 893 00:41:47,112 --> 00:41:48,636 Okay. Okay. 894 00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:50,439 - Do what? Wait, wait. - Twirl and then d... 895 00:41:50,463 --> 00:41:52,857 - Baby! - Um, I'm okay! 896 00:41:53,031 --> 00:41:55,468 - Seriously? - What are you guys doing? 897 00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:57,925 - I... Oh, God, how long... - Oh, I didn't mean to do that. 898 00:41:57,949 --> 00:42:00,362 I... how long have you been standing there? When did you get home? 899 00:42:00,386 --> 00:42:02,626 Long enough to see Mr. Leif doesn't know what he's doing. 900 00:42:02,693 --> 00:42:04,913 We were just... we were just having fun, Dad. 901 00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:07,524 We were just dancing. 902 00:42:07,698 --> 00:42:09,589 Dancing. Where I come from, you see a guy moving like that, you call him a pinguino. 903 00:42:09,613 --> 00:42:11,528 - Let me show you how it's done. - Here we go. 904 00:42:11,702 --> 00:42:14,836 - Here, give a little spin here, comes back. - Mm-hmm. 905 00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:17,403 When you get more advanced, you can spin her again. 906 00:42:17,578 --> 00:42:19,231 She comes to you, hi, and she comes back. 907 00:42:19,405 --> 00:42:21,407 Así, just like that. Beautiful. 908 00:42:21,582 --> 00:42:24,149 - All right, now it's your turn. - All right. 909 00:42:24,323 --> 00:42:25,629 Okay. 910 00:42:25,803 --> 00:42:27,500 No, no, not with her. With me. 911 00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:31,896 - What? - Come on. Yeah, come on. 912 00:42:32,070 --> 00:42:33,870 Hey. You have to feel it, all right, pinguino? 913 00:42:33,898 --> 00:42:35,746 Right here. You have to feel it. Do you feel it? 914 00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:37,293 - No. - Then you do a nice little turn 915 00:42:37,467 --> 00:42:38,947 - and come back. Okay. 916 00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,601 A bailar! 917 00:42:40,775 --> 00:42:42,515 - It's all about confidence, okay? - Okay. 918 00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:45,344 All right, I got you right here. 919 00:42:45,518 --> 00:42:46,737 - Okay. - Nice and ea... Ah! 920 00:42:46,911 --> 00:42:48,696 - Ah! 921 00:42:48,870 --> 00:42:50,915 Then I go into a bridge. 922 00:42:51,089 --> 00:42:53,004 And tight, tight, tight. 923 00:42:53,178 --> 00:42:55,006 Squeeze your glutes. 924 00:42:55,180 --> 00:42:56,965 - Smile. 925 00:42:57,139 --> 00:42:59,141 - Oh. - Damn! 926 00:43:00,533 --> 00:43:02,710 What happened? 927 00:43:02,884 --> 00:43:05,524 I was at Cluck-Y-Cheese with Claudia to have a father-daughter talk. 928 00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,324 She hates that place. 929 00:43:08,498 --> 00:43:09,804 Why does everybody say that? 930 00:43:09,978 --> 00:43:11,414 Bueno, y how was it? 931 00:43:13,068 --> 00:43:16,419 - What do you think? 932 00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,769 Now I know where the brown eggs come from. 933 00:43:23,687 --> 00:43:26,734 Entonces what happened? 934 00:43:26,908 --> 00:43:28,039 We got in a little argument. 935 00:43:30,259 --> 00:43:32,130 Where is she now? 936 00:43:32,304 --> 00:43:36,961 Now, she's outside dancing salsa con el gringo. 937 00:43:37,135 --> 00:43:39,660 Oh, well, that's good. 938 00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:41,313 That's great. 939 00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:43,707 Yeah. 940 00:43:45,535 --> 00:43:47,145 Okay. 941 00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:52,585 Ay... 942 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,153 And all I wanted was to have a perfect Christmas. 943 00:43:55,327 --> 00:43:59,375 - Ow, ow... 944 00:43:59,549 --> 00:44:01,159 Stupid chicken. 945 00:44:09,037 --> 00:44:10,560 - Okay, baby, 946 00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:12,649 so my Aunt Carmen is in the guest bedroom, 947 00:44:12,823 --> 00:44:14,999 but make sure that you don't go in there, 948 00:44:15,173 --> 00:44:17,872 because otherwise you'll be dancing to cumbias all night, okay? 949 00:44:19,743 --> 00:44:22,311 But I'm sure Tootsie here wouldn't mind you being 950 00:44:22,485 --> 00:44:26,010 her little bed buddy, right, Tootsie? 951 00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:32,277 Well, at least tomorrow is Christmas Eve, you know. 952 00:44:32,451 --> 00:44:35,628 I mean, what could possibly go wrong then? 953 00:44:35,803 --> 00:44:38,240 Mm, just a few Mexican ticks. 954 00:44:38,414 --> 00:44:41,591 - Yeah. 955 00:44:41,765 --> 00:44:44,594 I'll see you in the morning. 956 00:44:47,292 --> 00:44:48,903 If not before then. 957 00:44:49,077 --> 00:44:51,122 Oh. 958 00:45:01,872 --> 00:45:03,265 Yeah. 959 00:45:27,332 --> 00:45:28,986 - Let's go, baby. Come on. - Woo! 960 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,921 - Okay, I'm trying, baby. - That's my baby girl. 961 00:45:30,945 --> 00:45:32,773 Die, die! 962 00:45:32,947 --> 00:45:34,905 - Get her away from the remote. - Oh, yeah. 963 00:45:35,079 --> 00:45:37,199 - You're doing great. You learning? - She's doing fine. 964 00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:39,736 - What's this nonsense? - Oh! 965 00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:43,958 It's actually a prototype from Leif's new game that he built. Ooh! 966 00:45:44,132 --> 00:45:46,569 He actually even sold it to a big company. 967 00:45:46,743 --> 00:45:49,137 - So, you play games for a living? - I design them. 968 00:45:49,311 --> 00:45:52,749 Oh, yes! Score, huerito! Woo-hoo! 969 00:45:52,923 --> 00:45:55,012 So, pushing buttons so some space idiotas 970 00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:57,449 can kill each other is your idea of a game? 971 00:45:57,623 --> 00:45:59,234 - Of course, Dad! - Yes, brother-in-law! 972 00:45:59,408 --> 00:46:00,844 Hey, let me tell you something. 