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1
00:00:03,429 --> 00:00:07,549
sync: alphamale
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
3
00:00:24,052 --> 00:00:25,198
Good evening.
4
00:00:25,269 --> 00:00:29,328
I have a request
for those of you who are
not watching television.
5
00:00:30,453 --> 00:00:32,340
Please turn on your set.
6
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,224
I'm sure I look much worse...
7
00:00:34,293 --> 00:00:37,807
in the flamboyant Technicolor
of your imagination...
8
00:00:37,878 --> 00:00:42,155
than I do
in the austere black and white
of television.
9
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,179
Thank you.
10
00:00:43,255 --> 00:00:45,491
I'm sure that's much better.
11
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:48,406
Although it may still be
one color too many.
12
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,885
Black and white
are very fitting this evening.
13
00:00:52,183 --> 00:00:53,612
As a matter of fact...
14
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:58,194
we considered edging
the entire picture in black,
but we gave that up.
15
00:00:58,616 --> 00:01:02,228
It would have been decidedly
unfair to those of you...
16
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,631
with very small picture tubes.
17
00:01:04,761 --> 00:01:07,249
Or narrow imaginations.
18
00:01:07,673 --> 00:01:10,674
Tonight's fable
is about Monica Laughton.
19
00:01:10,873 --> 00:01:14,670
A nice little old lady
with a penchant for funerals.
20
00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:17,785
You shall learn more
about Miss Laughton...
21
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:20,818
after our sponsor
gives this brief...
22
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,225
but heartfelt eulogy...
23
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,325
in behalf of his product.
24
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:47,256
Good morning, Theodore.
25
00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:50,260
Morning, Miss Monica. Another
of your picture-book mornings,
ain't it?
26
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:53,367
Yes, indeed,
a picture-book day,
but most bracing.
27
00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,532
I only wish
Oscar could have seen it.
28
00:01:56,606 --> 00:01:58,973
That's too bad, Miss Monica.
I sure am sorry.
29
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,013
Oscar, did you say?
Did he suffer much?
30
00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,397
Oh, no!
31
00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:05,016
One last convulsion
and he was gone.
32
00:02:05,536 --> 00:02:09,181
Cecily's dreadfully cut up.
They were to be married,
you know.
33
00:02:09,248 --> 00:02:12,728
I fear it won't be long
before she follows him
to the grave.
34
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,216
Just pining away, is she?
Miss Monica, did you want
anything extra?
35
00:02:16,289 --> 00:02:19,867
Oh, yes. Half a pint of cream,
with all these people around.
36
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:22,399
Oscar was quite wealthy,
you know.
37
00:02:22,753 --> 00:02:23,866
Brings out the relatives.
38
00:02:23,937 --> 00:02:25,595
Yes, ma'am,
I guess it would.
39
00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:26,909
Well, goodbye, Miss Monica.
40
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,636
Good day, Theodore.
41
00:02:38,595 --> 00:02:41,442
If your brother
doesn't come through,
we keep on hitchhiking.
42
00:02:41,508 --> 00:02:45,370
So if you want to travel
more elegant, you'd better
give him a good pitch.
43
00:02:45,444 --> 00:02:47,517
Reverse the charges
and make it person-to-person.
44
00:02:47,588 --> 00:02:49,693
Why don't you put the touch
on some of your relatives?
45
00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:53,725
Why don't you stop
asking stupid questions?
Just do like I tell you.
46
00:02:54,149 --> 00:02:55,196
(Theodore)
Morning, Arthur.
47
00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:56,251
(Arthur)
Morning, Ted.
48
00:02:56,324 --> 00:02:57,819
Miss Monica's
having another funeral.
49
00:02:57,893 --> 00:02:59,234
What, again?
50
00:02:59,461 --> 00:03:01,632
Oscar, poor fellow.
Passed away.
51
00:03:01,701 --> 00:03:02,781
Too bad.
52
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:04,195
What did he die of?
53
00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:05,855
Croup, I guess.
As usual.
54
00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:09,952
Sooner or later they're gonna
have to get somebody to
take care of Monica Laughton.
55
00:03:10,022 --> 00:03:11,877
It's dangerous her living
the way she does...
