Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,400
Cheers is filmed beforea live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,200
Man, how about all that stuff
that's going on over at Cheers?
3
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,300
What's that?
4
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,000
You don't know about that?
5
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,800
Well, Rebecca, the babe
who runs the place,
6
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:20,200
you know she's been
dating Robin Colcord,
the multimillionaire.
7
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:21,200
Uh-huh.
8
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:23,300
Well, he tried to pull
a hostile takeover
9
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,500
of her corporation and she
was implicated in the deal.
10
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,100
So the corporation dumped her.
11
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,600
Guess who ended up
owning Cheers.
12
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,100
Sam Malone.
13
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,400
You're kidding.
14
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,000
Wait, you haven't heard
the best part.
15
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,100
Now, Colcord
skipped the country,
16
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,000
so Rebecca's ended up
having to take a waitress job...
17
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,800
at Cheers.
Wow.
18
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,500
W-Where do you get
this stuff, anyway?
19
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,400
I got my sources.
20
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,900
Another round on the house,
Mr. Peterson?
21
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,200
Thank you very much.
22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,400
(theme song begins)
23
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,400
� Making your way
in the world today �
24
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,500
� Takes everything you've got �
25
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,300
� Takin' a break
from all your worries �
26
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:16,200
� Sure would help a lot
27
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,800
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
28
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,700
� Sometimes you want to go
29
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,000
� Where everybody
knows your name �
30
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:34,700
� And they're always
glad you came �
31
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,900
� You wanna be
where you can see �
32
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,700
� Our troubles
are all the same �
33
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,700
� You wanna be where everybody
knows your name �
34
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,300
� You wanna go
where people know �
35
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,000
� People are all the same
36
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:54,000
� You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. �
37
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,500
Is Rebecca in her office?
38
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,400
I thought you ditched her
39
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,100
and skipped the country.
40
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,300
I did, but I've come back.
41
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,000
I finally realized what
Rebecca means to me.
42
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,100
What use is my money
or my freedom
43
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,700
if I don't have the woman
I love?
44
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,400
Rebecca?!
45
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,800
(gasps)
I'm back.
46
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,100
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
47
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,600
Oh, my God!
48
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,200
Rebecca, what is going
on in here?
49
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:39,500
Robin, I can explain.
50
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,600
Wait a minute.
51
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,400
My button's caught
in your zipper here.
52
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,200
Robin, I can't explain.
53
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,400
It's my own fault.
54
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,200
For all you knew, I was
never coming back again.
55
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,700
I left the way clear for
something like this to happen.
56
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,000
But Robin, nothing did happen.
57
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,800
Nothing?
No, nothing.
58
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,000
Okay, something almost happened
but I would never betray you.
59
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,100
I love you.
60
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,700
We didn't do anything.
61
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,400
Did we, Sam?
62
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,300
Yeah...
63
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,600
(clearing throat):
...what she said.
64
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:17,800
(knocking)
65
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,500
Hey, jailbird,
your lawyer's on the phone.
66
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,500
Your lawyer?!
67
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,900
Yes, I've made arrangements
to turn myself in.
68
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,900
Oh, Robin.
69
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,600
Oh, I'll wait for you.
70
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,400
I won't have any money
when I come out.
71
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,800
That doesn't matter.
72
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,800
I'll help you rebuild
your fortune.
73
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,800
Yeah, just look at what
she's done with this bar.
74
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,200
Oh, shut up.
75
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,800
Boy, just because you
lose a few billion bucks
76
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,100
is no reason
to cop a 'tude.
77
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:54,100
I guess I should go see
if Robin needs any help.
78
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:54,900
Sure.
79
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,200
Sam?
80
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:04,700
Thank you for lying about...
81
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,400
you know.
82
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,600
It's okay, sure.
83
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:13,700
Thank you for... you know.
84
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,100
I just think it was the
right thing to do.
85
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:26,100
The lying, I mean,
not the, you know...
86
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,100
Well, that, too.
87
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,300
Yeah.
88
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,600
Anyway... (clears throat)
well... see ya.
89
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:34,500
See ya.
90
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,000
(tiny object clattering)
91
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,600
Oh...
92
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,800
Your button.
93
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,400
Yeah. Thank you.
