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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,500
Cheers is filmed beforea live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,000
Here you go.
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Hey...
4
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:09,800
Something wrong?
5
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,100
Yes, I'll say.
6
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,800
You didn't ask me if
I needed anything else.
7
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,500
Do you see this roll
of dollar bills here?
8
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,500
Yeah.
9
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,800
This is your tip.
10
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,900
I've set it aside in advance.
11
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,700
Now here's the deal.
12
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,000
Every time you
do something wrong,
13
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,200
I take a dollar bill, see?
14
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,900
That way, I get decent service.
Understood?
15
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,700
Fair enough.
16
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,000
Here's my deal for you.
17
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,700
Every time you take away
a dollar, I do this.
18
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,800
That just cost
you another dollar.
19
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,700
There, you happy?
20
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,400
Your tip money's all gone.
21
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,600
That's just great.
'Cause I just got my own.
22
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,200
So, uh, how long is your
brother going to be in town?
23
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,300
Two weeks.
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,700
(theme song begins)
25
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,900
� Making your way
in the world today �
26
00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:16,900
� Takes everything you've got �
27
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,700
� Takin' a break
from all your worries �
28
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,600
� Sure would help a lot
29
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,300
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
30
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,900
� Sometimes you want to go
31
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:34,200
� Where everybody
knows your name �
32
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,900
� And they're always
glad you came �
33
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,200
� You wanna be
where you can see �
34
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,900
� The troubles
are all the same �
35
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:49,900
� You wanna be where everybody
knows your name �
36
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,500
� You wanna go
where people know �
37
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,200
� People are all the same
38
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,200
� You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. �
39
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,100
I would like to nominate
40
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,700
as the stupidest creature
on Earth
41
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:27,700
the one who awakens each day
42
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,000
to drive through
gridlocked traffic,
43
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,800
to sit in a windowless office
breathing re-circulated air,
44
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,800
then returns home and collapses
into a stupor--
45
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,900
only to do the same damn thing
all over again
46
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,400
every day until he dies.
47
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,800
Looking forward to that
vacation, eh, Fras?
48
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,700
You bet. We're going to Maui.
49
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:44,700
(Sam screaming)
50
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,900
Still having problems
with the computer, Sammy?
51
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000
No, I think I've figured
out what to do.
52
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:54,600
Kiss your keyboard good-bye.
53
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,200
FRASIER:
Sam!
54
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,200
Sam, Sam, give me the bat.
Come sit down.
55
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,000
Now, I'm sure that Lilith would
be delighted to help you
56
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,300
with your computer.
57
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,600
She tells me she has quite
an affinity for machines.
58
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,500
Naturally, you could have
knocked me over with a feather.
59
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,500
What is it with these
machines, anyway?
60
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,200
Computers... faxes,
voice mail.
61
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,700
You know, when I ran this
place in the old days,
62
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,300
I had everything
I needed... right up here.
63
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,600
Brains, Sam?
64
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,200
No, good hair.
Brains... (scoffs)
65
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,700
I'm serious, you know.
66
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,900
Good looks can open doors.
67
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,000
Good hair blows them
off their hinges.
68
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:33,600
Sammy, what are you going
to do about the computer?
69
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,500
Rebecca's gonna come
over here and fix it.
70
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,500
I just have to wait
until she shows up.
71
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,600
What about the auto show, Sam?
72
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,700
Don't you want to go
see the new models?
73
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,500
Ah, that's all right.
74
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,400
I know where they're
staying, Woody.
75
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,100
Uh, Sammy, we're out
of pretzels.
76
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,500
Oh, sorry.
77
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,900
Hey, we're out
of pretzels.
78
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,600
I think that's what I meant when
I said we were out of pretzels.
79
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,600
Sorry I was so cryptic before.
80
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,100
I don't understand this.
81
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,500
We were supposed to get
a big shipment today.
82
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,700
I mean, I, ordered 20 bags
from the distributor.
83
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,400
I even faxed it on Rebecca's
stupid fax machine.
84
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,100
Oh, well.
85
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,400
"Oh, well"?!
86
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,400
Sammy, there are those of us
who need their pretzels.
87
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,900
What am I supposed to do,
88
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,200
go down to the grocery store
and buy you some?
89
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,500
And get some Beer Nuts, too.
90
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,900
These are antiques.
91
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,200
You know, I have a yen
for some Cheese Doodles.
