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1
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:07,100
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:08,100
( chuckling )
3
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,100
Well, that cute little dimple?
4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,300
Well, I think
I still got it.
5
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,000
It's kind of hard for
me to see back there.
6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,900
( laughing )
7
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:18,400
Um, Renee, I'm going to have
to get back to you.
8
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,000
Yeah, bye-bye.
9
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,800
Uh, Linda, sweetheart,
10
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,700
uh, can we continue
this over lunch?
11
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,000
Well, um, your place.
12
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
Don't cook.
13
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,600
( laughing )
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,100
Let me guess-- personal call?
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,900
Very.
16
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,700
Malone, I find winking
really smarmy.
17
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,300
Yeah, but beneath this smarm
is a lot of charm,
18
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,300
and I think you know that.
19
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,800
I know this...
20
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,600
I want you out
of my office now.
21
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,600
All right, all right.
I'm sorry.
22
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,000
I know I'm not supposed
to get personal calls here,
23
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,900
but what the hey, you know;
super-strength Sammy
24
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,700
has been off the shelves now
for over a year--
25
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,400
there's a lot of pent-up demand
out there.
26
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,200
What can I say?
27
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:01,900
Say, "I'd better
get back to work.
28
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,100
I don't want to get fired."
29
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,900
You're cute
when you're humorless.
30
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:06,800
Did you know that?
31
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,300
( telephone rings )
32
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,100
Cheers.
33
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,400
No, Simone, I'm sorry.
34
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,400
Sam's working.
35
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,700
( whispering ):
Simone? Wait, wait, wait.
36
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,400
Try him later at home.
37
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,400
Well, then, perhaps
38
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,300
on your next visit
to the States.
39
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,400
Simone?
40
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,100
Man, you just cost me
a roll in the hay.
41
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:26,700
I owe you one.
42
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,800
You're on.
43
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,100
I didn't mean that.
44
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,800
Wait a minute. I think
we need to get something...
45
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,800
( piano plays )
46
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:37,300
� Making your way
in the world today �
47
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,400
� Takes everything
you've got �
48
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,100
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
49
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,600
� Sure would help a lot
50
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:51,700
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
51
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,400
� Sometimes you want to go
52
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:59,900
� Where everybody
knows your name �
53
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:04,500
� And they're always glad
you came �
54
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,900
� You want to be
where you can see �
55
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,400
� Our troubles
are all the same �
56
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:14,800
� You want to be where everybody
knows your name �
57
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,300
� You want to go
where people know �
58
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,400
� People are all the same
59
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:24,100
� You want to go where
everybody knows your name. �
60
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,100
Geez... listen to this.
61
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,800
"Scientists discover
wild parrot
62
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,600
who claims to be Elvis."
63
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:54,100
So?
64
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,400
"So?"
65
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,000
I mean, this one
wins the "Too stupid
66
00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,400
for even you,
Cliff" award.
67
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,700
Now, really,
must you two wallow
68
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,800
in this sensationalistic tripe?
69
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,600
It pains me no end
to see America's wits dulled
70
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:11,300
and their morals abrogated
by this opiate of the asses.
71
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,700
( Norm scoffs )
72
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,900
Well, let's check this out,
Cliffie.
73
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,000
"I was Sigmund Freud's
love child."
74
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000
No!
75
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,900
I've heard rumors
that he betrayed Martha
76
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:22,900
with his sister-in-law,
77
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,300
but I never dreamed
there were progeny.
78
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:29,000
You rapscallions.
79
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,300
( Woody whistling )
80
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:34,800
What are you
whistling about, huh?
81
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,700
You haven't got a
dime to your name.
82
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,800
You're working for a woman
who's a meat grinder,
83
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,700
and you look like a
baboon in that uniform.
84
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:47,800
Boy, life really stinks.
85
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,200
( whistling happy tune )
86
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,700
SAM:
You okay?
87
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,800
I feel like puke.
88
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:01,000
Well, you're wearing
the right uniform.
89
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,300
Want to talk about it?
