All language subtitles for Cheers.S06E17.To.All.The.Girls.Ive.Loved.Before.DVDRip.XviD-SAiNTS

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

( knock at door )

Come in.

( babies crying )

Mind if I use your office?

Again?

Hey, you think I like
having to do this?

You know how hard it is
to breast-feed twins?

I haven't had my bra
off and on this much

since junior high.

Hey.

Maybe you could help.

What do you mean "help"?

Well, you got

a decent set of ducts.

Maybe I could use you
as a decoy.

You see?

While I'm pumping one kid,

the other one's attached to you.

Are you serious?

Sure! It'll shut 'em up.

( crying )
So they won't get milk.

Life is hard.

( piano plays )

� Making your way
in the world today �

� Takes everything you've got

� Taking a break
from all your worries �

� Sure would help a lot

� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �

� Sometimes you want to go

� Where everybody
knows your name �

� And they're always glad
you came �

� You want to be
where you can see �

� Our troubles
are all the same �

� You want to be where everybody
knows your name �

� You want to go
where people know �

� People are all the same

� You want to go where
everybody knows your name. �

Good evening, everyone!

Hello.

You know, it's
uncanny, my darling,

but there's not a room
you step foot into

where you're not the most
beautiful woman there.

That's deplorable sentence
structure, Frasier.

What you mean
to say is that

I am the most beautiful
woman in any room I enter.

Yes. Well, thank you

for correcting me
in front of 30 people.

There you go,

your usual
cured spritzer.
Thanks, Sam.

Hey, the big day is around
the corner, isn't it?

Yeah, next Saturday.

Lilith and I have
been in the process

of writing, editing,
rewriting,

and researching
our wedding vows.

Hi, boss.

Hiya.

Hello, Rebecca.

I have a small
favor to ask

regarding our
impending wedding.

Since all my close friends
will be out of town,

and we have had a
previous conversation,

and our eyes have met on
a number of occasions,

I was wondering if
you'd consent to
be my maid of honor.

Me?

Isn't that usually
your best friend?

You are my
best friend.

Oh, I'm very flattered.

Um... I guess so.

Sure, Lila.

Lilith.

Right. Right.

I knew that.

Let's discuss
wedding gowns.

Do you think black...

Sam, it, uh,
goes without saying

of course, that you'll be
my best man.

Aw, I-I don't want to do that.

It makes me feel
so uncomfortable.

I mean, a best man has
to give a toast, doesn't he?

No, look, I-I took the liberty

of writing down a few things.

Then I'd be honored.

Oh, that's great.

( clears throat ):
What are you doing

for a bachelor party?

Oh, actually,
I haven't any plans.

Well, would you like
to have one tonight?

Well, what do you
think, darling?

Uh, would I like
a bachelor party?

Well... while I feel
that particular ritual

is as pass� as taking
the topknot of one's dead enemy,

I will not deprive you
of the experience.

Immature though it might be.

She's a gamer!

Oh!

We're on!

Fellas, stag party tonight.

Hey! All right.

You know, uh,
being maid of honor

means you have
to throw Brunehilda

a bridal shower.

Oh, right.

I guess I should
do something.

What kind of shower
do you think?

Kitchen? Linen?

Look at who she's
hitching up with.

Better make it marital aids.

I'll handle this.

Uh, Lilith?

What do you say we have
a little get-together

at my place tonight?

That would be lovely.

Now, you're gonna have
to tell me who to invite,

because I don't know...

anything about you.

I only wish there were some way

I could repay you, Rebecca.

Oh, don't mention it.

If you ever need
to admit a family member

to a mental institution,

I could certainly
speed up the paperwork.

That's very dear of you.

Well,
gents...
Yep.

My last night
of freedom.
Yep.

One last chance to...

loosen the old
noose, so to speak.

Really have some fun
while I still can.

( guys laugh )

Do I hear the pitter-patter
of cold feet?