973 00:46:01,018 --> 00:46:02,778 A game isn't played in someone's living room. 974 00:46:02,846 --> 00:46:04,500 - No, no. No. Ay. 975 00:46:04,674 --> 00:46:08,025 A real game is played on a field 120 yards long 976 00:46:08,199 --> 00:46:10,723 and 80 yards deep, and it's called football. 977 00:46:10,898 --> 00:46:12,203 Do you mean soccer? 978 00:46:12,377 --> 00:46:14,162 That's what you gringos call it, okay? 979 00:46:14,336 --> 00:46:17,600 Football was invented by my Aztec ancestors 700 years ago. 980 00:46:17,774 --> 00:46:19,574 And you know what they did to you if you lost? 981 00:46:19,645 --> 00:46:22,300 - Uh, sent you to the locker room? - No, man. 982 00:46:22,474 --> 00:46:24,215 They sacrificed you to the gods. 983 00:46:24,389 --> 00:46:26,411 Ripped open your chest and they pulled out your live, 984 00:46:26,435 --> 00:46:27,653 still beating heart. 985 00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,307 - My God. - On that field, 986 00:46:29,481 --> 00:46:32,180 you became a man, an hombre, un patrón. 987 00:46:32,354 --> 00:46:34,704 - Oh, like the tequila! - Not like the tequila. 988 00:46:34,878 --> 00:46:36,532 Patrón is a boss. 989 00:46:36,706 --> 00:46:38,316 Claudia said that you're a captain, man. 990 00:46:38,490 --> 00:46:40,231 Are you a captain? 991 00:46:40,405 --> 00:46:43,017 Mm, I was the captain of my high school debate team. 992 00:46:43,191 --> 00:46:46,324 Oh, debate! Wow, sounds muy macho. 993 00:46:46,498 --> 00:46:48,152 All right, captain. 994 00:46:48,326 --> 00:46:50,763 It's time for you to play the game of the gods. 995 00:46:50,938 --> 00:46:52,156 Ignore him. 996 00:46:52,330 --> 00:46:53,786 Meet you on the field in half an hour. 997 00:46:53,810 --> 00:46:55,899 - She knows where it is. 998 00:46:56,073 --> 00:46:59,033 In... in the park? 999 00:46:59,207 --> 00:47:00,295 Ay, no. 1000 00:47:15,005 --> 00:47:18,879 Ay, ay, ay... Afternoon, huerito. 1001 00:47:19,053 --> 00:47:20,315 - Hey. 1002 00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:22,970 Did you get a good night's rest? 1003 00:47:23,144 --> 00:47:24,841 I hear you're quite the local celebrity. 1004 00:47:25,015 --> 00:47:27,017 No, man, Claudia's the one who's the rock star. 1005 00:47:28,758 --> 00:47:31,717 So you and Claudia, you, uh, know each other quite well, huh? 1006 00:47:31,892 --> 00:47:34,372 Like brother and sister, amigo. 1007 00:47:34,546 --> 00:47:37,593 You know, she does a really good in and out. 1008 00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:39,551 You should have her show you sometime. 1009 00:47:39,725 --> 00:47:42,119 - Excuse me? - Uh, it's a salsa move, 1010 00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:45,166 where you bring the lady in, and then you lead her right back out. 1011 00:47:45,340 --> 00:47:46,558 Here, let me show you, Leaf... 1012 00:47:46,732 --> 00:47:48,256 Hey! Behave! 1013 00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:50,820 - Come on. - Have a good game, huerito. 1014 00:47:50,867 --> 00:47:52,390 Twig. 1015 00:47:52,564 --> 00:47:54,392 - Sorry, babe. - Let's go, y'all. 1016 00:47:54,566 --> 00:47:55,966 This is a very dangerous game, okay? 1017 00:47:56,003 --> 00:47:57,523 So you're gonna have to follow my lead. 1018 00:47:57,656 --> 00:47:59,354 Vámonos. 1019 00:48:09,842 --> 00:48:11,192 Where'd you go, potty? 1020 00:48:11,366 --> 00:48:14,108 - ¿Qué? 1021 00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,936 Heads or tails? 1022 00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:17,459 Tails. 1023 00:48:17,633 --> 00:48:20,636 I knew you were gonna pick tails. 1024 00:48:20,810 --> 00:48:22,464 - Ah! Aguas! - I¡Eso! 1025 00:48:22,638 --> 00:48:24,553 Damnit. 1026 00:48:24,727 --> 00:48:26,729 Get ready to have a long day there, One Direction. 1027 00:48:26,903 --> 00:48:28,583 Your starting position is right here. Okay? 1028 00:48:28,687 --> 00:48:30,056 - Right here? - Yeah. You got it, baby! 1029 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,342 Come on. 1030 00:48:31,516 --> 00:48:33,736 - i¡Portero! - What do I do? 1031 00:48:33,910 --> 00:48:35,230 - Get the left side of the field! 1032 00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:37,653 Oh, this dude's got nothing, homie. Let's go. 1033 00:48:37,827 --> 00:48:39,785 Baby, don't use your hands! 1034 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,546 - Foul! You can't use your hands! - He fouled! 1035 00:48:41,570 --> 00:48:43,398 Google it! 1036 00:48:43,572 --> 00:48:45,289 - Baby, you can't use your hands, babe. - Okay! 1037 00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:46,986 - You used your your fist. - That was illegal. 1038 00:48:47,010 --> 00:48:48,969 Ha! That wasn't the only thing illegal here. 1039 00:48:49,143 --> 00:48:50,796 - Hey, give me some Vicks! - No problem. 1040 00:48:50,971 --> 00:48:53,408 I have my Vicks. 1041 00:48:53,582 --> 00:48:55,366 - I was protecting myself. - From what? 1042 00:48:55,540 --> 00:48:57,238 - From the ball. - From the soccer ball? 1043 00:48:57,412 --> 00:48:58,935 Get him a helmet. 1044 00:48:59,109 --> 00:49:00,389 Come on, stay alert, stay alert! 1045 00:49:01,851 --> 00:49:02,895 Let's do this! 1046 00:49:05,681 --> 00:49:07,509 Watch out, chaparrito, watch out, fool! 1047 00:49:07,683 --> 00:49:09,598 - Why are you running, fool? 1048 00:49:09,772 --> 00:49:11,469 - That's right! 1049 00:49:11,643 --> 00:49:13,950 - Why you move? - Goal! 1050 00:49:14,124 --> 00:49:16,039 - Keep going! - Get him, Javier! 1051 00:49:18,563 --> 00:49:19,869 Oh, damn! That's it! 1052 00:49:22,002 --> 00:49:23,786 What the hell! 1053 00:49:25,222 --> 00:49:26,963 Long live Mexicans! 