56
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,430
all alone with all that money
in the house.
57
00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:17,602
(Theodore)
Some folks don't reckon
there's all that much money.
58
00:03:17,671 --> 00:03:19,232
(Arthur)
She don't ever go to bank.
59
00:03:19,304 --> 00:03:21,889
She don't ever get any mail
except what she writes
to herself.
60
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,553
The money don't ever seem
to give out.
61
00:03:23,624 --> 00:03:24,769
She don't spend much.
62
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,952
Maybe it's nearly all gone.
63
00:03:26,024 --> 00:03:27,683
Don't you believe it, man.
64
00:03:27,753 --> 00:03:31,233
Monica Laughton's got a pile
of it stashed away somewhere
right in that old house.
65
00:03:31,304 --> 00:03:32,384
Maybe so.
66
00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:36,101
When I was a kid they used
to say her fianc� left her
near about a million dollars.
67
00:03:36,169 --> 00:03:37,696
So long, Arthur.
68
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,094
He's already gone
to work.
69
00:03:41,162 --> 00:03:42,656
Maybe I can call him
at the office.
70
00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:43,712
No, forget that.
71
00:03:43,786 --> 00:03:46,721
I got a better idea.
Get me the phone book,
I wanna look up an address.
72
00:03:46,795 --> 00:03:47,972
Come on.
73
00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:58,146
Frank.
74
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,075
I wish you wouldn't be
in such a hurry.
75
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:04,483
Now, if we have to do this,
I think we ought to wait until
we get our plans all laid out.
76
00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:05,571
Shut up.
77
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,750
I have the plans
all laid out already.
78
00:04:07,821 --> 00:04:09,228
I'm from
the Historical Society...
79
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,267
and I want to look at
all the old rooms...
80
00:04:11,341 --> 00:04:13,283
in this historical
old mansion, and that's all.
81
00:04:13,357 --> 00:04:17,668
Won't they be happy
to have the Historical Society
in the middle of a wake.
82
00:04:19,118 --> 00:04:20,525
Good morning!
83
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,376
Good morning, Miss Laughton.
84
00:04:22,446 --> 00:04:25,763
My name is Frank Bramwell,
and this here is my wife.
85
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:29,614
Bramwell. Bramwell? I see
you've brought your luggage.
But I don't--
86
00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:32,461
Well, we haven't
found a hotel yet, you see.
87
00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:35,688
Oh, dear me,
you mustn't go to a hotel.
88
00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:39,468
None of the family
ever go to hotels.
What would you think of me?
89
00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:42,155
No, we'll find a place
for you somewhere.
90
00:04:42,289 --> 00:04:44,199
Come in. Bring your bags.
91
00:04:46,065 --> 00:04:48,073
Everyone is here
in the front parlor.
92
00:04:48,177 --> 00:04:50,282
You'll want to see Oscar,
of course.
93
00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:52,077
Bramwell? Bramwell?
94
00:04:52,305 --> 00:04:55,437
Oh, of course.
Oscar's mother's people.
95
00:04:55,506 --> 00:05:00,046
I declare, everyone's been
so long trying to forget
Oscar's mother...
96
00:05:00,306 --> 00:05:03,122
it seems strange
to be trying
to remember her.
97
00:05:03,763 --> 00:05:05,258
My dears.
98
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:07,921
Here are
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
99
00:05:07,987 --> 00:05:11,021
Relatives of Oscar's
on the distaff side.
100
00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:13,296
I don't want to go in there
with all those people.
101
00:05:13,364 --> 00:05:14,739
They are bound to find out.
102
00:05:14,804 --> 00:05:16,593
Be quite.
Let me handle it.
103
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:17,675
Now.
104
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:22,287
Everyone is anxious
to see you
after all this time.
105
00:05:22,357 --> 00:05:25,969
It was good of you to come,
though a little unexpected,
of course.
106
00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:30,348
Now, these are
Oscar's cousins and aunts
and things.
107
00:05:30,422 --> 00:05:33,237
Mr. Farrell, Miss Nelson.
108
00:05:33,622 --> 00:05:35,051
Miss Larrabee.