No! No! Not at all.

I mean, as long as I'm in love
with this woman

and she has my dear old mother
tied up in the cellar,

I'm gonna go through with it.

( laughter )

Darling...

could I speak with you a moment?

Excuse me.

The ball and chain.

Frasier, do you realize that is

the fourth derogatory remark
about marriage

you've made this evening?

Oh, come on, my angel.

I mean, they're...
they're jokes.

I mean, everybody knows
my mother is dead.

That's what
makes it funny.

No one loves a good joke
more than I.

But I find that--
as our wedding day approaches--

the frequency of these quips
has increased.

Are you having second thoughts?

Well, only that I
love you more now

than I did
five minutes ago.

Leaving aside your
schoolboy sophistries,

let me make you an offer.

If, after your madcap night
of debauchery and vomiting,

you still feel you want to go
through with the wedding plans,

call me and tell me so.

But... Lilith,

that's entirely unnecessary.

I beg to differ.

Up until this point,

you've only seen my warm
and vulnerable side.

Now I must become
cold and analytical.

As if you could, my treasure.

Frasier, I need
your reassurance.

I'll be awaiting your call.

Boy, this bachelor party
should be keen.

"Keen"?

( laughing )

Hey, I don't know
about Indiana,

but around here
when guys get together

to send another guy
off to his doom,

things can get a little raunchy,
you hear me?

( laughing )

You fellas ever
dress up farm animals

in women's clothing?

No.

Well, then I'm
one up on you.

Gentlemen!

( all shout greetings )

You know, I,

I was listening
to a rock and roll station

on my way over here,

and... you know, to put me
in the mood.

There was a passage in one
of those tribal songs

that I feel, uh...

well, is the keynote
for this evening.

"Everybody have fun tonight."

"Everybody Wang Chung tonight."

( all shouting )

Yeah, I think we got
a madman on our hands here.

I had a nap.

( all laugh )

You know, gentlemen I...

I can't tell you how touched
I am that you all--

to a man--
came back for my party.

We never left.

Boy, this is gonna
be some night.

Oh, a real guy night.
Yeah!

Check your X chromosome
at the door.

( all laugh )

I wonder what
the women are doing?

Oh, they're
probably, uh,

hanging around, drinking
some European coffee

you know, mocha Finland
or the like, eh.

Passing around a bunch
of brownies,

saying, "No, I
really shouldn't,"

and then stuffing their faces.

To the man of the hour, huh?

( chorus of acclaim )

Mr. Frasier Crane,

and to all the girls
we've loved before.

ALL:
Hear! Hear!

I've, uh...

loved quite a few.
How 'bout a fill-up, huh?

NORM:
Cliffie.

A big difference between
loving women and annoying them

in the checkout line, okay?

Ah, women.

They're tough
to figure out.

Yeah, but they're
sure fun to play with

while you're trying.

If you guys could
have one woman,

any woman
in the world,

who would it be?

Oh, that's easy.
Kathleen Turner.

Wah-wah-wah-wah!

Give me Kim Basinger
in 9 1/2 Weeks.

Ten weeks. Ten weeks.

Jill Eikenberry.

( expressing puzzlement )

You know, L.A. Law?

She's married to that short,
dumpy guy on the show.

Something about her, I like.

Lilith Sternin.

( all groaning and teasing )

Loni Anderson.

Boy, she's got a set of oompahs

that John Phillip Sousa
would kill for.

I swear to God.

My very first time
was in the sixth grade.

School crossing guard.

No! Hey, I swear to you.

Wow, that's more exciting
than my first time.

Wedding night, Norm?

Uh, the following week.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, good news, guys.

Wife says I don't have to go
home till midnight.

Ooh, yeah.
The bad news is,

she'll still be awake
when you get there.

Eh, I don't know.
Women, women.

You know, uh, once they get
their claws in you,

they just don't let go,
you know what I mean?

Oh, I don't
know, Cliff.

