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- You know Lula, she loves her syrup.
- You have enough syrup.
4
00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:04,376
Don't use Mrs. Butterworth's
as a squirt bottle.
5
00:02:04,543 --> 00:02:06,711
It's no big deal. You've had enough.
6
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,507
{\an8}- Mom, these aren't brown enough.
- Do you want me to burn them?
7
00:02:10,716 --> 00:02:13,176
No, but I just want them more brown.
8
00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:15,804
{\an8}Mikey, Mom's not a short-order cook.
Okay?
9
00:02:16,138 --> 00:02:17,514
{\an8}Eat up now.
10
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:24,187
{\an8}- Sweetie, I can't get it.
- Don't use a fork.
11
00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:27,399
{\an8}No bubbles at the table.
Eat your breakfast first.
12
00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:30,569
{\an8}She's right, you know,
my eggs taste like bubbles now.
13
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:39,161
{\an8}- Hurry up, honey, you'll be late.
- All right.
14
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:43,331
{\an8}The van needs an inspection sticker.
Good luck.
15
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:49,296
{\an8}Alrighty.
16
00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:51,298
{\an8}What's this?
17
00:02:51,465 --> 00:02:54,176
{\an8}Look who's hiding. Mr. Dino...
18
00:02:54,343 --> 00:02:56,345
...and another weird stowaway.
19
00:02:56,553 --> 00:02:59,056
Okay, Nathan, no cereal in my thingy.
20
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,766
- Goodbye, sweetheart.
- Bye, honey.
21
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:02,184
Nathan!
22
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,428
- What's that?
- What?
23
00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:40,263
That.
24
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,100
Maple syrup.
25
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:50,941
Man! Can you believe
that comes from a tree?
26
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,609
Don't taste my pants.
27
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:54,486
I can't taste your pants?
28
00:03:54,778 --> 00:03:56,238
Ever.
29
00:03:56,655 --> 00:03:57,906
- Ever?
- No.
30
00:03:58,073 --> 00:04:00,367
Well, don't spill maple syrup
on them.
31
00:04:00,784 --> 00:04:02,786
That doesn't mean
you have to taste it.
32
00:04:02,953 --> 00:04:05,122
- I like maple syrup.
- Not from my pants.
33
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,623
I love it.
34
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,047
How about this?
What if you had, like, an inkpad...
35
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:19,011
...only instead of ink,
it was soaked in maple syrup.
36
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,722
Or peppermint. Any flavor you wanted.
37
00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:28,520
- And you just open up your little pad.
- Right.
38
00:04:28,687 --> 00:04:32,315
And you press your finger on it
and then you taste your finger.
39
00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:36,653
Peppermint, any time of day.
Or cherry.
40
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,656
Wouldn't the pad get
disgusting after a while?
41
00:04:39,823 --> 00:04:41,241
Disgusting how?
42
00:04:41,408 --> 00:04:44,661
I don't know. You keep touching
the thing with your filthy fingers.
43
00:04:44,828 --> 00:04:47,998
Couple of days that flavor-pad's like
some mattress at the dump.
44
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:51,001
You're right. It's no good.
45
00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:00,218
Tim.
46
00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:03,847
- Did you get your performance chart?
- Oh, yeah.
47
00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:06,725
Well, look at mine. I don't get it.
48
00:05:06,892 --> 00:05:11,355
Good. Fair. Fair. Good. Then it falls
into the red in the focus department.
49
00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:15,400
Well, you know, Nick, that's because
you're a dreamer. You know?
50
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:19,529
- I'm not a dreamer.
- You're not the most focused person.
51
00:05:19,696 --> 00:05:21,031
You're a dreamer.
52
00:05:21,198 --> 00:05:22,407
Yeah.
53
00:05:22,574 --> 00:05:24,368
I'm a dreamer?
54
00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:27,662
Hey, you wanna feel something?
Come here.
55
00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:29,706
Sit in this chair. Come here.
56
00:05:29,873 --> 00:05:31,375
Okay.
57
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,377
Check this out.
58
00:05:37,506 --> 00:05:40,133
- Sit back.
- This is some chair.
59
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,551
- Do you like it?
- Yeah.
60
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:42,969
Here. Feel this.
61
00:05:43,887 --> 00:05:45,555
What is that?
62
00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:48,475
- Lumbar support.
- Oh, that is good.
63
00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:52,396
- It's made especially for your spine.
- I like it.
64
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:55,732
Comes with the office.
And the promotion.
65
00:05:55,899 --> 00:05:58,944
- Right.
- Thinking of buying a swimming pool.
66
00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:00,821
- What, are you kidding?
- I am.
67
00:06:01,196 --> 00:06:02,614
Thinking bean-shaped.
68
00:06:03,907 --> 00:06:07,327
Expensive. Bean-shaped?
69
00:06:09,955 --> 00:06:11,998
Take a look at my
performance chart.
70
00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:16,253
Look at your focus. It's way up there.
It's in the yellow.
71
00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:20,424
I'm telling you, you get your focus
even into the orange, just the orange...
72
00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:22,676
...I guarantee you can have
a chair like that.
73
00:06:22,843 --> 00:06:24,761
- Really?
- And an office like this.
74
00:06:24,928 --> 00:06:27,305
And a piano-shaped pool
if that's what you want.
75
00:06:27,472 --> 00:06:31,560
It's all there for you. All you gotta
do is focus. Just work a little harder.
76
00:06:31,727 --> 00:06:35,856
You can get bumped up to sandpaper
with me and the world opens up.
77
00:06:36,023 --> 00:06:39,317
You know what, man?
You could really sack out in this thing.
78
00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:42,279
I'm telling you, your numbers
aren't that bad. It's just focus.
79
00:06:42,446 --> 00:06:47,075
If you put together everything else,
you got a really strong thing going on.
80
00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:50,829
Nick.
81
00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:52,789
Nick!
82
00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:56,168
- I gotta get back to work.
- Yeah.
83
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,337
- Good talk.
- Yeah, good talk.
84
00:06:59,713 --> 00:07:02,174
- Remember what I said.
- Focus.
85
00:07:02,341 --> 00:07:04,176
- Just get into orange.
- That's all I need.
86
00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:06,470
Don't even worry about yellow,
just orange.
87
00:07:13,352 --> 00:07:17,397
- Do you ever just watch your hand?
- No.
88
00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:19,816
I was just looking at my hand today.
89
00:07:20,692 --> 00:07:22,986
It was like a separate thing.
90
00:07:23,695 --> 00:07:24,988
It was...
91
00:07:26,365 --> 00:07:27,991
...picking up papers.
92
00:07:29,326 --> 00:07:31,244
It tapped on my desk.
93
00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,205
It sat in my lap.
94
00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:35,499
- It's like....
- Sorry.
95
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,125
It's like a....
96
00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:39,670
It's like a sidekick.
97
00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:43,256
My little ugly sidekick.
It was very odd.
98
00:08:04,736 --> 00:08:06,196
What?
99
00:08:06,947 --> 00:08:09,574
- What?!
- How about this?
100
00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:13,704
A spray can, see?
And you spray it on dog poo...
101
00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:15,747
...and the poo disappears.
102
00:08:16,748 --> 00:08:18,375
- Disappears?
- Yes!
103
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:20,127
Where does it go?
104
00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:22,629
Who knows, but the thing is...
105
00:08:22,838 --> 00:08:25,716
...you come up with something
that gets rid of dog turds...
106
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:29,219
...you are home free, my friend.
Home free.
107
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:47,571
- What?
- Nothing.
108
00:08:49,406 --> 00:08:51,074
Liposuction.
109
00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:56,747
You mean,
where they suck the fat out?
110
00:08:56,913 --> 00:08:58,874
There's a thing about it in here.
111
00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:01,293
You're fine.
You don't need fat sucked out.
112
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:03,462
I don't know.
If we had a little extra money.
113
00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:05,630
- We don't have extra money.
- We have a little.
114
00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:07,424
Not to get fat sucked out.
115
00:09:11,219 --> 00:09:13,388
- Hello?
- Timmy.
116
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,724
- Timmy, check this out.
- What?
117
00:09:15,891 --> 00:09:18,602
You know that invention of mine
that makes turds disappear?
118
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,730
I got a name for it.
119
00:09:21,897 --> 00:09:23,523
Vapoorize.
120
00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:26,026
It's just like "vaporize,"
only you add an O...
121
00:09:26,193 --> 00:09:28,362
...so you got "poo" right there
in the middle.
122
00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:29,780
Yeah, I get it.
123
00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:34,868
Do you see how perfect it is? Maybe
even underline the poo. Vapoorize.
124
00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:36,828
- All right.
- Vapoorize.
125
00:09:36,995 --> 00:09:38,538
Goodbye.
126
00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:40,290
Nick?
127
00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:42,876
- What did he want?
- Nothing.
128
00:09:44,002 --> 00:09:45,796
Vapoorize.
129
00:09:48,423 --> 00:09:51,802
Next up, ladies and gentlemen,
Nathan Vanderpark.
130
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:55,263
- Go ahead, Nathan.
- All right.
131
00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:58,725
Here we go, Nathan. Here we go.
132
00:10:01,019 --> 00:10:02,479
Almost, Nathan.
133
00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,524
- All right. Nice try.
- All right, Nathan, let's--
134
00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:07,943
Oh! Close one.
135
00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:10,987
Oh! Come-- All right.
136
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:12,864
That's enough. Hey.
137
00:10:13,573 --> 00:10:14,825
Almost.
138
00:10:14,991 --> 00:10:17,786
- We'll get them next time, no problem.
- Good job.
139
00:10:17,953 --> 00:10:19,913
You know that guy Dimitriov
in research?
140
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:22,332
- Dimitriov?
- Yeah.
141
00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:23,917
Kind of big beard.
142
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:26,837
- Kind of strange.
- No.
143
00:10:27,004 --> 00:10:29,339
- I told him about my invention.
- What invention?
144
00:10:29,506 --> 00:10:30,799
Vapoorize!
145
00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:33,093
Nick, you got a cute name, that's it.
146
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:36,430
It's not an invention.
It's an idea. It's nothing.
147
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:39,516
Not according to Dimitriov.
He thinks I'm really on to something.
148
00:10:57,075 --> 00:10:58,410
- Bravo!
- Good stuff.
149
00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:00,704
- Good job.
- Good stuff.
150
00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:04,750
You know what? I love this tent.
There's not one bug.
151
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:06,376
Guess what.
152
00:11:06,543 --> 00:11:08,545
I went over to Dimitriov's
a few nights ago.
153
00:11:08,712 --> 00:11:11,048
We were running all these
experiments in his sink.
154
00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:13,717
- He is having a ball with this thing.
- What thing?
155
00:11:14,134 --> 00:11:15,802
You didn't tell Debbie?
156
00:11:15,969 --> 00:11:18,847
No, I'm sorry, I didn't.
Please, go ahead. This is great.
157
00:11:19,056 --> 00:11:21,475
Check it out. It's a spray can, okay?
158
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:23,560
And you spray it on dog poo...
159
00:11:23,727 --> 00:11:25,479
...and the poo disappears.
160
00:11:25,979 --> 00:11:30,776
That is an awesome invention.
I mean, we could sure use it.
161
00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:34,988
It's not an invention. It's nothing.
I mean, how does it work?
162
00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:38,575
It's a spray can and you spray it on.
163
00:11:38,742 --> 00:11:40,285
- Exactly.
- Right?
164
00:11:41,078 --> 00:11:43,705
Yeah, I know,
but I mean, what makes it disappear?
165
00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:46,208
- Things don't just disappear.
- I don't know, honey.
166
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,252
How does anything work?
How does electricity work?
167
00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:50,879
I think it's a great idea.
168
00:11:51,046 --> 00:11:53,548
So do I. I think it's really exciting.
169
00:11:54,591 --> 00:11:57,094
- You're nuts.
- Dessert, everybody?
170
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,471
- I'm nuts. I'm crazy.
- You're crazy!
171
00:11:59,638 --> 00:12:02,599
I have an invention.
Honey, I have an invention.
172
00:12:02,766 --> 00:12:06,520
It's this button you press and wings
sprout out of you and you can fly.
173
00:12:06,687 --> 00:12:10,899
You can fly into outer space,
to the moon, to Jupiter if you like.
174
00:12:17,864 --> 00:12:19,783
He's doing so well.
175
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,743
He's not doing anything.
176
00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:25,539
- Does he have any lines?
- No, honey, he's a tree.
177
00:12:26,456 --> 00:12:28,458
Three months of rehearsal.
178
00:12:31,169 --> 00:12:34,756
Dimitriov wants to know if I wanna
take it to the next level.
179
00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:38,301
Four thousand bucks.
You wanna go in with me, 50-50?
180
00:12:40,429 --> 00:12:43,056
- I pray to God you're kidding.
- Your invention?
181
00:12:43,223 --> 00:12:46,768
We've been working with dry ice.
We've got something amazing.
182
00:12:48,061 --> 00:12:49,312
Nick, forget it.
183
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:54,067
No, wait a minute. $2000.
We have that in our savings.
184
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:58,071
- I mean, who knows?
- Shit doesn't just disappear.
185
00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:00,282
Has to go somewhere.
186
00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:05,203
And it's not an invention, it's an idea.
It's a "pie in the sky" idea.
187
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,664
And I'll tell you something,
as your best friend...
188
00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:11,084
...I think you should just
pull out right now.
189
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:13,712
Don't waste your money.
You're gonna regret it.
190
00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:15,505
"It's a pie in the sky."
191
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:21,219
Where are the kids?
What's happening?
192
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,096
Honey?
193
00:13:27,184 --> 00:13:29,186
I have champagne glasses too.
194
00:13:29,353 --> 00:13:30,854
All right!
195
00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:32,356
What's happening?
196
00:13:32,647 --> 00:13:36,026
Okay, let me get it for you.
I'm gonna do everything.
197
00:13:36,193 --> 00:13:40,197
You just stay there and just relax
and get ready for the big stuff.
198
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:42,199
- We got it.
- Okay.
199
00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:44,618
- Exciting.
- Watch this.
200
00:13:44,785 --> 00:13:47,704
I'm so glad you guys are here!
This is Dimitriov.
201
00:13:47,871 --> 00:13:50,040
These are our best friends
in the universe.
202
00:13:50,207 --> 00:13:51,249
Oh, how do you do?
203
00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:54,378
Give Tim the flash, big D.
204
00:13:54,544 --> 00:13:55,879
Okay. Here, take it.
205
00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:58,048
Goggles.
206
00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:00,717
Shine it right on her, buddy boy.
207
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:02,386
"Her"?
208
00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:25,742
- You told me it would work and it did!
- Did you see that?!
209
00:14:26,535 --> 00:14:29,413
It works. It works like a charm.
210
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:36,503
Did you guys see that?
211
00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:39,589
Get a camera.
There's nothing to shoot!
212
00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:44,511
Spray some on my butt because
I shat my pants. Oh, yeah!
213
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:48,390
We are gonna be so rich. Dimitriov!
214
00:14:48,557 --> 00:14:50,559
Vapoorize!
215
00:14:54,438 --> 00:14:56,982
God, we are gonna be so rich!
216
00:15:02,154 --> 00:15:04,281
No matter what kind of dog
you have, face it...
217
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,283
...they all have to do their business.
218
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,076
Vapoorize!
219
00:15:08,243 --> 00:15:09,453
That's right!
220
00:15:09,911 --> 00:15:12,205
One spray: Problem solved.
221
00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,124
Is this some kind of video trick?
222
00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:15,500
No!
223
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:18,378
It's the miracle spray. One spray
and doggy doo disappears.
224
00:15:18,545 --> 00:15:23,717
No fuss, no muss, no tools, no robot
arm. How do I work it? I don't know!
225
00:15:23,884 --> 00:15:25,969
- Too good to be true?
- No!
226
00:15:26,136 --> 00:15:28,263
Vapoorize: Because life
is tough enough.
227
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,140
Available at stores everywhere.
228
00:16:16,228 --> 00:16:18,689
Now's a good time
to break the big news.
229
00:16:20,816 --> 00:16:22,984
I have decided...