1054 00:49:29,270 --> 00:49:30,967 What are you looking at, ese? 1055 00:49:33,317 --> 00:49:36,059 You are all dead! 1056 00:49:36,233 --> 00:49:37,843 To your graves, dumbasses! 1057 00:49:38,018 --> 00:49:41,064 El Mighty, you're coming to work, ese. 1058 00:49:51,901 --> 00:49:54,991 I think you killed him, fool! 1059 00:50:08,961 --> 00:50:10,963 Oh, ouch. 1060 00:50:11,921 --> 00:50:12,921 Ooh. 1061 00:50:14,576 --> 00:50:15,707 Ay. 1062 00:50:45,998 --> 00:50:47,957 Snow in East L.A.? 1063 00:50:49,872 --> 00:50:51,700 What are these fools doing out there? 1064 00:51:13,896 --> 00:51:15,898 Why isn't Grandpa here with us? 1065 00:51:18,248 --> 00:51:22,034 Oh, come sit down, sweetie. Why are you asking that question? 1066 00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:25,299 Well, grandma said the reason why he isn't here 1067 00:51:25,473 --> 00:51:27,388 is because he went to the North Pole. 1068 00:51:27,562 --> 00:51:29,216 Mm-hmm. 1069 00:51:29,390 --> 00:51:32,175 Actually, son, he went south to Mexico. 1070 00:51:32,349 --> 00:51:35,657 'Cause all he ever wanted was a Mexican Christmas. 1071 00:51:35,831 --> 00:51:38,050 Uh... there's Christmas in Mexico? 1072 00:51:38,225 --> 00:51:39,965 - Mm-hmm. - Of course, sweetie. 1073 00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:41,706 Christmas is everywhere. 1074 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,405 If there's Christmas everywhere, 1075 00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:46,233 then why isn't he here? 1076 00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,670 And also, why is he in Mexico? 1077 00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:53,240 Well, because he complained so much about living here 1078 00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:55,807 that he went back to Mexico. 1079 00:51:55,981 --> 00:51:58,723 Mm-hmm. And he lived happily ever after. 1080 00:52:00,290 --> 00:52:02,684 He has a lot of Mexican friends. 1081 00:52:02,858 --> 00:52:05,208 Is he happy? 1082 00:52:05,382 --> 00:52:09,125 He loves it. He even has a burro. 1083 00:52:10,518 --> 00:52:12,346 I'm confused, Mom. 1084 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,176 Scoot in a little bit, yeah, sweetie? Let's eat. 1085 00:52:16,350 --> 00:52:18,090 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 1086 00:52:21,355 --> 00:52:23,183 I'm sorry if I woke you up, Mr. Sanchez. 1087 00:52:25,446 --> 00:52:27,317 Is that all you're sorry about? 1088 00:52:27,491 --> 00:52:28,491 Oh... 1089 00:52:29,928 --> 00:52:31,495 Are you okay? 1090 00:52:31,669 --> 00:52:33,932 My head hurts, no thanks to you. 1091 00:52:35,978 --> 00:52:37,588 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. 1092 00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:43,899 Leif, what are you doing here? 1093 00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:47,163 It's because of Claudia. 1094 00:52:48,773 --> 00:52:50,688 Okay. 1095 00:52:50,862 --> 00:52:52,908 I know what it's like to be young, 1096 00:52:53,082 --> 00:52:55,389 and I know what you want from her, 1097 00:52:55,563 --> 00:52:58,870 so please, don't make me out to be some pendejo, okay? 1098 00:52:59,044 --> 00:53:01,364 Is that how you felt about your wife when you first met her? 1099 00:53:04,049 --> 00:53:06,226 Okay, for once, 1100 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,403 can you just please be clear about what you're trying to say? 1101 00:53:14,886 --> 00:53:16,323 Mr. Sanchez... 1102 00:53:19,413 --> 00:53:22,459 I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. 1103 00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:23,678 Leif... 1104 00:53:24,679 --> 00:53:26,239 You know, I don't wanna say the cliches, 1105 00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:28,857 like our love story began in a single glance 1106 00:53:29,031 --> 00:53:31,686 and, you know, it was at that moment that I knew... 1107 00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:34,776 that I had encountered my soulmate. 1108 00:53:34,950 --> 00:53:36,778 But that's exactly what I'm saying. 1109 00:53:39,607 --> 00:53:41,217 Mr. Sanchez. 1110 00:53:42,174 --> 00:53:43,611 Are you okay? 1111 00:54:13,075 --> 00:54:14,903 - There you are. - Hey, hey. 1112 00:54:15,077 --> 00:54:17,011 I was looking for you. You're gonna miss the piñata. 1113 00:54:17,035 --> 00:54:21,431 Oh, well, I was, um, talking to your dad. 1114 00:54:21,605 --> 00:54:23,045 Oh, is... is he okay? Did he wake up? 1115 00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:26,741 Yeah. Yeah, um, well, sort of. 1116 00:54:26,915 --> 00:54:28,046 Sort of? 1117 00:54:29,439 --> 00:54:31,267 He was a little unresponsive. 1118 00:54:31,441 --> 00:54:32,801 - Unresponsive. What... - No, um... 1119 00:54:32,877 --> 00:54:35,402 What do you mean by unresponsive? What... 1120 00:54:35,576 --> 00:54:37,882 I asked your father if I could have his permission... 1121 00:54:40,232 --> 00:54:42,017 - D-Dad? 1122 00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:44,411 Dad! Dad! 1123 00:54:44,585 --> 00:54:47,196 Is this what you mean by unresponsive? Dad! 1124 00:54:51,766 --> 00:54:54,159 All righty. Let's get this... 1125 00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:56,771 How are the tamales, Tita? 1126 00:54:56,945 --> 00:54:58,686 Is that question rhetorical? 1127 00:54:58,860 --> 00:55:00,688 Of course! I know they are fantastic! 1128 00:55:00,862 --> 00:55:02,342 Oh. 1129 00:55:02,516 --> 00:55:04,648 - Give me one, please. 1130 00:55:04,822 --> 00:55:07,172 Carmen, please bring me some spoons and some forks. 1131 00:55:07,347 --> 00:55:08,696 - Hey. - ¿Qué? 1132 00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:12,090 Do you want a "tamale hug"? 