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1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,800
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:08,600
Oh, hi, Dr. Sternin.
3
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,400
Dr. Crane isn't here.
4
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,400
I know. He's at home,
and that's why I'm not.
5
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:14,900
CARLA:
Whoa-ho!
6
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,800
Trouble in Casa de Wacko?
7
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,900
Not really.
8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,500
Scotch, Woody.
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,700
I'm just not looking
forward to going home.
10
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,200
Frasier's giving me
11
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,500
every indication
that he expects me
12
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:30,700
to indulge in another one of his
silly little fantasies tonight,
13
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,900
but it's really rather personal.
14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,000
I know just
what you mean.
15
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,500
Husbands can drive you nuts
about stuff like that.
16
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,000
Take my Eddie.
17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,000
He borrowed this
fairy princess costume
18
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,600
from the ice show.
19
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,100
Really.
20
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,400
Every Friday night,
I have to dress up
21
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,900
and put a magic
sex spell on him.
22
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,100
Well, as long
as we're sharing,
23
00:00:57,100 --> 00:01:00,300
here's what I have
waiting for me.
24
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,500
Every so often,
Frasier likes
25
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:04,600
to regress
to his childhood.
26
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,400
First, he insists
on calling me Mommy.
27
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,900
I fix him cinnamon toast
and strawberry milk.
28
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:14,100
Then it's bath time--
one of my favorites--
29
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,800
followed by my
tucking him into bed
30
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,100
and singing "All the
Pretty Little Horses."
31
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:23,800
After that,
we make love until
the windows rattle.
32
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,500
Men! They're really
something, aren't they?
33
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:32,600
Oh, by the way, about all
that fairy princess stuff?
34
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,500
I was just kidding.
35
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,700
So was I.
36
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,600
Oh, right, Mommy.
37
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,900
Hey, guys, get
a load of this!
38
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Oh! Carla! Carla!
39
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:49,400
( piano plays )
40
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,300
� Sometimes you want to go
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00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:57,200
� Where everybody
knows your name �
42
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,200
� And they're always glad
you came �
43
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,200
� You want to be
where you can see �
44
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:07,200
� Our troubles
are all the same �
45
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:12,300
� You want to go where everybody
knows your name. �
46
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,100
Afternoon, everybody.
47
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ALL:
Norm!
48
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,800
Hey, Mr. Peterson. There's
a cold one waiting for you.
49
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,300
I know. And, if she calls,
I'm not here.
50
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,600
You're just the man
I want to see here.
51
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,800
Listen, I want you taste
this Bloody Mary for me.
52
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,700
Oh, please, Sammy.
Not again.
53
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,600
We did this
all day yesterday.
54
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:52,400
And we're going to do it all day
today until we get this right.
55
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,600
Now, listen up, everybody.
56
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,200
I am not losing
the Bloody Mary contest
57
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,700
to Gary's Olde Towne Tavern
again.
58
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,900
Now, please.
59
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:58,800
I got Rebecca out there.
60
00:02:58,900 --> 00:02:59,800
I got Carla out there.
61
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,400
They all got their
little jobs to...
62
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,300
The least you can do
is taste this for me.
63
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,500
All right, all right.
64
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,600
There you go.
65
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,100
Huh?
66
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,200
What do you think?
67
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,500
Not bad, Sammy.
Yeah?
68
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,500
Yeah. I mean,
it's a little thick, but, uh...
69
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,400
All in all,
70
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,600
I'd have to say it was...
71
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,200
( choking )
72
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,100
That's great. I get the point,
man. That's very funny.
73
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:31,900
No, no. I actually...
I rather liked that one.
74
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,200
Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa.
75
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,300
Would you guys stop
horsing around here?
76
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:38,100
I'm serious. I want
this guy Gary,
and I want him bad.
77
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,400
I am tired
of having him
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00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,200
do everything
better than we do.
79
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,900
He's got a better
softball team,
80
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,300
a better
tag football team.
81
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,000
Better T-shirts.
82
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,800
They have T-shirts?
83
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,300
Here. I'll show you.
84
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,500
NORM:
Oh, yeah.