230
00:16:23,151 --> 00:16:25,779
...to run for Congress.
231
00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:27,197
Congress.
232
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:30,409
No, I'm serious.
233
00:16:30,867 --> 00:16:35,163
Yeah. I mean, not the big Congress,
of course, the little one.
234
00:16:35,414 --> 00:16:38,125
- "The little one."
- "The little one"?
235
00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:42,004
Yeah. Actually, it might be
the state Senate. I can't remember.
236
00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,506
Anyway, I'm super excited...
237
00:16:44,673 --> 00:16:48,343
...because we are so lucky...
238
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:51,430
...and we have so, so, so much.
239
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:54,224
And I feel like we need to
give something back.
240
00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:58,478
So I've decided I'm gonna run for
Congress or state Senate or whatever.
241
00:16:58,562 --> 00:17:02,566
And my main platform...
242
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,984
...is going to be...
243
00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:08,405
...the environment.
244
00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,367
State Senate.
245
00:17:12,534 --> 00:17:15,244
Environment,
like the whole environment?
246
00:17:15,412 --> 00:17:20,041
Yeah. I believe in all environments,
and I'm gonna say it.
247
00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:24,338
And now for dessert.
248
00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:26,256
Flan!
249
00:17:26,631 --> 00:17:28,425
Oh, flan! Oh, boy!
250
00:17:29,301 --> 00:17:33,305
- Come on, kids, flan time!
- Get down here, the flan's here!
251
00:17:33,764 --> 00:17:35,432
Flan, kids! Flan!
252
00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:37,017
I love flan. Do you love flan?
253
00:17:37,184 --> 00:17:38,435
What is flan?
254
00:17:38,602 --> 00:17:40,562
Oh, my God, you are in
for such a treat.
255
00:17:40,729 --> 00:17:43,690
- You don't know flan?
- Eat your flan, buddy. Kids, flan!
256
00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:46,943
- Guys, flan's on the table!
- Flan!
257
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:48,320
Flan! Flan!
258
00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:51,948
Flan! Yay! Flan! Flan!
259
00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:53,825
What's flan?
260
00:17:53,992 --> 00:17:56,828
"Jasper and Amos shined
the flashlight into the hole.
261
00:17:56,995 --> 00:18:01,333
Staring up at them, tied and gagged,
was Louie the Grouch."
262
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:03,835
It's getting exciting, isn't it?
263
00:18:04,544 --> 00:18:06,838
Boy, that flan was good.
264
00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:08,632
I wish we had flan.
265
00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:19,393
- Dad?
- Yeah?
266
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,978
How come we're getting
the little, itty-bitty pool?
267
00:18:22,145 --> 00:18:23,689
It's not a little, itty-bitty.
268
00:18:23,855 --> 00:18:27,484
The square one's the little, itty-bitty.
We're getting the bean-shaped model.
269
00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:29,319
A little, itty-bitty bean.
270
00:18:29,653 --> 00:18:33,573
It's not a little, itty-bitty bean.
It's an average-size bean, Mikey.
271
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:35,075
And I got news for you.
272
00:18:35,242 --> 00:18:39,329
There are kids in the world who would
walk 50 miles through quicksand...
273
00:18:39,496 --> 00:18:41,998
...just so they could stick a toe
in your pool.
274
00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:44,835
And I got news for you
about beans too.
275
00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:48,755
There are kids who would eat beans
because they've had nothing to eat...
276
00:18:48,922 --> 00:18:50,882
...but leaves and bark and roots.
277
00:18:51,049 --> 00:18:55,012
And I guarantee you, none of them has
ever heard of your big, showoff flan...
278
00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:58,682
...or flan, or whatever you wanna call
it, that you gotta have every night.
279
00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:00,600
Okay?
280
00:19:05,105 --> 00:19:08,900
Two thousand dollars.
That's all it would've taken.
281
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:12,154
- It's okay, honey.
- Dad's just having a meltdown.
282
00:19:12,362 --> 00:19:14,364
Good night. Sleep tight.
283
00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:17,451
- I don't like English muffins.
- Eat your cereal.
284
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:20,620
- Try different kinds of breakfast foods.
- But I like pancakes.
285
00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:23,040
- Tomorrow, we'll have pancakes.
- Fine.
286
00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:30,464
I don't want any more cereal.
287
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:33,467
Eat up, otherwise you don't get to play
with Corky, okay?
288
00:19:39,431 --> 00:19:41,433
- What?
- Nothing.
289
00:19:42,184 --> 00:19:43,727
Why are you always asking "what"?
290
00:19:44,186 --> 00:19:46,188
- I'm not always asking "what."
- Yes, you are.
291
00:19:46,355 --> 00:19:47,898
It's true, Dad, you are.
292
00:19:48,106 --> 00:19:50,359
Well, because I know
there's something.
293
00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:54,863
- And you know exactly what it is.
- Then why do you say "nothing"?
294
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:57,366
- Corky!
- Hold Lula's hand, honey.
295
00:20:03,163 --> 00:20:04,498
So beautiful.
296
00:20:04,915 --> 00:20:06,958
Such a great horse, Corky.
297
00:20:07,751 --> 00:20:09,127
Who's a good boy?
298
00:20:09,878 --> 00:20:13,256
Corky's a sweet and gentle horse
and me and the kids love him.
299
00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:16,510
Corky happens to shit
the size of a breadbasket...
300
00:20:16,677 --> 00:20:19,513
...in our yard every day
when he comes to visit.
301
00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,473
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
302
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,852
Nothing at all.
I'm just throwing away...
303
00:21:07,019 --> 00:21:10,897
...some more completely useless
inventions.
304
00:21:12,357 --> 00:21:15,152
Oh, for chrissake, Debbie, light?
Light?! Come on!
305
00:21:15,652 --> 00:21:17,821
Come on! This was shit.
306
00:21:17,988 --> 00:21:21,658
You think Edison would've even looked
up from his bench at some shit spray?
307
00:21:21,825 --> 00:21:23,702
Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
308
00:21:23,869 --> 00:21:26,997
{\an8}Because, you see,
a good invention is a good invention!
309
00:21:27,164 --> 00:21:30,000
I got news for you, sister.
Edison ain't looking up.
310
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:33,337
Sister? Sis--? Sister?!
311
00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:35,213
I'm calling you sister.
312
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,424
You should be so lucky
to be my sister.
313
00:21:37,591 --> 00:21:39,343
She knows what she's talking about.
314
00:21:39,509 --> 00:21:41,219
Windtalker or whatever her name is.
315
00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:45,557
- Do not call her that. It's Windsong.
- Windsong. My mistake. Windsong.
316
00:21:45,724 --> 00:21:48,852
Knockety, knockety.
Knock, knock, knock.
317
00:21:49,019 --> 00:21:51,855
How's everybody doing? Whoa!
318
00:21:56,401 --> 00:21:57,986
What a day, right?
319
00:21:58,153 --> 00:22:00,822
Oh, my God! Can you believe
the coffee that thing makes?
320
00:22:00,989 --> 00:22:03,909
I knew you were gonna love it.
Let's go, tiger.
321
00:22:07,412 --> 00:22:10,374
Oh, look who's here, will you please?
322
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:13,460
Look who's here. It's okay, poopy.
323
00:22:13,627 --> 00:22:16,713
Have you been stealing apples again,
you little rascal?
324
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,883
Listen, and I want you to be honest,
has Corky become a nuisance?
325
00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:21,301
- No.
- Not one bit.
326
00:22:21,468 --> 00:22:23,679
Because Natalie says,
"Keep the corral closed."
327
00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:26,973
But Corky's so crazy about
your apples, I don't know what to do.
328
00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:29,434
No more apples for you. No more--
329
00:22:29,601 --> 00:22:33,563
I can't stop him. He loves your apples.
Are you sure he's not a problem?
330
00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,941
- Positive.
- You guys are so fantastic.
331
00:22:36,108 --> 00:22:39,236
Well, my buddy boy,
let's go shoot us some golf.
332
00:22:55,419 --> 00:22:57,713
I got something for you.
I'll be right back.
333
00:22:57,921 --> 00:23:00,382
- Oh, Nick, no. Nick, please.
- Yes. You're gonna love it.
334
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:02,509
You don't have to get me
anything else.
335
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,852
When I hit it big...
336
00:23:12,019 --> 00:23:15,772
...everyone said I should buy a house
in Beverly Hills or Bel Air or Malibu.
337
00:23:15,939 --> 00:23:18,316
"Why spend all that money
on a mansion in the valley?"
338
00:23:18,483 --> 00:23:22,612
But I love my neighborhood and being
across the street from my best friend.
339
00:23:22,779 --> 00:23:25,949
Do you see how it moves in the wind?
That's what I love.
340
00:23:27,451 --> 00:23:31,163
It flaps different than cheaper fabric.
Do you notice that?
341
00:23:32,247 --> 00:23:34,458
- Yeah.
- And it makes you feel better.
342
00:23:34,624 --> 00:23:37,377
Nice fabric makes you feel better.
That's the amazing thing.
343
00:23:37,544 --> 00:23:39,296
It's mind-blowing, isn't it?
344
00:23:39,463 --> 00:23:41,715
Nick, you buy us too much.
345
00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:46,136
Too much? You're my best friend.
Nice things make life nicer.
346
00:23:48,138 --> 00:23:51,516
All right, let's take another look
at that follow-through.
347
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:54,811
I want the head down.
348
00:23:58,857 --> 00:24:00,108
That is nice, Nicky.
349
00:24:00,275 --> 00:24:01,985
- Very, very nice.
- Right?
350
00:24:02,569 --> 00:24:05,155
God Almighty, Mr. Dingman.
351
00:24:05,322 --> 00:24:08,075
Nick, can I talk to you for a second?
352
00:24:10,786 --> 00:24:12,287
Just take a second.
353
00:24:14,247 --> 00:24:16,708
Can't it just be us?
Just you and me playing golf?
354
00:24:16,875 --> 00:24:18,543
It's just, this is costing a fortune.
355
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:21,505
Cut it out with this money thing.
It means nothing to me.
356
00:24:21,672 --> 00:24:22,923
Let's just enjoy it.
357
00:24:24,675 --> 00:24:26,677
Why can't you come with us?
358
00:24:26,843 --> 00:24:29,429
Because Daddy's gotta
stay home and go to work.
359
00:24:29,596 --> 00:24:31,056
You'll have fun at Aunt Nancy's.
360
00:24:31,306 --> 00:24:34,017
Aunt Windsong, and you know that.
361
00:24:34,893 --> 00:24:36,937
It's Aunt Windsong now.
362
00:24:41,942 --> 00:24:45,696
Honey. Honey, you don't have to do
this. Really. Why do this?
363
00:24:45,862 --> 00:24:49,616
Because I have to do this.
We have to do this.
364
00:24:49,783 --> 00:24:51,535
Something has to change.
365
00:24:51,702 --> 00:24:54,705
I can't look at you,
I can't look across the street.
366
00:24:54,871 --> 00:24:57,124
I'm running out of places to look.
367
00:24:58,375 --> 00:25:00,711
Oh, the pool people come tomorrow.
368
00:25:14,307 --> 00:25:16,601
Yeah, you just wait
and see this, Dad.
369
00:25:21,273 --> 00:25:24,067
- Who's the man? Yeah!
- You're the man.
370
00:25:58,518 --> 00:26:00,562
Hey, Timmy, check this out!
371
00:26:14,951 --> 00:26:16,453
Mr. Dingman!
372
00:26:17,162 --> 00:26:19,915
Mr. Parmenter wants to see you!
Section 11!
373
00:26:21,041 --> 00:26:23,251
You wanted to see me?!
374
00:26:24,378 --> 00:26:27,172
- You all right?!
- What?
375
00:26:27,339 --> 00:26:29,675
You seem distracted!
376
00:26:30,509 --> 00:26:31,885
- What?
- Come on!
377
00:26:32,052 --> 00:26:34,638
Now, your performance chart's
pretty good until here.
378
00:26:34,805 --> 00:26:38,475
And then your focus
nosedives into the red.
379
00:26:38,684 --> 00:26:39,976
You see?
380
00:26:40,310 --> 00:26:44,690
Now, is there anything
that happened around here...
381
00:26:46,066 --> 00:26:47,484
...you might like to talk about?
382
00:26:48,777 --> 00:26:49,986
No.
383
00:26:50,153 --> 00:26:52,155
- You sure?
- Yeah. No.
384
00:26:53,323 --> 00:26:54,866
Any reason?
385
00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,952
Reason? No, I can't think of--
386
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,788
Any reason at all?
387
00:27:00,789 --> 00:27:05,002
No. No reason. No.
I mean, nothing I can think of.
388
00:27:06,086 --> 00:27:07,337
I mean...
389
00:27:07,796 --> 00:27:12,092
...you know, other than every day I get
into my little shit-box car...
390
00:27:12,259 --> 00:27:15,554
...and there he is,
with the wind in his hair...
391
00:27:15,721 --> 00:27:18,223
...on his great big, shiny horse.
392
00:27:18,390 --> 00:27:22,894
And I drive off to do what?
To make sandpaper.
393
00:27:23,687 --> 00:27:27,315
To make paper with sand on it.
394
00:27:29,192 --> 00:27:33,155
I'd love to see you try to turn your
weasely mouth into a fake smile...
395
00:27:33,321 --> 00:27:35,198
...day after day after day...
396
00:27:35,365 --> 00:27:38,035
...while waving toodly-fucking-do to
your best friend...
397
00:27:38,201 --> 00:27:41,872
...who's rearing up on a big
white horse like he's the Lone Ranger.
398
00:27:42,205 --> 00:27:44,332
Then I'd like to see your
performance chart...
399
00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:47,711
...you beady-eyed, little,
shrimp-boat bastard!
400
00:27:49,796 --> 00:27:51,214
Is that a reason?
401
00:27:55,344 --> 00:27:58,263
I mean, is that a reason?
402
00:28:19,117 --> 00:28:20,535
Hi.
403
00:28:20,994 --> 00:28:22,913
Yeah, look, I don't really drink...
404
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,749
...but my family just left me...
405
00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:28,001
...and I got fired...
406
00:28:28,210 --> 00:28:30,253
...and I want a drink.
407
00:28:30,420 --> 00:28:35,258
So if you could just give me whatever
you'd have if you wanted to drink.
408
00:28:36,093 --> 00:28:37,594
Please.
409
00:28:42,933 --> 00:28:44,601
Harsh.
410
00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:49,147
Abandoned.
411
00:28:49,815 --> 00:28:51,358
Fired.
412
00:28:53,944 --> 00:28:55,696
It's harsh, man.
413
00:28:58,949 --> 00:29:02,869
Know what the best job
I ever got fired from was?
414
00:29:06,289 --> 00:29:08,125
Pretzel kiosk.
415
00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:12,254
Afternoon shift. Just loved it,
don't know why, just did.
416
00:29:12,462 --> 00:29:14,297
Could be the apron,
who the hell knows?
417
00:29:14,464 --> 00:29:18,093
Or maybe the feeling of power you get
when there's a crowd.
418
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:20,721
One hand's rolling the dough,
tying those babies off.
419
00:29:20,929 --> 00:29:25,726
The other hand's working the soda,
refilling the mustard. It's quite a thing.
420
00:29:26,143 --> 00:29:27,644
I'll tell you a secret.
421
00:29:27,811 --> 00:29:32,816
If a pretzel is a quality pretzel,
you don't need salt. It's just a fact.
422
00:29:39,656 --> 00:29:40,949
How come...
423
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:44,953
...your family up
and blew out of town on you?
424
00:29:46,496 --> 00:29:51,251
Thank you, but I don't really feel like
talking about it right now. Thank you.
425
00:29:52,669 --> 00:29:55,172
So how come you got canned?
426
00:29:56,882 --> 00:29:58,383
It's a whole different topic.
427
00:30:00,385 --> 00:30:02,262
I just blew up.
428
00:30:03,722 --> 00:30:07,768
Good for you, man.
Good for you. Good for you.
429
00:30:07,976 --> 00:30:09,186
Who at?