1133 00:55:12,264 --> 00:55:14,005 - What?! - A "tamale hug"? 1134 00:55:14,179 --> 00:55:16,747 - What is that? - A hug with meat inside! 1135 00:55:16,921 --> 00:55:18,488 - Ay! 1136 00:55:18,662 --> 00:55:20,316 - Girls! - Carmen! 1137 00:55:20,490 --> 00:55:23,188 That old bird, he is up to something. 1138 00:55:27,628 --> 00:55:28,846 Something. 1139 00:55:29,020 --> 00:55:31,719 What bird? 1140 00:55:54,611 --> 00:55:56,178 Over here, m'hijo! You okay? 1141 00:55:57,745 --> 00:55:59,050 We all gathered here 1142 00:55:59,224 --> 00:56:01,139 for what we thought was gonna be 1143 00:56:01,313 --> 00:56:04,186 a traditional Mexican 1144 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:08,538 Latino Chicano Christmas. 1145 00:56:08,712 --> 00:56:12,977 But because of this gringo right here... 1146 00:56:13,151 --> 00:56:14,414 Aw. 1147 00:56:14,588 --> 00:56:16,241 I lost my self-respect, 1148 00:56:16,416 --> 00:56:18,026 my dignity, 1149 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,594 and I've been humiliated in front of my family. 1150 00:56:20,768 --> 00:56:25,294 But since it's Christmas, a time to be joyful and merry, 1151 00:56:25,468 --> 00:56:28,558 I've come out here with a pasted-on smile. 1152 00:56:28,732 --> 00:56:31,126 It's a season to be happy and joyful, 1153 00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:33,084 just to tell you, cabrones, Merry Christmas! 1154 00:56:33,258 --> 00:56:34,434 Feliz Navidad. 1155 00:56:34,608 --> 00:56:36,610 Not on my tradition. 1156 00:56:38,263 --> 00:56:39,569 Not on my Christmas! 1157 00:56:39,743 --> 00:56:41,528 - Your Christmas? 1158 00:56:43,747 --> 00:56:46,315 What do you mean, your Christmas? 1159 00:56:46,489 --> 00:56:48,360 Dad, Christmas is supposed to be for everyone, 1160 00:56:48,535 --> 00:56:51,538 and you have done every possible thing to destroy it. 1161 00:56:53,365 --> 00:56:56,020 Perdóneme, señor Sanchez. 1162 00:56:58,588 --> 00:56:59,807 What did you say? 1163 00:57:02,244 --> 00:57:04,725 You know what I just said. 1164 00:57:04,899 --> 00:57:08,468 Now, you-you hear it, but you don't listen. 1165 00:57:08,642 --> 00:57:10,557 - Which is... - Um... 1166 00:57:10,731 --> 00:57:13,012 exactly why Claudia's more than kind of upset with you, 1167 00:57:13,037 --> 00:57:15,257 in case you haven't heard. 1168 00:57:15,431 --> 00:57:18,608 What gives you the right to speak to me like that in my own house? 1169 00:57:20,523 --> 00:57:23,265 Speak to you in what way? 1170 00:57:23,439 --> 00:57:25,180 It won't matter which way I speak to you, 1171 00:57:25,354 --> 00:57:26,703 because you hate this gringo. 1172 00:57:28,705 --> 00:57:30,141 You know, yet I've done everything 1173 00:57:30,315 --> 00:57:32,883 to not only be good to your daughter, 1174 00:57:33,057 --> 00:57:35,277 but to be good to your entire family. 1175 00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:41,109 You know, and not even because I had to, 1176 00:57:41,283 --> 00:57:43,677 because I wanted to. 1177 00:57:44,765 --> 00:57:47,507 You know, I danced the salsa for you guys. 1178 00:57:47,681 --> 00:57:49,857 - Yeah. - You know? 1179 00:57:50,031 --> 00:57:51,728 I played soccer. 1180 00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,209 Oh, sorry, I'm saying that wrong. Football. 1181 00:57:54,383 --> 00:57:56,777 I almost got killed by a chicken, man, 1182 00:57:56,951 --> 00:57:59,170 and I trimmed your hedges for you. 1183 00:57:59,344 --> 00:58:01,904 And I showed you respect by asking for Claudia's hand in marriage. 1184 00:58:01,999 --> 00:58:03,174 - That was out of respect. 1185 00:58:05,786 --> 00:58:07,788 Yet you show absolutely none to your own daughter, 1186 00:58:07,962 --> 00:58:10,225 but this isn't or shouldn't even be about me. 1187 00:58:10,399 --> 00:58:12,880 It should be about her. 1188 00:58:13,054 --> 00:58:16,492 If you truly loved her, 1189 00:58:16,666 --> 00:58:18,276 you wouldn't treat her this way. 1190 00:58:18,450 --> 00:58:20,888 - A ver... 1191 00:58:21,062 --> 00:58:25,457 Excuse me. A ver, he... um... 1192 00:58:25,632 --> 00:58:27,272 he asked you for Claudia's hand in marriage 1193 00:58:27,329 --> 00:58:28,959 and you didn't tell me? You didn't te... I mean, 1194 00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:31,768 maybe he got a concussion, no? 1195 00:58:31,942 --> 00:58:33,814 Did he get a concussion from the ball or what? 1196 00:58:38,122 --> 00:58:39,384 Oh, my love. 1197 00:58:39,559 --> 00:58:41,212 Is it normal to, uh... 1198 00:58:41,386 --> 00:58:43,146 to not be able to breathe properly right now? 1199 00:58:43,258 --> 00:58:46,304 Oh, my God! You look faint. 1200 00:58:46,478 --> 00:58:48,742 Are you pregnant? Let's see... 1201 00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:51,788 Okay, okay, this is a season to be merry, 1202 00:58:51,962 --> 00:58:53,834 - not to get married. - Happy holidays. 1203 00:58:55,313 --> 00:58:57,446 W... what, hey. Don't leave. 1204 00:58:57,620 --> 00:58:59,540 Don't leave until we open these goddamn presents. 1205 00:58:59,709 --> 00:59:01,276 Wow, look at you! 1206 00:59:01,450 --> 00:59:03,234 Well, that's it. 1207 00:59:03,408 --> 00:59:05,585 You got the party you wanted, no? 1208 00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:07,761 Great party! Super fun! 1209 00:59:09,414 --> 00:59:11,634 I hope you're proud of yourself, eh? 1210 00:59:11,808 --> 00:59:15,899 You completely messed up this time, Benicio! Completely! 1211 00:59:23,428 --> 00:59:24,952 Damn, vatos! 1212 00:59:25,126 --> 00:59:27,650 The-the-the-there goes the n-the-n-n-neighborhood. 1213 00:59:27,824 --> 00:59:29,826 You're the wrong guy to be saying that, ese. 1214 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,088 No, really, ese. 1215 00:59:31,262 --> 00:59:32,568 There goes the neighborhood. 