92
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,900
CLIFF:
Hey, uh, Sammy,
93
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,000
while you're out there, will you
pick me up some cough syrup?
94
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,200
I've got a-- little tickle.
95
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,700
All right, fine. I'm gonna do
this once, you guys,
96
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,700
but you gotta remember--
97
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,500
I'm supposed to be
the boss around here,
98
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,700
not your errand boy.
99
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:34,800
Feed my meter.
100
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,900
I've got those 20 bags
of cement you ordered.
101
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,700
What 20 bags of cement?
102
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,100
I ordered 20 bags
of pretzels.
103
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,200
I faxed my order
104
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,100
to Amalgamated
Snack Foods.
105
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,000
Oh yeah, we often
intercept their orders
so we can push cement.
106
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,800
Maybe what happened is
I faxed the wrong company.
107
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:54,900
That happens all the time.
108
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,400
So you'll take it
back for me?
109
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,100
Nope. You still got
to pay for it.
110
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,800
Good thing it happens
all the time.
111
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,000
Here, sign here. I'll
get the rest of it.
112
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,100
I've got no time to do this.
113
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,600
I have more important
things going on.
114
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,400
Thanks.
115
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,000
Woody, do something
with this cement.
116
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,300
Sure thing, Sam.
117
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,300
Listen, while you're out,
can you pick up
118
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:16,400
some aggregate, a water trough,
a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
119
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:21,200
Now, what am I going to build?
120
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:29,500
All right, here you go,
you clowns.
121
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,100
Cheese Doodles...
122
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,400
Beer Nuts, pretzels...
123
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,600
Uh, where's
the cough syrup, Sam?
124
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,900
Oh, I knew I forgot something.
125
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,900
Geez, Sammy, tickles just don't
go away by themselves, you know.
126
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,300
I'm sorry.
127
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,000
Oh, man, I know it's going
to get in my ears.
128
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,600
I just know it.
129
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,500
Sam, I believe I ordered
Cheese Doodles--
130
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,300
not "Imitation
Puffed Cheese" food.
131
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:05,100
So, I got the plain wrapped.
What's the difference?
132
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,400
"Can also be used
as packing material."
133
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,600
See, it's efficient, too.
134
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,600
"Keep out of the
reach of children."
135
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,900
You know, Sammy,
136
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,900
you shouldn't have to cut
corners like this.
137
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,300
If you're having money problems,
maybe we can help.
138
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,100
Come here, you guys.
139
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,300
Listen, you, you remember
that raise I gave you guys
140
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:26,400
a couple of weeks ago?
141
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,700
How much does it really
mean to you?
142
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,700
More than my
children's lives.
143
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,400
Okay, Carla gets to
keep her raise.
144
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,600
What do you say, Wood?
145
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,200
Well, I suppose I can put
it off a couple of months,
146
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,500
if it'll help.
147
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,200
Aw, yeah, thanks, man,
you're a brick.
148
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,200
In return for this concession,
I think the group medical plan
149
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,000
should be expanded
to include dental.
150
00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:54,400
I'm just barely keeping my
head above water here.
151
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,700
What are you doing to me?
152
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,600
You're acting like
selfish, greedy leeches.
153
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,300
Well, why should we work
here then, huh?
154
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,000
Because we're family, honey.
155
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,300
Why is everybody treating me
156
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,800
like I'm the biggest jerk
on Earth?
157
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,500
Don't worry about that, Sammy,
okay?
158
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,500
You're the owner here.
You have responsibilities.
159
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,600
If they can't handle that,
that's their problem.
160
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,500
Yeah, thanks.
161
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,700
Can I have another
beer, please?
162
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,000
I can't run a tab anymore.
163
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,200
I'm going to have to
take cash on this.
164
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,000
Or maybe you are the
biggest jerk on Earth.
165
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,300
Maybe you are!
166
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,900
Fine, you know, just fine.
167
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,500
What do you guys want
from me, huh?
168
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,000
Free medical plans--
raises all around.
169
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,700
How about free beer and all
the pretzels you can eat?
170
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,800
Can I get you anything else?
171
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,000
Can we have
"fondue night"?
172
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,200
No.
173
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,100
Not everybody likes fondue.
174
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,700
Hi.
175
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,200
Hi, Miss Howe.
176
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,900
Oh, Woody, you don't work
for me anymore.
177
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,800
You don't need to call
me "Miss Howe."