90
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,500
No, what's there to say
91
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,600
about a no-good, ice-eating
little geek like Eddie LeBec.
92
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,600
He's known since a week ago
93
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,200
that I got
his bun in my oven,
94
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,800
and what the hell
has he done about it?
95
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,300
Jack Diddley.
96
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,700
Don't look now,
97
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,800
but your ice-eating geek
just walked in.
98
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,500
Don't you just love him?
99
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,100
Hi, Carla.
100
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:25,900
Hi, Eddie.
101
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,300
You, uh, busy?
102
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,400
CARLA:
Just a minute.
103
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,400
Uh, look,
104
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,100
would you just write down
what you want,
105
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,200
and hand it to Howdy Doody
over there?
106
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,800
I'm all yours.
Okay.
107
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,400
So, what's new?
108
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,000
Well, I, uh, I've had
a lot on my mind lately.
109
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,000
Yeah?
110
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,300
You know, training camp's
really been rough
111
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,900
and a lot of
competition at goalie,
112
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,600
and really having to work
my tail off to keep up, eh?
113
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:52,600
Sounds rough.
Yeah.
114
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,500
Say, you know, uh,
since I'm already here,
115
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,400
there's something
I've been wanting to ask you.
116
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,400
Yeah?
117
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:58,700
It's a question.
118
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,500
I like questions.
119
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,700
Okay, but,
120
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,000
see, this is
the kind of question
121
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,300
a guy really
doesn't want to ask
122
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,000
if he thinks he might
get "no" for answer.
123
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,100
Well, it's kind of hard for
a girl to give an answer
124
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,300
until she knows
what the question is.
125
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:13,700
Okay, but, you see,
126
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:14,900
it would be
a lot easier for a guy
127
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000
if he had
some sort of sign...
128
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,700
Ask me, you little frog!
129
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:18,700
Okay.
130
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,000
Carla, would you...?
131
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,700
Yes! Yes!
132
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,200
Oh, oh, oh.
Eddie, yes.
133
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,800
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
134
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,400
Carla, do you mind if we,
135
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,600
you know,
we keep this quiet?
136
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,800
You know me, I don't
like a lot of hoopla.
137
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,300
Oh, yeah, sorry.
138
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,300
Would it be okay
if I just told Sam?
139
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,500
I guess.
140
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,600
Hey, Sammy!
141
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,000
Me and Eddie
are getting married!
142
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,300
( applause )
143
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,100
Oh, my God.
Hey, hey, hey.
144
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,100
( bell ringing,people cheering )
145
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,400
Get over here, Eddie!
146
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,100
( whistles )
147
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,800
What's going on?
148
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,100
Oh, great news,
Miss Howe.
149
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,800
Carla's marrying
Eddie LeBec.
150
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,700
Oh, that cute little guy
with the dents in his nose.
151
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,600
Hey, listen up, everybody.
152
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,000
Wait, wait, wait,
here we go.
153
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000
Here we go, here we go.
154
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,600
I want
to be making a toast
155
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,000
to my beautiful
bride-to-be.
156
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,600
Listen, you know,
I don't make my living
157
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,400
using words, so this
is gonna be kind of hard
158
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,800
for me, okay,
but here it goes.
159
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,200
Uh, Carla...
160
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,800
Well, you know.
161
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,900
ALL:
Well, you know.
162
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,400
Yeah.
163
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,800
I love you, sweetie.
164
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,700
Hey, congratulations, man.
This is terrific.
165
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:27,700
Thanks.
166
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,000
Are you gonna take her
on a honeymoon?
167
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,800
Hey, got any suggestions?
Yeah.
168
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,000
New Orleans.
169
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,600
I found a great
little honeymoon spot
170
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,700
just kind of tucked away
off Bourbon Street.
171
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:38,800
Great food, very romantic,
steamy atmosphere, you know.
172
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,000
Yeah, I had the
time of my life,
173
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,200
and then Vera tracked me down.