85
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,300
I've got that one in red.
86
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,800
Ooh! They have
them in red now?
87
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,000
CLIFF:
But you got
to preorder.
88
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000
They're 100% cotton.
89
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,400
All the sizes
are very true.
90
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,800
I'll order one
this afternoon.
91
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,900
Listen, you guys
are not taking
me seriously.
92
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,200
I mean it. I want
to hurt this guy
where he lives.
93
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,000
Speaking of that,
have you seen his house?
94
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,900
He's renovating this
beautiful old Victorian.
95
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,200
It's on the cover
of Boston magazine.
I saw that.
96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,100
I hear he's coming out
with a new T-shirt of it, too.
97
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,000
You guys are
not helping me.
98
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,700
Sammy, I'm back.
99
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,900
Well, what took you so long?
100
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,600
I just spent the last two hours
101
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,900
wandering through the streets
of Chinatown,
102
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,900
thanks to your
brilliant directions.
103
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,400
What? What?
104
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,600
"Look for a shop
with a dead duck
hanging in the window."
105
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,900
I defy you to find
a shop in Chinatown
106
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,900
without a dead duck
in the window.
107
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,400
Anyway...
108
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,900
I got it.
109
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,000
You are looking
at the last ounce
110
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,800
of black cardamom on
the Eastern seaboard.
111
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,000
Ooh...
112
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,700
Nice. Sammy, let's
see that stuff, huh?
113
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:47,800
Sammy, you really
think that stuff
114
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,000
is going help us
win the contest?
115
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:49,800
Are you kidding me?
116
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Wait until you see
what this does
117
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,400
to the taste of a Bloody Mary.
118
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,600
Whoo, boy!
119
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,600
This is pretty pungent stuff,
huh?
120
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:56,600
( chuckles )
121
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,500
( sneezes )
122
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,300
Oh, my God! My allergy.
123
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:06,200
Did someone bring some
black cardamom in here?
124
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,700
CARLA:
Woody! It's all gone!
125
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,200
Great. There goes the contest.
126
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:11,900
Well, big deal.
In about 20 minutes,
127
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,700
I'm going to swell up
like a blowfish.
128
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,900
Well, what... what
are we supposed to do now?
129
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,800
Usually, I pack
my face in ice.
130
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:27,600
Sam, guess what
I've got under my coat.
131
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,800
If I guess right,
can I keep them?
132
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,800
No, you idiot.
133
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,600
I've got some of Gary's
top secret Bloody Mary mix.
134
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,900
Hey, way to go,
Rebecca!
135
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,400
Baby, how did you get it?
136
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,600
How do you
think I got it?
137
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,800
You did that dorky twirl,
138
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,100
and, when he laughed,
you grabbed it and ran.
139
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,700
Okay, fine. Forget it.
140
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,700
I'm not going to tell you.
141
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,400
Oh, come on.
We won't make fun of you.
142
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,400
All right.
That thing Carla said.
143
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,800
Well, I'm the one
that got it.
144
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,300
Well, that's good.
That's good.
145
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:00,500
Now I'm going to take it down
146
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,200
to the company
pharmaceutical division
147
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,200
and have it analyzed
148
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,700
to find out
Gary's secret ingredient.
149
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,700
CLIFF:
No, no. No need
to do that, Rebecca.
150
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,000
Sammy, pour me a shot
of that concoction.
151
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,400
I'll tell you
exactly what's in it.
152
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,300
Oh, man, I don't know.
153
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,000
No, no, no. I've got very
sensitive taste buds.
154
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:13,600
As a matter of fact,
in medieval times,
155
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,900
Clavins were
the royal tasters.
156
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:19,100
I heard they
were royal something.
157
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,600
Well, I don't know
what's in it,
158
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,600
but Gary makes the
best Bloody Mary
I've ever tasted.
159
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,000
NORM:
All right, Sammy,
160
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,100
set me up with
a shot of that, huh?
161
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,100
Let me have
some of that.
162
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,600
Hey, hey, you guys,
don't drink it all.
163
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,900
I have to take
some to the lab.
164
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,600
This is great.