178
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,100
Just call me Rebecca.
179
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,300
Oh, hi, Rebecca.
(chuckles)
180
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,600
"Rebecca," I kind of like that.
181
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,000
What do you think, Norm?
182
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,400
Now, now, Woody. Come on.
183
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,500
I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson.
184
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,000
It's just not me,
Miss Howe.
185
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,700
Oh, great, there you are.
186
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,500
I can't stay long.
I only have a few minutes.
187
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,800
What's wrong with the computer?
188
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,800
Oh, nothing, really.
189
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,400
I just can't get
those little green letters
190
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,700
to pop up on the screen.
191
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,200
Well, did you try
booting it up?
192
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,600
Yeah, I did plenty of that.
193
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,900
Sam, you can call me stupid,
194
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,900
but I think if Miss Howe
was still around here,
195
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,800
she could take care of
all this technical stuff.
196
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,100
You're stupid.
197
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:32,600
I said Sam could
call me stupid, not you.
198
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,800
I don't know if that's
a good idea, Woody.
199
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,400
I said you could call
me stupid, not my idea.
200
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,000
Doesn't anybody
listen around here?
201
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,800
You don't think I don't
want Rebecca back here
202
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:43,900
managing the bar?
203
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,400
I'd love it, man, but she
204
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,600
quit, she's never
gonna come back here.
205
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:51,100
Well, Sam, you'll never know
unless you offer her the job.
206
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,500
Yeah, hey, how would
you guys feel
207
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,900
about Rebecca managing
this place again?
208
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,600
Well, would it raise
the price of beer?
209
00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,400
No.
210
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,300
Then what do we care?
211
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,600
All right, that's a good idea.
212
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,000
I'll offer her the job.
213
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,900
Oh, good. Did you find
out what was wrong?
214
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,100
Yeah, the disk was
in backwards
215
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,100
and the keyboard connection
was loose.
216
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,000
Also, you had picked it up
and thrown it on the ground.
217
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,500
Wow, Rebecca, you are
218
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,700
so great. You've got this
real knack for managing.
219
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,400
What, what are
you doing... for
the rest of the day?
220
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,300
What are you doing for
the rest of the week?
221
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,200
I'm going to work.
222
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:27,300
You got a job?
223
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,800
Yeah, didn't I tell you guys?
224
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,100
Yeah, and it could turn out
225
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,600
to be something
real exciting.
226
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,000
Oh, wow, what're you doing?
227
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,900
Well, I'm in
public relations now.
228
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,200
Good for you.
REBECCA:
Yeah.
229
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,000
I mean, it doesn't mean
I'll never see you guys.
230
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,100
I can still come in here
as a customer.
231
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:44,500
Of course, with work and all,
I mean, I can't stay
232
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,700
for ten, 12 hours at a stretch
like you guys.
233
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,900
Well, that's okay, you could be
in the part-timers club.
234
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,400
They sit over there.
235
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,400
And when you're ready to
commit, you'll let us know.
236
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,300
Yeah. Like Phil there--
he's right on the verge.
237
00:09:58,900 --> 00:09:59,800
Well, I'd better get back.
238
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,100
I've already been
gone ten minutes.
239
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,800
Ten minutes--
she'll never make the cut.
240
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,500
Bye-bye.
241
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,600
You know, it would've been nice
to have her back in the bar.
242
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:11,300
Come to think of it, you know,
243
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,600
how much work would there be
for her really to do?
244
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,900
I mean, do I really need
a manager?
245
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,800
I've got a truckload of sorghum
for a Sam Malone.
246
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,400
I didn't say I wanted sorghum.
247
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,200
I said I wanted
"some more gum."
248
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,400
God, I hate voice mail.
249
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,900
It's not my problem. Uh...
250
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,600
Where do you want me
to put this?
251
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,800
I don't know.
252
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,800
What is sorghum, anyway?
253
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:36,700
Oh, it's grain, Sam.
254
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,100
It's used to feed livestock.
255
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:42,700
So, if I put it in a bowl,
would those guys eat it?
256
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,300
Are you kidding?
257
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,000
I was late putting out the
Beer Nuts last night
258
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,800
and Mr. Peterson almost
snapped off my thumb.
259
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,600
Fill 'em up.
260
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,000
Woody, this new
trail mix is great.
261
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,600
Yeah.
262
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,200
Yeah, slide another
bowl down, please.