94
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,700
Well, my attorney's
spoken to the prosecutor
95
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,200
and I... I have to go.
96
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,000
Can't we at least wait
till morning?
97
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,100
Well, my attorney says that
if I turn myself in now,
98
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,800
I can avoid a media circus.
99
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,600
Do you have any idea what
these sleazy tabloids would pay
100
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,000
for a picture of Robin Colcord
the fugitive?
101
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,100
(gasps)
102
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,600
Okay, let's try
another one,
103
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:08,200
only, this time, look
a little bit more guilty.
104
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,500
Guilty?!
105
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,300
SAM:
What do you guys
think, huh?
106
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,900
I'm finished.
107
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,700
With, uh, with what, Sam?
108
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,900
With putting my old stuff
back on the wall.
109
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
It was gone?
110
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,100
Yeah, it was gone--
111
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,900
three years gone, man.
112
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,700
Rebecca had her stuff up there.
113
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,900
Ah.
Are you so taken
with your own lives
114
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,100
you don't notice the
changes going on around here?
115
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,300
Sammy, we notice the important
things, all right?
116
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,200
By the way, is Diane
coming in today?
117
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,400
Hey!
Hey!
118
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,300
Give this man
a drink-- whoo!
119
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,800
Sammy, I just realized,
120
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,500
I forgot to call Ma and
tell her the good news.
121
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,800
You know how
she loves you.
122
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,300
Boy, she's gonna be
tickled pink
123
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,200
when she hears you got
the bar back.
124
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,300
Hello, Ma!
125
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:59,100
Guess who the new
owner of Cheers is.
126
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,800
No, it's not me,
it's, uh, it's Sam.
127
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:06,000
Well, I'm, uh, still
a mailman, Ma.
128
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,700
Well, I know you had
high hopes for me, Ma,
129
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,200
but I couldn't finish college
and that's all there is to it.
130
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,500
She was thrilled.
131
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,400
SAM:
Hey, Woody.
132
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,400
It says here that
you and Carla
133
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,300
haven't had a raise
for over two years.
134
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:26,700
That's right, Sam.
135
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,000
I guess that's why I been
so darn moody lately.
136
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,800
Well, that's one of the things
that's gonna change around here.
137
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,800
Starting tomorrow, you guys
get a $20-a-week raise.
138
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,100
Wow, thanks.
139
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,200
Another thing here,
while I'm at it,
140
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,800
to celebrate the new management,
141
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,100
I am wiping out
everybody's bar tab.
142
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:51,000
Sam Malone, I am not a man
for mushy sentiment,
143
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,600
but I want you
to know something--
144
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:56,300
if you ever need a liver donor,
I've got one like yea big.
145
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:03,500
Woody, round of drinks on
the house for everybody.
146
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,800
All right!
147
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,600
(cheering)
148
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:07,700
Hi, Sam.
149
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,700
Oh, hi.
150
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,000
I didn't expect to see
you waitressing here today
151
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,900
with your billionaire
boyfriend back in town.
152
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,100
Well, it's only temporary
until I find a good job.
153
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,400
You know what they say--
154
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:23,100
better a temporary dead-end
stupid job than no job at all.
155
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,900
Ah, just what every
employer wants to hear.
156
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,800
Excuse me.
157
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,600
I'm gonna, uh, take
these plants of yours
158
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,500
out to the woods
and give them their freedom.
159
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,100
So, what's new, Miss Howe?
160
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:42,500
I just got back from
visiting Robin in jail.
161
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,400
They're not going
to let him out on bail
162
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,100
since he jumped
bond earlier.
163
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,700
They're gonna charge him
a huge penalty, even if
he pleads guilty.
164
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,900
I don't think they're gonna give
that poor guy any breaks at all.
165
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,200
I got a raise.
166
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,600
You deserve it, Woody.
167
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,000
I deserved it two years ago.
168
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,600
Who was the boss then?
169
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,600
Let me think.
170
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,300
Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
171
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,900
Boy, of all days for my kids to
handcuff me to the water heater.
172
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,600
Why, uh, what's the big deal
about today?
173
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,600
Didn't Sam tell
you what happened
174
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:22,800
in the office last night?
175
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,500
No. What?
176
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,500
He and Rebecca were in there
for for a mighty long time
177
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,200
and that place was wrecked.