174
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,900
Well, if I get any time off
from training camp,
175
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,400
I thought maybe Carla
might like to see Waikiki.
176
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,600
Waikiki...
Honolulu, Hawaii?
177
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,000
Sure, we'll hit them all.
178
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,700
Yeah, right!
179
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,800
I only hope
I can get some time off
180
00:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,800
from the Howitzer.
181
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,700
Sorry. Miss Howitzer.
182
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:05,900
Time off?
183
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,000
Well, you'll be having
all the time in the world.
184
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,400
You think I'd be
having a wife of mine
185
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,700
work in a crummy
bar like this?
186
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:14,100
No offense, Miss Howitzer.
187
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,200
It's Miss Howe.
188
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,300
Oh, take it easy.
189
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,700
They're just complimenting
your big guns.
190
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,100
Wait a minute.
191
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,600
Y-You're telling me
192
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,600
that I don't have
to work anymore?
193
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:30,000
You mean, I can just
sit around the house all day,
194
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,800
eating peanut butter
out of a jar,
195
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:35,000
and watching
my toenails grow?
196
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,900
She's, uh, quite a catch, Ed.
197
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,700
Boy, you know,
I'm gonna miss you around here.
198
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:47,300
Oh, Sammy, I'll drop by
once in a while
199
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,800
to watch all you 9-to-5'ers
200
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,900
spill drinks
on your butler suits.
201
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,500
So, when's
the big day, Carla?
202
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,600
Well, I'd like to do it
as soon as possible
203
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,600
before my little hunk
of back bacon here
204
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,700
changes his mind.
205
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,400
Ah, no way, I'm not
one of those flakes
206
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,500
you used to go out with.
207
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,100
Oh, but listen, we
have to get married
208
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,200
on a day with
a two in it
209
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,600
'cause two's
my lucky number.
210
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,700
Rats. Mine's three.
211
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,900
Oh, no sweat.
212
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,500
Lucky two, lucky three...
213
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,900
We can get married on
the 23rd or the 32nd.
214
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,300
That's right, honey.
215
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,300
Oh, right, right.
216
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,400
No, um...
217
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,900
As long as it's not
on a Wednesday.
218
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,300
Ooh, yeah, bad juju.
219
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,900
Yeah.
220
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,700
This is going to be
an interesting wedding--
221
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,100
the two most superstitious
people in the world.
222
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:30,700
Hey, hey, don't say that,
it's bad luck.
223
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,500
Listen, whatever you do,
don't make any plans afterwards
224
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,600
'cause we're going to throw you
the biggest wedding reception
225
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,400
in history right here...
226
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,800
Oh, great!
( applause )
227
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,700
( clears throat )
228
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,800
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
229
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:43,700
Force of habit.
230
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,000
Not my place to do that.
I'm sorry.
231
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,100
Ms. Howe's going to throw you
the biggest wedding reception...
232
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,600
( cheering )
233
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,800
I need to talk to you
right now.
234
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,500
Uh, wait...
235
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,700
before you say anything,
let me just, uh...
236
00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,900
I had an idea.
237
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,700
Why don't you
invite your boss,
238
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,400
what's-his-name,
Evan Drake.
239
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,100
You know,
he's a sports fan, so I hear.
240
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,400
Maybe he'd enjoy
meeting Eddie LeBec there.
241
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,300
You know, you could
throw him a big bash,
242
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,700
impress the pants off him.
243
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,400
What were you
going to say?
244
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,400
I was going to tell
you to smile more.
245
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:17,400
Mm-hmm.
246
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,300
I didn't say smugly.
247
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,200
Excuse me,
I have a phone call to make.
248
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,900
Hey there, Eduardo,
249
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:27,400
looks like you and Carla aren't
the only lovebirds in town.
250
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,400
Check out DeeDee
and David there.
251
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,700
Who?
252
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,200
DeeDee and David Lefsowski,
253
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:36,000
the Weekly Gabbers'odd couple of the month.
254
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,300
See, she weighs in there
at 480 pounds,
255
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:45,200
and he tips the scales
at a mere, uh, 92.