263
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,500
You might want to mix a raw egg
in there, Mr. Peterson.
264
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,000
Makes your coat nice and shiny.
265
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,500
What?
266
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,200
(laughing):
Oh, nothing.
267
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,500
Hey, guys, listen up
here for a second.
268
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,500
I want you to meet
someone here.
269
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,300
It's your new manager--
this is Earl.
270
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,100
Hey, Earl.
Hi, Earl.
271
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,800
Earl used to play shortstop
for the Cubs.
272
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,400
All right...
one of us, huh?
273
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,900
You guys from Chicago?
274
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,500
No. They're all losers.
275
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,800
(sneezes)
276
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,700
Boy, that sounds like
277
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,000
a nasty cold you've
got there, son.
278
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,000
And still you're out
there delivering the mail?
279
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,700
I've got a lot of
respect for you guys.
280
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,800
Sammy, give
this guy a raise.
281
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,300
Earl, get out
from behind there.
282
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,300
Come on, have a seat.
283
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,300
Oh, don't sit me down at a bar.
284
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,900
I'll never get up.
Ah...
285
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,600
It's either that
or go home to the wife,
286
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,200
and God knows I hate to do that.
287
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,400
Do you have the other half
of this amulet?
288
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,800
Looks like
you've found
a home here, Earl.
289
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,500
Oh, well, thanks, Sam.
290
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,300
Why don't you find me an apron
and I'll get started here?
291
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,400
Holy moly!
The man handles computers,
292
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,800
he tends bar...
293
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,100
Anything you
need me for, son.
294
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,000
Whoa! Would you...
295
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,000
What? What?
296
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,500
...catch a look
at that babe there?
297
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,700
Where are you?
Where are you?
298
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,300
In the poolroom,
kind of behind that pole.
299
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,200
Whoo! Boy, you
do have good eyes.
300
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,700
You sure you played
with the Cubs?
301
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:45,600
Well, guys, I...
I hope I do as well
as your last manager.
302
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,200
You're probably
going to want
303
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,300
to set your sights
a wee bit higher.
304
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,800
Come on, guys, guys, guys.
Rebecca's doing great.
305
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,600
Our old manager moved on
to bigger and better things.
306
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:59,700
Nothing can hurt a car
treated with Miracle Buff.
307
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,400
Absolutely nothing.
308
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,600
Watch me pour acid
on this car, and wipe it
309
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,100
right off!
310
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:12,100
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
311
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,000
REBECCA:
That's right.
312
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,800
Nothing can penetrate
the mirror-like luster
313
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,800
of Miracle Buff.
314
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,400
Not even... fire.
315
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,500
(panting)
316
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,300
You people are
just going to have
317
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,100
to take my word for
it this time, okay?
318
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
319
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,300
I have to take a break now,
320
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,600
but our next demonstration
will be in... one minute?!
321
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,100
I just get so afraid up there.
322
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,600
We're afraid for you.
323
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,900
But that's what makes
the auto show so exciting.
324
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,900
Hey, huh? Is this great
to cut out from work like this?
325
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:09,900
Yeah.
326
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,500
With Earl at the bar,
you know,
327
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,100
we can stay here all day.
328
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,600
Oh, Sam, check it out!
Sheepskin covers!
329
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,800
What are you doing, man?
330
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,200
Why are you buying
all this vinyl cleaner,
331
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,800
leather cleaner?
I mean, sheepskin?
332
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,000
You don't even
have a car.
333
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,100
I know, Sam,
but most of my furniture
334
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:26,600
comes from the interior
of cars.
335
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,200
I've got to be careful
when I shave
336
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,300
because objects may
be closer than they appear.
337
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,400
REBECCA:
Ladies and gentlemen, the next
Miracle Buff demonstration
338
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,700
will commence in ten seconds.
339
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,900
Oh, my God! Look at that.
That's Rebecca.
340
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,000
She's working the auto show.
341
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,900
Oh, wow! She does
have a great job.
342
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,000
She's Miss Miracle Buff.
343
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,300
SAM:
I don't think
she'd want us
344
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,500
to see her like this.
345
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,700
Just keep out of sight.
346
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,500
Miracle Buff,
the amazing discovery
347
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,400
that will make your car's finish
last a lifetime.
348
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,000
For safety reasons,
349
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,800
we can't actually simulate
a nuclear blast,
350
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,600
but we have already shown
that acid and fire
351
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,300
are no match for Miracle Buff.