109
00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:38,998
Miss Furlong, Mr. May.
110
00:05:39,702 --> 00:05:44,340
Mrs. Archibald, Mr. Archibald,
Miss Archibald.
111
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,327
Master Archibald.
112
00:05:47,895 --> 00:05:51,540
Miss Cecily Furness,
Mrs. Lorimer.
113
00:05:52,056 --> 00:05:53,812
Mr. Chalmers.
114
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,777
Mr. Farquahar, Mr. Pettigrew.
115
00:05:58,105 --> 00:06:00,887
If you will sit here
on these chairs.
116
00:06:00,953 --> 00:06:03,921
Would you move down one,
please, Mr. Farrell?
117
00:06:04,761 --> 00:06:09,137
I'm afraid we've already had
the reading of the will,
not knowing you were coming.
118
00:06:09,209 --> 00:06:11,184
But it doesn't matter,
you didn't get anything.
119
00:06:11,258 --> 00:06:14,422
I don't think
you were very close to Oscar,
were you?
120
00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:19,025
Of course, some people
have the funeral first,
but we always do it this way.
121
00:06:19,099 --> 00:06:20,561
Cecily, dear...
122
00:06:20,891 --> 00:06:22,996
do stop crying.
123
00:06:23,323 --> 00:06:27,285
Oscar has passed
to a higher life.
Nothing will bring him back.
124
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:30,868
Perhaps you ought to go
to your room, dear.
125
00:06:32,828 --> 00:06:33,974
Tippie.
126
00:06:35,388 --> 00:06:37,723
You're getting fat
and lazy.
127
00:06:39,581 --> 00:06:42,548
You should go to the kitchen
and catch the mice.
128
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:47,671
Well, perhaps you'd like to go
to your room and freshen up.
129
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:50,263
Of course you'll want
to see Oscar first.
130
00:06:50,335 --> 00:06:51,644
Come along.
131
00:06:52,158 --> 00:06:55,322
He's probably
changed a good deal
since you knew him.
132
00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,094
He does look natural.
133
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,549
Doesn't he?
134
00:07:03,968 --> 00:07:05,178
[titters]
135
00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:06,941
Come along.
136
00:07:11,712 --> 00:07:12,890
Oh, I forgot.
137
00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:15,929
If anybody wants
a glass of sherry
before lunch...
138
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,824
please help yourselves.
139
00:07:27,842 --> 00:07:31,225
Really, it's difficult
to know what to do
with you.
140
00:07:31,715 --> 00:07:34,945
If you had telegraphed,
it would have been easier.
141
00:07:35,779 --> 00:07:38,627
There now,
we'll find somewhere.
142
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:42,882
Last month when Adelaide died,
we even had cots in the hall.
143
00:07:44,484 --> 00:07:45,695
Just a minute.
144
00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:49,409
[whispering]
Frank, I'm scared.
I mean, she's loony.
145
00:07:49,477 --> 00:07:51,102
You don't know
what crazy people will--
146
00:07:51,173 --> 00:07:52,188
You're the crazy one.
147
00:07:52,261 --> 00:07:54,716
This is the biggest break
we ever had.
Just do like I tell you.
148
00:07:54,789 --> 00:07:56,415
Come in.
149
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,269
I'm going to put you
right in here.
150
00:07:59,526 --> 00:08:03,301
A funeral is always so sad
when the deceased is young.
151
00:08:04,103 --> 00:08:06,558
Ours were all young.
All young.
152
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,221
Oscar is next
to the last.
153
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:11,325
He was the best man.
154
00:08:11,399 --> 00:08:13,439
Cecily was
the maid of honor.
155
00:08:14,216 --> 00:08:16,583
Now they're all gone
but Cecily.
156
00:08:16,903 --> 00:08:18,497
All the wedding party.
157
00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,997
Wedding party?
158
00:08:20,104 --> 00:08:21,533
Who was the bride?
159
00:08:21,608 --> 00:08:22,688
Why, I was.
160
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,754
My fianc� was killed
in a carriage accident
on the way to the church.
161
00:08:28,553 --> 00:08:30,790
This is all I have left.
