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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,760 I don't believe it. 2 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,310 I just don't! 3 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,970 I don't know how else to say it. 4 00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:47,720 I don't believe it. 5 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,600 I don't believe it. I just don't believe it! 6 00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:52,260 I don't believe it. 7 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,640 Words fail me. I don't believe it. 8 00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:58,390 - I don't believe it. - Oh, come on! 9 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,760 Words fail me. I'm devastated. 10 00:02:01,060 --> 00:02:03,310 No, worse than that: I'm crushed. 11 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,760 Now, excuse me. 12 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:06,640 I need to eat. 13 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,810 Oh, come on! 14 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,470 You know what? 15 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:17,100 It's ruined my appetite. I'm not hungry. I'm disgusted. 16 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:18,390 Thanks! 17 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:20,760 Oh, come on. 18 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:25,010 You must've expected it. 19 00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:26,760 No, I didn't. 20 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:30,180 I know they say it happens to all men at least once. 21 00:02:30,430 --> 00:02:34,100 I didn't think it'd happen to me at my age. Not like this! 22 00:02:34,390 --> 00:02:37,430 Couldn't you wait till the weekend to tell me? 23 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,140 No, I felt like telling you tonight. 24 00:02:40,430 --> 00:02:41,640 Oh, did you? 25 00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:42,640 Yes. 26 00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:45,010 Madam felt like it! 27 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:47,510 You're lucky to do things you feel like. 28 00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:50,680 Take me... I feel like eating lobster. 29 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:53,470 That's what I'd like. But what is there? 30 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,720 Oh, look! Corn with butter, for a change! 31 00:02:57,350 --> 00:03:00,140 What a treat! I'm gonna enjoy this! 32 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,350 Corn is yellow. That's for cuckolds. Is it a hint? 33 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:04,640 No! 34 00:03:04,890 --> 00:03:09,100 I thought you'd like it. I didn't know yellow was for cuckolds! 35 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,220 You thought I'd like it? OK, let's do this. 36 00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,560 Where did you meet that cretin? 37 00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:17,760 Stop it! 38 00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,680 You know the walls are paper-thin! 39 00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:22,600 Let me think... 40 00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:27,890 With his ugly face, I bet he's a banker! You met him at the bank! 41 00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,560 Serge, please keep your voice down. 42 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:34,390 Sorry, but this is my home. I can say what I want! 43 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:38,470 Why has he been in the bathroom for ages? It's not normal! 44 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:40,720 Oh, be nice. He's sick! 45 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:41,890 Nice?! 46 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,970 Nice to the guy who's stealing my wife? 47 00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:46,220 Yes, be nice. 48 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:50,310 He picked up a terrible superbug on safari in Kenya. 49 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:53,470 His insides are a total mess. It's no fun! 50 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,470 Jeez, Madeleine! Let me sum it up. 51 00:03:57,890 --> 00:04:01,720 It's hard to hear you're cheating on me on a Tuesday night. 52 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,140 So be it. 53 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:07,640 But on top of that, it's with a guy who has gut trouble! 54 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,310 Do you want me to kill myself? 55 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,180 What next? Will you tell me you're pregnant? 56 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,760 You don't understand, 57 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:19,510 you don't listen to me. That's the problem. 58 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,680 It's purely platonic. 59 00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:24,600 - Sure it is! - Of course! 60 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:28,850 That goes right over your head. Well, it exists, you know. 61 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:30,560 Yeah, in your dumb novels. 62 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:34,260 Look, I knew it was a bad idea for you to read. 63 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:38,060 It's a bad influence on you. "Platonic"... Bullshit! 64 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,890 Fred warned me: 65 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,640 "Watch out, buddy. 66 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:45,310 "If she reads romance novels, you're in for trouble." 67 00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:46,260 He was right. 68 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,350 I don't just read novels. 69 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,350 I subscribed to that science magazine. 70 00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:56,970 Well, about time! 71 00:04:57,270 --> 00:05:00,850 I hope he cleaned up. I don't want to catch his superbug. 72 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,140 Stop it! 73 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,060 Sorry it took so long. 74 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,260 We took the opportunity to talk. 75 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,220 Don't worry about us. 76 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,930 We had a lot to say. We don't split up every night! 77 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,180 By the way, do you want a bite to eat? 78 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,140 We didn't ask. So rude. 79 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,930 I don't know... 80 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:24,890 Yes, why not? 81 00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:28,310 No, I don't think so. Let's go, darling. 82 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,720 What's the rush? We have time, no? 83 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,310 Let me spend time with my replacement. 84 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,180 It's now or never, isn't it? Go ahead. 85 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,640 Open the fridge and help yourself. 86 00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:41,560 No, Bruno, get your jacket. We're going. 87 00:05:43,470 --> 00:05:46,510 Well, he seems nice. Let's stay for 5 minutes. 88 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:49,260 He is. That's not the problem. 89 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,720 Are you afraid we'll become friends? 90 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,390 No, I don't want him to open the fridge. 91 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,810 Well, I'd like him to. 92 00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:59,890 I want to spend time with my replacement. 93 00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:01,720 So, help yourself. 94 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:03,930 Sit down. We guys will chat. 95 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,260 I'll tell you a few things about your new chick. 96 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,010 You'll see, she's full of surprises. 97 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,470 Very amusing! 98 00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:14,970 So, do I open the fridge or not? 99 00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:17,060 Open it! I'd like that. 100 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:19,310 Bruno, if you do, I warn you... 101 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,180 What? 102 00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,970 Show her you're a man. Open it! 103 00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:25,010 I'm warning you... 104 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,350 - Open it! - Don't open it. 105 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,220 Pardon me. 106 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:35,060 Sorry to interrupt. I know it's not right. 107 00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:38,060 I'll be quick so I don't disturb you too much. 108 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:40,970 First of all, good evening. 109 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,600 I'm Yannick. 110 00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:45,390 I'm speaking up. 111 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,470 Don't get offended, but I don't find this entertaining. 112 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:53,510 Sorry to be so blunt. 113 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:56,220 It can't be nice to hear, 114 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,060 but I paid for something entertaining 115 00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:01,180 and I'm supposed to feel good. 116 00:07:01,470 --> 00:07:03,850 It feels like quite the opposite. 117 00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:07,600 You're adding to my problems, not making me forget mine. 118 00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:10,060 So, that ain't right, right? 