165
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,800
Gary deserves to win
this contest every year.
166
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,300
It's almost worth cramming
myself into this dress.
167
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,700
Hey, I'd dress up
as a hooker
168
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,100
to get some
of this stuff.
169
00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:52,600
Oh, come on, you guys.
170
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,200
It can't be that special.
171
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,600
I suppose you're going
to tell me
172
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,700
that Cheers has never made
a Bloody Mary this good.
173
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,200
Sammy, Cheers never
made anything this good.
174
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,400
I wonder what's in it.
175
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,900
( sneezes )
176
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,200
( jar breaks )
177
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,100
Well, we know
there's black cardamom in it.
178
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,700
Damn it, Woody!
179
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,400
Ah! Cheers...
180
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,700
where good times go to die.
181
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,200
CLIFF:
Well, well, well!
182
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:25,400
If it isn't Gary from
Gary's Olde Towne Tavern.
183
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,600
Look, pal,
didn't I tell you
184
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,200
if you step one
more foot in here
185
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,600
you'd have me
to answer to?
186
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,800
Yeah, and I told you
if you got in my way
187
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,000
you'd wind up
in the next zip code.
188
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,500
Then we have had
this discussion, huh?
189
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,800
Now, I brought a little present
to my friends at Cheers.
190
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,200
Oh, yeah?
What's that, Gary?
191
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,000
Towels for you to cry into
192
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,600
after I win
the Bloody Mary contest.
193
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,700
You know what I'd like
to do with that towel?
194
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,400
I'd like to shove
that up your nose,
195
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,200
pull it out your mouth
a couple times,
196
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,900
and buff up your
sinuses for you.
197
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,500
Oh, as if you could.
198
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,800
Oh, I could.
199
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:58,400
You could not.
200
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,300
Could too.
201
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,000
Could not.
202
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,700
Could too.
203
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,700
Could not!
204
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:03,000
Could too!
205
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,400
Way to go,
Sammy!
206
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,300
See me slip that
"could too" in there?
207
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,400
Well, you won that one, Malone.
208
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,300
But that's
209
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,700
the last thing
you're going to win.
210
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,300
Hey, big shot,
we won this contest
211
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,800
the first two years they had it.
212
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,500
Well, since I opened,
I've won the last four.
213
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,400
All that proves is
that you've won it
214
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,300
twice as much
as we have.
215
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,400
How did you
like that, Sam?
216
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,900
Let me handle this, Woody.
217
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,900
Just get going.
Get out of here, would you?
218
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,400
Is this
the thanks I get
219
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,200
for my
heartfelt gift?
220
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,700
No.
221
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,300
This is.
222
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:38,000
Oh, that's nice.
223
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,500
I see you're still hiring
the cool Grace Kelly type
224
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,800
for waitresses.
225
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,600
Choke on it!
226
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,600
Okay, okay, I'm going back
to the Olde Towne Tavern,
227
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,300
where
228
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,100
my exclusive satellite coverage
229
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,100
of the World Welterweight
title fight
230
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,600
is about to get underway.
231
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,800
Hey.
232
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,000
Hey, wait. Hey, come on.
233
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,400
Where the hell
do you think you're going?
234
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,800
Uh... just taking
a little stroll.
235
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,800
Ah! That was refreshing,
wasn't it?
236
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,700
Hey, Doc.
What's going on?
237
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:23,400
Well, for one thing, I find
myself baching it again.
238
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,300
Lilith finally
blow her brains out?
239
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:29,300
No. But thank you
for asking after her, Carla.
240
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,500
So where is
the lovely Dr. Sternin?
241
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,300
Well, she's in Albany
for a few days
242
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,700
attending a conference
on gender stereotyping.
243
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,600
Gender stereotyping?
244
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,600
Yes. It's unfairly attributing
certain modes of behavior
245
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,100
exclusively to one sex.
246
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,200
That sounds
kind of boring.
247
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:45,300
Why did she
go to that?
248
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,600
Who knows?
249
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,100
You know women.
250
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,100
I can't tell you
how honored we are
251
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,500
that you've
chosen our bar
252
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,600
as the site of the
Bloody Mary contest.