430
00:30:09,353 --> 00:30:10,771
I blew up at my boss.
431
00:30:10,937 --> 00:30:13,357
Right on, brother. I hear you.
432
00:30:13,523 --> 00:30:15,817
Man, I hear you!
433
00:30:15,984 --> 00:30:18,028
What'd you go and blow up
at your boss for?
434
00:30:20,030 --> 00:30:24,534
You know, it's, like, a long,
complicated story.
435
00:30:25,077 --> 00:30:29,247
Well, that is sensational.
I'm the J-Man, by the way.
436
00:30:30,582 --> 00:30:31,833
- Tim.
- Tim.
437
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,460
Ike.
438
00:30:33,710 --> 00:30:35,504
Another round, please.
439
00:30:35,671 --> 00:30:40,967
Something fruity for me and my friend,
Tim, on the J-Man.
440
00:30:42,094 --> 00:30:43,845
Okay, Tim...
441
00:30:44,513 --> 00:30:48,183
...just let it tumble out
like circus freaks, man.
442
00:30:48,392 --> 00:30:49,976
I'm here for you.
443
00:30:50,143 --> 00:30:53,105
The J-Man is zeroed in, okay?
444
00:30:53,814 --> 00:30:55,065
Go.
445
00:30:57,150 --> 00:30:58,568
Go.
446
00:30:59,236 --> 00:31:02,572
Well, I have this friend.
He's my best friend.
447
00:31:03,740 --> 00:31:06,743
I love the guy.
I mean, it's like we're-- You know.
448
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,870
Our families do everything together.
449
00:31:09,037 --> 00:31:12,207
- We went to work together every day.
- Good. Let it out. Keep it coming.
450
00:31:12,374 --> 00:31:14,209
And he'd have these stupid--
451
00:31:14,793 --> 00:31:17,087
He'd have these stupid ideas.
452
00:31:17,254 --> 00:31:19,297
Open your heart. Open your heart.
453
00:31:19,464 --> 00:31:21,091
Where does it come from?
454
00:31:21,717 --> 00:31:23,135
Shit.
455
00:31:23,301 --> 00:31:24,928
It's all from shit.
456
00:31:25,512 --> 00:31:28,056
You know who you are?
You're like that guy...
457
00:31:28,223 --> 00:31:30,559
...Che, Che something.
458
00:31:30,726 --> 00:31:34,354
- "Che something"?
- Up with the people. People power.
459
00:31:34,646 --> 00:31:37,607
Or that kid that stole a chicken
with the golden eggs.
460
00:31:37,774 --> 00:31:39,401
What a fantastic chicken.
461
00:31:39,568 --> 00:31:42,696
Who's for the giant? Nobody.
You hear what I'm saying.
462
00:31:42,863 --> 00:31:44,281
You're the hero.
463
00:31:44,448 --> 00:31:46,700
Forget Che! You're like Robin Hood.
464
00:31:46,867 --> 00:31:48,952
- Robin Hood? Really?
- Listen to me.
465
00:31:49,119 --> 00:31:52,789
Listen to me. Life's unfair.
It's a raw-deal planet, Jack.
466
00:31:52,956 --> 00:31:56,668
You, my little dumbbell friend, are
Mr. Every Man and you don't know it...
467
00:31:56,835 --> 00:31:59,546
...which makes you like
the grand turbo Mr. Every Man.
468
00:31:59,796 --> 00:32:02,424
- Honestly?
- Come on.
469
00:32:02,591 --> 00:32:05,385
You're like a great big dimwit.
You know that. Fantastic.
470
00:32:05,552 --> 00:32:07,262
Every Man Dimwit.
471
00:32:07,429 --> 00:32:10,974
That stinking family across the street.
Who wouldn't feel like you?
472
00:32:13,727 --> 00:32:17,856
I like you. I'm glad I came in here.
You know that?
473
00:32:18,315 --> 00:32:21,860
Ringlets! Give me a break.
Let me tell you a little story, my friend.
474
00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:23,570
When I was maybe 10...
475
00:32:23,737 --> 00:32:27,991
...there was this kid across the street,
Ernie "Nice Kid."
476
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:32,329
Ernie had everything.
Only kid around with a BB gun, okay?
477
00:32:32,662 --> 00:32:35,457
So one night I see
the whole family drive off.
478
00:32:35,624 --> 00:32:39,753
What'd I do? I sneak across the street
and find the BB gun.
479
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,216
I squeeze off maybe five, 10 potshots
at the windows.
480
00:32:44,424 --> 00:32:46,176
Hello. In my house.
481
00:32:46,343 --> 00:32:49,304
- In your house?
- Yes, you got--
482
00:32:49,805 --> 00:32:51,390
You "squoze" off to your house?
483
00:32:51,598 --> 00:32:54,101
You got it.
Next morning my old man gets up...
484
00:32:54,267 --> 00:32:57,688
...sees all these little BB holes
in our windows. Uh-oh.
485
00:32:57,854 --> 00:33:03,026
He marches across the street, bangs
on the door and, my little bozo friend...
486
00:33:03,193 --> 00:33:07,114
...things changed big time
over there in Ernieville.
487
00:33:12,077 --> 00:33:13,704
That's what you gotta do!
488
00:33:15,122 --> 00:33:17,040
- What?
- Shake things up.
489
00:33:17,207 --> 00:33:19,167
Over there, man. Shake them up.
490
00:33:19,334 --> 00:33:23,880
Give him something to think of besides
the temperature in the candy-ass pool.
491
00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,010
Oh, shit, what time is it?
492
00:33:28,176 --> 00:33:29,720
What kind of question is that?
493
00:33:30,804 --> 00:33:33,807
I gotta get back!
They can't build the pool!
494
00:33:34,725 --> 00:33:36,560
Ike, cab...
495
00:33:37,019 --> 00:33:38,437
...on the J-Man.
496
00:33:49,906 --> 00:33:51,408
Excuse me!
497
00:33:54,244 --> 00:33:55,579
Sir! Sir!
498
00:33:55,746 --> 00:33:57,247
You have to stop, please.
499
00:33:57,414 --> 00:33:59,041
Here they come!
500
00:34:01,251 --> 00:34:05,797
Digging, no. We can't pay for the pool.
We don't-- We can't pay for the pool.
501
00:34:06,298 --> 00:34:08,257
No, no. Stop! Sir!
502
00:34:08,425 --> 00:34:10,260
Sir, I'll talk to the office.
503
00:34:11,928 --> 00:34:13,597
Good afternoon, Mr. Tim.
504
00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:18,143
- Hi.
- You look really, really wonderful.
505
00:34:18,310 --> 00:34:21,772
And here is something from
your great friends across the street...
506
00:34:21,938 --> 00:34:24,608
...while your wonderful family is away.
507
00:34:33,367 --> 00:34:36,745
"Thought you might enjoy a taste from
our newly acquired vineyard."
508
00:35:01,061 --> 00:35:05,357
You gotta shake things up.
Over there, man. Shake them up.
509
00:35:12,739 --> 00:35:14,741
Carousel of dreams.
510
00:35:16,993 --> 00:35:18,745
Casa Corky.
511
00:35:20,038 --> 00:35:21,832
Casa Corky.
512
00:35:25,335 --> 00:35:26,586
Incredible.
513
00:35:27,170 --> 00:35:28,839
Incredible hedge work.
514
00:35:36,763 --> 00:35:38,473
You gotta shake things up.
515
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,935
Over there, man. Shake them up.
Shake things up.
516
00:35:42,769 --> 00:35:44,021
Shake them up.
517
00:36:25,687 --> 00:36:27,064
Corky.
518
00:36:28,357 --> 00:36:30,442
Oh, my God. How is this possible?
519
00:36:30,609 --> 00:36:33,070
How could a little arrow
kill a big horse?
520
00:36:33,403 --> 00:36:35,614
Come on, Corky.
Corky, come on, come on.
521
00:36:35,781 --> 00:36:38,992
It's just an arrow. Just a little arrow.
Come on, Corky.
522
00:36:39,159 --> 00:36:42,662
Giddyup, boy. Corky.
Giddyup. Giddyup.
523
00:36:43,246 --> 00:36:44,748
Corky.
524
00:36:46,083 --> 00:36:49,753
Okay, Corky. Okay, Corky.
Okay. Okay.
525
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,421
Come on, boy.
526
00:36:51,588 --> 00:36:53,757
One, two. Come on.
527
00:36:54,424 --> 00:36:56,093
Shit.
528
00:36:56,259 --> 00:36:58,595
Shit. Oh, God.
529
00:37:00,514 --> 00:37:03,016
Come on! Come on, Corky.
530
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,826
Hey.
531
00:38:06,455 --> 00:38:08,165
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
532
00:38:08,957 --> 00:38:10,292
Car return.
533
00:38:10,459 --> 00:38:11,793
How's that for service?
534
00:38:12,127 --> 00:38:16,089
I'd probably still be driving a limo
if it wasn't for the hat.
535
00:38:16,256 --> 00:38:17,799
Hats.
536
00:38:17,966 --> 00:38:19,676
Hats make my head itch.
537
00:38:19,843 --> 00:38:22,846
- What time is it?
- You got a time hang-up, don't you?
538
00:38:23,013 --> 00:38:25,515
Oh, God. Oh, look at me.
539
00:38:25,682 --> 00:38:28,894
I was thinking the same thing.
You are one big stinking pig, Tim.
540
00:38:29,061 --> 00:38:30,729
- How'd you get my keys?
- Keys?
541
00:38:30,896 --> 00:38:35,400
The J-Man don't usually need keys,
my little dumbbell pal.
542
00:38:37,027 --> 00:38:38,320
So that's the place, huh?
543
00:38:39,196 --> 00:38:40,447
Look at it.
544
00:38:40,614 --> 00:38:42,199
All from shit? I see what you mean.
545
00:38:42,366 --> 00:38:45,702
I don't even live here and that place
over there is pulling my testicles up.
546
00:38:45,869 --> 00:38:48,413
I mean, literally,
they're actually coming up.
547
00:38:48,580 --> 00:38:50,415
You ever get that?
548
00:38:50,749 --> 00:38:52,209
I killed his horse.
549
00:38:52,459 --> 00:38:55,003
- What?
- I killed his horse.
550
00:38:55,212 --> 00:38:57,923
That story you were telling about
shaking things up...
551
00:38:58,090 --> 00:39:00,676
...I went over there
and I shot this bow and arrow...
552
00:39:00,842 --> 00:39:04,179
...and I shot at my house,
and I hit his horse.
553
00:39:04,346 --> 00:39:05,889
He was eating apples in my yard.
554
00:39:06,056 --> 00:39:09,476
Then there was a hole, we were gonna
have a pool, and I buried him in it.
555
00:39:09,643 --> 00:39:12,979
- Well, now.
- Daddy! We're home!
556
00:39:13,146 --> 00:39:14,648
Oh, no! No, no, no.
557
00:39:19,444 --> 00:39:20,696
It's my family.
558
00:39:20,862 --> 00:39:22,072
- Hide!
- Hide?
559
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,032
Hide! Hide.
560
00:39:24,199 --> 00:39:27,828
- Hide? Thought I'd just mosey off.
- No, no, no, no, no! Don't mosey off.
561
00:39:28,412 --> 00:39:30,288
No, you can't mosey off.
They'll see you!
562
00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,749
- So?
- So? So, what are you doing here?
563
00:39:32,916 --> 00:39:35,043
Who are you?
You're some guy from a bar.
564
00:39:35,210 --> 00:39:39,047
What's wrong with--? I'm the J-Man,
bringing your car back.
565
00:39:39,297 --> 00:39:40,549
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
566
00:39:40,716 --> 00:39:42,384
- Hey, tiger!
- Daddy!
567
00:39:42,551 --> 00:39:45,053
- Hey, peanut.
- We all really missed you.
568
00:39:46,096 --> 00:39:47,931
You look terrible.
569
00:39:48,098 --> 00:39:49,558
Honey, one question.
570
00:39:49,725 --> 00:39:51,393
What is at the heart of everything?
571
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,769
What I'm asking you is:
572
00:39:52,936 --> 00:39:56,189
What is at the heart of the heart of
the heart of the heart of the heart?
573
00:39:56,481 --> 00:39:59,192
Do you know what the answer is?
Self-love.
574
00:39:59,359 --> 00:40:02,571
See, Windsong told me that I've been
hating myself for resenting you.
575
00:40:02,738 --> 00:40:06,366
And you've been resenting yourself
for passing up on a big opportunity.
576
00:40:06,533 --> 00:40:09,536
What we need to do is we need to
focus on what we have.
577
00:40:14,332 --> 00:40:16,501
This is.... This guy....
578
00:40:16,668 --> 00:40:18,086
Honey...
579
00:40:18,378 --> 00:40:21,673
...this is.... This man is the man...
580
00:40:23,133 --> 00:40:25,886
...who was in the bathroom.
I didn't tell you.
581
00:40:29,890 --> 00:40:31,141
Honey...
582
00:40:31,308 --> 00:40:34,144
...something happened while you were
gone, something really bad.
583
00:40:34,978 --> 00:40:37,397
- What?
- I'll take it from here, Tim.
584
00:40:38,982 --> 00:40:40,359
Mrs. Dingman...
585
00:40:40,984 --> 00:40:43,612
...I'm Elmo Carp, pool rep.
586
00:40:43,779 --> 00:40:46,239
Your husband and I
were up here discussing...
587
00:40:46,406 --> 00:40:48,450
...your swimming-pool options.
588
00:40:48,617 --> 00:40:50,410
- Swimming-pool options?
- Yes.
589
00:40:50,577 --> 00:40:54,247
You see, we dug it, we had to fill it
back in. We're sorry as heck.
590
00:40:54,706 --> 00:40:58,919
Where do we go from here? That's the
point we were at when you barged in.
591
00:40:59,086 --> 00:41:02,339
I don't understand. Fill it back in?
592
00:41:02,506 --> 00:41:05,300
So you mean we're not
getting a pool?
593
00:41:05,467 --> 00:41:08,553
No, sonny boy, I'm afraid not.
Too many gosh darn pipes.
594
00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:09,971
- Pipes?
- Yes.
595
00:41:10,138 --> 00:41:13,225
Underground pipes in your yard...
596
00:41:13,850 --> 00:41:17,521
...but I've intruded enough
on your little family reunion here.
597
00:41:17,688 --> 00:41:19,189
I'll be on my way.
598
00:41:19,356 --> 00:41:22,025
Oh, and thanks for filthying up
your clothes...
599
00:41:22,192 --> 00:41:24,361
...helping me fill in the big hole, Tim.
600
00:41:24,528 --> 00:41:27,406
Ma'am, your husband's got
the back of a coalminer.
601
00:41:27,572 --> 00:41:29,574
I know because I've mined coal.
602
00:41:29,741 --> 00:41:31,034
See you.
603
00:41:40,335 --> 00:41:42,045
- Something's happened to Corky.
- What?
604
00:41:42,212 --> 00:41:43,463
- Corky?
- Corky?
605
00:41:43,630 --> 00:41:45,966
- Have you seen Corky?
- I haven't seen Corky.
606
00:41:46,133 --> 00:41:47,801
- Corky's gone?
- Have you seen Corky?
607
00:41:47,968 --> 00:41:49,886
- I have not seen Corky.
- That's what I mean.
608
00:41:50,053 --> 00:41:51,805
We've been looking.
Where could he be?
609
00:41:51,972 --> 00:41:53,557
A great, big wonderful horse, where?
610
00:41:53,724 --> 00:41:55,892
Well, Nick, now a horse
can't just disappear.
611
00:41:56,059 --> 00:41:58,353
- He's gotta be somewhere.
- Yeah, but where?
612
00:41:58,729 --> 00:42:01,565
Where? Where?
The kids are a mess.
613
00:42:01,773 --> 00:42:04,526
Wish me luck. Corky!
614
00:42:05,777 --> 00:42:07,404
Corky?!
615
00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:10,323
Corky?! Corky?!
616
00:42:12,409 --> 00:42:15,454
Good afternoon.
My name is Natalie Vanderpark...