119 00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:12,680 There's a problem. 120 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,140 Nonsense! 121 00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:18,640 I don't think you fully realize, but that's not the done thing. 122 00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:20,850 I know. I apologize once again. 123 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:25,100 It's just that I got organized to come here tonight. 124 00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:28,220 I'm a night watchman, I work 7 days a week. 125 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,310 I had to take a day off work. 126 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,640 You probably don't realize, but it's complicated. 127 00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:35,140 I can't do it often. 128 00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:37,220 I need to ask my boss 129 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,890 and get a colleague to replace me. 130 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,850 So, if I take a day off work 131 00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:45,760 to be entertained, I wanna be entertained. 132 00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,470 Otherwise, it's a catastrophe. 133 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,720 I'm not saying it's deliberate. I know you're just the actors. 134 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,850 It's not your fault. I expect someone is responsible. 135 00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:58,640 A director, right? 136 00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:01,390 Yes, he's the playwright, too. 137 00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:05,350 I should talk to him. That would be wiser. 138 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,140 Can you get him out here so I can explain my problem? 139 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:11,430 Look, let's make it even easier. 140 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,390 I'll give you his number, you can go call him 141 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,560 and tell him, so we can get back to work, OK? 142 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:20,010 You're joking! Isn't he here? 143 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:21,930 No. 144 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,560 The guy in charge 145 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:26,560 isn't here to check you do good work. 146 00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:27,970 What? 147 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:29,560 Wait... 148 00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:30,890 Hold on... 149 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:35,100 It's normal it goes wrong if the captain isn't here. 150 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,680 What the hell is this? 151 00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:39,350 No, you're making it all go wrong. 152 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,560 Yeah, we'll do this play at least 60 times, 153 00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:45,890 so the director can't be here every night. 154 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:50,310 So, this is a madhouse! What is this dive? 155 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,220 What if a restaurant chef didn't show up? 156 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:55,760 How crass! 157 00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:58,310 It's not the same. 158 00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:01,100 It is. Customers pay for a service. 159 00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:05,260 If it isn't satisfactory, you need to complain to the boss. 160 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,260 If I order some meat in a restaurant 161 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,510 and I find hair on my plate, 162 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,350 what do I do if I'm told 163 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,890 the cook isn't there? 164 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,760 We understand your restaurant metaphor, 165 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,390 but we're different. 166 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,600 This is a stage. It's art, OK? 167 00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:23,680 - Art?! - It's not a piece of meat, OK? 168 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,930 That's a good 'un. Art! 169 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,930 I didn't pay for that! Think I'm the culture secretary? 170 00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:35,720 I want a nice change. 171 00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:37,720 That's a different ballgame. 172 00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:41,350 What's art anyway? I won't start arguing... 173 00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:43,850 We're all artists, aren't we? 174 00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:47,390 I could draw a banana and 3 apricots on a kitchen table 175 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,680 if I had the time. 176 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,640 Let's stop this because you're being a pain. 177 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:57,970 You can't ruin everyone's night with a monologue. 178 00:09:58,270 --> 00:10:01,680 If you don't like the play, you can leave. 179 00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:04,010 You can get a refund. 180 00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,680 - Just go - Yeah! 181 00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:08,890 That's too easy. 182 00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:13,390 I took a day off work to come here. The money is one thing, 183 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,140 but my whole evening has been ruined. 184 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,310 You can't pay for that. Don't you see? 185 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,010 Time is a precious thing. I don't have 50 days' vacation. 186 00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:28,140 I can't waste a day on this disaster, 187 00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:30,220 especially if it gets me down. 188 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,220 - OK, enough! - What? 189 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,970 OK, we get it, you're not happy. 190 00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:37,720 Don't bug everyone. You're a pain. 191 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,760 How long did it take you to get here? 192 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,140 - What's it to you? - Listen... 193 00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:47,350 It took me 45 minutes on the train from Melun, 194 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,140 plus a 15-minute walk, OK? 195 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:52,890 Do the math, it's a long commute! 196 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:56,220 Then, I have to go back. So, double it. 197 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,010 That's your problem, pal. 198 00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,010 Sorry, no-one cares! 199 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,510 I'm explaining my frustration. 200 00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:04,390 You got your message across. 201 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:06,810 I'm telling you... 202 00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:12,100 The problem is, I feel worse than when I came in here. 203 00:11:12,390 --> 00:11:14,720 That's why I'm speaking up. 204 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:16,680 I have a shitty life. 205 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:20,970 I don't feel on top form, psychologically speaking. 206 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,350 A show that's supposed to cheer me up 207 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,350 has the opposite effect. 208 00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:31,600 Sorry, but I can't take it. I just can't. 209 00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:34,970 That's subjective. Nothing we can do about it. 210 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:36,430 Subjective? 211 00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,890 Suddenly, he's using big words! 212 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,140 Subjective works both ways. 213 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,970 You subjectively think the play is worthwhile. 214 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,390 Let's stop. 215 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,560 No, not for one guy. 216 00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:56,930 Let's carry on. 217 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,600 Carry on after all that? Really? 218 00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:02,890 Yes, who cares? Let's pretend it's an intermission. 219 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,430 - We can't back down. - OK. 220 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,930 Hold on, you don't understand. 221 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:08,810 Enough... 222 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,010 You artists will drive me crazy! 223 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:14,390 Are you listening or am I pissing in the wind? 224 00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:17,600 You're not carrying on. You wanna torture me? 225 00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:20,970 Your crap isn't helping. Get it into your heads! 226 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:23,220 What do you expect us to do? 227 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,390 - Do something else. - Pardon? 228 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,640 Do something else. Something less artistic. 229 00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:31,350 You must know other stuff. It's your job. 230 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,510 Look, we're not musicians. 