1216 00:59:33,830 --> 00:59:35,484 Why they look all sad? 1217 00:59:35,658 --> 00:59:37,549 Because the party wack, fool. We weren't invited. 1218 00:59:37,573 --> 00:59:39,749 - I would've gone. Shh. - That's right, ese. 1219 00:59:39,923 --> 00:59:41,272 Wait, wait, where are you going? 1220 00:59:41,446 --> 00:59:42,926 Guys, don't go. The party... 1221 00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:44,928 Why are they leaving? 1222 00:59:45,102 --> 00:59:46,645 I don't know! The party's gonna be great! 1223 00:59:46,669 --> 00:59:47,714 Where are you going? 1224 01:00:13,043 --> 01:00:14,131 Babe... 1225 01:00:15,263 --> 01:00:16,786 your father doesn't like me. 1226 01:00:17,787 --> 01:00:20,181 Because I'm, you know. 1227 01:00:20,355 --> 01:00:22,966 - I've ruined Christmas for everyone. - No, you didn't. 1228 01:00:23,140 --> 01:00:26,753 - Yes, I did. - Babe, my family got the best present this year, 1229 01:00:26,927 --> 01:00:28,711 and that's you as my husband. 1230 01:00:28,885 --> 01:00:30,713 When I saw how close you were to your family, 1231 01:00:30,887 --> 01:00:32,865 I knew I could never propose without your father's permission. 1232 01:00:32,889 --> 01:00:34,543 Look, my dad, 1233 01:00:34,717 --> 01:00:37,415 he was just surprised by you, that's all, okay? 1234 01:00:37,589 --> 01:00:39,109 You know that's not all. I mean, you... 1235 01:00:39,156 --> 01:00:40,917 you yourself said your father liked surprises. 1236 01:00:40,941 --> 01:00:42,594 I don't even know what he likes anymore. 1237 01:00:42,769 --> 01:00:44,422 Well, we know he doesn't like gringos. 1238 01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:49,993 Babe, my father doesn't care if you're white, or red or green. 1239 01:00:50,167 --> 01:00:53,170 I'm sure he would mind if I was green. 1240 01:00:59,350 --> 01:01:01,483 My father finds a reason to not like someone 1241 01:01:01,657 --> 01:01:03,485 and then he just sticks to it, 1242 01:01:03,659 --> 01:01:05,748 even if that's not really the reason. 1243 01:01:05,922 --> 01:01:07,750 Just admit it. 1244 01:01:07,924 --> 01:01:10,535 This whole thing was a huge mistake. 1245 01:01:10,710 --> 01:01:14,975 Well, what do you mean? What thing? Like... 1246 01:01:15,149 --> 01:01:15,889 like us? 1247 01:01:16,063 --> 01:01:17,499 Your father, he... 1248 01:01:17,673 --> 01:01:19,283 he had different plans for Christmas. 1249 01:01:19,457 --> 01:01:21,546 You know, probably had different plans for your life. 1250 01:01:21,721 --> 01:01:23,611 You know, I know how close you are to your family 1251 01:01:23,635 --> 01:01:25,701 and that's why I wanted to spend Christmas with them. 1252 01:01:25,725 --> 01:01:30,164 No, no, Leif. Leif, please, don't go. 1253 01:01:30,338 --> 01:01:32,253 Leif. Leif. 1254 01:01:32,427 --> 01:01:33,733 I'm sorry. 1255 01:02:04,285 --> 01:02:06,548 Hey, perrito, stick around! 1256 01:02:06,722 --> 01:02:07,842 You guys can make this work! 1257 01:02:07,984 --> 01:02:09,812 True love prevails, eh? 1258 01:02:15,252 --> 01:02:17,080 You think I have a chance with her now? 1259 01:02:17,254 --> 01:02:18,603 Hey, you know what? 1260 01:02:18,778 --> 01:02:20,214 This for you, homie. 1261 01:02:24,566 --> 01:02:26,176 Gonna miss you in the hood, huero. 1262 01:02:29,701 --> 01:02:31,138 Peace out, homie. 1263 01:02:32,530 --> 01:02:34,750 Man. 1264 01:02:34,924 --> 01:02:37,666 I actually liked that fool, dog. 1265 01:02:50,287 --> 01:02:53,421 You know, any dad would love to have 1266 01:02:53,595 --> 01:02:55,379 a son-in-law like Leif. 1267 01:02:57,425 --> 01:02:58,992 Even if he was green like an alien. 1268 01:03:16,966 --> 01:03:21,405 Well, merry freakin' Christmas to us, huh? 1269 01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,218 - Have a good one. - Thank you. 1270 01:04:11,499 --> 01:04:13,240 Hi, m'hija. 1271 01:04:13,414 --> 01:04:15,677 Your presents are out there waiting for you. 1272 01:04:15,851 --> 01:04:17,505 I mean, we could o... 1273 01:04:17,679 --> 01:04:19,463 we could open them all together, 1274 01:04:19,637 --> 01:04:21,137 like we used to do when you were a little girl. 1275 01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:23,728 I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad, 1276 01:04:23,903 --> 01:04:25,643 whether you wanna accept it or not. 1277 01:04:25,817 --> 01:04:27,689 Okay. 1278 01:04:27,863 --> 01:04:29,710 That little girl in those pictures is my daughter. 1279 01:04:29,734 --> 01:04:32,259 No, no, Dad. I'm your daughter, okay? 1280 01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:34,304 Aquí mismo, eh? Life-sized. 1281 01:04:34,478 --> 01:04:38,047 Not everything is about you. 1282 01:04:38,221 --> 01:04:39,701 You know, why... 1283 01:04:41,442 --> 01:04:45,141 Why can't it be a boy from the neighborhood like Javier? 1284 01:04:45,315 --> 01:04:47,013 I mean, he's handsome. He's smart. 1285 01:04:47,187 --> 01:04:48,971 He's got a good job. He loves his mom, 1286 01:04:49,145 --> 01:04:50,945 - and goes to church every Sun... - And is gay. 1287 01:04:52,366 --> 01:04:54,063 He's gay? What do you mean, he's gay? 1288 01:04:54,237 --> 01:04:56,848 Yeah, Dad, that's the thing. 1289 01:04:57,023 --> 01:04:58,415 Whether you know it or not, eh? 1290 01:05:00,461 --> 01:05:04,508 I should've known because he would dance without music, and not... 1291 01:05:04,682 --> 01:05:06,032 Man, should've seen it. 1292 01:05:06,206 --> 01:05:08,338 Aparte que even if he wasn't, I wa... 1293 01:05:08,512 --> 01:05:10,950 that's not who I fell in love with. 1294 01:05:11,124 --> 01:05:12,724 And you should be able to understand that 1295 01:05:12,777 --> 01:05:14,475 because I make my own decisions. 