162
00:08:31,657 --> 00:08:33,664
It was on the wedding cake.
163
00:08:38,314 --> 00:08:39,591
Richard...
164
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,533
is gone.
165
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,299
Gone to glory, all of them.
166
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:50,501
Well, there you are.
If you need anything,
just call.
167
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,150
We'll have lunch
a little early today
on account of the funeral.
168
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,424
You come down
when you're ready.
169
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,882
She's put us in her own room.
Where else would the money be?
Start looking.
170
00:09:17,134 --> 00:09:19,884
Frank, for the hundredth time,
I'm hungry.
171
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:20,899
Oh, shut up.
172
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:22,884
We'll find the money,
then we'll eat.
173
00:09:23,951 --> 00:09:25,228
[exclaims]
174
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:29,868
You are untidy.
Must you scrabble
through my room like monkeys?
175
00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:33,612
Where's the money.
That's why we're here, and
that's what we're gonna get.
176
00:09:34,609 --> 00:09:37,904
So you came only
after poor Oscar's money.
You admit it.
177
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,303
Well, I told you.
He didn't leave you anything.
178
00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:41,417
Oh, dear.
179
00:09:41,488 --> 00:09:45,548
We'll straighten it up,
Miss Laughton.
Is it time for lunch?
180
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,862
Lunch is over.
181
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:50,246
We had it
while you were up here
hunting for Oscar's will.
182
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,526
I told you
we'd already read it.
183
00:09:52,946 --> 00:09:55,248
Besides, why should he
leave it in my room?
184
00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:57,103
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
185
00:09:57,203 --> 00:10:01,611
I don't think you're going to
add anything to the occasion.
I think you'd better go.
186
00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:06,256
If you need some money
I can let you have a little.
What did I do with my purse?
187
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,533
Really.
188
00:10:07,604 --> 00:10:09,514
This is terrible.
189
00:10:09,588 --> 00:10:11,890
And the house
full of guests, too.
190
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:14,572
After all,
Elvira can't do everything.
191
00:10:16,597 --> 00:10:20,656
Is it all right if we go
downstairs to the kitchen
and get some lunch?
192
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,203
Certainly. I never refuse food
to anyone.
193
00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:29,169
Food! Food!
194
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:44,720
Can you beat that?
There's nothing in here
but some stale cheese...
195
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:47,247
some old milk,
and a can of lard.
196
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:51,729
This ought to go tasty
with the cheese. Look at that,
it's just about as old.
197
00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:54,192
Frank, I can't stand it.
198
00:10:54,265 --> 00:10:56,567
I'm going out and getting me
a hamburger.
199
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,127
Don't you go any place.
200
00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:01,911
Don't you stick your nose
outside. We don't want anybody
to know we're here.
201
00:11:03,194 --> 00:11:05,300
Maybe she really
hasn't got any money.
202
00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:08,983
Don't believe that.
Did you see the flowers
around that coffin?
203
00:11:09,051 --> 00:11:11,571
Straight from the florist.
And this house and furniture?
204
00:11:11,642 --> 00:11:12,886
And her jewelry, don't forget.
205
00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:15,770
Maybe that money
ain't in her room, but it's
somewhere in this house.
206
00:11:15,835 --> 00:11:17,974
But I am so hungry.
207
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,800
You always have to talk
about food? Here.
208
00:11:19,868 --> 00:11:21,429
How can I talk
about anything else?
209
00:11:21,499 --> 00:11:23,354
I haven't eaten
since yesterday.
210
00:11:23,452 --> 00:11:25,111
[telephone ringing]
211
00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:29,044
Do be quite.
212
00:11:29,117 --> 00:11:32,565
It knows I never answer it,
but it's so persistent lately.
213
00:11:32,637 --> 00:11:34,710
I only had it put in
to please Oscar,
214
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,985
but now that he's gone
there's no need for it.
215
00:11:37,054 --> 00:11:41,310
I told the postman
to tell the telephone company
to come and take it away...
216
00:11:41,374 --> 00:11:45,597
but they haven't done it.
I suppose they still ring up
to argue about it.
217
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:49,334
I have decided
to postpone the funeral...