253
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,300
Well, we were
going to hold it
254
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,900
at Gary's
Olde Towne Tavern,
255
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,400
but they're just so
darn crowded in there.
256
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,700
Well, you know,
257
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,700
you'll never have
that problem here.
258
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,800
Well, I better be going.
259
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,100
I have to drop off
a set of rules
at Gary's Tavern.
260
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,700
So long.
261
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:12,700
Bye.
262
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,400
What the hey?
That's Gary on the TV.
263
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,900
GARY:
We hid a secret camera in
a competitor's establishment.
264
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:24,700
Let's hear what they have to say
about Gary's Bloody Marys.
265
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,600
Boy, I don't know
what's in that,
266
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,700
but Gary makes the best
Bloody Mary I've ever tasted.
267
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:31,300
GARY:
Really?
268
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,200
Gary deserves to win
this contest every year.
269
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,400
Thank you very much.
270
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,800
And you'd be surprised
271
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,300
what some people would do
272
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,400
to get a hold
of my Bloody Mary mix.
273
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,900
Hey, I'd dress up
like a hooker to get
some of this stuff.
274
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:44,500
GARY:
But you can get
a pretty good Bloody Mary
275
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,900
just about anywhere in town.
Isn't that right?
276
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,600
Cheers never made
a Bloody Mary this good.
277
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,200
If you say so,
Sam Malone of Cheers.
278
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,400
Anybody know
the way to Gary's?
279
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,800
I'll give you a lift.
280
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,400
I can't believe
that weasel filmed us!
281
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,900
Oh, that stunt tears it.
Now I'm mad.
282
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,300
Yeah, I can tell.
How?
283
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,700
That little vein
bulging in my forehead?
284
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,700
No.
285
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,300
My nostrils flaring?
286
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,300
No.
287
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,400
My jaw is clenched?
288
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,800
No.
289
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,100
Well, then,
how can you tell?
290
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,000
You just said,
"Now I'm mad."
291
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,400
Yeah, well, now I'm really mad.
292
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,300
Yeah, I can tell.
How?
293
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,400
I'll tell you something.
This is war. This is total war.
294
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,800
No prisoners, no truce,
no amnesty, no nothing.
295
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,400
Only one of us is going
to walk out of there standing.
296
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,800
Well, what are you
going to do, Sam?
297
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,000
Well, for one,
to really mess him up,
298
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,500
we're going to have
to infiltrate his bar.
299
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,400
CARLA:
Yeah.
Oh, let me do it, Sam.
300
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,900
Please. Let me do it.
301
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,800
You know, I've taken
a lot of makeup classes.
302
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,200
I can... I can
put on a disguise
303
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,300
and get in there without
anyone knowing about it.
304
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,700
Woody, I don't think so.
305
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,100
Oh, come on.
Let me do it.
306
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,700
I feel responsible.
307
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,200
I'm the one who
blew away the spice.
308
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,800
I'm the one
who broke the jar.
309
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,600
I'm the one who broke
the door in the men's room.
310
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,600
What?
311
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,600
At the bus station
downtown.
312
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,500
Come on. Let me
make it up to you.
313
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,700
Woody, you just...
you don't know
314
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:00,900
what you're getting
yourself into.
315
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,100
I mean, those guys
at Gary's are vicious.
316
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,500
They could
strip you naked,
317
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,600
paint you red and
put you on a subway.
318
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,700
They wouldn't do that.
319
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,000
They did it to me.
320
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,000
But I got
the best of 'em.
321
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:12,700
How's that?
322
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,300
I loved it.
323
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,000
Wait a minute, Woody,
come here, come here.
324
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,500
Woody, Woody, Woody,
325
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,000
I've got a plan.
Listen up.
326
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,200
Shh!
327
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,500
Gary had a camera in here
the other day.
328
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,000
He could have a spy
in here now.
329
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,600
And the whole place
could be bugged.
330
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,700
Come on, you guys.
331
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,300
Whoa, whoa.
332
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,200
Don't take off in a clump
like that.
333
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,200
It'll look suspicious.