256
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,100
But I mean, just look
at the love in his eyes.
257
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,900
I think that's fear, Cliff.
258
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,400
Cute baby he's holding.
259
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,700
That's her arm, Woody.
260
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,000
Cute arm he's holding.
261
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,500
Hey. Picked a date yet?
262
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,600
Yep.
263
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,400
Eddie wants to do it
a week from Saturday,
264
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,200
anytime before 4:00 p.m.
265
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,300
which is okay
with my psychic,
266
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,400
as long as our auras remain
in the blue spectrum,
267
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,400
and there's no
solar eclipse.
268
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,300
It's really tough
planning a wedding, isn't it?
269
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,100
Ooh, tell me about it.
270
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,200
You know, I'm just
a little nervous
271
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,300
about waiting eight days.
272
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,000
Gives Eddie an
awful long time
273
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,200
to come to his senses.
274
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,900
Look at him.
275
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,600
He's absorbed in
thought over there.
276
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,300
Well, maybe not.
277
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,800
There.
278
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,100
The table looks nice.
279
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,000
Woody, don't you think
the table looks nice?
280
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,100
I think it looks nice.
281
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,200
Looks nice.
282
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,000
You think so?
283
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,300
Oh, damn,
I bet chucklebrain
284
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,900
forgot to pick up
the napkins.
285
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,700
Oh, no, Sam didn't forget.
286
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,900
Eddie brought these special
wedding ones they had made up.
287
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,300
"We don't want
to get married.
288
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,400
We have to. Ha, ha."
289
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,500
Cute.
290
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,900
You see the
little hillbilly
291
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,100
with the shotgun?
292
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,700
Yes, he's nice, isn't he?
293
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:16,900
But I think these are
just a little too funny
294
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,300
for the reception.
295
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,600
Burn them.
296
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:23,800
Did you remember to get
the cinnamon almond decaf?
297
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,200
Yeah, I did.
298
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,000
Who likes that?
299
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000
Evan does.
300
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,200
Everyone does.
301
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,400
Excuse me, Miss Howe,
302
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,500
I know it's none
of my beeswax, but...
303
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,000
it seems to me like
you're awfully nervous
304
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,000
about Mr. Drake
coming by today.
305
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,300
Do you like him
or something?
306
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,200
In a business sense, yes.
307
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,300
I admire his skills
and accomplishments.
308
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,100
You like him.
309
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,200
Boys...
310
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,800
we're all set up
with my buddy Bruce.
311
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,900
He can get us the same
silverware Carla picked out
312
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
from the Filene's catalog
for over two-thirds off.
313
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,400
Oh, yeah.
314
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,100
So what's the bite-ski?
315
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,100
20 bucks apiece.
316
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,300
I'll catch you guys later.
317
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,000
Say, Norm, there
isn't any chance
318
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,100
that this stuff
is stolen merchandise, is there?
319
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,400
No, of course not.
320
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,000
Listen, if anyone asks,
321
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,100
we never heard of Bruce,
we can't find the receipt,
322
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,900
and if you run into me
up on the street,
323
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:20,200
call me Larry.
324
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,200
My mind's at ease.
325
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,300
So, Sam, what are you
concocting there?
326
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:29,100
You know how superstitious
Carla and Eddie are.
327
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,000
I thought I'd mix them
up a batch
328
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,800
of my good-luck
wedding punch.
329
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,100
It never fails.
330
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,600
Isn't that the same
stuff you made
331
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,000
when you were
getting married
332
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000
to Miss Chambers?
333
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,800
Woody, you want to flush this
down the toilet.
334
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,500
Hi, guys.
335
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,100
Hey.
Hey.
336
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,200
Carla, what are you doing
here on your wedding day?
337
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,400
Oh, oh, actually I came by
to get my last paycheck.
338
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,900
See, the bridal shop
has this policy
339
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,100
about their wedding gowns--
340
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,200
"Fork over the jack,
or it stays on the rack."
341
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,400
So where is it?