I wouldn't say that
about all women.

I'm sure Loni Anderson
doesn't do that.

( laughing )

And I know my Lilith.

Why, just today, she presented
me with an opportunity

to back out of the marriage
if I so desire.

Now, is that
blind faith or what?
Uh-oh.

( guys "oohing" )

Uh-oh, what?

Seems to me that
she might have changed her mind

and is just trying
to let you down easy.

That's the most preposterous
thing I've ever heard.

Oh, I don't know, now.

If you had a 200-pound marlin,

and you're about haul him
on the boat,

would you stop and ask him if he
wanted to go back in the water?

( guys murmuring )

Be careful, Dr. Crane.

This could be
a trick question.

I think the laws are
different in each state.

Well, I-I certainly
don't believe

that's true
in Lilith's case.

I don't know, Frase, Sammy
could have a point there.

( guys affirming )

Do you really think Lilith
wants me to back out?

SAM:
Could be. Could be.

I'd think
about it, Doc.

Well, then let's just see
how the night progresses.

Maybe Lilith Sternin will
get her wish, after all.

Where's that stripper?

( guys laughing raucously )

Let's get Bubbles or Peaches,

or whatever her name is
out here and have at her!

( cheering and hooting )

No, you, uh,
you stay right there. Yeah.

( sexy stripper music playing )

( whooping and whistling )

We are amused.

Whoo!

GUYS:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

( yelling and whooping )

Karen!

Dr. Crane!

You know each other?

She's one
of my patients.

Karen, I hope
you're doing this
for the money,

because this certainly
won't square things

between you
and your father.

I'm sorry
I spoiled your party.

Oh, nonsense, Karen, you
didn't spoil anything.

And under the
circumstances,

( chuckling ):
we understand,
don't we, guys?

There, you see?

Well, bye-bye, now.

Bye-bye.

Maybe I shouldn't get married.

Oh, come on,
what are you talking about?

Oh, it's time I realized

that there are
two Frasier Cranes.

Frasier the prospective groom
who sent Karen on her way,

and Frasier the pig who wanted
to see her shake her nonnies.

You know, I've never revealed
this to anybody,

but when Diane left me

at the altar, I...
well, there was

a tiny voice that kept saying,

"You're off the hook,
you're off the hook."

NORM:
Yeah, the
only voice

I heard was Vera's

just yapping and yapping.

MAN:
You ever notice

it's always the women
who want to get married?

Yapping and yapping.

Well, you know, when I think
of all the unhappy people

whom I've counseled
over the years, whose lives

have been scarred and destroyed
by marriages badly cast,

I could write a book.

I have written a book.

Come on, now, Fras.

You're just having
last-minute jitters.

Geez, I-I don't know.

Maybe Lilith
isn't the woman for me.

What do you think of her, guys?

Tell me, listen,
I-I-I demand...

complete honesty.

Well, uh, Doc,
I'll be honest with you.

( clearing throat ):
Uh, ixnay, ixnay.

Oh, no, Normie, no,

I just wish
that I was there for you.

No, uh...

I was, uh,

waiting for you
to wise up, there, Doc.

You know, I mean,
Lilith Sternin--

I mean, even the name

makes the old butt cheeks,
uh, tighten up,

you know what I mean?

I mean, she is Olive Oyl
without the good fashion sense.

( chuckling )
And that personality, geez...

Hey, whoa, whoa, come on,
hey, Cliff, that's enough.

Yeah, you think so?
Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Sam, you know, you've been
uncharacteristically mute.

I mean, surely you have
some opinion on this.

No, no, do it, man.

I think you should

walk off together
into the sunset, you know?

Live happily ever after.

Translation: Frasier Crane,

you're a complete fool
if you get married.

I did not say that.

Now, listen, Sam, I know
exactly what you're thinking.

I mean, every fiber of
your body speaks it.

You live it every day.

Give me one good reason
why the single life

is better than
being married.