352
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:13,400
Unlike human skin.
353
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,600
Sam, I don't think
I can keep up this pace.
354
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,500
I'm still dizzy from being
knocked in the face
355
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,700
from that airbag demonstration.
356
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,300
I think I'm going to go over
to the RVs and lie down.
357
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,200
REBECCA:
Now, you're probably
all saying
358
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,500
to yourself,
"Hey, Miss Miracle Buff,
359
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:31,800
would the same thing apply
to..." Boiling tar?!
360
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,800
No way! No. Forget it.
361
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,000
Then you get me
some oven mitts.
362
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:39,500
He won't even give me
any oven mitts.
363
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,900
I am making a lousy
six bucks an hour.
364
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,600
I mean,
that will not even cover
365
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,100
the skin grafts!
366
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,300
I'm not doing this anymore.
This is it!
367
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,600
You're not getting paid
for this.
368
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:53,800
Look, buddy, I am carrying
a boiling bucket of tar!
369
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:55,800
It's okay. It's all
right. It's okay.
370
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:59,400
Oh, Sam, could this
all be a bad dream?
371
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,200
No, honey.
This is the auto show.
372
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,000
My friends! Thanks to my buddy
Earl's amazing cold remedy,
373
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,300
you are looking at
the picture of perfect health.
374
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,600
Every sinus cavity
in my head is clear and dry.
375
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,900
Well, not dry, but moist enough
to be comfortable.
376
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,300
Glad you're feeling
better, Cliffy.
377
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,600
Eh! Thank you.
378
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,800
Did this, uh...
particular cold...
379
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,600
Did this start out
with a funny taste
380
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,000
up in the back
of your mouth?
381
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,600
Uh-oh! The old acid
in the adenoids.
382
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,700
Scratchy throat?
383
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,000
Yucky coating
on the tongue?
384
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,600
Sounds like an epidemic.
385
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,200
My friends, I don't want
to be an alarmist,
386
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,200
but tonight--
if you live through it--
387
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,700
is going to be the worst
night in your entire lives.
388
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,600
First, the cold sweats,
the pounding headache...
389
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,100
Cliff, I don't
want to hear this.
390
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,600
Don't worry, Norm.
391
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,500
In a few hours,
your ears will be so clogged
392
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,800
you won't be able
to hear anything.
393
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,200
Look, Clavin,
you gave us this cold,
394
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,900
and I'm going to get you for it.
395
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,700
You're not going to know when,
but I'll be there.
396
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,300
Don't worry, Carla.
I'll know when.
397
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,500
I'll hear your liquid-filled
lungs wheezing a mile away.
398
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,100
Hey, hey, everybody!
399
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,200
CARLA AND NORM:
Hey, Earl.
400
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,800
Hey! Norm, do me a favor,
will you?
401
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,800
Let me know how this tastes.
402
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:24,200
It's great.
What did you do?
403
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,400
Well, I adjusted the pressure
in the kegs,
404
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,500
and then I cleaned out
all the lines.
405
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,600
Earl, how do you like
the sound of this?
406
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,900
Mrs. Earl Peterson.
407
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:36,200
Come on.
408
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,300
Think about it.
Come on.
409
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,000
I don't know why you guys
410
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,000
are falling all over
yourselves about this Earl.
411
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,200
So he's a nice guy.
Big deal.
412
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,900
Uh... Carla, excuse me.
413
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,200
I noticed you've been carrying
your tray a little low.
414
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,000
Are... are your shoulders tense?
415
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,500
Let me just... if you don't
mind... let me just...
416
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,600
Oh! Oh!
417
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,800
That is the best
I have ever felt
418
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,100
without ending up
with a baby.
419
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,500
It wasn't just
the acid, Sam.
420
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,000
It was the fire,
and the simulated hailstorm,
421
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,700
and the live pigeons.
422
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,500
12 times a day,
I rubbed and I rubbed
423
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,100
and I rubbed and I rubbed.
424
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,100
Come on, Miss Howe.
The auto show couldn't
have been that bad.
425
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,100
Woody, I don't have
any fingerprints left!
426
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,900
Sit in here and calm down.
427
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,400
Rebecca was working
at the auto show?
428
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,400
Yeah. She was
Miss Miracle Buff.
429
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,300
Don't let the fancy
title fool you.