218
00:11:49,407 --> 00:11:53,401
because I don't think
Oscar would like
fortune hunters to be present.
219
00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:56,254
So we won't have it
till after you are gone.
220
00:11:57,696 --> 00:11:59,801
We'll have the dinner anyway.
221
00:11:59,904 --> 00:12:01,726
We must try to bear up.
222
00:12:01,952 --> 00:12:03,479
Now, let me see.
223
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:06,906
Melon first.
Then the capon, rice...
224
00:12:07,265 --> 00:12:09,370
butter beans, salad.
225
00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:12,831
I hope Elvira doesn't forget
the Roquefort.
226
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,134
Charlotte russe, coffee.
227
00:12:15,617 --> 00:12:19,033
And the champagne.
Yes, we may as well
have the champagne.
228
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,594
It'll comfort Cecily,
poor dear.
229
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:24,956
[sighs]
230
00:12:26,147 --> 00:12:28,700
Now, while she's in there,
I'm gonna look in the parlor.
231
00:12:28,771 --> 00:12:31,292
Not you. Stay in there
and keep an eye on her.
232
00:12:31,364 --> 00:12:33,404
I don't want her getting out
and talking to anybody.
233
00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:35,101
Till after
we get the money.
234
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,765
No, Lorna.
235
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:39,392
We don't want her
to talk ever.
236
00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,180
What do you mean, Frank?
237
00:12:42,244 --> 00:12:43,193
We don't have to--
238
00:12:43,269 --> 00:12:44,283
Now, wait a minute.
239
00:12:44,357 --> 00:12:47,554
We don't know anybody
in this town, and nobody
knows that we're here.
240
00:12:47,621 --> 00:12:50,785
Or that we have any connection
with Miss Monica Laughton.
Right?
241
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:52,892
So.
242
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:54,909
No, I don't like it.
243
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,640
What's the matter with you?
244
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:59,972
The only way we can get caught
is if we leave the old goof
alive to talk.
245
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:03,650
You wanna take a chance like
that just for a dippy dame
that don't know up from down?
246
00:13:03,718 --> 00:13:04,929
Let me go.
247
00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:08,414
It's just that
we've never been
in anything like this before.
248
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,870
We are in it and we're
gonna go through with it,
you understand?
249
00:13:15,144 --> 00:13:18,527
Look, that old dame,
she's lived long enough
anyhow.
250
00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:41,864
Frank. Frank.
251
00:13:42,507 --> 00:13:45,410
Ladies and gentlemen,
dinner is served!
252
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,258
Will you take me in,
Mr. Bramwell?
253
00:13:49,772 --> 00:13:52,041
Go on, just so long
as we eat.
254
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,209
Miss Laughton.
255
00:13:58,444 --> 00:14:00,070
Thank you, Mr. Bramwell.
256
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,473
Come along, my dears.
257
00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:08,455
Cecily.
258
00:14:08,878 --> 00:14:10,983
You sit here
next to me, dear.
259
00:14:11,631 --> 00:14:14,828
Mr. Chalmers, will you sit
on my other side?
260
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:18,473
And Mrs. Archibald, next.
261
00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:22,693
Mr. May, Miss Archibald.
262
00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,413
Mr. Farquahar.
263
00:14:26,544 --> 00:14:27,951
Miss Furlong.
264
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,087
And Mr. Archibald.
265
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:34,761
Now, on this side
there is Mr. Farrell.
266
00:14:35,505 --> 00:14:36,814
Miss Nelson.
267
00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:39,020
Master Archibald.
268
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:41,963
Miss Larrabee.
269
00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:44,871
Mr. Pettigrew.
270
00:14:45,714 --> 00:14:47,121
Mrs. Lorimer.
271
00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:51,405
Oh, yes,
Mr. and Mrs. Bramwell.
272
00:14:52,339 --> 00:14:54,161
I thought you had gone.
273
00:14:58,420 --> 00:14:59,467
Well.
274
00:15:00,243 --> 00:15:02,185
Just one moment, my dears.
275
00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:07,826
Now, my dears,
you mustn't mind me.
276
00:15:07,892 --> 00:15:09,354
Just go ahead...