334
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,300
Everybody split up.
335
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,500
We'll hook up outside.
336
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:58,800
No, no, no!
337
00:12:58,900 --> 00:12:59,900
You're clumping up again.
338
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,500
Spread out.
339
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,900
No, you're clumping up again.
340
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,100
Cliffie, you got
the time, pal?
341
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,100
Right, time check.
342
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,500
2200 Zulu.
343
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,400
Agent Hoosier is overdue.
344
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,200
Abort Operation Red Dawn.
345
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,700
Cliff...
346
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:34,500
What in God's name
are you talking about?
347
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,000
Spy lingo, Norm.
348
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,300
Woody's not back
from Gary's yet.
349
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,600
It's time to mobilize
our forces. Let's go.
350
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,900
I'm just the man for it.
351
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,400
Actually, I considered a career
as a spy when I was young,
352
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,100
but in the end, I decided
not to go into intelligence.
353
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,600
That seems only fair.
354
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,200
None of it went into you.
355
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,700
Hey, guys, guys, guys.
What's the big rush here?
356
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:55,700
Give him a chance.
357
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,300
He's only about
five minutes late.
358
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,600
Actually, I think we might be
underestimating Woody.
359
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:00,900
You know, something tells me
360
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:02,700
he might actually
pull this thing off.
361
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,200
Hey! Hey!
362
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,900
Wait, there's a note.
363
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:09,900
What's it say?
364
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,900
( moaning )
365
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,900
"Compliments of Gary's.
We deliver."
366
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,900
( muffled speaking )
367
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:15,900
What?
368
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,800
What are you
trying to say?
369
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,000
He's trying to say
something.
370
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,900
What are you...?
Don't rip off the tape!
371
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,700
( screams ):
Ahh!
372
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,900
That's it, Cornmeal.
You blew it.
373
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:36,100
I'm telling you,
I was doing fine.
374
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:39,100
I borrowed this great costume
from my theater group.
375
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:41,000
I really looked
like a nun.
376
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,600
I went in there...
377
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
378
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,400
You dressed up as a nun
and went into a bar?
379
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,500
Well,
it was either that
380
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,300
or one of
the von Trapp children.
381
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,700
This is the stupidest thing
I have ever heard of.
382
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,800
Hey, I don't see
anybody else volunteering
383
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,700
to go over there
and get roughed up
384
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,600
and hung by their heels.
385
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,000
I did it 'cause
I was trying to help.
386
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,600
Okay, you were trying to help.
387
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,600
Why'd you have to be
so stupid about it?
388
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,500
And that's another thing.
389
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,400
I'm sick and tired
of hearing that word.
390
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,800
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
391
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,200
If I hear that word
one more time,
392
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,200
I'm walking out of here
and never coming back.
393
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,500
Oh, come on, man.
That's stupid.
394
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,500
That's it, I quit.
395
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,700
Cool down.
396
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:18,600
No, no, I'm serious.
397
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,000
I've had it with this place.
398
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,700
I'm not appreciated here
anymore.
399
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,000
Oh, Woody, come on, man.
That's not true.
400
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,700
Leave me alone!
401
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,900
( chuckling )
402
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,500
Well, look who's back.
403
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,300
Sister Mary Woody.
404
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,800
( laughing )
405
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,300
I'm looking for a job.
406
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,900
Oh, right.
407
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,400
I heard you quit Cheers.
408
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,800
I'm never going back
into Cheers again.
409
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,800
Well, except to get
my last check and, uh,
410
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,000
the only key to my apartment.
411
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,900
So where'd you stay last night?
412
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,800
Well, I just walked around.
413
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,600
Down to the Commons,
414
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,100
over to the river,
415
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,200
across the river
to Cambridge,
416
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,700
back over the river,
417
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,600
took a right at the
Prudential building,
418
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,700
stopped at a newsstand,
419
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,700
thought about buying a paper,
didn't...
420
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,600
Okay, okay, okay.
421
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,100
I get it.
422
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,900
So you're coming to me
for a job?
423
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,300
I don't owe Cheers diddly.
424
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,100
Well, you're
a darned good barkeep.