617
00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:17,956
...and I'm running for state Senate
in your district.
618
00:42:18,123 --> 00:42:20,083
So I thought I'd canvass
the neighborhood...
619
00:42:20,250 --> 00:42:22,002
...and introduce myself to everyone.
620
00:42:22,169 --> 00:42:23,962
Who it is, Mable?
621
00:42:24,129 --> 00:42:27,591
It's that woman running
for state Senate, Carl.
622
00:42:27,758 --> 00:42:31,261
The shit lady? No way.
We're going with Shaunessey.
623
00:42:32,054 --> 00:42:36,224
Your opponent, Shaunessey, asked
a good question on the radio today.
624
00:42:36,391 --> 00:42:37,726
And what question was that?
625
00:42:37,893 --> 00:42:42,105
Well, didn't your husband get loaded
making turds disappear?
626
00:42:42,272 --> 00:42:46,443
My husband invented Vapoorize,
if that’s what you’re referring to.
627
00:42:46,610 --> 00:42:48,945
Yeah. That’s what Shaunessey
was talking about.
628
00:42:49,112 --> 00:42:50,947
Where do all them turds go?
629
00:42:51,114 --> 00:42:52,949
I mean, they gotta be somewhere.
630
00:42:53,116 --> 00:42:55,452
First they’re here,
then they’re not here...
631
00:42:55,619 --> 00:42:57,079
...and then they disappear.
632
00:42:57,245 --> 00:43:01,083
Where does the turd go to?
Really, tell me now.
633
00:43:24,690 --> 00:43:25,941
So long, everybody.
634
00:43:26,108 --> 00:43:28,485
- Bye, honey, have a good day at work.
- Bye, Daddy.
635
00:43:28,652 --> 00:43:29,861
Bye, honey.
636
00:43:30,028 --> 00:43:32,572
Good luck at the salt mines, Dad.
637
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:38,245
Where am I going?
638
00:43:38,412 --> 00:43:40,497
Wait. Timmy, wait!
639
00:43:40,956 --> 00:43:43,166
Wait! Oh, God.
640
00:43:43,333 --> 00:43:44,835
Timmy, I can't find him.
641
00:43:45,002 --> 00:43:47,671
I've been looking all night,
and he's nowhere.
642
00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:50,007
I know he's just a horse, but....
643
00:43:50,173 --> 00:43:51,508
Corky.
644
00:43:51,675 --> 00:43:55,929
Corky! Where are you, my Corky boy?
645
00:44:00,017 --> 00:44:02,602
Oh, God, look at me. This is crazy.
646
00:44:02,769 --> 00:44:05,814
Will you pass these out
down at 3M for me?
647
00:44:07,065 --> 00:44:08,984
{\an8}I found some...
648
00:44:09,151 --> 00:44:12,029
...grooming hairs in his tail brush.
649
00:44:12,195 --> 00:44:13,947
Oh, my God.
650
00:44:14,114 --> 00:44:16,700
{\an8}- $50,000?
- It's pennies!
651
00:44:16,867 --> 00:44:20,871
It's pennies. Who cares?
Corky's my pal.
652
00:44:21,705 --> 00:44:25,542
{\an8}He's my pal and I'd pay $50,000
to find you...
653
00:44:25,709 --> 00:44:27,961
{\an8}...if you were lost, wouldn't I?
654
00:44:28,128 --> 00:44:30,922
- Yeah.
- Wouldn't I?!
655
00:44:34,718 --> 00:44:36,553
Okay. Okay.
656
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:38,764
It's okay. All right.
657
00:44:38,972 --> 00:44:40,515
It's gonna be okay.
658
00:45:13,423 --> 00:45:15,092
Are you insane? That-- See--
659
00:45:15,258 --> 00:45:18,929
That is the most selfish thing
I ever heard in my life.
660
00:45:19,763 --> 00:45:23,100
The guy loves you, man.
You'd be killing your best friend.
661
00:45:23,266 --> 00:45:25,769
You killed his horse, right?
You killed his horse.
662
00:45:25,936 --> 00:45:28,939
Now you wanna tell him?
You tell him.
663
00:45:29,106 --> 00:45:31,566
What about this?
We move the horse someplace else.
664
00:45:31,733 --> 00:45:35,779
I find it, I get the reward.
I'm bending over backwards here.
665
00:45:36,029 --> 00:45:37,948
How do we move a horse?
666
00:45:38,407 --> 00:45:40,283
We dig him up. We haul him off.
667
00:45:40,659 --> 00:45:42,452
No, I mean...
668
00:45:42,869 --> 00:45:44,413
...without anybody seeing us.
669
00:45:44,788 --> 00:45:46,289
You ever hear of night?
670
00:45:46,623 --> 00:45:49,126
What about the noise?
My family's right there.
671
00:45:49,292 --> 00:45:51,086
I don't want them to.... I mean....
672
00:45:51,253 --> 00:45:53,130
You don't move the horse, I do...
673
00:45:53,296 --> 00:45:56,133
...while you and your family
are enjoying nature...
674
00:45:56,299 --> 00:45:57,968
...down at my cabin on the lake.
675
00:45:58,802 --> 00:46:01,138
- You have a cabin on the lake?
- What?
676
00:46:01,304 --> 00:46:03,140
You think I didn't have a childhood?
677
00:46:03,306 --> 00:46:06,768
Bunk beds, hiking trails, hooty owls.
678
00:46:08,937 --> 00:46:12,274
- You can move a horse by yourself?
- For 50 grand.
679
00:46:12,649 --> 00:46:13,859
Hey.
680
00:46:18,030 --> 00:46:20,782
But I will say this.
681
00:46:21,408 --> 00:46:24,578
Knowing what I happen to know
about things buried...
682
00:46:25,078 --> 00:46:26,580
...the sooner the better.
683
00:46:27,164 --> 00:46:28,415
Hey, Deb?
684
00:46:29,791 --> 00:46:31,960
How'd you like to go to
a nice cabin on a lake?
685
00:46:32,169 --> 00:46:34,463
- Cabin on a lake?
- Yeah.
686
00:46:35,339 --> 00:46:38,675
This guy at work offered his cabin.
It's supposed to be really nice.
687
00:46:38,842 --> 00:46:40,218
Who at work offered you this?
688
00:46:40,677 --> 00:46:42,262
Jackameyer.
689
00:46:42,429 --> 00:46:43,805
Jack....
690
00:46:44,514 --> 00:46:45,766
Jack Jackameyer.
691
00:46:45,974 --> 00:46:49,603
It's an hour away and it's supposed
to have all sorts of wildlife...
692
00:46:49,770 --> 00:46:52,022
...and hooty owls and stuff.
693
00:46:52,522 --> 00:46:54,024
Hiking trails.
694
00:46:55,192 --> 00:46:58,403
Where does the shit go?
We wanna know!
695
00:46:58,570 --> 00:47:02,157
Where does the shit go?
We wanna know!
696
00:47:02,324 --> 00:47:05,952
Where does the shit go?
We wanna know!
697
00:47:34,981 --> 00:47:36,775
Pretty incredible, huh? Whoa!
698
00:47:36,942 --> 00:47:39,444
Watch out. It's okay. It's okay.
699
00:47:39,736 --> 00:47:40,987
What a spot, huh?
700
00:47:41,154 --> 00:47:43,824
What do you mean, "what a spot"?
I mean, where...?
701
00:47:46,368 --> 00:47:49,913
He said it's just down at the end
of the private driveway.
702
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,041
What private driveway?
This isn't a private driveway.
703
00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:56,003
This is pretty private, honey.
I mean, this is great.
704
00:47:56,169 --> 00:47:57,421
Talk about secluded.
705
00:47:57,838 --> 00:47:59,673
We've walked, like, a mile.
706
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:03,010
It's not a mile, honey. It seems longer
because it's so beautiful.
707
00:48:04,052 --> 00:48:05,595
Tim!
708
00:48:06,013 --> 00:48:08,557
- Mommy, where's Daddy?
- I don't know, honey.
709
00:48:08,724 --> 00:48:10,934
- Mom, I'm thirsty.
- Okay.
710
00:48:12,477 --> 00:48:13,937
Tim!
711
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,982
I found it!
712
00:48:17,149 --> 00:48:20,027
It's a little sloping incline
down to the--
713
00:48:24,531 --> 00:48:25,949
This is it?
714
00:48:26,324 --> 00:48:28,118
You bet this is it.
715
00:48:29,036 --> 00:48:30,287
This is....
716
00:48:30,454 --> 00:48:32,080
This is wild, huh, kids?
717
00:48:32,247 --> 00:48:35,709
Kind of like a-- Like an old
gingerbread house in the woods.
718
00:48:35,876 --> 00:48:37,169
Where's the lake?
719
00:48:38,337 --> 00:48:41,340
I'll tell you what. Why don't we check
out the bunkhouse, okay?
720
00:48:41,506 --> 00:48:45,052
Then you guys can have a contest to
see who finds the lake first, all right?
721
00:48:45,218 --> 00:48:47,971
Winner gets 50 cents. Huh?
50 cents. Come on.
722
00:48:48,138 --> 00:48:49,723
Let's check it out.
723
00:48:55,187 --> 00:48:57,314
Okay. Weird smell.
724
00:48:57,606 --> 00:49:00,484
Let's hold our noses. Come on.
725
00:49:01,318 --> 00:49:03,236
It's okay, Mikey, come on in.
726
00:49:04,196 --> 00:49:06,114
- Oh, my God.
- It's okay.
727
00:49:06,281 --> 00:49:08,325
Just a little critter. Just--
728
00:49:08,492 --> 00:49:09,785
Don't touch it.
729
00:49:09,951 --> 00:49:11,953
He's dead. It's dead.
730
00:49:16,291 --> 00:49:19,378
Under no circumstances...
731
00:49:19,544 --> 00:49:21,171
...is this a lake.
732
00:49:24,341 --> 00:49:25,842
Maybe there's a tide.
733
00:49:26,009 --> 00:49:28,804
No. No one could ever find this lake.
734
00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:31,765
Congratulations,
you saved yourself 50 cents.
735
00:49:41,108 --> 00:49:42,567
What is that?
736
00:50:05,465 --> 00:50:07,009
Tim?
737
00:50:07,509 --> 00:50:08,719
Yes?
738
00:50:09,761 --> 00:50:11,221
Tim?
739
00:50:12,264 --> 00:50:14,683
- Yes?
- You're Tim?
740
00:50:15,308 --> 00:50:16,810
Yes, I'm Tim.
741
00:50:17,227 --> 00:50:19,146
The J-Man says, "Come quick."
742
00:50:20,147 --> 00:50:21,481
Come quick?
743
00:50:21,648 --> 00:50:24,693
Yeah, come quick. That's it.
744
00:50:25,444 --> 00:50:28,739
Now, when you see the J-Man,
you tell him we're even.
745
00:50:29,531 --> 00:50:33,618
And Bosco says,
"Up your ass with Mobil gas."
746
00:50:35,037 --> 00:50:36,038
Okay.
747
00:50:36,204 --> 00:50:38,206
What will you tell the J-Man
when you see him?
748
00:50:39,082 --> 00:50:43,045
I'm gonna tell him that
Bosco says, "We're even...
749
00:50:43,211 --> 00:50:45,088
...and up your ass with Mobil gas."
750
00:50:45,255 --> 00:50:46,590
Mobil gas.
751
00:50:54,222 --> 00:50:56,683
It's Jack's neighbor,
he needs some help.
752
00:50:57,809 --> 00:50:59,936
- Neighbor?
- Yeah, that's right, Bosco.
753
00:51:00,103 --> 00:51:03,815
He's as nice as Jack, but his car's
stuck so I'm gonna go help him, okay?
754
00:51:03,982 --> 00:51:05,776
I didn't see any neighbors.
755
00:51:06,068 --> 00:51:08,070
What? You think Bosco would lie?
756
00:51:08,236 --> 00:51:11,448
Why would Bosco lie?
I'll go get him right now if you want.
757
00:51:11,615 --> 00:51:13,033
Okay.
758
00:51:14,451 --> 00:51:15,827
- Okay?
- Yes.
759
00:51:15,994 --> 00:51:18,372
Yes, I'd like to ask him
about this hellhole.
760
00:51:18,538 --> 00:51:20,457
I don't wanna bring him in here.
He's big.
761
00:51:20,624 --> 00:51:22,376
- You know, the floorboards.
- How big?
762
00:51:22,542 --> 00:51:23,794
- How big?
- Yes.
763
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:27,005
Big. He's like a bear of a guy with,
like, a little head.
764
00:51:28,507 --> 00:51:30,217
I don't know what that means.
765
00:51:30,384 --> 00:51:32,260
Look, I'm gonna go help this guy...
766
00:51:32,427 --> 00:51:36,306
...because Windsong would
sure as hell help this guy. Okay?
767
00:51:36,473 --> 00:51:39,267
I'm gonna be back.
Just go back to sleep, okay?
768
00:52:09,715 --> 00:52:12,300
- What's wrong?
- It's for you.
769
00:52:13,260 --> 00:52:15,470
And don't hassle me
about crumbs, man...
770
00:52:15,637 --> 00:52:18,390
...because I am on
the edge of the edge.
771
00:52:20,350 --> 00:52:23,020
- Hello?
- Natalie stormed out of the bedroom.
772
00:52:23,186 --> 00:52:26,231
We had a terrible fight.
You gotta come over here now.
773
00:52:26,398 --> 00:52:28,567
I know you got your Army pal
over there.
774
00:52:28,734 --> 00:52:30,861
I didn't know you were in the Army.
I can come--
775
00:52:31,028 --> 00:52:33,196
No, no, no. I'll come there.
I'll come there.
776
00:52:33,363 --> 00:52:34,573
Okay, good. Thanks.
777
00:52:34,740 --> 00:52:37,367
No, no, no. I'm coming over.
I'll come there. Here I come.
778
00:52:38,785 --> 00:52:40,829
- I gotta go across the street a second.
- No.
779
00:52:41,538 --> 00:52:44,124
That is incorrect. Follow me.
780
00:52:47,002 --> 00:52:49,504
This was no picnic, let me tell you.
781
00:52:49,713 --> 00:52:54,885
I had an '88 Ford flatbed all lined up
with a brand-new winch...
782
00:52:55,052 --> 00:52:57,929
...but I fried it during the hotwire,
goddamn it.
783
00:52:58,096 --> 00:52:59,556
Good thing Monk passed out...
784
00:52:59,723 --> 00:53:02,017
...or I'd never got this baby.
785
00:53:05,562 --> 00:53:07,356
What in the shit is this?
786
00:53:07,564 --> 00:53:08,774
What is it?
787
00:53:09,566 --> 00:53:14,154
It's winches, hoists, pulleys,
blocks and tackles. This kind of thing.
788
00:53:14,321 --> 00:53:15,781
You know how I got the idea?
789
00:53:15,947 --> 00:53:17,824
You know those big things
on Easter Island?
790
00:53:18,158 --> 00:53:19,201
Easter Island?
791
00:53:20,077 --> 00:53:21,078
Easter Island.
792
00:53:21,244 --> 00:53:25,332
With this device, I can place
that horse on top of any object.
793
00:53:25,499 --> 00:53:28,168
That truck's too high.
You won't get the horse in there.
794
00:53:28,335 --> 00:53:31,338
You're like a specially trained
super agent. You know that?
795
00:53:31,505 --> 00:53:33,173
Why do you think I called you?
796
00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:34,925
I was so pissed off.
797
00:53:35,092 --> 00:53:38,679
I nearly climbed back into your house
and smashed some plates.
798
00:53:40,597 --> 00:53:42,849
Stand warned, okay, stand warned.
799
00:53:43,016 --> 00:53:46,269
I have to go over there for a minute
or you don't get your money.
800
00:53:46,436 --> 00:53:48,063
- Do you want your money?
- Oh, yes.
801
00:53:48,230 --> 00:53:52,442
Then put that horse on top of my van.
There's rope and a tarp in the garage.
802
00:53:52,609 --> 00:53:55,278
- Put the horse on the van?
- Put the horse on the van.