178
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,400
He didn't mention a thing.
Really?
179
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,200
Maybe he's saving all
the dirty details for me.
180
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,400
He's such a gentleman.
181
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,500
(watch alarm beeps
three times)
182
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,400
Well, fellows, that's the bell
183
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,900
announcing Clavin's midmorning
brain twister.
184
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:47,300
Oh, you going to get up
and try to walk again?
185
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,100
Is this going to be along
the same lines
186
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,200
as yesterday's little pearl?
187
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,700
If the Lennon Sisters,
the Maguire Sisters
188
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,300
and the Andrew Sisters
all came to a four-way stop,
189
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,000
which would have
the right-of-way?
190
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,900
No, no, no, no.
191
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,500
This one is, uh, based on
historical fact.
192
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,600
Now listen up.
193
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:05,800
How would the Civil War
have changed
194
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:10,300
if Lincoln had had octopus
tentacles instead of a beard?
195
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,000
For God's sake, Cliff.
196
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,700
There is no practical
answer to that question.
197
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,400
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
198
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,800
Now we can assume that
the Gettysburg Address
199
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,100
would have been written on
the back of eight envelopes.
200
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,200
Very good.
201
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,400
Very good answer, Normie.
202
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,400
Also, he could have disarmed
John Wilkes Booth
203
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,600
and still applauded the play.
204
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,500
Now, in a related query,
205
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,800
what if Herbert Hoover was
able to expand his face
206
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:35,000
like a blowfish?
207
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,600
What were you guys
talking about?
208
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:42,300
Former presidents with
fish parts in their faces.
209
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,300
Come on.
210
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,800
Do you really expect
me to believe
211
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:46,500
you were talking about
something that stupid?
212
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,100
Where have you been
all these years?
213
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,500
Hello!
214
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,800
I know what you
were doing.
215
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,900
You were trying to
cover up the fact that
216
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:57,400
you were gossiping
about me.
217
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,500
REBECCA:
And, as soon as
I turn my back,
218
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,900
you will go on about Sam and
I in that office last night.
219
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,100
Didn't I tell you?
I knew something happened.
220
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,500
Ooh, guys, do you think Sammy
finally bagged Rebecca?
221
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:12,200
MEN:
Yeah!
222
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,000
Oh, hey, Rebecca,
I'm sorry.
223
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,300
This is, you know,
just guy talk, you know.
224
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,100
Carla, you think he
finally bagged Rebecca?
225
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,900
Yeah!
226
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,900
There he is.
227
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,000
Why don't we ask him?
228
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,400
Sammy,
229
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,000
last night--
230
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,300
you-- the Howitzer
in the office.
231
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,000
Come on.
NORM:
Come on, Sam.
232
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,400
Come on.
233
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,600
Guys, guys, that's tacky.
234
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,600
Sam, we know that.
235
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,100
It says it above
the door. Come on.
236
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,400
All right, if you must know--
237
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,700
nothing happened.
238
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,800
End of story.
239
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,500
I guess nothing did happen.
240
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,900
I guess not.
241
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,800
Sammy would never withhold
information like that.
242
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:59,000
No. He lives to talk
about that stuff.
243
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,800
And we live to
hear about it.
244
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:04,400
Aw, it's a symbiotic
relationship.
Mm-hmm.
245
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,500
Much like that between the shark
and the tiny pilot fish
246
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,200
that constantly swims
around its mouth
247
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,100
picking out the little
bits of meat.
248
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,200
I suppose you're now
going to tell me
249
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,800
that if George Washington
had had a pilot fish,
250
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,800
he wouldn't have
needed wooden dentures.
251
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:23,200
Now you're getting
up to speed, Dr. Crane.
252
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,000
Yeah. Yeah.
253
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,900
And then he could have, uh,
swum across the Delaware
254
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,500
to defeat the Hessians.
255
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,300
(laughing):
No Dr. Crane,
256
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,400
try to understand.
257
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,500
It's only the president's
face that changes.
258
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,700
It's not like he grew fins
or something.
259
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,400
(silly gibbering)
260
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,600
(knocking on door)
261
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,500
Sam.
262
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,000
Oh, hi.
263
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,300
I wanted to thank you
for your discretion.