231 00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:35,560 We don't do requests! 232 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,970 There's at least 6 months' rehearsals here. 233 00:12:39,430 --> 00:12:41,180 Who the hell is this guy? 234 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,060 Where's he from? 235 00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:44,510 Melun. I told you. 236 00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,390 You need to listen. 237 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,640 I think you're from Ballbusterville. 238 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,930 No, Melun, east of Paris. 239 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,390 He answers back... 240 00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:56,560 I think it's too easy to judge. 241 00:12:56,850 --> 00:13:00,560 Even if you don't like it, you should respect their work. 242 00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:03,810 No-one criticizes your work as a night watchman. 243 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,350 No chance of that. 244 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,680 I'm on my own in the parking lot. 245 00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:10,470 I do my job properly. 246 00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:12,930 No thefts or damage in 3 years. 247 00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,560 The job's done properly. Guaranteed! 248 00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:18,310 As for them... I'm sorry, I'm no expert... 249 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:21,390 If I feel bad when I watch the play, 250 00:13:21,770 --> 00:13:23,510 then it must be shit. 251 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,600 Get out. 252 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,100 - Throw this jerk out. - What? 253 00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:30,260 - Out. - Why? 254 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,680 It was amusing, 255 00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:33,680 but you've gone way too far. 256 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:37,390 No-one cares. You're not the only person here. Now go. 257 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,260 You can't stand criticism. Everyone has to like it, right? 258 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,350 I can stand criticism, but not during the play. 259 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,510 This sabotage is unacceptable. 260 00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:48,560 Go before I get really angry. 261 00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:50,180 What about my opinion? 262 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:52,220 I don't give a flying fuck! 263 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,180 It's no fun, but too bad. 264 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,680 Now get the hell outta here! 265 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,890 That's not very nice. 266 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:00,930 I took a day off. 267 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:04,680 A 45-minute train ride, a 15-minute walk to come here. 268 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,140 You throw me out... 269 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,680 Shut up! You'll drive us crazy! 270 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,890 Beat it! Loser! 271 00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:13,390 Can I get my coat? Or get fucked? 272 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,930 Your problem, pal! 273 00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:21,010 Holy cow! 274 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:22,100 You OK? 275 00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:24,220 Well, that was a first. 276 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,010 I swear! 277 00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:32,390 "A 45-minute train ride and a 15-minute walk." 278 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,810 What a nightmare! Right? 279 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,640 What a jerk. 280 00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:40,600 Now where were we? 281 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,600 - There you are. - Thanks. 282 00:14:52,930 --> 00:14:54,510 You didn't stay long. 283 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,100 Didn't you like it? 284 00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,810 They're clapping? 285 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,600 Yeah. 286 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,760 I took a day off work. I had to ask my boss. 287 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,430 The show doesn't cheer me up. 288 00:15:17,970 --> 00:15:19,220 Where were we? 289 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:21,470 - The fridge. - Right. 290 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,010 Should we start over, for the energy? 291 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,140 - No. - Forget it. 292 00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,140 - I open it? - Just before. 293 00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:29,470 Oh, OK. 294 00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:30,810 Come on! 295 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:34,640 It's not easy to get back into it. Please bear with us. 296 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,010 OK, let's go. 297 00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,310 Let's go. 298 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:41,470 Imagine you go to a restaurant. 299 00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:45,640 You order some meat and there's a hair on the plate. 300 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:49,760 Stop it. Let's just concentrate or we won't manage. Go on. 301 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:50,890 Oh, come on. 302 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,260 Positions. 303 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,970 I've thought it over. 304 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,390 I don't agree with what just happened. 305 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,430 He's got a gun! 306 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,060 I can't digest it. 307 00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,600 What's my name again? 308 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,430 I'm talking to you actors. 309 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,600 Has one of you had the good grace to remember my name? 310 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,680 No? 311 00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:26,470 Thought so. You didn't bother to listen. 312 00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:29,680 - Patrick? - No. 313 00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:32,310 Good try, but no. My name's Yannick. 314 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,470 I told you at the start. Yannick! 315 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:37,100 In Hebrew, it means "God is gracious". 316 00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:39,260 I saw that recently on Google. 317 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,220 Funny, that. "God is gracious"! 318 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,600 Sir... Yannick... 319 00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:46,810 Sorry, I yelled at you, 320 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,470 but I didn't mean to insult you or... 321 00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:52,140 It's just that I had to 322 00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:55,890 handle a tricky situation for us and for the audience. 323 00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,180 So, you can put your gun away. 324 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:02,850 It's too late for that, pal. The gun's in my hand. 325 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:04,760 You're my witnesses. 326 00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:08,310 I politely tried to open up a dialogue. 327 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,890 But he preferred to get on his high horse 328 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,930 and throw me out. So, that's it. 329 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:15,810 Not my fault. Sit down. 330 00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:19,010 I'm not a marksman. I'm a parking attendant. 331 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:21,470 So, I don't know how to use this. 332 00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:24,060 It could go off at any moment. 333 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,640 So... 334 00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:27,260 now you know. 335 00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:29,260 OK... 336 00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:31,510 Let's play a little game. 337 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:36,060 Did anyone bring their computer, by any chance? 338 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,510 Someone must have come straight from work with their computer. 339 00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:44,810 You bureaucrats... 340 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,930 Where are you hiding tonight? 341 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,890 I've got a PC. 342 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:50,220 What? 343 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,970 A PC. A laptop. 344 00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:54,100 - Is that a computer? - Yes. 345 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,260 Why don't you say that, then? Why invent some dumb word? 346 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,970 Is it charged? 