430
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,100
She was pitching snake oil
like a sideshow geek.
431
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,000
Woody?
What did she do?
432
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,600
Well, as near as I could tell,
433
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,700
everything but bite the head
off a live chicken.
434
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,400
Of course, we got there late.
435
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,600
It's an indestructible
space-age polymer, Sam,
436
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,600
and it's in my hair.
437
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,200
Why didn't you come to us?
438
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,500
I mean, come on. The auto show?
439
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,300
Because I was ashamed,
440
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,300
and I really wanted
to find a good job.
441
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,900
Oh, honey, I know, I know.
442
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,000
It's just that no
corporation will hire me
443
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,600
because of my
involvement with Robin.
444
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,000
I mean, it was either that or...
445
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,600
or selling myself on the street.
446
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,900
All right,
so I made the wrong choice.
447
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,400
Listen. Uh...
whatever, you know?
448
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,600
You've got a job here
managing, if you want.
449
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,500
I do?
450
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,300
Yeah.
451
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,000
Oh, Sam, thank you.
452
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,900
I'll do a great job for you.
453
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,700
� ...jolly good fellow,
for Earl's a jolly good fellow �
454
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,700
� For Earl's
a jolly good fellow... �
455
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,200
Shoot!
456
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,300
I forgot about Earl.
457
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:44,200
Who is Earl?
458
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,500
A jolly good fellow.
459
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,000
Oh, I know that, Sam.
460
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,900
He's working here now.
461
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,700
He's, uh... he's
a real nice guy.
462
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,500
We all got close
to him real fast.
463
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,600
He's like a father
figure to all of us.
464
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,300
Are-Are you sure you gave
the auto show a chance?
465
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,100
Sam!
466
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,000
Kid, you've got the job.
467
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,500
You've got the job.
This is swell.
468
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,400
And, you know, I bet
I'll grow to love Earl
469
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,900
just as much
as everybody else does.
470
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,800
Hmm...
So what do you want
me to do first?
471
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,700
Fire Earl.
472
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,300
NORM:
You fired Earl!
473
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,900
Norm! Norm! Norm! Norm!
474
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:31,400
Sam,
475
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,100
did you send this
poor little lady
476
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,500
out here to fire me?
477
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,100
No.
478
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,300
All right, I could
never lie to you, Earl.
479
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,900
Yes. Yes. But don't you see?
480
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,200
Rebecca's our friend,
and she needs the job,
481
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,000
and I can't afford
to hire both of you.
482
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,400
I'm sure you can go out
and get a job someplace.
483
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,000
Well, of course
I can, Sam.
484
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,100
I just wish you had
told me to my face
485
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,000
instead of handling
it this way.
486
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:58,100
I'm... I'm a little
disappointed in you.
487
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,900
Please don't say that.
488
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:06,200
I'm more than happy
to step aside.
489
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,000
I understand
the importance of loyalty.
490
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,200
You know, I always believe
that the only way
491
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,900
to run a business
or a friendship
492
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,700
or, hell, a life,
493
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:20,600
is through loyalty
and commitment to other people.
494
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:23,800
Gee, that's just what my
father always used to say.
495
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,900
Ah. Your father
was right, missy.
496
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,300
Hey, why don't
you pick up a phone
497
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,000
and give him a call?
498
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:41,200
Well, so long, everybody.
499
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,500
Bye!
Bye, Earl!
Good-bye!
500
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,000
Well, back to work.
501
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:54,800
Sammy, that was Earl
that just walked out of here!
502
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,500
(all yelling)
503
00:21:56,500 --> 00:22:00,000
I know, I know that, I... but I
had to hire Rebecca back.
504
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,500
Come on, she's our friend.
505
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,500
I can't afford both of them.
Don't you see?
506
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:05,900
I mean, I had to go
with the personal decision here.
507
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:09,100
I'm sorry. I just hope
you can live with it.
508
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,300
NORM:
Wait, wait.
Sam! Sam!
509
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:11,800
One question.
What?
510
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:14,000
Is this going
to raise the price of beer?
511
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:14,900
No.
512
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:16,400
Then what do we care?
513
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,200
Welcome back, Rebecca.
514
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,600
� For she's
a jolly good fellow �
515
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,900
� For she's a jolly
good fellow �
516
00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:26,000
� For she's a jolly
good fellow... �
Shut up! I can't hear Daddy!
37853
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