1296 01:05:16,303 --> 01:05:19,262 And now you won't even get the chance to get to know him. 1297 01:05:22,526 --> 01:05:24,311 You broke his heart and mine. 1298 01:05:24,485 --> 01:05:27,836 No, don't say that. Don't say that. 1299 01:05:29,925 --> 01:05:32,362 He had nothing growing up, eh? 1300 01:05:32,536 --> 01:05:34,321 His parents were poor. 1301 01:05:35,322 --> 01:05:37,715 He had to wash dishes, 1302 01:05:37,889 --> 01:05:40,066 mow lawns, park cars. 1303 01:05:42,938 --> 01:05:45,549 He worked hard for everything that he had, 1304 01:05:45,723 --> 01:05:48,422 just like you did. 1305 01:05:55,646 --> 01:05:59,999 - What's that? And you know what? 1306 01:06:00,173 --> 01:06:02,566 He reminded me a lot of you. 1307 01:06:11,140 --> 01:06:14,796 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 1308 01:06:20,019 --> 01:06:24,632 That kid wasn't that bad after all, wasn't he? 1309 01:06:29,941 --> 01:06:31,378 On Christmas morning... 1310 01:06:33,989 --> 01:06:36,209 I wanted a bike like all the other little kids. 1311 01:06:37,645 --> 01:06:40,822 And when I came down to open my presents... 1312 01:06:40,996 --> 01:06:42,476 - Mm-hmm. - Bike wasn't there. 1313 01:06:42,650 --> 01:06:45,827 My dad got me a pair of handlebars 1314 01:06:46,001 --> 01:06:48,308 and then he told me that one day, you know, 1315 01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:49,762 he'd get me the rest of the bike 1316 01:06:49,918 --> 01:06:51,746 that I could put the handlebars on. 1317 01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:56,838 And he promised me training wheels. 1318 01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:00,537 And he never got me the training wheels. 1319 01:07:00,711 --> 01:07:03,801 My poor dad, he worked so hard. 1320 01:07:03,975 --> 01:07:06,413 Never got anywhere. 1321 01:07:06,587 --> 01:07:08,676 And one of the last things that he told me 1322 01:07:08,850 --> 01:07:11,983 was that Christmas was for family. 1323 01:07:12,158 --> 01:07:14,725 And that's all I wanted to do, was have a nice Christmas 1324 01:07:14,899 --> 01:07:16,399 like the ones we used to have in Mexico. 1325 01:07:16,423 --> 01:07:18,164 - Ay. - With the family 1326 01:07:18,338 --> 01:07:22,342 and... training wheels. 1327 01:07:25,258 --> 01:07:28,087 How'd he know? How'd he... how did he know? 1328 01:07:29,784 --> 01:07:31,655 Well, because I... 1329 01:07:31,829 --> 01:07:34,832 one of these days that you went to work 1330 01:07:35,006 --> 01:07:37,487 I took them shopping... 1331 01:07:37,661 --> 01:07:40,011 Santa style. Yeah. 1332 01:07:44,059 --> 01:07:48,063 But how did he find the exact ones? 1333 01:07:49,586 --> 01:07:53,895 We went to Olvera Street. Mm-hmm. 1334 01:07:54,069 --> 01:07:55,309 And you should've seen him, eh? 1335 01:07:55,418 --> 01:07:57,551 Ooh, that kid? 1336 01:07:57,725 --> 01:08:02,947 He wouldn't stop until he found them. Yeah. 1337 01:08:03,122 --> 01:08:05,907 Just because he wanted to make you smile. 1338 01:08:06,081 --> 01:08:07,735 Baby... 1339 01:08:10,303 --> 01:08:13,958 You know what you gotta do, amor, right? 1340 01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:16,309 You got your training wheels. 1341 01:08:18,311 --> 01:08:21,401 Now go out there and be a father to her. 1342 01:08:30,192 --> 01:08:31,454 I wanted to tell you 1343 01:08:31,628 --> 01:08:34,153 that... 1344 01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:35,806 that I was wrong. 1345 01:08:36,851 --> 01:08:38,418 In the business that I'm in, 1346 01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,420 you see a lot of beautiful flowers. 1347 01:08:40,594 --> 01:08:44,859 Like, s-some are very rare and delicate roses, 1348 01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:46,643 some of them I planted with my hands. 1349 01:08:48,602 --> 01:08:52,301 And it's my job to protect the roses from the weeds. 1350 01:08:52,475 --> 01:08:55,435 I thought that it was my job 1351 01:08:55,609 --> 01:08:58,612 to protect the rose from being hurt. 1352 01:08:58,786 --> 01:09:03,269 I thought that Leif was another weed 1353 01:09:03,443 --> 01:09:06,968 that was trying to keep my rose from blooming, 1354 01:09:07,142 --> 01:09:08,535 but I realize now that my rose 1355 01:09:08,709 --> 01:09:12,321 has bloomed into this incredible woman 1356 01:09:12,495 --> 01:09:16,151 and that Leif is now your protector and not me. 1357 01:09:16,325 --> 01:09:17,500 And that, you know, 1358 01:09:17,674 --> 01:09:21,112 also papi wants to say is that... 1359 01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:23,811 uh... that he... 1360 01:09:23,985 --> 01:09:27,597 he was... I mean, not on purpose. 1361 01:09:27,771 --> 01:09:31,122 He was the weed. He's been the weed. 1362 01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:35,953 And that you and Leif are roses. 1363 01:09:36,127 --> 01:09:38,521 - Yeah, roses. - Yeah. 1364 01:09:38,695 --> 01:09:40,480 And that we, as a family, 1365 01:09:40,654 --> 01:09:42,395 because we are a family, that's what we do, 1366 01:09:42,569 --> 01:09:44,658 we have to protect... somos un garden. 1367 01:09:44,832 --> 01:09:47,530 And we have to protect the roses. 1368 01:09:47,704 --> 01:09:49,576 And-and that you know, you make us so, 1369 01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:52,100 so proud every day, m'hijita. 1370 01:09:53,580 --> 01:09:55,277 Including Leaf, 1371 01:09:55,451 --> 01:09:58,367 because he's the coolest and the sweetest boyfriend 1372 01:09:58,541 --> 01:10:00,369 in all of East... East L.A. 1373 01:10:00,543 --> 01:10:02,850 Leif, pero mm. Mm-hmm. 1374 01:10:03,024 --> 01:10:04,895 We got a plane to stop! 1375 01:10:05,069 --> 01:10:06,462 But, whoa, Clau, 1376 01:10:06,636 --> 01:10:08,421 you cannot get him back dressed like that. 1377 01:10:08,595 --> 01:10:10,510 - No, that's true. - Okay. [laughs] Okay. 1378 01:10:10,684 --> 01:10:12,773 Okay, then let's go! - Let's go! 1379 01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:14,253 Come on! 1380 01:10:16,820 --> 01:10:17,820 - Hurry up! 1381 01:10:21,303 --> 01:10:22,783 Come on, let's go! Drive! 