347 00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:03,180 It should be. 348 00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:05,430 Well, bring it over here. 349 00:18:06,810 --> 00:18:09,720 I warn you, if anyone tries to call the cops 350 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:12,930 or tries to pull a fast one, 351 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,850 I won't hesitate, I'll shoot 'em at once. 352 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:19,100 What's my name again? 353 00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:21,560 Yannick. 354 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,100 Easy, see?! 355 00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:25,970 You need a gun now to get some respect. 356 00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:27,640 What a world! 357 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,350 Honestly! 358 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,720 - It's booting up. - OK, get lost. 359 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,640 Now then... 360 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,260 What's this shit? It wants a password. 361 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,680 You need to enter the password. 362 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:10,100 I'm listening. 363 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,640 Vaginal. 364 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:19,180 Sorry, it was a joke with a colleague. 365 00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:21,260 I didn't expect to say it out loud. 366 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,930 You're all degenerates in here! 367 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:27,060 What a sick password! How do you spell it? 368 00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:28,810 V-A... 369 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,010 Take it easy! I'm not a typist! 370 00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:33,220 V... 371 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,390 A... 372 00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:36,350 - V-A what? - G. 373 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,010 I... 374 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:41,640 I... Go on. 375 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,350 N-A-L. 376 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,180 Vaginal. Ridiculous! 377 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,430 Enter. 378 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,180 It seems to work. 379 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,010 It's slow to start. 380 00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:56,350 I told you it's my day off. I have plenty of time. 381 00:19:58,270 --> 00:19:59,350 Now what? 382 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,310 I'm regaining control. I'll show you. 383 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:03,720 Don't rile me. 384 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,060 Control of what? 385 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,100 Brigitte Bardot, you're stressing me out! Don't stay there. 386 00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:11,220 I want nobody behind me, OK? 387 00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,390 Stay still. I'm cool, but... 388 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,390 things could go down the tubes at any moment. 389 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,600 OK? 390 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:21,310 Right, it seems to be working. 391 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,470 I don't believe it. 392 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:26,970 The desktop is a chick on all fours in her panties! 393 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,390 You got a problem, man! 394 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,600 Look. 395 00:20:33,430 --> 00:20:34,510 Shit! 396 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,930 Anyway, what was I gonna say? 397 00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:40,100 You got software to type text? 398 00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:44,850 There's an icon at the bottom left. Word, that's word processing. 399 00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:46,970 Click on it, it'll open. 400 00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:49,260 Bottom left. Where is it? 401 00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:53,180 I can't imagine how often you jerked off to this! 402 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:58,350 Is the girl underage? 403 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:00,140 No. 404 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,640 Forget it. 405 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,010 The very idea disgusts me. 406 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,640 OK, the icon at the bottom left... I see it. 407 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,310 I click... 408 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:11,220 No good. 409 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,260 You have to double-click. 410 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,600 It's complicated. Give me a hand, Mr. Subjective. 411 00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:19,060 You look like a computer geek. 412 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,720 Open it for me. 413 00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:25,560 Easy! I'm high on adrenaline. Don't do anything funny. 414 00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,850 No, I won't do anything funny. 415 00:21:32,470 --> 00:21:33,560 There you are. 416 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,850 Give me a white page to write on. 417 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,850 So, new document... 418 00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:44,350 There. 419 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:46,930 - It's ready. - I can write there? 420 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,010 If you type, it'll appear on the page. It's simple. 421 00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:54,390 It's like a typewriter. You can correct things. 422 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,140 Don't blind me with science. Your breath stinks. 423 00:21:58,430 --> 00:21:59,720 It's unbearable. 424 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,260 Move! 425 00:22:04,850 --> 00:22:06,470 I tell you, it's gross! 426 00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:08,810 So... 427 00:22:09,970 --> 00:22:11,970 We're ready. Here goes. 428 00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:13,260 I'll explain. 429 00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:18,680 So, the great actor you see here... 430 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:20,010 What's your name? 431 00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,140 Paul Rivière. 432 00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:24,310 That's it. 433 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:29,430 So, the great actor you see before you who wasn't really on form tonight... 434 00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:33,560 He condescendingly told me I didn't know anything about art. 435 00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:35,470 You heard him. 436 00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:38,010 He yelled at me like I'm his dog. 437 00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:41,510 That's pretty much what happened. 438 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:43,890 Now, the way I see it, 439 00:22:44,180 --> 00:22:47,180 I'm convinced their play is shit. 440 00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:51,760 Sorry, it's a pretty radical view, but it's sincere. 441 00:22:52,060 --> 00:22:54,600 That's what caused our falling-out. 442 00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:55,720 Right? 443 00:22:56,270 --> 00:22:58,350 - Yes. - That's about it. 444 00:22:59,390 --> 00:23:01,010 So, now I intend 445 00:23:01,470 --> 00:23:02,640 to put it right. 446 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:06,470 Contrary to appearances, I'm a positive guy at heart. 447 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,470 Even if I'm not doing too well, as I said. 448 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,100 I keep my head up 449 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:13,850 and I prefer to take the bull by the horns 450 00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:15,760 than let things get me down. 451 00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:20,930 The bull here is this crappy play that I took the liberty of interrupting. 452 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,060 You get the metaphor. 453 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,810 So, what'll I do now? 454 00:23:26,270 --> 00:23:27,100 It's simple. 455 00:23:27,390 --> 00:23:29,970 I'll sit here for a while with this computer 456 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,600 kindly loaned to me by that pervert. 457 00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:35,930 And I'll write a new show 458 00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:40,810 which will prove to everyone that a parking attendant is also capable 459 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,510 of doing something more entertaining 460 00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:47,390 than that tired old crap we had to endure just now. 461 00:23:47,930 --> 00:23:49,810 I'll write a new play 462 00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:52,890 which they'll perform as best they can. 463 00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:56,100 And it'll cheer us all up 464 00:23:56,350 --> 00:24:00,180 and we'll go home, feeling comforted 465 00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:03,760 because that's what we all came for tonight. 466 00:24:05,390 --> 00:24:07,060 So, here we go. 467 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,060 Give me a cigarette. It'll help me think. 468 00:24:12,810 --> 00:24:15,310 I can see from your skin that you smoke. 469 00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:17,260 Am I right? 470 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,720 - Well, my character smokes. - Yeah, right. 471 00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,350 I study people. 472 00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:26,810 Light it for me and stick it in my mouth. 