342
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,100
Oh, I'm so sorry
343
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,700
that I don't have it ready
for you right this very second.
344
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,400
I guess
I've just been busy
345
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,900
putting up
every single decoration
346
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,500
and ordering
all the hors d'oeuvres
347
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,900
and getting a band together
at the very last minute
348
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,300
so that your reception
could be just perfect for you.
349
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,000
Could you step on it?
I'm in a hurry.
350
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,400
Soda, bartender.
351
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,700
Coming right up.
352
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,400
So how's the bride
on her big day?
353
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,900
Couldn't be better, Sammy.
354
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,300
All celestial omens
are favorable.
355
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,300
Seems that Eddie and I picked
the one day this century
356
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,500
when all the planets
and constellations
357
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,900
are in perfect alignment.
358
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,600
So either we get married
by 4:00 today,
359
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,900
or we wait
until the year 2042.
360
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,600
I don't know, call
me old-fashioned,
361
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,300
but I still think you
ought to get married
362
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:47,600
before your baby does.
363
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,400
( chuckles )
364
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,900
How'd you manage to
swing a church wedding?
365
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
You know, being
divorced and all.
366
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,400
Don't you remember?
367
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,100
I had my marriage to Nick
annulled years ago.
368
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,300
Oh, right, right,
right, right. Took forever.
369
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,400
Mm-hmm.
370
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,900
But things got
speeded up
371
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000
when Nick tried to sell
the Bishop his watch.
372
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,800
Oh, hey,
isn't that Eddie LeBec
373
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,600
sashaying down those
stairs, there, Doc?
374
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,000
Sure looks like it.
But Carla's here.
375
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,200
Isn't there
some superstition
376
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,400
about the groom seeing the bride
before the wedding?
377
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,600
( screams )
378
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,400
( screams )
379
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,700
Nobody believes
in that anymore.
380
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,300
You saw me.
381
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,000
I saw you.
382
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:32,800
I saw you see me.
383
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,000
I saw you see me see you.
384
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,200
Oh...
Shut up.
385
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,100
You're making it worse.
386
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,900
Oh, my God.
387
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,900
We were so careful
about every single thing,
388
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,400
and then we blew
389
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,000
the single most important
superstition of all--
390
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,500
seeing the bride on
the day of the wedding.
391
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,800
What are you
doing here?
392
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,800
I was meeting my mother.
What are you doing here?
393
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,200
I came by to get my check!
394
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,900
That's it.
395
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:55,700
We've blown it.
396
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,900
We can't get
married now.
397
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,500
Call me in 2042.
398
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,300
Yeah, okay. I'll see ya.
399
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,200
You guys are kidding.
400
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,500
Come on. Eddie.
401
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,600
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
402
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,400
Carla...
403
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,500
Look, I don't want
to give up the best thing
404
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,800
that ever happened to me.
405
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,100
Oh, come off it, Eddie.
406
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,500
You're just as
superstitious as I am.
407
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,800
Well, not anymore.
408
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,200
And I'm going
to prove to you
409
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,000
there's nothing
to all that mumbo jumbo.
410
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,200
Woody, hand me a mirror.
411
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,700
Huh?
412
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,700
You know, the one Sam's
always looking at himself in.
413
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,000
What are you
going to do?
414
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,300
I'm going to break it.
415
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,300
The bad luck is
starting already.
416
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,500
He's lost his mind.
417
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,300
( gasps )
418
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,200
Hey, that's my mirror.
419
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,600
You see? Nothing.
420
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,900
The ground didn't open up
and swallow me.
421
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,900
That's because they want
you out in the open
422
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,100
where lightning
can get you.
423
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,000
Don't do that!
424
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,400
Oh!
425
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,900
Which shoulder do you throw
salt over to avoid bad luck?
426
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:56,100
The left, the left.
427
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,200
No! No, no!
428
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,800
Forgive him,
demons of Hell.
429
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,000
He's a hockey player.
430
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,300
( phone ringing )
431
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,800
Don't, don't answer it.