1382 01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,219 Oh, man, what the hell? 1383 01:10:24,393 --> 01:10:25,742 What? 1384 01:10:25,916 --> 01:10:27,614 - I don't have the keys! - You had them! 1385 01:10:27,788 --> 01:10:29,461 - Damn it! - I don't have them! You always... 1386 01:10:29,485 --> 01:10:30,878 Baby, you always do the same! 1387 01:10:31,052 --> 01:10:32,401 What about the vatos? 1388 01:10:32,575 --> 01:10:34,621 Yes, there they are! 1389 01:10:34,795 --> 01:10:36,275 Oh, my God! 1390 01:10:37,406 --> 01:10:39,365 - Come on! - I'm coming! 1391 01:10:39,539 --> 01:10:42,324 - Hey! Cooper! We need a ride! - I got you. 1392 01:10:42,498 --> 01:10:44,065 - Let's go! - To the airport. 1393 01:10:44,239 --> 01:10:47,286 Got you, fools, I got you, G. I got you. 1394 01:10:47,460 --> 01:10:49,375 Let's go, ladies. You guys will fit. 1395 01:10:49,549 --> 01:10:52,378 Hey, no tips. I'll accept a kiss. 1396 01:10:52,552 --> 01:10:53,901 Let's go. Come on! 1397 01:10:54,075 --> 01:10:55,772 - Amárrense! Here we go! - Hit it! 1398 01:10:57,774 --> 01:11:00,211 Woo! [laughs] I want one of these bedroom. 1399 01:11:00,386 --> 01:11:02,257 Make 'em bounce. Make 'em bounce higher, homie. 1400 01:11:02,431 --> 01:11:04,259 Make 'em bounce. 1401 01:11:04,433 --> 01:11:06,000 This is really cool. 1402 01:11:06,174 --> 01:11:08,698 Holy crap! 1403 01:11:08,872 --> 01:11:10,265 I popped my tire, fool. 1404 01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:12,833 - Ay, what? - My bad. Sorry. 1405 01:11:13,007 --> 01:11:14,269 - Now what? - Sorry, guys. 1406 01:11:14,443 --> 01:11:15,575 Sorry, man. 1407 01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:17,359 - Yo! 1408 01:11:17,533 --> 01:11:18,926 Y'all need a ride? 1409 01:11:19,100 --> 01:11:21,232 - Tell Javier yes! 1410 01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:25,648 Uh, take it back to the bottom of the ocean where it belongs. 1411 01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:27,632 We'll go steal a car. We'll meet you there, homie. 1412 01:11:29,545 --> 01:11:31,939 Your little homie learned that in prison. 1413 01:11:50,610 --> 01:11:52,351 Gate? 1414 01:11:58,748 --> 01:12:01,272 - Oh, okay. Okay. - Sorry! 1415 01:12:01,447 --> 01:12:04,275 Okay. Ay, mira, I think it's over there. 1416 01:12:04,450 --> 01:12:05,668 Come on, let's go! 1417 01:12:10,891 --> 01:12:12,564 I have to stop my son-in-law from getting... 1418 01:12:12,588 --> 01:12:14,285 Well, not yet, but getting on the plane. 1419 01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:16,375 I mean, he's my fiance. I mean, not really. 1420 01:12:16,549 --> 01:12:18,570 It's not like he proposed to me. I mean, he did propose, 1421 01:12:18,594 --> 01:12:20,572 - pero mi papá nunca told me. - You have your boarding passes? 1422 01:12:20,596 --> 01:12:22,772 You can just pat me down so I can go in. 1423 01:12:22,946 --> 01:12:24,687 I'll tell him all about it. 1424 01:12:24,861 --> 01:12:26,602 Carmela, no. Wait. - Ma'am, don't touch me. 1425 01:12:26,776 --> 01:12:28,648 Please, sir. It is very important. 1426 01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:30,606 My son-in-law, he cannot go on the plane. 1427 01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:32,420 - Mm-hmm. - So, can you help us with that? 1428 01:12:32,565 --> 01:12:34,218 The family's future is in danger. 1429 01:12:34,393 --> 01:12:36,395 - Did she say dangerous? - No, no, no, no. 1430 01:12:38,179 --> 01:12:40,137 You know, can you guys please step aside? 1431 01:12:40,311 --> 01:12:42,231 Can you please... Please, guys, step aside, ma'am. 1432 01:12:42,313 --> 01:12:44,228 Seriously, these gringos are so inflexible. 1433 01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:46,579 Please, ma'am! Show some respect. 1434 01:12:46,753 --> 01:12:48,058 I'm just trying to do my job. 1435 01:12:48,232 --> 01:12:50,409 Oh, no, no, no. 1436 01:12:50,583 --> 01:12:53,412 I was talking about the other gringos. It's all good. 1437 01:12:53,586 --> 01:12:56,197 Wow, you are handsome! 1438 01:12:59,505 --> 01:13:01,942 - Ahí está. No! No! - Wait, wait! Where are you going? 1439 01:13:02,116 --> 01:13:04,118 Hey, where are you going?! - Brother-in-law! 1440 01:13:05,815 --> 01:13:07,164 - Oh! 1441 01:13:07,338 --> 01:13:08,862 Whoa. 1442 01:13:09,036 --> 01:13:10,535 - Damnit. - Hey, man, I'm just trying to keep 1443 01:13:10,559 --> 01:13:11,995 my future son-in-law from leaving. 1444 01:13:12,169 --> 01:13:13,930 Can you please tell your dad to stop doing that? 1445 01:13:13,954 --> 01:13:15,782 It's the second time. 1446 01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:18,021 I was center cornerback. East LA had the Fighting Fails. Ow. 1447 01:13:18,045 --> 01:13:21,614 Does this mean I can have Claudia's hand in marriage? 1448 01:13:21,788 --> 01:13:24,443 Think I'm getting arrested for nothing? 1449 01:13:24,617 --> 01:13:27,010 Keep your hands where I can see 'em! 1450 01:13:27,184 --> 01:13:29,622 - Baby... - Aw. 1451 01:13:29,796 --> 01:13:32,189 - Will you marry me? 1452 01:13:32,363 --> 01:13:35,279 Yes... [laughing] yes, a million times, yes. 1453 01:13:37,412 --> 01:13:39,893 Ay, bueno, I'll put it on myself. It's okay. 1454 01:13:40,067 --> 01:13:42,025 Oh, fool. 1455 01:13:42,199 --> 01:13:43,810 I'm sorry. 1456 01:13:43,984 --> 01:13:45,551 You've got nothin' to be sorry about. 1457 01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:47,770 No, man, I should've been myself from the beginning. 1458 01:13:47,944 --> 01:13:49,468 You know, I was such a poser. 1459 01:13:49,642 --> 01:13:50,947 I was pretending to speak Spanish 1460 01:13:51,121 --> 01:13:53,863 and I ruined Christmas. 