473 00:24:28,810 --> 00:24:31,600 I'm not hitting on you. It's OK, you're safe. 474 00:24:35,890 --> 00:24:36,970 I don't bite! 475 00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:42,140 So... 476 00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:44,470 Here goes... 477 00:24:51,270 --> 00:24:53,060 Yeah, here goes. 478 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:41,810 - Yannick... - Don't interrupt. 479 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,640 I'm feeling inspired. 480 00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:46,430 Don't distract me just now. 481 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,060 Do you need to pee? 482 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:01,810 No, it's just that I see that you're writing slowly... 483 00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:05,220 Well, that's only natural because you don't know... 484 00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:08,010 the keyboard or the... 485 00:27:08,890 --> 00:27:11,390 I type very fast because... 486 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:16,060 I'm not just an actor. I write things at home, too... 487 00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:18,140 So, I type fast. 488 00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:20,930 So, I wanted to say... If you like, 489 00:27:21,430 --> 00:27:24,760 tell me what you want to say and I'll type it for you. 490 00:27:25,390 --> 00:27:28,470 Think I'm a moron? You're trying to screw me. 491 00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:31,640 No, I don't think you... 492 00:27:31,930 --> 00:27:33,600 I'll do it fine on my own. 493 00:27:33,890 --> 00:27:35,350 I don't need anyone. 494 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,140 Leave me alone. All of you. 495 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,890 If anyone needs to relieve themselves, 496 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,220 or whatever, it's up to you. 497 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,390 Do it quietly in a corner. It's not a problem! 498 00:27:48,390 --> 00:27:49,510 End of. 499 00:27:51,350 --> 00:27:52,430 I'll carry on. 500 00:28:29,350 --> 00:28:30,350 Mr. Yannick... 501 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,810 Don't keep interrupting me. What's your problem? 502 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:37,640 I understand what you're doing. It's very courageous. 503 00:28:37,930 --> 00:28:40,100 But this just isn't realistic. 504 00:28:40,810 --> 00:28:41,890 What isn't? 505 00:28:42,140 --> 00:28:43,760 Let's meet up another day. 506 00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:46,510 Without the gun. 507 00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:48,810 We go to a bar and swap ideas. 508 00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:51,760 - It could be very worthwhile. - Yes. 509 00:28:52,060 --> 00:28:55,430 You can't hold people hostage. It's inhuman. 510 00:28:55,810 --> 00:28:58,970 Take it down a notch. Do you think we're friends? 511 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,100 - No... - What the hell? 512 00:29:01,390 --> 00:29:03,350 It's now or never. I'm a busy man. 513 00:29:04,270 --> 00:29:05,350 First of all. 514 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,470 For the hostage situation, it's the same 515 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,810 when you do your vaudeville crap. 516 00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:13,680 They can't move. 517 00:29:13,930 --> 00:29:18,180 They have to keep quiet and clap and wait for the end to stand up. 518 00:29:18,430 --> 00:29:20,310 It's a hostage situation, too. 519 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,220 Think about it while I work. You might come to your senses. 520 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,220 Now leave me in peace. 521 00:30:16,770 --> 00:30:17,930 What's going on? 522 00:30:18,220 --> 00:30:20,510 He has a gun, he's crazy. 523 00:30:20,970 --> 00:30:22,560 - A gun? - We're hostages. 524 00:30:22,850 --> 00:30:24,810 What? Fuck! 525 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,560 What're you doing here? 526 00:30:28,970 --> 00:30:29,720 Nothing. 527 00:30:30,020 --> 00:30:32,850 I just wondered why... It's very late... 528 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,970 I explained it already. You missed your chance. 529 00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:40,600 Make yourself useful, go get a printer. I'll need one. 530 00:30:43,310 --> 00:30:44,680 There must be an office. 531 00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:46,760 Yes, there is. 532 00:30:47,060 --> 00:30:49,140 There must be a printer. Bring it. 533 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,510 OK. 534 00:30:51,770 --> 00:30:54,850 Be careful. If you call the cops, I'll shoot someone. 535 00:30:55,470 --> 00:30:56,510 OK. 536 00:30:56,890 --> 00:30:58,060 Bring some paper. 537 00:31:01,770 --> 00:31:02,810 Sorry. 538 00:31:52,270 --> 00:31:53,890 What the hell's that? 539 00:31:54,140 --> 00:31:56,100 Couldn't you find a bigger one?! 540 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:57,890 Sorry. 541 00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:59,760 Where do I put it? 542 00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:01,430 On the table. 543 00:32:08,140 --> 00:32:09,850 Know how to connect it? 544 00:32:10,350 --> 00:32:14,390 I think I need to find an extension cable. 545 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,350 Enough technical crap. Just hook it up. 546 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,430 - Sorry. - I'm concentrating. 547 00:32:21,770 --> 00:32:22,760 So... 548 00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:46,850 Your machine's going like crazy! What speed! 549 00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:51,890 With this, Jules Verne's books would've come out in a flash! 550 00:32:53,810 --> 00:32:56,010 Progress is amazing, isn't it? 551 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:57,180 Yeah... 552 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:00,890 I'm boring you. 553 00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:01,760 No. 554 00:33:02,060 --> 00:33:04,600 I can see I am, kiddo. Go sit down. 555 00:33:04,810 --> 00:33:06,640 Your job's done. Thanks. 556 00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:09,890 Now come over here, you clowns. 557 00:33:11,310 --> 00:33:15,180 Don't get me wrong, I said "clowns" affectionately. 558 00:33:15,470 --> 00:33:18,430 I went to the circus a lot with my parents. 559 00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:21,720 They're dead, so it brings back fond memories. 560 00:33:23,430 --> 00:33:24,350 So... 561 00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:26,720 here are your lines. 562 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,560 If they're out of order, check the numbers 563 00:33:30,810 --> 00:33:32,720 and put 'em in the right order. 564 00:33:33,310 --> 00:33:35,850 Here's the cast: you're the doc. 565 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,260 You: patient. You: nurse. 566 00:33:40,350 --> 00:33:41,350 No... 567 00:33:41,890 --> 00:33:46,220 Is nurse not good enough for you? You wanna be a surgeon? 568 00:33:46,770 --> 00:33:47,890 No, it's just... 569 00:33:50,810 --> 00:33:52,350 The set's a kitchen. 570 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,430 That doesn't matter. 571 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,010 Forget it. People can imagine it's a clinic. 572 00:33:58,310 --> 00:34:00,680 You'll see, it'll be magic, don't worry. 573 00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:05,350 OK, read it through together quietly in a corner. 574 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,430 Rehearse, warm up, whatever it is you do. 575 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,140 When you're ready, call me. I'll give you directions. 576 00:34:12,770 --> 00:34:13,680 OK? 577 00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:16,430 Get to work. Over to you. 578 00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:29,260 Is this for real? 579 00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:32,760 Unbelievable! 580 00:34:33,020 --> 00:34:34,970 - Crazy... - Jump him. 581 00:34:35,770 --> 00:34:36,470 Pardon? 582 00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:39,390 Jump him and smash his face in! 583 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:40,600 What the hell? 584 00:34:40,890 --> 00:34:42,560 No, we gotta do as he says. 585 00:34:42,850 --> 00:34:44,600 You big fuckin' sissies! 586 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,060 You can take him out. 587 00:34:47,310 --> 00:34:48,970 He's got a gun. 588 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:50,850 No, forget it. 589 00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:51,850 What...? 590 00:34:52,140 --> 00:34:53,390 Stop whispering. 591 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:54,850 I don't like that. 592 00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,350 We're learning our lines. 593 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,390 You don't have to do that. You're not at school. 594 00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:04,810 You can hold the fuckin' pages. 595 00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:07,560 Great. It'll make things easier. 596 00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:09,810 OK. 597 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:14,260 Sorry for the delay. 598 00:35:14,890 --> 00:35:16,600 I hope it's not too long. 599 00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:19,890 Still having a good evening? 600 00:35:20,350 --> 00:35:21,350 Well... 601 00:35:21,930 --> 00:35:23,430 Yes, it's OK... 602 00:35:25,020 --> 00:35:26,180 You together? 603 00:35:26,470 --> 00:35:27,060 Yes. 604 00:35:27,350 --> 00:35:27,930 Yes. 605 00:35:28,220 --> 00:35:29,140 That's good. 606 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,890 I used to have a woman. 607 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,390 With my work, it wasn't ideal 608 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,180 to see each other. 609 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:39,430 She was a pain. 610 00:35:43,470 --> 00:35:45,180 What do you do for a living? 611 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,640 We run a driving school. 612 00:35:48,060 --> 00:35:52,010 That's funny. So, what do you do? You give driving lessons? 