264
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,600
What do you mean?
265
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,600
Well, not telling Robin
about us was one thing,
266
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,800
but not telling all
those goons out there--
267
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,500
I know that was
a real sacrifice.
268
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,000
No, no big deal.
Yes, it is.
269
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,800
I know how much you love
270
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,200
to crow to all
your friends
271
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,400
about your great
romantic encounters.
272
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,000
Rebecca, believe me,
it was nothing.
273
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,000
Wait, wait-- not telling
them was nothing,
274
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,400
or the great romantic
encounter was nothing?
275
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,900
What?
276
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,700
Oh, uh, the not
telling, of course.
277
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,800
No, the... romantic
stuff was great.
278
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,600
Wasn't it?
279
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,000
You know, I don't mean to be
disloyal to Robin or anything,
280
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,500
but... it was one of
the most powerful things
281
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,200
that's ever happened
to me in my life.
282
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,400
Really?
283
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:33,900
You need to get out more, hon.
284
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,000
What?
285
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,300
You mean you didn't like it?
286
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,100
No, I said I did,
didn't I?
287
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,200
No, it was great.
288
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,700
I liked... I really,
really liked it a lot.
289
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:47,900
But what?
290
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,800
Uh... I don't know.
291
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,300
It's, like,
292
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,700
maybe I was looking forward
to it too much, you know?
293
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,800
Like when you're really
excited about a new movie.
294
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,500
Like The Bad News Bears.
Remember that?
295
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,900
For weeks, people kept
coming up and telling me
296
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,800
what a great movie it was.
297
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,400
But when I finally
went to see it...
So it wasn't that great.
298
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,800
No, it's just Tatum O'Neal
throwing a ball around.
299
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,100
Not that.
300
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,100
Oh, you mean us?
301
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,900
I told you really,
it was fine, honey.
302
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,400
Fine?!
303
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,700
But it was a letdown,
like The Bad News Bears.
304
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,500
No, it was... (sputters)
305
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,100
much better
than The Bad News Bears.
306
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,800
Maybe I was a little off.
307
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,000
I don't... you know?
308
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,700
I mean, I knew
that I'd been depressed
309
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,000
and I'd been crying
for a couple of days and...
310
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,100
Wait a minute.
311
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,200
What?
312
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,800
I know what you're doing.
313
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,500
You are trying
to convince me
314
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,500
that I was not good in bed,
315
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,400
so I will go to bed
with you again
316
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,200
to prove how good I can be.
317
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,600
I swear to you, Rebecca...
318
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,300
No, wait a minute.
319
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,700
We did it once and that's
all we're gonna do it.
320
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,600
And no matter how much
we might want it
321
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:55,300
and no matter how great
it was for both of us,
322
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,600
we're never doing it again.
323
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,400
Fine.
I mean it, never again.
324
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,700
Gotcha.
You should listen to me--
there is no more.
325
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,000
I hear you
326
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,300
and I agree with you.
327
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,700
It was a terrific moment that
you and I had together,
328
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400
but the truth is,
you know,
329
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,000
I can see that you love Robin
and Robin loves you,
330
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,900
so, truthfully,
I'm liberated.
331
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,400
I feel, I feel good.
332
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,600
But I just hope we can,
you know, remain friends.
333
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,900
Get your mind out of your pants.
334
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,800
Hey, wait-wait-wait!
Come back here.
335
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,200
I wasn't trying to
do anything there.
336
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,200
Oh, stop caressing me.
337
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,000
I have had it
338
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,200
with this constant
sexual harassment!
339
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,800
I am quitting this job
340
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,400
and I'm never
coming back here.
341
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,200
Me too, man.
342
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,600
20 lousy bucks after two years.
343
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,900
Man, I'm out of here.
Wait up, Miss Howe, wait up...
344
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,600
Woody, that was a personal thing
between me and Rebecca.
345
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,300
It had nothing to
do with your raise.
346
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:50,200
Well, still, 20 lousy bucks...
347
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,700
Well, that's fine--
348
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,900
25. Now, let's get
back to work.
349
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:54,600
Come on.
350
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,900
Hey, keep your hands off.
351
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,200
Wait, wait, wait
a minute, Sammy, look,
352
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,300
Rebecca just said
she was leaving here,
and never coming back.