1461 01:13:54,037 --> 01:13:55,797 Are you kidding me, man? You saved Christmas. 1462 01:13:55,909 --> 01:13:57,780 My daughter loves you. 1463 01:13:57,954 --> 01:13:59,565 You made my Christmas the best ever. 1464 01:13:59,739 --> 01:14:01,392 Welcome to the family! Merry Christmas. 1465 01:14:04,178 --> 01:14:05,895 Ay, pero where are you taking him? Epa! Where are you taking him?! 1466 01:14:05,919 --> 01:14:07,679 Hey, you should see what we do for New Years. 1467 01:14:07,790 --> 01:14:09,139 - Hey, where y'all going? 1468 01:14:09,313 --> 01:14:10,508 I'ma go this way. They got tamales, 1469 01:14:10,532 --> 01:14:12,273 so I'm gonna go eat. I'm out. 1470 01:14:12,447 --> 01:14:13,685 - I'm gonna go with Leaf. - I think his name is Leif. 1471 01:14:13,709 --> 01:14:14,989 - No, it's Leaf. - No, it's Leif. 1472 01:14:15,058 --> 01:14:16,756 It doesn't matter, fool. Let's go. 1473 01:14:40,431 --> 01:14:43,826 Leaf, right? Is it Leaf or Leif? 1474 01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,873 Leaf, he's a swell guy. 1475 01:14:52,531 --> 01:14:56,273 Yeah, yeah, a lot of people will say Leaf when it's... 1476 01:14:56,447 --> 01:14:57,797 when it's Leif. 1477 01:14:57,971 --> 01:15:00,887 This family, it's a taken a lot of, 1478 01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:02,410 ahem, a lot of correcting. 1479 01:15:07,894 --> 01:15:09,765 That makes a lot of sense. 1480 01:15:09,939 --> 01:15:14,161 They're... they're, um, like best friends. 1481 01:15:14,335 --> 01:15:17,338 - Whoa. Okay. 1482 01:15:17,512 --> 01:15:18,861 Look at him. 1483 01:15:19,035 --> 01:15:20,950 Thank you for being such a good, um, friend. 1484 01:15:21,124 --> 01:15:24,475 I mean, his skin is so perfect and... 1485 01:15:28,828 --> 01:15:31,439 That makes a lot of sense. 1486 01:15:31,613 --> 01:15:33,528 Does know Bennie that we're here? 1487 01:15:33,702 --> 01:15:36,836 I just realized, Bennie's house is pretty nice. 1488 01:15:39,316 --> 01:15:40,535 Ay... 1489 01:15:42,363 --> 01:15:43,799 Did I leave the tag on? 1490 01:15:47,586 --> 01:15:51,328 The only thing that matters in this world for a couple 1491 01:15:51,502 --> 01:15:54,331 is performance, you know... 1492 01:15:54,505 --> 01:15:57,683 and that kid looks like he can perform. 1493 01:15:57,857 --> 01:16:01,948 He's about, what, 5'6 ", 5'7"? 1494 01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:05,560 I don't really see much there, pero hey, he must be a nice guy, right? 1495 01:16:11,087 --> 01:16:13,568 Maybe they have their babies. 1496 01:16:15,918 --> 01:16:16,918 Well... 1497 01:16:18,486 --> 01:16:19,922 Okay, wait a second. 1498 01:16:20,096 --> 01:16:23,186 - Maybe later? - Yes, maybe later. 1499 01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,188 Babies... no, espérame. 1500 01:16:25,362 --> 01:16:28,061 Cut that out. Cut that out. 1501 01:16:31,673 --> 01:16:33,414 - ¿Y tú? - What? 1502 01:16:33,588 --> 01:16:35,634 - You wanna marry me? - That's Bennie's mom's, dog. 1503 01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:37,928 - Put that back. - You're never gonna get married, dog. 1504 01:16:37,984 --> 01:16:40,203 You know, maybe I should talk to Leif about, like, 1505 01:16:40,377 --> 01:16:42,728 creating a video game with the vatos, and maybe, you know, 1506 01:16:42,902 --> 01:16:45,576 we can incorporate the car and then... and maybe they can make some money 1507 01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,429 and finally not be across the street living in their car, right? 1508 01:16:55,436 --> 01:16:58,918 I was thinking a video game based in East LA 1509 01:16:59,092 --> 01:17:01,007 would be ama... would sell. And they... 1510 01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:03,009 where they drive around 1511 01:17:03,183 --> 01:17:05,968 and maybe steal a car... each other's cars, 1512 01:17:06,142 --> 01:17:09,232 Put in, like, good music. 1513 01:17:18,241 --> 01:17:22,768 Tootsie doesn't see color, 1514 01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:25,466 doesn't see race, 1515 01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:28,861 doesn't see if they have fur or no fur, 1516 01:17:29,035 --> 01:17:31,211 pero she is kind of blind. 1517 01:17:39,872 --> 01:17:41,700 I'ma show up to the wedding, and I'ma... 1518 01:17:41,874 --> 01:17:43,678 - I'm gonna wedding crash it. - You can't do that, my boy. 1519 01:17:43,702 --> 01:17:45,810 You can't do that, my boy. It's against the rules, my boy. 1520 01:17:45,834 --> 01:17:47,682 - Yeah, you gotta respect love. - You gotta respect... 1521 01:17:47,706 --> 01:17:49,426 - Respeto, homie. - All right, I'll respect. 1522 01:17:49,490 --> 01:17:53,059 You gotta get her before they get there. 1523 01:17:53,233 --> 01:17:55,409 Does that make any sense? To, like, the chapel. 1524 01:17:55,583 --> 01:17:57,585 - Hey, hey, hey, hey... 1525 01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:08,596 Take a picture! 1526 01:18:08,770 --> 01:18:09,597 Let's take a picture of... that's for you. 1527 01:18:09,771 --> 01:18:11,294 Photo, photo, photo. 1528 01:18:11,468 --> 01:18:13,732 - That's for us. - Photo! Photo! 1529 01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:16,996 I guess I was wrong. 1530 01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:22,610 This was not the story about how the gringo stole my dad's Christmas... 1531 01:18:22,784 --> 01:18:24,525 but how my gringuito 1532 01:18:24,699 --> 01:18:26,527 saved our Christmas. 1533 01:18:28,181 --> 01:18:29,356 Feliz Navidad a todos. 1534 01:18:29,530 --> 01:18:31,314 Merry Christmas, everyone! 1534 01:18:32,305 --> 01:19:32,518 Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext 114544

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