277
00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:12,877
and enjoy
Elvira's wonderful cooking.
278
00:15:14,293 --> 00:15:17,326
The doctor has told me
I must be very careful
for a while...
279
00:15:17,397 --> 00:15:19,732
but I shall enjoy
watching you eat.
280
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:25,934
Yes, indeed, Mr. Farquahar.
281
00:15:26,007 --> 00:15:28,876
Yes, the melons are
from our own garden.
282
00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:32,496
And I must say I think
they're the best
we've had this year.
283
00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:36,816
[chuckling]
284
00:15:36,887 --> 00:15:39,440
No, we just play at gardening.
285
00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:42,828
But I will say this,
that what we do raise,
is the best.
286
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:52,111
I think everyone
has finished now. You may
remove the melon, Elvira.
287
00:15:52,697 --> 00:15:55,731
I beg your pardon,
Mrs. Archibald, I didn't hear.
288
00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:59,190
Oh, yes, indeed. Devoted.
289
00:15:59,482 --> 00:16:03,192
Elvira has been with us
ever since
I was just a little girl.
290
00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:06,297
No, thank you, Elvira.
You can't tempt me.
291
00:16:06,363 --> 00:16:08,665
The doctor was firm,
very firm.
292
00:16:08,955 --> 00:16:11,225
Just a little soup, he said.
293
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:14,357
For a while.
Just a little soup.
294
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:17,812
You may bring in
the capon now, Elvira.
295
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,050
I'm going to help Elvira!
296
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:23,125
Thank you, Mrs. Bramwell.
But I'm quite sure
Elvira can manage--
297
00:16:23,197 --> 00:16:25,302
I'll just help Elvira
open this.
298
00:16:28,349 --> 00:16:30,553
A most unfortunate young man.
299
00:16:30,621 --> 00:16:34,234
Only a distant cousin,
I believe.
On the mother's side.
300
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,098
[exclaims]
301
00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:45,108
All those wonderful smells
were coming
from just one can of soup.
302
00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:48,479
I bet she's got the food
hid someplace,
like the money.
303
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:49,686
Hey, we got this.
304
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,741
[exclaiming]
305
00:16:50,815 --> 00:16:53,882
Frank, open it.
I'm going crazy.
I do need a drink.
306
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,521
I bet she's got
lots more of this hidden
in the basement some place.
307
00:17:07,649 --> 00:17:08,598
Oh.
308
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,522
It's vinegar!
309
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:13,277
She must have had it
100 years. It's turned sour.
310
00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:14,971
I'm gonna kill that old--
311
00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:16,733
Frank, remember.
She is not responsible.
312
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,112
That's all.
313
00:17:18,179 --> 00:17:21,310
That's all I'm gonna take
from that old dame.
314
00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:25,503
I'm going to go in there
and work on her right now.
315
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,532
Frank.
316
00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:38,335
So you do have a safe.
317
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,780
All right, open it.
318
00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:41,438
I said, "Open it."
319
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,843
No.
320
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:44,924
I don't want you
pawing through my things.
321
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,972
I'm gonna kill you
just for the pleasure of it.
322
00:17:47,046 --> 00:17:49,665
Now open that safe
and be quick about it.
323
00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:51,422
Well.
324
00:17:51,943 --> 00:17:55,555
I will open it,
if you promise not to destroy
any of my private papers.
325
00:17:55,623 --> 00:17:58,787
I promise! What do I care
about the papers? Open it.
326
00:17:58,919 --> 00:18:02,597
Well, I suppose
the only way to convince you,
is to open it.
327
00:18:09,064 --> 00:18:11,683
Really, this is
very presumptuous of you.
328
00:18:12,744 --> 00:18:14,567
There. Now remember....
329
00:18:16,265 --> 00:18:19,232
What's all this junk in here?
Where's the money?
330
00:18:19,305 --> 00:18:20,712
Look at that.
331
00:18:20,905 --> 00:18:25,161
Fans, dance programs,
valentines.
A safe full of moldy junk!
332
00:18:25,226 --> 00:18:27,299
[quavering]
Oh, how could you?
333
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:28,778
You promised!