Okay, uh...
well, let's see.

When I get home, I don't
have to explain to anybody

uh, where I've been
or what I've been doing.

If I was out
having a good time,

I don't have to call home
to see if I can stay later.

Oh, that reminds me.

SAM:
There, right there.

There you go.

See, that's
what you're losing, man--

your freedom.

You know, I can eat doughnuts
for dinner if I want to.

Nobody nags me
to put down the toilet seat.

I am the king
of my own remote control.

I can date
anybody I want to,

and if somebody better
turns up--

and somebody always does,
bless their hearts--

then I can date them
the very next night.

You know,
I don't have to worry

about forgetting
an anniversary,

no mother-in-laws,
no father-in-laws,

no laws, period.

I only asked
for one reason.

My God.

I'm, I'm actually
beginning to have doubts.

No.

You know, I've
got to hear

the voice of
my beloved

just to reassure me.

Uh, Woody, Woody, give
me Rebecca's number,

and hand me the phone,
would you?

Oh, Dr. Crane,
if Miss Howe answers,

could you ask her something
for me?

What's that, Wood?

Ask her if she has Prince Albert
in a can.

( laughing )

Don't tell her it was me.

No.

FRASIER:
Hello.

Yeah, h-hello.

Is that you, Carla?

( music playing )
Yeah, yeah, who is it?

Uh, it's Frasier.

What's all that noise?

What's going on over there?

We're making a quilt.

Well, can I speak to Lilith,
please?

Well, is it important?

She's showing the male stripper
where to put his things.

What?

Oh, I-I got to get back.

I-I got a bet
this guy's packing socks.

She'll call you back sometime.

What happened?

Oh, nothing.

Seems Lilith
is indisposed at the moment.

She's helping to undress
a male stripper.

( guys oohing and aahing )

A male stripper?

Well, where do they put
the tassels?

The thought of my Lilith
having one last carnal fling

with some fellow in a Speedo
is beyond belief!

Now, Frasier, I mean,

just 'cause some guy
strips in her honor

doesn't mean they're going
to wind up in the sack together.

Oh, no, no, no,
you don't know my Lilith.

I'll tell you,
once her libido's cut loose,

I mean, there's no tying
her down, unless, of course,

that's what she's into
for the evening.

She's, right now,
she's with him.

Oh, no, hey, hey, come
on, take it easy here.

She's with that man--
that sweating, chiseled,

Frasier.
pulsing, throbbing...

Hey, hey, whoa.
sexy...

Creme de Menthe?

You couldn't find
some water?

My God, Sam.

You realize what this...
this means?

Well, I-I don't know
the clinical term for it,

but it seems to me

you were going
a little scooters there.

I was jealous, Sam.

I-I was insanely,
blindly jealous.

If ever I needed a clearer
gut-level demonstration

of my feelings,
I mean, that was it.

Yes, yes, it's perverted.

Yes, it's childish,
but yes, it's love.

Maybe you ought
to go see her right now.

I will, Sam.

There's just one
matter that has to
be rectified first.

Cliff, in light
of my recent decision,

I now take offense at your
remarks about Lilith.

In short, I'm going
to kick your sorry butt.

Ah, now, come on, Doc,
just cool down, will you?

It was just a joke.

Oh, you mean like that costume
you wear every day?

GUYS:
Whoa!

All right, put up your dukes,
Dr. Cream Puff.

Okay, now we
got a party, eh?

( men laugh and agree )

All right, all right,
uh, before we start,

let's just, uh,

set a few ground rules,
all right?

Uh, no punching in the face

because that can cause
severe brain damage.

Oh, oh, all right, uh,
just one other thing.

Uh, no hitting
below the belt.

I'm about to be married.

Uh, all right, all right,
fair enough, fair enough.

All right,
well, no hitting

in the, uh,
right shoulder, though.

That's my bag shoulder,
all right?

What about the, um,
upper thigh area?