803
00:53:55,445 --> 00:53:58,573
- Rope.
- Yeah, and don't make noise. Simple.
804
00:53:58,699 --> 00:54:00,909
- All right? I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
805
00:54:02,536 --> 00:54:03,787
Oh, hello, Mr. Tim.
806
00:54:03,954 --> 00:54:07,124
You're looking very sprightly
for the hour.
807
00:54:07,290 --> 00:54:09,126
We go up the stairs, please.
808
00:54:09,292 --> 00:54:10,877
Right this way.
809
00:54:14,965 --> 00:54:16,842
I've never been in this part.
810
00:54:17,884 --> 00:54:20,387
They are practicing
for the tournament.
811
00:54:25,225 --> 00:54:26,476
Come on!
812
00:54:26,768 --> 00:54:27,978
Yes!
813
00:54:28,311 --> 00:54:30,480
Who's your nanny?
814
00:54:38,613 --> 00:54:39,990
Hey.
815
00:54:40,782 --> 00:54:42,284
Come.
816
00:54:44,327 --> 00:54:45,704
Come here.
817
00:54:46,788 --> 00:54:48,540
Right here, come on.
818
00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:53,503
You're incredible, do you know that?
You're an incredible friend.
819
00:54:55,172 --> 00:54:58,425
- What the hell was that?
- They're bowling next door.
820
00:54:58,592 --> 00:55:00,052
Getting ready for your tournament.
821
00:55:00,218 --> 00:55:02,137
- The tournament.
- They're hitting strikes.
822
00:55:02,304 --> 00:55:04,306
- She's been blaming me for Corky.
- Who?
823
00:55:04,473 --> 00:55:07,642
She just-- Natalie-- She just kept
blaming me for Corky...
824
00:55:07,809 --> 00:55:11,021
...and making me feel guilty.
Then she starts up with the shit thing.
825
00:55:11,188 --> 00:55:13,273
How do I know where the shit goes?!
826
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,943
Then I tell her, "I'm going to Rome
tomorrow," and she freaks out!
827
00:55:17,110 --> 00:55:20,614
She has a complete flip out!
She flips out the room!
828
00:55:20,781 --> 00:55:22,699
- Where'd she go?
- I don't know.
829
00:55:22,866 --> 00:55:24,826
Some other wing. This--
830
00:55:25,911 --> 00:55:27,287
But, buddy...
831
00:55:27,454 --> 00:55:30,040
...this Italy thing is huge.
It could-- Seriously...
832
00:55:30,207 --> 00:55:32,042
...it could mean literally billions.
833
00:55:32,209 --> 00:55:36,713
You know what I think this is?
I think you just gotta get some sleep.
834
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,175
You gotta shut everything down.
Get under the covers. Come on.
835
00:55:40,342 --> 00:55:42,844
Get under the covers.
Don't listen to anything.
836
00:55:43,053 --> 00:55:46,181
- Sometimes you think you hear things.
- You're a great friend.
837
00:55:49,059 --> 00:55:52,979
Sleep and it's gonna be different
and don't wake up. Okay?
838
00:56:07,994 --> 00:56:09,246
Et cetera.
839
00:56:09,538 --> 00:56:13,417
- What about here? Right here?
- You kidding? There's towns around.
840
00:56:13,583 --> 00:56:16,128
You want somebody else
finding my horse?
841
00:56:16,753 --> 00:56:18,714
There's gonna be towns everywhere.
842
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:23,468
Hey, six months I drove a yogurt truck,
okay? This is my territory, Jack.
843
00:56:39,234 --> 00:56:41,111
What do you got up there?
844
00:56:42,446 --> 00:56:43,697
A sofa.
845
00:56:44,156 --> 00:56:46,366
What kind of sofa?
846
00:56:46,658 --> 00:56:48,285
Homemade.
847
00:56:56,209 --> 00:56:59,504
- Oh, my God. What is this?
- Troopers.
848
00:57:00,088 --> 00:57:02,424
Oh, no. No, no, no.
849
00:57:06,595 --> 00:57:08,013
The bridge is out.
850
00:57:08,180 --> 00:57:11,224
Follow the detour along the river
to the next bridge, all right?
851
00:57:11,391 --> 00:57:14,728
- Thank you very much. Good night.
- Let's go.
852
00:57:14,895 --> 00:57:16,146
He didn't notice the horse.
853
00:57:17,564 --> 00:57:21,026
Smokey didn't even notice
that we got a horse on the roof.
854
00:57:28,158 --> 00:57:30,619
- I can't believe he didn't see it.
- Some Smokey.
855
00:57:44,007 --> 00:57:46,551
- Okay, how about right here?
- No, it's not good.
856
00:57:46,718 --> 00:57:49,137
- What's wrong with right here?
- It doesn't feel right.
857
00:57:49,304 --> 00:57:54,476
I hope it's buried soon. I gotta be back
there-- It's gonna be light out--
858
00:57:54,643 --> 00:57:58,355
They're asleep. No one knows you left.
I'm doing you a favor doing this.
859
00:57:58,522 --> 00:58:00,565
How about here?
What's wrong with here?
860
00:58:00,732 --> 00:58:03,485
I dig up the horse, I haul it up,
I invent everything.
861
00:58:03,652 --> 00:58:06,029
Why do we have to do
what you wanna do?
862
00:58:06,196 --> 00:58:08,573
- This is Corky's new home.
- This is not good for me.
863
00:58:08,740 --> 00:58:11,743
- Forget it. This is it, right here. Okay?
- Bad vibe.
864
00:58:15,455 --> 00:58:18,083
Oh, no! He's gone!
865
00:58:20,210 --> 00:58:21,461
Where'd he go?!
866
00:58:21,628 --> 00:58:23,296
- Did you hear anything?
- No, I didn't.
867
00:58:23,463 --> 00:58:24,715
Like a thump?
868
00:58:25,966 --> 00:58:27,300
Where did he go?
869
00:58:27,467 --> 00:58:29,261
Oh, shit!
870
00:58:30,387 --> 00:58:33,724
- Did you check the knots?
- Knots? Who knows knots?
871
00:58:34,057 --> 00:58:36,727
- Not you.
- Oh, you know, I'm not Popeye.
872
00:58:36,893 --> 00:58:40,105
How did we not hear? How do you
not hear a horse fall off a car?
873
00:58:40,272 --> 00:58:42,691
Maybe he's not dead.
Maybe he ran away.
874
00:58:42,858 --> 00:58:45,944
It's raining so hard, the horse might
have fallen off...
875
00:58:46,111 --> 00:58:50,240
...and floated, who knows,
into a ditch.
876
00:58:50,907 --> 00:58:54,327
There's a river that runs along
this road. He could be in it.
877
00:58:54,494 --> 00:58:56,913
Corky could be heading
for the open sea.
878
00:59:15,932 --> 00:59:19,102
Oh, my God, honey.
What time is it?
879
00:59:19,269 --> 00:59:21,355
It's okay. Go back to sleep.
880
00:59:21,563 --> 00:59:23,023
Yeah?
881
00:59:23,190 --> 00:59:25,400
Did you solve the problem?
882
00:59:26,443 --> 00:59:28,236
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
883
00:59:28,445 --> 00:59:29,780
Actually...
884
00:59:31,948 --> 00:59:33,533
...I think I did.
885
00:59:49,007 --> 00:59:51,551
Timmy! Telephone!
886
00:59:59,226 --> 01:00:01,645
Good morning, Mr. Tim.
887
01:00:01,812 --> 01:00:03,063
I must say...
888
01:00:03,230 --> 01:00:06,316
...you're looking fit as a fiddle
this morning, Mr. Tim.
889
01:00:06,483 --> 01:00:09,027
Thanks. I was told
Mr. Nick wants to see me.
890
01:00:09,194 --> 01:00:10,445
Yes, I know.
891
01:00:11,154 --> 01:00:13,615
He's running in the woods.
892
01:00:13,782 --> 01:00:16,827
Okay, I talked to the guys over at 3M.
I know you got canned.
893
01:00:16,993 --> 01:00:19,162
- You've met Pete, right? My trainer.
- Hi.
894
01:00:19,329 --> 01:00:22,499
Hey, don't feel funny around Pete.
I got no secrets from Pete.
895
01:00:22,666 --> 01:00:24,376
- Do I, Pete?
- I don't think so.
896
01:00:24,543 --> 01:00:27,004
So here's the deal. Buddy boy...
897
01:00:27,170 --> 01:00:32,592
...that my little hearty "hi-ho Silver"
routine had that kind of affect on you...
898
01:00:32,759 --> 01:00:35,178
...man, all I can say is
I am such a jerk.
899
01:00:35,345 --> 01:00:39,474
But it's the best thing to ever happen
because I'm gonna kick ass in Rome.
900
01:00:39,683 --> 01:00:43,854
And guess what. You unemployed
bum, you'll come kick ass with me.
901
01:00:44,021 --> 01:00:45,772
Because I want us to be partners.
902
01:00:46,189 --> 01:00:48,316
I want us to be equal again, man.
903
01:00:48,483 --> 01:00:51,778
Why not? I mean, for crying out loud,
I've got a Pete.
904
01:00:51,945 --> 01:00:55,365
Why shouldn't you have a Pete?
Who wouldn't like to have a Pete?
905
01:00:55,532 --> 01:00:58,660
So this is the deal.
From now on, you and me, 50-50.
906
01:00:59,244 --> 01:01:02,497
- Fifty-fifty?
- That's right. Fifty-fifty.
907
01:01:02,664 --> 01:01:06,209
I'll talk to my lawyer. Why didn't I
think of it sooner? It's awesome!
908
01:01:06,376 --> 01:01:10,047
Get the hell out of here, the limo
leaves in an hour and a half!
909
01:01:10,213 --> 01:01:13,300
Buddy boy! Let's go, buddy boy!
910
01:01:14,176 --> 01:01:17,596
All right. Come on. Now, pump it up.
I want full cardio blast now.
911
01:01:17,763 --> 01:01:19,723
- Let's go.
- Don't be shy.
912
01:01:20,974 --> 01:01:22,267
There you go.
913
01:01:23,727 --> 01:01:25,604
No, keep going! Keep it there!
914
01:01:29,274 --> 01:01:32,152
- Crampers. Crampers.
- You all right?
915
01:01:32,319 --> 01:01:36,865
I don't know, honey. I mean, do we
wanna be part of the shit industry?
916
01:01:37,032 --> 01:01:39,743
What about the heart of the heart
of the heart of the heart?
917
01:01:39,910 --> 01:01:43,789
I don't think this conflicts with that.
I mean, you know, there's....
918
01:01:43,955 --> 01:01:49,211
It's a lot of money and the heart
of the heart, and they're both....
919
01:01:50,087 --> 01:01:52,422
Still have the heart
with a lot of money.
920
01:01:52,589 --> 01:01:53,840
I think.
921
01:01:54,007 --> 01:01:55,592
- You know.
- You know what I think?
922
01:01:56,551 --> 01:01:59,429
I think I know what we should do.
I think we should just try it.
923
01:01:59,596 --> 01:02:01,098
- Try it!
- Yes.
924
01:02:01,264 --> 01:02:03,892
- Try it. Try it.
- Try it.
925
01:02:04,059 --> 01:02:05,769
- Try it. We see how it feels.
- Try it.
926
01:02:08,605 --> 01:02:11,358
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
927
01:02:14,736 --> 01:02:16,613
- Bye, Daddy.
- We'll miss you.
928
01:02:16,780 --> 01:02:18,907
- We miss you already.
- I'll be home soon.
929
01:02:32,796 --> 01:02:34,297
Good to see you, captain.
930
01:02:43,432 --> 01:02:45,809
Know what I'm thinking?
I think we should target zoos.
931
01:02:45,976 --> 01:02:47,310
Thank you, Denise. Zoos?
932
01:02:47,477 --> 01:02:50,272
Yeah, zoos. I mean,
come on, they're full of poop.
933
01:02:50,439 --> 01:02:53,316
I popped on the Internet
just before we got on the plane.
934
01:02:53,483 --> 01:02:57,112
Did you know that an elephant goes,
like, 100 pounds a day?
935
01:02:57,279 --> 01:03:01,324
Times that by seven, it's 700 pounds
of dung a week for one elephant.
936
01:03:01,491 --> 01:03:04,369
There's gotta be thousands
of zoos in the world.
937
01:03:04,536 --> 01:03:08,290
That is really very good. Zoos.
938
01:03:08,457 --> 01:03:10,334
- I got another one for you.
- Yeah?
939
01:03:10,500 --> 01:03:13,378
Travel industry.
We get into the travel industry.
940
01:03:13,545 --> 01:03:16,590
I'm talking about little
travel-size Vapoorize.
941
01:03:16,757 --> 01:03:19,926
You mean, like the cute little
shampoo bottles?
942
01:03:20,093 --> 01:03:23,180
- Exactly.
- God, that's so simple and awesome!
943
01:03:23,347 --> 01:03:25,515
You're on a trip,
you wanna walk through Venice.
944
01:03:25,682 --> 01:03:28,268
You step in dog doo, you wanna
spray it. What do you do?
945
01:03:28,435 --> 01:03:31,063
- You take out a travel-size Vapoorize.
- That's it!
946
01:03:31,271 --> 01:03:33,732
A little Velcro holster
you put on your belt.
947
01:03:33,899 --> 01:03:36,902
Right next to your cell phone,
your pager, your Vapoorize.
948
01:03:37,069 --> 01:03:40,238
You can walk the dog hands-free and
not worry about carrying Vapoorize.
949
01:03:40,405 --> 01:03:43,116
- I love a holster.
- Accessorize with Vapoorize.
950
01:03:43,283 --> 01:03:46,078
Hold on. Hold on.
Let me take it from here.
951
01:03:46,495 --> 01:03:49,956
You're walking along
A-doodley doo
952
01:03:50,123 --> 01:03:53,502
All of a sudden
You stepped in poo
953
01:03:53,669 --> 01:03:55,545
You don't know what to do
954
01:03:55,712 --> 01:03:58,757
- Whaddya do?
- I don't know what to do
955
01:04:00,509 --> 01:04:03,387
Vapoorize Vapoorize
956
01:04:03,553 --> 01:04:05,097
Mountain-scented Vapoorize
957
01:04:05,263 --> 01:04:07,099
Vapoorize
958
01:04:07,432 --> 01:04:10,769
- What is the "dooka-dooka"...?
- I thought there would be drums....
959
01:04:30,330 --> 01:04:32,374
Come on. Look at this place.
960
01:04:32,541 --> 01:04:34,251
Go check out your bedroom.
961
01:04:46,930 --> 01:04:48,598
Wow.
962
01:05:09,786 --> 01:05:11,163
Vapoorize.
963
01:05:12,956 --> 01:05:14,624
Vapoorize.
964
01:05:35,312 --> 01:05:36,563
Shopping.
965
01:05:39,775 --> 01:05:41,860
- Gucci.
- Gucci. Here, here, here.
966
01:05:42,027 --> 01:05:45,530
This would look great in the back yard
next to the bug tent. We'll take it.
967
01:05:45,697 --> 01:05:48,950
- I would love to buy this.
- It's great. Pay the man.
968
01:05:49,117 --> 01:05:52,662
It makes the whole house.
It makes the yard. With the sound.
969
01:05:52,829 --> 01:05:57,042
Well, it's ridiculous, but that's
what I love about it. I like this.
970
01:05:57,209 --> 01:06:00,253
{\an8}with the Dow off 11 and
the NASDAQ up five and a half.
971
01:06:00,504 --> 01:06:03,006
{\an8}All in all, a rather sluggish day
on Wall Street.
972
01:06:03,173 --> 01:06:06,802
On the international front, investors
are watching Vanderpark Enterprises.
973
01:06:06,968 --> 01:06:10,764
CEO Nicholas Vanderpark
and his new partner, Tim Dingman...
974
01:06:10,931 --> 01:06:13,350
...arrive in Italy to introduce
to Europe...
975
01:06:13,517 --> 01:06:15,811
...their complete line
of fecal-removing product...