334
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,715
You promised you wouldn't.
335
00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:35,141
[crying]
336
00:18:35,691 --> 00:18:37,415
Mr. Bramwell.
337
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:39,490
You have made me
very angry.
338
00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:41,571
You are a man
without honor.
339
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,996
I have been trying
to forget you, but you have
made that impossible.
340
00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:48,614
I will never tell you
where anything is.
341
00:18:48,876 --> 00:18:52,554
I will tell you only this,
that there is no money here
for you.
342
00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:55,335
Do you want to die?
343
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:01,158
If you kill me, I couldn't
possibly tell you anything,
could I?
344
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,724
I'll kill you anyhow.
345
00:19:02,797 --> 00:19:05,099
Do as you please,
Mr. Bramwell.
346
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:09,705
Please refrain
from annoying my guests,
if you can.
347
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:11,880
I'll kill them, too.
348
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,478
No! You mustn't!
349
00:19:14,895 --> 00:19:18,441
If you don't tell me
where that money is, I'm gonna
kill every one of them.
350
00:19:18,511 --> 00:19:20,072
Every single one.
351
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,216
No! You mustn't.
You mustn't harm them.
352
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,134
[shuddering]
353
00:19:25,777 --> 00:19:28,395
Give me till morning.
I must think.
354
00:19:28,945 --> 00:19:30,701
You've had enough time
to think. Now--
355
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,330
Frank, wait.
356
00:19:32,497 --> 00:19:35,978
Now, it may take forever
to find it
if she doesn't tell us.
357
00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:40,267
Give her till morning,
I think you've really
got her scared now.
358
00:19:41,778 --> 00:19:42,825
Okay.
359
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:45,997
I'm gonna give you
till morning.
360
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:47,757
Then if you
don't dig up that money...
361
00:19:47,826 --> 00:19:51,122
I'm gonna kill
every one of these people,
and you, too.
362
00:19:53,587 --> 00:19:56,271
Come on, Cecily,
time to go to bed.
363
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,692
Goodnight, everyone.
364
00:20:14,518 --> 00:20:16,973
No, no, Tippie!
365
00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:18,224
[mewing]
366
00:20:18,487 --> 00:20:20,876
You've had all
you're going to have.
367
00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:23,053
You're positively bulging.
368
00:20:23,543 --> 00:20:26,642
No. Besides, you know
you don't like cupcakes.
369
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:28,790
These are for the mice.
370
00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:32,401
Now then, you ought to
be ashamed of yourself,
a great big cat like you...
371
00:20:32,472 --> 00:20:36,564
letting the mice stamp
all over the kitchen
as if they owned the place.
372
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,382
[Tippie mewing]
373
00:20:38,456 --> 00:20:40,660
Where did I put
that rat poison?
374
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:46,800
They may as well die happy.
375
00:20:50,362 --> 00:20:52,948
And they do love cupcakes.
376
00:20:55,258 --> 00:20:56,687
(Lorna)
Frank.
377
00:20:56,762 --> 00:21:00,559
Wake up. There's
the most marvelous smell
coming from downstairs.
378
00:21:00,923 --> 00:21:03,345
I think
she's in the kitchen cooking.
379
00:21:09,628 --> 00:21:12,945
You go and play in the sun.
It's going to be a lovely day.
380
00:21:13,180 --> 00:21:14,128
Good morning.
381
00:21:14,204 --> 00:21:15,382
Is breakfast ready?
382
00:21:15,452 --> 00:21:18,005
Breakfast is over long ago.
Do you always sleep
this late?
383
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:20,826
Late? It's only 7:00.
Isn't there
any more coffee?
384
00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:22,649
Oh, no.
I don't drink coffee.
385
00:21:22,718 --> 00:21:24,856
Elvira will probably find you
something to eat.
386
00:21:24,926 --> 00:21:25,874
Wait a minute.
387
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,990
You've had all night
to think about it.
388
00:21:28,062 --> 00:21:30,102
Now dig up that money.
No stalling around.
389
00:21:30,174 --> 00:21:31,963
Or I go in there
and kill all those people.
390
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:35,129
You're too late, they've gone.
I sent them all away
last night.