613 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,600 No, we... 614 00:35:53,890 --> 00:35:55,760 We're in charge of the firm. 615 00:35:56,060 --> 00:35:56,970 OK, I see. 616 00:35:57,430 --> 00:35:59,350 Does it make good money? 617 00:35:59,930 --> 00:36:01,180 Not bad. 618 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,760 We're not rich. 619 00:36:03,060 --> 00:36:04,720 No, but we can't complain. 620 00:36:05,140 --> 00:36:06,430 You mustn't complain. 621 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:09,390 As they say, you take what you can in life. 622 00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:12,220 Am I right? 623 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:14,850 I agree. 624 00:36:15,470 --> 00:36:18,890 So, you spend your days together? 625 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,510 - In the driving school? - Yes. 626 00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:25,890 Doesn't it get tiring, being together all day 627 00:36:26,180 --> 00:36:28,930 and then, all evening at home, too? 628 00:36:29,220 --> 00:36:31,560 No, you get used to it. 629 00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:33,760 And we're still in love. 630 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,220 Yes. 631 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,760 That's cute. 632 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:38,930 What was I gonna say? 633 00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:43,010 So, you must get up to dirty stuff 634 00:36:43,310 --> 00:36:45,220 in the back office? 635 00:36:46,180 --> 00:36:47,100 When it's quiet. 636 00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:49,470 No... 637 00:36:49,770 --> 00:36:51,680 There's no back office. 638 00:36:52,430 --> 00:36:54,390 You must have done it once. 639 00:36:56,180 --> 00:36:57,430 No, I don't think so. 640 00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,180 And we're rarely alone. 641 00:37:00,470 --> 00:37:01,970 There's the staff... 642 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,310 And it's not our thing. 643 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,680 Not your thing? 644 00:37:08,220 --> 00:37:11,260 Mating is everyone's thing, ma'am. It's universal. 645 00:37:13,140 --> 00:37:14,720 Stroke her thigh. 646 00:37:15,850 --> 00:37:16,810 Pardon? 647 00:37:17,270 --> 00:37:19,600 Touch your wife. Show me what you do. 648 00:37:19,890 --> 00:37:20,970 I'm interested. 649 00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:27,260 I'm joking! 650 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:29,850 He believed me! 651 00:37:30,220 --> 00:37:33,850 I'm joking. I'm not a pervert! I was lightening the mood. 652 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:35,560 Oh, OK. 653 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,140 I'll leave you alone. Well, I enjoyed... 654 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,060 our little chat. 655 00:37:43,890 --> 00:37:45,060 Have a good evening. 656 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:46,390 Thank you. 657 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,640 You're nice. I'll remember that. 658 00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:50,600 Very nice. 659 00:37:56,020 --> 00:37:59,390 Hey, kid, stay with us. We're starting again soon. 660 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,470 Sorry. 661 00:38:01,770 --> 00:38:02,970 Are you tired? 662 00:38:03,430 --> 00:38:04,970 No, I just nodded off. 663 00:38:05,430 --> 00:38:08,810 It's not normal at your age. Old folks do that usually. 664 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:10,930 Even your mom's stayed awake. 665 00:38:11,220 --> 00:38:12,810 It's 11:30. What's wrong? 666 00:38:14,180 --> 00:38:15,180 Nothing. 667 00:38:16,020 --> 00:38:18,260 - You are his mother, right? - Yes. 668 00:38:18,770 --> 00:38:22,760 You have to be careful what you say about these things nowadays. 669 00:38:23,430 --> 00:38:26,970 You see strange couples these days. 670 00:38:27,970 --> 00:38:29,010 Know who I mean? 671 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,180 Man, oh, man! 672 00:38:33,850 --> 00:38:36,310 So why so tired, fella? What's wrong? 673 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,720 - I'm OK. - He's on medication. 674 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:42,560 He's tired because of the tranquilizers. 675 00:38:42,850 --> 00:38:44,510 He's chronically anxious. 676 00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:47,060 Really? How come? 677 00:38:47,470 --> 00:38:48,810 We don't know. 678 00:38:49,100 --> 00:38:50,180 They don't know. 679 00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:53,640 That's kinda rough for a kid, I expect. 680 00:38:53,930 --> 00:38:54,970 Yes, it is. 681 00:38:55,470 --> 00:38:58,680 Your big scary glasses must be making him anxious! 682 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:01,760 Not at all. 683 00:39:02,350 --> 00:39:04,180 Hey, I'm joking! 684 00:39:04,470 --> 00:39:06,100 Does no-one get my humor? 685 00:39:08,180 --> 00:39:09,890 I keep getting flops. 686 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,140 Did you see some of the show or did you sleep through it? 687 00:39:14,430 --> 00:39:15,560 No, I saw it. 688 00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:19,350 What did you think before I stepped in? Did you like it? 689 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,680 Not really. 690 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,760 That's reassuring. It wasn't good. 691 00:39:25,060 --> 00:39:26,510 The actors aren't bad. 692 00:39:26,810 --> 00:39:27,760 Not bad? 693 00:39:28,350 --> 00:39:29,060 Yeah. 694 00:39:29,350 --> 00:39:31,140 Your pills must be strong! 695 00:39:31,430 --> 00:39:34,100 They distort your perception of reality! 696 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:36,260 You're stoned. 697 00:39:36,770 --> 00:39:37,970 It's not possible! 698 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,390 I can't act this shit. 699 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,010 The grammar mistakes! 700 00:39:42,270 --> 00:39:44,430 Let's just do it. It doesn't matter. 701 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,010 It does matter. We'll look like goddam idiots. 702 00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:50,510 - Do something. - I don't wanna die. 703 00:39:50,770 --> 00:39:53,560 Die, how? Is it even a real gun? 704 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,810 Yeah, we don't know. 705 00:39:56,470 --> 00:40:00,060 Of course it's a fake. He's a loser with a fake gun. 706 00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:01,810 Look at him. 707 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,100 He's getting the audience on his side. 708 00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,560 I don't believe it! 709 00:40:09,810 --> 00:40:10,970 It's unbearable. 710 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,680 Paul, if you save the day, 711 00:40:13,890 --> 00:40:15,260 I'll sleep with you. 712 00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:16,810 What? 713 00:40:17,060 --> 00:40:19,390 I promise, get us out of this shit 714 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:23,470 and you can take me however you want: from behind, upside down... 715 00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:25,140 But take out that guy. 716 00:40:25,430 --> 00:40:26,720 - What? - You're insane. 717 00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:28,510 I don't give a shit anymore. 718 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:31,930 You can't sleep with me for nothing?! 719 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,100 It's to motivate you. 720 00:40:34,310 --> 00:40:37,390 I've got no money on me, so you can fuck me, 721 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,100 but get us out of here. 722 00:40:39,350 --> 00:40:41,970 Go on. He's not looking. Jump him! 723 00:40:43,390 --> 00:40:46,260 Actually, we got free tickets off a friend. 724 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:47,470 Yeah. 725 00:40:48,350 --> 00:40:51,220 Did you agree with what I said before? 726 00:40:51,930 --> 00:40:54,510 We didn't really think about it. 727 00:40:54,850 --> 00:40:57,470 No, we don't really have a critical eye. 728 00:40:59,270 --> 00:41:02,140 But we understand. You had a 45-minute journey. 729 00:41:02,430 --> 00:41:03,890 And a 15-minute walk. 730 00:41:04,930 --> 00:41:06,470 - That's a lot. - Yeah. 731 00:41:07,220 --> 00:41:09,600 So, you're more demanding than us. 732 00:41:10,060 --> 00:41:12,560 - We live nearby, so it's OK. - Yeah. 733 00:41:12,850 --> 00:41:14,010 Really? 734 00:41:14,310 --> 00:41:17,470 That's news. It doesn't fall on deaf ears! 735 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,890 How can I put it? Can I sleep at your place if it's not over too late? 736 00:41:24,890 --> 00:41:27,810 - Well, we don't live together. - No. 737 00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:32,100 Whichever. I just don't wanna stress over missing the last train. 738 00:41:32,390 --> 00:41:33,720 It's easier for me... 739 00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:36,470 I only have 1 bedroom, so there's not... 740 00:41:36,770 --> 00:41:38,970 You have a pull-out sofa. 741 00:41:39,270 --> 00:41:41,470 - What? - You have a sofa bed. 742 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,390 Your place is much bigger. 743 00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:47,180 It's not the same, there's my cat. 744 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,060 - So? - He's tricky. 745 00:41:49,350 --> 00:41:53,310 Don't bother coming up with excuses. You don't want me there. 746 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,930 I don't dream of seeing your dirty socks! 747 00:41:56,220 --> 00:41:58,390 Calm down, you broads, OK? 748 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,890 So, is there anyone generous here tonight 749 00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:03,470 who'd put me up? 750 00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:06,600 So I don't stress over missing the last train. 751 00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:07,930 Me! 752 00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:11,430 If you stop all this crap now 753 00:42:11,810 --> 00:42:13,810 and if you let everyone leave... 754 00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:15,890 I can give you an attic room. 755 00:42:16,180 --> 00:42:19,390 You were rude to me before. Don't dictate to me. 756 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,600 This is the key to your apartment 757 00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:24,060 and your country house, OK? 758 00:42:24,470 --> 00:42:26,510 - I do as I like. - So, don't ask. 759 00:42:27,020 --> 00:42:29,260 - What? - Don't bother asking. 