976
01:06:16,228 --> 01:06:18,855
...that's had such remarkable
success in the United States.
977
01:06:19,147 --> 01:06:21,525
{\an8}The American entrepreneurs
have reason to be hopeful.
978
01:06:21,692 --> 01:06:25,195
{\an8}They were greeted with great
enthusiasm everywhere, and fanfare.
979
01:06:25,362 --> 01:06:29,491
Later, they'll be feted at a banquet to
be held in the presidential palace.
980
01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:41,586
He says, "I noticed when
we climbed into the tub...
981
01:06:41,753 --> 01:06:45,382
...our three penises were
quite similar in size and bulk."
982
01:06:50,387 --> 01:06:52,723
He say, "And I thought to myself:
983
01:06:52,889 --> 01:06:55,058
'Good. Good.'"
984
01:06:56,727 --> 01:06:58,603
Envy is a funny, funny thing.
985
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:07,070
He say, "I remember
when I was a teenager...
986
01:07:07,237 --> 01:07:10,407
...my friend Armando and I
spent the summer in New York.
987
01:07:10,574 --> 01:07:12,409
A sweet time of life."
988
01:07:21,752 --> 01:07:23,420
The minister, he says:
989
01:07:23,587 --> 01:07:27,883
"I must tell you, my friend Armando
had a hog like a freight train."
990
01:07:28,759 --> 01:07:30,177
"What a hog."
991
01:07:37,601 --> 01:07:40,187
He says, "And I must
tell you secretly...
992
01:07:40,354 --> 01:07:43,106
...Armando's freight-train-size
manhood...
993
01:07:43,273 --> 01:07:46,818
...made me, with a regular-size one,
quite miserable."
994
01:07:50,030 --> 01:07:53,116
"Not all the time miserable,
of course, but sometimes."
995
01:08:03,627 --> 01:08:06,880
This call has been transferred to you.
996
01:08:07,297 --> 01:08:09,091
Thank you. Thank you.
997
01:08:10,801 --> 01:08:13,970
- Hello?
- Turbo Every Man, my ass.
998
01:08:14,137 --> 01:08:16,305
I'll tell you another thing.
Where do you get off?
999
01:08:16,473 --> 01:08:17,808
I bought you drinks.
1000
01:08:17,974 --> 01:08:21,478
You vacation in my bungalow
and now you go jump ship.
1001
01:08:21,645 --> 01:08:23,354
Screw Robin Hood, you hear me?
1002
01:08:23,522 --> 01:08:26,649
Screw the Merry Men.
You're a stinko pinko.
1003
01:08:27,192 --> 01:08:28,484
Turncoat!
1004
01:08:28,652 --> 01:08:31,822
Here's what I do, Mr. Traitor.
Remember Lester?
1005
01:08:31,988 --> 01:08:35,117
He pumped our gas
when we moved the sofa.
1006
01:08:35,283 --> 01:08:37,160
Not a tooth in his head, nice fella.
1007
01:08:37,327 --> 01:08:40,706
- Remember him now?
- I do. Yes. Yep.
1008
01:08:41,497 --> 01:08:47,045
Good. For $50,000,
Lester keeps thinking it's a sofa.
1009
01:08:47,212 --> 01:08:49,171
And me and him don't
go spill the beans...
1010
01:08:49,339 --> 01:08:51,966
...to your big hoity-toity pal
across the street.
1011
01:08:52,134 --> 01:08:54,094
Let's be very clear on this.
1012
01:08:54,261 --> 01:08:56,263
I want $50,000...
1013
01:08:56,430 --> 01:08:59,558
...or I tell your friend
you killed his horse.
1014
01:09:19,368 --> 01:09:21,328
Debbie? Deb, I'm home.
1015
01:09:21,496 --> 01:09:25,042
Sweetheart, I've been "liposucked."
1016
01:09:25,250 --> 01:09:28,545
Can you tell? Can you?
Does it look good?
1017
01:09:28,712 --> 01:09:33,216
Dr. Weitzman is supposed to be
a genius, and it didn't even really hurt.
1018
01:09:33,383 --> 01:09:37,095
And that is not all. Come.
I am so excited.
1019
01:09:38,220 --> 01:09:40,390
Here's a little gift I bought for us.
1020
01:09:40,557 --> 01:09:43,225
A little 50-50 surprise.
1021
01:09:45,020 --> 01:09:47,397
- My big, international partner.
- Debbie.
1022
01:09:47,564 --> 01:09:49,858
- I wanna do it on the laundry.
- Where are the kids?
1023
01:09:50,024 --> 01:09:52,069
At mother's, honey. It's just us.
1024
01:09:52,234 --> 01:09:56,239
Come lie on the warm pile.
It's all fresh, clean out of the dryer.
1025
01:09:56,406 --> 01:09:59,493
I will lie with you after I tell you
something important.
1026
01:09:59,659 --> 01:10:01,745
I got drunk, and I accidentally
killed Corky.
1027
01:10:01,912 --> 01:10:04,414
I buried him in the swimming-pool
hole in the back yard.
1028
01:10:04,581 --> 01:10:07,584
The pool guy, he's actually
some bum I met at a bar.
1029
01:10:08,377 --> 01:10:09,711
Nick, where does it go?
1030
01:10:09,878 --> 01:10:11,088
- What?
- The shit.
1031
01:10:11,254 --> 01:10:12,923
- Where does the shit go?
- Up.
1032
01:10:13,090 --> 01:10:15,634
"Up" is not good enough.
You'll have to do better than "up."
1033
01:10:15,801 --> 01:10:18,512
- Up and out.
- Out where?!
1034
01:10:18,679 --> 01:10:20,806
Up and out. Out. Up and out.
1035
01:10:20,972 --> 01:10:22,933
- Up and out?
- Up and out.
1036
01:10:23,100 --> 01:10:26,770
But the bum wants $50,000 or he'll tell
and we won't have a chance to be rich.
1037
01:10:29,398 --> 01:10:30,774
Oh, my God.
1038
01:10:30,941 --> 01:10:32,275
Yes! Yes! Yes!
1039
01:10:32,609 --> 01:10:34,027
Go and pay the bum.
1040
01:10:34,194 --> 01:10:36,446
- Go pay the bum now.
- Go pay the bum?
1041
01:10:37,114 --> 01:10:39,282
- Honey, I love you.
- I love you too.
1042
01:10:39,449 --> 01:10:42,160
Bye, bye, bye, bye. What?
1043
01:10:42,327 --> 01:10:45,122
You don't know this guy.
I mean, he's not like other people.
1044
01:10:45,288 --> 01:10:47,541
What if we pay him
and then he wants more?
1045
01:10:48,458 --> 01:10:50,460
Then we will give him more.
1046
01:10:50,627 --> 01:10:52,129
What if he wants more after that?
1047
01:10:52,295 --> 01:10:55,757
We'll give him more money because
we'll have enough money to give him.
1048
01:10:55,924 --> 01:10:58,719
But it'll never end with him.
He'll be in our lives forever.
1049
01:10:58,885 --> 01:11:04,182
Tim, if he tells Nick, it'll all be over.
You know, what else can we do?
1050
01:11:06,852 --> 01:11:08,478
We fess up.
1051
01:11:09,813 --> 01:11:11,982
- Fess up?
- Yeah.
1052
01:11:12,315 --> 01:11:15,402
Yeah. No, no, no. We fess up.
We fess up. We tell Nick.
1053
01:11:15,569 --> 01:11:17,779
Put ourselves in their hands,
ask for forgiveness.
1054
01:11:17,946 --> 01:11:19,156
- Forgiveness?
- Yes.
1055
01:11:19,322 --> 01:11:21,241
Honey, you killed his horse!
1056
01:11:21,408 --> 01:11:22,826
I'm telling him everything.
1057
01:11:22,993 --> 01:11:26,371
No, sweetheart! Please.
Please don't do it to me.
1058
01:11:26,538 --> 01:11:30,709
I love my car in the garage.
It's got heated seats.
1059
01:11:30,876 --> 01:11:33,170
And I've got shoes. I've got bags.
1060
01:11:33,337 --> 01:11:35,672
- Knock, knock.
- Clothes.
1061
01:11:35,839 --> 01:11:38,008
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
1062
01:11:38,175 --> 01:11:39,718
Look at you two.
1063
01:11:39,885 --> 01:11:42,471
Oh, God, I'm so envious of you!
1064
01:11:42,637 --> 01:11:44,348
You've gotta give Natalie a talk.
1065
01:11:44,514 --> 01:11:47,893
She's locked herself in the bathroom,
and I want what you have so bad!
1066
01:11:48,060 --> 01:11:50,020
- I want some of that!
- Okay.
1067
01:11:50,187 --> 01:11:54,816
Don't say a word.
Not a word. Not a word. Okay?
1068
01:11:55,025 --> 01:11:58,028
Everywhere I go, they're yelling at me,
"Where does the shit go?"
1069
01:11:58,195 --> 01:12:00,238
And we don't know!
What if my opponent's right?
1070
01:12:00,405 --> 01:12:02,741
- What if we are polluting?
- Natalie...
1071
01:12:02,908 --> 01:12:07,537
...the only thing this guy Shaunessey's
got going for him is your own guilt.
1072
01:12:07,704 --> 01:12:09,164
Guilt that you're wealthy.
1073
01:12:09,373 --> 01:12:14,044
You know what, we're partners now,
and we have money too.
1074
01:12:14,586 --> 01:12:16,588
And you know what we're
gonna do with ours?
1075
01:12:16,755 --> 01:12:21,718
We're gonna sponsor the biggest rally
for you that this town has ever seen.
1076
01:12:21,885 --> 01:12:24,221
Then we are gonna
throw out this challenge.
1077
01:12:24,846 --> 01:12:27,349
We are gonna say
that if anyone can say...
1078
01:12:27,516 --> 01:12:30,185
...that Vapoorize does damage
to anything...
1079
01:12:30,602 --> 01:12:33,522
...then Natalie Vanderpark
will cease to be a candidate.
1080
01:12:39,945 --> 01:12:43,407
May I suggest we put on
our dancing shoes?
1081
01:12:45,742 --> 01:12:47,327
Oh, honey!
1082
01:12:47,744 --> 01:12:48,995
I love you.
1083
01:12:49,371 --> 01:12:51,748
So how was the flight?
Was it enjoyable?
1084
01:12:51,915 --> 01:12:53,834
Yeah, it was fine.
It was very smooth.
1085
01:12:54,001 --> 01:12:56,586
Everything went fine.
Here's what I gotta tell you.
1086
01:12:56,753 --> 01:12:59,131
We'll pay you the money, okay?
We got it all worked out.
1087
01:12:59,339 --> 01:13:02,968
That is sensational news,
my little gypsy-roving friend.
1088
01:13:03,135 --> 01:13:06,304
But I've revised my thinking
about the 50-grand thing.
1089
01:13:06,471 --> 01:13:08,432
I can't accept that.
1090
01:13:08,598 --> 01:13:10,767
I mean, what are we, animals?
1091
01:13:10,934 --> 01:13:13,228
- What? No, we're not animals.
- No, of course not.
1092
01:13:13,395 --> 01:13:15,313
What we are is pals.
1093
01:13:15,480 --> 01:13:17,274
You slept in my bunk.
1094
01:13:17,441 --> 01:13:18,900
I ate some of your crackers.
1095
01:13:19,067 --> 01:13:20,318
We sang in the rain.
1096
01:13:34,166 --> 01:13:36,543
- Yes, I remember.
- That's when we were buddies.
1097
01:13:36,710 --> 01:13:39,004
Last week? Yeah. I remember.
1098
01:13:39,171 --> 01:13:43,633
So, what I'm saying is
to hell with the flat-cash payout.
1099
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:45,427
I say let's be partners.
1100
01:13:46,011 --> 01:13:47,512
- Partners?
- Why not?
1101
01:13:47,679 --> 01:13:49,014
What do you mean, "partners"?
1102
01:13:49,181 --> 01:13:52,476
You, me, your other so-called friend
in a cozy little triumvirate.
1103
01:13:52,642 --> 01:13:54,102
Am I using the word correctly?
1104
01:13:54,269 --> 01:13:57,647
No. Listen to me. We're not partners.
How can we be partners? We don't--
1105
01:13:57,814 --> 01:14:00,317
We'll iron out the details
when I come over later.
1106
01:14:00,525 --> 01:14:02,819
This evening.
Who the hell knows exactly when.
1107
01:14:02,986 --> 01:14:04,571
- You're not coming over here.
- Yes.
1108
01:14:04,738 --> 01:14:08,200
And don't you worry, buddy partner.
I'll smooth out the rough parts.
1109
01:14:08,367 --> 01:14:10,369
- You wanna talk? I'll come to you.
- Oh, yes!
1110
01:14:10,535 --> 01:14:12,162
- Where are you?
- I'm coming over.
1111
01:14:12,329 --> 01:14:14,456
- You're not coming over.
- Don't you worry, buddy.
1112
01:14:14,623 --> 01:14:16,249
We'll put pen to paper. Bye-bye.
1113
01:14:16,416 --> 01:14:17,793
- Listen to me.
- Bye-bye.
1114
01:14:17,959 --> 01:14:20,796
There are no rough parts to smooth.
What? Hello?
1115
01:14:24,841 --> 01:14:26,385
Oh, God.
1116
01:14:27,219 --> 01:14:29,888
All right. I gotta tell Nick.
I'm just gonna tell him.
1117
01:14:47,656 --> 01:14:49,282
Come on, honey.
1118
01:14:50,033 --> 01:14:51,993
Start with your hips.
1119
01:14:52,744 --> 01:14:53,995
Come on.
1120
01:15:13,140 --> 01:15:15,267
Mr. Vanderpark!
1121
01:15:15,517 --> 01:15:19,855
Mr. Vanderpark! The merry-go-round
is acting up again.
1122
01:15:22,232 --> 01:15:25,110
I hate that thing. I hate it.
1123
01:15:25,318 --> 01:15:27,904
Timmy, I'm sorry,
we gotta deal with it.
1124
01:15:32,451 --> 01:15:35,328
Nick, I gotta talk to you.
I did something really stupid, Nick.
1125
01:15:35,495 --> 01:15:38,749
You won't believe what happened.
This is the stupidest, most ridiculous--
1126
01:15:38,915 --> 01:15:40,917
That wife of yours, man,
she was incredible.
1127
01:15:41,084 --> 01:15:45,297
But I don't care how much money we
make, don't buy one of these. It's junk.
1128
01:15:45,464 --> 01:15:47,758
It just keeps on speeding up
for no reason.
1129
01:15:47,924 --> 01:15:52,346
- Nick, I gotta talk to you.
- And the on-off button's in the middle!
1130
01:15:52,512 --> 01:15:55,265
- I did a horrible thing.
- The thing is in the middle.
1131
01:15:55,432 --> 01:15:58,602
- Here goes. All right, come on.
- Nick!
1132
01:16:19,039 --> 01:16:20,415
Nick!
1133
01:16:24,211 --> 01:16:27,964
- Hang on!
- I can't hold on much longer!
1134
01:16:35,847 --> 01:16:37,849
- Nick, are you okay?
- Ribs.
1135
01:16:38,016 --> 01:16:39,893
Yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm fine.
1136
01:16:40,060 --> 01:16:41,937
Goddamned bas--
1137
01:16:42,104 --> 01:16:45,190
Bastard, bitch merry-go-round.
Stupid merry-go-round!
1138
01:16:45,357 --> 01:16:48,652
- Listen, I gotta talk to you.
- Stupid, crappy, stupid thing.
1139
01:16:48,819 --> 01:16:51,738
I feel really guilty. I've been
feeling guilty for a long time.
1140
01:16:51,905 --> 01:16:55,033
- It's impossible to turn it off.
- I did something really stupid.
1141
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:57,661
- Where's the switch?
- I hate you, merry-go-round.
1142
01:16:57,828 --> 01:17:01,623
It's in the middle of the thing.
It's impossible to turn off.
1143
01:17:01,790 --> 01:17:03,458
- Where's the button?
- In the middle.
1144
01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:05,877
I'll turn it off, then we're gonna talk.