Don't, don't...
432
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,800
Cheers.
433
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,800
Thanks, Woody.
434
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,900
Carla, it's for you.
435
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,400
Go on. Go on, answer it.
436
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,800
Would you take it.
437
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,800
Come on.
438
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,600
Hello.
439
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,700
Oh, hi, Dr. Nadelson.
440
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,400
How did my tests come out?
441
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,500
You've got to be kidding.
442
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,800
What? What is it?
443
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,200
Twins.
444
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:40,000
He spills the salt,
he breaks the mirror,
445
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,400
and I'm the one
having twins.
446
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,800
I told you something
horrible was going to happen.
447
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:46,800
What is so bad?
448
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,900
Twins means
we're twice blessed.
449
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,100
Yeah, I had twins once.
450
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,900
It was the happiest
day of my life.
451
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,500
Lighten up.
452
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,000
Lighten up.
453
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,200
Carla... Carla,
this is great.
454
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,300
Eddie...
455
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,600
You're really happy
about this?
456
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,300
I'm the happiest
man on Earth.
457
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,600
Listen, Carla,
you and me, we can...
458
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,400
we can overcome
any obstacles
459
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,800
that are in our way.
460
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:20,700
You're a great guy, Eddie.
461
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,300
Dumb as a skate blade,
462
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,700
but a great guy.
463
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,500
Ma!
464
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,100
Oh, my baby's home!
465
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:31,100
You see? I knew
things would look up.
466
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,400
What's wrong?
467
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,400
Ma, nothing.
468
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,500
Everything's aces.
469
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,400
It's just that, hey,
when you called
470
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,800
about getting remarried,
471
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,400
I realized
how much I love you.
472
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,800
I just wanted to be
with you on this day.
473
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,200
And?
474
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,500
Uh, and Dad's TV shop--
it went under.
475
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,900
We got evicted,
and I can't get unemployment
476
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,400
'cause Daddy didn't declare me
an employee.
477
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,900
Well, I'm just glad
478
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,800
my little boy's
here for my wedding.
479
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,300
What about his lovely wife?
480
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,200
I'm just glad my little
boy's here for my wedding.
481
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:05,100
Actually,
Mother Tortelli,
482
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:08,400
we didn't want
to return to Vegas.
483
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,700
We don't think
it's any place
484
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,100
for children
to grow up.
485
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,200
You're having a kid?
486
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,300
I'm talking about us.
487
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,500
So, if we could find
someone here in Boston
488
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,100
with an nice house
489
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,900
and lots of extra room...
490
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:26,900
Do you know anyone
like that, Mother Tortelli?
491
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,100
No, no, no.
492
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:30,100
You don't want to come live
493
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,100
in my little, tiny,
overcrowded house.
494
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,500
Ma, it's just temporary.
495
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,500
Just till I get
back on my feet.
496
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,200
Hey, if it's a problem,
497
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:41,400
we'll find someplace
else to stay.
498
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,600
Yeah. I think I saw
499
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,700
a nice cardboard box
in the alley.
500
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,600
See, see?
What did I tell ya?
501
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,700
This is the bad luck
I've been warning you about.
502
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,700
Carla, don't
worry about it.
503
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,800
I mean, the more
the merrier.
504
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:53,900
Look, I'm going to get
505
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,300
a major salary bump
this season,
506
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,900
and then I'll buy us all
the biggest house in Boston.
507
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,600
Wow. A new house?
508
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,900
You bet.
509
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,500
Now do you
finally believe
510
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,700
that nothing bad
is going to happen?
511
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,200
No. I'll just have
more closet space
512
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,700
when it does.
513
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:12,400
Anthony, I'm Eddie LeBec.
514
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,800
I guess I'm your
new stepfather.
515
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,000
I'm hoping one day
you'll call me "Dad."
516
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,700
Hey, Nick Tortelli
is my dad.
517
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,900
You are not my father,
518
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,100
and you never will be!
519
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:23,700
Anthony!