760 00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:33,720 If you know you can do as you please with that gun... 761 00:42:34,180 --> 00:42:35,310 don't ask. 762 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:38,310 You've got a point. Why do I bother? 763 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,850 I'll sleep on your sofa bed. 764 00:42:41,890 --> 00:42:43,680 OK, I don't mind. 765 00:42:43,970 --> 00:42:45,430 I'm sure you're not mean. 766 00:42:45,930 --> 00:42:48,680 Of course. You're seeing me in a bad light, 767 00:42:48,970 --> 00:42:51,220 but I'm a sweetie, don't worry. 768 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:52,890 But I don't like cats. 769 00:42:53,180 --> 00:42:56,760 Lock it up so it doesn't bug me in my sleep. 770 00:42:57,060 --> 00:42:58,970 - She has the cat. - Yeah. 771 00:42:59,270 --> 00:43:02,010 Oh, OK, fine. It's a deal, then. 772 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:04,310 The sofa bed it is! 773 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,720 That's settled. Great. 774 00:43:09,310 --> 00:43:13,100 If I find someone to buy me a nice meal, this could become 775 00:43:13,390 --> 00:43:15,180 the best night of my life! 776 00:43:16,390 --> 00:43:18,470 I like where this is going. 777 00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:20,810 You've got a nice face. Hi! 778 00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:24,560 'Evening. 779 00:43:24,850 --> 00:43:28,350 How about grabbing a bite to eat after the show? 780 00:43:30,270 --> 00:43:33,760 Why not? But it's late. Everything will be shut. 781 00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:37,720 This is Paris. There must be a tavern or something. 782 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,350 It's not easy around here. 783 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:41,600 Really? 784 00:43:42,180 --> 00:43:43,930 There's the Pig's Trotter. 785 00:43:45,770 --> 00:43:48,850 Near Les Halles. It's nice, they serve all night. 786 00:43:49,140 --> 00:43:51,640 Now I know your weird password, 787 00:43:51,930 --> 00:43:54,470 I'll do without your culinary tips. 788 00:43:55,060 --> 00:43:57,100 The Pig's Trotter suits you! 789 00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,640 The pig that gets his kicks! 790 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,310 We'll find something. 791 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,930 Even Arabic food - I'm not choosy. 792 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,760 A kebab? Yeah, I think we can find that. 793 00:44:12,060 --> 00:44:14,930 Always a solution. Don't just say no. 794 00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:16,720 Many people are like that. 795 00:44:17,020 --> 00:44:19,760 Say yes first, not no, even if you're wrong. 796 00:44:20,060 --> 00:44:21,680 Sir... Yannick? 797 00:44:22,350 --> 00:44:23,470 A word? 798 00:44:25,810 --> 00:44:28,890 I'd completely forgotten about him. 799 00:44:31,180 --> 00:44:35,890 We were so happy, chatting that I'd forgotten about this shit! 800 00:44:36,180 --> 00:44:37,350 A word? 801 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,810 What? Are you ready? What's going on? 802 00:44:41,390 --> 00:44:42,890 Something's wrong. 803 00:44:43,810 --> 00:44:45,100 Is it my lines? 804 00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:47,220 No, that's not the problem. 805 00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:49,970 Tell me. I won't be offended. 806 00:44:50,270 --> 00:44:52,720 I won't go to the Oscars with it! 807 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,310 How can I put it? 808 00:44:57,350 --> 00:45:00,390 It's weird that you're getting on with the audience 809 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,060 while we're hostages. 810 00:45:03,970 --> 00:45:06,560 Yeah, it's an unpleasant situation. 811 00:45:06,850 --> 00:45:09,390 It's very humiliating, see? 812 00:45:10,020 --> 00:45:11,930 Either you hold everyone up... 813 00:45:12,470 --> 00:45:14,060 Your choice, you're armed. 814 00:45:14,350 --> 00:45:17,310 Or you don't hold anyone up. That's also an option. 815 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,810 But you can't hold some people up. 816 00:45:20,060 --> 00:45:22,720 Something's wrong. That's not how it works. 817 00:45:23,060 --> 00:45:26,810 What do you mean, Brains? Who am I not holding up? 818 00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:28,140 The audience. 819 00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:30,850 You're joking with them. 820 00:45:32,470 --> 00:45:33,760 It's very ambiguous. 821 00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:38,390 Hold on... You're ambiguous, whispering like that. 822 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:40,140 I speak out loud, OK? 823 00:45:40,430 --> 00:45:43,010 What's it to you who I have a laugh with? 824 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:46,680 Sure. Let me explain it differently. 825 00:45:47,390 --> 00:45:49,600 - You want us to act properly - Yep. 826 00:45:49,930 --> 00:45:53,060 - You want people to enjoy it. - Yep. 827 00:45:53,390 --> 00:45:56,350 You want people to go home, feeling comforted. 828 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:58,560 That's the goal, yes. 829 00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:01,220 If you want the project to work, 830 00:46:01,970 --> 00:46:05,470 it's very important that people are on our side. 831 00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:09,350 Not on your side, but our side. That's very important. 832 00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,930 Understand? Otherwise, it won't work. 833 00:46:13,930 --> 00:46:15,010 Understand? 834 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,010 OK, I get it. 835 00:46:17,350 --> 00:46:19,640 You're jealous 'cause they like me. 836 00:46:20,890 --> 00:46:22,140 He's jealous! 837 00:46:24,850 --> 00:46:26,930 - Give it back. - Gotcha! 838 00:46:27,390 --> 00:46:29,350 You didn't. Give it back. 839 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,100 He got you good! 840 00:46:31,350 --> 00:46:32,970 Not so clever now! 841 00:46:33,390 --> 00:46:34,890 It's not like before! 842 00:46:36,350 --> 00:46:38,390 Did you believe-me, you nutter? 843 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,100 It'll end badly. Give it. 844 00:46:40,390 --> 00:46:42,350 OK. Is it loaded? 845 00:46:42,930 --> 00:46:44,680 - Is it real? - Give it a try. 846 00:46:44,970 --> 00:46:45,930 Is it loaded? 847 00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:48,350 You can't even hold it properly. 848 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,060 - Give it back. - You loser! Look. 849 00:46:51,770 --> 00:46:54,010 No-one looks at you without this. 850 00:46:54,220 --> 00:46:56,100 No-one gives a shit about you! 851 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,640 I know. There's no need to be harsh. Give it back. 852 00:46:59,930 --> 00:47:01,890 Stop it, you poor fool. 853 00:47:02,140 --> 00:47:04,810 You're lost for words now. "Give it back." 854 00:47:05,020 --> 00:47:08,100 "Give it back." How old are you? 8 and a half?! 855 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:09,560 What'll you do? 856 00:47:09,810 --> 00:47:12,930 You need to calm down, give me my gun back, 857 00:47:13,220 --> 00:47:16,100 and perform the play I wrote, as planned. 858 00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:19,560 Sure we will! I've never seen such shit! 859 00:47:19,770 --> 00:47:21,010 It's hopeless! 860 00:47:21,970 --> 00:47:23,970 As he said, it's subjective. 861 00:47:24,220 --> 00:47:27,060 Shut your face! Shut up! Put your hands up. 862 00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:30,100 - Hands up! - Like in cowboy movies? 863 00:47:30,810 --> 00:47:32,890 Yeah, I'm a cowboy. Hands up! 864 00:47:34,770 --> 00:47:36,470 Hands up, baby, hands up! 865 00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:39,180 Shut up! No, stop it and shut up! 866 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,680 Get down on the floor. Get down! 867 00:47:41,930 --> 00:47:42,970 What for? 868 00:47:43,270 --> 00:47:44,390 Call the cops. 869 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:45,890 - What? - The cops. 870 00:47:46,350 --> 00:47:49,010 I'm handling this, OK? Let me handle it. 871 00:47:49,430 --> 00:47:50,680 This is a bit weird. 872 00:47:50,970 --> 00:47:52,140 He's right. 873 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,760 Did you have the balls to intervene? No. 874 00:47:56,140 --> 00:47:59,810 You didn't move. I took all the risks, so leave it to me. 875 00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:02,260 - No... - Stop! 876 00:48:03,270 --> 00:48:04,350 Fuck! 877 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,560 It's a high-pressure situation. I've just done a heroic deed! 878 00:48:08,810 --> 00:48:12,640 Can't I vent for a second, just for the hell of it? 879 00:48:13,470 --> 00:48:15,310 So, shut your face! 880 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,310 Don't yell at them. 881 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,850 You'll have a heart attack. What's going on? 882 00:48:21,100 --> 00:48:23,310 I'll have a heart attack if I want! 883 00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,470 Now get down on the floor. I won't keep saying it. Go on. 884 00:48:27,970 --> 00:48:31,470 Be precise. How? Lying down? Sitting up? 885 00:48:32,890 --> 00:48:34,640 Get down on the floor! 886 00:48:34,850 --> 00:48:38,810 OK, I'm on all fours. There's no need to get worked up. 887 00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:42,100 That's good. 888 00:48:42,850 --> 00:48:43,760 Look at me. 889 00:48:44,470 --> 00:48:46,350 Know what you'll do now? 890 00:48:47,020 --> 00:48:50,220 You're going to bark. Go on, bark like a little dog. 891 00:48:50,470 --> 00:48:51,560 It's embarrassing. 892 00:48:52,140 --> 00:48:53,600 What's your problem? 893 00:48:54,220 --> 00:48:55,180 What? 894 00:48:55,430 --> 00:48:58,010 Can't I belittle him for my own pleasure? 895 00:48:58,220 --> 00:48:59,390 Stop defending him. 896 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,850 The guy has been terrorizing you for 2 hours! 897 00:49:05,140 --> 00:49:06,180 Now you love him! 898 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,760 - No... - What, then? 899 00:49:09,060 --> 00:49:11,100 You are kinda jealous! 