425
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,700
And I could use
an extra hand.
426
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,300
There's always
an upsurge of business
427
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,700
every year after I win
the Bloody Mary contest.
428
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:32,700
Why not?
429
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,600
Grab an apron
in the back.
430
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:35,700
Oh, gee,
431
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,400
you won't regret this.
432
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:38,500
Wait till
433
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,200
I tell my mom I'm working
for that weasel Gary.
434
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,900
Are you crazy?
He's the enemy.
435
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,500
No, I think he's okay.
436
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,000
I was in Cheers
when he quit.
437
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,200
It was real ugly.
438
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,900
I don't know. Uh, you
think we can trust him?
439
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:53,900
Gary?
Well...
440
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,200
Yeah?
441
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,200
I found a nickel in
the pocket of this apron.
442
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,700
You know who it belongs to
or should I put up a flyer?
443
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,000
I think we can trust him.
444
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,100
Afternoon, everybody.
445
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,200
Hey, hey, Gary.
446
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,000
Well, this is it!
447
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,400
The day of the big contest.
448
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,700
Hey, Woody, come here.
449
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,100
Yes, sir.
450
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,000
Woody, I'm gonna
be honest with you.
451
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,700
I had my doubts about you
having worked at Cheers and all,
452
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,800
but after the way you've worked
out here this last week...
453
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,700
you're really one of us now.
454
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,200
Thank you.
455
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,700
By the way, here.
456
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,900
What is it?
457
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,300
It came for you a few days ago.
458
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,600
I forgot to give it to you.
459
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,800
"This is to inform you
that the contest
460
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,700
has been moved up
two hours to 12:00 noon."
461
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,800
You forgot to give this to me?
462
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,100
Is it important?
463
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:50,700
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
464
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,500
Damn it, boy.
465
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,300
You and Malone set me up.
466
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,300
You knew about this
time change two days ago.
467
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,200
Well, don't just stand there
like a bump on a log.
468
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,700
Say something.
469
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,800
Got you, Gar.
( clicks tongue )
470
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,900
That means the contest
started five minutes ago.
471
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,700
Gee, boss,
472
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,600
I don't think
you're gonna make it.
473
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,800
I think you're gonna lose.
474
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,400
I think you're gonna fall
flat on your face.
475
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,500
I think...
476
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,100
I'm gonna be hanging
upside down again.
477
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,400
Get him!
Come on. Get him!
478
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,800
Well, I wish I could
give all of you an award,
479
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,300
but there can only
be one winner...
480
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,600
Surprise, Malone.
481
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,200
I made it.
Hey.
482
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,200
No, he's disqualified.
He's late.
483
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,300
( booing )
484
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,600
You were late, man.
485
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,600
I didn't get the message
about the time change.
486
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,000
They tried to keep me away,
but it didn't work.
487
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,100
Yeah, right!
It didn't work.
488
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,900
That's a lie and you
should be disqualified
489
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,100
for making a
slanderous remark
490
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,400
and for wearing that
shirt with those pants.
491
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:57,800
( laughing )
492
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,000
There's still time
for another entry.
493
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,500
All right!
494
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,800
( cackles )
495
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:04,000
Here.
496
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:07,300
Try a real Bloody Mary.
497
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,900
Hands down, the winner.
498
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,100
( cheering )
All right!
499
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,400
Olde Towne Tavern!
500
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,900
Olde Towne Tavern!
501
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,200
Olde Towne Tavern!
502
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,700
Olde Towne Tavern!
503
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,700
Hey!
504
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,900
Hey, hey, Sam...
505
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000
here's a little bit
of advice for you:
506
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000
give up while you got
a shred of dignity left.
507
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,400
Oops, too late.
508
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,600
( giggles )
509
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,300
All clear?
510
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,600
All clear.
511
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:44,200
( cheering )
512
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,800
Oh, my man Woody!
513
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:48,800
That's good, man.
514
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,700
Take that makeup off.
515
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,000
( cheering )
516
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:57,500
Well, now just a minute.
517
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,500
That's Woody?
My God.
518
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,900
This is amazing makeup.