391
00:21:35,199 --> 00:21:38,548
I told them it wasn't safe
with a lunatic like you
in the house.
392
00:21:38,623 --> 00:21:41,340
What do you mean they're gone?
No, they ain't gone.
393
00:21:41,407 --> 00:21:43,612
Frank, have you
gone crazy, too?
394
00:21:44,255 --> 00:21:45,237
Those are for the mice.
395
00:21:45,311 --> 00:21:47,733
And so are you,
you old goof!
396
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:51,103
Do you dig up that money
right now,
or do I use this on you?
397
00:21:51,168 --> 00:21:52,891
I haven't quite decided.
398
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,481
I am going into the parlor
and talk to Richard.
399
00:21:55,553 --> 00:21:57,692
Maybe he'd like me
to join him.
400
00:22:02,049 --> 00:22:04,438
What did I tell you?
I knew she would see it
our way.
401
00:22:04,513 --> 00:22:05,790
[giggling]
402
00:22:12,354 --> 00:22:13,696
[exclaiming]
403
00:22:20,803 --> 00:22:22,145
Good morning, Theodore.
404
00:22:22,211 --> 00:22:23,870
Morning, Miss Monica.
405
00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:25,762
You had another death
in the family.
406
00:22:25,828 --> 00:22:27,683
I'm afraid so, Theodore.
407
00:22:27,749 --> 00:22:31,164
Most disconcerting. Especially
with no accommodations.
408
00:22:31,237 --> 00:22:32,350
Ma'am?
409
00:22:32,901 --> 00:22:35,073
I want you to take a message
for me.
410
00:22:35,141 --> 00:22:39,746
Tell Mr. Grimley
I want him to send me
a new coffin right away.
411
00:22:39,974 --> 00:22:41,316
His best. His very best.
412
00:22:41,382 --> 00:22:42,330
A coffin....
413
00:22:42,406 --> 00:22:44,097
You want another....
414
00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:46,270
You had two deaths
in the family?
415
00:22:46,343 --> 00:22:48,928
Not the immediate family.
416
00:22:48,998 --> 00:22:50,787
Distant cousins.
417
00:22:50,854 --> 00:22:52,960
But we must do our best.
418
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:57,596
Your bill.
Well, I'll pay it right away.
419
00:22:57,671 --> 00:22:59,395
There's no hurry,
Miss Monica.
420
00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:03,294
I know I've got a $5 bill
here somewhere.
421
00:23:04,104 --> 00:23:06,690
No, I'm out again.
422
00:23:07,305 --> 00:23:10,240
Well, Theodore.
Take this $1,000 bill.
423
00:23:10,313 --> 00:23:12,255
You can bring me
the change tomorrow.
424
00:23:12,329 --> 00:23:16,323
Good gosh, Miss Monica.
You shouldn't keep all that
money in your purse like that.
425
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,921
That's an awful
lot of money.
426
00:23:17,993 --> 00:23:21,158
It's the safest place
in the world, Theodore.
427
00:23:21,418 --> 00:23:23,906
It's the safest place
in the world.
428
00:23:24,522 --> 00:23:25,951
Good day, Theodore.
429
00:23:26,026 --> 00:23:27,815
Good day, Miss Monica.
430
00:23:34,988 --> 00:23:37,955
How well,
as the French tell us,
"C'est la mort. "
431
00:23:38,316 --> 00:23:41,862
I thought rat poison
was charmingly appropriate,
didn't you?
432
00:23:41,933 --> 00:23:44,267
After all,
"Sweets to the sweet..."
433
00:23:44,332 --> 00:23:48,872
And, I can think
of no better time
to segue into our next theme.
434
00:23:49,229 --> 00:23:52,491
After which,
I'll segue back to you.
435
00:23:55,021 --> 00:23:59,178
The opinions expressed
by my sponsor, are his.
436
00:24:02,095 --> 00:24:05,095
Those of you who wish,
may join us again next week.
437
00:24:05,167 --> 00:24:07,589
When we'll be back
with another play.
438
00:24:07,695 --> 00:24:08,972
Goodnight.
439
00:24:09,305 --> 00:25:09,631
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