353
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,000
Yeah, that's right.
354
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,500
Oh, man.
355
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,100
This is terrible.
356
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,900
What?
357
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,200
Sammy finally struck
out for real.
358
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,400
Ooh.
359
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,700
(customers muttering,
murmuring)
360
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,500
What are you talking about here?
361
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,800
We all knew that it
was taking a long time,
362
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,600
but we thought that,
eventually,
363
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:35,600
you two would be doing
the horizontal hokeypokey.
364
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,700
But I guess that's it, huh?
365
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,000
Lower the flag.
366
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,000
The end of an era.
367
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,700
First, the Communist
bloc crumbles,
368
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,200
and now Sammy's studhood.
369
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,600
Yep. Guess that's it.
370
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,800
SAM:
No, it's not.
371
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,300
Come here.
372
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,500
Come on,
all of you.
373
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,300
I want you to step in
the office there,
374
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,800
and I'll show you where we...
375
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,000
uh, where we, uh,
376
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,500
decided to put up
some, uh, some shelves, uh...
377
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,100
Tall ones, you know,
it'll be great for books
378
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,200
and uh, some of my videotapes
and everything...
379
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:17,100
It'll be nice.
380
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,300
Breaks your heart, doesn't it?
381
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,200
What I can't figure
out is why,
382
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,600
why I don't want to tell
any of my friends.
383
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,400
No, that's not true--
I-I do want to, but I can't.
384
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,800
Why? That's...
385
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,900
That's...
You know, maybe
386
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,200
it was such a letdown
387
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,200
that I didn't feel like
bragging about it.
388
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,600
Or maybe it was not a letdown
389
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,500
and I was just ticked
that she dumped me
390
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,900
as soon as her boyfriend
walked in.
391
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,300
Or maybe she's right
392
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,500
and I'm just trying to get
her in the sack again.
393
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,800
I don't know.
394
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,400
God! I-I just...
I-I'm just a simple guy
395
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,100
trying to deal with
this complex problem.
396
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,900
Or maybe...
maybe I'm a complex guy
397
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,900
trying to deal with
a simple problem, I don't know.
398
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:04,500
What do you think, Father?
399
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,800
Am I to understand that
you had relations with a woman
400
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,600
who is not your wife?
401
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,300
Yes. That's, uh...
402
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:22,400
that's correct, Father.
403
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,300
Uh, what do I need to do?
404
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,600
Say three Hail Marys...
405
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:32,300
...four Our Fathers
and nine rosaries.
406
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,900
Thank you, Father.
407
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,700
Nine rosaries? That's a lot.
408
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,200
We're cracking down.
409
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,200
You mean that I...
I have to do that
410
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,200
for each one of these beads?
411
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,800
Hey, it's not a
religion for wusses.
412
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,900
CLIFF:
You know, uh, Sam,
413
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,800
we all feel kind of bad
414
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,800
about what you're
going through and...
415
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,900
as much as we live
vicariously through you
416
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,700
when you score, we...
also feel vicarious pain
417
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,800
when you strike out.
418
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,700
So what's the deal?
419
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,700
Are you gonna snap out
of this by the weekend
420
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,000
or do we have to go
rent a Matt Helm movie?
421
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,200
I'm fine.
422
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,400
Can we just drop
the subject, please?
423
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,000
Sam, is something troubling you?
424
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,700
Do you need to talk to someone?
425
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:33,000
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do
need to talk to someone.
426
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,000
I need to talk
to everybody here.
427
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,300
I don't know why
it's taken me
428
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,700
so long to get this out here,
but last night, in that office,
429
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,200
Rebecca Howe and I had...
430
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,000
uh, a disagreement about those
shelves I was telling you about.
431
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,600
Uh, you know, I'm gonna
put them up anyway.
432
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:51,900
You know, what the heck.
433
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,300
They'll be good for knickknacks
and everything.
434
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,000
I think they're gonna look,
uh, fine.
435
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:01,200
Matt Helm never had
to build shelves.
436
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,300
(knocks on door)
437
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,500
Hi, Sam.
Hi.
438
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,700
I didn't expect to see you here.
439
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,500
I just came back
for my final paycheck
440
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,400
and there seems
to be some mistake.
441
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,500
It's only for $16.