Uh...

Oh, no, I think we covered that
on page five over here.

Yeah.

Well, then, where
does that leave us?

I don't know;
it's leaving me

with writer's cramp,
I'll tell you.

Well, let that be
a lesson to you.

As for me,

I'm going to go back
to my beloved,

throw my arms around
her milky-white shoulders,

and let me tell you
something, fellas.

I'm going to tell her
I'm devoted to her,

and that I'm dedicating
the rest of my life to her.

Hello, everyone.

Frasier, is that you?

Good. I hope this doesn't spoil
the bachelor party,

but the engagement is off.

It's over, history,

kaput. Good night.

What?!

She's kind of juiced.

I can't be engaged
to you, Frasier,

because I'm marrying
Randy here.

If anyone wants to get us
a wedding gift,

his butt is this size.

Why don't you sit down,
Dr. Sternin?

Oh, "Dr. Sternin"
is a little formal, isn't it?

You can call me Sheena,
Ruler of the Jungle of Love.

Can somebody sober her up?

Hey, I think
you lost a button.

( Woody laughing )

We'll handle it from here.
Thanks, Randy.

Happy to do it. There's still
the matter of cab fare.

Oh. Here, there you go.

Great. Thanks.

See you.

Oh, Randy, don't leave me.

I'll never be able
to hear "Shock the Monkey" again

without crying.

Lilith,

what were you thinking of?!

I'm sorry, Frasier,
it's just that I felt the need

to get back at you.

I waited all evening
for you to call

and say that the wedding
was still on,

but you didn't, you cur.

I did call!

Didn't Carla tell you?

She was too busy licking
Bosco off Randy's chest.

I became increasingly more
distraught and foolish

as the night grew long.

Of course, the 11 tequila
shooters didn't help.

And now, the epilogue
is that my behavior

has probably cost me
the one man I truly love.

Oh, you can probably
still catch him.

Woody, I don't think

you're following along
closely enough.

Listen, you're not
the only one

who's behaved
irrationally tonight.

Lilith... I want
to marry you anyway.

You do?

Absolutely.

For the rest of my life,

I will always
cherish those words:

"Lilith, I want to
marry you anyway."

Come, my sweet.

Let's get on
with our life together.

Uh, thank you all.

( halfheartedly ):
Yeah, way to go, Doc.

Good night, Doc.
See you, Doc.

Oh, Lilith, just, uh...

promise me two things.

Never leave me for
another, and uh...

don't throw up
on me in the cab.

SAM:
Well, guys, what do you think?

What'll we do now, huh?

I got to get home.

MAN:
Yeah, I got
to tell my wife, too.

Yeah, I'm out of here, too.

Me, too.
Good night, Sam.

Good night, Sam.
Yeah.

Hey, that reminds me.

I promised Vera
I'd pick up some Chinese food.

Oh, that's nice of you, Norm.

Well, I spilled it on the floor
this morning.

Yeah, well,

I'll be saying
good night there, Sammy.

I, uh, I am married
to the U.S. Postal Service.

What the hell, Sammy,

we all can't lead
your carefree life.

Well, good night.
Yeah.

( door shuts )

Oh, boy.

Party's over?
Yeah.

They all had women
they had to run home to. Saps.

I just came back to lock up.

Oh, come on,
hey, I always do that.

Oh, that's right.

You're a real night owl,
aren't you?

Yeah. One of the great joys
of being single.

You don't have to tell me.

Those women at the shower--

they have no idea
how to have fun.

Five minutes after Randy left,
we got into this heated debate

about which was better,
mayonnaise or Miracle Whip.

Turned into a fistfight.

Ha!

Ah, that's pathetic.

Boy, you know, I'll never
trade in the single life.

Me, neither.

Good night, Sam.
Yeah, good night.

Ah.

Freedom.

( music playing on TV )

You want to go get
a cup of coffee?

Oh, you bet I do.