520
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:24,800
You only knocked up my ma
521
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,100
so she'd have to marry you.
522
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,400
Ma, I'm sorry.
The guy was asking for it.
523
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,500
Come on, Annie,
let's go.
524
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,300
Forgive him.
525
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,400
He has the hot passion
of his race,
526
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,000
and I have the envy
of every woman I know.
527
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,400
Well, this is it.
528
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,400
This is the bad luck.
529
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,800
I mean, what
could be worse
530
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,600
than my kid hating
my husband?
531
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,500
Look, it's okay.
532
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,600
He's just a kid.
533
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,500
Oh, you don't
get it, Eddie.
534
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,300
He's the nicest
one I got.
535
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,000
Look, Carla, he's just
being protective of his mother.
536
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,000
God knows
that I think my maman's
537
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,600
the greatest woman
on Earth.
538
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,700
And I can only hope
that our kids feel the same way.
539
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:12,100
Are you from this planet?
540
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,500
Carla, here's your
final paycheck.
541
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,800
Thank...
542
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:22,000
I might say that you have
been a unique employee,
543
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,500
and it's going to
be very difficult
544
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,700
to fill your uniform.
545
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,900
Thanks.
546
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,300
You don't happen to know
547
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,500
any other short, pregnant
cocktail waitresses, do you?
548
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,500
Yeah, can I help you?
549
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,100
Eddie LeBec.
550
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,000
Maman?!
551
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,600
Tu es merveilleuse!
552
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:46,500
Je ne peux plus attendrepour que tu rencontre Carla.
553
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,600
L� voil, au bar.
554
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,500
Carla...
555
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,600
Carla. Carla.
556
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,500
Non, Maman...Maman...
557
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:01,800
Eddie, c'est qu'elle est belle.
558
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,700
Non, non, Maman.
559
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,200
C'est Carla.
560
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,700
( chuckling )
561
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,200
Carla!
562
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,600
Non, non, Maman.
563
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,400
No, no, no, no.
564
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,700
Me Rebecca.
565
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:20,400
Her Carla.
566
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,000
Enjoy.
567
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,000
Carla.
568
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,700
I'm so happy
to meet you.
569
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,900
Non. Non.
570
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,700
Je ne permettraijamais mon fils
571
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:33,900
� marier ce petit souris
572
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,400
avec le grand ventre.
573
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,100
Maman... Maman...Je ne permettrai ce mariage...
574
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:40,800
noon, avec le...Maman.
575
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,800
O, mon Dieu!
576
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,100
She says she has to catch a bus.
577
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,700
Maman!
578
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,700
I get the feeling
she wasn't nuts about me.
579
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,900
What'd she say?
580
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:56,600
What makes you
think I'd know?
581
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,900
'Cause all you pompous
windbags speak French.
582
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,300
She said she'll never
allow this marriage.
583
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,000
Especially to a
pregnant hussy
584
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,000
who's only trying
to trap her son.
585
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,100
Then she said she'd rather
be dragged around town
586
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,600
by her tongue...
587
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:15,700
or else she called you
a small grapefruit.
588
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,000
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
wait a minute.
589
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,900
Before you say anything,
590
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,100
I know what your
mother said.
591
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:27,600
And it doesn't
matter to me.
592
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,000
You finally convinced me
that our love can conquer
593
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,400
any bad luck that
comes our way.
594
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,600
I mean it.
595
00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:36,200
Anthony and Annie
moving in,
596
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,600
your ma hating me,
597
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,800
Anthony hating
you, twins...
598
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,100
Every time one of these
599
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,500
little piddling
things came up,
600
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,600
I kept thinking
601
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,600
you were going to say
the wedding's off.
602
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:46,700
The wedding's off.
603
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:47,900
Yeah, that's what I kept
604
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,100
expecting you to say.
605
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,000
The wedding's off.
606
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,400
Yeah, yeah,
we're all clear
607
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,900
on what I thought
you'd say.
608
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,600
The wedding's off.
609
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,800
But you never said it.
41688
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