519
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,400
This is just incredible.
520
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,900
This was part of
some elaborate ruse, huh?
521
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,000
Yeah, we set
the whole thing up.
522
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,300
Yeah, that way we can
get Gary out of here
523
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,900
before the real contest starts.
524
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,900
And when you made such a fool of
yourself pretending to be a nun?
525
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,200
That was part
of the plan.
526
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,300
When you went
to work for Gary?
Part of the plan.
527
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,300
When you told Gary the time
of the contest had changed?
528
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,600
All part of the plan.
529
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,200
Hey, guys...
530
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,700
I'm ready for the real contest.
531
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,700
Not part of the plan.
532
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,600
And the winner
of Boston's annual
533
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,200
Bloody Mary contest is...
534
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,300
Gary's Olde Towne Tavern!
535
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,600
Yeah!
536
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,400
( groans )
537
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,100
Where have I heard that before?
538
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,300
You know, Sam,
539
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,900
that was a stroke of genius
having Li'l Abner there
540
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,800
playing the judge.
541
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,400
And I got to admit I fell for it
542
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,900
until I got
within about 20 feet.
543
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,700
Very funny.
544
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,700
You know, we're gonna
get you next year, Gary,
545
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,100
and it's not going
to be very pretty.
546
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,100
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
547
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,000
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
548
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,400
Don't try to outfox me
because you can't.
549
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,300
Every time you think
you got me fooled,
550
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,900
I'm one step ahead of you.
551
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,900
But I got to admit,
this time you came...
552
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,100
that close.
553
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,300
( laughs )
554
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,700
Very funny.
Very funny.
555
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,300
I can't believe he did it again.
556
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,400
Uh, 45... 50.
557
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,800
Carla, what are you doing?
558
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,500
I mean, you usually pay off
a judge after you win a contest.
559
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,200
If the contest that
had just happened
560
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,300
were the real contest--
which it wasn't--
561
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,500
and if this guy
were the real judge,
562
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,500
which he's not.
563
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,700
You follow any of that?
564
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:39,600
This is my next-
door neighbor.
565
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,800
The real judge is some
old lady from Cambridge.
566
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,300
Thanks for helping
out, Larry.
567
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,300
Any time, Carla.
568
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,400
Wait a minute.
569
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,200
If this wasn't the real contest,
when is the real contest?
570
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:53,000
In about a half an hour.
571
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,700
Are you telling me
we still have a chance
572
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:55,900
to win this thing?
We sure do!
573
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,600
Carla! Carla!
574
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,500
Carla! Carla! Carla! Carla!
575
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:05,200
Carla! Carla!
576
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,400
Carla...
577
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,800
How long have you
had this planned?
578
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,400
Since about...
579
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,700
a minute after we lost
last year's contest.
580
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,500
This is unbelievable.
What?!
581
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,400
That I could come up
with a great plan?
582
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,600
No, that you'd pay
this guy money
583
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:17,700
out of your own pocket.
584
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,300
Get real.
585
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,200
I lifted Gary's wallet
when he was leaving the bar.
586
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,900
Thank God you are on our side.
587
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,900
And from here on in,
whether we win or lose,
588
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,700
what's really important
to remember--
589
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,500
and I'm saying this
590
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,100
in the spirit of true sportsmen
everywhere--
591
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:39,800
is Gary won't win!
592
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,100
Yeah!
Gary won't win!
593
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:43,700
Gary won't win!
594
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:44,900
Gary won't win!
595
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:46,100
Hey, guys...
596
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,000
I am on to you.
597
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,600
Oh, man, I give up.
598
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,500
Now hand over my wallet.
599
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,700
Your what?
600
00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:00,800
Come on.
Somebody took my wallet.
601
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:02,600
Yeah, someone
handed it in.
602
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:03,700
You must've dropped it
603
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:04,900
when you were
leaving the bar.
604
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,300
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
605
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:09,400
So long, chumps.
606
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,000
( chuckles )
607
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,000
( whispers ):
Gary won't win.
608
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,800
( whispering ):
Gary won't win.
609
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,600
Gary won't win.
55933
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