1145
01:17:06,044 --> 01:17:07,462
I'm gonna get it.
1146
01:17:18,140 --> 01:17:19,516
Timmy.
1147
01:17:19,683 --> 01:17:23,520
Oh, man, are you all right?
Let me help you up there.
1148
01:17:23,687 --> 01:17:27,649
Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
Come on, buddy. All right.
1149
01:17:27,816 --> 01:17:29,735
- You okay? Yeah?
- Yeah.
1150
01:17:29,901 --> 01:17:34,031
It knocked the wind out of you.
You went flying off of that thing.
1151
01:17:34,197 --> 01:17:39,119
Now, listen. I don't wanna let this
ruin our jolly feeling.
1152
01:17:39,286 --> 01:17:42,706
Let's go back in there and talk about
this fantastic rally.
1153
01:17:42,873 --> 01:17:45,834
- No. You see this bow and arrow?
- Yeah.
1154
01:17:46,877 --> 01:17:48,545
- One night....
- Yeah?
1155
01:17:49,463 --> 01:17:50,714
One night--
1156
01:17:51,256 --> 01:17:53,884
I'm so ashamed of this. But one night--
1157
01:17:57,929 --> 01:17:59,097
My God!
1158
01:17:59,264 --> 01:18:02,392
Oh, man! I told you
it was a piece of junk!
1159
01:18:02,559 --> 01:18:04,102
- I'm glad we weren't on it.
- What?
1160
01:18:04,269 --> 01:18:08,732
- I said, I'm glad we weren't on it.
- I can't hear. Are your ears ringing?
1161
01:18:08,899 --> 01:18:10,901
- No.
- Boy, mine are.
1162
01:18:11,068 --> 01:18:13,070
What was it you were
saying, my fine friend?
1163
01:18:13,236 --> 01:18:16,365
What I was saying is that one night
I got drunk. All right?
1164
01:18:16,531 --> 01:18:19,826
Being drunk had nothing to do with it.
I can't even explain it.
1165
01:18:19,993 --> 01:18:23,246
Wait, you know what?
I'm thinking it's just one ear.
1166
01:18:23,413 --> 01:18:26,917
I hear you way better
when I turn like this. Talk to me.
1167
01:18:27,084 --> 01:18:30,837
That night I got drunk and I was
aiming this arrow at my house.
1168
01:18:31,004 --> 01:18:32,339
No, it's both ears.
1169
01:18:32,506 --> 01:18:34,299
- What are you doing?
- Trying to tell you.
1170
01:18:34,466 --> 01:18:37,260
I pulled it back,
I aimed at the house, I did this.
1171
01:18:37,427 --> 01:18:40,514
Nick, Nathan and Nellie
want you to kiss their boo-boos.
1172
01:18:40,681 --> 01:18:41,932
Wait, I heard that.
1173
01:18:42,099 --> 01:18:43,308
- Nick.
- I'm coming!
1174
01:18:43,475 --> 01:18:45,143
That was not a smart thing to do.
1175
01:18:45,310 --> 01:18:46,561
- I know!
- Come on.
1176
01:18:46,728 --> 01:18:49,022
No, Nick! I gotta tell--
1177
01:19:03,704 --> 01:19:04,955
Oh, shit!
1178
01:19:07,624 --> 01:19:09,668
- Timmy, honey!
- What?!
1179
01:19:09,876 --> 01:19:11,128
Where are you?
1180
01:19:11,294 --> 01:19:15,382
Timmy. Honey, I got it.
Definitely in the hips.
1181
01:19:15,882 --> 01:19:17,384
Timmy, where have you been?
1182
01:19:17,551 --> 01:19:19,094
- I killed the bum.
- What?
1183
01:19:19,261 --> 01:19:20,637
The bum. I shot an arrow.
1184
01:19:20,804 --> 01:19:23,598
It went up, it went down.
It's in the bum. I killed him.
1185
01:19:23,765 --> 01:19:25,183
Come. Come. Come. Come.
1186
01:19:25,350 --> 01:19:28,311
- Did you work out a deal with him?
- No! He's dead.
1187
01:19:28,478 --> 01:19:33,233
It's in his back. The arrow. I shot him.
I killed him. I killed a person!
1188
01:19:34,901 --> 01:19:36,653
What? Is this a joke?
1189
01:19:36,820 --> 01:19:38,613
I don't get your jokes sometimes.
1190
01:19:38,780 --> 01:19:41,450
And I'll tell you something.
I don't think it's always me.
1191
01:19:41,616 --> 01:19:43,076
- Hurry up! Come on!
- Honey!
1192
01:19:43,243 --> 01:19:46,455
- Hurry. Get in the house.
- No, no. Stop! What are you doing?
1193
01:19:46,872 --> 01:19:48,415
Wait! He could be in the house.
1194
01:19:48,582 --> 01:19:52,294
- There's nobody there! Oh, God.
- Car! He's wounded! He's crazy!
1195
01:19:52,461 --> 01:19:55,797
- Honey, this is really insane.
- Here! Get in! Get in!
1196
01:20:12,981 --> 01:20:14,399
Excuse me.
1197
01:20:14,566 --> 01:20:17,694
This'll take half a second.
Could you tell me...
1198
01:20:18,070 --> 01:20:20,030
...what's sticking in my back, please?
1199
01:20:20,697 --> 01:20:23,950
- A arrow.
- Fricking nitwit.
1200
01:20:25,035 --> 01:20:28,914
Look, I'm being stalked
by a genuine madman, okay?
1201
01:20:29,081 --> 01:20:31,333
I'm talking about a black force here.
1202
01:20:31,917 --> 01:20:35,379
I hate spoiling the atmosphere,
but would you mind...
1203
01:20:36,588 --> 01:20:38,382
...tugging the arrow out?
1204
01:20:38,965 --> 01:20:40,884
I want you to stop the car.
1205
01:20:41,051 --> 01:20:43,470
Honey, stop the car right now!
1206
01:20:43,637 --> 01:20:47,307
- Look. The guy's crazy.
- There is no dead man!
1207
01:20:47,474 --> 01:20:49,184
He's a loose cannon.
1208
01:20:49,351 --> 01:20:50,602
Excuse me.
1209
01:20:55,107 --> 01:20:57,901
Oh, my God,
there is a bum with an arrow.
1210
01:20:58,527 --> 01:20:59,945
He looks afraid of us.
1211
01:21:05,784 --> 01:21:07,744
You ever hear of "reach for the sky"?
1212
01:21:08,829 --> 01:21:11,915
You just shoot a guy in the back
with no warning.
1213
01:21:12,082 --> 01:21:13,625
That's right.
1214
01:21:13,792 --> 01:21:16,044
That's correct. That's right.
That's what I do.
1215
01:21:16,211 --> 01:21:18,380
Well, then, good God Almighty...
1216
01:21:18,547 --> 01:21:21,758
...we have entered, indeed,
into a dark day.
1217
01:21:22,718 --> 01:21:24,052
You gotta talk to him.
1218
01:21:24,469 --> 01:21:25,762
We were pals.
1219
01:21:26,013 --> 01:21:28,765
Who shoots a pal in the back
with a bow and arrow...
1220
01:21:28,932 --> 01:21:31,351
- ...over a couple of bucks?
- Me.
1221
01:21:31,518 --> 01:21:34,438
I'm an archer, and I shoot arrows.
1222
01:21:34,604 --> 01:21:37,816
And I got more back where
they came from, in my quiver.
1223
01:21:37,983 --> 01:21:40,402
You gotta listen to me.
I just wanted what you wanted.
1224
01:21:40,569 --> 01:21:42,779
A little taste of the good life.
1225
01:21:42,946 --> 01:21:46,366
A little taste of honey.
Is that so bad? Is it?
1226
01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,452
But you win.
1227
01:21:48,952 --> 01:21:53,290
Man, I fold, I can see it.
Greed has hardened your heart.
1228
01:21:53,540 --> 01:21:55,959
And money's poisoned your soul.
1229
01:21:56,293 --> 01:21:57,919
I'm out of here.
1230
01:21:58,086 --> 01:22:00,630
There's nothing as dangerous
as large quantities of money.
1231
01:22:00,797 --> 01:22:04,926
That's why I've always remained an
independent contractor, odd-job man.
1232
01:22:05,093 --> 01:22:06,636
I want no part of this.
1233
01:22:07,804 --> 01:22:10,140
I stand before you, begging...
1234
01:22:10,307 --> 01:22:11,975
...take the arrow out of my back.
1235
01:22:12,517 --> 01:22:14,102
You will never see me again.
1236
01:22:15,437 --> 01:22:18,565
Help me, God! Come on.
1237
01:22:19,441 --> 01:22:20,984
Honey...
1238
01:22:21,485 --> 01:22:24,029
...take the arrow out of his back.
1239
01:22:35,957 --> 01:22:37,334
Thank you.
1240
01:22:40,253 --> 01:22:42,172
- Thank you.
- Souvenir.
1241
01:23:39,354 --> 01:23:41,732
- Hey.
- Hey.
1242
01:23:42,399 --> 01:23:44,401
I couldn't sleep. I gotta talk to you.
1243
01:23:44,693 --> 01:23:46,069
Yeah, I gotta talk to you too.
1244
01:23:46,319 --> 01:23:49,406
You know, this big rally tomorrow,
I'm a wreck about it.
1245
01:23:49,573 --> 01:23:53,035
I gotta give a big speech.
I'm not a speech guy.
1246
01:23:53,201 --> 01:23:55,996
Nick, are you kidding?
Come on, those infomercials you did.
1247
01:23:56,163 --> 01:23:57,706
You're great in front of people.
1248
01:23:57,873 --> 01:24:00,792
Really? You thought I was good?
You never said a word about it.
1249
01:24:01,585 --> 01:24:04,546
Because it was just another thing of
yours that made me miserable.
1250
01:24:05,547 --> 01:24:06,757
What?
1251
01:24:07,299 --> 01:24:09,301
This is what I have to
talk to you about. Sit.
1252
01:24:13,972 --> 01:24:15,474
I killed Corky.
1253
01:24:17,100 --> 01:24:18,977
You k--?
1254
01:24:21,605 --> 01:24:22,898
When--?
1255
01:24:23,065 --> 01:24:25,942
Now, please, just don't say anything
till I'm done, all right?
1256
01:24:26,735 --> 01:24:29,404
The day that you gave me the wine,
remember?
1257
01:24:29,571 --> 01:24:32,449
I got drunk on the wine.
I actually was drunk from before.
1258
01:24:32,616 --> 01:24:35,494
And I went over into your yard,
and I was-- I--
1259
01:24:47,589 --> 01:24:50,300
So that's it. There you have it.
1260
01:24:51,885 --> 01:24:56,723
Well, you know, it sounds like it was
an accident. Why didn't you tell me?
1261
01:24:56,890 --> 01:24:59,142
I should've told you. That's the thing.
1262
01:24:59,309 --> 01:25:01,144
But I don't know what happened.
1263
01:25:01,311 --> 01:25:04,231
I felt guilty or something.
1264
01:25:04,398 --> 01:25:08,360
And I was just so wrapped up in the
envy that I felt for everything you had.
1265
01:25:08,527 --> 01:25:10,028
I mean, it's true what they say.
1266
01:25:10,320 --> 01:25:14,491
It's like a little green monster that
comes out, and it poisoned my head.
1267
01:25:14,741 --> 01:25:17,119
I mean-- And by the way,
you did nothing wrong.
1268
01:25:17,285 --> 01:25:20,038
You just followed your dream.
You did what you wanted to do.
1269
01:25:20,205 --> 01:25:23,667
I was always saying, "Don't do it, don't
do it." And you did it and it worked.
1270
01:25:23,834 --> 01:25:27,170
It worked. You built a house, right?
That's all you did. You built a house.
1271
01:25:27,337 --> 01:25:31,967
I mean, it's a big house. I mean, it's
a really big house. It's a large house.
1272
01:25:32,134 --> 01:25:34,302
It's a-- I mean, it's....
1273
01:25:34,761 --> 01:25:36,471
It's gigantic, Nick.
1274
01:25:37,472 --> 01:25:41,226
You built the White House across the
street, and we're in the shadow of it.
1275
01:25:41,393 --> 01:25:44,187
I mean, literally, every day, 4:00,
we're in the shadow of it.
1276
01:25:44,354 --> 01:25:45,564
And that's not your fault.
1277
01:25:45,731 --> 01:25:49,276
You wanted to be friends still and you
didn't wanna move, and I love that.
1278
01:25:49,443 --> 01:25:51,445
It was coming from such
a good place, but it--
1279
01:25:51,611 --> 01:25:54,197
It got to me because every day
I'd have to look at you...
1280
01:25:54,364 --> 01:25:56,158
...and see you with all of this stuff.
1281
01:25:56,324 --> 01:26:00,287
You know, buy the yellow Lamborghini
that goes 500 miles an hour.
1282
01:26:00,537 --> 01:26:03,373
Have a bowling alley next to
your bedroom. If I could, I would.
1283
01:26:03,540 --> 01:26:06,209
Everybody should have a
merry-go-round. You should have one.
1284
01:26:06,376 --> 01:26:09,254
Jealousy every day.
And it was just chewing me up.
1285
01:26:09,421 --> 01:26:12,799
I mean, your kid's playing the concert
piano, my kid's banging trash cans.
1286
01:26:12,966 --> 01:26:14,509
That has nothing to do with money.
1287
01:26:14,676 --> 01:26:17,596
I think that's just his musical ability.
But that's another thing.
1288
01:26:17,763 --> 01:26:20,974
And you just gave to us. You gave
and you gave, and you're so generous.
1289
01:26:21,141 --> 01:26:22,642
And what am I gonna give you?
1290
01:26:23,310 --> 01:26:26,438
I gave you tube socks for Christmas
last year. That's not gonna work.
1291
01:26:26,605 --> 01:26:28,023
I like the socks.
1292
01:26:28,190 --> 01:26:29,983
You gave us so much.
The coffee machine.
1293
01:26:30,150 --> 01:26:32,736
It's a beautiful, giant,
rocket-ship-sized coffee machine.
1294
01:26:32,903 --> 01:26:36,239
And Debbie loved the coffee.
I'll tell you something. I never tasted it.
1295
01:26:36,490 --> 01:26:38,200
I wanted to say that for a long time.
1296
01:26:38,367 --> 01:26:40,869
It's that bad. I can't tell you,
I didn't try the coffee.
1297
01:26:41,036 --> 01:26:43,330
Like I'll feel better if I won't
drink your coffee.
1298
01:26:43,497 --> 01:26:46,249
And you gave our kids flan.
All of a sudden my son's going:
1299
01:26:46,416 --> 01:26:48,293
"Daddy, where's the flan?
I want the flan."
1300
01:26:48,460 --> 01:26:51,296
It felt like a dagger in my heart
every time he'd request flan.
1301
01:26:51,463 --> 01:26:55,842
It made me feel little. I felt like
a little man who didn't like flan.
1302
01:26:56,009 --> 01:26:59,179
The horse was great, Nick.
Of course you should have a horse.
1303
01:26:59,346 --> 01:27:02,349
Does it have to be a white horse
that you come galloping up on...
1304
01:27:02,516 --> 01:27:04,393
...and it neighs and makes
the whole thing?
1305
01:27:04,559 --> 01:27:08,772
Of course. Make it a beautiful horse
that I think, honestly, didn't like me.
1306
01:27:08,939 --> 01:27:12,109
It had nothing to do with anything
except I didn't click with the horse.
1307
01:27:12,275 --> 01:27:15,946
I think the horse sensed something.
I think horse sense is a real thing.
1308
01:27:16,113 --> 01:27:19,866
Because the horse had a feeling.
He came and sensed the envy I felt.
1309
01:27:20,033 --> 01:27:23,870
He'd come over and eat the apples.
He'd look at me and give a weird look.
1310
01:27:24,037 --> 01:27:27,833
I'm telling you. You know sometimes
the side of a face, you get one eye?
1311
01:27:27,999 --> 01:27:31,253
He would keep the eye on me, and
I knew that he was thinking something.