442
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,100
Oh, darn those computers.
443
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,800
How can they make
a mistake like that?
444
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,200
It was supposed
to be for six.
445
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,800
You got a ten on you?
446
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,300
This isn't about
a silly check.
447
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,500
Give me the check.
448
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,700
This is about us.
449
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,100
What about us?
450
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,100
Sam, we have been friends for
too long to let it end this way.
451
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,800
And I just came
back to say
452
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,500
that I'm sorry I ran out
earlier in a huff
453
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,400
and that I knew you
454
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,300
weren't coming on to me,
455
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,300
and that when you
said I wasn't good,
456
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,400
that it wasn't just some trick
to get me back into bed,
457
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,000
it was because you were
being honest,
458
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,300
because I am a lousy lover.
459
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,700
No, sweetheart,
you're not lou...
460
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,500
No, Sam,
it's all right.
461
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,700
It's not like I haven't
heard it before.
462
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,000
I have to learn to accept it.
463
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,700
You know, some people
are bad at math.
464
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,000
Some people can't skip.
465
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,300
No, no...
466
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,200
You're a fantastic lover.
467
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,700
I am a dud and I know it.
468
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,500
Robin just didn't realize it
because he's English.
469
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,500
Listen, I wouldn't say you
were good if you weren't.
470
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,300
Maybe I just, you know,
wasn't too enthusiastic
471
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,200
this morning because my
feelings were hurt.
472
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,900
I mean, the minute
he comes in here,
473
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,400
you act as if
nothing happened.
474
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,800
No... no, no.
475
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,200
Sam, that doesn't wash.
476
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,300
You have been after
me for three years.
477
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,200
And you finally got me.
478
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,900
I mean,
if I was even adequate,
479
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,100
I know that you would
have run out there
480
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,200
and told every bozo
in the bar.
481
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,100
You don't think I wasn't
dying to do that?
482
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,900
It was making me crazy.
483
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,500
It's just that I thought that
I'd be betraying our friendship.
484
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,400
I never really had
a friend before.
485
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,700
You have lots of friends.
486
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,400
No, no, I never "had"
a friend before.
487
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,200
It's weird.
488
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,800
I don't know
how to behave.
489
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:24,600
I don't...
490
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,400
So you really, really did this
491
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,300
out of respect
for our friendship?
492
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,900
Uh-huh.
493
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,700
Sort of... sort of like
you were being noble?
494
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,200
Well, I...
495
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:35,600
Yeah, I guess so.
I guess...
496
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,800
And, uh, I wasn't lousy?
497
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,400
No. You were fantastic.
498
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,700
Look, you want me
to prove it to you,
499
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,400
I'll go out there and tell
them that we made love.
500
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,100
No, no, no, no, Sam, no.
501
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,800
It's enough
502
00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:49,000
just knowing you're
willing to do that.
503
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,400
No, I think you need more.
504
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:55,600
No, no, no.
505
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:58,000
No, Sam, don't give
up your nobility.
506
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,700
Aw, come on.
507
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800
Let, a noble guy
have some fun here.
508
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,500
Oh! I get it: you
want to tell them.
509
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,800
Yeah. It's a guy thing,
you know.
510
00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:10,200
At least let me tell Carla.
511
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,000
Okay, go ahead.
512
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,600
Really?
Yes, yes, you've done
a lot for me; it's fine.
513
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,600
Yeah, this friendship stuff's
gonna to be fantastic.
514
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,700
Yes...
515
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:21,400
Hey, guys, guys,
listen up here.
516
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,200
(laughing)
517
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,500
Uh, last night...
518
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,500
Rebecca and I made love,
519
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,300
and she was fabulous.
520
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,600
(sighing deeply):
Well...
521
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:46,600
...this has got to be
the saddest day of my life.
522
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,900
What?
523
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,700
Sammy, you never had
to resort to lying before.
524
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,100
What, you don't believe me?
525
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:59,000
First of all, why would you
wait a whole day to tell us?
526
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,800
And second of all--
527
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,400
she was fabulous?!
528
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,400
Sammy,
529
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,800
come on, let's go
look at those shelves.
530
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:15,100
No, no, really,
I was being noble.
531
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,100
No, really, I was fabulous.
37829
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