900 00:49:11,890 --> 00:49:13,930 Stop it. I'm sick of it! 901 00:49:14,350 --> 00:49:16,760 You're the only one laughing here! 902 00:49:16,970 --> 00:49:20,470 "I had a 15-minute walk"! I'm sick of it, pal! 903 00:49:21,350 --> 00:49:22,560 I've had enough! 904 00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:24,510 More than enough! 905 00:49:25,470 --> 00:49:26,310 Lick the floor. 906 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,640 You've lost the plot now. You're showing your dark side. 907 00:49:29,890 --> 00:49:31,430 That's not right. 908 00:49:33,020 --> 00:49:34,180 Lick it now. 909 00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:37,890 Think of the audience. What'll they think of you? 910 00:49:43,270 --> 00:49:45,350 I don't care about the audience. 911 00:49:46,770 --> 00:49:48,720 I don't give a damn about them. 912 00:49:50,310 --> 00:49:52,970 He's right. What we do every night is shit. 913 00:49:53,270 --> 00:49:54,260 Isn't it? 914 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,390 Now is not the time... 915 00:49:57,020 --> 00:49:58,430 It isn't worth a damn. 916 00:49:59,270 --> 00:50:01,180 Look, they're bored shitless. 917 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,180 The place is half-empty. And their faces... 918 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:09,180 Shitty atmosphere! 919 00:50:10,470 --> 00:50:14,350 Their bored rat faces make me wanna fuckin' die! 920 00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:18,850 So, yeah, he's right, I am jealous! 921 00:50:20,180 --> 00:50:22,760 I wanted to make movies, not this! 922 00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:26,470 I like Depardieu, Belmondo, Dewaere! 923 00:50:27,350 --> 00:50:29,470 I hate these shitty sets! 924 00:50:29,810 --> 00:50:31,140 I don't give a fuck! 925 00:50:32,060 --> 00:50:35,760 How low I've fallen! What am I doing here? 926 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:38,430 You, you fuck... 927 00:50:43,810 --> 00:50:45,140 Go on. 928 00:50:46,770 --> 00:50:47,970 Lick the floor. 929 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:49,680 Go on. 930 00:50:50,850 --> 00:50:51,850 Lick it! 931 00:50:52,060 --> 00:50:55,310 First of all, what should I imagine? 932 00:50:55,310 --> 00:50:58,220 Is there food on the floor? Direct me. 933 00:50:58,430 --> 00:50:59,720 I can't just do it. 934 00:51:01,220 --> 00:51:04,890 You're gonna lick a bum's puke 935 00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:09,600 because you're a stray dog that lives in a garbage dump. 936 00:51:10,390 --> 00:51:13,390 I just wrote the scenario! 937 00:51:14,430 --> 00:51:16,850 Go on, lick it. 938 00:51:17,060 --> 00:51:20,180 Do it! Do it before I blow your face off. 939 00:51:20,430 --> 00:51:24,010 I'll count to 5. Do it. I don't care anymore. Look at me. 940 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:26,260 I'm beyond caring now. 941 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:27,680 Go on, do it! 942 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,180 Go on. 1... 943 00:51:31,310 --> 00:51:32,390 2... 944 00:51:33,140 --> 00:51:34,100 3... 945 00:51:34,890 --> 00:51:35,720 4... 946 00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,100 Where did you come from, you moron? 947 00:51:42,390 --> 00:51:44,680 Are you OK? Hold on, don't move. 948 00:51:44,970 --> 00:51:46,310 Keep still. 949 00:51:53,100 --> 00:51:54,890 Everything's under control. 950 00:51:55,850 --> 00:51:58,390 I'm handling things. You can relax now. 951 00:51:58,930 --> 00:52:00,140 I'm in charge again. 952 00:52:00,430 --> 00:52:01,220 I've had enough. 953 00:52:02,350 --> 00:52:05,260 I've been patient, but I've had it up to here. 954 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,810 You're all cretins. I've never seen anything like it. 955 00:52:09,140 --> 00:52:11,760 Well, I'm getting out of here. 956 00:52:12,180 --> 00:52:13,810 So, go home! 957 00:52:14,180 --> 00:52:15,890 Shut up, you fool! 958 00:52:19,060 --> 00:52:20,100 OK... 959 00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:25,260 He surprised me so much, I don't know what to say. 960 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:26,930 Honestly... 961 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,720 Frankly, I take it all back. You were... 962 00:52:31,220 --> 00:52:33,680 masterful. Really... 963 00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:36,390 I was too quick to judge, so, sorry. 964 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,760 I take back all I said. I take my hat off to you. 965 00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:42,810 Can we give him a big hand? 966 00:52:43,220 --> 00:52:45,010 Honestly, it was magic! 967 00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,010 Bravo, Paul Rivière! 968 00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:48,640 Hats off! 969 00:53:30,770 --> 00:53:33,470 THE CUCKOLD 970 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,220 It's 3:40 PM. Dr. Bertrand shouldn't be long 971 00:54:14,470 --> 00:54:18,720 because, in fact, we had an appointment at 3:40 PM... in fact. 972 00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:22,850 Hello, Madeleine 973 00:54:23,060 --> 00:54:25,390 I'm listening. Tell me everything. 974 00:54:26,470 --> 00:54:29,890 Hello, Doctor. I did all the tests you asked for, 975 00:54:30,140 --> 00:54:31,970 that I was supposed to do. 976 00:54:33,220 --> 00:54:34,180 Very good. 977 00:54:34,720 --> 00:54:36,560 So, what are your conclusions? 978 00:54:36,810 --> 00:54:39,850 Well, despite all the tests you asked me to do, 979 00:54:40,140 --> 00:54:41,890 that I did on this patient, 980 00:54:42,180 --> 00:54:45,100 I'm unable to give you a detailed diagnosis 981 00:54:46,310 --> 00:54:48,810 because according to the tests' results, 982 00:54:49,930 --> 00:54:53,810 it would seem that this patient is quite simply in a coma. 983 00:54:54,970 --> 00:54:56,010 I see. 984 00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,760 You mean that, despite the tests I asked you to do on this patient, 985 00:55:01,020 --> 00:55:05,180 you haven't noticed anything else about this patient, Madeleine? 986 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,220 Is that what the tests say? 987 00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:11,560 Yes, Doctor. I haven't noticed anything other than the fact 988 00:55:11,970 --> 00:55:13,890 that he is in a deep coma. 989 00:55:14,180 --> 00:55:16,510 Completely, according to the tests. 990 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,850 Sorry, Yannick, 991 00:55:21,140 --> 00:55:23,640 I'm not making fun of you, but... 992 00:55:24,430 --> 00:55:25,760 do we keep the mistakes? 993 00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:28,680 Say it like it's written. 994 00:55:28,970 --> 00:55:30,680 We keep them, OK. 995 00:55:35,140 --> 00:55:36,680 ...according to the tests. 996 00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:39,760 Are you certain about that? 997 00:55:40,020 --> 00:55:43,970 And lastly, are you certain you did the tests 998 00:55:44,180 --> 00:55:45,390 correctly? 999 00:55:45,810 --> 00:55:47,640 Absolutely, Dr. Bertrand. 1000 00:55:48,100 --> 00:55:51,350 I followed all the... potrocol to the letter. 1001 00:55:51,930 --> 00:55:55,510 I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this patient 1002 00:55:55,810 --> 00:55:58,560 is indeed in a deep coma. 1003 00:55:58,850 --> 00:56:00,760 I'm certain, according to the tests. 1004 00:56:01,060 --> 00:56:04,180 Very well. Don't take it badly, Madeleine... 1005 00:56:05,020 --> 00:56:07,510 Let me tell you something. 1006 00:56:08,430 --> 00:56:10,010 But you're wrong. 1007 00:56:11,180 --> 00:56:12,640 - Pardon? - That's right. 1008 00:56:13,270 --> 00:56:14,430 You're wrong. 1009 00:56:14,930 --> 00:56:19,100 I'll prove that this patient isn't in a coma any more than you or I. 1010 00:56:19,350 --> 00:56:20,640 You'll see why. 1011 00:56:21,770 --> 00:56:24,060 Kiss him on the lips. 1012 00:56:24,430 --> 00:56:25,220 Doctor... 1013 00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:27,720 You heard what I said. 1014 00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:30,140 Kiss him on the lips. Go on! 1015 00:56:30,810 --> 00:56:32,560 Well, really! Why, Doctor? 1016 00:56:33,310 --> 00:56:36,180 It's a final test. You'll see why. 1017 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:38,060 OK, here I go. 1018 00:56:39,180 --> 00:56:41,560 My God, no! I can't, Doctor. 1019 00:56:41,810 --> 00:56:43,810 His breath is awful. 1020 00:56:44,390 --> 00:56:47,720 It's worse than the sewers. I don't know if I can. 1021 00:56:47,970 --> 00:56:50,390 Don't be ridiculous, Madeleine. 1022 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,010 You are able to do this final test. 1023 00:56:53,220 --> 00:56:56,010 I'm asking you for the sake of science. 1024 00:56:56,270 --> 00:56:58,970 Alright, I'll do it for the sake of science. 1025 00:57:05,350 --> 00:57:06,760 My God, he moved! 1026 00:57:07,270 --> 00:57:08,640 There we are! 1027 00:57:10,430 --> 00:57:12,470 As you just saw, 1028 00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:15,850 this patient you did the final test on 1029 00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:18,060 is not in a coma. 1030 00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:21,760 He suffers from a far more serious disease 1031 00:57:22,470 --> 00:57:25,810 which is far more common than a mere coma, Madeleine. 1032 00:57:26,350 --> 00:57:28,390 What, then? Is he a zombie? 1033 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:29,850 Not at all. 1034 00:57:30,890 --> 00:57:34,010 It will surprise you, but I will tell you though. 1035 00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,470 And you will listen to me carefully. 1036 00:57:38,220 --> 00:57:39,760 And you will be amazed. 1037 00:57:40,890 --> 00:57:43,810 This patient, Madeleine, is lovesick. 1038 00:57:44,470 --> 00:57:45,720 Lovesick?! 1039 00:57:46,100 --> 00:57:46,930 Yes. 1040 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:53,220 I recently discovered, while conducting secret neurological research... 1041 00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:56,680 that many patients we think are in a coma 1042 00:57:56,930 --> 00:58:00,430 are, in fact, inanimate due to a lack of love. 1043 00:58:01,060 --> 00:58:02,810 Incredible, isn't it? 1044 00:58:04,470 --> 00:58:05,930 Nature is fascinating. 1045 00:58:08,100 --> 00:58:10,970 Mind you, forgive me, Doctor, but... 1046 00:58:11,270 --> 00:58:14,510 with his breath, mind you, it's understandable. 72321

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