1312
01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:34,631
That has nothing to do with the arrow.
That was an accident, Nick.
1313
01:27:34,798 --> 01:27:37,592
I swear to God. I swear to God.
I couldn't do it if I tried.
1314
01:27:38,844 --> 01:27:41,805
I'm sorry about this. I feel horrible.
1315
01:27:41,972 --> 01:27:43,181
I feel bad.
1316
01:27:43,348 --> 01:27:46,309
I feel like I have this fountain
in my yard that I don't deserve.
1317
01:27:46,476 --> 01:27:48,812
I don't deserve to be your partner.
1318
01:27:49,813 --> 01:27:52,441
I don't deserve to be your friend.
I just....
1319
01:27:52,816 --> 01:27:55,777
Well, you know what, Tim?
You made a mistake.
1320
01:27:55,944 --> 01:27:58,697
You're human.
Everyone makes mistakes.
1321
01:27:58,864 --> 01:28:01,533
So what, man?
You're still my best friend.
1322
01:28:02,200 --> 01:28:04,161
- Really?
- Of course.
1323
01:28:05,912 --> 01:28:08,498
Of course. Come on, man.
1324
01:28:08,999 --> 01:28:10,334
It was a big mistake. I mean--
1325
01:28:10,500 --> 01:28:14,129
It was a big mistake. It was a doozy.
1326
01:28:15,339 --> 01:28:17,132
Corky.
1327
01:28:17,758 --> 01:28:19,509
- I'm sorry, Nick.
- No, no. It's okay.
1328
01:28:19,676 --> 01:28:22,304
I know how much you loved him,
and I....
1329
01:28:23,138 --> 01:28:24,848
I did love Corky.
1330
01:28:25,682 --> 01:28:27,017
I never liked Corky.
1331
01:28:27,267 --> 01:28:30,312
I mean, he's beautiful on the outside.
It's just something wasn't--
1332
01:28:30,479 --> 01:28:31,855
Well, we're still partners.
1333
01:28:32,022 --> 01:28:34,858
There is no way you are
getting out of this partnership.
1334
01:28:35,025 --> 01:28:36,651
- Okay.
- Okay?
1335
01:28:36,818 --> 01:28:38,987
And I will see you tomorrow
at the big rally.
1336
01:28:40,489 --> 01:28:42,824
- Yeah.
- Good.
1337
01:28:43,533 --> 01:28:45,035
Big day.
1338
01:28:45,702 --> 01:28:48,497
Big day. Poor Corky.
1339
01:28:48,663 --> 01:28:52,209
One little target arrow. You wouldn't
think that could kill a great big horse.
1340
01:28:52,376 --> 01:28:53,877
That's exactly what I thought.
1341
01:28:54,044 --> 01:28:57,047
It's one little arrow,
and when I shot the bum...
1342
01:28:57,381 --> 01:28:58,965
...he hardly seemed to notice.
1343
01:29:00,634 --> 01:29:03,970
You know, that fountain looked a lot
better in Rome.
1344
01:29:06,515 --> 01:29:08,392
- Yeah.
- Well....
1345
01:29:08,934 --> 01:29:12,729
C'est la vie, as the Romans say.
1346
01:29:16,191 --> 01:29:18,860
On this beautiful, clear day...
1347
01:29:19,027 --> 01:29:22,447
...I think it is appropriate
that we clear the air...
1348
01:29:22,614 --> 01:29:24,574
...of the toxic distortions...
1349
01:29:25,033 --> 01:29:29,579
...that my husband,
and by association, myself...
1350
01:29:29,746 --> 01:29:35,085
...are somehow poisoning our
environment in our efforts to purify it.
1351
01:29:35,460 --> 01:29:36,837
It's not true.
1352
01:29:40,590 --> 01:29:41,800
Ladies and gentlemen...
1353
01:29:41,967 --> 01:29:45,887
...please help me welcome Nick
Vanderpark and Tim Dingman.
1354
01:30:00,277 --> 01:30:01,820
Thank you.
1355
01:30:02,070 --> 01:30:05,574
Ladies and gentlemen, young people.
1356
01:30:06,450 --> 01:30:09,494
I stand here with my partner,
Tim Dingman...
1357
01:30:10,871 --> 01:30:12,581
...that's right...
1358
01:30:14,124 --> 01:30:19,046
...grateful for this opportunity to
address the central question...
1359
01:30:19,212 --> 01:30:21,798
...posed in so many colorful...
1360
01:30:21,965 --> 01:30:23,800
...and eloquent variations.
1361
01:30:24,926 --> 01:30:29,806
Where is the shit?
1362
01:30:32,976 --> 01:30:34,478
Oh, my God.
1363
01:30:34,811 --> 01:30:36,271
Nick. Nick!
1364
01:30:36,605 --> 01:30:38,231
Corky?
1365
01:30:40,359 --> 01:30:43,320
{\an8}Mr. and Mrs. Vanderpark,
sorry we had to perform an autopsy...
1366
01:30:43,487 --> 01:30:46,740
{\an8}...but when any dead animal comes
in proximity with the general public...
1367
01:30:46,907 --> 01:30:49,534
{\an8}...it must be examined immediately
for health reasons.
1368
01:30:49,951 --> 01:30:52,704
I'm a little curious. Did you feed
your horse a lot of apples?
1369
01:30:53,163 --> 01:30:56,833
Our neighbors have an apple tree.
Corky loved their apples.
1370
01:30:57,000 --> 01:31:00,003
- Did he ever defecate in their yard?
- I imagine.
1371
01:31:01,505 --> 01:31:04,549
Can you tell me what you did when
the horse defecated in your yard?
1372
01:31:04,841 --> 01:31:08,845
Well, we used Vapoorize
because Nick invented it.
1373
01:31:09,012 --> 01:31:11,181
We get crates of it for free.
1374
01:31:11,682 --> 01:31:15,143
Well, it's all making sense.
1375
01:31:17,396 --> 01:31:19,147
The horse was poisoned.
1376
01:31:20,232 --> 01:31:24,111
We did find a broken shaft of
a small target arrow in the sternum...
1377
01:31:24,277 --> 01:31:26,530
...but that played no part in the death.
1378
01:31:26,697 --> 01:31:30,784
The horse died from the prolonged
ingesting of a certain chemical...
1379
01:31:30,951 --> 01:31:35,122
...which by itself is harmless, but when
combined with certain fecal bacteria...
1380
01:31:35,288 --> 01:31:37,165
...becomes a lethal poison.
1381
01:31:38,875 --> 01:31:40,293
A little person?
1382
01:31:40,919 --> 01:31:42,713
Lethal poison.
1383
01:31:42,921 --> 01:31:44,214
That chemical, I'm afraid...
1384
01:31:44,381 --> 01:31:47,718
...is the third ingredient in every can
of your so-called miracle invention.
1385
01:31:47,884 --> 01:31:50,012
He had enough of it, literally,
to kill a horse.
1386
01:31:53,682 --> 01:31:56,810
I am obligated, of course,
to report this to the EPA, huh?
1387
01:31:58,645 --> 01:32:00,063
EPA?
1388
01:32:02,190 --> 01:32:05,402
Environmental Protection Agency?
1389
01:32:05,569 --> 01:32:08,905
Do you have to do that?
You have to-- Right. You have to.
1390
01:32:11,158 --> 01:32:15,078
- It's all right.
- Every time without exception?
1391
01:32:24,921 --> 01:32:27,507
And the following item,
an extra large bed...
1392
01:32:27,674 --> 01:32:30,010
...that sleeps nine comfortably...
1393
01:32:30,177 --> 01:32:32,429
...for, let's say, $100.
1394
01:32:32,596 --> 01:32:36,558
X-L bed, sleeping nine.
Gotta love it for $100.
1395
01:32:36,725 --> 01:32:41,313
$72, anyone, for this white statue
of a man on a horse with a spray can?
1396
01:32:41,480 --> 01:32:43,148
Seventy-two, anyone? No?
1397
01:32:44,274 --> 01:32:46,902
Anybody need a portable phone?
Everyone needs one.
1398
01:32:47,069 --> 01:32:49,363
You want one in your kitchen,
in your extra bedroom.
1399
01:32:49,529 --> 01:32:52,699
You got a portable phone right there.
It's gonna go for $5.
1400
01:32:52,866 --> 01:32:54,284
The next thing is item 31.
1401
01:32:54,701 --> 01:32:59,289
I like this bug net. Why don't we
find out the estimated cost.
1402
01:32:59,456 --> 01:33:01,291
Oh, we've got two cases...
1403
01:33:01,458 --> 01:33:04,544
...of a semi-gourmet flan.
1404
01:33:04,711 --> 01:33:09,132
I believe that's some sort of
custard dish or something.
1405
01:33:09,299 --> 01:33:13,470
The semi-gourmet flan is gonna start
the bidding at $4.
1406
01:33:13,970 --> 01:33:16,348
- Nick?
- Yeah.
1407
01:33:17,974 --> 01:33:19,851
I think I have an idea.
1408
01:33:20,477 --> 01:33:21,978
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1409
01:33:22,145 --> 01:33:24,690
- Like a really big idea.
- Really?
1410
01:33:24,856 --> 01:33:27,192
When you got your idea,
did you feel it immediately?
1411
01:33:27,359 --> 01:33:29,111
Oh, yeah. Right away.
1412
01:33:29,277 --> 01:33:31,154
You got one of those?
Like one of my ideas?
1413
01:33:31,321 --> 01:33:33,573
- I think so.
- What is it?
1414
01:33:40,205 --> 01:33:41,832
Yes!
1415
01:33:43,625 --> 01:33:46,503
Hey. Hey! Stop the auction!
1416
01:33:48,630 --> 01:33:52,926
{\an8}You just cannot eat flan
and drive at the same time.
1417
01:33:53,093 --> 01:33:55,512
{\an8}Look, I've got flan all over me.
1418
01:33:55,679 --> 01:33:58,473
Can't somebody come up
with a better idea?
1419
01:33:58,640 --> 01:33:59,850
We have.
1420
01:34:00,225 --> 01:34:01,601
{\an8}That's right!
1421
01:34:02,394 --> 01:34:03,854
{\an8}Be one of the millions...
1422
01:34:04,021 --> 01:34:06,690
{\an8}...enjoying the taste sensation
that's sweeping the nation.
1423
01:34:06,857 --> 01:34:08,775
{\an8}Nick's talking about Pocket Flan!
1424
01:34:08,942 --> 01:34:10,235
{\an8}Pocket Flan!
1425
01:34:11,361 --> 01:34:14,031
{\an8}- No spoon, no mess!
- That's right.
1426
01:34:14,197 --> 01:34:15,741
{\an8}Three simple steps, folks.
1427
01:34:15,907 --> 01:34:17,826
{\an8}- Just flip it!
- Flip it!
1428
01:34:17,993 --> 01:34:19,745
{\an8}- Squeeze it!
- Squeeze it!
1429
01:34:21,830 --> 01:34:24,332
{\an8}- And enjoy.
- Enjoy!
1430
01:34:24,499 --> 01:34:27,044
{\an8}Wait a second, Tim.
What was that name again?
1431
01:34:27,210 --> 01:34:29,046
{\an8}Pocket Flan!
1432
01:34:29,212 --> 01:34:30,672
{\an8}Isn't that just fantastic?
1433
01:34:30,839 --> 01:34:33,550
{\an8}No, Nick, it's not fantastic.
It's "flan-tastic."
1434
01:34:35,052 --> 01:34:38,388
{\an8}Yeah, but, Tim, Nick,
I have a question.
1435
01:34:38,555 --> 01:34:41,850
{\an8}How about us who are
lactose-intolerant?
1436
01:34:42,017 --> 01:34:45,395
{\an8}We've got a new
soy-based Pocket Flan.
1437
01:35:36,279 --> 01:35:37,781
It's flan in a tube.
1438
01:35:37,948 --> 01:35:40,117
It's a little bit of happiness
in a tube.
1439
01:35:40,283 --> 01:35:41,785
Let's say I'm jogging.
1440
01:35:41,952 --> 01:35:44,454
I'm getting kind of tired,
I need a pick-me-up.
1441
01:35:44,621 --> 01:35:46,415
What am I gonna do,
get a candy bar?
1442
01:35:46,581 --> 01:35:49,084
Imagine if you were jogging
with some of this stuff.
1443
01:35:50,002 --> 01:35:52,045
What's going on?
It's not gonna work.
1444
01:35:52,212 --> 01:35:53,463
Here's the other thing.
1445
01:35:53,630 --> 01:35:55,882
You're eating your flan,
you're like, "That's good.
1446
01:35:56,049 --> 01:35:59,011
I wanna get down there,
where it's brown and super sugary."
1447
01:35:59,177 --> 01:36:00,721
Where do you--? I can't--
1448
01:36:00,887 --> 01:36:04,099
In here we've mixed it up. You've got
all that. It's already premixed.
1449
01:36:04,266 --> 01:36:06,810
The brown is always part of it,
even if you don't see it.
1450
01:36:06,977 --> 01:36:11,273
In the Tour de France, they're going
20 miles a day, going up mountains.
1451
01:36:11,440 --> 01:36:14,609
What do you think they're pulling out
of their Spandex bikini bottom...
1452
01:36:14,776 --> 01:36:16,903
...to squeeze in their mouth
when they wanna eat?
1453
01:36:17,070 --> 01:36:18,530
Pocket Flan!
1454
01:36:18,697 --> 01:36:22,576
And here's another question. What if
I'm doing some skydiving, and I'm like:
1455
01:36:22,743 --> 01:36:25,662
"I gotta get some-- I'm gonna get
some cornflakes.
1456
01:36:25,829 --> 01:36:28,665
I don't have time for cornflakes.
I do have time for flan."
1457
01:36:28,832 --> 01:36:31,168
That's right. I would love to see this.
1458
01:36:32,336 --> 01:36:36,548
This was vacuum-tested to a depth
of 200 feet, if you're scuba diving.
1459
01:36:36,715 --> 01:36:39,926
Just the other day, I see this kid
walking down the street.
1460
01:36:40,093 --> 01:36:42,763
- He has the Pocket Flan. Right?
- Right.
1461
01:36:42,929 --> 01:36:45,849
He squeezes it, he's on a skateboard.
He squeezes it.
1462
01:36:46,016 --> 01:36:48,393
It arcs up. He goes like-- And--
1463
01:36:48,894 --> 01:36:51,355
That's like a new trick.
That's a new skateboard trick.
1464
01:36:51,521 --> 01:36:54,524
Who here likes to drive?
You guys like to drive? Yeah.
1465
01:36:54,691 --> 01:36:57,861
Who here likes to drive race cars?
Anybody? All right.
1466
01:36:58,028 --> 01:36:59,363
I'm Captain Speedway...
1467
01:36:59,529 --> 01:37:04,534
...and nothing tastes better at 200
miles per hour than Pocket Flan.
1468
01:37:04,701 --> 01:37:08,997
Firemen. "I gotta go save someone.
Maybe I need a little extra something."
1469
01:37:09,164 --> 01:37:12,584
"Wait. Where will I put my hose?
I can't hold the hose and this thing.
1470
01:37:12,751 --> 01:37:14,044
Where's the hose go?
1471
01:37:14,211 --> 01:37:17,255
I put a hose under my arm
and then I'm trying to fight the fire--"
1472
01:37:17,422 --> 01:37:19,257
This is on a serious note.
1473
01:37:19,758 --> 01:37:24,513
Recently we received a letter
from a woman, Gladys...
1474
01:37:25,222 --> 01:37:26,431
...who....
1475
01:37:27,182 --> 01:37:29,059
Well, Pocket Flan saved her life.
1476
01:37:29,226 --> 01:37:30,852
All right.
1477
01:37:32,020 --> 01:37:36,233
She was a backpacker.
She was stuck out in the woods...
1478
01:37:36,692 --> 01:37:38,235
...and, by God, Pocket Flan--
1479
01:37:38,402 --> 01:37:39,945
I can't think of it.
1480
01:37:40,153 --> 01:37:44,157
I wanted to say some tearful thing,
but I couldn't think of the thing.
110130
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